All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S03E02.The.Throuple.1080p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-NTb-eng

- Ah!
David: Oh my God!

Alexis: Ugh!

- Jeez, I'm not out
the door yet!

- Hey, hey, David,
isn't that your friend?

Moira: Oh, I didn't
recognize him clothed.

- Yeah, I don't know
what he's doing here.

- You sure, David, 'cause
I've got a pretty good idea.

- Alexis, don't be crass.

David, is he here to s...

- Oh my God,
I literally told him

to never come back here
while you people were home.

So, I don't...

Um...

What are you doing here?

- Well, I was just
in the neighborhood. so...

- I just thought
after last week,

we decided to avoid the motel.

Like, generally speaking.

Moira: David, what should we do?

- Should we be walking ahead,

how far ahead should
we be walking?

- Uh...
Alexis: I'm just gonna walk,

'cause I don't even care
what's going on right now.

- Keep walking, okay?!
Walk, walk, walk!

Um... what's going on?

(Door creaks open then slams)

- Oh...

- Okay, um, so you weren't here
for me today.

Okay.

- Well, it's just a casual hang,

you know, we talked about it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's totally fine, I'm just...

I'm tasting metal,
for some reason.

Um...

Alexis: Oh God, David,
this is so awkward!

Moira: What? What's happening?

Johnny: Well, I don't think
Jake is here to see David.

- We can hear you.
Very clearly.

- Oh.

Stevie: Okay, He's early.

I didn't know...
- No! No, no.

- Okay, sorry.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Uh...
(Door slams)

- Have fun, you two.
- Oh John, no!

- Oh, right.
- Don't worry, David,

I've been in this situation
like, the most times,

except I'm always the girl
getting into the truck.

- The least they could do
is offer us a ride!

- Okay, let's move please,
people!

♪ ♪

(Birds chirp)

Twyla: All set, Mr. Rose?

- Yes, Twyla, I think
I'll have the eggs,

and brown toast, over easy,

the eggs, not the toast.

- Comin' right up.

- And I think I might
ask for a...

Oh my God!

What happened?

- Well, I went
whitewater rafting,

- Oh no, well, that'll do it,
I mean...

- Anyway, it's fine now.

Yesterday it was
this stabbing pain,

but today it's more like
a really intense throbbing.

- Well, it's not urgent,
not urgent.

I don't need coffee
with breakfast, so.

- I'll grab it right after
I clear these.

- Well, if it's not
too much trouble?

Doris: Can I help you
with those?

- Oh, no, no.

- Oh, you know, I can help,

I can help with that, Twyla.

- No, no, they say it's better
to work through the pain.

Really.
- Oh well, there you go.

If those are the doctor's
orders...

- No, I mean, I can help, Twyla.

I do have a bad back,

But I-I can certainly uh...

help out here.
- Oh!

David: Uh, who picked
through my cake,

and only left the icing?

- Who eats the icing?!

- What kind of barnyard
were you raised in,

where you just eat
someone else's food?!

- So you can share a boyfriend,

but you can't share
a piece of cake?

- I'm not sharing a boyfriend,

Stevie and I are both
dating Jake,

at the same time,

like sexually evolved
human beings.

- Oh, okay, because in my
experience with throuples...

- We're not a "throuple!"

- When it comes to three
people, David,

there's always a favorite.

It's just like how Mom
likes you more.

- That's not true,
and please don't include Mom

in an analogy about
my relationship, thank you!

Moira: David, lunch today?

- No.
- Oh, okay.

Well, I'll dine alone.

- See?!

- See what?

- Alexis seems to think
you like me more.

- Alexis, don't be ridiculous!

It's exactly the kind
of paranoia

that makes me wary of spending
time with you.

- I was sitting right here,

and you chose to eat
lunch alone.

- That is simply not true!

I didn't see you.

At first.

Alexis, I would be
absolutely glee-ridden

if you would have lunch with me.

Today.

- No, no, no, no, no.
I wasn't actually...

- You'll meet me at the cafe
for their one o'clock sitting.

- Something wrong?

- No!

(Birds chirp)

- I should go.

Don't wanna set a bad example

for the rest of the motel staff.

- I thought you were the only
one that worked there.

- Yeah, that's another
good reason to go.

- All right, well,
I'll drive you.

- Mm, I think I'll walk.

I'm trying very hard
not to repeat

what happened last night.

- Hmm, and here I am trying
very hard to repeat

what happened last night.

- (Laughs)

I meant you picking me up.

And David and his family.

- Ohhh!

Yeah, yeah.

Could've timed that one better.

- Yeah. Well, I guess
that's bound to happen

sooner or later in this sort
of situation, right?

- (Sighs)

I'm sensing that
this whole setup

is becoming a bit
of a problem for David.

- Yeah, he's just very fragile.

He's like a snowflake.
- Yeah.

I just think maybe it's time
he and I have a chat.

- Oh! No! That's not...

I mean, that's not
what I was implying!

- No, no, not at all.
This is a...

This is a good idea.

For him and for us.

- Uhhh...

- Here we go, Twyla.

Table Five, a Caprese salad,
and a ginger ale.

- Thank you, Mr. Rose,
I really appreciate this.

- Oh!

Yeah, it looks like
the morning rush

is finally dying down.

Maybe I can get the kitchen
to whip up

a fresh batch of eggs
for us volunteers.

Roland: Uh, Twyla, honey,
whenever you're ready.

- I'll be right there!
- Okay.

- Would you please pass me
my crutch?

- Not a problem.
- Unless...

- No, it's right here.

- No, I was gonna say unless
you could possibly

take their order?

I just need to cash out
table three.

- Sure, no, I can...

I can do that.

You know, it's funny,
I said eggs, but uh...

I'm gonna be ready
for lunch soon.

(Both laugh)

Moira: No, I hear your concern,

it's just apparently
what geese do.

No, it's not the town's problem,

you're just going to have
to watch where you step.

I don't want to hear the-
I don't want...

No, I don't wanna hear that!

(Thuds)

- Okay, I'm gonna take
an early lunch.

Twyla's got a broken foot,
so lunch could take a while.

You coming?
- Yes, let me just get...

Oh wait, I don't think I can.

- Okay, I didn't think it'd be
such a tough decision, so...

- No, Ronnie!

I would love nothing more than
to lunch with you today,

but I believe I'm lunching
with Alexis.

(Laughs) It's kind of a mother
daughter thing.

- Oh, a little bonding time.

- Yes, and what's so wrong
with that?!

- I don't know, is there
something wrong with that?

- Well, just because
my daughter and I

don't do that sort of thing
doesn't mean it's impossible!

- And I'm sure you'll have
a really good time.

- Yes, we will! We will!

Once I break the ice with a
provocative question or two.

- Sure.

- And then there's
the banter about the food,

that always eats up
some time, doesn't it?

- As long as you don't
over think it.

- Oh, no. Ronnie!

If you're still there
when we arrive,

might we perhaps push
our tables together?

- Yeah, perhaps.

(Door opens and slams)

(Car rumbles)

- (Knocks) Hey!

Um, you don't need me to work
through lunch today, do you?

- Would that be to make up
for the work

you were supposed to be doing
this morning?

- I took one tiny break
to watch two episodes

of "Scandal" with Mrs. McCreary,

while she waited for her dog!

- Why do you wanna work
through lunch?

- Um no, I just thought
you might need me,

and um, I wanted to see
if I needed to cancel

this lunch that I have
at the cafe with my mom.

- No need, have lunch
with your mom.

- Okay, cool.

Um, I totally don't mind though,

if you want me to stay.

- Is everything okay
with your mom?

- Absolutely! Why?

- Well, it's just
you've offered to work

through lunch three times now,

and most days I can barely get
you to come back after lunch.

- Thank you, Ted.

No, everything's fine,
it's just... (Sighs)

we don't spend a lot of time
together just the two of us,

which is why it's totally easy
to just raincheck.

- Isn't that all the more
reason to go?

I mean, I try to have
lunch with my mom

at least once a week.

And sometimes lunch
will turn into dinner,

because we get carried away
chatting, and...

- For sure, for sure.

Okay, well I guess
lunch is free, then.

So I guess I will
see you tomorrow.

- Oh, well, there's still
work to be done,

so probably best if you...

come back after lunch.

- Okay, but nothing
during lunch, though.

Maybe?

- Tell your mom I say hi.

- Okay... thanks.

- Well, I guess I was
a bit premature

thinking the morning rush
was over.

- Yeah.
- Here you go.

Table five, seven and eight,

and the big group at twelve,

separate cheques, if you can.

- Thank you, Mr. Rose.

And I've got a steak sandwich
here with your name on it.

- Oh, you shouldn't have!

- Just one thing
before you start...

- Yeah, steak sauce, I know,
you read my mind.

- Actually, I was gonna ask
if you could take this

to table four.

- Oh! Yes, yes, I can.

And then I'll be back
for that sandwich,

avec sauce.

- (Laughs)

- Here you go.

- I didn't order this,
I ordered the fish.

- That's mine, the full combo?

Female Customer: I wanted
to order the fish.

- Well, you can order the fish.

- He told me not to,
he said it was off.

- The fish is off?!

- No, no, the fish is fine,
it's just uh, you know,

it was a bit fishy.

Female Customer: You know what,
I'll just order

the full combo instead.

- Okay, but just to be clear,

the combo is a cup of soup,

and a half a sandwich.
- Then what is that?

- It's the full combo.

- There is no full combo.
- He said there was.

- Well, not-not in those words.

No, I said we'll see
what we can do.

- Well, what's this, then?

- That's just a soup
and a sandwich.

- But there is a deal, right?

- No.

- You said it was a combo.
- No, no,

I said it was like
an evolution of a combo.

- But there's no deal?!

- Well, there is a deal
on the combo,

which is a cup of soup,

and a half a sandwich.

- So what's this gonna cost me?

- Well, I-I think we can uh,

charge you for two uh,
half combos.

- There is no half combo!

It's just a cup of soup,
and a half a sandwich!

- Johnny, if I get
the soup with the brisket,

is that then the full combo?

- Mr. Rose?

- Yeah, I'll fix it, uh, Twyla.

All right, just soup,
and a sandwich.

(Birds chirp, traffic rumbles)

- (Sighs)

(Clears throat)

(Bell jingles)

- Hey!
- Hello!

- Hey.
(Air kiss sounds)

(Laughs) Hey.

- I'm so glad we're doing this.

- Me too!

- When your father comes over,

just act like
everything's normal.

- Is there something not normal
about us being here?

- It's not normal for your
father to be waiting tables

at a rural sandwich counter.

- Eww! What's happening?

- He thinks he's working.

Just play along.

- Well, can I get
you ladies started

with anything that is not
a combo?

- Um, I will have a mixed
green salad,

and some chicken.

- Me too, something in common
already.

- Salads, good. Simple.

- And I will get the dressing
on the side, please.

- You'll get your dressing
on the salad,

like everyone else.

- Hmm!

Hmm.

- (Breathes heavily)

(Exhaling)

- So... huh, this is new.

- Well, a lot more people
are seeing my body these days,

so I just thought I would...

What's going on?

- I just wanted to check in,
you know,

after that whole thing
last night.

- Was it a whole thing?

I mean, I went to dinner
with my family,

and you had a...

romantic rendezvous with
someone that we're both seeing.

So...
- Yeah.

That.

- Well, I'm fine with it.

- Me too.

I just wanna make sure
that we're still fine,

you know, down the line.

Because what if things
get complicated?

- What would make things
complicated?

- Nothing!

But the last thing we want
is a situation

where one person is breaking up
with another person,

and that person is hurt,

because things have gotten
complicated!

- Okay, I'm starting to feel
like I'm trapped

in an Avril Lavigne lyric here.

And while I not-so-secretly
love Avril,

and have paid very close
attention to her battle

with Lyme disease,

um, I don't know why we're...

- Okay.

If you knew somebody
was planning

on breaking up with you,

wouldn't you wanna be the one
to break up with them first?

- Okay, if you think he's going
to break up with you

and you wanna be the first
one to do it,

I say, be the first one
to do it.

- Okay, I'm doing this wrong.

I need to be more direct.

- Yes, by just telling him
how you feel.

I think it'll benefit everyone.

- I meant you!
- Me?

- I'm trying to warn you...

- That you are going to be
ending things with him.

And I appreciate that,
but message has been delivered.

- Oh my God.
- Loud and clear.

- Uh...
(Cell phone rings)

- Oh.

Okay, it's Jake, so um...

- Oh, okay.

Don't worry, I'm gonna let
you tell him.

- Okay.

- Hello?

Yeah, no, I was just um...

I was just doing squats,
actually.

- Ugh!

(Dishes clink)

- Mmm!

Um, I love having salad
for lunch.

It's just, it's not heavy.

- No, well, a heavy salad
might as well be a casserole.

- Mhmm... (Laughs)

- So, how are...

working at the animal hos-

Uh, how is working
at the animal hospital?

- Fine.

- That's marvelous.

And...

uh, your daily exercise
routine...

- What are you looking at?

- It's-well, it's a napkin.
- Let me see this.

You had to prepare questions?!

- I wouldn't categorize them
as questions exactly.

- "What's your favorite color?"

- Black.
- That's one of the questions!

It's right after,

"how is your job
at the animal hospital?"

- Is it a crime, Alexis,

that I had so many queries
for you that I wrote them down

in anticipation
of forgetting them?

- Well, you wouldn't need these
if you were having lunch

with David.
- Oh, Alexis, please.

I wasn't even sure
you'd show up.

- (Scoffs) Why wouldn't
I show up?

- You've never wanted to spend
time alone with me.

There, I said it.

- You never asked.

- Bordeaux?! The trip I planned
for the two of us?

- That was a wine tasting tour,

and I was seven years old!

- You could've used
the spittoon,

That's what the other
children did.

But you weren't interested.

It was as if you didn't want
to be seen with me.

- Well, did you ever wonder why?

- To revel in my misery?

- No, it's because you were
always being recognized.

- Yes...
- No! Not now.

Like, before.

- Didn't you enjoy the warm glow

that Mummy's spotlight
cast upon you?

- No!
- Alexis!

If I'd known you didn't like
the attention,

I would've chosen to be
alone with you,

and not out in public,
among the throngs of fans.

- I don't remember throngs.

I never meant for you
to think that I...

didn't wanna spend
any time with you.

- Well...

I hope it's not too late
to make up for lost time.

- (Sighs)

Okay.

What is your favorite season?

- (Takes a deep breath)

Awards.

♪ ♪

(Crickets chirp)

(Bell jingles)

(Door slams)

- Uh, what are you doing here?

- I'm meeting Jake.

- To break up with him?

- No, I thought you spoke
to him on the phone before?

- I did, he invited me
here for dinner.

- Uh...

- Hi!
- Sorry I'm late, guys.

Oh, you both look amazing.

Great. Muah!

- Oh. Hi...
- Hey. Muah!

- Mhmm. - Sit, please.
- Oh, okay.

- No, I think there's been
a mix-up here.

I don't think I should
be here for this.

- Oh, no, no,

I think it's very important
that you're here for this.

- Okay, here for what?

Johnny: Well, good evening.

- David, Stevie.

- Mr. Rose.
- Hello again.

I take it we'll be dining
together as a group tonight?

Or will you be taking turns?

- Um, first of all,
what are you doing here?!

And second, we're gonna need
a minute.

- So...
- Yeah, sure, take your time.

- Okay.

- David, may I?

- Yeah.

I know this hasn't been
easy on you lately,

and that doesn't make me
feel good.

And I know Stevie's been
feeling it a little bit, too.

- Has she?

- That's why I think there's
only one thing for me to do.

- Oh, I should go.

- No. No.
- Okay...

- I think we all need to be
in this together.

Now, you've been
with each other,

and you've both been with me.

Let's all be...

with us.

- Let's all be with us?

- All of us.

Together.

- Mm, 'kay.
- Yeah...

I don't think that's gonna work.

- Stevie, we talked about this.

- You talked about this?!

- You said you didn't want
to make things complicated!

- Yeah, that's why I invited
you both here.

- (Sighs)

- Wow, okay.

- Hmm, I think maybe I...

misread the situation here.

- Yeah, I think that's a pretty
accurate realization. - Uh huh!

- Might've done.

- Okay.

Okay, maybe it's best
we all just...

take a step back from this.

- Okay.
- Yeah, maybe that's...

that's the best thing to do.

- Mhmm.
- Well...

This one's for you, muah!

And you.
- Oh! I get one.

- Mhmm, muah!
- Okay.

- All right, I'll see 'ya.

Ah!

(Door slams)

- To be clear,

you were going to go
on a date with him,

knowing that he had
just broken up with me?

- No I wasn't.

- Uh, you showed up
for the date.

- No I didn't.

- You're literally here
in the restaurant!

- Because I was gonna tell him

that I was breaking up with him.

- Ohhh, okay.

- Uh, yeah, fine.

(Sighs)

But if it makes you feel
any better,

nobody hates me more than me.

Generally speaking.

- Fair enough, I would've done
the same thing.

- Here you go, Mr. Rose.

This is your share of the tips.

- Oh Twyla, I can't take
any money.

- I insist, you earned it.

- Well, I have to admit,

I haven't worked this hard
in a long time.

- I'm glad to hear it.

(Clinking)

- Although the things
some of these customers

can put you through!

- (Laughs) Oh, I know.

- Joking when you're way
too busy,

trying to tell you how they
want their food cooked.

- I've experienced a bit
of that myself.

- Yeah, you know,
I think maybe um...

you should keep my share
of the tips.

- That's not necessary,
Mr. Rose.

- No, just think of it
as a little reparation pay.

- Well, that doesn't even
begin to cover it!

(Both laugh)