All language subtitles for Torka Aldrig Tårar Utan Handskar - 102 - Sjukdomen [The Disease]

Goodbye.
-Yeah

It would be fun to..
You got my number right?

No, but i can take it now.

Do you have a phone?

It says that God does that.

What?

Writing our names in his hands.

Your name is written in my hands.

It's in the Bible

ehm 53

02

Bye

Never dry tears without gloves

Everything in this story is true

And it happend here, in this city.

We were like a family.

Paul, Bengt, Reine, me and Rasmus

Lars-�ke and Seppo

Every year we celebrated christmas at Paul's.

It was there me and Rasmus met eachother.

We were so young.

We loved eachother so much

It was then the sickness came to town.

The newspapers called it
the new cancer.

Dangerous like the black death.

It was like when we were kids
and played murderer and detective.

The murderer was blinking to its victims
and they died.

And you never knew who was the
murderer and who was going to die.

But we died, one after another.

I told you it was to early to plant those flowers,
but you never listen to me.

We said we were going to wait.

We are not going to wait you said.

They are so sensitive I said.

But you had to plant them.

And now the frost killed them, just
so you know.

sixteen people dead.

Three parliament men.

It does not happend here.

Frost in may, what kind of nonsense is that?
It should not be frost in may.

It does not happend here

Try now then.

Say damn.

No I dont want to.

Say damn shit, damn Satan.

Come on now.

Sorry.

Yes
-No

Please
-No wont happend.

It is in my bones you see.

I do not swear.

Can you say darnit?

Shit I can say, not.

Pointless.

And you can't say Oh my God
like Paul does.

Abuse God's name.

Ok, a private question.

Were you allowed to masturbate?

You don't have to answer if
you don't want.

I did it.

I asked for forgiveness after.

It is not really a sin.

They would not ostracize you for masturbation.

But someone is probably against it.

Because you don't focus on God.

But you felt bad after you did it?

No

Because I asked for forgiveness.

But one time I told God that I would do it again,
and I did.

And what we are doing then?

Look, snow. Look.

Hello?

Hey honey, you did not come home
last night.

No, I slept at a friends house.

Was it a brother in our parish?
Someone we know.

No, you don't know him.

Did you eat?

I am making Chili.

We are going to eat when dad gets home.

Then we can talk about your friend
you stayed with.

Where is dad?

He is at a meeting at Kingdom Hall. He will be here soon.

It is good we get to talk.

Your dad has been cencerned about you
lately.

What is it?
You look pale.

It is nothing.

Darling there are so many temptations out there.

Easy to get lost.

I know that, but it's nothing.

Benjamin, my son. I asked you not to write.
I beg you one more time.

Who are you writing to?

Noone

I wanted to say that I am going to move.

But you have a great home here.

Mom, I am 20 years old.

How can you afford that?

I am going to live with a friend.

A friend?

Who? Is it someone we know?

No, noone special.

Is that wise?

If only it was a brother.

Say something.

So many things that can break you down Benjamin.

You have to be watchful.

He does respect your beliefs that friend?

Think about that you can go lost.

Is that what you dream of?

Maybe.

You are sick.

Want to dance?

You have no idea how big this is for me.

Sorry.

Is is us now?
-Mm

Now it is us and a damn alp lake.

How does it look?

It looks good.

Thick and shiny?

Thick and shiny.

What are you doing?

I am preparing a speech I am going to give in Kingdom Hall.

Are you going to give a speech?
-Mm

I do that sometimes.

To the catholic church.

Can I come?

No, you can't.

Are your parents going to be there?

It is not why.

Fuck it then.

Come, it will start soon.

You brought your own I see, what
is it?

Medicin. Helps with the pain in
the mouth

You and your old yeast infection. Yeast are meant for
baking not for the mouth.

stop now and drink some booz.

I heard about people that got cured by eating vitamins.

It is true.

Sorry was that your glass?

Yeah, you can take it.

No I have my own.

Good, it does not matter.

Shut up, it is starting now.

It's not that.
-It is okey, I said.

Can you just shut up.

The Dynasty is not tv, it is a religious experince.

How was the speech?

Yeah

Sorry for before.
-It is okey.

But you.

One thing.

I don't want to be a nobody in my lovers life.

You are not.

What am I then?

Sorry we are late.
-No worries.

We are the swedish sin.

How do we recognize the extremity time?

We can for example look at Paulus first letter
in Tessalonika. Chapter five verse two three.

Rome, koral effilkultes.

Did you find it? Chapter five Margaretha.

Benjamin can read.

Sorry.
-Verse two three

You know very well that Jehovah's day
is coming like a thief at night.

next they see peace and safety
then a sudden perdition.
They will not escape.

Did you call Rasmus parents?

No, I will.

You did not sing?
-No, I don't know that song.

You are a christian and everything.

We don't really sing that song in
Kingdom Hall.

Because you belive in Jehovah?

That did not come out to his parents yet.

Come on, that is not that easy.

It is like Aids. It is not hard to get it. It is hard to make
mom belive you are from Haiti.

But you live together.
-I am his little room mate.

Can we talk abou that another time?

Aww, you are still secret gay.

Bengt is too.

What did you say?

I have come a long way these two years.

Sure, I am still a nobody in my lovers life.

Do not argue now. Cheers now.

Cheers for health.

School you jew.

So what, Jesus was too.

Cheers for Jesus

And for absint friends

For Reine.

I understand.
-Understand what?
I understand.

Thank you.

What happend?

We have to go to Stockholm, it
does not look good.

Where are you going?

Why are you sad daddy?

I just am.

Can you see the white moose?

No

Yeah, you don't see them very often.

Hello.
-Rasmus.

Good you were home,
how are you?

Yeah

Dad and me are reading the paper about A-I-D-S.

They call it the new Black Death.

Are you being careful?
-Yes mom.

They say the people that get it mainly
are the homosexuals.

Yes mom.

But you are healthy we understand.
-Yes mom.

You would tell us right?
-Yes mom.

We are your parents.
-Yes mom.

Give me the phone.

I am reading now Rasmus.

The people that get it usually die within three to six months.

The people that had it two years ago
is it only 30% that are alive today.

And the chances they have to survive is very small.

May I?
Are you still there?

Did you hear what your father said?
-Yes.

This homosex you stared doing in Stockholm
-Mom I have to leave for work now.

We are your parents Rasmus, we know..

We are moving on the the fourth speech.

Welcome brother Benjamin Nilsson to do the fourth
speech.

That is about rich and poor in the eyes of
God.

Go ahead Benjamin.

Whether we are rich or poor the most
important thing is to belive in
Sololomon.

And fear the true God

and keep his commandments.

Because this is mankind's only obligation

Thank you.

Thank you so much Benjamin.

I am so damn sorry that I am not the son you want
me to be but I am homo mom.

I have always been homo, I was homo
when i was five years old.

Rasmus can I say something?

This whole shit is made to scare us back into
the closet.

It wont happen, do you hear me?

You can accept that or fuck off!
-Yeah

Sorry.

I am sorry.

That went perfect.

Next time is you Margaretha.
-Don't remind me.

Are you coming home with us for
dinner darling?

No, I can't. Rasmus is cooking.

Is that more important than family?

No, but he is cooking already.

I am not to happy about this friend, Rasmus was that
his name?

mm

If only he was a brother.

Why is he not coming to this meeting?

He is not, okey?

What is it?
What?

What is on your hand?

Phone number.

To who?

A guy I met that wanted me to call later.

And you wrote it in your hand?

Do you want anything?

Have you heard they are going to build over
the hole at south station?

I is going to be the south's Manhattan
-Yeah I saw that too.

So awesome, skyscrapes and everything.

thirty floor building.

Yeah south station.

I was jacked off by an old man
for fifty crowns when I was fifteen.

Congrats.

I went to Klara norra when I was a teen.
-That was where I met the guy from V�rmland.

A long time ago,
Benjamin darling.

Just so you know, Rasmus wont be a
virgin when you get married.

It was a police razzia at Klara norra. I jumped into a car
and I said can you drive right away.

I am so horny and I want you, and then it was
a man that was like sixty years old.

I don't wanna hear more.

For some reason I always remember that time. The
man was jacking me off and had radio on and I was smoking.

Why do we always talk about sex?

I think I remember it because while he was doing it I was
looking at a window at the same time where the first guy I liked lived.

It was so funny that it was light in that same window.

I think you had enough beer tonight.

It was a psychiatric hospital on the other side too
with dogs that were watching it.

Damn, I almost forgot.

Do you want to know the worst part then?
-What.

That the old men always wanted to know my name,
like I wanted to give it to them.

What did little Bengt say then?

Thomas, hey my name is Thomas.

Sorry I just tasted.

What? Can't you drink it now?

This is damn stupid.

There, lets go to Confetty.

Why have I not see you here before?
-I have not been here that much.

Where have you been then?
-Other places.

I am tired I want to go.
-And I want to stay.

I don't want to take the bike home alone.
-No

Who is this?
-Noone.

I know another place you havent been to.
-Where?
At my place.

Wow, you are in a rush.

That is how it is going to be soon Benjamin.
-For us beliving in the truth yeah.

Yeah that is true.

But that will we try to do.

Mmm

Are you sitting comfortable honey?
-Mhm

You should not let him sit on the blankets.
-If he is hitting on something soft he will feel sick.

I put a potty there if you feel sick.

Now we are going to the ocean.

Is it not beautiful?

Can I take my shoes off?
-Of course you can.

Are you awake?

Are you done with that guy now?
-Yeah

You know I want an open relationship right?

Open to ignore me or what?

What did you do to your hand?

You said that I dont exist.

I am the one that does not exist.

What did you do with your hand? You are bleeding.

I wrote your name in my hands

Maybe we should not be together.

No maybe not.

Okey, sure. Then it is that way then.

So you are breaking up with me then?
-I don't know.

Rasmus.

Let him be. He will come when he is hungry.

Mom, I cut myself.
-Let me see.

Aww, it is only blood.

Blood is not dangerous honey.

Hello?

What are you doing here?

Hi, 198628. You were here and took a hiv test
april 3rd.

I am sorry to say that it was positive, that you are infected.

Of course we want you to come here as soon as possible.

To see what we can do to help you.

You have an apointment on thursday
19/11 at 8.30am

When you will meet therapist Sendra Lindblad
and doctor Arne Hatt.

Best regards Fredrik Nilsson, head doctor.

Hatt, doctor Aren Hatt.

Such a silly name.

Don't leave. Benjamin don't leave.

What happend? What did you do to your hand?

I am homosexual.

Okey.

Are you sure?

I have known it since I was a kid.

You don't have to be.

You can fight against it, many have done that.

If you meet a sister.

No mom, No mom. You don't understand

I want to be.

I have committed fornication, but I dont think it is a sin.
I don't feel guilt

I do not regret it.

We can help you.

Dad and me, we can help you.

Did you pray to God?

I am going to leave the family.

Do you understand?
-Yes I understand.

I know I have two options

I can stay in the family and live alone.

You would not be alone
-I found someone I love mom.

You would not be alone.

I am going to meet Ove and someone else
about that.

Oh God.

Mom do not cry.

What am I going to do then? Laugh?

What did you do now? I just cleaned that window.
-Oops

You can't touch me.

You can get it too.

Plague.

You can never touch me again.

What will happen now?

I don't know

But I will touch you.

Hi, good you are here. Anna Magnusson Rasmus' doctor.

Sara, Harald

We can go in to Rasmus before we talk.

Hey Benjamin.

Hey Rasmus, how are you?

He can't see anymore.

I know you are blind, but I think you can hear.

We came as soon as we could.

Sarah, he is sweating so much.

Don't talk about him. Talk to him.

Rasmus you are sweating so much.

It is a rule within healthcare.

And you can hear us Rasmus, right?

We are here now, all of us.

Mom, dad and Benjamin.

We are all here now.

You don't have to worry.

Hey.

Can we come in?

Brought something to eat with coffe.

Oh, yeah come in.

Are you alone?

Rasmus is not here, if that's what you meant.

No, no, no.

Cake?

We were thinking.
-We did not know if..

I don't know if I have a vase.

Could take a glass maybe.

I don't understand. You said before that you can never know.

That it goes up and down.

That he could live many years. That he could worse or better.

I could propose a respirator.

Eh? Respirator?

Rasmus managed pneumonia before, two times.

The second time it was in a respirator.

We did discuss that. He does not want that.

Yeah, so yeah.

Is there something else we could do?

Napkins..

Yeah this is water with salt in it.

It is for mucous membranes

Yeah, I know. I have been a nurse.

They are pretty.
-Yeah.

Do you want help with the coffe?
-No I am fine.

I don't know what to say.

I am not so good at this.

You can hold my hand if you want.

You've got a little lady hand.

Have you?
-Yes.

Talked?

And you are sure?

Are you really sure.
-Yes I am sure.

There is a cure.
-No mom, that is who I am.

Torn in your flesh. That is God.

I already spoke to the brothers.
-I know.

I said I am no longer a vitness.

You know how it is.

It does not have to be that way.
-You know how it is.

So that is why?

The roses, the cake.

This is my own funeral.

Yeah, it is what it is.

I am happy you are here.

My parents would not have come.

I am sure they would.

No.

Yes, okey.

I am not evil.

No, you are not evil.

But, it is what it is.

I love you.

We love you.

What the fuck. Listen.

Now it happend, that should not happend. An innocent
died from AIDS.

It is a good that got it from a blood transection.

If he is innocent, what are we?

Did you see?
-What?

How the fuck could you date me and stay in the
church for so long?

Priest about homosexuals: Good they get AIDS.

Rasmus, can you hear the woodpecker?

Do you remember it was here we say the white moose?

Where is it now?

A white moose you might see one time in your life.

They are very rare.

But on the other hand, if you want to see one. This is the place to be.

Oh my God, the play will start soon.

Yeah, yeah. It will take the time it will.

Pussy, you always spoil him.

Nice flowers, are they for Bengt?

They were at first. But they look so good me, so
I might keep them.

He is graduating scene school so you can enjoy the
nice damn weather some other day.

You can sit down and wait.

We will call for you.
-Okey, thanks.

I am going to sit there.

It is my leg and my ass, I can't sit
anymore.

They nice suit did you put on at least.

Comfy pants is the only thing I can wear that does
not hurt.

These are my favourites, I was thinking
about having them in my casket.

Yeah why not, Sten had a strike roll in his so.

That was stupid, he did not have a recorder with him that
queer.

Okey, have fun everybody.

You are late.

Why are you always dressed in black?

I wear sackcloth.

I am griefing my lost life.

This will sting a little.

My youth was suddenly gone.

It is like I lived on this earth for ninety years and
I am shouting.

After you and kissing the ground you walked on.

And everywhere I turn I can see your face.

This high face that was shining.
-God, it's good.

I am almost ashamed I wish it's going to end soon.

I am alone in the world.

Bengt.

Bravo.

Amazing how a play can be better if you fucked the
protagonist.

Yeah, I agree.

Have you too with Bengt? That little slut.

Bravo, bravo.

Yeah, we have the results of your test.

And you choose to be anonymus.

Number 1986-037290.
-Yes.

I will open the envelop now.

Bengt.
-Whole family at the same time.

You were soo, the star.

You were awesome.

Bengt, wonderful.

You were all fantastic, it was really nice.

You were so the star.

Bengt, it was so good.
-You think?

Yeah really.
-Makes me so happy.

Have you seen?
-I knew that would happend.

Fun you came to see it.
-Of course.

I am sorry to say it is positive

That means you got it.

Okey, mm.

That is how it is.

We want to follow up on this as soon as possible.

I want you to come here tomorrow.

Then a therapist will be here too.
-Okey.

Then we will take the test again of course.

So we are 100% sure.
-Mm

It could have been wrong of course.

Yeah, can it?

Do you know who I talked too?
-Yeah Susanne Offsten.

Noone missed that.
-I was like yes.

It is now it begins.

Yeah it is, is it not?

Are you going to be okey now?
-Yeah.

Yeah it is okey.
Yeah fuck it is okey.

I am a bit shocked that is all.
-Yeah of course.

If you have any questions you can call us.
-No, it is okey.

Is that true?
-Yeah I am sure.

Do you have anyone at home that can take care of you?
-Hell yeah.

Forced law against AIDS.

Is it raining outside?
-No, it's nice.

Bengt here.
-Hey Bengt.

We just ordered hot shrimp sandwiches at the teahouse.
Wanna come?

I am sorry, what did you say? I am a bit confused.

I said that the class is at the teahouse and everybody in Stockholm are here.
Are you coming?

Okey, yeah. I might come later.

Is everything okey, you sound a bit weird.

No, no. I am fine.

I am fine, I am coming later.
-Okey.

Take care.
- You too.

By the way, did you hear that Lars L�fgren was asking about you?

Dramaten boss?
-Yeah

Oh, damn.
-Half in right.

You are like a star.
-Whole in.

But yeah, see you soon.
-Yeah.

Don't take to long though.
-Mm okey.

I think all of us should go to G�teborg and visit her.
-Of course.

Go away, not now Moppsan.

Benjamin my son, I begged you not to write. I beg you once again.

You have to understand. I love you.
I hope you are good.

But I am pretending that you don't exist.

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