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- BOB: Okay, who wants eggs?
- TINA: Yes, please.
2
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- LOUISE: Yes, hurry it up.
- Gene? Where's Gene?
3
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I think he was getting ready to do
4
00:00:25,868 --> 00:00:27,108
a performance of The Gene Show.
5
00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:28,543
Oh, right. The Gene Show.
6
00:00:28,568 --> 00:00:29,858
Um, do you think he wants eggs?
7
00:00:29,883 --> 00:00:31,803
Does this answer your question?
8
00:00:31,828 --> 00:00:34,057
? Five hundred twenty-five thousand ?
9
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? Six hundred eggs! ?
10
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I'll take that as a yes.
11
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Do you kids want scrambled or fried?
12
00:00:38,761 --> 00:00:39,971
- Scrambled, please.
- Fried.
13
00:00:40,010 --> 00:00:42,640
Does this answer your question?
Scrambly, scrambly, scrambly,
14
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,406
- scrambly, scrambly, scrambly...
- Yep. Got it.
15
00:00:44,431 --> 00:00:47,438
Oh! Oh! Oh, what'd I miss? Did
The Gene Show already start?
16
00:00:47,463 --> 00:00:49,520
So far he's done one song
and one performance piece
17
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,690
- as a scrambled egg.
- Darn it!
18
00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:53,770
But don't worry, Mother,
as a special treat
19
00:00:53,795 --> 00:00:55,585
for our audience today, I am offering
20
00:00:55,610 --> 00:00:57,834
exclusive Gene Show merch.
21
00:00:57,859 --> 00:00:59,965
- Is that my shirt?
- It can be, for four dollars.
22
00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:02,160
I'll take it! I love The Gene Show.
23
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,070
It's like having world-class
entertainment right here in our home.
24
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,330
- I enjoy it.
- You know what I think is entertaining?
25
00:01:07,355 --> 00:01:08,501
- (high-pitched): Aah!
- That.
26
00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:11,186
I-I-I don't like that,
when you poke my love handles.
27
00:01:11,210 --> 00:01:13,000
LOUISE: You're starting to like it.
28
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,975
Gene, look, I'm a fan of all
your performing stuff, too,
29
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,710
especially up here in the apartment.
30
00:01:17,735 --> 00:01:20,865
Down in the restaurant, it
can be a little... you know.
31
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:22,445
No. What are you trying to say?
32
00:01:22,470 --> 00:01:24,510
Yeah. What are you trying to say?
33
00:01:24,535 --> 00:01:27,040
I'm just saying, sometimes less is more.
34
00:01:27,065 --> 00:01:28,655
Wrong! Less is never more!
35
00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,060
Just ask Al Pacino and mayonnaise!
36
00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:33,640
- (high-pitched): Aah!
- Huh. That lives up to the hype.
37
00:01:34,639 --> 00:01:35,973
BOB: Teddy, do you
want fries with that?
38
00:01:35,998 --> 00:01:38,479
Uh, no, thanks. Trying to stay slim.
39
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,150
Really? I mean, right, sure.
40
00:01:40,205 --> 00:01:41,685
(sniffs) Wait a minute.
41
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:44,490
- Teddy, are you wearing cologne?
- Me? No!
42
00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:46,450
(sniffs) It's Thundersports Body Spray.
43
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:49,070
LOUISE: If it's a spray and
it goes on boys, Tina knows it.
44
00:01:49,095 --> 00:01:51,653
Teddy, is there something...
Or someone...
45
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,332
You haven't told us about?
46
00:01:53,357 --> 00:01:56,364
What? No. No. No. No.
47
00:01:56,389 --> 00:01:58,146
Okay, yes. Yeah, I've
been spending a lot of time
48
00:01:58,170 --> 00:01:59,590
around Kathleen lately.
49
00:01:59,630 --> 00:02:02,090
Aw. The Irish lady from
that apartment building?
50
00:02:02,130 --> 00:02:04,130
- That's great, Teddy.
- Yeah, she got a new job
51
00:02:04,180 --> 00:02:06,177
as the accountant for
a local theater company,
52
00:02:06,202 --> 00:02:08,091
The Happy Mask Sad Mask Players,
53
00:02:08,116 --> 00:02:10,286
and she asked me to help them
out with their latest play.
54
00:02:10,311 --> 00:02:11,930
They want me to build the whole set
55
00:02:11,955 --> 00:02:13,875
using old wood from past productions
56
00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:15,455
and, like, six nails.
57
00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,470
Turns out theater companies
don't make much money.
58
00:02:17,495 --> 00:02:19,809
Papa, do we work at a theater company?
59
00:02:19,834 --> 00:02:21,110
- Louise.
- Also, there's a little drama
60
00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:24,520
in their drama, 'cause
yesterday the one kid in the play
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00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,544
left the production to
shoot a shampoo commercial.
62
00:02:26,569 --> 00:02:28,022
Eh, you should've seen his hair, though.
63
00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:30,047
- It was like a field of wheat.
- Damn.
64
00:02:30,072 --> 00:02:32,608
Now they're holding emergency
auditions for a replacement.
65
00:02:32,633 --> 00:02:34,409
The show opens in two days.
66
00:02:34,449 --> 00:02:36,458
(gasps) Maybe Gene should
audition for that part!
67
00:02:36,483 --> 00:02:39,709
He's always entertaining people.
Maybe he's destined to be a...
68
00:02:39,749 --> 00:02:41,629
(gasps) theater person!
69
00:02:41,669 --> 00:02:43,097
Mm, I don't know.
70
00:02:43,122 --> 00:02:45,138
I mean, is what Gene does theater?
71
00:02:45,163 --> 00:02:48,466
Hi. Can I get you anything
else? Maybe one of these?
72
00:02:48,491 --> 00:02:50,219
? Jiggly, jiggly,
jiggly, jiggly... ?
73
00:02:50,266 --> 00:02:52,552
He's a natural! What's the role, Teddy?
74
00:02:52,577 --> 00:02:54,606
- Well, it's small, but it's...
- He'll do it!
75
00:02:54,631 --> 00:02:56,051
Wait, Lin, you don't even know
76
00:02:56,076 --> 00:02:57,666
if this something Gene wants to do.
77
00:02:57,691 --> 00:02:59,311
If what is something I want to do?
78
00:02:59,336 --> 00:03:01,935
Teddy was just asking if
you want to be in a play.
79
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,692
Does this answer your question?
? Jiggly, jiggly... ?
80
00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:06,255
Okay, well, I'm glad you're excited.
81
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,950
It's just, you realize you
still have to audition, right?
82
00:03:08,975 --> 00:03:11,765
Not a problem. Can another kid do this?
83
00:03:12,036 --> 00:03:14,496
- Gene, stop. We have customers.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
84
00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:15,724
So talented!
85
00:03:15,749 --> 00:03:17,709
This counts as me mopping.
86
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,188
? ?
87
00:03:19,424 --> 00:03:21,685
Aw. A tiny theater.
88
00:03:21,693 --> 00:03:23,816
Full of big dreams. And a weird smell.
89
00:03:23,841 --> 00:03:25,273
Follow me. I'll take you backstage.
90
00:03:25,313 --> 00:03:27,818
That's theater speak
for "behind the stage."
91
00:03:27,843 --> 00:03:28,653
Ooh.
92
00:03:28,693 --> 00:03:30,919
Oh, hey, Teddy. Did
you bring some friends?
93
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,412
Kathleen! Hi.
94
00:03:32,437 --> 00:03:33,928
I mean, hey.
95
00:03:33,953 --> 00:03:36,493
I mean, hi. (chuckles nervously)
I mean, hey.
96
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:38,953
Uh, you remember Linda and Gene Burger.
97
00:03:39,003 --> 00:03:42,098
- Oh, yeah. How are you?
- Great to see you, Kathleen!
98
00:03:42,123 --> 00:03:43,833
I hear you're the new accountant here.
99
00:03:43,883 --> 00:03:45,923
Yeah. I get to see all
the free shows I want.
100
00:03:45,963 --> 00:03:47,633
Unfortunately, they're at this theater.
101
00:03:47,673 --> 00:03:49,553
(giggles) Eh, I'm kidding.
102
00:03:49,593 --> 00:03:51,883
Consider me The Phantom
of the Spreadsheet.
103
00:03:51,923 --> 00:03:53,512
(laughing loudly)
104
00:03:53,513 --> 00:03:55,415
- Sorry.
- Not much cash flow, though.
105
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:56,603
I don't even need a calculator.
106
00:03:56,643 --> 00:03:58,392
This is a fingers-only kind of deal.
107
00:03:58,417 --> 00:04:01,143
(laughs loudly, sighs)
108
00:04:01,183 --> 00:04:02,353
(quietly): Easy, Teddy.
109
00:04:02,393 --> 00:04:06,470
Hello. So, you're Gene? The young
thespian Teddy was talking about?
110
00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:08,174
And I'm his mom, Linda.
111
00:04:08,199 --> 00:04:10,489
Hellooo. That was a theater hello.
112
00:04:10,522 --> 00:04:12,166
I'm Donovan, the director.
113
00:04:12,191 --> 00:04:13,771
Let's knock this audition out quick.
114
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:16,933
It's tech week, and on top of losing
an actor, I just lost a stagehand.
115
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,980
Ironically, he got a job at Foot Locker.
116
00:04:19,005 --> 00:04:21,586
I love the high-intensity environment!
117
00:04:21,626 --> 00:04:24,198
I can't imagine what it's like
when you have a packed house.
118
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,722
(chuckles) That's very funny.
119
00:04:26,747 --> 00:04:28,257
We never have a packed house.
120
00:04:28,282 --> 00:04:30,042
We've sold seven tickets for this show.
121
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:31,745
Seven? That's like eight!
122
00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,292
Oh, wait, that's still not good.
123
00:04:33,347 --> 00:04:35,817
No one goes to local theater.
I probably should have listened
124
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,776
to my father and gone
into something safe.
125
00:04:37,801 --> 00:04:40,042
He owned a safe company
called Something Safe.
126
00:04:40,067 --> 00:04:41,447
Let's do this, shall we?
127
00:04:41,487 --> 00:04:43,133
You're gonna be great.
Now, I'm gonna give you
128
00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:44,367
ten kisses real quick.
129
00:04:44,392 --> 00:04:46,017
(grunting, stammering)
130
00:04:46,042 --> 00:04:47,002
Okay, okay. Go, go.
131
00:04:47,027 --> 00:04:47,987
(clears throat)
132
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:50,157
Gene Belcher. American boy.
133
00:04:50,197 --> 00:04:52,751
Special skills include
sassy sounds, smooth skin,
134
00:04:52,776 --> 00:04:55,127
- (deep voice): heavy bones.
- Just start anytime, please.
135
00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:57,037
Right. Okay. For my audition today,
136
00:04:57,087 --> 00:05:00,007
I will be doing the fight scene
from Mechagodzilla vs. Mothra,
137
00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:02,417
- set to an original funky beat.
- Stop.
138
00:05:02,442 --> 00:05:04,312
Stop. You know this
isn't a musical, right?
139
00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:06,637
It's the American classic,
A Potluck in the Grass
140
00:05:06,677 --> 00:05:10,427
by Alabama O'Callahan,
which you hopefully read?
141
00:05:10,467 --> 00:05:12,387
Oh. Um, pssh, yeah.
142
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,347
Which character am I
auditioning for again?
143
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,513
Quiet Eli. You know what?
144
00:05:15,538 --> 00:05:17,591
Why don't you just
say this line for me...
145
00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:20,130
"Gosh, mister, those
beans smell delicious."
146
00:05:20,155 --> 00:05:22,422
(high-pitched): Gosh, mister,
those beans smell delicious.
147
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,067
- Great. Not that.
- (booming voice): Gosh, mister,
148
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,972
those beans smell delicious!
149
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:30,197
- Okay. Not that, either.
- What about this? Damn, girl,
150
00:05:30,237 --> 00:05:32,577
that pad Thai smells yum-my!
151
00:05:32,617 --> 00:05:33,747
- What?
- What?
152
00:05:33,772 --> 00:05:35,498
- Why did you say that?
- Why did I say what?
153
00:05:35,523 --> 00:05:37,113
Why did you say "pad Thai"?
154
00:05:37,138 --> 00:05:38,558
I thought I'd switch it up.
155
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:40,432
Also, doesn't pad Thai
sound good right now?
156
00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:41,507
Please say the line.
157
00:05:41,547 --> 00:05:45,047
All right. Gosh, mister,
those beans smell delicious,
158
00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:47,887
even though I'd rather
have some pad Thai!
159
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,218
You know what? I think we're done.
160
00:05:49,257 --> 00:05:50,467
Wait. Really?
161
00:05:50,507 --> 00:05:51,847
Did I get the part?
162
00:05:51,872 --> 00:05:53,112
Um, I said we're done,
163
00:05:53,137 --> 00:05:55,227
which is something we say in the theater
164
00:05:55,252 --> 00:05:56,832
when we are done...
165
00:05:56,912 --> 00:05:58,162
with you.
166
00:05:58,187 --> 00:06:01,147
LINDA: Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
167
00:06:01,187 --> 00:06:03,567
(singsongy): You were incredible.
168
00:06:03,607 --> 00:06:05,197
Pretty good.
169
00:06:05,237 --> 00:06:07,197
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, you were.
170
00:06:07,237 --> 00:06:09,643
- Let's just go home.
- Uh, you know what?
171
00:06:09,668 --> 00:06:12,947
I, uh, I-I realized I
forgot something inside.
172
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:15,092
I dropped my breath
mint. I'll be right back.
173
00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:17,222
I'm sorry, but I just don't think
174
00:06:17,247 --> 00:06:18,787
Gene's right for Quiet Eli.
175
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,562
Trust me, he can do it.
176
00:06:20,587 --> 00:06:22,037
He's a natural entertainer.
177
00:06:22,062 --> 00:06:24,772
I'm sure he is. He's just a bit much.
178
00:06:24,797 --> 00:06:27,168
So then who's gonna get the part?
179
00:06:27,193 --> 00:06:29,347
I don't know. Maybe
I'll just ask my cousin.
180
00:06:29,387 --> 00:06:31,087
He's 26 but he has braces.
181
00:06:31,112 --> 00:06:33,442
Wait! Uh, what if we
made an arrangement?
182
00:06:33,467 --> 00:06:36,059
Maybe, uh, I could
work for you for free.
183
00:06:36,084 --> 00:06:39,002
- You need a stagehand, right?
- I do, but maybe not you.
184
00:06:39,057 --> 00:06:40,968
Hey, what if I help
you sell some tickets?
185
00:06:40,993 --> 00:06:42,960
That's the toughest job
in the whole show, honey.
186
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:44,437
I can do it, honey.
187
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,162
I can pack this house for opening night.
188
00:06:46,187 --> 00:06:48,487
But if I promise a sell-out,
will you promise to cast
189
00:06:48,527 --> 00:06:51,407
- my little Genie Spice Superstar?
- Throw in that first thing
190
00:06:51,447 --> 00:06:53,077
you said about working as a stagehand,
191
00:06:53,117 --> 00:06:54,921
and I think this might
just be his big break.
192
00:06:54,946 --> 00:06:56,997
(laughs): Oh, my God!
I'm gonna be a stage mom
193
00:06:57,037 --> 00:06:59,247
and a stagehand... what a day!
194
00:06:59,287 --> 00:07:03,377
Guess who's gonna be in a play,
just like Lin-Manuel Hamiltons?
195
00:07:03,417 --> 00:07:06,073
You're looking at Quiet Eli, baby!
196
00:07:09,768 --> 00:07:12,407
Gosh, mister, those
beans smell delicious!
197
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,681
- These are fries, right?
- Well, I'm glad
198
00:07:14,706 --> 00:07:16,650
Gene finally has something
to focus his energy on.
199
00:07:16,675 --> 00:07:18,385
I told you this was a good idea.
200
00:07:18,425 --> 00:07:20,265
He's gonna be a great Quiet Eli.
201
00:07:20,312 --> 00:07:22,562
I mean, he's not gonna
be a quiet Quiet Eli.
202
00:07:22,595 --> 00:07:24,305
Does the director guy know that?
203
00:07:24,345 --> 00:07:25,395
Definitely!
204
00:07:25,435 --> 00:07:27,815
Yeah. He knows that. Yeah.
205
00:07:27,855 --> 00:07:29,685
I mean, I guess he
gave him the role, so...
206
00:07:29,725 --> 00:07:31,355
(chuckles): Exactly.
207
00:07:31,395 --> 00:07:33,809
He gave him the role. He
totally did, fair and square.
208
00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:36,301
Okay. Why do you sound weird?
209
00:07:36,326 --> 00:07:37,930
- Here's the thing, Bob.
- Oh, boy.
210
00:07:37,955 --> 00:07:41,880
I may have kinda sorta
persuaded the director
211
00:07:41,905 --> 00:07:44,325
by promising to sell all
the tickets for opening night
212
00:07:44,365 --> 00:07:46,035
if he let Gene be in the play.
213
00:07:46,075 --> 00:07:48,035
- What?!
- It's only 60 tickets.
214
00:07:48,085 --> 00:07:50,835
Actually, he already sold
seven, so it's 60 minus seven,
215
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:53,085
which is fifty... (mumbles)
216
00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:56,398
- Lin, does Gene know that you did this?
- No, and he doesn't need to.
217
00:07:56,423 --> 00:07:58,191
You should've seen his face
after the audition, Bob.
218
00:07:58,215 --> 00:08:01,425
The only time I've seen him
that sad is when Louise told him
219
00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:03,515
the California Raisins
died in a plane crash.
220
00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:05,225
- Mm.
- I had to do something.
221
00:08:05,265 --> 00:08:08,133
Now he thinks the director
loved him, and he feels better.
222
00:08:08,158 --> 00:08:10,541
That's a lot of tickets, Lin.
How are you gonna sell them all?
223
00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:12,775
How are we gonna sell
them all? But mostly you,
224
00:08:12,815 --> 00:08:14,371
because I'm gonna be
very busy with rehearsals.
225
00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:15,921
-No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no...
-Just take 'em.
226
00:08:15,945 --> 00:08:17,155
Please? Please?
227
00:08:17,195 --> 00:08:18,985
- Aw, fine.
- Oh, thank you, Bobby.
228
00:08:19,025 --> 00:08:21,075
(kiss) Listen, we got
to go to the theater.
229
00:08:21,115 --> 00:08:23,865
I'll see you tonight. Gene, let's go!
We're late for rehearsal!
230
00:08:23,905 --> 00:08:25,825
I always wanted to say that.
231
00:08:25,865 --> 00:08:27,875
Oh, my God. (high-pitched) Aah!
232
00:08:27,915 --> 00:08:30,610
Guys, you realize I'm cooking
with fire, right?
233
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,805
They're love handles, Dad.
We're just giving them love.
234
00:08:32,830 --> 00:08:34,290
Sorry if you can't handle it.
235
00:08:34,315 --> 00:08:36,115
Well, you're not allowed
to poke 'em anymore.
236
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,520
Are you sure you're not just
crabby because Mom tricked you
237
00:08:38,545 --> 00:08:40,965
into selling a million
tickets to Gene's play?
238
00:08:41,005 --> 00:08:43,265
- Mm, maybe.
- Maybe we can help.
239
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:46,095
-Really? -Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
What's in it for us?
240
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,540
Uh, how about two days
off from the restaurant?
241
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:51,265
That's a start. But come
on, you know what we want.
242
00:08:51,315 --> 00:08:54,145
(groans) Fine. I'll-I'll let
you poke me in the love handles
243
00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:55,880
as much as you want for a month.
244
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:57,395
- Holy crap. I'm in.
- Me, too.
245
00:08:57,445 --> 00:08:59,684
But we're gonna need one
quick poke in advance.
246
00:08:59,709 --> 00:09:02,115
No, no, no, you're not
getting any of these bad boys
247
00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:03,325
until you sell the tickets.
248
00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:05,770
Firm but fair... Unlike your body.
249
00:09:05,825 --> 00:09:07,115
? ?
250
00:09:08,535 --> 00:09:10,415
Kathleen, look! I'm on the phone!
251
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,110
Ha! I'm just kidding. It's a prop.
252
00:09:12,165 --> 00:09:13,943
Oh, you're on the phone. I'm sorry.
253
00:09:13,968 --> 00:09:15,335
It's okay. It's just Teddy.
254
00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:16,415
He's calling from...
255
00:09:16,465 --> 00:09:18,125
I guess right behind you.
256
00:09:18,174 --> 00:09:19,730
- Yeah, there he is.
- Hi. Uh, just checking
257
00:09:19,755 --> 00:09:21,982
to see if you need anything.
I'm going home to poop.
258
00:09:22,007 --> 00:09:24,305
I mean, I'm going home to get a coffee.
259
00:09:24,345 --> 00:09:27,175
Wanted to see if you... Damn it!
Aah! Stupid!
260
00:09:29,029 --> 00:09:30,725
Mr. Ambrose? You're in this play?
261
00:09:30,765 --> 00:09:33,225
No. I was actually looking
for the school library,
262
00:09:33,265 --> 00:09:35,315
but I got lost and
wandered into this building.
263
00:09:35,355 --> 00:09:37,355
Where am I? Yes, I'm in this play!
264
00:09:37,395 --> 00:09:38,895
I think I followed that.
265
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,380
So you're replacing "The Hair"?
266
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,775
That's what we called
the boy who had your role.
267
00:09:42,825 --> 00:09:45,267
Yeah. I'm the new kid.
Everybody calls me "The Face."
268
00:09:45,292 --> 00:09:47,195
- Because I have a face.
- Well, let me tell you
269
00:09:47,245 --> 00:09:49,495
everything you need
to know. That's Jules.
270
00:09:49,535 --> 00:09:52,495
She's a yoga instructor
and a downward-facing drag.
271
00:09:52,535 --> 00:09:56,295
She's semi-hooking up with
Eric, who's not not straight.
272
00:09:56,335 --> 00:09:59,585
And that's Jeremy, who's not
not not messing around with Eric.
273
00:09:59,650 --> 00:10:02,110
And that's Janice. She's Mormon.
274
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,755
And believe me, they're
all trying to get
275
00:10:03,795 --> 00:10:06,498
- some of this.
- Okay, cast, big day.
276
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,595
Last dress rehearsal
before opening night.
277
00:10:08,635 --> 00:10:10,361
- (Linda clears throat loudly)
- Oh, that's right.
278
00:10:10,385 --> 00:10:13,185
As many of you know, one
of our actors recently left,
279
00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:16,264
so now we have a new Quiet
Eli... Gene Belcher. Yay.
280
00:10:16,289 --> 00:10:18,105
Yay! Also hi.
281
00:10:18,145 --> 00:10:20,217
I'm Linda, the new stagehand.
282
00:10:20,242 --> 00:10:22,445
So let me know if you guys
need a hand with anything.
283
00:10:22,485 --> 00:10:24,195
- I got two. (chuckles)
- DONOVAN: Okay,
284
00:10:24,235 --> 00:10:26,735
let's run the show
from the top, shall we?
285
00:10:26,785 --> 00:10:28,575
(Southern accent): Summertime,
286
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,786
and all my food is
spoiled rotten to the core.
287
00:10:31,811 --> 00:10:34,276
Much like this Charmin' Southern town,
288
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,955
it seems fine, but under the surface
289
00:10:36,995 --> 00:10:39,415
somethin' doesn't smell right.
290
00:10:39,465 --> 00:10:42,335
We've been invited to a
potluck at the Pomeroys'.
291
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:45,409
Too bad there's nothing
lucky about this pot.
292
00:10:45,434 --> 00:10:48,345
Oh, I sure do love you, Edwin Abernathy.
293
00:10:48,385 --> 00:10:50,845
I wonder if Cameron Calhoun
294
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,530
is gonna bring his beans...
295
00:10:53,555 --> 00:10:56,202
Who's that there? Come here, child.
296
00:10:56,726 --> 00:10:57,765
Gene, that's your cue.
297
00:10:57,815 --> 00:10:58,935
Oh, okay!
298
00:10:58,975 --> 00:11:00,815
Give me those beans, you son of a bitch!
299
00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:02,695
- (mimics electric guitar)
- Ha!
300
00:11:02,735 --> 00:11:04,195
Stop, stop, stop.
301
00:11:04,220 --> 00:11:05,491
Gene, that's not your line.
302
00:11:05,516 --> 00:11:08,165
And, also, nowhere does it
say the character is topless.
303
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:09,615
Mm, I thought it was implied.
304
00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:10,825
Well, it's not.
305
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:12,882
- Just say the line, as written.
- Got it.
306
00:11:12,907 --> 00:11:14,495
Eric, give him the cue again.
307
00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:16,245
Come here, child!
308
00:11:16,285 --> 00:11:18,705
Gosh, mister, those
beans smell delicious.
309
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:20,951
- Thank you.
- Now let's potluck!
310
00:11:20,976 --> 00:11:23,005
I'm Quiet Eli, baby!
311
00:11:23,045 --> 00:11:24,101
(stifled chuckling): Oh, God.
312
00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:25,215
Let's take a break.
313
00:11:25,255 --> 00:11:26,675
I need to speak with my stagehand.
314
00:11:26,715 --> 00:11:28,215
Linda!
315
00:11:28,724 --> 00:11:30,610
So, that'll be one burger of the day?
316
00:11:30,635 --> 00:11:33,925
Tina, aren't you gonna offer
this nice man a Thespian Combo?
317
00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:36,410
- Oh, right.
- What's the Thespian Combo?
318
00:11:36,435 --> 00:11:39,395
It's a great value, actually.
It comes with fries, a soda
319
00:11:39,435 --> 00:11:42,185
and three tickets to an
amazing play tomorrow night.
320
00:11:42,210 --> 00:11:43,210
How much is it?
321
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,605
Hmm. Let me see here. Three plus two...
322
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:47,380
- $40.
- Mm, no.
323
00:11:47,405 --> 00:11:48,405
- Get out.
- What?
324
00:11:48,485 --> 00:11:49,985
Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean that.
325
00:11:50,035 --> 00:11:51,815
Ugh. Tina, get this man his burger.
326
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,090
On it. One burger of
the day coming right up
327
00:11:54,115 --> 00:11:56,245
for the guy who hates art
and everything beautiful.
328
00:11:56,285 --> 00:11:58,535
Tina, Louise, can I
talk to you for a sec?
329
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,125
Please stop harassing the customers.
330
00:12:00,165 --> 00:12:01,335
That's how it works, Dad.
331
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,405
No one willingly buys theater tickets.
332
00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:05,520
Well, you're gonna have to
find a different approach.
333
00:12:05,545 --> 00:12:07,215
This one's not working.
334
00:12:07,255 --> 00:12:08,345
Okay. (sighs)
335
00:12:08,385 --> 00:12:10,135
Maybe a poke to help us think?
336
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,370
No. No ticket stubs, no...
337
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:14,524
sticking... chubs.
338
00:12:14,555 --> 00:12:15,805
Ugh! Temptress!
339
00:12:15,845 --> 00:12:17,885
Okay, you know what, I
think we're gonna have
340
00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:19,910
to sell these tickets
the old-fashioned way.
341
00:12:19,935 --> 00:12:21,895
- On a horse?
- No, not on a horse.
342
00:12:21,935 --> 00:12:24,315
We go out and pound the
pavement and find some suckers.
343
00:12:24,355 --> 00:12:25,855
I mean, theater lovers.
344
00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:28,080
And by theater lovers, I mean suckers.
345
00:12:28,105 --> 00:12:29,460
Okay, let's roll, T. Come on.
346
00:12:29,525 --> 00:12:32,115
- Poke ya later.
- Oh, my God.
347
00:12:32,155 --> 00:12:34,075
DONOVAN: I don't know
if you've noticed, Linda,
348
00:12:34,115 --> 00:12:36,075
but your son is chewing
up the scenery out there.
349
00:12:36,115 --> 00:12:37,245
Literally chewing.
350
00:12:37,285 --> 00:12:38,586
Plus, he also ate a bunch of makeup.
351
00:12:38,611 --> 00:12:39,995
Oh, he's just excited.
352
00:12:40,035 --> 00:12:41,035
He'll get it. I promise.
353
00:12:41,085 --> 00:12:42,455
Just give him a chance.
354
00:12:42,487 --> 00:12:44,497
I'm trying, but I don't
think this is working.
355
00:12:44,545 --> 00:12:46,215
What? No. We had a deal.
356
00:12:46,255 --> 00:12:49,045
You let my son shine and I
fill your theater with behinds.
357
00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:51,845
Gene just had to get the
sillies out. That's all.
358
00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:53,750
And they're pretty much mostly out now.
359
00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:55,805
Mostly. I promise.
360
00:12:55,830 --> 00:12:56,945
Kinda.
361
00:12:57,185 --> 00:12:59,805
Okay, remember, call
time tomorrow is 6:30.
362
00:12:59,855 --> 00:13:01,145
So get some rest.
363
00:13:01,170 --> 00:13:02,840
Or do what I do: lie awake
364
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,631
and listen to your roommate do
stuff with your other roommate
365
00:13:04,656 --> 00:13:06,036
on the other side of the wall.
366
00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:08,087
Hopefully, we'll have a
full house for opening night.
367
00:13:08,112 --> 00:13:11,325
I'm just lookin' over at
you for no reason, Linda.
368
00:13:11,350 --> 00:13:13,035
So, you feel ready for tomorrow?
369
00:13:13,075 --> 00:13:14,974
Do you know both your lines?
370
00:13:14,999 --> 00:13:17,115
I think so. Is it weird
that Donovan yells at me
371
00:13:17,155 --> 00:13:19,535
every time I talk? Or is
he just being hard on me
372
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:21,060
'cause he believes in me?
373
00:13:21,085 --> 00:13:23,181
He believes you're gonna pack
the house, that's for sure.
374
00:13:23,245 --> 00:13:25,508
Because of the way I
shimmy, shammy and shine?
375
00:13:25,533 --> 00:13:27,770
No, because your mother
promised to sell all the tickets
376
00:13:27,795 --> 00:13:29,755
for opening night so
you'd get the part, right?
377
00:13:29,795 --> 00:13:31,135
- What?
- Oh, I can see
378
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,780
by your face you didn't know that.
379
00:13:32,805 --> 00:13:34,281
I feel like I shouldn't
have said anything.
380
00:13:34,344 --> 00:13:35,440
Oh, look, someone's calling me.
381
00:13:35,465 --> 00:13:37,236
I'm walking away. Oh, no... !
382
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:40,635
Great job, my little
Broadway Genie Weenie.
383
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:41,765
You ready to go home?
384
00:13:41,790 --> 00:13:43,800
- How dare you?
- Wha... ?
385
00:13:43,855 --> 00:13:45,121
What-what are you talking about?
386
00:13:45,145 --> 00:13:47,275
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
387
00:13:47,315 --> 00:13:50,009
You promised to sell
tickets to get me this part?!
388
00:13:50,034 --> 00:13:52,115
Wh-What tickets?
What-what part?
389
00:13:52,155 --> 00:13:54,655
Stop acting. This is
no place for acting!
390
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,630
Fine. I did it, Gene. But-but it was
391
00:13:56,655 --> 00:13:58,815
just 'cause I wanted
everyone to see The Gene Show.
392
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,760
Take me home. I'm going to my room
393
00:14:00,785 --> 00:14:02,551
and I'm not coming out
for dinner because I'm mad
394
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,995
but also because I already
have a bunch of food in there
395
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:07,033
that I've been saving over
the course of the last year!
396
00:14:09,618 --> 00:14:11,150
_
397
00:14:11,175 --> 00:14:12,361
LINDA: He hasn't come out
of his room all morning.
398
00:14:12,392 --> 00:14:14,142
I can't believe he's
still so upset at me.
399
00:14:14,175 --> 00:14:15,658
I can kind of believe it.
400
00:14:15,683 --> 00:14:16,933
Oh, because Mom lied to him?
401
00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:17,991
And he feels like a fraud?
402
00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:19,055
- Yeah.
- (sighs)
403
00:14:19,095 --> 00:14:21,185
I'm gonna go try and talk to him again.
404
00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:23,515
Well, I guess we don't have
to sell tickets anymore.
405
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:25,460
No, no, no. A deal's a deal, Dad.
406
00:14:25,485 --> 00:14:26,591
We're selling those tickets.
407
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,406
Your love handles are still in play.
408
00:14:28,431 --> 00:14:31,330
All we have to do is find
people who have disposable cash,
409
00:14:31,355 --> 00:14:33,865
a bunch of free time
and nothing to live for.
410
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,130
Like Grandma and Grandpa?
411
00:14:35,155 --> 00:14:36,025
But they're in Florida.
412
00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:37,615
Oh, Tina.
413
00:14:37,655 --> 00:14:39,495
You beautiful, brilliant idiot.
414
00:14:39,535 --> 00:14:40,705
Thank you?
415
00:14:40,745 --> 00:14:41,931
I know where we can sell these tickets.
416
00:14:41,955 --> 00:14:42,865
Come with me.
417
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,574
Gene, let me in.
418
00:14:44,599 --> 00:14:45,915
Go away! Or, better yet,
419
00:14:45,955 --> 00:14:48,085
go read the Holy Bribe-Le!
420
00:14:48,125 --> 00:14:50,215
Listen, I only made
that deal with Donovan
421
00:14:50,255 --> 00:14:53,255
because you just seemed
so down after the audition.
422
00:14:53,295 --> 00:14:56,045
I was down. Donovan didn't
seem to be into my whole deal,
423
00:14:56,070 --> 00:14:58,363
but then you said he
actually loved my whole deal.
424
00:14:58,388 --> 00:15:01,345
I mean, he didn't say
that he loved you, exactly.
425
00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:03,215
He said you were a bit much.
426
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,570
But-but what does that even mean?
427
00:15:04,595 --> 00:15:06,105
I think you're perfect.
428
00:15:06,145 --> 00:15:08,145
Am I, Mom? If you lied
to me about the play,
429
00:15:08,185 --> 00:15:10,145
how can I trust you about anything?!
430
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:11,970
I'm starting to think I might not be
431
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:13,637
a better singer than Adele!
432
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,570
No, you are! You are!
433
00:15:15,595 --> 00:15:18,307
Listen, I'm gonna go make
you something sweet, okay?
434
00:15:18,332 --> 00:15:20,171
And then I'm gonna put
something sweet on top of it
435
00:15:20,195 --> 00:15:22,145
and then add sugar to
it and then kiss it.
436
00:15:22,170 --> 00:15:25,549
I love you! I hate you! I love
you! But go away! But do that!
437
00:15:25,574 --> 00:15:27,205
Bob, am I doing this wrong?
438
00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:30,045
That's... so much sugar. So, yes.
439
00:15:30,070 --> 00:15:32,320
No, I'm talking about
the parenting stuff.
440
00:15:32,375 --> 00:15:33,925
I feel like I'm screwing it up.
441
00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:35,295
I mean, yeah.
442
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,870
- Bob!
- No, no, no, no, no.
443
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:37,815
I mean, we both screw up.
444
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:38,820
All the time.
445
00:15:38,845 --> 00:15:40,345
Sometimes we're okay, I think.
446
00:15:40,385 --> 00:15:42,016
But a lot of times, we screw up.
447
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,610
Well, this week, I screwed up.
448
00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:46,001
- That's for sure.
- Don't be so hard on yourself.
449
00:15:46,026 --> 00:15:48,161
Remember when I drove for 20
minutes with Tina's hair caught
450
00:15:48,185 --> 00:15:49,621
in the car door because I was listening
451
00:15:49,646 --> 00:15:51,106
to that audiobook by the Rock?
452
00:15:51,145 --> 00:15:52,735
- Yeah. That was bad.
- I just think,
453
00:15:52,775 --> 00:15:54,145
as long as we're trying our best,
454
00:15:54,195 --> 00:15:55,445
that's as good as we can do.
455
00:15:55,510 --> 00:15:57,090
At least, that's what the Rock said.
456
00:15:57,115 --> 00:15:58,341
- He's so handsome.
- Great body.
457
00:15:58,365 --> 00:16:00,155
I-I just think Gene is Gene.
458
00:16:00,195 --> 00:16:01,535
For a million different reasons.
459
00:16:01,575 --> 00:16:02,923
And-and that's great.
460
00:16:02,948 --> 00:16:04,631
You wanted to find a place
for him to do his thing,
461
00:16:04,655 --> 00:16:07,245
which is sweet, but maybe it
just wasn't the right place.
462
00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,860
- Yeah.
- Which is totally fine.
463
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,140
(sighs) You're right.
464
00:16:10,165 --> 00:16:12,165
And you know what?
I'm gonna call Donovan
465
00:16:12,190 --> 00:16:14,126
and tell him Gene doesn't
want to be in his dumb play.
466
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:15,730
Hi, Donovan. It's Linda.
467
00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:17,045
Linda, I don't have time to talk.
468
00:16:17,085 --> 00:16:18,635
I'm dealing with an emergency.
469
00:16:18,675 --> 00:16:20,219
All of my actors are sick with the flu.
470
00:16:20,244 --> 00:16:21,765
What? How'd that happen?
471
00:16:21,805 --> 00:16:24,175
Well, let's just say
it's a very close cast.
472
00:16:24,225 --> 00:16:26,185
Oh, well. Guess it's
good we didn't sell any
473
00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:27,435
of your tickets then, huh?
474
00:16:27,475 --> 00:16:28,661
I guess it kind of worked out.
475
00:16:28,685 --> 00:16:30,281
The show's sold out, Linda.
476
00:16:30,306 --> 00:16:32,475
What? It is? Who sold all the tickets?
477
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,025
Guess what. We sold all the tickets.
478
00:16:34,050 --> 00:16:35,010
Oh, boy.
479
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:36,040
A deal's a deal, Dad.
480
00:16:36,065 --> 00:16:37,355
Now get ready to squeal.
481
00:16:37,405 --> 00:16:38,735
How'd you guys do it?
482
00:16:38,775 --> 00:16:39,904
Old folks' home.
483
00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:41,299
They're gonna bus 'em in.
484
00:16:41,325 --> 00:16:43,860
That theater's gonna smell
like menthol rub and soup.
485
00:16:43,885 --> 00:16:45,155
I am freaking out.
486
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,261
I'm gonna have a packed house
487
00:16:46,285 --> 00:16:47,825
and I've got no actors!
488
00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:50,470
Okay, okay. Calm down, Donovan. Breathe.
489
00:16:50,495 --> 00:16:53,205
(deep, growling breaths)
490
00:16:53,627 --> 00:16:55,755
Okay, maybe don't
breathe. That sounds bad.
491
00:16:55,795 --> 00:16:58,085
I'm sorry all your actors
gave each other the flu
492
00:16:58,125 --> 00:17:00,384
or the horny flu or
whatever they call it.
493
00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:02,731
But I don't think Gene is gonna
be part of your play either.
494
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,572
I'm worried if he stays in it,
it'll crush his little spirit.
495
00:17:05,820 --> 00:17:07,450
Donovan? Hello?
496
00:17:07,475 --> 00:17:08,515
Oh, he hung up.
497
00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:09,420
Hello, Mother.
498
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,235
You look just as I remember you.
499
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:12,590
Hi, Gene.
500
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,200
I thought about what Donovan said,
501
00:17:14,225 --> 00:17:16,435
and I realize now that I am a bit much.
502
00:17:16,485 --> 00:17:18,195
And I'm ready to rein it all in,
503
00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:21,340
much like Jim Carrey in his
acclaimed dramatic roles.
504
00:17:21,365 --> 00:17:23,365
No, Gene, no.
505
00:17:23,405 --> 00:17:25,171
- (gasps, squeals)
- Boom goes the dynamite.
506
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,141
This better not be one of those
plays where they come up to you
507
00:17:31,165 --> 00:17:32,599
in the aisle and meow at you.
508
00:17:32,624 --> 00:17:34,415
GENE: So, wait, everyone got the flu?
509
00:17:34,455 --> 00:17:36,085
- How'd that happen?
- They all gave it
510
00:17:36,125 --> 00:17:38,375
to each other by, um,
uh, being friendly.
511
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,925
Theater, huh? Sounds
kind of... interesting.
512
00:17:40,965 --> 00:17:41,685
Tina.
513
00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:43,845
Anyways, I just want to
say it again, Gene.
514
00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:45,846
You don't have to do this
play if you don't want to.
515
00:17:45,871 --> 00:17:47,831
No, Mother. I've made up my mind.
516
00:17:47,856 --> 00:17:50,240
I want to play Quiet Eli. Quietly.
517
00:17:50,265 --> 00:17:52,265
- As written.
- Oh, boy.
518
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,860
Well, this Gene's fun.
519
00:17:53,885 --> 00:17:55,395
All right. Good luck in there, Lin.
520
00:17:55,435 --> 00:17:57,855
Tina, Louise, let's go find
a place to stand in the back,
521
00:17:57,895 --> 00:18:00,275
with my love handles tucked in my pants
522
00:18:00,315 --> 00:18:02,194
and pressed against the wall.
523
00:18:04,275 --> 00:18:05,905
Is that Donovan under the cushions?
524
00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:08,785
(muffled): Yes. No.
I'm not here. I'm dead.
525
00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:11,303
I finally have a
sold-out show but no show.
526
00:18:11,328 --> 00:18:13,245
(clears throat) Hello, Donovan.
527
00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:14,900
Pleasure to see you today.
528
00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:16,595
Okay. Now he's freaking me out.
529
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:17,660
He's... fine.
530
00:18:17,685 --> 00:18:19,515
Look, Donovan, we don't have much time.
531
00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:21,190
And Gene says he wants
to be in the play now.
532
00:18:21,215 --> 00:18:22,505
So how are we gonna do this?
533
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:24,530
Well, I did have one idea.
534
00:18:24,555 --> 00:18:25,885
Really? What is it?
535
00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:27,067
What if...
536
00:18:27,092 --> 00:18:29,201
I just went out there
and played all the parts?
537
00:18:29,225 --> 00:18:31,385
Okay. Uh, how would that work?
538
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,465
I mean, the people in the
audience don't know the play.
539
00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,160
They barely know they're at a play.
540
00:18:35,185 --> 00:18:36,331
All they know is there's a potluck
541
00:18:36,355 --> 00:18:37,725
'cause it's in the title.
542
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,460
That's all I know,
and I'm the stagehand.
543
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:41,985
Exactly. What if I just go out onstage
544
00:18:42,010 --> 00:18:43,680
and try to tell the story by myself?
545
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,050
With Quiet Eli.
546
00:18:45,075 --> 00:18:47,677
Uh, sure. Look, it might work.
547
00:18:47,702 --> 00:18:49,881
It might not. But I don't
have any other choice.
548
00:18:49,905 --> 00:18:51,155
So I'm gonna try it.
549
00:18:51,205 --> 00:18:52,615
Crowd's getting restless out there.
550
00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:54,125
I mean, not restless.
551
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:55,900
But there's a lot of
candy wrapper sounds.
552
00:18:55,925 --> 00:18:59,155
All right. Well, I guess
it's showtime, everyone.
553
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,730
And just remember, you can't
sit on any of the furniture.
554
00:19:01,755 --> 00:19:03,795
Or lean on it. I was not told
555
00:19:03,835 --> 00:19:05,585
that it had to be structurally sound.
556
00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:06,900
It's pretty dangerous.
557
00:19:06,925 --> 00:19:08,345
Anyway, have fun out there.
558
00:19:08,385 --> 00:19:10,595
Gene, baby, come here.
I want to say something.
559
00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:13,595
I know I really messed up
by not being honest with you.
560
00:19:13,645 --> 00:19:16,432
But I just want you to know
that even if I wasn't your mom,
561
00:19:16,457 --> 00:19:18,880
even if I was just some
lady who smelled like meat
562
00:19:18,935 --> 00:19:20,355
and was a great dancer,
563
00:19:20,395 --> 00:19:22,275
I would still be a fan of The Gene Show.
564
00:19:22,315 --> 00:19:23,905
- Really?
- Definitely.
565
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,315
I'd be your number one fan.
566
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:26,405
Are you a bit much?
567
00:19:26,445 --> 00:19:28,559
Of course you are, and that's great.
568
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,405
And sometimes people can handle
it, and sometimes they can't.
569
00:19:31,445 --> 00:19:33,137
But sometimes it's perfect.
570
00:19:33,162 --> 00:19:34,995
And, I mean, hey, you got good timing.
571
00:19:35,020 --> 00:19:36,060
You got it from me.
572
00:19:36,085 --> 00:19:37,637
That and my full bottom.
573
00:19:37,662 --> 00:19:39,957
Ha! See? Timing.
574
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,770
(man coughs)
575
00:19:46,795 --> 00:19:48,215
(Southern accent): Summertime.
576
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,650
And all my food is
spoiled... (British): rotten.
577
00:19:50,675 --> 00:19:53,435
(Southern): It's kind of like
this charming Southern town.
578
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,404
(regular voice): Meanwhile, over here...
579
00:19:55,429 --> 00:19:58,280
(high-pitched): I sure do
love you, Edwin Abernathy.
580
00:19:58,305 --> 00:20:00,025
I'm so glad we're married.
581
00:20:00,304 --> 00:20:02,065
(regular voice): Eh... Oh, i-is, um,
582
00:20:02,105 --> 00:20:03,599
what my wife said.
583
00:20:03,624 --> 00:20:04,815
To me.
584
00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:05,921
- I don't like this.
- (coughing)
585
00:20:05,945 --> 00:20:06,735
What's happening?
586
00:20:06,775 --> 00:20:08,315
Did the play start?
587
00:20:08,365 --> 00:20:10,195
Oh, no. Maybe this
was not the best idea.
588
00:20:10,235 --> 00:20:12,115
The poor guy's dying out there.
589
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:15,090
(deep voice): Too bad there's
nothing lucky about this pot.
590
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:18,350
(quietly): And then I go
over here and, um, I...
591
00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:22,889
I wonder if Cameron Calhoun's
gonna bring his beans!
592
00:20:22,914 --> 00:20:25,585
And this would be a... Okay,
this would be a scene change.
593
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:28,175
- What is this? - This is terrible.
- I'll just go over yonder,
594
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,200
-uh, here...
-Gene, he's dying. Get out there.
595
00:20:30,382 --> 00:20:32,465
And get some bean sauce!
596
00:20:32,515 --> 00:20:34,055
- I'm Quiet Eli, baby!
- (gasping)
597
00:20:34,095 --> 00:20:35,935
(mimics electric guitar)
598
00:20:35,975 --> 00:20:38,400
Oh. Uh, uh, Quiet Eli.
599
00:20:38,425 --> 00:20:41,120
Are you, uh, um, here for the potluck?
600
00:20:41,145 --> 00:20:43,224
Does this answer your question?
601
00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:45,315
- A-jiggly, jiggly, jiggly, jiggly,
- (laughter)
602
00:20:45,355 --> 00:20:47,131
- jiggly, jiggly, jiggly, jiggly.
- Oh, uh, uh, right.
603
00:20:47,155 --> 00:20:49,775
Yes, that does answer my question.
604
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,301
(whispers): This is working. Keep going.
605
00:20:51,325 --> 00:20:53,785
(quietly): More? Oh, I can do more.
606
00:20:53,810 --> 00:20:56,560
- Now let's potluck, baby!
- (laughter)
607
00:20:57,745 --> 00:20:59,705
Do it, Gene! Do it, baby!
608
00:20:59,745 --> 00:21:01,125
(grunts, shouts)
609
00:21:01,165 --> 00:21:02,665
? Jiggle, jiggle ?
610
00:21:02,705 --> 00:21:04,375
? A-jiggle, a-jiggle ?
611
00:21:04,415 --> 00:21:06,005
? Jiggle, jiggle ?
612
00:21:06,045 --> 00:21:07,795
? A-jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle ?
613
00:21:07,835 --> 00:21:09,295
? Jiggle, jiggle ?
614
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:11,635
? A-jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle ?
615
00:21:11,675 --> 00:21:13,055
? Jiggle, jiggle ?
616
00:21:13,095 --> 00:21:14,765
? A-jiggly, jiggly, jiggly, jiggly! ?
617
00:21:14,805 --> 00:21:18,265
- ? The Gene Show, Gene ?
- (mimics electric guitar)
618
00:21:18,305 --> 00:21:23,065
? The Gene Show is everybody's
favorite show about Gene ?
619
00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:25,435
Scrambly, scrambly,
scrambly, scrambly, scrambly!
620
00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:29,985
? The Gene Show is everybody's
favorite show about Gene ?
621
00:21:30,025 --> 00:21:32,775
GENE: I'm Quiet Eli, baby!
622
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:34,405
? The Gene Show is every... ?
623
00:21:34,455 --> 00:21:39,005
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