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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:05,771 - Ray, come on. This is gonna be -worse if I leave it.. 2 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:07,439 - You're supposed to leave it. 3 00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:09,274 That's the "let it sit" rule, right? 4 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:10,676 I love that rule. 5 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,511 - Yeah, I never should have taught you that. 6 00:00:14,114 --> 00:00:17,216 Ooh! I never should have taught you that either. 7 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,084 - Get away from me! 8 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,426 - Hey, we're in here. Occupied. 9 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,128 - What is going on? 10 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,463 - Big-shot cop here wants to give me a ticket. 11 00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:35,801 - I don't want to. I have to. 12 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,404 - End of the month-- he's got a quota. 13 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:41,273 - You hit my patrol car. 14 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,710 - I'm your father! 15 00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,678 I don't care if I killed a guy. 16 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,580 You're supposed to look the other way. 17 00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,482 Right? 18 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:54,386 - Dad, whatever you do, I want to look the other way. 19 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,788 - I can't look the other way anymore. 20 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:57,623 You drive like a maniac. 21 00:00:57,625 --> 00:01:02,394 And dad backs out of the driveway without looking. 22 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,629 - The car shouldn't have been there. 23 00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:06,832 - On the street? 24 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:10,102 - So call it a hit-and-run. Say you never saw the guy. 25 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:11,103 - I can't lie on the police report! 26 00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:15,240 - Because I have a moral obligation as a police officer. 27 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:18,577 And I almost got caught for lying for you the last time. 28 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,245 Now, let me see your license. 29 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,314 - Sorry, sally. I'm fightin' this. 30 00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,516 - There is black and white on the side of your car. 31 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,519 - I hit a penguin! 32 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,655 - I'm writing the ticket! 33 00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:32,825 - That's barone. 34 00:01:32,827 --> 00:01:36,595 B-a-r-o-n-e... 35 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:39,631 As in "the man from whose loins you sprung." 36 00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:44,136 By the way... 37 00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,872 I hope you have someplace else to sleep tonight, 38 00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:49,508 Because if you try to come home, 39 00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:53,178 I'm going to have you arrested for breaking and entering. 40 00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:04,690 - Does that couch pull out? 41 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:21,573 Is there going to be, like, a court date? 42 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:25,144 Because I would take off of work for that. 43 00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:27,679 - I might just give him a warning. 44 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:32,351 - Oh, wussy-wuss-wuss. 45 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,721 Come on, you got a chance to get even with this guy. 46 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,422 - I don't know. 47 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:38,624 - What do you mean, you don't know? 48 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:41,793 Remember what he's done to us? 49 00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:45,864 Remember "guess that smell"? 50 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,167 "the killing of the tooth fairy"? 51 00:02:49,536 --> 00:02:51,937 "liver week"? 52 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:54,239 - Liver week was my fault. 53 00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:57,543 It would have been one night if I just could've swallowed it. 54 00:02:57,545 --> 00:03:00,412 - Ray? Listen, I've decided. 55 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,481 I don't want frank driving the kids anymore. 56 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,815 - What? 57 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,584 - I don't want him driving the kids. 58 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:06,852 It makes me uncomfortable. 59 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,487 - Because of the swearing? 60 00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:11,657 - Because of the driving. 61 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:13,892 He's not a safe driver. 62 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,827 - Yeah, well, I don't think I can tell him 63 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,829 That he can't drive his own grandkids around. 64 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:21,233 - Why not? He's too aggressive. 65 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:24,503 - That's why I can't tell him. 66 00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:25,671 - I can't believe 67 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:28,440 The way your whole family protects frank. 68 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,542 You know, he's got everybody so intimidated. 69 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,478 Good for you, robert, for giving him that ticket. 70 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,614 - Yeah, well, he's just giving him a warning. 71 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:38,350 - Well, I can't live over here forever. 72 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,552 Can I? 73 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,854 - No. 74 00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,489 - Then it's just a warning. 75 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,225 - Wuss. 76 00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:47,893 - You're the wuss. - How am I the wuss? 77 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:48,927 - Let me show you how you're the wuss. 78 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:49,928 - All right. All right. Okay. 79 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,530 Ray, okay, okay. 80 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,631 You know, he's right. 81 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,366 At least robert stood up to frank. 82 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,534 You, on the other hand, 83 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,502 Would put your own children in jeopardy 84 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,805 Just to avoid an embarrassing conversation. 85 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:02,808 - Hey, our kids are not in jeopardy. 86 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,009 How do we know robert 87 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,611 Isn't the one who caused that accident? 88 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,913 - It's liver week again! 89 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:13,885 [baseball game plays on tv] 90 00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:17,556 - Who wants to go to the happy zone? 91 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,424 - I do! 92 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,959 - Then get in the car. 93 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,028 And I hope your dad gave you some quarters, 94 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,430 'cause I'm not the bank. 95 00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,936 - Uh, you know, I-I forgot it was happy zone day. 96 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,504 - Every other Saturday. 97 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,905 That's what you wanted, wasn't it? 98 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,908 So you could catch up on the cleaning. 99 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,278 Well, maybe we should do it more often. 100 00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,682 - Last one in the car's a rotten egg! 101 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,051 - Uh, ally, yeah, yeah, wait a minute, honey. 102 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:47,419 - Uh, ray, maybe you should go with them 103 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,955 - No, no, no. When everybody goes, 104 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:53,659 Then this becomes the happy zone. 105 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:56,628 - Yeah, well, maybe you should just go anyway, you know. 106 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,330 You--you take the kids, 107 00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:59,564 So they won't mess up frank's car. 108 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,366 - Well, I-I'm not so picky 109 00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:05,437 Now that robert got his stupid cop paint on it. 110 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:06,705 - See? Everything's fine. 111 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,040 - Come on, marie! 112 00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:11,043 - Ray, maybe you're not hearing me. 113 00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:14,012 - I'm hearing you make trouble. 114 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,048 - Okay, I got juice for everyone--here we go. 115 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,683 - Ray? 116 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:21,053 Ray, ray, ray wants to drive. 117 00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,954 - I didn't say that. 118 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,624 - Okay, fine. 119 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:28,760 I'll go to the happy zone! 120 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,330 - They may not let you in with that attitude. 121 00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,899 - Okay, mommy's driving. 122 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,500 - Then why the hell am I going? 123 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,035 - Because it will be fun. 124 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,072 It'll give us all a chance to spend more time together. 125 00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:43,942 - I thought the point was to give you a day off. 126 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,711 Not that I ever got a day off. 127 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,447 - You can take off anytime. 128 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,649 - That's it. I'm riding with debra. 129 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:52,351 - Then who's going with me? 130 00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,619 - All right, marie, you take my car and drive the kids. 131 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,655 I'll ride with frank. I want to talk to him anyway. 132 00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:57,789 - All right! 133 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,492 Look, I'll drive with my father. 134 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,494 You go with debra and the kids in our car. 135 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:05,564 And this way, there doesn't need to be any talking. 136 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,432 - Why are you going? 137 00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,701 - Why? Because I shouldn't miss out on the happiness. 138 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:16,775 - Hi, grandpa. - Yeah, yeah. 139 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,777 See, now there's a line for skee-ball. 140 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,146 We're screwed. 141 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,949 - Where have you been? - We ran into traffic. 142 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,117 - It wasn't traffic, dad, 143 00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:27,452 It was a funeral procession. 144 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:30,122 - One less idiot in the world. 145 00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:31,890 - That's a terrible thing to say. 146 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,625 You don't even know the person. 147 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:37,496 - We met the family, and believe me-- 148 00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,731 The family von idiot. 149 00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:42,033 - You met them? 150 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:45,470 - During the fight. - [gasps] 151 00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:46,671 - What fight? 152 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,173 - There was no fight. 153 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:51,676 They didn't want to get their good suits dirty. 154 00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:52,711 - What happened? 155 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,613 - A few people-- 156 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:58,116 I don't know, I guess they were the mourners-- 157 00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,719 They got a little upset, 'cause we almost caused a pileup 158 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,555 When dad cut off the hearse. 159 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,990 - Frank. 160 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,058 - What kind of rush is he in? 161 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,561 He's dead. 162 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:12,664 - Hold me, please. 163 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,732 You were right. You were right. 164 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,167 He shouldn't be driving the kids. 165 00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:17,202 He shouldn't be driving at all. 166 00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,137 - What are you blubberin' about? 167 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,772 - You. You. You're a terrible driver. 168 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,574 - I'm a great driver. 169 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,942 - Dad, we almost got hit. 170 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,511 - It was in my blind spot. 171 00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:30,515 - A 20-car funeral procession? 172 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,717 That's not a blind spot, dad. 173 00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:35,220 That's west. 174 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,988 - You're exaggerating. 175 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,857 - You're a hostile driver. 176 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,959 - He's a hostile person. 177 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,494 You should see him brush his teeth. 178 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,763 [growling] 179 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,198 - Debra's right, dad. 180 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,999 You're not driving the kids anymore. 181 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,101 - What's this about, debra? 182 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:53,004 - Uh...Talk to ray. 183 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,175 - All of a sudden, I'm not driving the kids? 184 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,810 Where is this coming from? 185 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,246 - From my near-death experience! 186 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:04,182 It's amazing your license hasn't been revoked already. 187 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,051 - Ah, let 'em take it. 188 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:09,488 The damn thing's expired anyhow. 189 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:12,624 - Frank, you told me you took care of it. 190 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,593 What the hell's wrong with you? 191 00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,529 - You're--you're driving without a valid license? 192 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:20,031 - I didn't want to wait in those long lines. 193 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:23,902 Besides, I kind of like the picture on this one. 194 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,172 See? Ten pounds lighter and more hair. 195 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,608 - This expired last year. 196 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:33,144 - I am not driving with you until you get that renewed. 197 00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,981 - That's incentive? 198 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:40,552 Why couldn't my marriage license expire? 199 00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,053 - Hey, hey, what are you doin'? 200 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,122 - You're not getting these back until you pass a driving test. 201 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,757 - Are you out of your mind? 202 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:46,825 Give me those damn keys! 203 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,860 Hey, hey, come here. 204 00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,295 Hey! Come on, come on, come on, come on. 205 00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:53,064 Hey! Hey! 206 00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,904 I'll walk. 207 00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:13,051 [horn honking] 208 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,820 - Dad, it's 7:00 a.M. What the hell are you doing? 209 00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:18,189 - Let's go. My test is at 7:30. 210 00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,791 - What--what test? 211 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,593 - At the dmv. 212 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,695 I gotta take the stupid test again, 213 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,798 And they got some rule about going with a licensed driver. 214 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,567 - I'm not going now. 215 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,268 [horn honking] dad... 216 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,103 Stop it! Dad! 217 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,672 - Barone, you stupid ass! 218 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:34,773 - Hey! I'm on it! I got it. 219 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,108 [horn honks] 220 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:40,312 All right, dad. I'm coming. Shut up. 221 00:09:42,715 --> 00:09:43,949 - Good morning. 222 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:48,653 - How'd you get the keys back from mom? 223 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,990 - That was... Not pleasant. 224 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,259 But I found the remote. 225 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:57,362 - Yeah. Come on, let's get this over with. 226 00:09:57,364 --> 00:09:58,830 Car! Car! 227 00:09:58,832 --> 00:09:59,965 [horn honks] 228 00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,266 - Aw, wait your turn! 229 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,201 - Dad, what are you doing? 230 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,003 You didn't look. You didn't signal. 231 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,805 - There was plenty of room. 232 00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:08,039 - This is the kind of stuff 233 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,341 That's going to be on the test, you know. 234 00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:10,942 - Ah, come on, they're not gonna have 235 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,978 That beginners' crap on there. - Yes, they are. 236 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,713 You gotta do it. You gotta look in the mirror. 237 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:15,981 - Yeah, yeah. 238 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,083 - And both hands on the wheel, 10:00 and 2:00. 239 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,184 Both hands. Sit up straight. 240 00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,752 - Aw, come on! 241 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:24,322 - Yes, and you have to signal every time. 242 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,691 - There's only one signal you need. 243 00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,360 Let me find it. 244 00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:32,097 Here it is. - Dad! 245 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,898 That's a lady, dad! 246 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,034 Oh, great! She's giving it back. 247 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,769 Good. 248 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:41,206 That's good. Two fingers before breakfast. 249 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,674 - Driving test. 250 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,775 The next thing I know, 251 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,176 They'll have me take a walking test. 252 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,811 - Stop sign. 253 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,812 - Breathing test. 254 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:48,680 - Stop sign. 255 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:49,881 - Bathroom test. 256 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,750 - Stop sign, dad! - What? 257 00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,252 - What are you doing? You went through a stop sign! 258 00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:57,656 - That's called a "rolling stop." 259 00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:00,692 What? There was nobody coming. Saves the brakes. 260 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,394 - Yeah, tell that to your instructor. 261 00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:05,430 You know what he'll give you? A bus pass. 262 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,866 - I don't need you telling me how to drive. 263 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,200 I taught you. 264 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,402 - Yeah, well, great. I'll use your method. 265 00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:11,970 After everything I tell you, 266 00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,773 I'll just add the word "stupid." 267 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:17,842 - Fine, then I'll burst into tears. 268 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,310 [imitates a young ray] "don't yell at me. 269 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,446 [imitates crying] 270 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:25,116 How can I drive when you're yelling at me?" 271 00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:35,427 - I'm trying to help you, okay? 272 00:11:35,429 --> 00:11:37,395 Do you want to pass this test or not? 273 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,731 - Don't worry about me. 274 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:42,067 This whole family is a bunch of pansies. 275 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,836 I've been driving for 50 years. 276 00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,938 - Yeah, maybe that's enough. 277 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,741 - What's that supposed to mean? - Nothin'. 278 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,209 - Let me tell you something. 279 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,145 When I started, you needed skill to drive a car. 280 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:58,383 No automatic transmission, no power steering, 281 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:01,319 No cup holder. 282 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,155 Yes, sir, you needed a little muscle, nancy. 283 00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,156 - Dad! 284 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,158 [brakes screech] 285 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:11,830 - Don't yell at me! 286 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,065 - You could have hit that guy! You didn't see him? 287 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,268 - I-I saw him. He--he stopped short. 288 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,437 - No, he didn't, dad. He's at a light. 289 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:25,210 How am I supposed to think and drive at the same time? 290 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,445 - Yeah, right. Right. 291 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,147 Green light, dad. 292 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,149 - I know! 293 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:32,884 [horn honks] 294 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,954 Oh, oh, excuse me. I forgot to signal. 295 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,234 - What happened? 296 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,035 - He passed. 297 00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:02,147 - He passed? - He passed. 298 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:05,350 - Wait, just--just the written part, right? 299 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,319 - No, everything-- 300 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:13,124 The writing, the driving, the seeing. 301 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,194 - They gave him a new license? 302 00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,962 - Yeah. 303 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:21,833 Pretty good picture, too. 304 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:25,270 - What kind of government is this? 305 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,305 What do you mean? 306 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,407 They--they just gave your father a new license? 307 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:33,244 They're just giving stuff away over there! 308 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,580 My god. All right, hey, I'm going to go out tomorrow 309 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,982 And get my pilot's license. 310 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:41,486 Yes, and then I'm gonna, oh, perform a few marriages, 311 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,322 And then I'm gonna open a casino. 312 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:48,993 - Hey, while you're at it, get a masseuse's license. 313 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:49,994 - Why are you just lying there? 314 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,162 What are we gonna do now? 315 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,530 - What? What are we gonna do? 316 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:54,132 He's got a shiny, new license. 317 00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:58,369 Mine expires before his does. 318 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,405 - Well, just because he slipped through the crack-- 319 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:03,608 This incredibly huge crack-- 320 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,076 Doesn't mean he should be allowed to drive. 321 00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:06,611 We still have to talk to him. 322 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:10,548 - No, no. No. 323 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,116 I'll tell you--I'll tell you what has to be done-- 324 00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:14,085 What I've been saying all along. 325 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:16,321 All the cars should be made out of nerf. 326 00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,491 - This is your solution. 327 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,093 - Yeah, that's it. 328 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:25,196 No, no metal, no glass. Crashes are now fun. 329 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:27,098 - Ohh, I see. 330 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,334 You've really thought this through. 331 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,970 What happens to your nerf car when it rains? 332 00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:35,173 - You wring it out at the light. 333 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:36,474 Rain? The real problem is the wind. 334 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:39,410 Aah! My car. Aah. 335 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:50,188 - The real problem is that now your father 336 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:53,024 Has the state of new york behind him. 337 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,226 - Yeah, well, they better not try to pass him, 338 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:58,162 'cause he'll flip 'em off. 339 00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,431 - So this doesn't worry you? 340 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,067 - Well, look... 341 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,136 The thing with my father is, he-- 342 00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:07,338 He always drove fast and took chances, you know. 343 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:11,309 But he had the moves to back it up. 344 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:14,245 Now... 345 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,414 - He's getting older, ray. 346 00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:21,386 - Yeah, but he passed the test. 347 00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,354 And I-I gotta tell you, 348 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:27,525 I was a little proud of him, you know, 'cause... 349 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,662 Maybe that means that... 350 00:15:30,664 --> 00:15:34,132 He's not really that old. 351 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:37,335 - I know it's hard, you know, 352 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,570 Especially when they live right across the street 353 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:43,074 And you see them every day-- 354 00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:47,512 Sometimes two, three times a day. 355 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:50,148 And, you know, you don't notice that they're getting older. 356 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,683 - Yeah. 357 00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:53,484 I guess all that time 358 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:56,287 He spends with his head in our fridge... 359 00:15:56,289 --> 00:16:00,258 Keeps him fresh. 360 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,427 - Sometimes I don't see my parents for, like, three months, 361 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:07,098 And then when I do, suddenly, they're older. 362 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,435 - That's the better way. 363 00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,537 - So, listen, what about the driving? 364 00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:17,241 - Well, I think we got to be adults here, you know, and... 365 00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:21,112 Every morning, let the air out of his tires. 366 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,281 - No, you're right. We have to be the grown-ups now, 367 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:24,749 'cause that's what happens, 368 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,484 And we're just gonna have to tell them... 369 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,420 They can't drive the kids anymore, 370 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,556 And he shouldn't be driving at night, 371 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:34,192 When the weather's bad, 372 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,528 Or anywhere there's people. 373 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,263 - While we're at it, why don't we tell him 374 00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:43,267 How much tv he can watch and how much candy he's allowed 375 00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:45,370 And make him tie his retainer to his belt loop 376 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:48,439 With fishing line so he doesn't lose it. 377 00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,677 They did that to me. 378 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,618 - Well, maybe you'll do better with them 379 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,254 Than they did with you. 380 00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,123 - This--this driving thing-- 381 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,058 It's just the beginning, isn't it? 382 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,493 - Yep. 383 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,261 - Okay, all right, we're the parents now. 384 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,030 I'll tell you one thing... 385 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,664 You're giving them the sex talk. 386 00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,804 - Hey. - Hey. 387 00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,139 - You know who I saw last night? 388 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,307 - Who? - Bobby koch. 389 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:25,343 - Bobby koch... What, from little league? 390 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,078 - That's right. The lanky guy. 391 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,446 - Yeah? How's he doing? 392 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,081 - Remember when we used to make fun of him 393 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,215 For throwing like a girl? 394 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,450 - Yeah. 395 00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:36,187 - Turned out to be a cross-dresser. 396 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,655 - Get out of here! How do you know? 397 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,725 - I arrested him. 398 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,595 - You can arrest someone for being a cross-dresser? 399 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:47,632 - You can when he's beatin' up a guy with a baseball bat. 400 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,240 - So what does he look like in a dress? 401 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,609 - Not bad. 402 00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:09,253 - Hey, robert. 403 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:12,123 Dad look like he's gettin' old to you? 404 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:15,393 - Is this the rest-home discussion? 405 00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:19,464 Because I got some brochures in my room. 406 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:22,100 - I mean, what is he now? He's, like, 66? 407 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,768 - Raymond... 408 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:28,106 The man is gonna live for many, many more years, 409 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,707 And you'll feel much better 410 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,810 Once you make your peace with it. 411 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:37,148 - No, I mean, it's just... 412 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,383 Hey, you want to be a parent one day, right? 413 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:41,219 - Yeah, sure. 414 00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:44,555 - I was thinking of a really good training program for you. 415 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,258 - Hey. - It's a boy. 416 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:51,162 - Where's ally? 417 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,630 The movie starts in half an hour. 418 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,831 - What movie? 419 00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,166 - I told ally I'd take her 420 00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:58,269 To that new piece of animated crap. 421 00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:02,473 I mean, you know, it's no little mermaid, but then... 422 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,777 Amy wanted to go. 423 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:10,148 - Hey, sweetheart. Go get your raincoat. 424 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,749 - It's really raining, huh? 425 00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,217 - Yeah. 426 00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:15,820 - Hey, maybe I'll go with you. 427 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,255 - You want to go? 428 00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,756 - Yeah, yeah, I like those movies, you know. 429 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,892 Plus, it's the matinee, right? 430 00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:22,460 You get the matinee price. 431 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,696 You mind watching the twins till debra gets home? 432 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:28,266 Sure. - Yeah, okay. 433 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,334 - Hey, ray... 434 00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:37,341 Here. 435 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,676 - You givin' me these? 436 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,278 - You're driving. 437 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,215 You got a problem with that? 438 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,284 That way, I'll have both hands free for signaling. 439 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,390 - Bye, uncle robert. - Bye, kiddo. 440 00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:54,392 Listen, about the movie... 441 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:57,628 Don't get too attached to the zebra with the... 442 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,230 Well, you'll see. 443 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:04,502 - Hey. Oh, boy. 444 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,736 - Hey, you're payin' for the movie. 445 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:09,307 - Okay, don't worry about it. 446 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,576 - And I want lots of candy. 447 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,911 - That's gonna ruin your dinner, though. 448 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,713 Don't jump in the puddles! 449 00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:25,389 - Debra, penney's is having a sale on athletic socks. 450 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:28,292 Anybody need socks? - I think we're good. 451 00:20:28,294 --> 00:20:31,395 - I'm pretty low. We should swing by. 452 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,964 And I need to get to the post office before it closes. 453 00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:36,601 - Okay, okay whoa-whoa! 454 00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:38,436 - Hey, that moron cut you off. 455 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:39,737 - All right, it's all right, frank. 456 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,872 - Hey, hey, wait. No, you can't be a doormat. 457 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,808 Excuse me, honey. 458 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,009 Grandpa has something for that man. 459 00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:47,712 - No, frank, no... 460 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:50,548 - This is for you, ya stupid, stinkin' hump!32852

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