Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:16,281
♪
>>> this is an abc presentation.
2
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:21,754
>>> from hollywood, it's jimmy
kimmel live, tonight, charles
3
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:25,624
barkley, and music from the
chicks.
4
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:30,662
And now, jimmy kimmel.
>> jimmy: Hello, I'm jimmy.
5
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:38,504
Hey guess what?
I'm back.
6
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,873
We don't have an audience.
There used to be people in this
7
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,509
room, right?
This is our first show from our
8
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,211
studio since March.
Of 2018.
9
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:55,587
I've been at home, working on a
covid vaccine.
10
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,222
I'm very close.
And now, like the mcrib, I'm
11
00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:00,359
back.
It is weird being back in an
12
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,360
office after six months.
We're being very careful.
13
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,263
They divided the office into
zones.
14
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:10,736
We have zone a, zone b and zone
c.
15
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,005
I'm not sure if I'm hosting a
show or boarding a southwest
16
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,140
airlines flight.
Everyone is wearing masks and
17
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,842
those clear plastic face
shields.
18
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:21,747
Everyone looks like they're in a
daft punk cover band.
19
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:22,915
We have a small crew here in our
studio.
20
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:32,091
I need you guys to laugh, even
if its not funny.
21
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,325
Dnchlths -- I said I need you
guys.
22
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:39,298
This must be what kim jong un
feels like.
23
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,301
Is he still alive?
Or did he go when we were gone?
24
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,602
Remind me to call and check in
on him.
25
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,903
We have everything we need to do
a show.
26
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:50,509
Except, for my little
mustachioed angel.
27
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:58,117
Where is guillermo?
Isn't he supposed to be here?
28
00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:12,798
♪
♪
29
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:26,411
♪
>>> all right, that's enough.
30
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,080
All right.
Anyway, good to see you.
31
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,415
I miss you.
I really did.
32
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,718
How are you doing?
>> I'm doing great, jimmy.
33
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,853
Guillermo, who's happier that
you're back to work, you or your
34
00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:37,089
wife?
>> my wife.
35
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,659
>> all right, well, you know, I
don't know if you, did you
36
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,762
watch, I hosted the emmys last
night.
37
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:47,866
>> yeah, you did a wonderful
job.
38
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:50,769
>> thank you.
Did you see that lakers game
39
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:53,138
last night?
>> yes.
40
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:55,374
>> wait a minute, how did you
see the lakers game if I was
41
00:02:55,409 --> 00:03:00,112
hosting the maniys?
>> I tivo'ed the emmys and I was
42
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:10,022
watching the lakers.
>> I hosted the virtual emmys
43
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,223
last night.
They're saying it was the
44
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,392
highest-rated emmys ever.
The lowest?
45
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:14,560
Let's just put it this way, we
set a record.
46
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,528
We had a lot of fun, given the
difficult circumstances.
47
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:17,896
The weirdest part of hosting
this year was when it was over,
48
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:20,566
there are usually parties, and
everyone is carrying their emmys
49
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,601
around, and celebrating.
This year, the show ended, and
50
00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:26,872
it was like "well, I guess I'll
go to my car and drive home."
51
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:32,211
the big winners last night were
"schitt's creek," "watchmen,"
52
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,646
and the seahawks, I think.
Just like this, we had no
53
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,648
audience, so I had to figure out
how to do a monologue in front
54
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:42,588
of no one.
So what we did, if you missed
55
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:46,592
it, we took audience reactions
from old monologues and made it
56
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:50,529
seem like we had a big audience
full of celebrities, clapping
57
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,398
and laughing at new jokes.
And then we pulled the curtain
58
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,566
back and revealed there was no
one there.
59
00:03:54,602 --> 00:04:00,806
But while it was happening, we
fooled a lot of people.
60
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,875
Who thought I was on stage
who wasted no time denouncing
61
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,110
us.
"@jiommykimmel wtf?!
62
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:08,213
It may be that the presenters
aren't live but so far it looks
63
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,781
like the audience is.
What the hell is going on with
64
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:12,317
you kimmel?
No social distancing?
65
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:16,622
No masks?
You're as guilty as trump now
66
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,890
for fomenting death.
A pox on you and goodbye
67
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:25,297
forever.
Stupid ---"
68
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:26,164
here's another one.
"so no masks or social
69
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,366
distancing at the emmys
tonight??
70
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,001
Wtf??
Are hollywood's special people
71
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,336
immune against covid-19???
Or will the virus look at these
72
00:04:31,372 --> 00:04:34,339
special people and choose not to
infect them?
73
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:37,075
Double standards.
Guess that is #trump fault too."
74
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,911
and this --
"I can't believe @jimmykimmel
75
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,381
and the hollywood elitists think
rules don't apply to them.
76
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,117
A full audience?
No masks?
77
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:49,821
There's a pandemic!
The envelope sanitizing bit was
78
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:50,722
hilarious btw."
well, thank you.
79
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:56,561
Sorry to have caused any
consternation.
80
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:59,998
Doing an awards show, where all
the winners were at home, was a
81
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:02,834
strange experience.
It was probably the first time
82
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:06,705
in history that someone won an
emmy, and then, ten minutes
83
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,707
later put a load of laundry in
the dryer.
84
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:20,652
But we did learn a lot from
seeing the winners at home.
85
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:25,190
For instance jimmy -- jeremy
strong has been haunting a sears
86
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,458
portrait studio.
>>> we saw julia garner from
87
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,592
"ozark," almost forget to thank
her husband, even though he was
88
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:29,261
six inches away in a silk
bathrobe.
89
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,263
We learned where the cast of
"schitt's creek" eats dinner
90
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,465
before their very polite sex
parties.
91
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,801
>> jimmy: We learned that the
winner of best director lives in
92
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:43,842
a room at the marriott.
And we learned --
93
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,444
that the only person
socially-distancing in zendaya's
94
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:48,046
house, was zendaya.
We also raised $2.8 million, to
95
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:54,019
support no kid hungry.
So it was a big positive
96
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:55,821
overall.
The weekend itself, got off to a
97
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,524
very dark start.
Supreme court justice
98
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,560
ruth bader ginsburg passed away
Friday.
99
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:05,964
And the host of "celebrity
apprentice" wants to be the one
100
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:10,469
to replace her.
In an absolute, typhoon of
101
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:14,606
hypocrisy, republicans who
293 days before the end of
102
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:22,080
obama's term said it was too
late to nominate a new justice.
103
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:22,881
Now want to confirm one before
an election that is 43 days
104
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,116
away.
Trump is expected to announce
105
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:27,886
his pick on Friday or Saturday,
and he's doing a surprising
106
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:34,292
amount of research into who that
pick should be.
107
00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:38,029
>>> would you rather have a
woman, or the supreme court,
108
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:45,404
yes, woman?
Yes?
109
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:48,940
Tom tillis says yes.
So would you rather have a
110
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:54,846
woman, or would you rather have
a man on the supreme court?
111
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:59,818
Okay, what about a squirrel?
Who would like a squirrel on the
112
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,586
supreme court?
Now we're doing supreme court
113
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:05,323
justice gender reveals.
Trump says he's leaning towards
114
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:11,163
choosing a female judge.
And pay special attention to his
115
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:15,867
hands here, as he says it
smsh were to -- if somebody were
116
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,203
to ask me now, I would say that
a woman would be in first place.
117
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:23,542
Yes.
>> jimmy: Who does that?
118
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:27,946
His mouth is always lying, but
his little hands tell the truth.
119
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:30,482
Look at this.
This was from one of those covid
120
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:34,186
task force briefings he used to
do.
121
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:38,657
>> the professionals did the
models, I was never involved in
122
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:44,563
a model, but at least this kind
of a model.
123
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:50,135
He hears himself saying model
and he goes oooh.
124
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:50,969
The
only donald trump could get
125
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,237
horny talking about the
coronavirus.
126
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,839
The woman who is considered to
be the early frontrunner for the
127
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:59,144
nomination is from new orleans,
and she seems like an
128
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:02,447
interesting choice.
>> I am not antifa, I'm not a
129
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:06,551
sex slave that wears masks.
I'm not in to bond acknowledge.
130
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,654
Ma'am this is a pta meeting.
I don't know what that has to do
131
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:10,922
with anything.
I have to say, while I was on
132
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:15,527
vacation, I enjoyed not keeping
up with the minute by minute
133
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,362
lunacy coming out of the white
house every day.
134
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:22,501
But I kept a little tally.
This is just some of what he did
135
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:26,471
during my summer vacation.
June 17: The president claims he
136
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:30,609
made juneteenth famous.
June 18: Said he planned to give
137
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,778
kim jong un a cd of "rocketman."
June 20: Told administration to
138
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:37,249
"slow down" virus testing.
Accused obama of treason.
139
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:41,186
Claimed we have "hydrosonic"
missiles called "super dupers."
140
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,189
okay with russian bounties on
american soldiers.
141
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,125
Retweets supporter shouting
"white power!"
142
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,762
hosts 4th of July party no
masks.
143
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,397
Attacks nascar for banning
confederate flag.
144
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:55,166
July 9: Commutes roger stone
sentence, considered selling
145
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:59,271
puerto rico.
July 10: Claims he "aced"
146
00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:02,274
dementia test.
Claims obama played more golf
147
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,442
than him.
July 14: Niece says he paid
148
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:10,615
someone to take his sats.
July 15: Endorses beans.
149
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,050
July 28: Retweets doctor who
believes in demons.
150
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,252
July 31: Threatens to ban
tiktok.
151
00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:18,123
August 4: Calls yosemite
"yo-semite."
152
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:21,026
August 6: Calls thailand
"thigh-land."
153
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,062
August 8: Aide asks about adding
trump to mt. Rushmore.
154
00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:26,731
August 13: Sabotages the postal
service.
155
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:29,267
Promotes virus cure from
mypillow guy.
156
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:34,205
August 18: Girl scouts announce
new french toast-inspired
157
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,273
cookie.
August 22: Ordered to pay
158
00:09:35,309 --> 00:09:39,277
stormy daniels legal fees.
August 23: Tweets, "happy
159
00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:42,714
Sunday!
We want god!"
160
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:46,685
augus 31: Compares police
shootings to missed golf putts.
161
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:47,852
September 2: Encourages
supporters to vote twice.
162
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:51,856
We learn he called fallen
american soldiers "losers" and
163
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:55,560
"suckers."
confirmed by fox news reporter.
164
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:59,230
September 4: Attacks the fox
news reporter.
165
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:03,301
Okay with putin poisoning
opponent.
166
00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:05,937
September 8: Former lawyer says
he went to a golden shower sex
167
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,473
club.
September 15: Falsely denies
168
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:14,179
downplaying virus, falsely
claims he supports coverage for
169
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,448
pre-existing conditions, and
that he rebuilt the military,
170
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,551
and that he opposed the iraq
war.
171
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:22,520
Claims virus will go away
because we'll "develop a herd
172
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,789
mentality."
September 16: Kanye pees on a
173
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:28,393
grammy.
September 20: Retweets
174
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:33,298
appreciation that #fartingsound
is trending.
175
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:35,867
And tells a crowd in
north carolina that joe biden
176
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:44,476
injects performance- enhancing
drugs "in the ---"
177
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:51,182
>> jimmy, thank you, jimmy,
great job.
178
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,118
>> jimmy: And here we are today,
back to work.
179
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,586
Today, by the way, is
international peace day.
180
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:57,455
And how better to celebrate,
than with a nobel prize edition
181
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:10,568
of drunk donald trump?
>> I got the nobel peace prize
182
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:23,114
nomination, a peace prize nobel
nomination.
183
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,250
>> they are wearing mega masks.
>> jimmy: And one more thing.
184
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,053
While I was off, finding myself
and exploring my body, a number
185
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,555
of very talented people, filled
in for me as host of this show,
186
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:34,526
which I appreciate greatly.
Many of them had never hosted a
187
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:38,229
show before, but they did it.
They delivered monologues,
188
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:41,599
interviewed guests.
They put in a lot of work, so
189
00:11:41,635 --> 00:11:42,867
that I could get two flat tires
on a winnebago with my family.
190
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:47,105
And not only did they host the
show, afterwards, they signed a
191
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:50,809
book for me, and I thought you
might enjoy if I shared what
192
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:59,350
they wrote.
♪
193
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,087
♪ be our best
>>> dear jimmy, by the time you
194
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,656
read had this, I will be long
gone.
195
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:08,626
I'm just kidding, I moved in.
What's for lunch.
196
00:12:08,662 --> 00:12:15,834
>> dear jimmy, thanks for let
are me take over the show, you
197
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:19,003
had a good run sir.
But now it's kw live.
198
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:23,942
>> thank you for letting me
host, jimmy, it was a highlight
199
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:29,214
of my career.
I'm kidding of course, I have an
200
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,082
egot, it's like community
service for me.
201
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:33,585
Love john.
>> had this book is such a fun
202
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,888
idea.
I hope some day you learn how to
203
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,557
read it.
>> thanks for letting me guest
204
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:47,132
host, it was so fun.
And let me be clear I only did
205
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:49,968
it for fun.
I have so much will and grace
206
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:53,404
money I never have to work
again.
207
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:59,210
>> do not air this, it probably
sounds tone deaf.
208
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:08,086
Love you, sean.
>> dear james cordon.
209
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:12,657
Thank you.
I love doing your top ten.
210
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:18,029
>> dearest jimmy, I left soup
warming for you on the stove,
211
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:23,635
although I'm writing it in July,
if you eat it, you will die,
212
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,370
eliza.
>> from one icon to another,
213
00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:28,973
just wanted to say, thanks for
having me.
214
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,909
Billy.
>> this is a dream come true,
215
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:36,347
not a good dream.
One of the dreams you have after
216
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:41,953
taking ecstasy.
>> thank you again for paying me
217
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,756
in cash, you are paying in cash,
right?
218
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:49,294
We had a deal.
Don't punk out on me now.
219
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,530
>> so much fun staying here and
hosting.
220
00:13:52,566 --> 00:13:58,636
Could we get some nicer pillows.
I thought you were --
221
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:02,240
>> I am hosting a show in
hollywood while you are out
222
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:07,111
fishing in the country, what
kind of freaky Friday -- is
223
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:13,852
this?
Per your request, I did not
224
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:17,188
touch your 15 foot poster of
r-kelly.
225
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:29,300
>> making me do your job, and
then sign d it's a real white
226
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,203
privilege --
>> jimmy, had a great time, the
227
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:36,307
white house reached out and
informed me, it was the biggest
228
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:41,579
television audience of all time.
Sincerely --
229
00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:44,148
>> sara cooper.
>> thank you for the bravery you
230
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:50,488
have shown by allowing two
mexicans to be on your show at
231
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,689
once.
>> dear jimmy, I know you are
232
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:58,897
not going to read this, so, I
will just write gibberish,
233
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:01,032
pizza, robot, tuxedo donkey
fart.
234
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:05,136
>> jimmy, I left you a surprise,
wink.
235
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:11,342
In the cabinet, wink.
The reason I'm winking is
236
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:14,812
because the surprise, wink, is
marijuana.
237
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:19,717
It's good -- too.
You going to be high -- tonight.
238
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:24,322
>> dear, jimmy glad you had time
to rest are, and I hope your
239
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,926
breast reduction surgery went
well.
240
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,694
Love.
>> dearest jimmy, you told me I
241
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:36,067
was the only one hosting this
show.
242
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,635
For all of these other people in
the book.
243
00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:42,006
>> jimmy, hope you had a nice
relaxing summer and got a well
244
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,976
deserved chance to reach out and
find yourself.
245
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:54,085
Get back to work, you lazy --
love sam.
246
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,287
♪
>> thanks to each and every one
247
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,022
of our guest hosts this summer.
Tonight on the show, we have
248
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,557
music from the chicks, and we'll
be right back with
249
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:07,899
charles barkley.
♪
250
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:21,412
>> jimmy: Welcome back.
This is our first show back in
251
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:23,114
the studio after six months.
And we decided to change things
252
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:26,317
up.
We gave the set a retro feel.
253
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:32,490
We figured maybe it would feel
like any year but this one.
254
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:36,594
I do want to mention, and wish a
happy birthday tonight, to one
255
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:42,333
of the greatest men of all.
Bill murray, turns 70 today, and
256
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:48,873
even though I know without a
doubt that he is not watching.
257
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,008
I want to wish him well because
I love him.
258
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:51,909
So happy birthday bill.
Tonight, their album is called
259
00:16:51,945 --> 00:16:57,081
"gaslighter."
we have music and conversation
260
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:59,150
with the chicks .
Remotely of course.
261
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:03,888
Tomorrow night, fresh off their
historic, zamboni-like sweep of
262
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:07,992
the emmys, the cast of "schitt's
creek," catherine o'hara,
263
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,495
eugene levy, dan levy, and
annie murphy will be with us,
264
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:14,532
along with tenacious d.
And later this week, we keep it
265
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:19,037
going with riz ahmed,
norman reedus and tim mcgraw.
266
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,304
Please join us for all of that.
Our first guest is one of the
267
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,907
funniest men on tv, and he's not
even on a comedy show. He is
268
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,143
covering the western conference
finals on "inside the nba" for
269
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,678
tnt.
Please welcome, nba
270
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:31,716
hall-of-famer, sir
charles barkley.
271
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:34,852
>>> hi, charles.
>> what's up, jimmy?
272
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,687
>> how are you?
>> man, I'm doing good.
273
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:40,158
Welcome back off of vacation.
>> thanks, you know I love you
274
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:44,195
and I really was happy that you
agreed to be my first guest back
275
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:48,266
to help ease me back in to this,
so thank you very much.
276
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,569
>> hey, listen, so you were fly
fishing, huh?
277
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:56,374
>> I did go fly fishing, I know
you like to fish, do you fly
278
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,509
fish?
>> I have never been fly
279
00:17:58,545 --> 00:18:00,745
fishing.
You have to teach me how to fly
280
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,013
fish.
>> I would love to do that, just
281
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:05,450
the two of us in a boat alone,
would be something very special.
282
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,452
>> no.
No.
283
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:08,920
No.
We are not going a boat
284
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:12,523
together, brother.
No.
285
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:16,094
>> then the deal's off, I don't
know what to do.
286
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,696
We can wade, I guess we can
wade.
287
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:21,499
>> you know what?
I'm always up to learning new
288
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,733
things.
I have seen fly fishing.
289
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:27,171
I have heard about it, I know
I'm allowed to keep my feet on
290
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,140
land.
I like lakes and ponds, but I
291
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:32,643
have so much respect for you, I
will go, is it called wading?
292
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:37,448
>> yeah, wading, yeah, yeah.
>> why can't they call it
293
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:41,919
walking in water?
>> I don't know --
294
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:44,956
>> no, seriously.
>> they don't want to confuse it
295
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:46,157
with jesus, I think is what it
is.
296
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:48,926
So, charles, did you -- the
football game tonight, you know
297
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:55,032
the raiders are playing in vegas
now, and I'm curious, as to, as
298
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:59,237
an agent right, what would it
have been like if you had played
299
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:03,107
in las vegas, if your home games
were there, would that have
300
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,443
worked?
>> it would have worked for me.
301
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:10,648
It would have been a lot of fun.
You know, jimmy, listen, I love
302
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,250
to gamble.
And it would have been awesome
303
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:16,320
for me, I think, you know, it's
different depending on the sport
304
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,455
you play.
Because, you know, football
305
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:21,559
players go to work every day and
they are for like hours.
306
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:25,663
Like in basketball, we are off
until the next night.
307
00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:30,067
So, it probably would have been
really strange.
308
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:32,703
>> yeah.
>> I would have lost a lot of
309
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,506
money, I would have had a lot of
drunk nights.
310
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:39,644
>> did you, if your travels to
vegas, I know you enjoy las
311
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:43,848
vegas, did you go to shows?
Did you go see the big shows or
312
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,250
were you in the casino the whole
time?
313
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:50,321
>> you know, jimmy for the last
30 years, longer than that,
314
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:55,459
going to vegas, every time I go,
I say I'm going to go see a
315
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,028
show.
And 35 years later, I have never
316
00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:02,533
been to a show.
I get stuck at the black jack
317
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,035
table or the roulette wheel.
>> you, I bet you have had
318
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:08,806
some -- what was the best time
you had in vegas, anything pop
319
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:12,577
in your mind?
>> oh, I had the patriots one
320
00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:16,113
year, when seattle ran that
stupid pass from the one yard
321
00:20:16,149 --> 00:20:28,292
line instead of giving the ball
to marshawn liynch, it's the bet
322
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:32,363
place to watch a super bowl.
So, that is probably what I
323
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:36,601
thought was over for me, and the
guy called that awful play and
324
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:39,537
threw the interception at the
one yard line.
325
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,972
That was probably my favorite
trip to vegas.
326
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:43,274
>> really?
Why?
327
00:20:43,309 --> 00:20:45,476
Did you have money on the
patriots?
328
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:49,847
>> I had money on the patriots.
>> you did?
329
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,716
>> that's all football is good
for is betting.
330
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,353
>> have you ever called pete
carol to thank him for that
331
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:58,022
call?
>> I have not.
332
00:20:58,057 --> 00:21:04,095
You know, but jimmy, football is
my favorite sport, you have to
333
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:09,934
be a real man to play the sport.
You have to have the courage to
334
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,236
play the sport.
But every Sunday I'm in front of
335
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,405
the television with my bookie.
>> can you say your bookie's
336
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:19,010
name, just the first name?
>> oh, no, no, they got -- they
337
00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:21,646
will track people down.
You can't do that, jimmy, on
338
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:25,483
national television, man.
I'm not trying to get anybody
339
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,418
busted.
>> are you in the bubble right
340
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,687
now, charles?
I know you are not in orlando,
341
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:34,558
are you like staying home, not
going anywhere, following the
342
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:37,028
rules?
>> yeah, it sucks, jimmy, I will
343
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,896
be so glad when the playoffs are
over, man.
344
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:42,333
It's been hell, I have been
stuck in the atlanta bubble for
345
00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:44,902
two months now.
And my life sucks right now.
346
00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:49,240
I will be so glad when the next
two weeks are over.
347
00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:54,378
It's been awful.
>> now, when he was play ing koe
348
00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:57,915
bryant said that he loved
playing away games because he
349
00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:01,252
fed off of the negative energy
from the opposing crowd, does
350
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:04,255
you feel the same way?
>> there was only a couple of
351
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:06,857
people that were jackasses to me
really.
352
00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:12,463
And first of all, kobe should --
number one, rest in peace to one
353
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:13,664
of the greatest to ever do it.
>> yes.
354
00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:19,136
>> but listen, you know, when
they booing you on the road,
355
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:24,041
it's a sign of respect and
admiration because they don't
356
00:22:24,077 --> 00:22:27,478
boo the other guys on the team
who can't play, they only boo
357
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,980
the stars.
So if they are booing you as a
358
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:34,018
star, you should take that as a
real badge of courage.
359
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:35,086
Because, hey, they don't boo the
guys on the bench.
360
00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:39,824
They only boo the stars.
So, that's actually a great
361
00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:42,393
compliment.
>> there's a famous heckler, the
362
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:46,464
guy's name was robin something,
you know who I'm talking about?
363
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:50,301
>> yeah, robin ficker, he was
actually, I had a lot of respect
364
00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:54,905
for him.
Because he never cursed, and he
365
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:56,741
knew everything about every
player.
366
00:22:56,776 --> 00:23:01,379
And I had made the mistake, not
a mistake, but I had made a
367
00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:05,049
mistake of writing a couple of
books when I played, and he
368
00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:11,055
stand back there saying, you
can -- charles barkley said on
369
00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:15,393
page 72, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And the whole bench is laughing.
370
00:23:15,428 --> 00:23:20,464
The coach is laughing.
He was really, he was really
371
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,099
funny.
He was a good heckler, I'm not
372
00:23:22,135 --> 00:23:25,069
going to lie.
>> is it true that you flew him
373
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:29,840
to phoenix for the purpose to
have him heckle michael jordan?
374
00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:32,843
>> well, two things, number one,
no.
375
00:23:32,879 --> 00:23:35,513
>> no, okay.
>> but secondly, if you know
376
00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:39,450
michael jordan, you don't want
to piss him off.
377
00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:43,788
Yeah, you don't want to piss
michael off.
378
00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:48,859
I used to tell our fans, shh,
shh, don't upset this guy, he
379
00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:52,163
doesn't need any more
motivation.
380
00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:57,701
>> your first nab ba team, the
sixers honored you with a
381
00:23:57,737 --> 00:24:00,137
statue.
I'm curious if you get any say
382
00:24:00,173 --> 00:24:03,040
in what the statue looks like?
>> well, I have been very
383
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:08,179
fortunate to get two statues,
one with the sixers and one with
384
00:24:08,214 --> 00:24:10,648
my college at auburn.
I say make it skinny.
385
00:24:10,683 --> 00:24:12,917
That's all I got to say, make it
skinny.
386
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:14,185
>> is that the right thing to
do?
387
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:18,489
I was getting a statue, I would
say make it as fat as possible
388
00:24:18,524 --> 00:24:23,527
so when people see me in real
life, they say, oh, he looks
389
00:24:23,563 --> 00:24:29,300
great.
>> no, at the time they did the
390
00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:30,968
statues I was skinny.
I'm only fat now.
391
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:35,306
I used to be skinny.
I can't help it that I'm fat
392
00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:37,074
now, father time is taking its
toll on me.
393
00:24:37,109 --> 00:24:39,810
>> is it true that moses malone
used to get on you about your
394
00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:42,780
weight and he used to monitor
what you were eating?
395
00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:47,918
>> you know, he is the most
important in my basketball
396
00:24:47,954 --> 00:24:49,687
career.
I went to him one day, because I
397
00:24:49,722 --> 00:24:54,325
was not getting to play, and I
said, moses, why am I not
398
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,293
getting to play?
He said you fat and you lazy.
399
00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:57,728
I'm like, what, what do you
mean?
400
00:24:57,763 --> 00:25:02,366
He said, you are fat and lazy.
And this guy who is one of the
401
00:25:02,401 --> 00:25:06,837
best ever, took me under his
wing, jimmy and he made me lose
402
00:25:06,873 --> 00:25:09,707
50 pounds, and made me a great
player.
403
00:25:09,742 --> 00:25:13,711
But a couple of times, we lived
in the same building.
404
00:25:13,746 --> 00:25:16,680
>> uh-huh.
>> he had told the security
405
00:25:16,716 --> 00:25:19,683
people, any time I order pizza
to call him.
406
00:25:19,719 --> 00:25:23,153
So like on two or three
different occasions, I ordered
407
00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:26,690
pizza and the next thing I know
I'm getting all excited for my
408
00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:30,761
pizza and there's a big old
6'10" guy knocking on the door
409
00:25:30,796 --> 00:25:33,163
with my pizza in his hand and he
is already eating it.
410
00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:38,569
So that was not a lot of fun for
me.
411
00:25:38,604 --> 00:25:39,803
>> very considerate of moses to
eat your pizza.
412
00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:45,442
Are you still hitting the
krispy-kreme doughnuts in
413
00:25:45,478 --> 00:25:47,244
atlanta?
>> oh, yeah, I'm telling you
414
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:52,016
jimmy, when you drive by the
sign and it says hot, your car
415
00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:54,752
just goes there, man.
It should be illegal.
416
00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:59,023
>> it should be illegal.
>> hey, I try to avoid it, if
417
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:04,461
for some reason, I think every
time I go there, the hot sign is
418
00:26:04,497 --> 00:26:08,499
on, and I cannot resist the hot
sign.
419
00:26:08,534 --> 00:26:09,833
>> we will be right back with
charles barkley.
420
00:26:18,811 --> 00:26:21,145
>>> I'll bet every dime I got on
in the world on the lakers this
421
00:26:21,180 --> 00:26:22,212
series.
Guaranteed.
422
00:26:22,248 --> 00:26:26,717
I will go and get, seriously,
I'm not even joking.
423
00:26:26,752 --> 00:26:31,922
I will take, I will bet,
whatever.
424
00:26:31,958 --> 00:26:33,624
Any amount of money, I'm taking
the lakers.
425
00:26:33,659 --> 00:26:37,661
>> you don't need michael
malone, I'm with you, chuck.
426
00:26:37,697 --> 00:26:39,897
>> he is acting like we care who
wins.
427
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,165
Everyone picked the clippers
beat them.
428
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,869
I picked them to beat the jazz,
but everyone picked them to lose
429
00:26:45,905 --> 00:26:49,006
to the clippers.
If they want motivation, I'm
430
00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:52,476
guaranteeing the lakers going to
kick they ass.
431
00:26:52,511 --> 00:26:56,647
>> we are back with charles
barkley, who is in atlanta, who
432
00:26:56,682 --> 00:27:01,752
is standing by, and charles, is
mike malone your bookie, did we
433
00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:04,955
discover the identity of the
mysterious bookie?
434
00:27:04,991 --> 00:27:09,393
>> hey, you know, mike malone
has done a terrific job with the
435
00:27:09,428 --> 00:27:13,230
young nuggets, what they
accomplished coming back from
436
00:27:13,265 --> 00:27:15,399
3-1 in the first series is
incredible.
437
00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:17,434
These guys act like we care who
going to win.
438
00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:21,905
Like we get paid to pick a team.
I never care who's going to win.
439
00:27:21,941 --> 00:27:25,609
>> never?
>> but can -- never.
440
00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:27,344
Never going care who is going to
win.
441
00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:31,415
You know I just want it to be
over so I can go fishing with
442
00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:33,350
you.
Listen --
443
00:27:33,386 --> 00:27:35,719
>> even, do you have any friends
on any of the teams?
444
00:27:35,755 --> 00:27:39,390
You have a particular liking for
that you want them to win or it
445
00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:42,559
doesn't matter?
>> no, I'm too old for these
446
00:27:42,595 --> 00:27:44,294
guys.
Most of these guys, hey, most of
447
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:48,399
these guys were not even born
when I was playing.
448
00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:50,634
>> wow.
>> so they think, they think I'm
449
00:27:50,670 --> 00:27:52,536
the guy on tv.
They don't even realize I
450
00:27:52,571 --> 00:27:58,042
actually played back in the day.
>> if lebron wins with a third
451
00:27:58,077 --> 00:28:02,112
team, does he deserve to be
spoken about in the same breath
452
00:28:02,148 --> 00:28:06,750
as michael jordan?
>> well, I have said this, if
453
00:28:06,786 --> 00:28:11,855
they win a championship, I might
put him with kobe bryant, in my
454
00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:16,560
opinion, lebron is a great,
great player and a great, great
455
00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:20,864
man.
I got him one slip behind kobe
456
00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:24,902
bryant, I do.
Now, if he wins this year.
457
00:28:24,937 --> 00:28:27,137
I might put him on the same
level with kobe.
458
00:28:27,173 --> 00:28:29,740
But until he wins another
championship, in my opinion, he
459
00:28:29,775 --> 00:28:33,677
has not passed kobe bryant.
But because of all the bubble
460
00:28:33,713 --> 00:28:37,981
and all the stuff that's
happened this year, this will be
461
00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:41,251
a great accomplishment, so I
might flip flop him and kobe.
462
00:28:41,287 --> 00:28:45,856
>> wow, you think this year will
be a greater accomplishment than
463
00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:47,791
winning a typical regular season
title?
464
00:28:47,827 --> 00:28:51,929
>> yeah, you know, first of all,
all these parents out here been
465
00:28:51,964 --> 00:28:56,500
at home with they bad ass kids
for the last three or four
466
00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:58,235
months.
So, they have learned how bad
467
00:28:58,270 --> 00:29:00,471
their kids were.
That's the first thing.
468
00:29:00,506 --> 00:29:05,709
And secondly, these guys been
stuck in the bubble, not being
469
00:29:05,745 --> 00:29:08,078
able to leave for two to three
months.
470
00:29:08,114 --> 00:29:11,815
That's a great accomplishment,
if you can deal with your kids
471
00:29:11,851 --> 00:29:15,919
for 3 or 4 months being at home
with them every day, then get
472
00:29:15,955 --> 00:29:18,455
shipped to the bubble for two or
three months and be stuck around
473
00:29:18,491 --> 00:29:23,727
the same people, and not be able
to get out eating that same food
474
00:29:23,763 --> 00:29:24,995
every day.
That's a great accomplishment.
475
00:29:25,030 --> 00:29:29,700
>> all right, all right, one
last krispy-kreme question, what
476
00:29:29,735 --> 00:29:32,870
is the most you have eaten in
one sitting?
477
00:29:32,905 --> 00:29:39,143
>> well, one day I ate a dozen,
but I broke it out throughout
478
00:29:39,178 --> 00:29:41,912
the day, jimmy.
>> okay, all right.
479
00:29:41,947 --> 00:29:44,548
>> I ate breakfast, lunch, and
dinner.
480
00:29:44,583 --> 00:29:46,517
>> all right.
>> I didn't want to eat all 12
481
00:29:46,552 --> 00:29:51,155
of them at the same time, but I
broke it up in to breakfast
482
00:29:51,190 --> 00:29:52,723
lunch and dinner.
>> I like that one, it shows a
483
00:29:52,758 --> 00:29:56,693
lot of self discipline.
Charles barkley, thank you so
484
00:29:56,729 --> 00:30:00,898
much, the nba, western
conference finals, game 3,
485
00:30:00,933 --> 00:30:02,766
lakers verse nuggets tomorrow
night, thank you, charles, we
486
00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:10,641
will be back with the chicks.
>>> tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel
487
00:30:10,676 --> 00:30:18,682
live" the award-winning cast of
"schitt's creek."
488
00:30:18,717 --> 00:30:25,656
plus, music from tenacious d..
Plus, music from tenacious d..
489
00:30:25,691 --> 00:30:26,190
That's tomorrow on "jimmy kimmel
live."
490
00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:44,808
♪
>>> I'm putting out my fake
491
00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:46,009
cigarette, welcome back.
Between them, our next guests
492
00:30:46,045 --> 00:30:49,646
have 13 grammys, 9 children and,
hopefully, 3 very strong
493
00:30:49,682 --> 00:30:51,882
internet connections.
They're back with a new name and
494
00:30:51,917 --> 00:30:55,986
their first album in 14 years.
It's called "gaslighter."
495
00:30:56,021 --> 00:30:59,623
say hello to natalie maines,
emily strayer and
496
00:30:59,658 --> 00:31:03,760
martie maguire, aka "the
chicks."
497
00:31:03,796 --> 00:31:05,662
>>> hello, ladies.
>> hi.
498
00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:08,265
>> hi.
>> how are you?
499
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:10,267
>> good.
>> we are great, how are you?
500
00:31:10,302 --> 00:31:12,369
>> very good to see you.
I'm doing well.
501
00:31:12,404 --> 00:31:18,575
Is it --
>> is that cigarette real?
502
00:31:18,611 --> 00:31:19,476
>> no, it's not real.
[ laughter ]
503
00:31:19,511 --> 00:31:21,912
>> it's a pretend disney
cigarette, yes.
504
00:31:21,947 --> 00:31:24,314
>> how is everything going?
You know, I heard charles
505
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:30,554
barkley is a fan of your band.
>> well, you should have asked
506
00:31:30,589 --> 00:31:34,458
me, I mean, our memory he seems
to be a fan.
507
00:31:34,493 --> 00:31:39,096
We played a show in, I guess it
was arizona right?
508
00:31:39,131 --> 00:31:47,104
>> he doesn't go to shows,
usually, he stays in the -- in
509
00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:50,073
casino the whole time.
This is big.
510
00:31:50,109 --> 00:31:52,776
>> we are proving, that is big
news.
511
00:31:52,811 --> 00:31:57,648
We were doing a stadium tour, I
think with the eagles and we
512
00:31:57,683 --> 00:32:01,251
opened for the eagles and we
played the whole show, and I am
513
00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:06,823
watching -- I'm doing the show
watching this man on the front
514
00:32:06,859 --> 00:32:10,961
row, knowing every word.
So in to it and we got off stage
515
00:32:10,996 --> 00:32:13,797
and I was like, did you, emily,
did you see who was right in
516
00:32:13,832 --> 00:32:17,901
front of you?
Charles barkley.
517
00:32:17,937 --> 00:32:22,005
And he knew every word.
>> wow.
518
00:32:22,041 --> 00:32:26,076
>> that's pretty great.
And you didn't talk to him back
519
00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:28,378
stage?
>> he didn't come back stage.
520
00:32:28,414 --> 00:32:32,616
>> he was just there.
>> it was really him.
521
00:32:32,651 --> 00:32:34,284
>> well, we will go with it
either way.
522
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:38,388
>> you change your name and the
dixie chicks, it was a good
523
00:32:38,424 --> 00:32:40,924
name, but the chicks is a great
band name.
524
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,727
>> I like it.
>> it's true.
525
00:32:43,762 --> 00:32:47,631
>> it's a strong name fumpt had
come out as "the chicks," that
526
00:32:47,666 --> 00:32:49,499
would have been a great start
just to begin with.
527
00:32:49,535 --> 00:32:50,667
>> we should have.
We should have done that.
528
00:32:50,703 --> 00:32:54,771
>> we should have done that.
>> well, you can't really go
529
00:32:54,807 --> 00:32:58,375
back in time.
>> if only you had been there to
530
00:32:58,410 --> 00:32:59,943
tell us.
>> your new album is produced by
531
00:32:59,979 --> 00:33:04,214
jack antinoff, which is
interesting to me, because
532
00:33:04,249 --> 00:33:06,950
typically he produces pop music,
his own bands and he has worked
533
00:33:06,986 --> 00:33:12,889
with taylor swift and a few
other artists, I think, saint
534
00:33:12,925 --> 00:33:14,057
vincent, how did you wind up
with jack?
535
00:33:14,093 --> 00:33:21,565
>> so, I met jack, jimmy, at
howard's birthday party.
536
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,701
>> at howard stern's birthday.
Oh, yeah, yeah, jack was there.
537
00:33:24,737 --> 00:33:26,303
Wow.
>> so his table was near mine,
538
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:31,441
and he said, hey, do you want
to -- I was in a studio space
539
00:33:31,477 --> 00:33:33,777
right by my apartment and he
said, hey, do you want to come
540
00:33:33,812 --> 00:33:36,980
to the studio tomorrow and we
can write and work on something
541
00:33:37,016 --> 00:33:39,716
and I didn't really want to do
that, but I wanted to see how he
542
00:33:39,752 --> 00:33:41,618
worked and how he the does his
thing.
543
00:33:41,653 --> 00:33:47,324
So I went it was great.
And I did sing a song on a
544
00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:49,693
bleachers album.
But yeah, when we started this
545
00:33:49,728 --> 00:33:53,230
album, we thought we were going
to write and be produced bay lot
546
00:33:53,265 --> 00:33:57,801
of different producers.
And we started that way, but by
547
00:33:57,836 --> 00:34:03,340
the fourth meeting, our meeting
was with jack and I told marti
548
00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:10,747
and emily, you guys are going to
love him.
549
00:34:10,783 --> 00:34:12,082
And we tend to --
>> did you love him?
550
00:34:12,117 --> 00:34:16,686
>> he was like a little brother.
Like just this energy that you
551
00:34:16,722 --> 00:34:18,688
realize that you need after 14
years.
552
00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:23,427
We needed some of that energy.
And he plays everything under
553
00:34:23,462 --> 00:34:24,861
the sun.
And to have a musician in the
554
00:34:24,897 --> 00:34:27,664
studio like that and to be able
to try new things, we are coming
555
00:34:27,699 --> 00:34:31,168
from a place of we don't know
what we want to do right now,
556
00:34:31,203 --> 00:34:35,305
it's been so long.
We wanted to be us, but we want
557
00:34:35,340 --> 00:34:38,442
to --
>> you want to evolve, right.
558
00:34:38,477 --> 00:34:41,244
>> first person to explore with.
>> and your clothes are falling
559
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:45,348
off as we speak.
>> I'm sorry.
560
00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:48,251
>> that's what jack does to her
had.
561
00:34:48,287 --> 00:34:50,654
>> I am wearing nice overalls
for you.
562
00:34:50,689 --> 00:34:52,522
>> you sent a video, before I
show the video, which which I
563
00:34:52,558 --> 00:35:01,731
very much want to do.
Give us a set up for this video.
564
00:35:01,767 --> 00:35:07,137
>> first of all, we are too old,
anything that you can dig up
565
00:35:07,172 --> 00:35:11,174
from the past, we will hand it
to you on a silver platter.
566
00:35:11,210 --> 00:35:17,013
>> you did hand it to us, yes.
>> we, back in the early 90s, we
567
00:35:17,049 --> 00:35:20,584
would take corporate gigs and
this was our first corporate gig
568
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:23,620
with natalie, and we got paid a
lot of money.
569
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:25,589
Like maybe a few hundred
dollars.
570
00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:32,028
>> uh-huh.
>> to go to florida and stay in
571
00:35:32,064 --> 00:35:35,732
the fanciest hotel that we have
ever stayed in, the only catch
572
00:35:35,767 --> 00:35:40,036
was, we were playing a quaker
steak convention, and we had to
573
00:35:40,072 --> 00:35:48,111
wear what they wanted us to
wear, and sing quaker steak
574
00:35:48,147 --> 00:35:52,182
lyrics to songs.
>> and now we have the video.
575
00:35:52,217 --> 00:35:56,219
♪
♪ hey, they must be curious
576
00:35:56,255 --> 00:35:59,089
about getting their brand on
this territory, they are getting
577
00:35:59,124 --> 00:36:08,765
women in the outfit.
>> no branding new sales.
578
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:20,777
Together.
♪
579
00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:27,017
♪
they are branding new sales ♪
580
00:36:27,052 --> 00:36:30,053
>> they are branding new sales.
>> well, you have come a long
581
00:36:30,088 --> 00:36:33,890
way, this is the new album.
What song are you going to play
582
00:36:33,926 --> 00:36:37,160
for us tonight?
Sleep at night.
583
00:36:37,196 --> 00:36:42,933
>> all right, "gaslighter" --
>> not going to be as good as
584
00:36:42,968 --> 00:36:47,304
that performance, we tried.
>> we will be right back.
585
00:36:47,339 --> 00:36:54,578
Thank you, ladies.
>>> the jimmy kimmel concert
586
00:37:09,194 --> 00:37:13,230
series is brought to you by:
Act 6 >> jimmy: I'd like to
587
00:37:13,265 --> 00:37:14,331
thank charles barkley.
Apologies to matt damon.
588
00:37:14,366 --> 00:37:16,299
"nightline" is next but first,
their album is called
589
00:37:16,335 --> 00:37:17,033
"gaslighter."
here with the song "sleep at
590
00:37:17,069 --> 00:37:33,984
night," the chicks!
♪
591
00:37:34,019 --> 00:37:41,024
♪ not that you asked
but I'm getting
592
00:37:41,059 --> 00:37:45,095
past everything
everything ♪
593
00:37:45,130 --> 00:37:51,501
♪ I'm doing okay
just glad it's not yesterday
594
00:37:51,536 --> 00:37:53,536
huh
my husband's girlfriend's ♪
595
00:37:53,572 --> 00:37:56,039
♪ husband just called me up
how messed up is that
596
00:37:56,074 --> 00:38:00,110
it's so insane that
I have to laugh ♪
597
00:38:00,145 --> 00:38:03,680
♪ but then I think about
our two boys trying
598
00:38:03,715 --> 00:38:08,318
to become men
there's nothing funny ♪
599
00:38:08,353 --> 00:38:13,490
♪ about that
how do you sleep at night
600
00:38:13,525 --> 00:38:21,798
how do you tell those lies
lookin' me in the eye ♪
601
00:38:21,833 --> 00:38:26,069
♪ livin' a double life
tell me how do you
602
00:38:26,104 --> 00:38:30,206
sleep at night
how do you sleep at night ♪
603
00:38:30,242 --> 00:38:36,012
♪ you're only as sick
as your secrets
604
00:38:36,048 --> 00:38:43,887
so I'm telling everything
half of the --- ♪
605
00:38:43,922 --> 00:38:50,193
♪ you won't believe
but I know it's not
606
00:38:50,228 --> 00:38:52,329
unique to me
remember you brought her ♪
607
00:38:52,364 --> 00:38:55,165
♪ to our show at
the hollywood bowl
608
00:38:55,200 --> 00:39:01,171
she said I love you
I'm such a fan ♪
609
00:39:01,206 --> 00:39:03,907
♪ I joked that you can
love me as long as
610
00:39:03,942 --> 00:39:05,675
you don't love my man
there's nothin' funny ♪
611
00:39:05,711 --> 00:39:13,383
♪ about that
how do you sleep at night
612
00:39:13,418 --> 00:39:22,058
how do you tell those lies
lookin' me in the eye ♪
613
00:39:22,094 --> 00:39:25,829
♪ livin' a double life
tell me how do you
614
00:39:25,864 --> 00:39:27,964
sleep at night
how do you sleep at night ♪
615
00:39:27,999 --> 00:39:32,235
♪ so caught up in your story
you don't care what
616
00:39:32,270 --> 00:39:38,308
you're ruining
so caught up in your story ♪
617
00:39:38,343 --> 00:39:53,356
♪ but you don't care
how do you sleep at night
618
00:39:53,392 --> 00:39:58,895
how do you tell those lies
lookin' me in the eye ♪
619
00:39:58,930 --> 00:40:02,999
♪ livin' a double life
tell me how do you
620
00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:07,103
sleep at night
how do you sleep at night ♪
621
00:40:07,139 --> 00:40:13,376
♪ oh oh
how do you tell those lies
622
00:40:13,412 --> 00:40:21,117
how do you tell those lies
lookin' me in the eye ♪
623
00:40:21,153 --> 00:40:23,486
♪ livin' a double life
tell me how do you
624
00:40:23,522 --> 00:40:29,159
sleep at night
how do you sleep at night ♪
625
00:40:29,194 --> 00:40:50,046
♪
♪
56710
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof