Original subtitles

[whinnying]

Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

Uh, hi, Wilbur.

Ed. What are you doing?

Looking for the TV section.

I'm sorry, you can't watch anything now.

Carol is on the air in just a few minutes.

Your wife's on television?

Yep. She's making a speech for the Women's Voters League.

Ho ho ho. That should be something.

[chuckling]

I wonder if I have the right time.

Don't look at me. My wristwatch is being repaired.

Just think, Ed. My wife, our little girl

will soon be talking on this television set.

What's so unusual about a talking woman?

Now, a talking horse--

I don't see you using that great talent of yours

to get people to come out and vote at the election

this Tuesday.

If a horse ever runs for president,

I'll make a speech.

Just you be quiet, Ed.

I don't want to miss a single word of this.

♪ [music on TV]

Is it okay if I breathe lz during the commercial?

- Shh! - Shh!

Now, ladies and gentlemen, WPXQ,

as a special public service, is happy to present

Mrs. Carol Post, who will--

Here she comes.

...on behalf of the Women's Voters League.

Mrs. Post.

[applause]

Hello. Fellows-- Fellow citizens.

- As your-- - Can we switch to the races?

My niece is running at Hialeah.

Quiet.

...councilmen

and vote on some very important propositions.

She's pretty, but my niece is faster.

Quiet!

So many of us may feel

that these issues are not so very important.

So why bother going to the polls?

Just what I say-- why bother?

When we fail to take advantage of our right to vote,

we are forfeiting the most precious gift

a citizen possesses.

Make your voice heard.

Make your vote count.

Thank you so much.

[applause]

Admit it, Ed. My wife looked beautiful on that screen.

Gorgeous. Now will you please switch to Hialeah?

[announcer] Politics in General, WPXQ,

- as a special public service-- - [switching channels]

...and trailing the pack by twelve lengths

is Little Princess--

Turn it off. My niece is last again.

She takes after my lazy brother.

Well, I'm home!

Well, how did she look?

- Gorgeous. - Aww.

[laughing]

Carol, tell him the big news.

Yeah, tell me the big news.

- Guess what, honey. - What?

They're going to use our house

as a polling place next Tuesday.

Well, what happened? We usually go to the Webster's.

Well, their little boy came down with the measles, and--

so I volunteered our place.

Well, how many people will be coming?

About 120.

Is it all right, Wilbur?

Well, sure, honey.

I'll just pretend a few of your relatives

are dropping by for a visit.

See, Kay? I told you he wouldn't mind.

Mm, I'd have volunteered our home,

but you know Addison,

with all those people around,

he'd put a lock on the refrigerator.

Say, why not?

What a perfectly marvelous way to get out the vote.

Don't you see? We'll make a little party.

Sandwiches, refreshments, the works!

I'll pay for everything!

My dear, you just used four words

for which I can never forgive you--

"I'll pay for everything."

Wilbur and Carol are allowing their home to be used

for a polling place-- the least we can do

is help get out the vote.

Oh, I can hardly wait to tell the girls.

They'll just love the idea!

Remember, sweetie.

I want to cater this party.

What party? This is an election.

We can make the food ourselves.

"Make the food ourselves."

Yeah, what's 120 people?

Yeah, what's-- 120 people?

It might rain.

Wilbur, be sensible. Imagine what a shambles

those people will make out of your home.

He may have a point there.

But-- But, honey, you promised.

Yeah, well, I was thinking, though,

they may be able to move the voting booth

into the back, in my office.

- In the barn? - Ed wouldn't mind.

He's non-partisan.

[chuckling]

That Dennis the Menace kills me.

[laughs]

Ed, this Tuesday, the voters are going to come here

to do their voting.

What do you mean, here?

I mean here, in my office.

- You finished? - Yeah.

Why can't they vote where they voted last year?

Well, the kids in that house came down with the measles.

I'm sorry, Wilbur.

This is my home, not town hall.

I already told Carol it was okay to use my office.

- How can I get out of it? - Tell her I got the measles.

I'm sorry, Ed, we are going to use this place.

It's for a civic cause.

Wilbur, I'm just as patriotic as the next horse,

but my stable is my castle.

And you're going to have to learn to share!

I don't see the Addisons sharing.

That is where you're wrong.

You could take a lesson in generosity

from Roger Addison.

A man who's willing to spend his hard-earned money

to make sure more people come out and vote on election day.

Kay, if you think I am going to spend my hard-earned money

just to attract a few more voters to the polls,

then you have snapped your ever-loving shower cap.

Roger, please!

Let's not fight over a few measly sandwiches.

120 sandwiches are not measly.

Please, doll, the neighbors.

Oh, please, please.

Turn off the sprinklers.

So you don't love me.

That's not...exactly true.

You love 120 sandwiches more than me!

That is exactly true.

[weeping]

Oh, Kay, Kay, please.

I'm only teasing. Now Kay, stop that.

- [crying] - Kay, darling, please.

Sweetheart. Lover-girl.

May I give the voters that little party?

No.

[weeping]

- [sobbing] - [doorbell rings]

Hello. I'm Harold Sawyer, from the county registrar's office.

Is Mrs. Addison home?

Yes. I'm Roger Addison.

- Won't you come in? - Oh, thank you.

I was on my way over to the Posts'

to drop off these voter's registry books,

but I thought I'd stop in to compliment your wife.

That's a wonderful idea she has,

serving refreshments on election day.

Yes, we were discussing it just before you came in.

- Won't you sit down? - Oh, thank you.

I understand the mayor is interested in seeing

whether your wife's little party

brings out more voters this year.

The mayor?

Oh, yes.

And I wouldn't be surprised

if he drops by here on election day,

just to see how things are going.

Really? Here?

And I must say I admire your civic-minded spirit,

Mr. Addison, very few people

would go to the expense you're going to.

[chuckles] What's a paltry few sandwiches?

As I was just telling my dear wife,

anything we can do to encourage our fellow citizens

to exercise their franchise

is a cornerstone in the bulwark of democracy.

Well, Mr. Addison, it's a pity

that more men like you don't get into politics.

Well, I--

I never really considered going into politics.

You should. You've got standing in the community,

you've got the appearance, the maturity, the ability.

And I was head of our college debating team.

You know, this little party your wife is giving Tuesday

won't hurt you a bit with the voters of this district.

Oh, uh-- not that I'm interested,

but do you really think I'd have a chance in an election?

I mean, you know, entering politics an unknown, at my age?

Well, Eisenhower was 62 when he was inaugurated.

And I play a better game of golf.

Oh, tell me.

Now, you know, if I were to enter politics,

what office would I seek?

Alderman? Assemblyman?

I mean, you don't run for mayor right away, do you?

You just keep on doing what you're doing, Mr. Addison.

Get to know the voters of your district.

Then the citizens will come looking for you.

- Believe me. - I can promise you one thing.

If drafted, I would run.

And if elected, I would serve.

The voters can't ask more.

Well, I'd better go over and drop off these books.

I'll see you on Tuesday, Mr. Addison.

Oh, and I can promise you another thing.

It's going to be quite a party.

I like to go all out on these things.

So bring your wife. Oh, and the kiddies,

because I love little children.

- The future of America. - Yes.

Well, uh, say hello for me to Mrs. Addison.

Thank you, I will. Oh!

Give my best to the mayor!

[sighs]

Four score and seven years ago,

our fathers brought forth upon this continent

a new nation, conceived in Liberty,

and dedicated to the proposition

that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war--

Over a few sandwiches.

Over a few sand--

Kay, my dear, I'm--

I'm sorry I behaved the way I did

a little while ago.

I've changed my mind.

You may have your little party on Tuesday,

and don't spare the expense.

- Come here, dear heart. - No, no!

Don't touch me!

Kay, darling.

Carol was the last person to see me alive.

You'll never get away with it!

- Kay! - [screaming]

Ed?

Ed?

Ed, I know you're in there.

We are going to use this as a polling place,

so open those doors and stop sulking.

- Who's sulking? - You are.

I am not.

I guess I'm wasting my time with you.

How can I expect you to understand the meaning

- of good citizenship? - Go ahead, insult me.

Tell me I'm only a horse.

For your information, horses played a tremendous part

in the history of our country.

Take Paul Revere's horse.

Nobody voted in his barn.

If it hadn't been for Paul Revere's horse

carrying him in that famous midnight ride,

we might still be 13 colonies today.

15. You forgot Hawaii and Alaska.

- Don't be funny. - I'm serious, Wilbur.

What can a horse do for his country?

Plenty! It was horses that built the West,

by pulling those heavy covered wagons

over burning desert sands, across high mountains.

I think they were jackasses.

Now, don't you say it.

Why, horses have run all through the history

of our country.

There was Custer's Last Stand.

The famous Message to Garcia.

Teddy Roosevelt's Roughriders!

Uh, George Washington crossing the Delaware.

That was on a boat.

Well, when he got off,

there was a horse waiting for him.

The point I'm trying to make is this--

that all through American history,

it's horses t÷hat have made this country what it is today.

Are you calling me a foreigner?

No. I'm just saying you're very selfish.

You are trying to deprive the American voter

of a place in which to vote.

Paul Revere's horse.

General Custer.

Teddy Roosevelt's Roughriders.

Yeah. We horses have made America what it is today.

♪ Oh, beautiful ♪

♪ For spacious skies ♪

♪ For amber waves of grain ♪

Wilbur?

What would you say if I were to wind up in City Hall one day?

I'd say pay the traffic ticket and forget about it.

Would it surprise you if I told you

I might run in next year's election?

You?

It seems some of our neighbors are considering drafting me.

You?

Ah, life can be full of little surprises.

One day, I'm a retired businessman,

basking in the sun, taking things easy.

The next day, I'm a public servant.

Still basking in the sun and taking things easy.

Roger, are you serious?

Well, it wasn't my idea.

This morning, an official from the registrar's office

dropped by and told me I'd be a natural

for some public office.

Hmm. Well, with your dislike for animals,

I'd say you'd make a great dog catcher.

Well, if you're going to talk like a fool--

No, wait a minute. I'm sorry.

I thought you were pulling my leg.

You mean, you really want to get into politics?

It isn't my idea, the voters want me.

Wilbur.

You can do me a big favor.

Now it's very important that I make a good impression

on the voters, you know-- meet them on my own ground.

So I was wondering,

could we switch the voting to my home tomorrow?

Oh, I don't know.

Carol's all hipped up about having it at our house.

Talk to her, will you? And let me know as soon as you can.

Mm. I better. I mean, if we turned you down,

why someday you may run a freeway through our house.

Hmm!

Ed, you can stop sulking.

I've got great news for you. Roger has volunteered his house

for the voting tomorrow.

What's wrong with this place?

I thought you didn't like all the noise, the people.

What people? These are fellow Americans.

What made you change your mind?

That little speech you made about American horses.

You made me fell like Black Bob.

Black Bob? Who's that?

The only horse that chickened out

at the battle of Gettysburg.

I'm glad I finally got through to you.

Wilbur, am I a good American horse?

Oh, Ed, you're the finest.

If you were human, you'd make a great citizen.

- Wilbur-- - Yeah?

- Can I vote? - Can--

Oh, Ed, don't be ridiculous.

Show me in the Constitution

where it says horses can't vote.

Ed, please believe me. Horses cannot vote.

Women vote, don't they?

Will you forget it?

This place will be crowded with people tomorrow.

Why, they'd put me away if I let my horse

go into a voting booth.

Well, we should be allowed to vote.

We were here before the pilgrims.

"Chickened out at Gettysburg."

I'll vote tomorrow if I have to put on a pair of pants,

a shirt, and a stupid expression.

Oh, thank you for voting.

If you want seconds,

there are fresh sandwiches on the buffet.

- [Woman] Name, please. - [Man] Ella.

We're very fortunate to have such a nice day.

We'll have a fine turnout.

And may I say that is a most attractive dress

you are wearing, Mrs. Willard.

Why, thank you, kind sir.

- Name, please. - Oh, you know.

Flo Belle McGuire! [laughing]

That was a wonderful table you set, Kay.

The food is delicious!

- [laughs] - Well, thanks so much.

- Did you try the salad? - Mm, marvelous.

You know, I wasn't going to vote today,

but I couldn't resist the menu!

- Sign it, please. - Flo Belle.

You know, if the voters keep pouring in at this rate,

we should beat last year's mark by plenty.

I think we already have, Kay.

Any voters from now on are pure gravy.

Gravy?

Hmm, that makes me hungry again.

I'll vote later.

- All right. - No, Flo Belle.

No seconds till after you voted.

Oh, dear!

Well, I'll vote fast!

[clears throat]

Next, please.

Yes, there's a good chance

I may run next year, Mrs. Phillips.

- Oh, really? - Yes. You know...

that for years, the boys at the club have been after me

to make my voice heard in the cause of good government.

That's wonderful.

They seem to think I have a lot of good ideas.

Well, your food is excellent.

Thank you.

Uh, Wilbur, the camera?

My, what a beautiful baby.

I would love to have my picture taken

kissing that beautiful child-- may I?

- Of course. - Well, thank you.

Baby?

- Okay, Governor. - Thank you.

Uh--

Got it, Senator!

This picture will appear in the Valley Express,

Mrs. Phillips-- and don't forget, tell all your friends,

next year, Roger Addison for good government.

- Of course, and thank you. - Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Say, Wilbur.

That kid's face looked kind of puffy.

Do you suppose he's got the mumps?

I don't know. Have you ever had the mumps, Roger?

No.

If you get 'em, I know a good baby doctor.

Pardon me.

Enjoying yourself?

- How do you do? - Oh.

May I present myself? Roger Addison.

I am, as you might say, hosting this party.

How nice!

Thank you.

It is supposed to be a secret,

but there's Qa strong possibility

I may run for assemblyman next year.

How nice!

My, what a cute little puppy.

You know, I adore animals.

- Wilbur. - Coming.

May I have my picture taken with this little dog

for the press?

How nice!

All right. Would you smile, please?

Not you, Your Honor. The dog.

- Thank you. - How nice.

It's going beautifully. We've got a great turnout,

and I think I've met every voter in the district.

"How nice"!

Pardon me.

- How do you do? - This is quite a spread, isn't it?

Thank you. Roger Addison, your host.

Uh, boy. Would you take a pitcher of me

with this distinguished gentleman?

- A picture? - Yes, you see,

I'm just getting into politics.

There seems to be a popular demand to make me mayor.

Oh, you'll cherish this picture, believe me.

I doubt it.

I'm the mayor.

Can't blame him much.

He's upset about losing his job.

Excuse me.

How do you do? I'm here to vote.

My name is Wilbur Post-- P-O-S-T.

Post.

Mm, what a handsome man.

Sure wish I weren't married. Right in there, Mr. Post.

Thank you, ma'am.

And this isn't even my district.

How do you do?

[softly] Ed, get back!

I want to vote.

Ed, don't be silly.

I want to vote.

Listen, Ed, please.

Let's compromise, Wilbur.

Let me vote on half of your ballot.

That would be illegal.

Ever hear of a split ticket?

Ed, for the last time--

Please, Wilbur, let me vote on one proposition.

Okay.

Vote "yes" or "no" on this one.

"Whereas, the city water supply has been proven inadequate

"to supply the constituency from its normal sources

"as provided in Article 4, Section 3

"of the amended charter of 1938,

"it is hereby proposed the influx be diverted

"so as to supply the aforesaid constituency

in the manner described above."

How do you want to vote, Ed? Yes or no?

- I just remembered something. - What?

I'm not old enough to vote.

Ed, it really worked.

We had a hundred percent turnout.

You got to hand it to Roger.

He made it all possible.

Personally, he'll never get my vote.

Why don't you like Roger?

It's like those propositions.

Too complicated to explain.

Well, he did a wonderful thing for the community, Ed.

And he is my best friend.

You and your $2.00 camera!

Look at that picture in the Valley Express.

My entire political career is ruined.

How nice!

[laughing]

[mocking] "How nice."

Hello, Mrs. Davis.

I'm calling for Mr. and Mrs. Post.

We want to thank you for voting.

And please vote at our house next year.

It's a pleasure to do business with you.

Thank you.

Ed? Are you still calling the voters and thanking them?

Yep, and I gave them a real strong argument

for coming back next year.

Appeal to their patriotism, huh?

No, their appetite.

I told them the main course would be filet mignon.

[laughs]

I still wish I could vote, Wilbur.

Ed, if horses could vote,

and you were elected president,

what would be the first thing you'd do?

Well, uh, ahh--

I'd sure make a lot of changes, you can believe me.

Like what?

For one thing, horses would be riding people.

Hm. What else?

Every time a horse won a race,

the winnings would be put aside for his old age.

Hmm. That's a good thought.

And, Mr. President, of course you realize

you'd have to have a First Lady in the White House.

Y-You mean, I'd have to get married?

Sure!

Well, I'm back in the barn, eating hay.

[laughs] You'd better leave the voting to people.

Yeah. [laughs]

Anyway, I sure am lucky to be living in a democracy.

We all are, Ed.

Who was it once said

"The man who can right himself by a vote

will seldom resort to a musket"?

James Fenimore Cooper.

By golly, I think you're right.

How did you know that?

Well, I know I didn't say it,

and you didn't say it, so--

[together] It had to be James Fenimore Cooper.

I know.

♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak a streak ♪

♪ And waste your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed] ♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

[Man] This has been a Filmways television presentation.