All language subtitles for S2E15-Zsa Zsa_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello. I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ A pretty little filly
with a ponytail ♪

[clears throat]

And now my latest hit,

"When You Galloped
Out Of My Life,

You Left Hoofprints
On My Heart."

[clears throat]

♪ Well-- ♪

Ed, how many times
have I told you

to stop fooling around
with my tape recorder?

One of these days, somebody's
going to catch you talking,

and your secret will be out.

No, it won't.

I'll just tell them
I swallowed a parrot.

Will you stop making
those awful wise cracks?

Why are you so grouchy today?

I'm sorry, Ed.

I'm just in a bad mood.

I haven't slept
for three nights.

It's that new neighbor
who moved in behind us.

Boy, the noise. It's a wonder
you haven't heard it.

No, I haven't,
but you know me--

I sleep like a horse.

Oh, boy. Well, it's been
going on for three nights now.

Television set blaring away,
hi-fi going.

[yawns]

Some people
have no consideration for others, you know.

Boy, I'm beat.

I think I'll take
a little snooze.

Maybe I'll hit the hay myself.

Whoops, I forgot. I ate it.

[phone rings]

I'll get it.

Thanks.

Hello?

Oh, hi, honey.

Yeah, I was just
going to rest a while.

All right, I'll be right in.

There goes my nap.

Soon as I get comfortable,

my wife finds something
for me to do.

That's why you'll never see
a horse with a wedding ring.

Carol, did you want me?

Oh, Wilbur, I got
the most wonderful idea

from The Decorator's Journal
on how to rearrange

all the furniture
in our living room.

Oh, my aching back.

Honey, would you please
move that couch over here

so it'll face the fireplace?

Carol, Carol, please--

Look, I haven't slept
for three nights. I am worn out.

Well, if you don't
want to help me, just say so.

Okay, I don't want
to help you.

Oh, just a minute. You're not
getting out of it that fast.

Honey,
it'll only take a minute.

Okay.

Never see a horse
wearing a wedding ring.

Hmm?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

Carol?

Hi, Paul.

Hi, sweetie pie, how are you?

Where's Wilbur?
Is he out in his office?

What?

Oh, isn't that interesting?

She's using Wilbur
for a doily.

It's very original,
but I don't think he matches the drapes.

Wilbur.

I think he matches
the rug much better, don't you, sis?

Yes, but he clashes
with the wallpaper.

Oh.

Oh, I must have
dozed off there.

It's those noisy neighbors
we have.

I haven't slept
for three nights.

Neither has anybody else
in this neighborhood.

I came down here to spend
a quiet weekend with my sister,

and it's like living
in a penny arcade.

I'll help you, Carol.

Wilbur, I've drawn up
this petition so we can do something about it.

- Here, sign it.
- All right.

At the bottom.

At the bottom. Yeah.

This is a pleasure, you know.
Boy, they have some nerve.

We-- Oh, you've got
more signatures here

than there are people
in the neighborhood.

Some of the people are so mad,
they signed it twice.

Smart idea.

If there's anything
I can't stand,

it's neighbors
who are thoughtless.

Neither can I,
so give me back my pen.

Sorry. I'm so sleepy,
I don't know what I'm doing.

On account of those neighbors,

I haven't done
a bit of work all day.

Boy, I'd like
to tell them off.

Give me that petition.

I am going to deliver this
personally right now.

That's the old pepper
in there.

Now, Wilbur,
don't do anything rash.

I should have done this
after the first night.

You know, you can
only push me so far, and then watch out.

Somebody should go along
with him.

He might get into a fight.

Hey, that's a great idea.

I'll do the dishes
while you're gone, you tiger you.

Oh, come, Paul.
You're such a fool.

Go on, brother dear. Go on.

Wilbur--

Don't lose your temper.

After all, we hardly know
anything about these people.

- We know they're noisy.
- Oh.

I don't know why
you're backing down so suddenly.

This whole petition
was your idea.

Yes, but it was your idea

to deliver the petition
in person.

I've got a better idea.

Why don't we just slip it
under the door and run?

If you're scared,
get behind me.

Scared? Who, me? Oh.

[rings doorbell]

Yes?

How do you do?

I represent a committee for--

We have-- It's a committee--

We have a--

Aren't you Zsa Zsa Gabor?

Yes. Why?

Oh, allow me
to introduce myself.

I'm Paul Fenton,
a neighbor of yours.

How do you do?

- And I'm Wilbur Post,
also a neighbor. - Hello.

As a matter of fact,

our backyards
touch each other.

How romantic.

You said you are from
some kind of a committee?

Yes,
it's a welcoming committee.

Oh, this is just
an informal visit.

The cake and champagne
will come later.

That's very sweet of you boys.

Wouldn't you come in, please?

Yes.

We can only stay
an hour or two.

This paper, is that for me?

Yes. No!

Oh, no. This is
a little speech we wrote,

but after seeing you,

what is there to say but
welcome to the neighborhood?

How sweet you are both.
Really.

When I rented this house,

I didn't know it's going to be
such a mishmash.

And with my maid
gone for a week,

I really don't know
what I would have done without you boys.

Oh, we'd have been here sooner
if we'd known your predicament.

Where do you want this,
Zsa Zsa?

Well, darling,
why don't you put it

right over there
to the fireplace?

Okay.

I'm so lucky to have
such wonderful neighbors.

Oh, Zsas, one human being
helping another.

That's real togetherness.

That's right.

Darling, you missed
that corner over there.

- Where?
- Right there.

Oh. Oh, I could kill myself.

Are you sure you want it
this way?

Kay, I'm worried.

They've been gone
over an hour.

Something
must have happened.

Oh, what could have happened?

There could have been
a fight.

Not with Paul along.
He's all mouth and no hands.

Wilbur was very angry
when he left here.

I think I'll go over and see
what's happened. Coming?

All right, but I'd better get
some smelling salts first.

Smelling salts?

Yeah. If there was any trouble,
my brother's in a dead faint.

Come on, dear, let's go.
Quickly.

Kay, you're priceless.

Where do you want this, Zsas?

Is that too heavy to take it
upstairs in my bedroom?

No. You say the word,
I'll have it up on the roof.

Be careful, darling. Careful.

Matter of balance, you know.

Careful, darling.

Now that we're on the stairs,
why, we're all right.

Oh, oh.

- [loud crash]
- [doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Paul Fenton,
what are you doing?

I was just mopping the floor.

[Zsa Zsa]
Paul! Darling!

Paul darling?

Hello.

Oh, Zsas-- I mean Zsa Zsa--

I mean Miss Gabor--

This is my, uh--
My, uh--

My, uh--

Sister, remember?

Oh, yes. My sister Kay.

Hello.

Zsa Zsa Gabor.
What a surprise.

So you're our new neighbor.

Only temporarily.
I took this place for a month or two.

I got it.

I got it, Zsas.

Hi, Carol.

Carol.

Willy, Willy, darling,
are you hurt?

No, no, I'm all right, Zsas.

I mean, Zsa Zsa.

I mean--

Try noisy neighbor.

Miss Gabor, I'd like you
to meet my wife Carol.

How do you do?

Carol, this is Miss Gabor.

And I'd like you to meet
Paul's sister Kay.

Kay, this is Miss Gabor.

You've met Paul.

- Yes, of course.
- Paul is Kay's brother.

And you met Carol.

Yes, thank you. Several times.

I think it's a wonderful idea,
this welcoming committee.

Welcoming committee?

Yes.

[phone rings]

Excuse me, I'll be back.

She's kidding.

Hello?

Zsa Zsa, this is Jack Brady.

Have you changed your mind,
sweetheart, about doing that movie for my company?

No, no, no.

Not if I have to ride a horse.

You know I'm deadly afraid
of horses.

Look, I'll ride anything.
I'll ride a train,

a hot rod, a yacht, a boat.

I only ride things with
a motor inside of it.

Goodbye.

That silly man.
I keep on telling him

I don't want to make
his horse picture.

I'm not a cowgirl.
I'm Zsa Zsa Gabor.

I'm not Wild Bill Buffalo.

That's too bad.

You know, if you had
your own horse,

you'd grow to love them.
They're great animals.

I used to feel
the very same way you do,

until we got our Mister Ed.

He's smarter than most men.

Who cares about smart horses?

I feel much safer
on a stupid yacht.

Oh, I don't want to sound
personal, Miss Gabor,

but won't you be losing
a lot of money

by turning down this picture?

Yes, but what else can I do?

Look, why don't you
drop by the house and meet our horse?

I'd like to show you
how gentle and friendly these animals can be.

Thank you very much,
but I don't want

to put you both
through too much trouble.

Oh, no. No trouble at all.

I mean, after all, what are
welcoming committees for?

Hi, Ed.

Hi.

I'm going to spruce you
up a little.

Zsa Zsa Gabor
is coming over to see you.

Who's he?

It's not a he, it's a she.

With a capital she.

Miss Gabor is one of
the most glamorous stars in Hollywood.

Pretty legs?

Uh-huh.

How many?

Two.

Not interested.

Ed, I want you to be

on your best behavior today.

See, Miss Gabor
is deathly afraid of horses,

so I want you to be
real friendly.

Okay, the minute she walks in,
I'll jump in her arms.

[Carol]
Wilbur, Miss Gabor is here.

Tell her
to come right in, dear.

Look, I want you
to be extra-nice.

Don't do anything
that might make her nervous.

- Oh.
- Hold still.

[grumbles]

Right in here, Miss Gabor.

That's Mister Ed,
right in there.

[crunches]

Hi, Miss Gabor.

So this is Mister Ed.

Yeah. Won't you come
and meet him?

No, thank you.
If you don't mind,

I'll just stay here
and wave at him.

Hello. Hello, horse.

Is he a natural blond?

Well, all palominos are.

Goodness gracious.

Most women spend a fortune
at beauty shops

to get what he's born with.

May I take your coat?

- One minute, please.
- Oh, yes.

Don't be afraid of him.

No, I'll try not to be.

Thank you.

Oh, my, what a beautiful mink.

I'd better take it inside
and hang it before it gets dirty.

Be right back.

Thank you very much.

- Ah, there you are.
- Thank you.

Now, the first thing
is to let a horse know that you like him.

Won't you come
a little bit closer?

Thank you.

Don't be afraid, Miss Gabor.
He's all right.

Look at those great
big brown eyes, huh?

Are you sure he's not
going to bite me?

Oh, no, you'll never see
a gentler horse than Ed.

You know, he reminds me
very much of Prince Bandini.

He has the same type of nose,

except the Prince has a bump.

[nickers]

Ah! He growled at me.

No, no. That's just Ed's way
of saying hello.

Watch how smart he is.

Ed, bow for the lady.

Bravo.
He has wonderful manners.

You know, I don't seem
to be so afraid of him.

Willy, I would like
to ask you a favor.

You know it would mean
a great deal to me if I could do that picture.

Well, what can I do for you?

Do you think
it would be possible

for me to come over here
a couple of afternoons

and sit on the horse,
so I get accustomed to him?

Oh, of course.

And to make sure
he's nice and soft,

before you get here,
I'll stuff him with hay.

Now, don't make
too much noise, anybody.

I don't want Mister Ed
to be nervous

on his first day with me.

Come on, boys.
Bring the ladder, please.

Helen, you hold his back end,

And, Marie,
you hold his front end.

Thank you.

Now, Mister Ed,
please behave yourself.

Just hold him quietly
on both ends.

Oh.

Look, everybody.
I'm sitting on a horse.

Thank you, thank you.

It's so nice up here.

Now come on, kids.
What are we waiting for? Come on.

Eddie, that's my good,
beautiful blond horse.

That's a good,
beautiful horse.

There, my dear.

Thank you, dear.
Now give one for Mister Eddie.

Well, now, what was the letter

I want to dictate to you
this morning?

Oh, yes. It went to
the Tiffany's Jewelers in New York.

Gentlemen darlings,

last month,
an acquaintance of mine

sent me a beautiful pair
of diamond earrings

for my birthday
from your shop.

I would very much appreciate

if you would make up
a matching necklace

for my next birthday--

Which will be, incidentally,
in about two weeks.

[phone rings]

Hello?

One moment, please.

A transatlantic call
from the Duke of Morovia.

Oh, the Duke.

Tell him to call me back
when he's a king.

Marie, darling,
the perfume, please.

There. Thank you.

I'm going to give
a little perfume to Mister Ed.

Look at him. He's smiling.

He likes it.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Mr. Post?

This is Jack Brady
at Brady Productions.

I want to thank you
for all the help you've given Zsa Zsa.

She's really fallen in love
with that horse of yours.

Oh, I was sure she would.

Well, no, no,
I don't mind Zsa Zsa riding Ed in the picture.

What?

You're shooting the picture
in Australia?

That's right.
We'll be gone for at least six months.

Now, I'm willing to pay you
$5,000 for that horse of yours.

Well, no, Mr. Brady.
I couldn't do that.

I couldn't sell Ed.

Look, we're sailing
tomorrow at 4:00,

and I've already
promised Zsa Zsa we'd buy him.

$5,000. Please, think it over.

Please.

All right, but I won't
change my mind.

Ed is not for sale.

Goodbye.

$5,000 is a lot of money.

I can't let him
turn it down.

How do you like that, Paul?

Zsa Zsa's producer
wanted to buy Ed.

Of course, I turned him down.

Naturally.
How much did he offer?

$5,000.

$5,000?
And you turned him down?

Ed's like one of the family.

Well, so is Addison,

but for $5,000,
I'd send him to Australia.

Wilbur, don't be a fool.

You call up that producer
and grab that money

before he sobers up.

I couldn't do that to Ed.

Will, what's the matter
with you?

Think of your wife.

For $5,000, you could buy her

that mink coat
she's been talking about.

I know Carol
wants a mink coat,

and I'm going to get her one.

On my own.

And in time.

And on time.

I'll get her one
when I can afford it.

By that time, you can get her
a silver gray one,

to match her hair.

Ed, what are you doing?

Packing my gear
and extra shoes.

- I'm leaving.
- Where you going?

Well, Zsa Zsa wants me
to go to Australia with her.

Zsa--

To Australia?

Well, Ed, do you want to go--

I mean, and leave me?

If I don't hitch my wagon
to a star,

somebody hitches
a wagon to me.

Well, if that's the way
you feel about it--

That's the way I feel.

Well, Ed,
then I guess this is goodbye.

But you'll be seeing me
soon, Wilbur--

On that big screen
in glorious color.

Well, Ed, let me help you.

Honey?

Mr. Brady's check
just came in.

Special delivery.

Swell, swell.

We'll look at
some mink coats tonight.

You really miss Mister Ed,
don't you?

I suppose I'll miss him
the first couple of days.

Honey, why didn't you ask me
before you sold Mister Ed?

I knew how much
you wanted a mink coat.

A mink coat doesn't mean
that much to me,

not as much as losing
Mister Ed means to you.

I'm going to send this check
right back.

Carol, it's too late.

No, it's not.

It's an hour before
the boat sails.

Honey, you're being
very sweet, but--

/gIt's hard to explain,
but I have the feeling

that Ed really wanted to go.

Honey.

Oh, I sure miss you, Ed.

Well, at least I can still
listen to your voice.

Nobody sang
"Pretty Little Filly" the way you did.

[Mister Ed]
Hi, Wilbur.

By the time you hear this,

I'll be on my way
to Australia.

I didn't really want
to leave you, buddy boy,

but $5,000 is a lot of money,
and I know you can use it.

[sniffles]
I hope Carol likes the mink coat.

I'll never forget you.

Your old stablemate, Ed.

[ship's horn blows]

Miss Gabor, we can't possibly
put this horse in a stateroom.

Please, this is not a horse.
This is my co-star.

Zsa Zsa, it's regulations.

All livestock has to travel
in the hold.

Not my Mister Eddie.

I won't let them
treat you like an animal.

If he travels in the hold,
I travel in the hold,

and I refuse to travel
in the hold.

Miss Gabor,
please be reasonable.

I am being reasonable.

Look, I'm not asking you

to put him up
at the captain's table.

All I want him to have
a comfortable cabin

so he can live
like a human being.

Forgetting rules, Miss Gabor,

we don't have
any accommodations.

Then he's going to sleep
with Mr. Brady.

Now, just a minute, Zsa Zsa.

Mr. Brady, here's your check.

I'm taking Ed back.

What are you talking about?
We made a deal.

Well, I've changed my mind.

You see, I thought my wife
wanted a mink coat,

but she'd rather have Ed.

Listen, I've got a fortune
sunk in this picture.

Zsa Zsa says she won't make it
without your horse.

If you pull him out now,
I'll sue you for every penny you've got, I promise you.

Who says I won't
make the picture without this horse?

You said it.

Oh, if you listen to me,
you'll go crazy.

I can ride any horse
in Australia,

and if it has to be,
I'll ride a kangaroo.

Goodbye, Mr. Wilbur,

and goodbye, my sweet,
darling Mr. Ed.

I have a secret for you.

You are much sweeter
than my prince.

It isn't difficult, either.

- Goodbye, Miss Gabor.
Bon voyage. - Goodbye.

Merci.

Come on, Jack. Let us go.

Come on, Ed.

Well, you really cured
her fear of horses.

Yeah, and she cured my fear
of Hungarians.

Come on home, Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

Miss Gabor's clothes
by Maxwell Shieff of Beverly Hills.

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.