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1
00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:38,861
Do you hear something?
2
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:57,854
[TIRES SQUEALING]
3
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,597
[CAR APPROACHING]
4
00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:55,935
We're with U.N.C.L.E.
Can you give us a lift?
5
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,054
SOLO: Dr. True.
TRUE: Solo?
6
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:54,189
- Yes, I'm Solo and this is Kuryakin.
TRUE: Mr. Kuryakin.
7
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:55,892
As you know, gentlemen, I've...
8
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,937
I've devoted my life to the problem
of relieving the world's thirst...
9
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:03,167
...by purifying seawater. Desalinization.
10
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:06,506
ILLYA: We also know that your laboratory
has been broken into twice.
11
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:09,205
Are we also right in assuming
the thieves were after something...
12
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,043
...other than your desalinization formula?
13
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:14,118
You are, Mr. Solo,
and I've taken adequate precautions.
14
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,346
Our enemies would have to hunt down
the four winds...
15
00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,253
...to find what I've stumbled upon.
16
00:04:19,425 --> 00:04:21,689
Here we are, gentlemen.
17
00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:39,039
Concentrated essence
of ordinary seawater.
18
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:42,113
The concentrate
is in this pressure chamber...
19
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,750
...being subjected to bombardment
by gamma particles.
20
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,446
What's the matter?
21
00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,453
It's nothing.
22
00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,559
[SIGHS]
23
00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:02,429
When you see the end result
of this process...
24
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:06,470
...you'll understand why it must never fall
into the wrong hands.
25
00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:33,789
[GASPING]
For--
26
00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,961
Formula.
27
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,036
Dau--
28
00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:41,537
Daughter.
29
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,574
[SIGHS]
30
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,348
Yes, gentlemen.
31
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,515
[SIGHS]
32
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:04,186
That's what Dr. True stumbled on.
33
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:09,495
The secret of extracting gold
from common seawater.
34
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:13,936
- The key to limitless wealth.
- Limitless wealth and limitless power.
35
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:17,168
No wonder Thrush was tempted--
It was Thrush, wasn't it?
36
00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:19,175
Yes, Mr. Kuryakin.
37
00:06:19,345 --> 00:06:22,940
Who else could hurl
a private air force against us?
38
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:27,110
And it they should ever succeed
in getting hold of Dr. True's secret...
39
00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:29,015
...the world is theirs.
40
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:31,953
And knowing Thrush as we do,
they're going to keep after it.
41
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,719
Yeah, well, fortunately.
Dr. True anticipated that.
42
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:39,127
He said that his enemies would have
to hunt down the four winds...
43
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:41,426
...to find his formula.
44
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,626
And one more word:
45
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,532
daughter.
46
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:49,335
I only wish the poor man
had told you more.
47
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:54,413
Oh, I'm sure Mr. Solo is more than eager
to follow up on the daughter.
48
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,509
Since you suggested it, yes.
49
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:58,878
It's the only clue.
50
00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:02,549
Gentlemen, please. Five clues.
51
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:05,248
Our information is
that he has five daughters.
52
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,258
- Five?
WAVERLY: Scattered all over the world.
53
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:14,390
Margo in Italy somewhere,
Imogen in London, Yvonne in Paris...
54
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,763
Gee, that may take some time.
55
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,234
Which is we what we haven't got.
56
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:22,067
I suggest you get in touch
with Dr. True's widow.
57
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:28,509
Randolph, how good of you to come.
58
00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,672
What you must have been going through.
59
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:33,683
I, um-- I dropped everything
the moment I heard.
60
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,218
No.
61
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:37,914
No, don't.
62
00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:43,119
- Not while I'm feeling so terribly guilty.
- Guilty? What about?
63
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,663
About Simon, of course. I killed him.
64
00:07:46,999 --> 00:07:49,297
What are you talking about?
The newspaper said--
65
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,131
It was his heart. But I know the truth.
66
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:55,772
Oh, if I only hadn't been
so stupidly honest...
67
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:58,104
...blurting everything out.
68
00:07:58,277 --> 00:07:59,904
What did you say to Simon?
69
00:08:00,079 --> 00:08:03,845
Well, I told him about us, of course.
About you and me.
70
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,218
And I'll never forgive myself.
71
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:08,880
You told him what about us?
72
00:08:09,288 --> 00:08:13,122
Well, at first, all I said
was that I wanted a divorce.
73
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:15,659
There's nothing so unusual
about that, is there?
74
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,957
I mean, what did you tell him about me?
75
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,190
Nothing.
76
00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:25,763
You know, Randolph, I don't think
you've ever been aware of this...
77
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:28,737
...because Simon always had
such beautiful manners...
78
00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:31,502
...but he absolutely loathed you.
79
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,173
I'm flattered.
80
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,371
Go on.
81
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:38,278
That's all.
82
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:42,311
A few hours after we talked,
he had the attack.
83
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:48,617
You know, I really do believe that Simon
was the only man I ever truly loved.
84
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:52,526
Now, really, Amanda.
After four husbands, not to mention me...
85
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,462
I mean it.
86
00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:58,695
Oh, he could be so sweet
when he chose.
87
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:05,266
Our first meeting, in Stockholm,
seemed like fate.
88
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,879
He was there collecting
his second Nobel Prize...
89
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,482
...and I was there picking up
my fourth divorce.
90
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,176
We were married almost immediately.
91
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,412
Then, after we--
92
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:18,621
Randolph, that's Simon's desk.
93
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:21,021
I know it's Simon's desk.
That's why I'm searching it.
94
00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:22,661
Why?
95
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:26,458
There was something
I needed from Simon and now I...
96
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,796
Listen to me carefully.
97
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,960
Did Simon ever speak to you
about the process he was working on?
98
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,799
Why, certainly.
99
00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,941
He kept me up
night after night for weeks.
100
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:37,769
I hope you can remember some of it.
101
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,208
No.
102
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,905
After five marriages,
if a woman hasn't, well...
103
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:47,315
...learned to appear to listen to a man
without actually having heard one word...
104
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:50,683
...then she might just as well
tum in her wedding rings.
105
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:53,625
You can remember nothing about
what he was telling you?
106
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,695
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
107
00:09:58,130 --> 00:09:59,529
No, nothing.
108
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,861
Not even where he kept the formula?
109
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:07,038
Randolph, the way you're behaving,
I don't think I'd tell you even if I knew.
110
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:09,931
AMANDA:
Ow!
111
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,478
[AMANDA WHIMPERS]
112
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:14,636
Search.
113
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:22,253
What is this?
114
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:24,788
- What are you doing? You have no right--
- Want them to stop?
115
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,447
- Yes, I do!
- Then refresh your memory.
116
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,027
Tell me where he kept the formula.
117
00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:31,690
I don't know.
118
00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:34,294
Randolph, what's come over you?
119
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,959
Shut up and keep out of my way.
120
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,232
It was the formula you wanted.
121
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:41,669
Not me.
122
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,310
I still intend to get it.
123
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,577
Did he take all of these?
124
00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:52,983
I don't know.
125
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,287
Shouldn't he have?
126
00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:06,295
You were the one who told me
they were harmless.
127
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:10,533
And Simon wouldn't tell me
why he was taking them.
128
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:13,365
You had them analyzed for me.
129
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,868
You told me
they were some kind of tonic.
130
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,938
Even an overdose of vitamins
can be fatal.
131
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,817
But they weren't vitamins, were they?
132
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:30,585
When you gave me back that bottle...
133
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:33,421
...there was something else in it.
134
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,720
Not his pills.
135
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,454
Something you put in it.
136
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:41,159
Don't worry.
It will never show up in an autopsy.
137
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:46,933
You murdered Simon?
138
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:53,578
You murdered Simon?
139
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:56,044
You murdered Simon!
140
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:02,386
No need to be melodramatic about it,
is there, my dear?
141
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,463
Simon...
142
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,943
...please forgive me.
143
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,600
Looks like Thrush got here before us.
144
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:59,534
Anybody here?
145
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,782
- Mrs. True?
SANDY: You're too late.
146
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,044
She's already cleared out,
and in a hurry too.
147
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,123
Who are you?
148
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,193
Sandy True.
149
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:18,763
One of Dr. True's five daughters.
150
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:20,899
My father's only real daughter.
151
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:24,934
The others are step-types
by Amanda's four other husbands.
152
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:26,761
And you--?
153
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:29,909
And you two are from U.N.C.L.E.,
I suppose?
154
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,271
My father said to contact you.
155
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,640
Did he give you something for us?
156
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,374
No, we just spoke on the phone.
157
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,574
What did he say?
158
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:43,614
He, um, said something about...
159
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:46,417
...how in the end,
only I would know the truth.
160
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:50,821
I know this isn't easy for you...
161
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:52,794
...but it's terribly important to us.
162
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:56,833
Now, he said that you'd know the truth.
163
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,628
Was it about the process
he was working on?
164
00:14:00,873 --> 00:14:03,774
Hardly. He hadn't talked
about that in along time.
165
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:06,574
Amanda saw to that.
166
00:14:06,745 --> 00:14:08,577
Besides...
167
00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:14,880
...he said something about how
the truth was scattered to the tour winds.
168
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,783
Four winds?
169
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:22,059
Four stepdaughters.
170
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,521
She did this. For them.
171
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,532
It wasn't enough what she did to my father.
I could kill her.
172
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:32,901
Somebody already has.
173
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:51,583
- I still don't see why I have to come along.
- And for one very simple reason:
174
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:54,852
You're the only key that we have
and we don't intend to lose you.
175
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:58,088
Oh, so I'm a key. How very flattering.
176
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:11,067
Don't feel bad, Miss Key.
177
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,543
There's at least one gentleman on board
who'll find you very attractive.
178
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,513
Big deal.
179
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,888
WOMAN: Buangiama, Napoleon.
Good to see you again.
180
00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,793
- Nice to see you.
- Recognition signal A.
181
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:35,764
The ocean is near
and the coastline is Sandy.
182
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,994
- That's me.
- That's it. Have fun.
183
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,537
Hey, listen, I don't wanna go with her.
I wanna be with you.
184
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,640
When in Home,
you do as U.N.C.L.E. says.
185
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,606
Hey, now, wait a minute.
186
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,245
Listen.
187
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,949
I am the Count Valeriano De Fanzini.
Tell me, what do you want?
188
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:04,451
SOLO: We're looking for the contessa.
COUNT: The contessa?
189
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:11,225
The last Contessa De Fanzini...
190
00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,366
...she died 20 years ago.
191
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:16,606
She was my sainted mother.
192
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,276
We were referring to your wife.
193
00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:21,272
Wife? I have no wife.
194
00:16:23,615 --> 00:16:25,105
We were told you were married.
195
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,376
Oh, that wife.
196
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:31,581
Uh, true, we went through the ceremonies,
but she is my wife in the name only.
197
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:34,658
You ought to hear how she lies,
how she cheats.
198
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,222
How she tell me that her millions...
199
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:40,923
...will restore the De Fanzinis
to their rightful glory.
200
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,569
But does she bring
on the wedding night, huh?
201
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:47,036
Three Portuguese escudos
and one Kennedy half-dollar.
202
00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:49,140
We have business with the contessa.
203
00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:52,602
- Business?
SOLO: Yes.
204
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,612
And you are from America.
205
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:55,872
Yes.
206
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:57,345
From U.N.C.L.E.
207
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:00,783
You-- Uncle?
208
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,083
Berle, belle.
209
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:04,245
[CHUCKLES]
210
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,391
You do not have to spell it out
for me, signore.
211
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:09,994
I understand. My wife, her uncle?
212
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,927
She have you bring me the money, eh?
213
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:16,261
SOLO: What money?
COUNT: What money?
214
00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:20,533
Hey, no money, no contessa, eh?
215
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,470
Arrivederci.
216
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:29,381
[GUN COCKS]
217
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:46,191
“Help, I'm being held prisoner.
Contessa De Fanzini.“
218
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,561
It came from up there.
219
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:26,601
SOLO: Oh, uh-- Thank you. Uh, excuse me.
ILLYA: Oh.
220
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:36,111
Sony, gentlemen, but honestly.
I haven't a thing to wear.
221
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,273
Ahem. Don't just stand there,
be a gentleman. Give her your coat.
222
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,352
She looks more your size to me.
223
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,483
[SOLO CLEARS THROAT]
224
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,489
MARGO:
That bluebeard.
225
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:55,258
That brute.
226
00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:04,069
That throwback to the Middle Ages.
227
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:06,302
ILLYA:
I don't wanna be personal...
228
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:09,140
...but just why exactly has he locked you up
and left you like this?
229
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,612
So I can't run away, of course.
230
00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:14,775
Can you imagine me fleeing down
the Via Veneto like this?
231
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,722
- Oh, you will help me, won't you?
- Well, maybe we can help each other.
232
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,917
We're trying to find out
if you've heard from your stepfather.
233
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:24,726
- Which one?
- Dr. Simon True.
234
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:26,865
Oh, the seawater one.
235
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:28,557
Well, he's dead.
236
00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:31,066
Oh.
237
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,399
Tell me...
238
00:19:33,572 --> 00:19:35,131
...did he leave any money?
239
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:39,139
The beast never brings me my mail.
240
00:19:39,311 --> 00:19:43,578
I've no idea what's been sent to me.
We'll have to search downstairs.
241
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:45,308
ILLYA: Well, let's go.
- Oh, not now.
242
00:19:45,484 --> 00:19:48,454
Unless you want a load of buckshot
from that bluebeard I married.
243
00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,089
- All right, let's wait till he goes to sleep.
- Won't belong.
244
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:55,124
He goes to bed with the chickens,
just to save on electricity.
245
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:59,693
If this is Ia dolce vita,
I'll take the Sunset Strip.
246
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,527
I told you we'd have more fun
at the Colosseum.
247
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:11,035
SANDY:
Okay, let's give the Colosseum a whirl.
248
00:20:13,178 --> 00:20:15,613
Hey, how come he's taking your picture?
249
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,647
Well, that's the way the paparazzi work.
250
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:18,806
[CAMERA CLICKS]
251
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,315
They photograph everyone in sight.
252
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,647
Because you never know,
it might be tomorrow's film star, light?
253
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,990
Right.
254
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,888
[MAN GRUNTS]
255
00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:38,232
[SANDY SCREAMING]
256
00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:42,232
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
257
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:50,711
[MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]
258
00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:02,791
MARGO: Do you know he was offered
a fortune for this place?
259
00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:05,055
He could have sold it
a dozen times, but no.
260
00:21:05,230 --> 00:21:07,562
His stupid arrogant pride.
261
00:21:07,733 --> 00:21:09,565
You should have seen the wedding.
262
00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:12,033
It made all the picture magazines
and so it should have.
263
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,866
But he stripped the palazzo to pay for it.
264
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,066
Naturally, I wasn't going to stay
in this ghastly ruin.
265
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,174
- Are you rich?
- No.
266
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:24,646
IIIya and I work,
ahem, very hard for our living.
267
00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:27,808
- But mostly in the dark.
- Oh, what a pity.
268
00:21:27,986 --> 00:21:30,114
That's where he keeps all the junk.
269
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:34,749
He calls it the music room because
the rats kept running over the guitar strings.
270
00:21:34,926 --> 00:21:37,520
Before he hacked the guitar.
271
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,167
My trunk.
272
00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:46,805
I do hope there's some clothes left in it.
273
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:51,000
He sold everything else
just to keep this empty stone quarry.
274
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,769
Why is beyond me.
275
00:21:52,944 --> 00:21:57,313
SOLO: So he has inordinate interest
in mail-order catalogs.
276
00:21:57,683 --> 00:21:59,981
ILLYA:
Yea, and old bills.
277
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:06,821
Well, here's an invitation
to the Chicago Exposition, 1892.
278
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:10,326
SOLO: Here's a foreclosure
dated two months ago.
279
00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:12,429
MARGO:
Mr. Solo.
280
00:22:12,597 --> 00:22:13,723
COUNT:
Aha!
281
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:16,561
Oh, I caught you in flagrante--
282
00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:19,830
Are you proud of this, you Casanova,
you cheap Romeo?
283
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,404
SOLO:
You're jumping to conclusions.
284
00:22:21,573 --> 00:22:23,803
COUNT: How dare you parade
like this in front of strangers!
285
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:26,608
Never in the history
of the De Fanzinis--!
286
00:22:26,778 --> 00:22:27,904
Peasant!
287
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,072
- Excuse me, but all we came here for--
- Where's my mail?
288
00:22:31,249 --> 00:22:33,513
- Where did you hide my mail?
- What mail?
289
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:35,278
I'll be glad to tell you.
290
00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:36,615
It's Dr. True's formula.
291
00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:40,615
- Where is it?
MARGO: What formula?
292
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:43,022
- And who are you?
- Answer me, where is it?
293
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:46,165
MARGO: Ow!
- How dare you hit my wife.
294
00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:49,266
- She is a De Fanzini.
- Did you hear him? He admits I'm his wife.
295
00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:51,300
I demand an apology!
296
00:22:51,803 --> 00:22:54,704
COUNT: Unh!
- You beast!
297
00:22:56,808 --> 00:22:58,276
[MEN GRUNTING]
298
00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:30,407
[MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
299
00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:52,486
ILLYA: Where did you come from?
- You mean escape. They tried to kidnap me.
300
00:23:52,664 --> 00:23:53,654
Did you bring the troops?
301
00:23:53,832 --> 00:23:56,267
Sure, it would be the quickest
and the safest way to get here.
302
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:57,925
Good thinking.
303
00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:02,633
[GUNSHOT]
304
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:05,803
[MEN GRUNTING]
305
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:08,344
[WHISTLES]
306
00:24:12,017 --> 00:24:13,781
Arrest them! Follow him!
307
00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:19,782
Arsonists! Chase them! Chase them!
308
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:21,653
Arsonists!
309
00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:24,093
[GROANS]
310
00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:25,821
SOLO:
Oh.
311
00:24:25,997 --> 00:24:27,465
COUNT: My darling.
MARGO: Oh.
312
00:24:27,632 --> 00:24:30,932
[BOTH GROANING AND MOANING]
313
00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:35,767
Oh, signore, you're wasting your time.
She has nothing, no letters, no gifts...
314
00:24:35,941 --> 00:24:37,636
...no answers to my wedding invitations.
315
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:41,143
- Not even a response to your ransom note.
- Nothing, nothing.
316
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:42,508
SANDY:
Help! Help!
317
00:24:42,681 --> 00:24:43,671
[KNOCKING ON WALL]
318
00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:45,248
Sandy?
319
00:24:45,984 --> 00:24:48,351
SANDY: Help!
- I try never to jump to conclusions, but--
320
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:49,817
Be my guest. Jump.
321
00:24:50,622 --> 00:24:53,114
- Sounds like it's coming from in here.
SANDY: Help! Help!
322
00:24:53,291 --> 00:24:55,692
Uh, excuse me. Do you happen
to have a secret passage?
323
00:24:55,861 --> 00:24:57,829
No, no, there's nothing there.
324
00:24:57,996 --> 00:25:00,226
We've been searching
for five generations.
325
00:25:00,398 --> 00:25:02,765
SANDY:
I'm behind the fireplace!
326
00:25:02,934 --> 00:25:06,802
[COUNT SHOUTS THEN LAUGHS]
327
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:09,134
Oh, I'm rich. Ha-ha-ha.
328
00:25:09,307 --> 00:25:11,537
I'm rich.
329
00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:17,045
Aah!
330
00:25:17,215 --> 00:25:18,683
[COUNT LAUGHING]
331
00:25:18,850 --> 00:25:20,875
MARGO:
Ooh!
332
00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:23,487
- Are you all right?
- I've heard of safety-deposit vaults...
333
00:25:23,655 --> 00:25:25,817
...but this is ridiculous.
334
00:25:25,991 --> 00:25:28,119
"Of the De Fanzinis.
335
00:25:28,293 --> 00:25:31,160
So that's why you refused
to sell our palazzo.
336
00:25:31,329 --> 00:25:33,058
- Darling, why else...?
- Oh, darling.
337
00:25:33,231 --> 00:25:36,826
Why else would I keep you
in this refrigerated ruin?
338
00:25:37,002 --> 00:25:38,367
MARGO:
Oh.
339
00:25:39,271 --> 00:25:42,172
COUNT:
Signor! Signor Solo. Ha.
340
00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:43,671
Signor!
341
00:25:43,842 --> 00:25:45,241
Is this"? Pardon, madam.
342
00:25:45,410 --> 00:25:47,469
- Is what you have been looking for?
- Hmm.
343
00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:51,974
My father.
344
00:25:52,150 --> 00:25:53,709
I never met mine, you know?
345
00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:56,013
The decree came through
the day I was born.
346
00:25:56,187 --> 00:25:58,315
But I thought you didn't get
anything from my father.
347
00:25:58,523 --> 00:26:01,982
Well, it looked valueless,
so naturally, I forgot all about it.
348
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,221
Luckily, I found it this morning
under his pillow.
349
00:26:06,531 --> 00:26:08,329
- Oh, my darling.
- Oh.
350
00:26:09,167 --> 00:26:12,000
- Anivederci.
COUNT: Ciao.
351
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,503
Mr. Solo.
352
00:26:16,675 --> 00:26:18,769
- Yes, sir?
WAVERLY [OVER RADIO]: Mr- Sofa.
353
00:26:19,611 --> 00:26:23,570
Uh, about that photograph...
354
00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:26,979
We've tried to interpret the symbols
in every possible way.
355
00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:30,782
Result: scientifically,
they're meaningless.
356
00:26:30,956 --> 00:26:34,517
Hmm, I see, sir.
Just something for the family album.
357
00:26:34,693 --> 00:26:36,684
I think not.
358
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:40,865
So far, you've followed
only one of the four winds.
359
00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:44,161
This may be the first piece
of a jigsaw puzzle.
360
00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:48,773
So good luck with Daughter Number 2.
361
00:26:51,743 --> 00:26:54,735
[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER PA]
362
00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:02,887
MAN [ON TV]: In splendid array,
the soldiers of the queen...
363
00:27:03,054 --> 00:27:05,580
mare marching proudly
in London's oldest traditional pageant...
364
00:27:05,757 --> 00:27:07,384
...the lord mayor's procession.
365
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:10,756
SANDY: I didn't get to see much of Home.
You could at least show me Camaby Street.
366
00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:13,398
I'm sorry, Sandy, not right now.
We're going to put you on ice.
367
00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:14,726
I'm not gonna stay cooped up.
368
00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:17,425
I'm gonna run away.
This is London. This is where the action is.
369
00:27:17,602 --> 00:27:20,936
Well, our orders are,
where the action is, you ain't.
370
00:27:21,106 --> 00:27:23,404
MAN [ON TV]: What have we here? My-- My goodness.
371
00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:26,306
Hey, look.
372
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:28,404
Imogen.
373
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:30,139
SOLO: Where?
SANDY: Right there.
374
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:32,943
MAN [ON TV]: That wasn't me.
It was a young gentleman in the crowd.
375
00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:35,485
SOLO:
Hmm. Daughter Number 2.
376
00:27:35,687 --> 00:27:40,022
MAN [ON TV]: Goad, here's a constable.
I'm sure he'll take care of the situation.
377
00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:42,091
I like that fringe.
378
00:27:43,194 --> 00:27:45,788
Have you got a pencil on you, miss?
Humph.
379
00:27:58,610 --> 00:28:01,238
“I was on duty in the Strand.
380
00:28:01,413 --> 00:28:03,814
The lord mayor's show
was in procession...
381
00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:07,612
...and when the coach
drew level with me, it stopped.
382
00:28:07,786 --> 00:28:10,050
And out of it stepped the accused.
383
00:28:10,221 --> 00:28:14,021
She was wearing a black-and-white
two-piece bathing costume.“
384
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:15,489
Is that all?
385
00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:18,687
No, sir. It had a fringe.
386
00:28:18,863 --> 00:28:20,763
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
387
00:28:20,932 --> 00:28:22,832
“I approached the accused and said:
388
00:28:23,268 --> 00:28:27,034
'Madam, your behavior,
by riding in the lord mayor's coach...
389
00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:30,664
...and your attire,
may well lead to a breach of the peace.'
390
00:28:31,142 --> 00:28:35,978
At this point, the jostling of the crowd
caused my helmet to fall over my eyes.
391
00:28:36,147 --> 00:28:39,344
I duly warned the people behind me
and the accused said:
392
00:28:39,517 --> 00:28:43,112
'Oh, darling, never mind them,
pinch me.'“
393
00:28:43,288 --> 00:28:45,222
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
394
00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:49,121
“I said, 'I shall, miss.
395
00:28:49,294 --> 00:28:50,955
Imogen Smythe...
396
00:28:51,129 --> 00:28:55,066
...I arrest you for conduct which may
well lead to a breach of the peace...
397
00:28:55,233 --> 00:28:58,828
...in that you are indecently exposed
in a public place.”
398
00:28:59,504 --> 00:29:03,099
And at the same time, sir.
I unrolled my rain cape...
399
00:29:03,274 --> 00:29:05,038
...and put it about the accused.
400
00:29:05,210 --> 00:29:07,804
And that was so sweet of you.
401
00:29:07,979 --> 00:29:10,004
But that leather against me...
402
00:29:10,181 --> 00:29:12,741
...well, I still have goose flesh.
403
00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:14,544
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
404
00:29:18,223 --> 00:29:19,884
MAGISTRATE: Step down, constable.
- Sir?
405
00:29:20,391 --> 00:29:22,052
I said, step down.
406
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,162
[CONSTABLE CLEARS THROAT]
407
00:29:27,565 --> 00:29:32,025
As a matter of fact,
you did everything beautifully.
408
00:29:32,203 --> 00:29:33,398
From the arrest 10--
409
00:29:33,571 --> 00:29:34,561
[GAVEL BANGING ON BENCH]
410
00:29:34,739 --> 00:29:37,265
MAGISTRATE: Constable, that's enough.
-[MOUTHS] Yes.
411
00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:38,603
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
412
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,041
Uh, Miss Smythe.
413
00:29:41,212 --> 00:29:42,373
Yes, darling?
414
00:29:42,547 --> 00:29:44,914
You must not call me that. It's contempt.
415
00:29:45,850 --> 00:29:48,285
Well, it's not in my circles.
416
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:50,649
[PEOPLE CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]
417
00:29:50,822 --> 00:29:53,553
MAGISTRATE: What is your profession?
- I shake.
418
00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:57,589
Shake? Shake what?
419
00:29:58,630 --> 00:29:59,859
I shake me.
420
00:30:00,031 --> 00:30:01,624
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
421
00:30:02,534 --> 00:30:05,765
Oh, you know, at the Girls a GoGo.
422
00:30:08,106 --> 00:30:09,267
[GAVEL BANGING]
423
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,431
MAGISTRATE:
One aspect emerges from this case.
424
00:30:11,943 --> 00:30:14,207
You appear to have courted arrest.
425
00:30:14,379 --> 00:30:18,282
I don't want to spend the rest of my life
at the Girls a GoGo shaking my--
426
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:20,042
Yes, yes, quite, quite.
427
00:30:20,218 --> 00:30:23,119
That's all. Further inquiries will be made.
428
00:30:23,288 --> 00:30:25,382
You're remanded for seven days.
429
00:30:27,158 --> 00:30:30,355
That's a dirty rotten shame.
430
00:30:31,262 --> 00:30:34,459
Oh, dear. Well-- Well, does that mean
that I have to be in jail?
431
00:30:34,632 --> 00:30:37,602
Yes, unless you can put up
500 pounds bail.
432
00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:38,759
[PEOPLE GASP]
433
00:30:38,937 --> 00:30:39,927
[GASPS]
434
00:30:40,104 --> 00:30:42,232
You've gotta be joking.
435
00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:45,570
Well, I couldn't raise Sixpence
at the moment.
436
00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:48,612
Well, you'll be permitted
to contact your friends.
437
00:30:51,783 --> 00:30:53,308
Right here, sir. Right here.
438
00:30:54,252 --> 00:30:58,314
[BAND PLAYING
“COME ON DOWN TO MY BOAT"]
439
00:31:26,517 --> 00:31:28,542
Ha! Hello, Stacy.
440
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,744
Hey, look at this.
441
00:31:29,921 --> 00:31:32,447
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
442
00:31:32,824 --> 00:31:35,350
MAN: You look beautiful.
WOMAN: Where have you been?
443
00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:37,858
- Out to tea.
WOMAN: For five hours?
444
00:31:38,029 --> 00:31:40,862
Oh, you know me, darling.
445
00:31:41,032 --> 00:31:43,933
I'm lost in the face of a toasted crumpet.
446
00:31:44,102 --> 00:31:45,831
Come on, this way to the dressing room.
447
00:31:53,778 --> 00:31:57,112
Well, here are all my worldly possessions.
448
00:32:06,024 --> 00:32:08,755
Cooler than Home, isn't it, Mr. Solo?
449
00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:11,055
Let me save you the trouble
of searching the room.
450
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:12,730
It's not here.
451
00:32:12,897 --> 00:32:15,696
He could be right, you know?
My things are in such a mess.
452
00:32:15,867 --> 00:32:18,234
Perhaps we can help you
to straighten them out.
453
00:32:20,838 --> 00:32:22,499
[MAN GRUNTS]
454
00:32:24,709 --> 00:32:26,006
[MEN GRUNTING]
455
00:32:31,749 --> 00:32:34,741
[BAND PLAYING
“COME ON DOWN TO MY BOAT"]
456
00:32:40,692 --> 00:32:42,683
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
457
00:32:45,596 --> 00:32:47,587
[ILLYA GRUNTS]
458
00:32:50,501 --> 00:32:52,435
[MEN GRUNTING]
459
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,372
[PEOPLE CHATTERING AND SCREAMING]
460
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:04,211
Quiet!
461
00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:05,440
[MUSIC AND CHATTERING STOP]
462
00:33:05,883 --> 00:33:08,545
This doesn't concern you. Go on playing.
463
00:33:10,288 --> 00:33:11,915
Play!
464
00:33:12,924 --> 00:33:14,915
[BAND PLAYING DANCE MUSIC]
465
00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:26,493
[MAN GRUNTS, SANDY SCREAMS]
466
00:33:29,907 --> 00:33:32,103
What happened, love?
467
00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:38,008
[MEN GRUNTING]
468
00:33:50,461 --> 00:33:52,486
- Where did you get this?
WOMAN: That's Imogen's.
469
00:33:53,131 --> 00:33:55,862
It's got her chiropractor's number
on the back.
470
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:59,800
Well, this business, you know, we're always
throwing our backs out or something.
471
00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:14,941
[GASPING]
472
00:34:23,227 --> 00:34:24,490
[WHISTLES BLOWING, MUSIC STOPS]
473
00:34:24,662 --> 00:34:25,857
IMOGEN:
You thief!
474
00:34:26,497 --> 00:34:27,487
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
475
00:34:27,665 --> 00:34:29,394
[IMOGEN YELLS]
476
00:34:29,567 --> 00:34:31,501
[BAND RESUMES PLAYING
“COME ON DOWN TO MY BOAT"]
477
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:37,474
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
478
00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:42,547
[IMOGEN SCREAMING]
479
00:34:42,713 --> 00:34:44,306
[IMOGEN GROANS]
480
00:34:44,482 --> 00:34:46,712
- Oh!
- You all right?
481
00:34:46,884 --> 00:34:49,285
Well, tell me, handsome...
482
00:34:49,454 --> 00:34:53,687
...will you thrust against me completely
against your will this time?
483
00:34:53,858 --> 00:34:57,192
- Well, not entirely.
- Oh.
484
00:34:57,361 --> 00:34:59,853
It's cold.
485
00:35:01,666 --> 00:35:05,625
Oh, well, how charming.
486
00:35:05,837 --> 00:35:08,636
[DUCKS QUACKING]
487
00:35:10,074 --> 00:35:11,235
Are you all right?
488
00:35:14,412 --> 00:35:16,403
I think I've found
what you're looking for.
489
00:35:16,581 --> 00:35:17,912
ILLYA:
What is it?
490
00:35:19,717 --> 00:35:20,946
Another photograph?
491
00:35:22,019 --> 00:35:26,547
Well, as Mr. Waverly would say,
“Better luck with Number 3.“
492
00:35:40,905 --> 00:35:46,400
Both photographs seem to be identical, sir.
except for the lettering in the background.
493
00:35:47,712 --> 00:35:50,079
Apparently, the answer lies
in those figures.
494
00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:53,684
[OVER RADIO] We might have to get
all four photographs before it makes sense.
495
00:35:53,851 --> 00:35:55,250
WAVERLY [OVER RADIO]:
I'm afraid so-.
496
00:35:55,419 --> 00:35:58,184
By the way, sir, how did
Miss Imogen Smythe make out?
497
00:35:58,356 --> 00:36:00,757
Oh, admirably.
498
00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:03,856
It seems she's engaged to be married
to a policeman.
499
00:36:05,263 --> 00:36:06,253
SOLO:
Hmm.
500
00:36:18,943 --> 00:36:20,968
Oh, Carl.
501
00:36:21,145 --> 00:36:25,104
If only we could go on like this forever.
502
00:36:32,290 --> 00:36:34,657
It can, forever.
503
00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:37,522
- How?
- It's simple.
504
00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:42,360
You move out of your hotel,
into my ski lodge...
505
00:36:42,533 --> 00:36:45,332
...and live happily ever after.
506
00:36:45,503 --> 00:36:48,837
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
507
00:36:49,006 --> 00:36:53,443
Isn't there something
you want to ask me first?
508
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:55,409
Uh, no.
509
00:36:55,580 --> 00:36:57,912
Something I have to tell you.
510
00:36:58,082 --> 00:37:00,210
I should have told you before.
511
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:02,216
[YVONNE CHUCKLING]
512
00:37:02,386 --> 00:37:04,582
- I'm married.
- Hmm--
513
00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:06,717
You are what?
514
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,017
[SIGHS]
515
00:37:08,192 --> 00:37:09,660
Married.
516
00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:13,623
I know, I know, I--
517
00:37:13,798 --> 00:37:15,288
I should have told you before, I know.
518
00:37:15,466 --> 00:37:17,594
I-- I should have had the courage.
519
00:37:17,768 --> 00:37:20,760
You know, my wife, a helpless invalid.
520
00:37:20,938 --> 00:37:22,337
I can't divorce her.
521
00:37:22,506 --> 00:37:25,567
- You're asking me 10--
- No, Yvonne.
522
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:28,041
Let's talk about it a little more practical.
523
00:37:28,212 --> 00:37:30,374
I find you,
a secretary for my Paris office...
524
00:37:30,548 --> 00:37:33,381
...here in a hotel
you clearly cannot afford...
525
00:37:33,551 --> 00:37:37,112
...wearing clothes
that are obviously not paid for.
526
00:37:37,288 --> 00:37:41,088
- What kind of girl do you think I am?
- The kind who's been here and there.
527
00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:47,062
And who would thoroughly enjoy
having a charge account...
528
00:37:47,231 --> 00:37:50,895
...in all those enchanting little shops
down in the town, huh?
529
00:37:51,068 --> 00:37:56,268
And why not?
You're such a pretty little thing. Hmm?
530
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,101
Oh!
531
00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:03,740
Sony, Hen Direktar.
Better luck next girl.
532
00:38:08,586 --> 00:38:10,418
Fraulein.
533
00:38:10,588 --> 00:38:13,649
Fraulein. Fraulein.
534
00:38:13,824 --> 00:38:15,986
It's about your bill.
535
00:38:16,394 --> 00:38:18,795
It hasn't been paid, I know.
But don't give up hope.
536
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:21,694
No, no, no. Entschuldigen, fréulein.
537
00:38:21,866 --> 00:38:23,834
The bill has been taken care of.
538
00:38:25,536 --> 00:38:27,436
[PAPER RUSTLING]
539
00:38:44,722 --> 00:38:46,417
Well, what are you?
540
00:38:46,590 --> 00:38:50,026
Santa Claus 01 Old Nick
in sheep's clothing?
541
00:38:50,194 --> 00:38:52,288
Let me put it this way, Yvonne:
542
00:38:52,463 --> 00:38:55,398
- I knew your mother well.
- Oh.
543
00:38:55,566 --> 00:38:58,627
But how grateful
do you expect me to be?
544
00:38:58,803 --> 00:39:02,068
I want a very special photograph.
545
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,834
Fly to London. My half sister,
she goes in for that sort of thing.
546
00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:09,310
RANDOLPH:
A pleasant thought, but, uh, listen.
547
00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:13,112
Actually, it's a photograph
of your stepfather, Dr. True, that I'm after.
548
00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:15,979
A photograph of Simon?
549
00:39:16,153 --> 00:39:19,783
Worth 30,000 shillings?
550
00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:23,388
If it's the one with some, uh--
Some figures in the background.
551
00:39:24,328 --> 00:39:28,561
- If that's all you want, it's in my room.
- It's not. I've already looked.
552
00:39:30,968 --> 00:39:32,561
Oh.
553
00:39:32,737 --> 00:39:36,503
It's in my bag, of course.
I must have left it up...
554
00:39:36,674 --> 00:39:38,608
In Hen Von Kesser's ski lodge.
555
00:39:38,776 --> 00:39:42,144
- Let's go.
- You don't waste time, do you?
556
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:49,616
Get me the hotel.
Suite 23, please. Mm-hm.
557
00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:53,416
Still no answer? Oh, never mind.
558
00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:56,686
No, no message. Hmm.
559
00:40:13,711 --> 00:40:16,180
Thank you. Yes, sir.
560
00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:20,215
There's a small but highly confidential
commission I wish you to undertake.
561
00:40:20,384 --> 00:40:21,749
Certainly, Hen Direktar.
562
00:40:21,919 --> 00:40:24,718
Uh, the young lady in Suite 23.
563
00:40:24,889 --> 00:40:27,290
Add her account to mine.
564
00:40:27,458 --> 00:40:28,823
That is impossible.
565
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:30,961
What?
566
00:40:32,062 --> 00:40:34,463
I don't know how to put this.
567
00:40:34,632 --> 00:40:37,624
Someone preceded you, sir.
568
00:40:37,802 --> 00:40:40,897
The bill has been paid.
569
00:40:41,639 --> 00:40:44,301
- By whom?
- A complete stranger to me.
570
00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,511
And, I think, to the fréulein.
571
00:40:48,078 --> 00:40:50,809
- Huh.
- Anything else, sir?
572
00:41:01,358 --> 00:41:03,520
Cognac. And make that a double.
573
00:41:03,694 --> 00:41:06,493
- That's what I need.
- Why? You're worried about Napoleon?
574
00:41:06,664 --> 00:41:08,758
Well, how long does it take
to search a room?
575
00:41:08,933 --> 00:41:11,265
Well, it depends who's in it.
576
00:41:11,435 --> 00:41:13,733
The young lady in Suite 23.
577
00:41:13,904 --> 00:41:16,669
You want to pay her bill as well?
578
00:41:17,808 --> 00:41:20,709
Uh, well, if necessary, yes.
579
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:23,337
I'm afraid you're the second gentleman...
580
00:41:23,781 --> 00:41:25,749
...who's too late.
581
00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:40,555
Excuse me.
582
00:41:40,731 --> 00:41:44,292
I understand we may be companions
in misfortune.
583
00:41:44,468 --> 00:41:47,768
Perhaps you could tell me
where I might find a Miss Yvonne.
584
00:41:48,539 --> 00:41:50,200
What is there about this girl?
585
00:41:51,242 --> 00:41:53,870
Two weeks, she carries on
as if I'm the only man in the world...
586
00:41:54,044 --> 00:41:57,309
...then we have a slight misunderstanding
and before you can say pfui...
587
00:41:57,481 --> 00:42:01,213
...she drops me like a hot kartaflel.
588
00:42:01,385 --> 00:42:03,786
- What?
- Like a hot kartuflel.
589
00:42:03,954 --> 00:42:05,444
A hot potato.
590
00:42:05,623 --> 00:42:07,648
- Oh.
- Oh, can you imagine?
591
00:42:07,825 --> 00:42:11,284
- Just because I said I'm married.
- Hmm. Heh.
592
00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:12,691
Women are funny.
593
00:42:12,863 --> 00:42:14,456
[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
594
00:42:14,632 --> 00:42:15,861
SOLO: Hmm?
- Yeah.
595
00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:17,933
Yeah, women are funny.
596
00:42:18,102 --> 00:42:19,433
Oh.
597
00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:23,201
Nevertheless, uh, perhaps you could tell me
where I might, uh--
598
00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:25,342
Thank you. "find her.
599
00:42:25,509 --> 00:42:28,103
Now, you look like a man of the world.
600
00:42:28,279 --> 00:42:31,044
Haven't you used this old dodge before?
601
00:42:31,215 --> 00:42:32,478
[CHUCKLES]
602
00:42:32,650 --> 00:42:33,674
Thank you.
603
00:42:33,851 --> 00:42:36,218
After I came running back here,
ready to apologize...
604
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:39,618
...and even to ask her to marry me...
605
00:42:39,790 --> 00:42:43,090
...she takes up with the first ski tramp
who pays her bill.
606
00:42:43,260 --> 00:42:44,659
Hmm.
607
00:42:45,162 --> 00:42:47,028
You know who the tramp was?
608
00:42:47,197 --> 00:42:48,665
Why do you ask me?
609
00:42:48,832 --> 00:42:50,857
Ask the desk clerk. He's got the money.
610
00:42:51,035 --> 00:42:53,629
Ahem, thank you.
611
00:42:54,605 --> 00:42:57,267
Ah, excuse me, ahem.
612
00:43:00,144 --> 00:43:02,135
Who was the man who paid that bill?
613
00:43:02,313 --> 00:43:04,111
I haven't the slightest idea.
614
00:43:04,281 --> 00:43:07,740
- Where are you going?
- Never you mind. You stay put.
615
00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:10,148
And order anything you want.
616
00:43:10,321 --> 00:43:12,050
As long as it's ice cream.
617
00:43:12,222 --> 00:43:14,850
SOLO: I know that man, he's dangerous.
Now, where did he go?
618
00:43:15,025 --> 00:43:16,117
Come on, I've got to know.
619
00:43:16,293 --> 00:43:18,159
[CLERK SPEAKING IN GERMAN]
620
00:43:18,329 --> 00:43:19,888
SOLO:
I've got to know.
621
00:43:20,064 --> 00:43:22,761
Now, you heard the gentleman.
Tell him. That's an order.
622
00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:26,597
They went to your ski lodge.
623
00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:37,077
Oh, I can't understand it.
I'm sure I left it up here.
624
00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:39,215
This isn't only a trick
to bring me here, hmm?
625
00:43:39,383 --> 00:43:41,078
Why would I do that?
626
00:43:41,251 --> 00:43:43,811
To give those U.N.C.L.E. agents
a chance to get the jump on me.
627
00:43:43,988 --> 00:43:46,150
What U.N.C.L.E. agents?
628
00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:50,760
I had an argument with Von Kesser
and I left in a hurry without my bag.
629
00:43:50,928 --> 00:43:53,693
- It has to be here some place.
- It better be.
630
00:43:53,864 --> 00:43:56,890
Remember, you've been paid for it already
and I don't like to waste my money.
631
00:43:57,067 --> 00:43:58,865
[GRUNTS]
632
00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:03,901
SOLO: How much further is it?
VON KESSER: Almost there.
633
00:44:04,074 --> 00:44:05,542
Wait.
634
00:44:33,837 --> 00:44:35,396
I'll take care of them.
635
00:44:40,944 --> 00:44:42,878
[GUNSHOT]
636
00:44:51,221 --> 00:44:53,747
Would you mind telling me
what this is all about?
637
00:44:55,392 --> 00:44:56,882
It will take too long to explain.
638
00:44:59,263 --> 00:45:01,527
They're trying to stop us
from getting to your lodge.
639
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:03,360
Yvonne is there.
640
00:45:04,134 --> 00:45:05,932
[GUNFIRE]
641
00:45:06,103 --> 00:45:09,937
ILLYA: Stay down.
VON KESSER: I got to get to her. Let me go.
642
00:45:36,033 --> 00:45:38,900
[MEN GRUNTING]
643
00:46:15,873 --> 00:46:16,863
[SCREAMS]
644
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,805
- Oh, please, I'm not lying!
- Not lying? You're Amanda's daughter.
645
00:46:19,977 --> 00:46:21,775
No, it has to be here some place.
646
00:46:21,945 --> 00:46:23,913
How can it be?
You've turned it over to U.N.C.L.E.
647
00:46:24,081 --> 00:46:26,448
I didn't, I didn't. I don't even know it.
648
00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:27,675
[YVONNE SCREAMS]
649
00:46:27,851 --> 00:46:29,819
[SOBBING]
650
00:46:29,987 --> 00:46:32,456
VON KESSER: Yvonne, darling.
- Oh, Carl.
651
00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:34,614
You wanna fight? Fight a man, you...
652
00:46:37,027 --> 00:46:41,191
All right, you, you model of chivalry.
Do you want to save your girlfriend?
653
00:46:41,365 --> 00:46:43,163
Name your price. I'll pay any amount.
654
00:46:43,333 --> 00:46:44,926
- Where is it?
- What?
655
00:46:45,102 --> 00:46:46,536
My bag.
656
00:46:46,703 --> 00:46:49,468
- Bag? Is that what you're looking for?
RANDOLPH: Where is it?
657
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,938
Oh, we-- I took it to the hotel.
658
00:46:52,109 --> 00:46:54,544
Oh, I-- I left it at the bar.
659
00:46:56,580 --> 00:47:00,608
[YVONNE SOBBING]
660
00:47:00,784 --> 00:47:03,754
VON KESSER:
Oh, my darling. It's all right now.
661
00:47:03,921 --> 00:47:07,380
Darling, it's all right.
Your Call is here now.
662
00:47:07,558 --> 00:47:09,959
My Call? You mean Frau Carl's Carl.
663
00:47:10,127 --> 00:47:12,118
No, but don't you understand?
There isn't any Frau.
664
00:47:12,296 --> 00:47:15,425
I only said it because, you know.
a man in my position...
665
00:47:15,599 --> 00:47:18,660
Your position? What about my position?
666
00:47:26,009 --> 00:47:27,704
Fraulein. Fraulein.
667
00:47:27,878 --> 00:47:30,040
[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]
668
00:47:36,420 --> 00:47:38,821
Oh, my bag.
How silly of me. Thank you.
669
00:47:38,989 --> 00:47:40,718
[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]
670
00:47:42,993 --> 00:47:46,156
- Did he get your bag?
- Certainly not. I left it at the hotel.
671
00:47:47,097 --> 00:47:49,225
That's where Sandy is.
672
00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:51,767
[YVONNE BREATHING HEAVILY]
673
00:47:53,003 --> 00:47:54,562
You...
674
00:47:54,738 --> 00:47:58,197
- You're--? You're not married?
- No, of course not.
675
00:47:58,375 --> 00:48:02,676
Don't you understand, Yvonne?
I only said it to test you.
676
00:48:02,846 --> 00:48:05,008
To make sure
that you're interested in me.
677
00:48:05,182 --> 00:48:07,583
And not my interlocking directorates.
678
00:48:07,751 --> 00:48:09,344
- You're not married?
- Uh-uh.
679
00:48:09,519 --> 00:48:11,044
[YVONNE GIGGLES]
680
00:48:18,028 --> 00:48:20,895
Hey, Mr. Solo, Mr. Kuryakin!
681
00:48:21,064 --> 00:48:24,227
If you fellows are still looking for it,
forget it. Here it is.
682
00:48:43,153 --> 00:48:45,884
SOLO:
We're ready to take off anytime you are.
683
00:48:46,056 --> 00:48:47,820
Hey, how about this?
684
00:48:52,162 --> 00:48:53,960
Our own private plane.
685
00:48:54,131 --> 00:48:56,156
You know, I've never even been
on a plane before.
686
00:48:56,333 --> 00:48:59,530
- Mr. Solo.
- Welcome aboard, gentlemen.
687
00:48:59,703 --> 00:49:02,638
[SANDY COUGHS THEN WHIMPERS]
688
00:49:58,562 --> 00:50:00,553
[ENGLISH SDH]
51764
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