Original subtitles

-What is this garbage? -Was this supposed to be funny?

It must be, it's on this list of the most watched videos

of Eastern Europe. It only lost to a couple having sex with an old tractor

-on a farm. -Maybe that's what people wanna watch.

-Because our videos are not doing well. -That's messed up.

That's messed up, we've been working hard for weeks and then a garbage channel

copies our video. And gets more than one million views in a country

in the shits of Eastern Europe where they have a bloodthirsty dictatorship,

violence, racism, they make fun of handicap people

and people applaud this? It's our ideia, our video.

Fuck.

-But that doesn't work in our favor. -Of course not.

We were the ones who were supposed to be making this money, not them.

That's not what I was saying. If our

video is being a hit in this kinda place

we are doing something wrong.

We are. I don't know about you guys,

but I'm tired of being the world's punching bag.

Respect me as a human being.

I've said this a thousand times and you laughed at me.

Because when you say it it's funny, but now...

-it's no funny anymore. -So if I say it, no one will laugh?

Pablo, is still funny, I'm talking about me.

Me as a human being, I'm tired of being the world's punching bag.

I'm over it, enough.

And there's more, that's not the end of this.

Why when she said "that's not the end of this"

it was in a tone like "Pablo is gonna get fucked

so that's not the end of this?"

That has to be a sign.

-What kinda of sign? -That we could be doing

something else with our lives, except for online videos.

In the beginning it was cool, but now we are even more in debt.

Aren't you proud? Cause I'm kinda proud of my new profession.

Proud... I'm not proud at all. At all, Rosana.

And if I was ever proud, I'm not anymore. You guys put me in a Nutella bathtub

-for people to watch. -We didn't do anything with Nutella.

Because there was money to buy Nutella, so it was chocolate powder and water,

-we didn't even have money for milk. -Are you gonna cry again?

No, I'm not gonna cry.

-I just want this to be done. -It will be done.

-We have to talk to the lawyer. -Lawyer? Have you lost your mind?

We don't have money for a lawyer, we're about to share a churro!

And weren't we supposed to the meet the lawyer at 11? Let's go.

-Can you keep it down? -Keep it down...

-Hi, do you guys want anything? -Samara?

How are you? Rosana?

That's right, thank you for seeing us.

-No problem. -Excuse me?

Mrs. Samara, lawyer. She's gonna help us with the piracy case. Pablo.

How are you? Can you explain a little bit more

about the situation? You work for an importer?

That's right. And our boss, Borges, ran away

leaving us bankrupt, with a crazy debt for us to pay. So then

-we decided online content... -Excuse me.

-Are you a lawyer? -That's right.

So this churro stand is a hobby?

I had some personal problems, so I decided to shake things up.

Shake things up? Like what?

-Something different. -Like what?

Like... You know?

-Things that don't belong. -What doesn't belong?

-Some issues. -What issues?

Well, some people think that I have a peculiar taste.

Others think I have a healthy sex life.

But most people think I practice atrocities.

Kinkiness. Crime in four national states.

But it just happens that I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

But do enjoy doing what I do? I do, I enjoy it.

-What do you enjoy? -It doesn't matter, Pablo.

I'm sorry, we have nothing to do with your life.

But do you think we can win this case?

Listen, Rosana, I haven't lost a case in two years. On the house.

-Thanks. -How long have you had this machine?

-Stop it, Pablo. -A toast?

-To victory. -Here's what I'm gonna do,

I'm gonna go, cause the line is too big,

-and I'll send you a message later. -Sounds good.

Yeah, call me, I wanna be on top of everything.

-Let's go. Yes. -Is it good?

-It's yummy. Want more? -No, thanks.

-Sonia, where are the script's jokes? -There.

No, I mean the funny jokes. Where are they?

The jokes are funny. Maybe they don't work for square, sick

and fascist minds from a channel from Eastern Europe.

You're still talking about this channel? Forget it.

If they are working for bizarre people from a bizarre country from Eastern Europe

maybe we are doing something wrong and maybe we need to do something different.

-Hey. How is it going? -Hey.

-What's your name? -Rafael. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. -We're going...

So let's start rehearsing?

-Yes. -Can we...

-Hi Rogério. -Hi Wesley.

Here are the reports.

The reports are about the meeting or about the party?

Saint parakeet from my insides!

-What was that? -What?

The thing you said about...

-This parakeet thing is not in the script. -It's that I...

I was just improvising, I thought it would be...

I thought it would be cool and fun to improvise...

-It's not our style to improvise. -No, I loved it!

I loved it. You can improvise. You can say whatever you want, we need it.

Bring it on!

No, excuse me, how does it work?

-This improvising thing. -Improvising, that's right.

We usually say whatever comes to mind,

in the words, in the script just to spice things up.

Okay, got it. Let's do it then.

Can I go?

Look at this, Rogério,

-Sidney escreveu... -I know exactly what he wrote.

I know what he is trying to say. He must be a Russian

spy in disguise. We need to end his plans.

His plans and the overtime that he didn't add to my payment cause of Secret Santa.

It got complicated for me.

Because in the script, all he had to say

was this sentence: "That's right."

This monologue was improvisation?

Ah, come on! Improvise with me. Look me in the eye.

Okay, let's do it then.

We have to go into his office and get all of the dossier and documentos, he will

-never suspect a kid and an old guy. -Did you have to say old?

To improvise is to say the first thing that comes to mind.

You can't sensor it too much.

Is it like that improv group? You know them?

If everything goes wrong, hide this chip

underneath your man boobs.

Come on!

Come on, dude.

What's up? I never thought you were

-gonna bring me here. -How could you do this to me?

I don't like this one bit.

It's an audience test, Pablo.

I know, but how is that gonna help our case?

I'm not a lawyer.

"I'm not a lawyer." Neither is Samara.

She sells churro, Rosana. Churro.

And we don't make online videos. We are employees of a broke importer.

Got it. This is your allegation to hire that person,

now I understand.

My allegation to hire that person who sells churro is that

she is working for free and is offering churros to the East Europeans.

I didn't know they like churros so much.

Okay. By the way, where did you find so many East Europeans?

-I don't get it. -Facebook.

Gipsy community.

And who told you that every East European is a gipsy?

Soap opera. I watched that whole soap opera.

They are a lot like us. They all speak Portuguese and live in Leblon.

-And? -I didn't like it.

I didn't get it. I...

It's so bad that you get the feeling you didn't understand.

That's not a surprise.

Well, you're gonna watch another video in your own language. Pay attention.

Pablo?

It doesn't make any sense.

They are laughing at the same video, but with different people.

But it's the same video.

-Don't you think Mrs. Samara is weird? -I think she thinks so to.

I know, but I don't like not knowing

why her bizarre fetish made her lose her job.

-Does it matter? -Of course it does.

Of course it does, I never know how she's looking at me.

If she's looking at me in a sexual way. I never know

if she feels anything when I tie my shoe.

If she feels anything when I go take a dump.

When I fall on my face and I'm covered in dirt, I never know if it's sexual,

it bothers me.

Regarding the dump, why would she go into the bathroom to watch you?

Exactly. That's my question. Why? I don't feel comfortable around her.

I don't know if it's sexual or not. She looks at me funny.

You don't get, I don't feel comfortable.

Don't take a dump in front of her, Pablo.

-No. -And why not?

Are you hiding something, Rosana?

You're my friend, you gotta tell me what's going on.

-Okay? -Let's focus on the serious matter.

Focus on the serious matter... She's looking at me.

Where are you? Huh?

Where did you hide? Tell me!

Where are you?

Talk to me.

I just wanna talk to you, Rogério.

I have a gun, Rogério.

Huh?

Tell me where you are.

You can figure this out with me.

I'm Rogéria.

Rogério's boss.

Sonia, let's go back to the script?

The video is about WhatsApp in the office. This has nothing to do with it.

I'm so glad you're here. I was waiting for you.

I didn't know you were still in the office.

I was totally distracted on my WhatsApp group.

That doesn't even make any sense, how could you be waiting for me

if you didn't know I was in the office?

-Hey, come here. -Sonia!

Sonia, help. No. The joke is over!

Ouch, Sonia!

-Sonia! -Improvise, Erasmo.

I'm already improvising!

Holy shit. Listen, dude.

This improvising to spice things up has been going on

for 15 minutos, the video is only two minutes long, please.

-You don't wanna keep your job? -No, listen,

I don't want it. Sonia, I quit.

-Miss Rogéria, I quit. -You should think about it.

Don't you have kids to support?

I'm more worried about your balls touching mine.

Get up, man. Let's go back to the script.

Please, go back to the script.

You're not in character anymore.

I'm not in character.

This video is supposed to have two people in the office,

you acted five!

-It has too many characters. No! -Kiss me.

Get in the mood. Think about million views.

I'm already thinking about that, Sonia!

No, holy shit.

Seven views, Sonia.

-The shitty video has seven views? -And our average

is 15 view per video, doesn't make any sense.

It's the channel's biggest disaster.

And I'm gonna say something.

Their video is doing really well.

-It can't be. -Take a look.

-Shit. -Look.

It can't be, we launched this video eight hours ago.

-How did they copy so fast? -Exactly.

These guys might not be ethical,

but they are professionals in the lack of ethics to steal people's contents.

-They are. -How many views?

Nine hundred and thirty thousand.

Well, their average is two million, so they are screwed.

It doesn't make any sense. This shit is an obvious copy.

I can't believe it, really. Look...

This part is good. But fuck!

It's not gonna end this way. They have to get screwed.

-This guy is funny. -Let's focus here.

If we don't do anything they'll end up...

screwing us over.

Some East European people

-are saying that we are copying... -Yeah.

There's another video...

I'm so pissed.

Enough, guys. Enough.

This video was the icing on the cake. We have to do...

-Enough. -Enough.

-Enough. -Enough.

-Enough. -I'm done laughing.

-Enough. -Me neither.

BORGES IMPORTS

I have good news and bad news.

-What are the bad news? -That there are no good news.

And if you had said the good one first, what would it be?

I would say you have a very small chance to go forward with this case.

But to prove piracy and move forward with the case

I'm gonna need two things: A new blazer

and proof that they had access to this video.

This is the hardest to prove.

Okay, angel, but let me tell you something:

The video is absolutely identical.

But it could be a coincidence. Piracy is more complicated,

even if we don't know if they had access to the video,

we are gonna have to gather the biggest amount of evidence.

So I thought you could make a video absolutely

impossible to be a coincidence.

I'm gonna add to the other ones and that might help the case.

Okay, I understood it's difficult,

but it doesn't seem to be bad news. Why would it be?

-I think I get it. -Yeah?

-I think I get what's going on. -Yeah?

-I understand. -That's good.

-That's very good. -Excuse me?

Guys...

I'm not gonna do that.

It's just a video, Pablo.

First of all, why are you filming?

There's a camera filming me right there.

The more proof the better.

"The more proof the better." Who had the idea to film in a body shop?

-Tell me. Mrs. Samara. -Mrs. Samara.

-May I know why, Mrs. Samara? -Cause there's a lot

of body shops in Eastern Europe. They love old cars

and if that's our chance for them to get interested in our video, better.

Oh, cool. First of all, I asker her, not you. But you're defending her.

In the Eastern European body shop is there a guy dressed with diapers?

A big baby? A big baby in the body shop?

Pablo, I'm sorry, but I think that's the funny part.

That's gonna help us prove that they are copying our videos.

Oh, okay. That wasn't our idea, right?

Was it? For me to be standing here wearing a diaper and a pacifier?

Was it our ideia? Tell me truth!

Can you cry really loud so I can check the volume?

I'm not gonna cry. No way. I'm pissed.

Come here, Sonia. Please, come here.

I'm sorry, but this situation

is unbearable. I can't take it anymore.

No one can.

No one can? But I'm the one wearing a diaper. Is there anyone else in diapers?

With a wet diaper? Is there anyone else being filmed by a lunatic

who sells churros? I don't even know where this video is gonna end up.

What if this shit ends up at XVideos? My whole family watches XVideos!

-What do I do now? -You didn't have to pee yourself.

At least something good and useful I had to do with this.

I just don't get how that's good.

But we have to create this trap for the East Europeans and that trap

is a big baby in a dirty body shop.

Can you repeat the last sentence, but using the words escargot

and floss. You chose the context. Looks great.

Sonia, come here with me really quick.

Get out of here.

-What is this bullshit? -I don't know either.

But if Pablo dressed as a baby will helps us sue these guys...

-wonderful. -No, I think...

-I think he's talking about the actor. -Yeah.

-You guys brought him again. -He's the star of our...

Of the Eastern European channel, they only talk

about him in the comments.

Now they have more chance to steal from us.

I can't believe you're gonna make me go through this humiliation again.

Let's rehearse?

-Let's go. -Let's go.

-Hey, what's? -How is it going?

Places, guys. Let's go.

Ready, action.

What the fuck?

-What the fuck was that? -I can't work like this.

I can't. I can't even improvise anymore?

You're an amateur.

I can't work with amateurs.

-Tell me, what happened? -Sonia, I...

I was researching the East European channel so we could

send them an email...

-It's not gonna happen. -Why?

Their last video disobeyed

-like 50 laws. -That's impossible. Like what?

Acting like a woman on the streets.

Acting like a working woman

on the streets without her husband.

Acting like a working woman on the streets without her husband identifying her...

-And it goes on. -But are they gonna

get arrested? They're going to jail?

Death penalty, Sonia.

Because of the videos? Because of the improv

that we did? It can't be. I thought it was funny. Oh, my God.

-We killed four people. -No.

No, actually

the two women will be stoned and the guys will

donate some food and they already signed

to do a reality show there.

Rosana, we are making the other video.

Oh, my God. We are still making a video.

Let's go, for crying out loud.

Come on. Hold his leg.

Watch out.

Stones are coming out of him.

Watch out.

Stones are coming out of him.

The meteor is going straight to Mogi Mirim.

-Ouch. -Hold on.

-Hey. We have to do something. -Huh?

The last time I did something, you almost killed me with your jokes.

My jokes?

I had to know if they were after me.

Now they are after me.

And cause of you they think I'm the one who's running around.

Don't worry, they are not gonna do anything

when they find out you have small feet.

Jorge, really, let's go talk to them.

But how are we gonna explain why we are here?

Let's say Big Foot caught us. I don't know.

And that he ate all of that food too?

-Big Foot... -You're gonna start again?

Look, what we should do is steal their car

go back to Brazil and go to Borges get the money I hid before someone finds it.