All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s08e01 Brunchsquatch.eng

? ?

All right,

breakfast is served.
We got some French toast,

eggs in the hole, bacon,
and hash browns.

Is that it, Dad?
You're kind of phoning it in.

Uh, what can I say?
I like making breakfast.

He's got eggs,
and he knows how to use 'em.

Oops, I dropped some egg.

Oh, no.
If only we had a dog,

it would be cleaning that up
for us right now.

Guys, we've been over this.
I know that puppy you saw

- last week was cute, but...
- I beg your pardon.

"Cute" is not a word
that even begins to describe

- what that puppy was.
- He was like Shirley Temple

stuffed inside a teddy bear

stuffed inside
that kid from Jerry Maguire.

We can't have a dog.

Dogs are expensive...
the food, the vet,

the Halloween costumes.

Oh, also having a dog is a lot
of work, and you kids hate work.

You never do any of your chores.
Y-You don't... floss.

Yeah. Hey, weren't we gonna
start using a chore wheel?

That's right. Whose chore was it
to make the chore wheel?

- Not me. - Not me.
- Not me. - Not me.

Please, please, please
let us have a dog.

Please?

Wow, that was good harmony.

But no.

Okay, we didn't
want to have to do this,

but we drew some pictures
of the family. Gene?

Here we are, dogless.

Note how gray and empty
we all look.

- What am I holding?
- You've got a knife

and you're gonna stab Dad.

- Oh, yeah.
- And here we are with a dog.

Ooh! I look good.

Yup. The sun is shining.

Look at the light.
Look at the color.

Um, who's the other woman?

Mom let you get another wife.

You met her when you were
out walking the dog.

Her name is Susan.
She's a homeopath.

I like Susan.

So, can we get a dog?

- No.
- No. - Poor Susan.

Now I'm afraid
I'm gonna stab you.

Wow, that's a long line.

Yeah.
What is going on over there?

Look. "Now serving brunch

and all you can drink
Bloody Mary-naras."

Hey, Bob. I-I see you got a huge
line outside your restaurant.

Oh, wait, oh, that's me!

Zoom.

Only we do.

Oh that's very funny, Jimmy.

Yeah, it's called brunch, Bob.

Read about it.

Why don't you read about it?

Yeah, here, read this.

He's talking about his butt.
Like it's a book.

- Hey, don't explain it.
- Just clarifying.

I'm going inside now,
so have fun.

There's no line.
You should get right in.

Stupid Jimmy Pesto.

Do that many people
really go to brunch?

Yeah. Families, young people,
big groups of girlfriends

who all just
broke off their engagements.

Maybe we could do brunch.
We already serve food.

Well, I do love cooking eggs.

It could be fun.

And so I said, "I don't
get hungry, I get fun-gry."

Oh, honey, if you're fun-gry,
I'm fun-starving.

- I like dating.
- Check, please.

Let's do it.
But I get to be the Carrie.

Mom, you're the Stanford Blatch
and you know it.

Linda, you wouldn't
be going to the bru

- you'd be working at it.
- Oh. Right.

Sucks for you, Mom.

Uh, you kids
would be working, too.

- Yay.
- Oh, we'd love to,

but we have to go to church.

But look at that line
outside Jimmy's...

- we could really use the money.
- For a dog.

- No.
- Ooh, we could serve mimosas.

But we could call 'em Mom-osas,
after me.

Yeah. Or Gene-mosas,
after Gene Simmons.

Okay, let's do it.
Let's do a brunch.

Good, yeah, this'll be great.

Bob's Burgers' Brunch.

We'll see who has
a bigger line tomorrow, Jimmy.

Hello, Belchers.

How are we today?

Uh-uh, hi, Mr. Fischoeder.

Ca... Uh, can we help you
with something?

We-we sent you the rent.
It was very late, but...

Right. Yes.

- Uh, thank you.
- Do you...

- want to see a menu?
- Oh, no.

No. No, I do not
want to eat your food, Bob.

I'm actually
looking for my brother, Felix.

You haven't seen him, have you?

No. How long has he been gone?

Do you think he's okay?

Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
Uh, it's just that

"Crocodile Rock," uh, came on
the radio and I don't want,

uh... I don't want him
to miss it.

I love that song. It's about
when The Rock was yo

Ugh. Louise,
I asked you to take this out

to the Dumpster last night.

Oh, the Dumpster Dumpster.

I thought you meant
something else.

Go.

- Now.
- Okay.

See? See how much
I love to work?

I see. We still
aren't getting a dog.

I'll break you yet,
Robert Belcher.

- Felix?
- Shh! I'm hiding.

Well, Mr. Fischoeder
is inside looking for you.

What?!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

That's who I'm hiding from.

Why?
- I can't tell you, but let's just say

that I'm in a lot of danger
if he finds me.

Oh, Did he already look around in there?
- Yup.

Then that's where I should hide.

Now that he's looked in there,
that spot'll be good for hours.

Hey, if I came back later,
could you let me in?

- What's in it for me?
- What do you want?

I want a lot of things, Felix.

But right now
I want money for a dog.

- You owe a dog money?
- No.

What would you say to $250?

- I'd take it.
- No, you pay me.

- That's okay, too.
- All right, we'll hide you.

Great. I'll be back
later tonight.

And one more thing: you can't
tell anyone you saw me.

You have no idea
what's at stake.

Now, if you don't mind, I'd
like to finish my garbage fries.

What did I do
with my garbage ketchup?

Hmm. I thought for sure
I would find him in this area.

He always turns up
in the dirtiest places.

W-Wait, what?

Oh, did I say dirty?
I meant... dingy.

Louise, you still
have the trash.

Ha! I do.
Crazy me. So forgetful.

Hmm. You were out there
an awfully long time

and yet you did not
throw the trash away.

Talking to someone, were we?

What? No.

Bob, mind if I poke my head
in your alley, so to speak?

He was here!

- He was?
- Oh, yes.

If he wasn't,
then who does this belong to?

Wha... I don't see it.
W-What are you talking about?

It's a hair.
A single, limp, blonde hair.

A hair I'd know anywhere.

That's crazy. We get all kinds
of blondes in this alley.

We have to shoo them away
with a broom.

Well, this has been really fun

and, uh, not weird at all,

but we better
get back to our dingy lives.

All right.
Cheers, pink ears.

What was that all about?
Are you two dating?

No, but we are going to hide
his brother in our basement.

Nice.
I knew it was one or the other.

Granny! That hurt
my sweet little fingers.

Okay, your Dad and I
have to run a few errands

- for brunch tomorrow.
- I'm making a topless burger

with a fried egg and hollandaise

that is really
complicated, so...

Wait, are you topless
or the burger?

- Hmm. We'll see.
- All right,

bye, bye, bye.

- Stay out of my room!
- My room, too.

Stay out of our room!

- Okay, sister, spill.
- Spill what?

Apparently, we're
going to hide a man

- in our basement?
- Go on.

- Well, a Felix.
- Oh.

Psst!

Okay, so we brought you down
a blanket, a pillow...

Some potato chips.
No, wait, never mind.

Here's a DVD of Prelude
to a Kiss starring Meg Ryan.

I mean,
there's no DVD player down here

and we lost the DVD that...

Oh, don't worry. I've hidden
in much more boring places

than this
for much longer than one night.

I just need to stay hidden
until 12:30 p.m. tomorrow,

and then I win.

W-Wait. Win what?

You said you were in danger,

and I took advantage of that
for money.

In danger
of not winning hide-and-seek.

We play every year
on our birthdays.

The birthday boy hides,
and the non-birthday boy s

- It's your birthday?
- Oh, no.

My birthday was 19 days ago.

You've been hiding for 19 days?

- Smell me.
- - Ugh.

Huh. I'd say 15.

And if I make it to 20,
I beat my brother's record.

Why aren't you hiding
somewhere cool, like Europe?

Or the Upside Down.

Well, the rules are you have
to stay in town, you can't carry

any money, and you can't kill
anyone to keep them quiet.

Can you kill them
just to send a message?

Wh-When you say "no money,"
we're still gettin

of sweet, sweet dog cash, right?

Yes. Keep me hidden
till 12:30 p.m. tomorrow,

- and I'll make it $251.
- Whoa.

But if Calvin finds me
before then, you get nothing.

You really think Mom and Dad
will let us get a dog

- if we have that money?
- Sure, that'll cover

a couple months' expenses.
And then do you really think

they'll want to give
an adorable little furball b

I mean, they kept Tina,
and she can't even shake a paw.

I'm working on it.

Well, hello, eggs.

"Hi!" You guys ready to be
in some amazing frittatas?

"We sure are!"

You guys seem pretty egg-cited.

Get it?

"You're really funny!"
Thank you.

Hey, Bob, if you're done talking
to the eggs,

come out here
and take a look at this.

Sorry, I have to go talk
to my wife.

"Run away with us, Bob."

I can't. Well, maybe.

W-We'll see.

Is it great or what?

I even drew a little
champagne glass, you see?

Good morning, sleepy-beepies!

Oh, hey, Mom and Dad.
How are you? Good morning.

You guys sure got up early
and snuck out of the house.

How's it going? Have you
been down in the basement?

Um, yeah,
of course we have. Why?

Oh, cool. Very cool.

How was it?

It was the basement.

What the hell is going on?

Not much. How are you doin'?

Um, you guys
are acting really weird.

You're acting really weird.

Okay, well, can someone
go get me some tomatoes

- from the walk-in?
- Me! - On it! - Yep!

- What was that all about?
- Oh, it's probably all part

- of this dog thing.
- Oh, right.

We're never getting a dog,
right?

- No way.
- Okay, good.

If anything, maybe a monkey.

- Right. Wait, what?
- Monkey.

Felix, it's us, Tina, Louise,
and Gene Belcher from upstairs.

FELIX
I'm back here!

He's like
a human Karma Chameleon.

I had to tuck myself
in here this morning

when your parents came down.

But I had a nice head of lettuce
for breakfast,

and I'm feeling okay.

Aren't you cold?

Yes! I think I might lose a toe.

But it'll all be worth it
to see the look

on Calvin's dumb, warm face
when I break his record.

Okay, you need warmer clothes.

We can get some, but we'll
have to distract Mom and Dad

so they don't ask questions.

We could say something like,
"Don't look in the basement.

There's no man down there." Huh?

Here are those tomatoes
you ordered, Father.

And now we're going to
just pop upstairs for a second

because we have
a little surprise for you.

Good surprise or bad surprise?

Eh, surprise me.

Y'all ready for this?

Introducing...

...Brunchsquatch!

Oh, my God, I love it!
Brunchsquatch!

Aw! Cute little construction
paper bacon and eggs.

- Bob, do you love it?
- Yeah, it's a good idea.

We can send him outside
to drum up business.

Okay, Brunchsquatch distraction
was a success.

Little help?

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. In.

Ooh, look, a line!
We're like a nightclub!

Or an understaffed drugstore.

That's great!
In your face, Jimmy.

Okay, quick meeting, everybody.
Gather round.

- Wh-Where's Louise?
- Bathroom. - Mexico.

All right, well, when
she's back, she's running food.

Linda, you greet 'em
and seat 'em.

Tina, you're on busing and water

and picking up weird stuff
off the floor.

How do I know if it's weird?

Like that Band-Aid.
Weird? Not weird?

Gene, you go outside,
do your thing, and bring 'em in.

I'll shake my little benedicts!
Bum, bum, bum!

No, no, no. Don't-don't do that. Just...
- Roar!

- No, no, no.
- I'm a little tiger!

- Gene, don't do that. No, no.
- I'm a sexy little tiger.

- Don't do that.
- Yeah!

- Please, no. Just get customers.
- Shake, shake, shake.

I'll be in the kitchen,
making the world's best brunch.

On three. One, two...

Okay, you're-you're opening
the door.

Hello! I'm Linda.
Welcome to Bob's Burg...

- I'm here!
- Oh.

Dame Judi Brunch,
as you live and breathe.

Yes, it's really me.
Yes, I'm really here.

Yes, let's really have brunch.

I'm sorry.
Dame Who-di-what? What is it?

Wait. Oh, my God.
This is adorable.

You don't know who I am.

I don't.

She doesn't know who I am.
Okay, I love you.

Um, okay, of course,
this is your first brunch day,

so how could you?
My real name is Dalton,

but I write a blog,
Brunch Drunk Love,

under the name Dame Judi Brunch.

Wow!
- And this is Jennifer, other Jennifer, and Greg.

- Hello. - Hi. - Hi.
- Hi.

So you said you write a brunch
blog. I'd love to see that.

How do I find it? Do I, uh...
I blog dot net or something?

Or I just print it out?
Or what do I do?

Oh, my God, so funny!

Okay, now, what is that?
What am I looking at?

LINDA: That is
my son. He's Brunchsquatch.

Stop it. I'm dying.

No, you stop it. Don't die.

I won't. I'm dying.
I won't stop.

Okay, so, first things first,
bring us two mimosas each.

And we'll look at the menu.
Never stop being you.

Oh, my God, I can't believe
I just met a blogger.

? ?

Wow, it's really filled up!

We're having a buncha brunch!

Linda, this orange juice
tastes a little off.

Well, it's got champagne
in it, Teddy.

What? I had four of 'em!

Well, why'd you drink so many if
you thought they tasted weird?

I wanted to fit in.
- Oh, you... Ooh, you want a little more?

Maybe. Maybe half a glass.

Linda, where are the orders?

Well, no one's ordered food yet.

They sure love
the Mom-osas though, huh?

- Louise, there you are.
- What? Nothing.

O-kay. Uh, go take some orders.

These people need to have food
with their alcohol.

You got it.

Oh, hello, little Belcher!

Thought I'd stop by for brunch.

I left something here yesterday,
and I've come back for him.

Mr. Fischoeder, hello!

Um, do you want brunch?

Yes. One brunch, please, Linda.

I've been searching for brunch
all over town,

and I've come to believe
it's here.

It is... here.

So, I'm gonna go get you
a Mom-osa.

- Get it?
- You get it.

I will, I will.

So, child of Bob,

where do you think that sneaky
little brunch might be hiding?

Well, landlord of Bob, I don't
know what you're talking about.

Am I drunk or are you guys
having a weird conversation?

- Both.
- Both.

So, some news.

You're gonna want to stay put,

because your brother
is upstairs.

- What?!
- It's okay.

He's way up there,
and you're way down here.

You don't understand!
He's like a bloodhound.

And now I'm trapped.

Geez. Calm down. Gah.

I will take care of this.
Just stay here, stay warm,

and, for God's sake,
stop eating all the lettuce.

It's not even washed.

"Why aren't more people
ordering us, Bob?"

I-I have no idea, eggs.

I mean, I'm sure
they will v-very soon.

- Order up. Tell your eggs.
- Okay. Here we go.

One frittata for table five.

Wait, there's, like,
seven people

crammed in that booth.
They just want one frittata?

Guess they aren't hungry.

So far, the only person
who ordered a lot is The Dame.

His table got one of everything.

Wait. Why are you calling him
"The Dame"?

He's Dame Judi Brunch
and he runs a blog about brunch.

- Oh, cool.
- Back off. He's mine.

I'll go ask him
what we're doing wrong.

Maybe we didn't make the
right kind of food or something.

Shh, shh.
Don't listen to her, eggs.

You guys are perfect.
"We don't like her."

She's just jealous of us.
"We know."

All right. We need to figure out
a way to get Felix

out of the basement without
Mr. Fischoeder seeing him.

This seems like what the phrase

"Hey, look over there"
was born for.

Whew, I need to pee

and I feel like
I shouldn't do it out there

on the sidewalk... again.

People did not like that.

Yes, Gene, that's it.

You do need to pee.

I love how excited
you are about this.

No, no, no, listen, listen.
Come here.

So, why did you agree
to hide Felix, Louise?

- Did he offer to pay you?
- Did who offer to pay me?

And do you want to pay me more?

No, I-I-I don't need to.

My hide-and-seek record
has stood for 15 years.

The closer it gets to 12:30,
the more fun it will be

to see his face when I find him.

- And I know exactly where he is.
- Oh, really?

Yes. He's in the basement.

What? That's crazy.

Well, he's...

And I'll be there, too,
very soon.

But for now, I'm going to sit
here, drink this terrible mimosa

and let him think that
he's going to make it to 12:30.

Well, I better go
before I embarrass myself.

You know what?
Maybe I'll just...

So, Dame, how do you like
your food?

Where do we fall
on the brunch-o-meter?

How do I like this brunch?
How do I... ugh.

- How can you even ask me that?
- Oh, I mean, uh...

I don't like it.

- I love it.
- You do?

The Frittata Have Faith?
The Waffle Truth?

I almost literally
never say this word,

- but this brunch is amazeballs.
- He says that al

- He never says that.
- Wait. What?

Well, do you know why no one
else is ordering anything?

- Oh, no, Linda.
- Oh, no, what?

Linda, please tell me
you have a meal-per-P-minimum?

A PP what? A PP what?

Okay, okay. If you read my blog,
you would know this.

A meal per person minimum.
Look around.

You've got a restaurant
full of brunch skunks.

Oh, no. Not brunch skunks!

What are those?
What are those?

Oops. Ugh.
We need new glasses!

That is a brunch skunk, Linda.

They're just here for
the bottomless mimosas.

You didn't say they each
had to order a meal,

so they've got empty stomachs,
and... Oh, my God!

Are these drinks
not watered down?!

Of course not.
Who waters down a mimosa?

First of all, I know.
But second, it's brunch.

Okay? We went to that place
across the street yesterday.

I had 16 Bloody Marys
and I wasn't even buzzed.

- I had 20.
- She had 20. - We all drove home.

- Oh, my God.
- And once the skunks settle in,

it's almost impossible
to kick them out.

They're like bedbugs.

I've seen brunch skunks
throw up in their booths,

and just keep drinking.

I've seen a boy brunch skunk

fight his way
out of an ambulance

to try to get back into
a restaurant for more drinks.

This is bad, Linda.

This is very bad.

Oh, God. I got to go tell Bob!

Yes, you do.

But before you do that,
could you be a lil' cabbage

and grab us another round
of Mom-osas and some more

jalapeno aioli for our burgers?
Love you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Okay, okay!

Well, I guess it's time
to go crush someone's dreams.

- Mine?
- No. No, my good man.

Someone clearly beat me to that.
- Oh, good.

Oh. Pardon me,
breakfast monster.

Gene, wait. I-I need your help.
Stay here.

Bob, I'm going down
to check your basement for leaks

and Felixes and whatnot
before the winter season.

That's um, uh, okay.

- Bob! Bob! We got brunch skunks!
- What?

Brunch skunks! These people
just came for the drinks.

Skunky little booze hounds.

Miss, miss.
We need more drinks over here!

- That a brunch skunk?
- Yes, definitely a brunch skunk.

Wait. Whose purse is this?
- Oh, crap.

Okay, we can save this.
We'll just tell all these people

they have to go, and then
we'll seat everyone in line

and tell them that they have to order a meal.
- Okay.

Gene, go bus the tables.

Take every glass,
even if it's full.

Louise, Tina, help your brother.

Sure. But shouldn't Gene
go back outside, probably?

No. No, no, no.
W-We need you guys in here.

- And, Linda.
- What?

You got to start
giving out checks.

I know, I know.

Be brave.

Felix. I'm gonna getcha.

I'm a-comin' to get you.

You'll never get away.

I got you now.

I can smell you breathing,
Felix.

Caught you just
at the last second.

Hi.

Damn it!

So, this is your check.

I'm putting it down right here.

I don't remember
asking for the check.

I want more drinks.

Okay, well, no.

We actually have to cut you off.
I'm sorry.

The sign says
"bot-tom-less drinks."

You can't just add a bottom.

That's illegal.

I'm calling 911.

I'm sorry, but you have to go.

In fact...

all of you, you all have to go!

Oh, Linda, no.

Ow, my face!

I'm gonna get my own drink.

No, no, no.
No, you aren't. Sit down.

Ow, ow, ow.
You're walking on my legs.

- Gotcha.
- Felix, run!

No!

Brunch brawl!

Mr. Fischoeder, what are
you doing?! Get off Gene!

- You rang?
- Gene? Wait.

- Who's in the suit?
- Felix Fischoeder.

Sure.
Makes perfect sense.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

No! No, it's not me!
It's not me!

I'm not Felix!

Ha! 12:29!

-12:29!
- No! - No!

911 is here!

Now you're gonna be
in big trouble.

- So this is brunch, huh?
- I love it.

Ah, thank God they're all gone.

- The cops were nice.
- And we learned the police code

for brunch brawl:
ten-ten over easy.

Well, you didn't beat my record,

but you still get a birthday
present, just like always.

Should we go pick out a car?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yay, car!

I can't believe you guys
hid Felix in the restaurant

and we didn't even know.

Yeah, and we fed him
and took care of him.

Aw, that's nice.

So that probably means
we could get a dog?

It does not mean that at all.

You guys serving lunch yet?

Uh... Yeah, sure.

- Lunchsquatch!
- Yay!

And so I said,

"I don't get hungry,
I get fun-gry."

Linda, that's amazing.

I'm putting that on a shirt,
and I'm wearing it

absolutely everywhere.

Brunch is served.

Bob, I cannot believe
you cooked me a private brunch.

Of all the private brunches

I'm gonna go to this weekend,
this will probably be the best.

Oh. Well, uh, thanks for,
uh, bringing your dog.

My-my kids appreciate it.

Yeah, here's a picture of
all of us and you and the dog.

Okay, what are you guys
doing to me there?

Oh, we're stabbing you
so we can keep your dog.

I'm using a pitchfork.

I feel
really unsafe right now,

and that's not funny. Just
kidding, I love it. -

But am I wearing flip-flops?
Because no.

Okay, everybody, start
stabbing on the count of three!

- ? I'm a little tiger ?
- No, no, no, don't do that.

? I'm a sexy
little tiger ? Roar!

- Please, no.
- ? I'm a little tiger ?

- ? I'm a little tiger ?
- No, no, don't.

? I'm a sexy little tiger ?

? Shake, shake, shake,
I'm a little tiger ?

Gene, don't do that.

No, no, don't do that.
- GENE: ? I'm a sexy little tiger ?

- ? Sexy little tiger ?
- Yeah!

? I'll shake
my little benedicts ?

? I'm a little tiger ?

? I'm a sexy little tiger ?

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