All language subtitles for S2E16-Horse Wash_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

I wonder where he can
be hiding the carrots.

No.

They got to be here somewhere.

Ed.

Uh-Oh.

Don't ever do that, Wilbur.

My little heart is pounding
like a bongo drum.

When I get through with you,

your head will pound
like a bongo drum.

Just look at this mess.

Holler, but don't hit.

And what were you doing
at my file cabinet?

I was looking under C
for carrot.

Between meals?

I thought you were on a diet.

I am, that's why I'm hungry.

Ed, Ed.

Why did you go on
this diet anyway?

Well, you know that cute
little Spanish filly

we've been meeting
in the park Sundays?

Chiquita?

She digs horses.

You old son of a guns.
You're in love again, huh?

Yeah, one smile from Chiquita,

and even my tail
gets goose pimples.

You sure go for these
foreign fillies, don't you?

Let's see, before Chiquita,

it was a little French filly--
Suzette.

And before Suzette,

that little dark
Italian filly-- Francesca.

[chuckles]
Yeah.

I'm just a gay
international playboy.

Ed, just look at this pigsty.

When I got up this morning,
my mouth was dry,

and I just had
to have a carrot.

Why didn't you eat some hay?

If your mouth was dry,
would you eat hay?

Never mind. Look Ed,

I don't mind you trying
to lose a few pounds,

but I will not stand
for messing up this place.

You're just too darn sloppy.

No, I will not
jump in the lake.

Huh? How did you know
I said that?

I can read lips.

I don't believe it.

All right, then try me.

No, I will not tell you
where I hid the carrots.

Okay, so you can read lips.

And look, you're not going
to get any more carrots

until you clean this place up.

Now get going.

You're awful mean
to me these days.

Just you get in there
and clean it up.

From sunup to sundown,
a horse's work is never done.

Get your work done.
Clean it up.

Wilbur, I just got
a wire from Daddy,

and he's driving in tonight.
Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, joy.

Now, honey, I know you think
Daddy doesn't like you,

but deep down he does.

Then why did he lock me in
the cloak room just before the wedding ceremony?

Now, Wilbur,
you know that isn't true.

You were the only bride

who had to show a claim check
to get a groom.

Look, let's face it.

Your father never forgave me

for stealing you away
from that doctor.

But, Wilbur, you know
I never really loved Henry.

That didn't bother
your father.

He didn't want a son-in-law.

He just wanted
a cheap medical plan.

How long will he be staying?

He didn't say.

He's coming out on some sort
of real estate deal.

Honey,

promise me
you'll be nice to Daddy

for my sake.

Oh, of course.

After all, he gave me you.

Gave?
You know at the wedding,

I had the feeling your father
wasn't giving you away.

He was just sort of
leasing you out.

Oh, honey, thanks.

Wilbur!

Um, hi, Dad, welcome--
Welcome to the--

Oh, hello, Carol.
What is it?

Oh, honey,
you messed up the couch,

and I want everything
to look neat for Daddy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And, Wilbur, shine your shoes
and put on a tie.

Is Dad coming here for a visit
or a barracks inspection?

But, darling,
I want him to see what a beautiful home we have

and how well you're doing.

Why don't you
wear your cashmere jacket?

- My new brown jacket?
- Mm-hmm.

- With the best
white silk shirt? - Yes.

- And that tie you got me
for Christmas? - Perfect.

Good luck, Charlie.

Oh, Wilbur, please.

I heard screaming.
When did your father get in?

We expect him any minute.

Oh, I better go
check the roast.

Excuse me, Roger.

Oh, Rog, when does Kay
get back from Palm Springs?

As soon as my money runs out.

You know, I kind of miss
my nightly fights with her,

so I thought I'd drop by here
and catch one of yours.

Oh, we weren't fighting.

Carol is a little bit jittery
about her father getting here.

Yeah, from my understanding,
he wasn't too pleased

about getting you
for a son-in-law.

He would have preferred
somebody normal.

Oh, cut it out.

Don't let him
upset you, Wilbur.

Try to understand her father.

After all,
Carol is his only daughter.

Oh, I'm her only husband.

Carol didn't to do too badly,
you know.

I mean, I make
a pretty good income,

I have a beautiful home here.
I'm intelligent, personable,

and, if I must say so,
quite charming.

Then why did her father lock
you up in the cloak room?

How did you hear about that?

Carol told Kay.

Wilbur,
at the wedding ceremony,

did you really try to put
the ring on Carol's thumb?

Could have happened
to anybody.

You know what tiny fingers
Carol has,

and I got the wrong size ring.

- Naturally.
- And it was dark in there.

After all, we had
a candlelight ceremony, you see?

And when I reached over to put
the ring on her finger--

Like I said, it was dark.

You're lucky you didn't
marry the best man.

Stop worrying about
your father-in-law, Wilbur.

Now, from what I understand,

he has nothing personal
against you.

Expect for one thing.

What's that?

He thinks you're a kook.

Do you think I'm a kook?

Well, Wilbur, let's face it.

Any man who has
a beautiful wife

and yet spends all his time
with a horse

is hardly the type we pick
to head Mental Health Week.

There's nothing wrong
with a man spending time with his horse

Now, Carol, didn't want me
to tell you this

until it was certain,
but you're in

an excellent position
to land that architect job

on her father's
big real estate deal.

So for heaven's sake,
keep away from that old plug.

look, I don't want
any favors from him.

I'm doing pretty well,
thank you.

If Carol thinks I'm going
to make a big fuss

about her father just
to land some job why--

[engine approaches]

That's him. That's him.

Where's my cashmere jacket?

Carol, where's my tie?

It's in the closet.

Carol, your father is outside.
Open the door.

[doorbell rings]

Wait.

Let me put on
my jie and tacket.

I mean my tack and jiet.

Will you excuse me?

I break up at these
touching scenes.

[doorbell rings]

I can't keep him waiting
out there all night.

Here, let me.

Oh.

He hasn't changed a bit.

Hi.

Had a little accident.

Floor was just waxed.

Floor waxed?
That's carpeting.

Slippery as the dickens
underneath.

Dad, it's so wonderful
to see you.

How are you, honey?

You sure everything
is all right?

Of course, everything's fine.

Mmm, you're looking
wonderful, Dad. How was the trip?

Come on and sit down
and tell me everything.

Yes, sit down,
tell us everything, Dad.

Well,
there isn't much to tell.

How long can you stay with us?

Well, I won't be able
to stay very long, Carol.

You see, there's
a real estate syndicate here, Carmichael and Hogan.

And I may buy some land
from them for a housing project.

Housing? I used to do
all that kind of work.

You're looking beautiful,
Carol.

California really agrees
with you doesn't it, honey?

Oh, we really love it here.

Tell me, how are Aunt Alice
and Aunt Gertrude?

I built a six-story office
building downtown last year.

Oh, they're fine.

And Uncle Joe, is he still
with that hardware company?

Oh, yes. They'll make him
vice president yet.

Yes, siree,
they say it's a showplace.

What's a regular showplace?

The alligator farm.
It's right in the middle of the city.

Would you care to go down
and see it on Sunday?

Why would I want to go
see an alligator farm?

I'm here to close
a real estate deal.

I don't know, I thought you
just might like alligators.

Dad, you must be starved.

Why don't you go upstairs
and wash up

while I put dinner
on the table?

- Fine, honey.
- Here, right up the stairs.

Turn right, you'll
be in the cloak room.

The bathroom. The bathroom.

Oh, I waited years for this.

- For what?
- I'm gonna lock him in the bathroom.

Wilbur.

That you, Ed?

That you, Ed?

Uh-Oh, here comes another
lecture on neatness.

Okay, where have you--

Oh, no.
Ed, look at yourself.

Revolting, huh?

How could you get so dirty?

Well, you know I'm trying
to lose 40 pounds

so Chiquita will go for me.

Yes.

So I went to the park
to run it off.

What park?

Santa Anita.

I came in second.

Don't be funny.

Look, Ed, I don't mind you
trying lose a little weight,

but you're filthy.

I can't stand a sloppy horse.

How could you come in
looking like this?

I tried a Turkish bath,
but they wouldn't take me.

Oh, quiet.
I'll clean you off this time, Ed.

But next you walk in here
looking like that,

you're going
to clean yourself.

If I where your size
you do what to me?

Huh?

Oh.

You forgot
I can read lips, huh?

[chuckles]

Can you read tails?

Read tails?

[laughs]

Figure that one out.

look, Ed, I told you,

you come in here once more
looking like that,

and as far as I'm concerned,
you'll stay that way.

Please, Wilbur,
all the world loves a lover.

And I'm a lover so love me.

Ah, you crazy horse.

[hums]

♪ When the moon
is on the sail ♪

You're really stuck
on that Chiquita, huh?

Yeah, she sure makes a horse
want to settle down.

Have you picked out a place
for the honeymoon yet?

Nope, just a little stall
by a waterfall.

Then one day, the stork may
drop a 100-pound bundle.

Yeah.

Chiquita and me
and baby makes three.

You know, you're not
the marrying type, Ed?

You're more of a lone wolf.

You know,
love them and leave them?

[chuckles]

Matter of fact, I was
like that myself, you know?

You were, huh?

Oh, hello, Dad.
I was just, uh--

Talking to the horse.

Yeah-- Uh, no.

To myself.

Not that I talk to myself,

but where have you been
all morning, Dad?

Uh, looking over
that property.

Is this where you work?

Yes, yes, this my office.

Sit down.
I'll show you some of things I'm working on.

[sighs]

Right now I'm designing a--

designing a medical building,
you see?

I laid out the parking lot
in a L shape

So all the approaches
are centralized.

I've got some
other innovations.

And instead of using
steel posts as bracers.

I'm using an alloy.

And no carrots.

Carrots?

I mean I have no carrots
to give my horse.

If could let me know
what's on your mind

with regard to your project.

Well, I'm not too sure
myself, yet.

When the time comes.

Well, I have an architect
in New York.

Oh, what's his name?
Maybe I know him.

Oh, I don't think so.
He's one of the big ones.

Pretty good, huh?

I always pick the best.

My success has been based
on being able to pick

the right people
for the right job.

If there's one thing
I pride myself on,

it's my knowledge of character.

[phone rings]

Excuse me.

Hello.

Oh, yes, yes. It's for you.

Oh, thank you.

Hello.

Oh, yes, Mr. Carmichael.

I know that you're anxious

to get on with the purchase
of our property, Mr. Higgins,

so if you wish,

we can have our legal staff
rush the contracts

and we could submit it
for your approval by tomorrow.

Splendid,
the sooner the better.

What time can you
drop by tomorrow?

4 will be fine.

That's 17230 Valley Spring.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Well, so far so good, huh?

Yep.

I think our little chicken

is just about ready
for plucking.

Hi, Ed.

Ed, are you in there?

Oh, no.

W-W-Wonderful day, isn't it?

Mmm, sun is shining.
Birds are on the wing.

Dew is on the grass.

And dirt is on the horse.

Oh, could you get so filthy?

I heard mud baths
were good for reducing.

Oh, you did, huh?

Wilbur, I got to lose
18 more pounds before Sunday.

Ed, do you remember
what I told you yesterday?

I forgot.

Wash me down
while you're reminding me.

I told you the next time
you came home dirty,

you could clean yourself up.

Clean myself? How?

I don't know.

Go to a car wash
for all I care.

Ha ha ha! A car wash.

Ha ha! Wilbur,
you're beautiful.

[laughs]

Why aren't you laughing?

I meant what I said, Ed.

You got yourself dirty.

Now you can figure out
some way

of getting yourself clean.

Now, wait a minute,
buddy boy.

I got a big date
with Chiquita Sunday.

I can't show up
looking like a slob.

There's only one chance
you have of getting clean.

What? I'll do anything.
What?

Pray for rain.

You'll turn who
in to the SPCA?

Uh, you and your lip reading.

And I'll break that code
someday, too.

Bah.

- Hello, Carol.
- Oh, hi, Roger.

- Where's Wilbur?
- He's out in the office working.

Any chance of your father

letting him draw the plans
for that big project?

I don't know.

Every time I bring it up,

Daddy mumbles something
about Wilbur being eccentric.

He seems to think that anyone

who has an office in his barn
can't be too reliable.

Well, that shouldn't
make any difference.

After all, it's Wilbur
who designs the plans, not the horse.

Although sometimes I wonder.

Hmm?

It's a beautiful building.

I have the plans
just over at my office.

I can go and get them
if you be interested?

Oh, all right.

Be right back.

Daddy, what happened
to Wilbur?

Oh, he was telling me
about some office building he designed,

and he went out to the barn--

um, to his office
to get the plans.

Dad, now that we have
a few minutes together,

let me try to explain something
to you about Wilbur

Now I know you think
he's eccentric,

but just wait till you
get to know him.

Oh, boy.
That's all I need.

I better sneak over
the back fence.

Now, why would Wilbur
skip lunch to go to a car wash

and want me to bring money?

You should have married
the doctor.

Now don't look at me
that way, Daddy.

That doctor
is a psychiatrist now,

and Wilbur could have been
his best patient.

Hey, Harry.

Do you see what I see?

It's a horse.

What's a horse doing here?

Who knows? Some nut
wants his horse washed,

we'll wash it.

Think we should?

We're not thinkers,
we're washers.

Yeah.

I'll take
the front end, Harry.

Okay, I'll get the trunk.

Okay, Ed, come on home.
You got your laugh.

Hey, what's going on here?

What's it look like,
Mr. Burke?

We're washing a horse.

What's this horse doing here?
What is this, a publicity gag?

I'm sorry, sir.
My horse ran away.

He ran a--

Uh, you fellas
get back to work.

There's some more cars
coming in back there.

And as for you, mister--

Wait a minute.
Hey, this could be good for a lot of publicity.

What a picture for the papers?

Hold him here will you?
I want to go get my camera.

Ed, come on.

Wilbur?

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm wiping Ed down.

Carol if you're sensible--

I've kept your room
back home for you

just the way you left it.

Come on.

Oh, but, Daddy.

Well, Ed, what more could
you possibly do to me?

[metal bongs]

Aah!

It's just a short contract,
Mr. Higgins.

You won't find any
technical difficulties.

I'm sure.

I'm an architect, you know,

and I do know
something about land,

so if there's
anything in the contract you'd like me to explain--

Please, we left the house
to get away from you.

I don't want you to think
that I'm rushing you, Mr. Higgins,

but we do have other clients
interested in this deal.

[phone rings]

Oh, that must be for me.
I hope you don't mind.

My partner
was supposed to call me

at 4:00 sharp on some
important matter.

- May I?
- Certainty.

Um, we have an extension
in the barn.

Help yourself.

- Oh, thank you.
- Sure thing.

[chuckles]

Sure thing.

[ring]

Bill?

Yeah, everything
is coming along just fine.

No he doesn't know anything

about re-routing
the freeway.

No, he doesn't know about

the city putting
a garbage dump out there.

Stop worrying.

The way this deal is going,

I'll have everything
wrapped up in 10 minutes.

Sure is neatly typed, huh?

You know, I've read a lot
of contracts for my clients,

so if there's anything
technical in there

that you don't feel
you quite understand, why--

Oi, you don't like
alligators, huh?

Sorry about the interruption,
Mr. Higgins,

but that was another client
interested in the same deal.

But you got first call.

Eh, this contract looks fine.

Yes, looks like we got a deal.

May I use your pen, please?

Yes, sir.

Just a minute.

Don't you think you should
tell my father-in-law about

the new freeway being diverted
away from this property?

- Free--
- Freeway?

Well, I was wondering
how far you'd go

before you brought that up.

Well, actually I don't think

that rerouting the freeway
makes much difference.

But if it bothers you,
Mr. Higgins, perhaps we could

make some adjustment
in the price?

Mmm.

And while you're adjusting
the price,

what about the new dump
the city is putting next to this property?

Dump?

Well, actually that's a rumor.

The City Council
hasn't voted on it yet.

But like I say, Mr. Higgins,

perhaps an adjustment
in the price?

And how about some carrots?

Carrot?

Uh, he knows what I mean.

No, I don't.

I don't know anything about
any carrot situation.

Well, it's pretty bad.
Pretty bad.

Freeway. City Dump.

Trying to put something
over on me, eh?

No, Mr. Higgins.

It's lucky for me
my son-in-law checked on you.

Good day, Mr. Carmichael.

Good day, Mr. Carmichael!

Wilbur, I owe you an apology.

You're a pretty smart fellow.

Hey, where did you get
all that information?

Straight from
the horse's mouth, Dad.

Mmm.

Well, what's all that for?

For winning Daddy over.

You know what he told me
just before he left?

That I was a kook.

No, that he's glad
I married you.

That's one thing I like
about your father.

When he's wrong, he's
the first one to deny it.

Oh.

I call you
when dinner is ready.

Okay.

Ed, you haven't stopped
eating all day.

What happened to your diet?

I thought you wanted to lose
40 pounds for Chiquita.

I gave her up.

You did? How come?

It she wants
a long skinny horse,

let her get a giraffe.

You know, you're the kook.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man]
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