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1
00:00:09,953 --> 00:00:12,993
So, this is the town limits?
2
00:00:13,027 --> 00:00:16,801
Yes, sir, 4,500 acres that ends
right here at the town sign.
3
00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:18,505
And it's all yours, Johnny.
4
00:00:18,538 --> 00:00:22,011
It must be a nice feeling,
considering you don't have a lot right now.
5
00:00:22,045 --> 00:00:24,150
You know, because of
the crooked business manager.
6
00:00:24,183 --> 00:00:25,252
You know, the money scandal...
7
00:00:25,285 --> 00:00:27,889
Yes, I know, I know,
I know, Ray.
8
00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:31,197
What the hell is this?
9
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,135
The town sign.
10
00:00:33,168 --> 00:00:36,174
Is this the real sign,
or the joke sign?
11
00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:37,309
What do you mean?
12
00:00:37,343 --> 00:00:39,647
You don't see anything wrong
with this?
13
00:00:40,515 --> 00:00:41,951
The man!
14
00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:44,423
Standing awfully close to that woman,
wouldn't you say?
15
00:00:44,457 --> 00:00:47,263
Well, he's holding on to her so
she doesn't fall into the creek.
16
00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:49,533
Look a little closer, Ray.
17
00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:51,737
Well, it does need
a little sprucing up.
18
00:00:51,771 --> 00:00:52,906
Sprucing up?
19
00:00:52,939 --> 00:00:54,177
It's very popular,
20
00:00:54,210 --> 00:00:55,612
people come from all over
to take a picture with it.
21
00:00:55,645 --> 00:00:57,149
I'll bet they do!
22
00:00:57,183 --> 00:00:59,820
You know what?
This is coming down!
23
00:00:59,853 --> 00:01:01,324
That's the mayor's family
up there!
24
00:01:01,357 --> 00:01:03,328
That sign's been here
over 40 years.
25
00:01:03,361 --> 00:01:06,100
And you wonder
why this place won't sell?
26
00:01:07,936 --> 00:01:09,907
Oh, I think I see it now.
27
00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:11,611
His shoulders are too big.
28
00:01:11,644 --> 00:01:13,080
Get in the car, Ray.
29
00:01:23,801 --> 00:01:25,839
Moira?
30
00:01:25,872 --> 00:01:28,211
Boy, we've got our work
cut out for us.
31
00:01:28,245 --> 00:01:30,315
But I've seen worse.
32
00:01:30,349 --> 00:01:32,453
It's not a problem.
33
00:01:32,486 --> 00:01:33,521
Moira?
34
00:01:33,555 --> 00:01:38,465
They dare
to call me irrelevant.
35
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,906
Shag carpeting,
that's irrelevant!
36
00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:48,217
LA is irrelevant.
37
00:01:50,455 --> 00:01:53,561
I am relevant!
38
00:01:57,936 --> 00:02:00,909
"Good riddance,"
is what they said.
39
00:02:00,942 --> 00:02:02,679
Who said that, sweetheart?
40
00:02:02,713 --> 00:02:04,483
I don't know!
41
00:02:05,385 --> 00:02:08,858
They're no name commenters.
42
00:02:09,493 --> 00:02:11,431
Tormentors.
43
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,668
Are we having
a bad day, honey?
44
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,171
Anonymous.
45
00:02:16,105 --> 00:02:17,809
Ominous.
46
00:02:19,146 --> 00:02:21,082
That'll be fine, thank you.
47
00:02:21,115 --> 00:02:24,323
I'm afraid I don't have
a gratuity right now.
48
00:02:26,694 --> 00:02:28,531
So, that guy
from the other night,
49
00:02:29,299 --> 00:02:30,569
he's not for me, right?
50
00:02:30,602 --> 00:02:31,737
What guy?
51
00:02:31,771 --> 00:02:35,110
That beardy guy
that I kissed at the party.
52
00:02:35,143 --> 00:02:38,284
He's gross, right?
Like, that's not a thing for me.
53
00:02:38,317 --> 00:02:41,891
There wasn't like,
a spark or anything.
54
00:02:41,924 --> 00:02:44,730
You mean the hitchhiker that was
burning meat over a garbage can?
55
00:02:44,763 --> 00:02:46,567
Yeah, that one.
56
00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:49,005
Have you seen
your mother today?
57
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:52,212
Yeah, she was face down on the carpet
before dragging herself into the closet.
58
00:02:52,245 --> 00:02:53,848
And you didn't say anything?
59
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:57,456
I thought she was maybe looking
for a contact or something.
60
00:02:57,489 --> 00:03:01,296
Yeah, she Googled herself again,
now she's having one of her "things."
61
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,166
How bad is it?
62
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,003
How bad is it? A solid seven.
63
00:03:05,037 --> 00:03:07,208
It's not an eight,
which seems manageable for you.
64
00:03:07,242 --> 00:03:09,513
Well, except I've got a few
things I have to take care of,
65
00:03:09,547 --> 00:03:11,584
so I need you two to go in,
and take...
66
00:03:11,617 --> 00:03:13,555
No, I did Saint-Tropez, so.
67
00:03:13,588 --> 00:03:15,592
And I did her birthday,
and Aspen twice.
68
00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:17,629
And I'm trying to sell
this town.
69
00:03:17,663 --> 00:03:20,200
So, if you kids want any
chance of getting out of here,
70
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,073
you'll help me out,
and go in and look after your mother.
71
00:03:23,106 --> 00:03:24,743
Well, my horoscope said
72
00:03:24,777 --> 00:03:27,483
that I shouldn't assume responsibility
for anybody but myself today.
73
00:03:27,516 --> 00:03:30,187
Yeah, and my horoscope says,
"Why don't you go in and help your mother!"
74
00:03:32,726 --> 00:03:34,597
And don't let her out
of your sight, okay?
75
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:36,534
We don't want her
detonating in public!
76
00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:38,337
I know!
77
00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:40,775
Though it is kind of fun
to watch, though.
78
00:03:40,809 --> 00:03:43,247
Not when you're the one she's
trying to back over with a car.
79
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,282
What's that?
80
00:03:45,117 --> 00:03:46,854
- Eye cream.
- From where?
81
00:03:46,887 --> 00:03:48,491
From Paris.
82
00:03:48,525 --> 00:03:49,727
How did you pay for it?
83
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,564
Oh, one of my credit cards
is still working.
84
00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:53,901
Oh, you're charging things
to your credit card?
85
00:03:53,935 --> 00:03:56,440
I see, and how are you
gonna pay for it?
86
00:03:56,473 --> 00:03:59,346
I don't think you understand,
I already have it.
87
00:04:01,383 --> 00:04:04,322
Well, I know this is a bizarre
concept for you, David,
88
00:04:04,356 --> 00:04:07,829
but if you want cream
from Paris, you need a job,
89
00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:11,303
so you can pay for the cream
from Paris!
90
00:04:11,336 --> 00:04:14,175
Okay, well, tell that to
the bags under my eyes, then.
91
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:16,045
And right after you tell
your next joke,
92
00:04:16,079 --> 00:04:19,085
I want you to go down to the front desk,
and ask what's-her-name...
93
00:04:19,118 --> 00:04:20,220
Stevie.
94
00:04:20,253 --> 00:04:22,425
Where you can get a job
around here! All right?
95
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:24,763
I'm in the middle of getting
rid of an X-rated sign,
96
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:27,836
before it scares off the few
buyers we might actually have!
97
00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:30,040
Okay, I'll get on that.
98
00:04:30,073 --> 00:04:32,779
You want the smooth under eyes
of a 16-year-old,
99
00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:33,881
get a job!
100
00:04:37,021 --> 00:04:38,357
You just need to relax,
101
00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:40,193
because it's not like
your boyfriend left you
102
00:04:40,227 --> 00:04:42,999
for a Scandinavian
flight attendant!
103
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,538
What kind of name
is Kika anyway?
104
00:04:45,571 --> 00:04:47,643
I'm the one that should be in
the closet right now, not you.
105
00:04:47,676 --> 00:04:49,479
Help me out.
106
00:04:49,512 --> 00:04:50,682
- Help me!
- Okay!
107
00:04:51,149 --> 00:04:52,318
Oh, shh.
108
00:04:52,352 --> 00:04:54,422
My foot's fallen asleep.
109
00:04:54,456 --> 00:04:58,096
Hey, shall we see what they're
saying about you and Stavros?
110
00:04:58,129 --> 00:05:00,267
- No!
- It's not my idea!
111
00:05:01,269 --> 00:05:03,474
You were a couple
of doe-eyed lovers
112
00:05:03,507 --> 00:05:08,116
aboard a Transatlantic airship
filled with gas!
113
00:05:08,149 --> 00:05:09,285
You know what I think
we should do?
114
00:05:09,319 --> 00:05:10,855
I think we should go get
something to eat,
115
00:05:10,889 --> 00:05:13,928
because when you're eating you
can't be talking to me, okay?
116
00:05:13,961 --> 00:05:16,165
- You know what I think?
- What?
117
00:05:18,838 --> 00:05:21,242
You date pigs.
118
00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:24,482
Okay, I just remembered that being
a mother is not your strong suit.
119
00:05:24,516 --> 00:05:29,058
Oh, darling,
I'm only telling you because it's true!
120
00:05:29,091 --> 00:05:30,394
And because you gobbled down
121
00:05:30,428 --> 00:05:32,465
a hundred thousand
anti-depressants this morning.
122
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,968
- I was hungry!
- Hmm.
123
00:05:35,137 --> 00:05:36,941
But I could still eat.
124
00:05:42,753 --> 00:05:45,023
Hi, um, question.
125
00:05:45,057 --> 00:05:49,900
If one were to theoretically
look for a job
126
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,603
here in Schitt's Creek,
127
00:05:51,636 --> 00:05:53,875
where would you
128
00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:56,814
suggest that that person
go to look?
129
00:05:56,847 --> 00:05:59,519
Is there, like, a bulletin
board or a pamphlet,
130
00:05:59,552 --> 00:06:00,855
or something
with information on it?
131
00:06:00,889 --> 00:06:03,093
Uh, no, no bulletin board...
132
00:06:03,126 --> 00:06:05,230
What kind of job
are you looking for?
133
00:06:05,263 --> 00:06:08,504
Um, something in, like,
art curating, or trend forecasting.
134
00:06:08,537 --> 00:06:09,572
Okay.
135
00:06:09,606 --> 00:06:11,944
Um, hmm... Let's see.
136
00:06:11,977 --> 00:06:16,119
Not seeing anything in art curating,
or trend forecasting,
137
00:06:16,152 --> 00:06:17,321
that's weird.
138
00:06:17,354 --> 00:06:18,590
Okay.
139
00:06:18,624 --> 00:06:21,195
Um, do you have any other
skills or areas of expertise?
140
00:06:21,229 --> 00:06:23,600
Uh, I've been told
I have really good taste.
141
00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,337
Well, that's good. Um...
142
00:06:26,406 --> 00:06:28,343
Let's see... Oh!
143
00:06:28,376 --> 00:06:30,247
Bag boy at the grocery store.
144
00:06:31,115 --> 00:06:32,485
I don't know what that is.
145
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,556
You put groceries in bags,
146
00:06:34,589 --> 00:06:39,231
so that people can carry their
groceries out of the grocery store.
147
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,438
Okay, and how much do you
think that would pay?
148
00:06:42,472 --> 00:06:45,377
Hmm. I'm gonna say
minimum wage.
149
00:06:45,411 --> 00:06:48,617
Which is what,
40, 45 something an hour?
150
00:06:48,650 --> 00:06:49,719
Mmm-hmm. Exactly.
151
00:06:49,752 --> 00:06:51,590
Okay. Okay!
152
00:06:52,391 --> 00:06:53,827
Well, something
to think about.
153
00:06:53,861 --> 00:06:55,431
For sure, thank you.
154
00:06:55,464 --> 00:06:56,666
You're welcome.
155
00:06:58,704 --> 00:07:02,011
I would like
two apple fritters,
156
00:07:03,747 --> 00:07:08,857
sliver of pecan pie,
large fries with gravy and bacon!
157
00:07:08,891 --> 00:07:11,496
Okay, so, she will have
scrambled egg whites
158
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:13,266
and some steamed spinach,
please, thank you.
159
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:17,475
And some pecan pie!
Onion rings, and ice cream!
160
00:07:17,508 --> 00:07:20,881
Actually, none of that,
and I will have a tea, thank you.
161
00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:22,184
Okay.
162
00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:25,524
Um, Mrs. Rose, are you okay?
You seem a bit...
163
00:07:25,558 --> 00:07:26,793
Mmm-hmm. She's fine.
164
00:07:27,294 --> 00:07:28,363
I'm fine.
165
00:07:41,991 --> 00:07:42,993
Um...
166
00:07:44,228 --> 00:07:47,668
Hey! Stay here, okay?
Don't move!
167
00:07:51,643 --> 00:07:53,379
Oh!
168
00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:55,918
Wow, I'm really bored.
169
00:07:55,951 --> 00:07:59,692
Hey! Hey! Hey, you! Hey!
170
00:07:59,726 --> 00:08:03,500
Hey, so I just wanted to be clear
about what happened the other night.
171
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:05,504
The reason
that I let you kiss me.
172
00:08:05,538 --> 00:08:07,474
Um, you kissed me.
173
00:08:07,508 --> 00:08:09,946
Yeah, no, I can see
how that would be confusing,
174
00:08:09,979 --> 00:08:12,017
but I just wanted
to let you know
175
00:08:12,051 --> 00:08:15,257
that that was just me
going through some stuff.
176
00:08:16,059 --> 00:08:17,194
Cool.
177
00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:19,131
Um, hey!
178
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:22,872
So, why do they give you
table scraps?
179
00:08:22,905 --> 00:08:24,876
Are you, like,
a poor person, or?
180
00:08:26,646 --> 00:08:29,151
Um, no, but thanks for asking.
181
00:08:29,185 --> 00:08:30,654
No, I use it to compost.
182
00:08:30,688 --> 00:08:33,159
You know, that way nothing
gets thrown out.
183
00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:35,463
Composting?
184
00:08:35,497 --> 00:08:38,236
Yeah, no, I...
I know composting.
185
00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:41,576
Um, Gwyneth Paltrow does
a compost gift exchange.
186
00:08:42,778 --> 00:08:44,649
I'm gonna go.
187
00:08:44,682 --> 00:08:47,955
Okay, great, I'm glad that
we could clear this up.
188
00:09:00,079 --> 00:09:01,249
Speak of the devil.
189
00:09:02,284 --> 00:09:03,754
Good morning.
190
00:09:03,787 --> 00:09:06,459
- Ray! Hi.
- Hi.
191
00:09:06,492 --> 00:09:10,367
I just stopped by to make an
appointment to see the town council.
192
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,271
You're looking at us.
193
00:09:12,304 --> 00:09:15,678
I'm Bob, that's Ronnie,
you know Ray.
194
00:09:15,711 --> 00:09:19,351
Yes, yes, Ray.
Spent a wonderful morning with Ray.
195
00:09:19,385 --> 00:09:21,756
Well, I can see you've got a
million things on your plate,
196
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:23,594
so I'll get to the point,
197
00:09:23,627 --> 00:09:24,996
it's about the town sign.
198
00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:28,269
I told you he wouldn't
let this go!
199
00:09:28,303 --> 00:09:31,776
The sign tells people what to
expect when they're in town.
200
00:09:31,810 --> 00:09:34,649
Do you have a problem
with that message?
201
00:09:34,682 --> 00:09:36,452
A major problem, Bob.
202
00:09:36,485 --> 00:09:39,491
Yeah, you see, it's the first
thing you see when you drive in,
203
00:09:39,525 --> 00:09:41,495
and as the owner of the town,
204
00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:46,104
I'd like to convey a better,
cleaner image.
205
00:09:46,138 --> 00:09:49,010
There's a lot of history
in that sign, Johnny.
206
00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:50,714
Schitt history.
207
00:09:50,748 --> 00:09:52,317
That's all we need,
208
00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:55,257
some outsider coming in here
and changing everything.
209
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:58,263
If it ain't broke,
don't fix it!
210
00:10:05,543 --> 00:10:07,682
- Hello, Moira!
- Hi.
211
00:10:08,148 --> 00:10:09,285
Hi!
212
00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:11,790
How are you?
213
00:10:11,823 --> 00:10:13,660
I'm eating egg whites,
214
00:10:14,729 --> 00:10:16,900
and hoping the building
will collapse.
215
00:10:18,002 --> 00:10:21,309
Anyways, I have a giant favor.
216
00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:23,078
Hmm.
217
00:10:23,112 --> 00:10:26,452
My class is putting on a play
for the younger grades,
218
00:10:26,485 --> 00:10:28,122
and I just
219
00:10:28,155 --> 00:10:30,527
thought that you'd be perfect,
220
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,198
you know,
to help coach the kids.
221
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:38,042
Because they'd be thrilled
to have someone like you,
222
00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:40,112
an actual star...
223
00:10:42,551 --> 00:10:44,789
Teach them?
224
00:10:44,822 --> 00:10:49,631
That must have taken
such courage to ask me that.
225
00:10:52,203 --> 00:10:55,510
But in show business
boldness is rewarded,
226
00:10:56,111 --> 00:10:57,647
so my answer is yes.
227
00:10:58,082 --> 00:11:00,520
Yes, yes!
228
00:11:00,553 --> 00:11:01,856
That is such good news!
229
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:03,894
Fuck, I know!
230
00:11:11,375 --> 00:11:13,579
So, how'd it go?
231
00:11:13,613 --> 00:11:16,419
I met with a woman
at a very sad grocery store,
232
00:11:16,452 --> 00:11:20,828
and I have a quote unquote
interview to be a bag boy.
233
00:11:20,861 --> 00:11:23,666
Hey, that's great!
234
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:26,639
That's all that I'm apparently
qualified to be.
235
00:11:26,672 --> 00:11:28,744
- When's the interview?
- This afternoon.
236
00:11:28,777 --> 00:11:31,081
Well, the interview's where you
make your first good impression,
237
00:11:31,114 --> 00:11:32,451
so, it's gotta count.
238
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,889
I'm interviewing to be a bag boy,
not a personal injury lawyer.
239
00:11:34,922 --> 00:11:38,095
David, I've had enough people
hire enough people in my day
240
00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:40,667
to know exactly what they're
looking for in an interview,
241
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,905
so, let's go! Let's get up.
242
00:11:45,309 --> 00:11:46,512
For what?
243
00:11:48,950 --> 00:11:50,286
Come in!
244
00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:54,595
Oh, David Rose.
245
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,168
You're applying
for the bag boy position.
246
00:11:58,202 --> 00:11:59,270
Yeah.
247
00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:02,010
Tell me David,
why do you want this job?
248
00:12:02,043 --> 00:12:03,345
I don't want this job.
249
00:12:03,378 --> 00:12:05,884
Well, thank you very much,
and don't expect a phone call!
250
00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:07,755
- Okay.
- All right, do it right!
251
00:12:07,788 --> 00:12:09,859
Or let's not do it.
252
00:12:09,892 --> 00:12:10,961
Now, we're gonna start again.
253
00:12:10,994 --> 00:12:12,296
- Okay.
- Tell me, David,
254
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:13,967
why do you want this job?
255
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,402
I ran out of eye cream.
256
00:12:15,436 --> 00:12:17,875
Okay, you're not gonna get this job.
You're not gonna get this job!
257
00:12:17,908 --> 00:12:20,079
You know why?
Your attitude sucks!
258
00:12:20,112 --> 00:12:21,515
- Okay...
- And look at how you're dressed.
259
00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:24,555
What is this?
Colostomy bag pants!
260
00:12:24,588 --> 00:12:26,993
I'm the manager
of a family run grocery store.
261
00:12:27,026 --> 00:12:28,362
I'm not gonna hire you!
262
00:12:28,395 --> 00:12:30,667
You're not gonna get the job,
you're the last person...
263
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,470
- Okay!
- Where's your mother?
264
00:12:33,974 --> 00:12:36,044
- Where's your mother?
- What?
265
00:12:37,313 --> 00:12:38,549
- What?
- Where's your mother?
266
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:40,152
She's with Jocelyn.
267
00:12:40,186 --> 00:12:42,591
- With Jocelyn?
- She's fine!
268
00:12:42,624 --> 00:12:44,294
And I'm fine too,
if anybody cares.
269
00:12:44,327 --> 00:12:46,131
I told you to watch her!
270
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:49,404
I did watch her!
I watched her talk to Jocelyn.
271
00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:56,251
Okay, how many of you
beautiful young things
272
00:12:56,284 --> 00:12:57,754
have a background
in the theater?
273
00:12:57,788 --> 00:12:59,490
Raise your swords!
274
00:13:02,998 --> 00:13:07,173
I see, a class grounded
in realism, nice work.
275
00:13:07,206 --> 00:13:10,848
Because that is where
we find our deepest well.
276
00:13:11,816 --> 00:13:13,185
May I be upfront?
277
00:13:13,218 --> 00:13:14,420
Yes.
278
00:13:15,891 --> 00:13:20,132
We're not here to play,
or to have fun!
279
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:26,278
You will work until it hurts!
280
00:13:29,084 --> 00:13:30,988
Hey, come here a second!
281
00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:33,458
Hey, just the man I wanna see!
282
00:13:33,492 --> 00:13:36,699
So word on the street is
that you're all freaked out
283
00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,970
about the town sign,
is that right?
284
00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:41,474
No, no, I'm not freaked out
about the town sign, I just...
285
00:13:41,508 --> 00:13:43,746
And that you have some sort
of problem with my family,
286
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:44,949
- or something, is that it?
- No, no, no,
287
00:13:44,982 --> 00:13:46,151
this is not about your family.
288
00:13:46,184 --> 00:13:47,653
- It's not?
- It's not about your family. No.
289
00:13:47,687 --> 00:13:49,324
- Really? Okay, interesting.
- No, no, no.
290
00:13:49,357 --> 00:13:50,626
In the car, come on!
291
00:13:50,659 --> 00:13:52,330
In, let's go!
292
00:13:54,836 --> 00:13:57,440
Come on, Kaylee, try this.
293
00:13:57,473 --> 00:13:59,410
It's cool.
294
00:13:59,444 --> 00:14:01,314
I can be cool
without drugs, Mark!
295
00:14:01,348 --> 00:14:03,085
Okay, stop! No one speak.
296
00:14:03,118 --> 00:14:04,554
Not a word!
297
00:14:07,593 --> 00:14:09,530
It's not your fault,
the script is garbage!
298
00:14:09,564 --> 00:14:13,605
Okay, which one of you
wrote this?
299
00:14:14,808 --> 00:14:16,178
I did.
300
00:14:17,747 --> 00:14:20,954
Jocelyn, have you ever been
addicted to drugs?
301
00:14:20,988 --> 00:14:22,791
No!
302
00:14:22,824 --> 00:14:24,896
Then write
what you know, okay?
303
00:14:24,929 --> 00:14:28,702
The quiet suffering of a woman trapped
in a relationship with a simpleton.
304
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:31,441
That's not what I know Moira,
305
00:14:31,474 --> 00:14:35,116
and drug awareness
is part of the curriculum, so.
306
00:14:35,149 --> 00:14:36,684
I'm gonna work with these two.
307
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:40,928
What is it that you want?
308
00:14:40,961 --> 00:14:42,296
To go home.
309
00:14:42,330 --> 00:14:44,234
Is that where you keep
the stash?
310
00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:45,569
You want the marijuana?
311
00:14:46,304 --> 00:14:47,373
Yes?
312
00:14:47,406 --> 00:14:52,516
No, you want to be seen,
and heard, and loved!
313
00:14:55,322 --> 00:14:57,426
Now, what is it you need?
314
00:14:57,460 --> 00:15:00,032
It's different, be careful,
what is it you need?
315
00:15:02,803 --> 00:15:04,640
What is it you need?
316
00:15:22,978 --> 00:15:24,414
Okay.
317
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,369
Hey!
318
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:38,308
Um, were you working out
or something? Or...
319
00:15:38,842 --> 00:15:41,614
Uh, sort of.
320
00:15:41,648 --> 00:15:44,956
Okay, well,
I'm sorry for interrupting.
321
00:15:44,989 --> 00:15:48,162
Um, I just... I happened to be
in the area, so...
322
00:15:48,195 --> 00:15:49,330
Mutt?
323
00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:51,801
Um...
324
00:15:52,570 --> 00:15:53,905
- Just...
- Alexis!
325
00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:56,478
Twyla!
326
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,517
I didn't know you two were...
327
00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:02,456
Did you wanna come in?
I was just about to make some tea.
328
00:16:02,490 --> 00:16:04,627
Mmm. No, I'm good.
329
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:06,931
Um, I should be getting back
to my mom,
330
00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:10,406
who's not well, yeah,
so, I'm gonna go.
331
00:16:10,439 --> 00:16:11,608
Okay.
332
00:16:11,641 --> 00:16:13,445
- You guys have fun!
- Thanks!
333
00:16:15,549 --> 00:16:16,986
Bye!
334
00:16:18,322 --> 00:16:20,926
Bye.
335
00:16:20,959 --> 00:16:24,800
That is my great grandfather
up there, Horace Schitt.
336
00:16:25,536 --> 00:16:27,573
He was a visionary, Johnny!
337
00:16:27,606 --> 00:16:29,610
He discovered this land,
he developed it,
338
00:16:29,644 --> 00:16:32,583
and he turned it into the little
slice of heaven that it is.
339
00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:35,189
And I'm proud
of him! You understand that?
340
00:16:35,222 --> 00:16:36,558
Roland, you've got this
all wrong.
341
00:16:36,591 --> 00:16:37,660
Why do you hate me?
342
00:16:37,693 --> 00:16:39,564
I don't hate you!
I don't hate you!
343
00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:41,234
Well then, why do you
have a problem with a sign
344
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,670
that celebrates my family?
345
00:16:42,703 --> 00:16:45,242
It's not, it's just the way
they're celebrating, that's all!
346
00:16:45,276 --> 00:16:47,046
Okay, so now you hate
my family.
347
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,215
I don't hate your family!
348
00:16:48,248 --> 00:16:50,252
Well then, what is your
big fat problem with the sign?
349
00:16:50,286 --> 00:16:51,988
It looks like
your great grandfather's
350
00:16:52,022 --> 00:16:54,594
fucking your great grandmother
right up the ass!
351
00:16:56,698 --> 00:16:59,637
Oh, my... That is so demented!
352
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:02,110
You can't tell me
you don't see that!
353
00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:05,982
Well, you know, now that you put
that creepy thought in my head,
354
00:17:06,016 --> 00:17:09,557
sure, I see it,
but you got it all wrong, pal!
355
00:17:09,590 --> 00:17:12,028
Let me enlighten you,
Mr. Johnny Rose!
356
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,998
That isn't even Horace's wife!
357
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,936
That's his sister.
358
00:17:18,908 --> 00:17:20,979
Well, how does that make it
any better?
359
00:17:21,681 --> 00:17:22,916
Oh!
360
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:25,656
Well, I don't know how they do
things where you come from,
361
00:17:25,689 --> 00:17:26,758
but around these parts,
362
00:17:26,791 --> 00:17:28,728
we don't do that sort of thing
with our sisters!
363
00:17:29,797 --> 00:17:33,372
Roland, how is anybody
driving past this sign
364
00:17:33,405 --> 00:17:36,009
supposed to know the woman
getting banged from behind
365
00:17:36,042 --> 00:17:38,148
is that man's sister?
366
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,852
- Oh, my.
- Oh, my! Yes, oh my!
367
00:17:40,886 --> 00:17:43,558
All right, Johnny,
well I never really looked at it that way,
368
00:17:43,592 --> 00:17:47,166
but now I get it, okay, well,
all right, I'll do something about it.
369
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,368
I'll fix it, all right?
370
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:51,641
And thank you, thank you
for bringing that up to me.
371
00:17:51,674 --> 00:17:52,910
Good.
372
00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:57,152
Good!
373
00:17:57,186 --> 00:18:00,057
Jocelyn, we're going off book!
374
00:18:00,091 --> 00:18:01,861
Well, actually,
we're running out of time.
375
00:18:01,894 --> 00:18:04,567
Forget the lines,
forget the lines!
376
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,706
Let's just be in character,
shall we?
377
00:18:10,077 --> 00:18:12,983
Ugh, could you be stiffer?
Just watch, please.
378
00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:15,889
- Start wherever.
- Um...
379
00:18:15,922 --> 00:18:18,795
Do you wanna smoke a joint?
380
00:18:18,828 --> 00:18:22,135
Oh, Mark,
you are better than this.
381
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,374
You can't let others
define you.
382
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,676
Look at me!
383
00:18:25,709 --> 00:18:28,515
Never let the bastards
get you down!
384
00:18:28,548 --> 00:18:29,650
Can't say bastard!
385
00:18:29,684 --> 00:18:31,120
Okay.
386
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:34,193
You must prepare for life,
and whatever it will throw at you.
387
00:18:34,226 --> 00:18:35,996
The opportunities
will diminish,
388
00:18:36,764 --> 00:18:38,835
and the ass will get bigger,
389
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,806
oh, you can bet
your bottom dollar it will!
390
00:18:40,839 --> 00:18:44,246
Especially yours.
You're going to have a huge ass.
391
00:18:44,947 --> 00:18:47,786
And you, future baldy.
392
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:50,459
Sorry, hairless, homeless!
393
00:18:50,492 --> 00:18:52,496
So what? Who cares?
394
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:56,002
When they get mean,
you tell them to go to hell!
395
00:18:56,036 --> 00:18:59,444
Because only you know
who you are!
396
00:18:59,477 --> 00:19:03,718
And those cruel internet people
cannot take that away from you!
397
00:19:03,752 --> 00:19:06,458
You will forge on!
398
00:19:06,491 --> 00:19:10,932
And you will find some glimmer
of something to hold on to.
399
00:19:10,966 --> 00:19:13,872
And only then will you find
your way back.
400
00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:20,218
Only then will you
become once again who you are!
401
00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:22,356
Lady standing!
402
00:19:32,743 --> 00:19:35,281
Good, you're gettin' the hang
of it.
403
00:19:35,315 --> 00:19:37,653
Well, putting groceries
in a bag
404
00:19:37,686 --> 00:19:39,557
is not as complicated
as one might think.
405
00:19:39,590 --> 00:19:41,928
Watch the eggs.
What did I say?
406
00:19:41,961 --> 00:19:44,199
You said put them
in a separate bag.
407
00:19:44,233 --> 00:19:47,171
Good. Quick learner.
408
00:19:47,205 --> 00:19:49,209
David Rose, line one.
409
00:19:51,414 --> 00:19:53,718
Sorry, I just gotta...
410
00:19:53,752 --> 00:19:55,622
Just one... Thank you.
411
00:19:56,991 --> 00:19:58,060
Hello?
412
00:19:58,093 --> 00:19:59,764
Hey, how's it going?
413
00:19:59,797 --> 00:20:00,999
Yeah, I can't talk
right now, so.
414
00:20:01,032 --> 00:20:02,736
Ah, they're working
you hard, huh?
415
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:05,609
Yeah, I can't talk,
so I'm gonna hang up, bye.
416
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,817
Sorry, sorry about that.
417
00:20:13,625 --> 00:20:15,228
Someone's on
a health kick, huh?
418
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,670
David Rose, line one.
419
00:20:22,041 --> 00:20:24,880
I'm just gonna... Scoot past.
420
00:20:28,421 --> 00:20:30,124
- Yeah?
- You hung up.
421
00:20:32,496 --> 00:20:33,732
Sorry.
422
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,069
Okay.
423
00:20:37,339 --> 00:20:38,975
Where were we?
424
00:20:39,008 --> 00:20:41,046
David Rose, line one!
425
00:20:44,587 --> 00:20:45,756
Right.
426
00:20:47,191 --> 00:20:49,028
Take that off.
427
00:20:49,764 --> 00:20:51,534
Hand that to you.
428
00:20:51,568 --> 00:20:53,471
Now I'm gonna... I'm gonna go.
429
00:20:58,013 --> 00:20:59,850
This is worse.
430
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,186
This is much worse!
431
00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:02,289
You did this?
432
00:21:02,322 --> 00:21:05,027
No, I didn't do this,
I tried to fix this!
433
00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:06,731
Well, it...
434
00:21:06,764 --> 00:21:08,568
It is what it is.
435
00:21:08,602 --> 00:21:09,937
Okay, it looks like...
436
00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:12,108
I know
what it looks like, Alexis!
437
00:21:12,141 --> 00:21:13,210
I know!
31646
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