Original subtitles

Hello?

What time is it?

What happened?

Which month?

Who is it?

I don't remember hiring a new assistant. What happened to Dimitri?

Do you think I have to call his family?

He sent me a mug or something.

What happened?

Why did you wake me up?

Late? Late for whom?

To society? I'm not part of society.

I'm an outsider.

Yeah, Google it. Outsider.

Have you seen how many colors I have in my hair?

I'm not gonna be the one to tell you

what time you should call to wake me up.

This is your job, honey.

Tell me, did a country video leaked or Anita made a new video

for me to react?

Then don't piss me the fuck off.

Whatever.

What are you doing here, Cleiton?

I've made strawberry pancakes.

I've only booked two hours with you.

-Try it. -You spent the night

cause you wanted to. I'm not paying

anything else, okay? And you can go after the pancakes.

Can't I be here just cause I like to be here with you?

Cleiton, I pay an escort for him not to like what I do

with him, understood?

I already have thousands of kids who love me.

I never know when you're in character or not.

I'm gonna show you something I've never showed anyone.

-You wanna see the other character? -Yes.

-I'm Nelito Bruno, right? -Right.

Now I am...

Nelito Bruno.

-Bad ass. -Got it?

Nelito Bruno.

-Nelito Bruno. -It's like a completely different person.

I see that.

-Is it yummy? -I love anything with strawberries.

Nice. Because I'm making some videos

with pancake recipes, it has the

one with strawberry, the light one,

whipped cream. It's looking great.

It's called Cleiton's Pancakes.

Take a look at it later.

Got it! You want me to post your pancake on my Instagram.

-Yeah, that would help. -So you slept with me for me to post`

your pancakes? Make up your mind.

You're either a male prostitute or you have a pancake channel.

You can't do both.

-This channel is my dream. -Listen,

if I help your pancake channel be a success online

you become competition and stop escorting.

I don't want either of those things. Got it?

I can't help you with your dream.

But I pay to make mine come true.

In my opinion, that's helping also.

Are you still there?

Where is the video I have to react today?

Listen, I want this video sent to my email by 2pm, got i?

Okay, so I want it by 4pm.

Is this for real? More boxes of this fucking pig?

I'm not the onde ordering, Erasmo. There's already

twenty boxes with these piggies and no idea what to do with this shit.

-We need to speak to Borges. -Oh, great idea!

How did we never think of that every time we tried to find Borges,

a federal police fugitive,

after he left us this bankrupt company and 800 mil Reais of debt.

And 20 boxes of this piggies we can't sell.

Twenty three boxes of this piggies we can't sell.

Fuck, the boxes don't stop coming.

Wow.

Are you really gonna take another dump? Really?

Taking a dump is not the only thing I do in life, okay?

Just a second, sir. I do serious things.

Respect me as a human being.

That's all I ask, respect me. I'm serious.

We're fucked, you know?

We created this channel to try and save

this fucking importer from bankruptcy, but we have more debt,

less people and more piggies.

If we don't get a miracle, I'm shutting this down.

Good morning.

Is that Borges?

-What are we supposed to do? -Dye it.

-What color? -First turquoise and then magenta.

Okay, so that's right.

-What kind of videos do you make, sir? -First of all, don't call me sir, okay?

-Sorry. -I am 35 years old, but I say I'm 20.

That's why those kids love me.

The only thing I do is lip fillers every six months.

But that's normal, everybody does it. It's like weighing yourself.

It's... It's raw back here.

-Where? -Where there was supposed to have hair.

It's kinda raw and it's dripping something.

-It's dripping. -Oh, no. That was Dimitri,

he put insect repellent to achieve this marvelous

-salmon color. -Repellent?

That's why it looks so good.

Got it. Why do you do that? People ask you to do that, sir?

-Honey, why do you think people watch me? -I don't know.

Because of my content?

-Have you ever seen my standup special? -No.

No, honey. No way.

Some people do too many ads.

Some people talk shit about other people to get views.

I do all of that, but my difference

is that I pay the prize with my body and my health

-to make money, you know? -I know.

That's how it works.

-Oh, my God. -What?

There's a bump in the back of your neck. Sorry.

-Is there any pus? -I think so, because it's big,

-and it's kinda green. -That's it.

-That's it. -What?

If I keep doing that until July,

I promise I'll have two more bumps

just like this one. Green. Do you like this challenge?

No, I don't think it's good for you. This is too big.

-Get my things. -Where are we going?

Don't know, I need inspiration, honey.

-Sir, your teeth. -Stop calling me sir.

I'm pretty much a boy.

Give me that shit. What the hell?

Do you need help, sir?

Yeah?

-Borges? -Yeah?

-What are you doing here? -What am I doing here?

Working. Isn't that what you wanted? That I came to work?

Of course it was.

But you've been kinda MIA, Borges.

-MIA? Since when I come to work everyday? -Since never.

But this time has been what? About two months you don't show up?

You would only miss work for two weeks, tops.

What Rosana meant by MIA was a fugitive from federal police.

Maybe that's what got our attention.

Oh, come on, you guys.

Everybody has had problems with the justice.

Sonia, you never got a ticket?

Never had to redo your taxes?

Never had to go to the police station about an illegal brothel

-that you ran in your house? -That's what Erasmo does.

-He said it was a baby shower. -It was a baby shower.

Things got outta hand, the clientes had too much to drink

and didn't want to pay the hookers and the strippers I hired for the baby shower.

Guys, relax.

I know you guys were worried, but I am taking care of everything.

It was a misunderstanding, soon things are gonna go back to normal, okay?

Let me ask you something, Mr. Nelito.

Weren't we supposed to be in disguise so no one would recognize us?

Because if I'm a parent and I see

a guy sitting down dressed like that watching my kids...

-I would call the cops. -Shut up, Pablo.

Idea number one for a video: If this video has more than 300 likes,

I'll dye my hair the same color as mermaid Barbie.

No. Idea number two:

Get in a bathtub full of Barbies and chocolate.

-Pretend you are talking to me, Pablo. -We are already talking.

No, there's a parent looking funny at us.

Say anything. So what do you do?

What do I do? I work for a very old import company. Borges Imports.

-We also make internet videos, sketches... -I don't give a shit about your channel.

You're supposed to pretend, not really talk.

Just make noise, say: blablabla...

-Don't, otherwise I can't have ideas. -Okay, got it.

Sorry, sir...

That's right.

-Hi. -Hi.

Excuse me. What's happening here?

I don't get it.

It's the third time this week that a lunatic shows up wearing a trench coat,

a hat, making some weird noises, scaring the kids.

-Who are you guys? -I bet your kids know who I am.

We are here to record, to watch the kids,

-to check what attracts them online. -I'm calling the cops.

No, wait, ma'am. We work online, that's what I meant.

-You think this is an anarchy? -No.

-This is not a place to punk anyone. -Yes, ma'am.

Last week they found a dead kid here inside a cardboard box.

Behind that tree, it was horrible.

-Nice! -What?

Pablo, we need a big cardboard box, big enough to fit a person.

-Help! -No! Wait!

He's talking about online stuff, ma'am.

Guys, wait.

-Run, Pablo, let's go. -Let's go. Come on.

Borges, what are you doing?

What do you mean? Working.

I've never seen you work since you opened the company three years ago.

What's going on?

Okay, I figured out a way

to solve our problem and help the company.

-May I know how? -I'm gonna tell you that

these piggies might be worth more

than what their receipt shows.

-I don't get it. -I'm gonna tell you that

inside of them there's a white powder

that people like to sniff and that they would pay millions for this shipment.

I'm not here to play enigma. Say it.

Here's the deal.

This, all of this

is not mine. And I'm pretty sure you don't wanna know who's it is.

But you guys started this joke of a channel

online and I have no idea who might had seen it.

Now I have to get this outta here before someone comes looking for it.

I don't get it, Borges.

Listen, if you help me get this out of here, it's the end of our debt.

We will have money. You understand?

It will be over.

Hi, sons and daughters of bitches!

I'm Nelito Bruno

and today I am not gonna dye my hair,

and I'm not gonna shower in cream. You know why?

Because the last video didn't have any likes

and it didn't have enough shares like we talked about. Right, sons of bitches?

Look, do you guys know what that is?

That's right, it's a cardboard box.

And this is my assistant Pablo.

-Say hi to them, Pablo. -No, please, sir.

Today we are gonna have the challenge:

Nelito Bruno by mail!

And I am gonna send me to myself via Fedex!

I'm gonna be locked inside this box

for 24 hours

with the help of only this bottle of water right here

this basket with 30 rolls of bread.

And this potty. Yeah! Hold this.

Share this video before it ends!

-How do I turn this off? -There's a button on top.

Right there. Red. That's right.

Mr. Nelito, are you sure you wanna do that?

That's so annoying, Pablo! I have food, water,

a bag for my excrements.

What can go wrong?

Give me that shit.

The water.

-My camera? -Here it is.

-Fuck it, close it. -Okay.

-Wonderful. -Can you breath?

-It's great! -Okay, so now... What's that?

My phone.

Just a second. Hi, Rosana. Be quick.

-Pablo, where are you? -At a gig.

-Hurry up, what is it? -Pablo, Borges is back.

We are gonna figure out our lives, the debt,

the lawsuit, everything. Where's the company's car?

-We need it right now. -Okay, I'm leaving.

-I'm leaving. -Pablo!

Hurry up!

If we get there after 5pm it's gonna cost more.

If I get stuck two more hours inside this box because of this,

-you are fired. -No.

-And I'm gonna humiliate you. Let's go. -Mr. Nelito, relax. I'm gonna take you.

Be strong, Pablo.

Sometimes...

Geez...

Is everything okay?

Guys, I've been here 40 minutes.

I already used the potty twice.

Take a look. Look.

The bread feel on the floor. Can you see?

I don't think I can eat this.

The water is gone,

because I had to clean up the vomit.

But everything is alright, I only threw up a little bit. I think.

I couldn't even imagine it would be this hot.

It's really hot.

It's... I think...

Pablo, get me out of this shit.

Mr. Nelito, it will be quick, it's on the way.

Let me explain. My boss had disappeared

and now he showed up out of nowhere.

And now we have a channel online somewhat successful

and I am 800 thousand in debt. That's it.

Pablo, get me out of here!

I'm claustrophobic!

I just found out!

The shaking is not helping either.

-Pablo, get me out of this shit! -Bump!

-Guys, really? Borges came back? -Where were you?

-Doing some private stuff. What happened? -You have another job?

You can't even call it work. It's some online thing. Talk to me.

You have another comedy channel?

No, it's not a comedy channel. It's a channel...

It's sad, really. It's a drama. Tell me what happened.

Wonderful. Everything is fine up here.

This is the 30th time Borges says everything will be fine.

It can't get any worse.

And that's the 20th time you say that in three years.

-And? -This time it can't really get any worse.

Guys, listen. Wonderful.

Just be careful with your feet, it it falls on your shoe, it ruins it.

-What are you doing, Borges? -What is that?

What do you mean what am I doing? Oh, this shit here that you use

to make videos, you can sell it for good money, don't throw it out.

This is not shit, it's our equipment. We were robbed.

-Wait. Is this gasoline? -No.

No, gasoline sucks to set stuff on fire.

It smells, it does't really burn well.

That's kerosene. Much better.

And that's your plan to help us out of this shit? Burn down the company?

That's the second part of the plan. The first part

are some silverware I put in the microwave. I left it on.

We have time to go to Tap Crepe, order an açaí,

relax. The fire is gonna start here

and we will be there eating. Perfect alibi.

Are you out of your mind? First of all, Tap Crepe closed down. Done.

First of all, watch your tone. No one is yelling, you don't have to yell.

Okay? And what is your problem? Huh?

Isn't what you guys wanted? Are you nuts? I disappear,

you're clear of all the debt, make money. What's the problem?

I even thought that one day this was going to

end, but I didn't think it was gonna be exactly like this.

I also thought it was gonna be different. Borges would deceive us again.

And he would set the place on fire.

Actually is very similar to what I imagined.

Guys, I know. It's pretty obvious

that what we are doing here is wrong, that will probably end badly.

But it would be the first time that we would get screwed by our won doing.

I don't know about you guys, but I want to get screwed,

be broke by my own doing, not because of Borges.

Let's think about this.

If we leave now,

we are gonna miss the chance to screw up with our lives ourselves.

Well, I don't know how the job market is, but it doesn't look good, you know?

Two more months I would have to cut up Nelito's body.

And if I have to do that, honestly, I rather do it with Erasmo.

That's right. I'm not going back to being an employee. Sorry.

Really? So you better run,

because the shit I put you in is gonna start to stink

-and it smells like something is burning. -The microwave.

-Let's go, guys! -The microwave!

The microwave!

Hurry up! Where's the fire extinguisher?

-We don't have one. -Grab water.

-It got disconnected last week. -What are we gonna do?

Turn the microwave off!

-Turn off the gas! -Where?

-Where do I turn off the gas? -Gas got disconnected last week.

So unplug it! Hurry!

-Kerosene will make it explode! -I'm not gonna unplug it. Wait.

I think the electricity just got disconnected.

That's good, right?

I think so.

That's good. Yes.

Oh, no!

-Nelito. -What?

Nothing.

Are you leaving?

No.

I was just gonna...

get my jacket in the car.

Didn't you sell your car?

No. Actually my car was

auctioned.

So was the jacket.

I know how it is.

I no longer have a car or an apartment either.

Do you still live in Rosana's living room?

I did. But she had to move out, so she moved

to her friend's living room and I moved to the floor of that living room.

Me and Robson.

But if you really think about it, it's like Rosana's living room's

living room, but

smaller, harder and colder.

It could be worse.

I have my own bedroom at...

my mom's apartment.

Sometimes I think that we should have done a make-up channel.

Easier to do, you make a lot more money and you don't get death threats.

I don't know if there's a segment online that receives death threats.

I think it was more specific to us really.

I'm just saying that at least we wouldn't be offending anyone.

You know? Make-up channel doesn't offend anyone.

-It's a good sing. -But there's no way of knowing.

-Our background is not Internet. -Nor imports.

It seems like we were working like

a fake company to launder money to an international drug cartel.

Not really. That was Borges' expertise.

We tried to help someone, Seu Juca, and he ended up in jail.

-He just wanted to sell desserts. -This is what I think: at least we tried.

So many people let life pass them by and they think:

"I didn't try to do anything." We've tried.

These people must feel like fools

to be 27 years old

and own a car, a house, a tv,

food, medical insurance...

-You have to be kidding me. -What?

-You have to be kidding me. -What?

Where do you get so much food to poop so much every day?

-Stop it, dude. -I'm drinking water.

Where do you get all the raw material to poop so much?

Stop, dude! Isn't this situation

enough? You have to make it even more embarrassing?

-Embarrassing to me. -Okay, Erasmo, stop.

Shit.

I can't handle it.

Hi guys. I came here to apologize for not posting anymore

on my channel, but this time it wasn't my fault.

The truth is that I, once again, have been a victim

of the big multimillionaire international corporations

that want to destroy me.

I have a print screen from the analytical

and proof that I was a victim

of a boycott of a channel called

Borges Importer LLC.

If anyone knows what LLC means, please, let me know.

I still haven't been able to figure it out.

I'm gonna post their link down here.

Please report. We have to end this channel.

-Sons of bitches and daughters of bitches. -What?

I was kidnapped and sent to Venezuela

-where I spent the last... -They want to destroy me.

Okay? I have a print screen from the analytical

and proof that I was a victim

of a boycott of a channel called

Borges Importer LLC.

If anyone knows what LLC means, please, let me know.

I still haven't been able to figure it out.

I have a print screen from the analytical

and proof that I was a victim...

Borges Importer LLC.

I could have hired any moron to be my interpreter.

But I hired you, Stevan.

And if it wasn't for me, you would be dead.

I didn't hire you to be my nurse, I hired you to be my interpreter,

a guide that would soften things up for me.

I'd rather be dead than to be going back to Brazil.

But you didn't take me to the cartel in Venezuela.

It was your idea to come here. It was your idea to go back

to steal from your employees once again.

-No, if you had taken me to the cartel... -Really?

You wanted to get involved with the drug cartel again?

It worked when I had to stall the hunters.