All language subtitles for Jimmy Kimmel 2020 09 22 Eugene Levy WEB h264 BAE_track3_eng

♪
>> this is an abc station.

>> dicky: From hollywood, it's
"jimmy kimmel live."

tonight, the emmy-award-winning
cast of hit's creek, and now,

here'
here's jimmy kimmel.

>> jimmy: Hello.
I'm jimmy.

I'm the host of the show.
We are coming to you from our

studio in hollywood, on the
first official day of fall.

You can tell it's fall because
the fires are changing color.

It's very beautiful.
And with a new season, comes a

fresh new crop of emojis.
The unicode consortium, these

are the people who oversee which
emojis do and do not make it

into your phone, revealed the
more than 200 new ones they'll

be rolling out.
That is "face with spiral eyes,"

"heart on fire," and "face
exhaling."

well, if those three emojis
together don't sum up 2020, I

don't know what does.
They also have some new facial

hair stuff.
This is "person with a beard"

and this is "woman with a
beard."

I don't know.
Looks like emo jesus to me, or

jared leto.
Even our emojis are letting

themselves go during quarantine.
And once again, despite my

intense lobbying efforts, I had
meetings with these people, I

filled out the forms, I
presented my case, still no

meatball emoji!
They've got sausage, they've got

dumplings, they've got oysters,
chicken, tacos and soup.

No meatballs.
They've got falafel and bundt

cake.
I can't get a meatball.

We need a new president.
We have a fun show tonight from

beginning to end.
Jack black and kyle gass,

otherwise known as tenacious d,
is with us, and we will be

joined by the cast of the show
that dominated the emmys.

Dan levy, eugene levy,
catherine o'hara and

annie murphy, aka the rose
family, are with us from their

homes up north.
They won all the emmys Sunday

night.
Canadians haven't swept us like

this since the world curling
championships back in 2017.

Their show is called "schitt's
creek," which is a title that is

a problem for american broadcast
television.

>> the show up a creek whose
name we can't say on morning tv.

>> can't say the name on tv, but
it involves the name "creek".

>> our bosses say we can't say
the name of the show.

>> she tonight want to get in
trouble.

>> that is spelled s-c-h-I-t-t.
>> the show that sounds like

"splits creek."
>> we're talking about s-creek,

s-creek is so good.
>> never seen blank creek?

>> can I say the name of the
show?

>> yeah.
>> hits creek.

>> jimmy: That's the kind of
courage we need right now.

Today, I hope you know, is
national voter registration day.

This is the day to make sure you
are registered, and if not, to

get registered.
Guillermo, are you registered to

vote?
>> guillermo: Yes, jimmy.

>> jimmy: Will you be voting by
mail or in person?

>> guillermo: No, in person.
>> jimmy: Some people don't

bother to register.
What are you going do do, we

have to work that day?
>> guillermo: Maybe go early.

>> jimmy: Some people don't
bother to register.

Those are usually the same
people who find time to vote on

what the new pringles flavor
should be.

But it's very important to
register, because if you don't

register, you can't vote and if
you don't vote, you won't get a

sticker.
And also, there's a psychotic

individual in the white house
who could use some removing.

It's hard to believe that we are
only 42 days away from

donald trump refusing to accept
the results of the election.

The other vote that could happen
very soon is in the senate.

The big question in washington
is, who will fill the vacancy

left by justice
ruth bader ginsburg?

This morning, the president
wrote, "I will be announcing my

supreme court nominee on
Saturday, at the white house!

Exact time tba."
there's nothing trump loves more

than announcing he's going to
make an announcement.

He's a real tba-hole.
But it looks like trump is gonna

get his way on this because
today we learned that he's got

the support of his least
favorite senator, mitt romney of

utah.
Romney says he will vote on

whomever trump nominates.
So now we're up "mitt's creek"

too.
As everyone knows, republicans

blocked obama from appointing a
new justice almost a full year

before the 2016 election because
they said it was for the next

president to decide.
Now they say, we can't wait for

the next president, we need to
get this done now!

I wonder if the reason why they
are doing this, why they are

revealing themselves to be utter
hypocrites, has occurred to

donald trump?
If republicans thought trump was

gonna win, they would just wait.
But they're not waiting, they

want to do it now, because they
think he's gonna lose.

I wonder if this has dawned on
him yet?

>> mr. President we need to make
this happen before you're back

at mar-a-lago screaming at the
housekeepers."

trump is moving very quickly on
this, but when it came to doing

something about a virus that he
knew was deadly, a virus that

has now killed more than
200 thousand of the americans he

swore an oath to protect, then,
he moved slower than eric doing

the people magazine crossword
puzzle.

But donald trump isn't the type
to worry about a silly virus.

He's got his show on the road,
he had a gig in swanton, ohio

last night, where told the crowd
covid "affects virtually nobody.

It's an amazing thing."
which is insane.

And on top of that, something
fishy is going on at the centers

for disease control.
On Friday, the cdc posted new

guidelines for how covid is
spread.

>> jimmy: They wrote, "it is
possible that covid-19 may

spread through the droplets and
airborne particles that are

formed when a person who has
covid-19 coughs, sneezes, sings,

talks or breathes."
they forgot yodels.

The site also warned that
droplets can remain suspended in

air, and travel more than six
feet.

Which was a big deal because,
even though we knew this, it was

the first time a government
website admitted it, but that

was on Friday.
Yesterday, that paragraph about

droplets was removed and
replaced with this --

"a draft version of proposed
changes to these recommendations

was posted in error to the
agency's official website."

in other words, "oops!
We accidentally posted the

truth."
sorry.

This is suspicious because it's
not the first time something

like this has happened.
Last month, the cdc also changed

their guidance from, "if you
think you've been in contact

with someone infected, you
should get tested" to "you

should not get tested."
and then when there was a big

outcry, they changed it back.
Which is odd, very odd.

So today, a scientist from the
cdc released new official

guidance to, hopefully, clear
things up.

>> hi.
I'm donald rape.

Chief of viral epidemiology at
the cdc is.

And I want to assure you, we are
working around the clock to keep

your family safe and to get you
the information you need.

First, know that this virus is
highly contagious.

And it is deadly.
Correction.

It is somewhat contagious and
very dangerous.

Kind of dangerous and actually
not really a big deal at all.

Next, the virus' primary means
of twrans ransmission is throug

coughing or sneezing and can
also be transmitted through

aerosols which are fine
particles which hang in the air

and are not anything you need to
worry about, because the virus

is not actually airborne after
all.

So good news there.
In terms of prevention, social

distancing is still critical.
Because studies show that

most -- most scientists are
nerds who don't want anyone to

have any fun.
Also, masks -- I, I don't even

know what this is.
Ham

hambirder, extra pickle.
I guess that's it.

Together we can beat this thing.
Stay safish, play it by ear and

never mind, because it's cured.
And I just quit.

[ bleep ] this.
>> jimmy: Well, at least they're

stopping the spread of
information.

The cdc is also, for now,
strongly discouraging families

from trick or treating this
year.

Which is a bummer for kids, but
I will say, I'm fine with

skipping Halloween.
It's hard to get excited about

putting on a costume when, for
the past six months I've been

going to the supermarket dressed
like a beekeeper.

This is our second day back to
work here at our studio.

And we have an array of new
safety measures in place.

Some of them are annoying, like
you can't have water at your

desk, that's a real one.
We have the building divided

into zones.
Zone a, b, and c.

We have plastic shields
everywhere.

It's crazy.
So we decided to have some fun

with our staff on the first day
back.

Yesterday, we set up hidden
cameras at the entrance to our

building, we hired an actor to
pose as our new "health and

safety officer," and we tested
the patience of our unsuspecting

co-workers.
♪

>> what's your name and your
call sign.

>> alec.
>> alec, what do you do here?

>> I'm the stage manager.
>> oh, wow, what does that

entail?
>> managing the stage.

>> oh, okay.
Have you had diarrhea in the

last six months?
>> that's random question.

It's possible, but I don't
recollect it.

>> these questions seem random,
but they're not.

>> bliemy.
>> did you get their?

>> I did, and I filled it all
out, and I'm good.

>> so have you?
>> I mean, there's more solid

ones than less-solid ones.
If you want to answer that

question more specifically.
>> can you lift up your shirt

real quick?
The tummy temperature.

And what is your name and call
time?

>> guillermo rodriguez.
>> can you list your duties on

the show, please?
>> I'm with jimmy.

I talk to everybody.
I talk to everybody.

>> can you be more specific?
What do you do here?

>> im'm the teleprompter guy.
>> sounds like a fun job.

>> dit's stressful but fun.
>> any tips to help me break in?

>> don't.
If there's anything you can do

that makes you happy, do it.
>> thanks, welcome back, get a

haircut, you hippy.
Can you describe your sneeze?

>> normal sneeze.
>> how about large projectile?

>> no.
>> do me a favor.

Can you take three steps back?
>> sure.

>> okay.
Show me your sneeze.

>> mask on or off.
>> just pretend sneeze.

>> chooo.
>> that's it?

>> yeah.
>> okay.

That's no problem.
Come on back.

How many times have you had
diarrhea in the past six months?

>> I haven't had it in over a
year.

>> okay.
Will you take three steps back?

>> okay.
>> and just show me what it was

like the last time you had
diarrhea.

>> what it was like?
>> yeah.

>> only group a can use the
bathroom until 2:00 p.M.

>> so I have to wait until 2:00
p.M. To go to the bathroom?

>> mm-hm.
You're in zone a, right?

>> yes.
>> 2:00 p.M.

>> that's six hours, right?
>> do you need an empty gatorade

bottle or something like that?
>> no.

>> I'm sure you'll be fine.
Let's do another question.

>> got to wear these?
>> it's simply to help with

contact tracing.
>> is everybody wearing these?

>> just some, actually.
And also, if you ever have to

take it off, your head of
department will have a key and

so forth.
Will you be wearing shorts every

day?
>> yes.

>> what's reason for that?
>> I like to wear shorts.

>> are your legs especially hot?
>> no.

That's all I wear is shorts.
>> just trying to understand why

a grown man is wearing shorts to
work.

♪ row, row, row your boat gently
down the stream ♪

♪
>> all the digits.

Still singing.
♪ merrily, merrily, merrily,

life is but a dream ♪
>> a little slower.

♪ row, row
>> take some hand sanitizer.

I want to make sure you're
sanitizing it robustly.

A little bit more.
See, this is why I need to

watch.
Okay.

Actually, that's a little too
fast.

That's a lot of hand sanitizer.
So obviously, jimmy kimmel is

the host.
>> right.

>> if you can say a number of
statements and say I will.

If jimmy kimmel walks within ten
feet of me, I will walk in the

other direction.
>> if I --

>> can you put your hand up?
It's under oath.

Ly not touch anything that jimmy
may have touched, including

sinks, nozzles and handles.
>> hey!

>> you need to turn around and
walk away.

How many doorknobs have you
touched today?

We need an exact number.
>> just the doorknob to my

bedroom and my front door.
>> can you demonstrate how you

open the door?
Just go ahead and walk me

through.
>> I don't know, just like that.

>> okay.
Open the door.

And walk through.
Got it.

Okay.
Okay.

Just one more.
>> I got to go --

>> just one more, just an eye
test real quick.

Can you read line four?
>> lpde.

>> the next and then the last
line.

>> jimmy's totally [ bleep ] I
knew it.

>> thanks, welcome back.
>> jimmy: There you go.

That's, if you knew it, why were
you so mad if you knew?

>> guillermo: No, I didn't know
it.

>> jimmy: But you said you knew
it?

>> guillermo: I just --
>> jimmy: We're going to have to

start giving you a lie detector
test e

>> jimmy: Tonight on the show,
tenacious d is here, and we'll

be right back with the
emmy-dominating cast of

"schitt's creek," eugene levy,
catherine o'hara, dan levy, and

annie murphy.
So stick around!

♪
♪

>> jimmy: Welcome back.
It's not officially fall until

you get your first squirt of
pumpkin spice purell.

Mm, delicious.
Tonight on the show, their new

graphic novel is called
"post-apocalypto," tenacious d

is here.
Tomorrow night, riz ahmed and

tim mcgraw will be with us, and
on Thursday norman reedus and

music from amine.
So please join us for that.

Not since the great maple syrup
wars of the 1800s has our nation

been so thoroughly dominated by
our neighbors to the north the

way we were on Sunday night.
When our first guests achieved

an historic schitt's sweep,
winning all 7 primetime emmy

awards for comedy.
From "schitt's creek", please

welcome eugene levy, dan levy,
annie murphy and

catherine o'hara.
Hello!

>> woo!
>> we won, aye?

>> jimmy: Congratulations.
Not only am I personally happy

for you guys, every comedy nerd
was delighted that you guys won

all these awards on Sunday
night.

I really felt that backstage at
the emmies, for sure.

>> wow, I'll take that as a
compliment.

>> jimmy: It is a compliment.
>> it was bizarre.

It was surreal.
I swear.

It was like I said, on the
night, I said it's like a dream

you never want to wbecame up
from.

>> jimmy: Speaking of dreams,
the next morning, how late did

you stay and who set up that big
party you guys had that night?

>> it was a two parter, to be
honest, because we had plans to

have a much larger party,
because in canada, up until, oh,

what's that?
>> I was just cleaning the

house.
>> I see.

>> jimmy: Eugene's working with
props now.

>> we're trying to keep people
on our side at this point, dad.

We're trying not to turn people.
>> you don't have to tell me

about it.
>> okay.

Just trying to --
>> I'm always two steps ahead.

>> absolutely.
Yeah, the party, we had a big

party planned.
In canada, can you have a larger

gathering because, you know,
canada's been doing good when it

came to the covid.
And then obviously, in true 2020

fashion, the night before our
emmy party, the government had

to minimize the party size in
half, which meant that we had a

last-minute uninvitation
ceremony, which had to happen

for our lovely crew, which we
were so excited to share the

night with.
>> jimmy: Oh, no.

>> so it was a strange kind of
vibe going into the evening.

>> and all because the numbers
had spiked to 380 across the

entire province.
>> jimmy: Who made those phone

calls to the people who were
invited and then uninvited?

>> not us.
I would say, I was the first one

to say "not me."
>> jimmy: There was a lot of

celebration, not just in that
tent you guys had set up, but

all across canada.
The tower and the toronto sign

were lit in gold in your honor.
The prime minister tweeted about

you.
And I think maybe best of all

your cast mate/daughter/sister,
sarah, this is the video that's

been making the rounds today,
let's take a look at that.

[ screaming ]
[ laughter ]

>> jimmy: That went on for like
a full minute.

Is sarah okay?
>> she's not okay, no.

We have not heard from her
since.

So very unclear on her status at
this point.

But she was excited when the
video was filmed.

>> jimmy: Kathryn, you gave a
speech that I think mara would

have approved of.
>> I convinced myself I wouldn't

win.
And I thought, anybody who said

I was going to win was just
setting me up for a cruel, cruel

evening and so I convinced
myself.

And I'm saying, no, no, no, and
then it happened.

And we went crazy.
>> jimmy: You all won win after

went
win after win.

And we were backstage having a
conversation, oh, hmy god, I hoe

annie wins, that would be
terrible.

It's tough enough not to win an
emmy, but when everyone else on

the show wins, was that making
you feel extra pressure?

>> yes, yes.
It was awful.

At no point was I like, well, we
won this many, now I'm going to

win.
It was more like internal

monologue of just who am I going
to apologize to first when I

lose?
>> annie, annie, tell them what

I asked, if you'd written
anything just in case.

Tell them what you had.
>> it was really embarrassing,

actually.
So, yeah, we were talking and

she was like, what are you going
to say when you, you know,

what's your acceptance speech?
Have you written an acceptance

speech?
I was like, no, no, I haven't.

I'm not going to win.
She's like, what are you going

to say if you win?
And I said I don't know,

probably something like this.
I'll just go up to the podium

and do that for 45 seconds.
And then kathryn was

>> I said I hope you win.
>> and each table can do a

different sound effect.
It will be great.

Thank goodness that didn't
happen.

That's all I had.
>> jimmy: We can work that into

the show if you want to.
I think one of the things that I

don't know maybe was as cool as
winning the emmy, maybe even

cooler was we'd asked a bunch of
celebrities, what's your

favorite show, and elton john
said "schitt's creek" was his

favorite and he spoke about your
show.

Now that had to be great, right?
That's pretty good.

>> yeah.
It was, it was, I mean, my eyes

were popping when that came on.
I'd met him a couple of years

ago.
At the, at a "vanity fair" party

and discovered that he and his
partner, david, were huge fans

of the show, and then I ran
around the party looking for

daniel.
>> I got a text from my dad

saying "we're with elton john,
come find us".

And at that party, there's so
many people that you couldn't

possibly find anyone, and I was
thinking, this is such a full

circle moment, because I was
named after an elton john song.

>> jimmy: Which one?
>> it's such a big deal.

>> which one?
>> when I ran into my parents at

the end of the night, he was
like, what did he say when you

named your child after one of
your songs?

And he said we didn't tell him
that, we forgot.

>> forgot.
>> jimmy: But I'd like you to

meet my "tiny dancer."
we're going to take a break.

When we come back, we will see
more of the celebration that

went on in canada and more with
the cast of "schitt's creek"

after this.
♪

>>> and the emmy goes to
"schitt's creek."

>> "schitt's creek."
>> "schitt's creek."

>> "schitt's creek."
>> "schitt's creek."

>> "schitt's
♪

♪
>> jimmy: Yeah, move over

degrassi, there's a new favorite
show.

That was the victory parade from
canada.

They won all of them.
I have the figures, seven emmy

wins, nine for the season, most
ever by a comedy in a year,

first to sweep all four acting
categories, dan and a eugene

become the first father-son
team.

And you set the record for the
most times your glasses fogged

up on ointernational television.
Did people make note of that?

>> the mask, it was an
impossibility.

It was either go blind or wear
the mask.

And I chose to be safe in the
name of health and safety.

>> jimmy: Eugene and kathryn,
you've won an emmy together in

1982 for one of the greatest
shows of all time, sctv.

And there you guys are with
andrea martin.

What, what do you remember about
that night?

It was almost 40 years ago.
>> well, I mean, for me, I do

remember that the clip that they
picked was a piece that I, that

I wrote called "perry como's
still alive."

and it was a promo for a perry
como special, and, you know, I

was, as perry's in bed with the
blanket pulled up, singing a

song.
I was lying on the floor.

With my face down, with the mic
in front of my mouth.

And it was a very funny piece,
and I remember that the audience

went crazy.
They were really laughing hard

when that piece went on, and it
felt like, I felt like a million

bucks.
And then they announced the

winner of the category, and it
turned out to be a special from

lincoln center.
And I remember like an audible

groan in the room.
Kathryn, what do you think?

What's yours?
>> I can see that picture that

the wire in my leather dress was
coming up.

So it looks like I've drawn in
the cleave age, but that's not

what happened.
Milton burl, I dthink he

announced it, scdv, whoever the
hell they are.

>> jimmy: Uncle milty wasn't a
fan?

Hey, you guys, it's hard not to
do an impression of eugene when

you're around him a lot.
I've had this experience myself.

Do you guys do impersonations of
eugene?

Annie, let's start with you.
>> uh, yeah.

Uh, annie, how are ya?
Huh, same, same, same.

Yeah, that's what I got.
>> kathryn?

>> who's next?
>> mine is, mine is the scariest

thing is to give giene an idea.
What about this?

He'll that
think about it and you say what

about this, this, this.
Uh, uh, that would be a good ten

minutes.
>> jimmy: All right, dan, go do

it.
He's your dad, you have to have

something, right?
>> it's well, now I feel like,

just mimicking the eyebrows just
alone at this point.

But it is.
>> you're cheating.

>> uh, uh-huh, uh, there's a lot
of throat clearing.

>> very a medical condition.
>> it's a throat clear, and then

a pace that is slower than
anything or anyone you've ever

experienced.
And it is a kind of lovely,

slow-moving, just real slow kind
of cadence that only the

sweetest humans on the planet
would ever quite understand.

And for that, you know, that is
why people gave you an emmy last

night.
[ laughter ]

>> jimmy: Yes.
>> it's the rhythm that scares

the hell out of talk show hosts.
[ laughter ]

>> jimmy: So, hey, will we ever
see these characters again?

I know you wrapped it up.
But is there any possibility of

anything beyond this?
>> I take johnny on the road

starting tomorrow.
Uh, you know, I guess it just

depends on how much money people
want to spend, but no, I think,

you know, obviously, this has
been, as I said I think multiple

times last night, the single
greatest experience of my life.

And obviously, these people I
love like family, and so for us,

obviously, there's a kind of
elegance about bowing out when

people still care about you.
>> jimmy: Yes.

>> if we come back, which I hope
we do in some capacity, it has

to be deserving of everyone's
time.

So that is that on that.
>> jimmy: I hope so too.

Let's not forget the great chris
elliot who is on the show as

well.
[ applause ]

hopefully watching.
>> jimmy: Watch all six seasons

of "schitt's creek" on demand,
on the pop now app, or on comedy

central, starting Friday,
October 2nd at 8 o'clock.

Thank you all for being with us,
and congratulations on the

emmies.
We'll be back with tenacious

>> jimmy: Welcome back.
Tenacious d is on the way,

>> jimmy: Hi guillermo.
>> hi jimmy.

>> jimmy: Why do you have that
in your mouth?

>> to show off my shiny white
teeth.

>> jimmy: To show off your tiny
tai chi?

>> no.
My shiny white teeth.

I am using crest whitening
emulsions.

>> jimmy: Crest lightning
emojis?

>> crest whitening emulsions!
>> jimmy: Oh!

Crest whitening emulsions, I use
those too!

>> they make my teeth 100%
whiter with virtually no

sensitivity.
>> jimmy: I have no idea what

you said, but I've noticed they
make my teeth 100% whiter, with

virtually no sensitivity.
Look at that.

You just apply it right to your
teeth and go.

It's very simple.
Thank you guillermo.

You make me smile on the inside
too.

I love your teeth and I love
your whole face.

>> ok.
>> jimmy: Anything nice you want

to say to me?
>> yes.

I love your teeth too.
>> dicky: For 100% whiter teeth,

try new crest whitening
emulsions.

Buy now at walgreens and
crestwhitesmile.Com.

>> jimmy: Welcome back.
Our next guests make up the

hardest hard rock band in the
history of the world, and now

they are the hardest graphic
novelists too.

"post-apocalypto" is their
latest masterpiece, please

welcome jack black and
kyle gass, aka tenacious d.

[ applause ]
men, hello?

Where?
♪

>> jimmy: Wow!
Oh, my goodness.

Incredible.
>> how are you?

>> jimmy: I'm good.
I'm even better now that you

guys have appeared.
What was that?

>> we teleport.
We don't live on earth anymore.

We think it's safer up on the
tenacious d space station.

We teleport down for special
occasions like this one.

>> jimmy: I like that.
I like that a lot.

What else is going on with you
guys?

>> well, you know, it's sort of
like mellow.

That's how we enter these days
with telepourtation, with

technology, with age we've
become a little more mature.

I know we used to be crazy
rockers and come out and destroy

your set.
That's just not us anymore.

>> jimmy: I appreciate that.
Weep have kind of a new set.

>>p have kind of a new set.
>> shake!

♪
>> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
♪

>> oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah!

Ah, yeah!
Ah!

Yeah!
>> jimmy: Well, you know what?

>> and we're back!
Ah.

>> jimmy: You're gentler when
it's your own furniture, jack.

>> is that okay?
What's your beef?

>> I kind of went a little hard
core on the cardio on that

entrance.
>> I should have given it more.

>> I love you, jimmy.
We don't want to hold anything

back.
Just because it's quarantine

times.
>> jimmy: Yeah.

>> so yeah, during quarantine
times, me and cage have been

socially distancing.
All the responsible rockers

have.
And if you think about it, all

the rockers have been pretty
responsible.

They rock responsibly.
>> jimmy: Have they?

>> well, it's like even anthrax
and, and mega death are

quarantining.
So if those guys are

quarantining, the only, there's
only like three bands that don't

quarantine now.
Kanye, smash mouth.

>> jimmy: Uh-huh.
>> and kid rock.

Other than that, everyone is on
the same page.

>> jimmy: Kyle, let's give jack
a rest for a second.

>> yeah.
Thank you, jimmy.

>> jimmy: Where are you right
now?

Are you at your home?
>> I'm at home.

This is great.
I feel like we're cheating.

>> jimmy: Have you missed jack?
You have missed --

>> I do.
But in all honesty, jack, we

don't see each other that much.
>> jimmy: Is that true?

>> no.
You mean in real life?

>> jimmy: Yeah.
>> well, I guess, yeah.

Ever since I had my babies, my,
my family life has really cut

into my quality time with cage,
but the love is still there.

>> jimmy: You guys were supposed
to go on tour together, right?

Weren't you planning a tour?
>> oh, my god.

Look.
>> look.

>> here's thing, about post
ap

apock limito.
We were like this is the end of

the world when trump became
president.

We like, we have to save the
world with our rock.

So we wrote "masterpiece".
And the whole four years are

like, when it becomes election
time we're going to tour all the

purple stating to rock the boat
and literally save the world.

And this pandemic totally
screwed that up.

So our plan has been scuttled,
but I'm still out of breath!

This sucks.
I'm never going to destroy a

couch again.
>> I always wanted to do an

interview.
Come on, jimmy.

>> so instead of rocking all the
purple states we're just going

to be here with you.
>> jimmy: All right, that's

okay.
Just people should get out and

vote, obviously.
I wish we didn't have to tell

them that, but I do want to
mention your book here, because,

and by the way, I get the book.
And I pick it up.

And I, I, I think it's great.
It's very creative.

And then I asked our producers
to do fme a favor and count the

number of penises, jack, that
you drew in the book, would you

care to guess how many penises
are in the book?

>> whoa, definitely over, I
think it's definitely, I think

it's under 100, like 92.
>> I'm going to go overs, jimmy.

>> jimmy: It depends on if you
count all the hundreds of

penises on the inside and back
covers.

But, if you don't, the answer is
96.

>> ah!
>> in fairness, there are an

awful lot of vaginas.
>> jimmy: That's true.

There are.
You guys are nothing if not

fair.
You've done something

interesting.
So if you go to your website,

what will people get to, they
can do while they read this

book?
Tell us.

>> I'm glad you asked that.
>> jimmy: Thank you.

>> I'm glad you asked that,
jimmy, because on the first

page, when you open it up.
>> jimmy: Yeah.

>> it says right here, I can't
read without my glasses, but

basically what it says is listen
along, follow along with the

audio.
If you go to tenacious d.Com you

can read it and listen to it
like a picture book, like an

old-fashioned school, and you
hear our audio vocal

performances and all the music
that goes along with it.

>> jimmy: Beautiful.
Now I guys are --

>> but I do want to do one
warning, jimmy.

You did mention the penises,
obviously, this is not for kids.

It's illustrated.
J

.
>> jimmy: Don't worry, it

doesn't look like it's for kids
at all.

>> there are a lot of parts in
this book that are really

arousing.
And if you don't want to be

aroused, do not buy this book.
>> jimmy: Okay.

So you guys are going to do a
couple of songs when we come

back, and what songs are you
going to do?

Can you tell us?
>> we got a couple songs from

post pock limito.
I want to add in

♪ I need a hero
♪

♪ and you gotta be strong
♪ and you gotta be fresh

♪ I need a hero
>> jimmy: We will be back with

american heroes, jack and kyle,
tenacious d, when we return.

♪
>> dicky: The "jimmy kimmel

live" concert series is
presented by mercedes benz, the

best or nothing.
>>> the "jimmy kimmel live"

concert series is presented by
mercedes benz.

The best or nothing.
>> jimmy: Thanks to the gang

from "schitt's creek."
apologies to matt damon,

"nightline" is next, but first,
with not one but two songs from

their album, "post apocalypto,"
tenacious d.

♪
♪ save the world

g
jimmy kimmel.

It's up to you.
Check did out!

♪ save the world
save the world

you've got to
save the world ♪

♪ save the world all the boys
and girls

from around the world
you've got to ♪

♪ save the world
save the world ♪

♪
♪ apocalypto

fight to prevail
apocalypto

if we fight we cannot fail ♪
♪ got to find

that holy grail ♪
♪

♪ apocalypto
fight to survive

apocalypto got to
find some way to thrive ♪

♪ don't you
give us any jive ♪

♪
thank you, jimmy kimmel!

And thank you, guillermo.
We love you.