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1
00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:40,208
With this ring be thou consecrated
unto me as my wife.
2
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,086
According to the law of Moses
and faith of Israel.
3
00:00:43,503 --> 00:00:46,131
According to the law of Moses
and faith of Israel.
4
00:00:46,381 --> 00:00:49,343
And you, Judy,
say to Yale these words.
5
00:00:49,594 --> 00:00:51,012
Take the ring.
6
00:00:53,848 --> 00:00:56,976
This ring is a symbol
that you are my husband.
7
00:00:57,226 --> 00:00:59,605
This ring is a symbol
that you are my husband.
8
00:00:59,855 --> 00:01:02,024
And a sign of my love and devotion.
9
00:01:02,274 --> 00:01:04,151
And a sign of my love and devotion.
10
00:01:04,776 --> 00:01:06,737
In the presence of these witnesses...
11
00:01:06,987 --> 00:01:09,281
...you spoke words
and performed the rites...
12
00:01:09,531 --> 00:01:11,659
...which unite your lives.
13
00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:14,412
I therefore declare you,
Yale and Judy...
14
00:01:14,746 --> 00:01:16,915
...husband and wife.
15
00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:19,751
Step on it.
16
00:01:22,713 --> 00:01:23,672
Mazel tov!
17
00:01:34,601 --> 00:01:38,939
PRIVATE BENJAMIN
18
00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:18,798
But I only have eyes
19
00:03:19,758 --> 00:03:21,760
For you
20
00:03:22,218 --> 00:03:24,931
Judy Goodman
21
00:03:25,598 --> 00:03:26,641
Do you have a date?
22
00:03:26,891 --> 00:03:30,770
No, I told your Uncle Phil
I'd meet him to look at his lease.
23
00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:34,107
- You're not going to work now?
- No, I'm not going to work.
24
00:03:34,358 --> 00:03:37,361
He thinks he's getting evicted.
Let me just talk to him.
25
00:03:37,611 --> 00:03:38,904
Okay?
26
00:03:39,613 --> 00:03:42,616
- Thanks for marrying me.
- You're welcome.
27
00:03:43,742 --> 00:03:45,578
Get me a Perrier with a twist?
28
00:03:52,627 --> 00:03:55,381
- Arnie!
- So you did it, huh?
29
00:03:56,715 --> 00:03:59,176
I can't believe you married Goodman...
30
00:03:59,426 --> 00:04:01,303
...when you could've had me.
31
00:04:01,637 --> 00:04:03,973
I could have lived with you, Arnie.
32
00:04:04,265 --> 00:04:06,101
Big difference.
33
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:09,896
Judy!
34
00:04:11,398 --> 00:04:15,111
Look who I found!
Mr. Waxman, the upholsterer.
35
00:04:15,361 --> 00:04:19,615
I didn't recognize you
without nails in your mouth.
36
00:04:20,741 --> 00:04:24,328
I brought a little something
I think you're going to love.
37
00:04:33,255 --> 00:04:36,426
Mr. Waxman, you finished the ottoman!
38
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:39,178
Yale will be thrilled.
39
00:04:39,971 --> 00:04:42,932
Wait a minute!
Is this mushroom piping?
40
00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:46,061
Looks beige-y to me, Ma.
This isn't the right color, is it?
41
00:04:46,312 --> 00:04:47,438
Ben...
42
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,565
...what happened to the mushroom?
43
00:04:49,815 --> 00:04:53,402
That's as close as you're going
to get to mushroom in Philadelphia.
44
00:04:53,652 --> 00:04:56,615
Mr. Waxman, we've been
through this a zillion times.
45
00:04:56,865 --> 00:04:59,993
I told you I'm doing Yale's study
in mushroom.
46
00:05:00,994 --> 00:05:04,289
I'm sure you could've found
a yard of mushroom fabric.
47
00:05:05,624 --> 00:05:08,085
You want it, I'll get it.
48
00:05:08,502 --> 00:05:10,671
This is your night!
49
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,133
Wheels?!
50
00:05:14,383 --> 00:05:16,929
Mr. Waxman, I wanted upholstered balls.
51
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,933
Upholstered balls?
52
00:05:31,986 --> 00:05:33,863
- Come on, Peanut.
- Where're we going?
53
00:05:34,113 --> 00:05:36,074
- My feet hurt.
- Your feet will be fine.
54
00:05:36,324 --> 00:05:37,618
I just want to talk to you.
55
00:05:46,210 --> 00:05:48,546
What? Want a divorce already?
56
00:05:48,797 --> 00:05:50,924
Darling, I have a very bad headache.
57
00:05:51,174 --> 00:05:55,345
No wonder, you've danced all night.
I'll get some Tylenol from Mom.
58
00:05:55,637 --> 00:05:56,554
Sweetheart...
59
00:05:56,805 --> 00:05:58,933
...it's not a Tylenol headache.
60
00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:01,602
- Honey!
- Please?
61
00:06:01,894 --> 00:06:04,981
- Honey, not here!
- Please, why not? Come on!
62
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:08,025
Why? Because everybody
I know is ten feet away.
63
00:06:08,277 --> 00:06:11,488
- They're having a good time. Please?
- No, I'll ruin my dress.
64
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:15,409
- Your dress is fine. Come on!
- Honey, please? I don't want to.
65
00:06:19,289 --> 00:06:21,040
Kiss me first.
66
00:06:36,765 --> 00:06:38,267
I love you so much.
67
00:06:38,517 --> 00:06:39,894
Hi, Yale.
68
00:06:41,479 --> 00:06:44,482
Judy's always been
a good girl. Always!
69
00:06:44,858 --> 00:06:47,277
She made a mistake
with the first husband.
70
00:06:47,527 --> 00:06:51,616
That's ancient history. The smartest
thing she ever did was to marry you.
71
00:06:51,866 --> 00:06:52,742
That's nice, Teddy.
72
00:06:52,992 --> 00:06:55,328
It's very important
for a father to know...
73
00:06:55,578 --> 00:06:58,956
...his daughter's going to be
well taken care of. Don't laugh!
74
00:06:59,415 --> 00:07:02,461
You'll know what I mean
when your daughter gets married.
75
00:07:02,711 --> 00:07:04,588
Anyway, that's number one.
76
00:07:04,838 --> 00:07:06,173
Number two!
77
00:07:06,465 --> 00:07:08,216
We'll still have Sunday breakfasts?
78
00:07:08,592 --> 00:07:10,261
- Of course, Daddy.
- Good.
79
00:07:10,511 --> 00:07:12,931
You can get the whitefish
on your way over.
80
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:17,518
I want to give you two
a little something from mother and me...
81
00:07:17,769 --> 00:07:19,228
...a little extra happiness.
82
00:07:22,232 --> 00:07:24,985
I guess it's not
carpeting for the living room.
83
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:31,493
That's for the future, not
Lord and Taylor, you little jerk!
84
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,249
Teddy, you're amazing!
85
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:40,710
It's my pleasure.
Just use it in good health.
86
00:07:40,962 --> 00:07:42,380
Thanks, Mom.
87
00:07:42,755 --> 00:07:44,799
I'll show my mother,
she'll go crazy!
88
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,301
I can't believe it!
89
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,306
Jude, get me a cigarette.
90
00:07:57,062 --> 00:07:58,313
Coming back inside, Daddy?
91
00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:01,693
I just want to see the recap
of tonight's game.
92
00:08:02,568 --> 00:08:04,320
Should I wait for you here?
93
00:08:09,075 --> 00:08:10,326
Dad?
94
00:08:11,704 --> 00:08:13,580
Get me a match, doll.
95
00:08:27,053 --> 00:08:30,724
Jerry, if you call her you'll
screw it up. That's my job, all right?
96
00:08:30,974 --> 00:08:31,850
No, to call her.
97
00:08:32,100 --> 00:08:36,230
How long you married? Anything more
than 15 years, you lose the house.
98
00:08:36,522 --> 00:08:39,358
It's not my rule,
that's just the way it is.
99
00:08:39,859 --> 00:08:41,611
Keep the boat, it's a male item.
100
00:08:43,071 --> 00:08:46,825
Prenups is the only way
to get around this and it's too late.
101
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:50,037
Give her the microwave,
it's a built-in!
102
00:08:50,537 --> 00:08:53,333
It comes with the house.
What'll you do with one oven?
103
00:08:54,626 --> 00:08:56,753
It's late now.
6:30 a.m. Monday...
104
00:08:57,003 --> 00:09:00,798
...we'll play racquetball. We'll
figure it out then. Can you wait?
105
00:09:01,049 --> 00:09:03,385
We'll be in Jamaica
6:30 Monday.
106
00:09:03,636 --> 00:09:05,304
I'll be on my honeymoon Monday.
107
00:09:05,554 --> 00:09:07,264
I'll call you from Jamaica.
108
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,266
I don't know, from the hotel.
109
00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:13,103
No, you'll be halved at worst.
You're okay.
110
00:09:13,647 --> 00:09:15,106
Prenups, babe!
111
00:09:18,485 --> 00:09:21,071
- That'll never happen to us.
- I know.
112
00:09:21,446 --> 00:09:25,326
- Did this bathroom turn out gorgeous?
- This ass is gorgeous.
113
00:09:25,576 --> 00:09:27,078
Come here.
114
00:09:29,288 --> 00:09:31,499
- What?
- Wait, honey.
115
00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,668
Wait just one second.
116
00:09:33,918 --> 00:09:36,338
- Lift your back leg.
- I don't have a back leg.
117
00:09:36,588 --> 00:09:41,260
It's our wedding night. It's not
real romantic making love in the sink.
118
00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:44,889
- It's romantic making love anywhere.
- I know. I love you.
119
00:09:45,139 --> 00:09:49,477
- Let's go into the bedroom.
- We're going into the bedroom next.
120
00:09:50,395 --> 00:09:52,605
Just here. Good, sweetie!
121
00:09:53,273 --> 00:09:54,482
Honey, good!
122
00:09:56,819 --> 00:09:58,988
You're on my hair,
get off my hair.
123
00:10:00,322 --> 00:10:01,323
How's that?
124
00:10:11,751 --> 00:10:14,004
- Oh, honey!
- What?
125
00:10:17,174 --> 00:10:19,176
- Oh, sweetie!
- What?
126
00:10:20,303 --> 00:10:21,429
I'm coming!
127
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,112
Why don't we go and get in bed?
128
00:10:52,713 --> 00:10:57,135
Oh, God, full of compassion,
thou who dwellest on high.
129
00:10:57,636 --> 00:11:01,431
Grant perfect rest unto
the soul of Yale Goodman...
130
00:11:01,681 --> 00:11:03,975
...who has departed from this world.
131
00:11:04,434 --> 00:11:07,271
Lord of mercy, bring him
into Thy presence...
132
00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:12,485
...and let his soul be bound up
in the bond of eternal life.
133
00:11:13,694 --> 00:11:14,987
Amen.
134
00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:17,908
I can't try to console you...
135
00:11:18,158 --> 00:11:20,786
...by saying there is
any justice in this world.
136
00:11:21,036 --> 00:11:23,413
Just be thankful for the friendship...
137
00:11:23,664 --> 00:11:27,794
...and tenderness you and Yale
had the opportunity to share.
138
00:11:29,295 --> 00:11:34,342
My philosophy of life has gotten me
through some very rough times.
139
00:11:34,842 --> 00:11:36,719
Let me share it with you.
140
00:11:39,306 --> 00:11:41,266
Que Serรก, Serรก.
141
00:11:42,101 --> 00:11:44,395
I got it from the song.
142
00:11:56,032 --> 00:11:57,284
Judith?
143
00:11:59,328 --> 00:12:00,997
Just one thing.
144
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,416
If you can remember...
145
00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:07,586
...what were Yale's last words?
146
00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:12,217
"I'm coming."
147
00:12:14,553 --> 00:12:16,513
I know you don't want to hear this...
148
00:12:17,681 --> 00:12:20,935
...but you got to get
right back into circulation.
149
00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:24,981
When you fall off the horse,
you got to climb right back on.
150
00:12:25,231 --> 00:12:27,609
Aunt Kissy, please!
151
00:12:28,901 --> 00:12:31,530
Could I be alone now?
152
00:12:32,156 --> 00:12:33,699
I'm sorry.
153
00:12:40,457 --> 00:12:41,541
She wants to be alone.
154
00:12:41,791 --> 00:12:43,877
She wants to be alone.
155
00:12:44,544 --> 00:12:47,797
She doesn't want to live in their place.
I can't blame her.
156
00:12:48,048 --> 00:12:52,511
- Sell everything and buy her new.
- Buy her new? She'll live with us.
157
00:12:52,803 --> 00:12:56,307
- What if she doesn't want to?
- She doesn't know what she wants.
158
00:12:56,557 --> 00:12:59,936
And what's she going to do now?
Be my secretary again?
159
00:13:00,228 --> 00:13:04,858
The girl's 29 years old
and trained to do nothing.
160
00:13:05,275 --> 00:13:07,027
I'm 28.
161
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:21,669
Look what we got!
162
00:13:55,455 --> 00:13:57,791
I've never not belonged to somebody.
163
00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:59,126
Never.
164
00:13:59,376 --> 00:14:02,422
My first boyfriend was
in nursery school. I was two...
165
00:14:02,672 --> 00:14:04,549
...and he was three and since then...
166
00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:09,053
...I've been pinned,
lavaliered, engaged...
167
00:14:09,429 --> 00:14:11,514
...married twice.
168
00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:15,185
The first time, I was twenty.
169
00:14:16,562 --> 00:14:19,398
See, I've been in this room
eight days...
170
00:14:19,648 --> 00:14:24,404
...and it's really the first eight days
I've ever been alone in my life.
171
00:14:25,405 --> 00:14:26,948
If I'm not going to be married...
172
00:14:27,198 --> 00:14:30,744
...I don't know what I'm
supposed to do with myself.
173
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:35,249
Did you happen to see
that movie Unmarried Woman?
174
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,628
Well, I didn't get it.
175
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,547
I would've been
Mrs. Alan Bates so fast...
176
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,217
...that guy wouldn't have
known what hit him.
177
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,012
The thing is, and then I'll shut up...
178
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:52,559
...I haven't done anything wrong.
179
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,938
And I feel like I'm being punished!
180
00:14:58,358 --> 00:15:01,235
I thought I'd be
filling up my freezer...
181
00:15:01,486 --> 00:15:06,200
...and be getting this new
pine sideboard that I ordered and...
182
00:15:14,417 --> 00:15:16,336
Jessica, I do hate...
183
00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:19,673
...to stop your free association,
but our switchboard's flooded.
184
00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:23,885
So set your phone down
and turn your radio up, okay?
185
00:15:24,136 --> 00:15:25,805
Hello, Night Owl,
you're on the air.
186
00:15:26,764 --> 00:15:30,017
You lucked out. I read in
the Enquirer this morning...
187
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:31,852
...that marriage causes cancer.
188
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:34,398
Philadelphia Night Owl,
you're on the air.
189
00:15:34,648 --> 00:15:37,943
About that Palestinian homeland.
In your Bible you'll see...
190
00:15:38,193 --> 00:15:40,988
...that the Arabs had first dibs
on the West Bank.
191
00:15:41,238 --> 00:15:42,406
Not tonight, Del, thanks.
192
00:15:42,656 --> 00:15:44,826
Line 4, have you
got advice for Jessica?
193
00:15:45,076 --> 00:15:47,161
Yes, I do. Hi, Jessica.
194
00:15:47,453 --> 00:15:48,454
My name is Jim.
195
00:15:48,705 --> 00:15:50,915
First let me say
how terribly sorry I am...
196
00:15:51,207 --> 00:15:53,251
...about your misfortune.
197
00:15:53,501 --> 00:15:57,381
And nobody knows better than you
that things can't get much worse.
198
00:15:58,048 --> 00:16:01,635
It's also pretty obvious that
you need guidance, security...
199
00:16:01,885 --> 00:16:05,849
...good friends and a healthy dose
of self-confidence, Jessica.
200
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:11,229
What I'm saying is,
I think I can help you find a new life.
201
00:16:35,005 --> 00:16:36,883
- Are you Jessica?
- Jim?
202
00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:38,384
Yeah, hi.
203
00:16:39,218 --> 00:16:40,803
Am I late or you early?
204
00:16:41,054 --> 00:16:43,056
I'm just a few hours early.
205
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,557
Come on.
206
00:16:49,563 --> 00:16:51,940
I should tell you,
my name is really Judy.
207
00:16:52,191 --> 00:16:55,653
I just didn't want anybody I knew
to hear me on the radio.
208
00:16:55,903 --> 00:16:58,323
- Macht nichts.
- What?
209
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:01,409
It means,
"It makes no difference" in German.
210
00:17:01,701 --> 00:17:04,037
I was stationed over there
for 26 months.
211
00:17:04,287 --> 00:17:06,831
UNITED STATES ARMY
RECRUITING STATION
212
00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:09,418
What does that look like to you?
213
00:17:09,835 --> 00:17:11,337
What? Club Med?
214
00:17:12,254 --> 00:17:15,174
It's the Fort Ord Army
Base in Monterey, California.
215
00:17:15,925 --> 00:17:17,761
Those look like condos.
216
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:22,849
And every soldier gets
his or her own private room.
217
00:17:23,392 --> 00:17:24,685
What are these, yachts?
218
00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:28,815
The Army is the best-kept secret
in the world, Judy.
219
00:17:29,065 --> 00:17:32,026
Looks great, but you don't know me.
220
00:17:32,276 --> 00:17:34,237
I'm not the Army type.
221
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:37,031
Forget that old brown boot
image of the Army.
222
00:17:37,281 --> 00:17:41,662
It's the 80s Army, all the ladies love
it. All 89,000 of them.
223
00:17:41,996 --> 00:17:44,456
Check out this list of jobs.
224
00:17:44,748 --> 00:17:49,170
There's over 300 jobs, and only
a couple of them not offered to ladies.
225
00:17:49,421 --> 00:17:51,631
Trained killers, stuff like that.
226
00:17:52,424 --> 00:17:55,385
- How much do you earn per month now?
- Now?
227
00:17:56,469 --> 00:17:57,345
Nothing.
228
00:17:57,595 --> 00:17:58,889
Nothing?
229
00:18:03,269 --> 00:18:04,603
Thanks.
230
00:18:06,188 --> 00:18:07,690
What are you thinking?
231
00:18:10,944 --> 00:18:12,821
I'm thinking about...
232
00:18:14,531 --> 00:18:16,533
...my family...
233
00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:18,952
...and my house...
234
00:18:20,663 --> 00:18:23,333
...and all the gifts I have to return.
235
00:18:26,586 --> 00:18:31,300
You shouldn't be saddled with a lot of
responsibilities and decisions now.
236
00:18:31,633 --> 00:18:36,680
I'm prepared to offer you $458 a month,
train you in the job of your choice...
237
00:18:37,139 --> 00:18:39,976
...pay for your food, your housing,
all your medical...
238
00:18:40,226 --> 00:18:43,938
...and give you a 30-day paid vacation.
I'll tell you something...
239
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,149
...with your education and background...
240
00:18:46,399 --> 00:18:49,027
...you could easily land an assignment
in Europe.
241
00:18:49,277 --> 00:18:50,613
Europe?
242
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,866
I do need to get away.
243
00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:57,745
I promise, you'll be in the best
physical shape you've ever been in.
244
00:18:58,829 --> 00:19:01,458
It will be like 3 years at La Costa.
245
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:04,378
La Costa. That's good!
246
00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:10,425
What if I hate it once I get there?
247
00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:11,719
Quit.
248
00:19:11,928 --> 00:19:14,097
It's a job, like anything else.
249
00:19:22,606 --> 00:19:23,565
I...
250
00:19:23,941 --> 00:19:25,150
State your full name.
251
00:19:26,652 --> 00:19:28,737
Do solemnly swear or affirm...
252
00:19:30,364 --> 00:19:32,242
...I will support and defend...
253
00:19:33,785 --> 00:19:36,079
...the Constitution
of the United States...
254
00:19:38,331 --> 00:19:40,959
...from all enemies,
foreign and domestic.
255
00:19:42,753 --> 00:19:45,297
That I will bear true faith
and allegiance...
256
00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:47,800
...to the same...
257
00:19:49,176 --> 00:19:51,053
...and will obey the orders...
258
00:19:52,639 --> 00:19:54,933
...of the President
of the United States...
259
00:19:56,518 --> 00:19:59,187
...and the orders of
the officers over me...
260
00:20:01,523 --> 00:20:03,318
...according to regulations.
261
00:20:11,326 --> 00:20:12,619
All right.
262
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:16,582
My name is Sergeant L.C. Ross.
263
00:20:16,832 --> 00:20:20,919
And I'll be your drill sergeant
for your 6 weeks basic training.
264
00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:24,257
My job is to turn you
lovely ladies and gentlemen...
265
00:20:24,507 --> 00:20:26,593
...into United States soldiers.
266
00:20:27,177 --> 00:20:30,680
The first thing we'll do is put you
through your in-processing.
267
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:35,728
While you are waiting in line for your
processing, you will not, I repeat...
268
00:20:35,978 --> 00:20:39,482
...you will not be flapping your lips.
269
00:20:39,940 --> 00:20:42,485
You'll be filling out these forms.
270
00:20:43,737 --> 00:20:47,616
I'm going to call out your names
and I want you to line up behind me.
271
00:20:51,286 --> 00:20:52,245
Abbott.
272
00:20:52,496 --> 00:20:53,623
Barnett.
273
00:20:55,124 --> 00:20:56,376
Benjamin.
274
00:20:57,710 --> 00:20:58,753
Benjamin!
275
00:20:59,003 --> 00:21:00,254
- Sir.
- Fall in, Benjamin.
276
00:21:00,505 --> 00:21:01,673
I'm Private Winter...
277
00:21:01,923 --> 00:21:05,803
...but I think I can be of assistance
in locating Private Benjamin.
278
00:21:06,512 --> 00:21:07,680
Sir.
279
00:21:19,484 --> 00:21:21,653
- Are we at the fort?
- Yes we are.
280
00:21:21,987 --> 00:21:24,030
Time to wake up now.
281
00:21:25,408 --> 00:21:26,367
In a sec.
282
00:21:26,701 --> 00:21:28,494
Get your ass up
and out on the company street!
283
00:21:33,374 --> 00:21:34,625
I never!
284
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:37,087
Give me 10 pushups!
Knock them out!
285
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,464
You mind if I check into
my room first?
286
00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:41,925
Assume the position and hit it!
287
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,343
Now!
288
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,482
Up! Down!
289
00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:01,822
What is this, hell week?
290
00:22:02,072 --> 00:22:03,115
No, Benjamin...
291
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,284
...this is the Army!
292
00:22:14,169 --> 00:22:17,423
Excuse me, sir, is green
the only color these come in?
293
00:22:19,050 --> 00:22:22,261
Close it up back there,
you meatheads. Go!
294
00:22:22,636 --> 00:22:24,972
Pick it up! Pick it up!
Close it up!
295
00:22:25,222 --> 00:22:28,393
Close up that field back there!
Come on, move it!
296
00:22:29,978 --> 00:22:32,147
Where are the yachts?
297
00:22:39,906 --> 00:22:43,117
- Excuse me, are you a reporter?
- Who, me?
298
00:22:43,785 --> 00:22:44,744
No.
299
00:22:45,453 --> 00:22:49,041
I joined up, but I'm not staying.
There's been a mistake.
300
00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:51,377
I'll straighten it out
when the manager gets here.
301
00:22:51,627 --> 00:22:54,713
Man on the floor! In front
of your cots at attention!
302
00:22:59,636 --> 00:23:01,971
Barracks ready for inspection, Captain.
303
00:23:12,942 --> 00:23:16,570
What's the matter, honey?
Are you a crybaby?
304
00:23:16,821 --> 00:23:17,698
No, sir.
305
00:23:17,948 --> 00:23:18,990
Ma'am!
306
00:23:23,078 --> 00:23:25,956
I know how all you ladies
drool over this...
307
00:23:26,206 --> 00:23:28,793
...this Fonzie character...
308
00:23:29,127 --> 00:23:30,461
...but not in my outfit.
309
00:23:30,712 --> 00:23:31,629
Burn it.
310
00:23:44,059 --> 00:23:46,478
- Your name, soldier?
- Private Winter, ma'am.
311
00:23:58,742 --> 00:24:01,704
Outstanding, Winter. Outstanding.
312
00:24:02,371 --> 00:24:03,539
Ladies!
313
00:24:03,789 --> 00:24:05,666
Examine Private Winter's locker.
314
00:24:05,916 --> 00:24:07,084
Learn from it.
315
00:24:09,086 --> 00:24:12,591
You keep this up and we'll talk
officer's candidate school.
316
00:24:12,883 --> 00:24:14,968
Thank you, ma'am!
317
00:24:26,272 --> 00:24:29,108
This brassiere isn't regulation, Ross.
318
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:31,236
And neither is this face.
319
00:24:31,487 --> 00:24:34,615
And you look like a clown, soldier.
Clean up your act.
320
00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:41,289
Gianelli's a 308, ma'am.
321
00:24:45,168 --> 00:24:47,796
So it was the Army or jail?
322
00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:52,218
After 6 weeks with me,
you're going to wish you chose Attica.
323
00:24:52,468 --> 00:24:54,553
Don't push me, punk.
324
00:24:55,096 --> 00:24:59,767
This is the most pathetic group
of trainees I have ever laid my eyes on.
325
00:25:01,687 --> 00:25:03,689
My companies are the best-trained...
326
00:25:03,939 --> 00:25:06,900
...the best-disciplined
soldiers on this base.
327
00:25:10,529 --> 00:25:14,242
I hate to interrupt you,
but could I speak to you for a sec?
328
00:25:14,492 --> 00:25:18,037
My Lord! Sergeant,
would you look at this!
329
00:25:18,287 --> 00:25:20,123
I've seen it, ma'am.
330
00:25:21,417 --> 00:25:23,627
What's your name, Princess?
331
00:25:23,877 --> 00:25:24,962
Judy.
332
00:25:25,921 --> 00:25:28,549
Judy Benjamin.
333
00:25:30,884 --> 00:25:34,139
I think they sent me to the wrong...
334
00:25:34,764 --> 00:25:36,266
...place.
335
00:25:37,142 --> 00:25:41,771
You see, I did join the Army,
but I joined a different Army.
336
00:25:42,023 --> 00:25:46,610
I joined the one with the condos
and the private rooms.
337
00:25:49,697 --> 00:25:53,076
No, really! My recruiter,
Jim Ballard, told me that...
338
00:25:53,326 --> 00:25:57,289
I don't care what your lousy recruiter
told you, Benjamin.
339
00:25:57,539 --> 00:25:59,708
I'm telling you, there is no other Army.
340
00:26:00,459 --> 00:26:01,793
Wait a minute.
341
00:26:02,044 --> 00:26:04,547
I don't want to have to
go to your boss, okay?
342
00:26:07,133 --> 00:26:11,888
To be truthful with you, I can't
sleep in a room with 20 strangers.
343
00:26:12,221 --> 00:26:13,223
Oh, dear!
344
00:26:13,474 --> 00:26:16,268
Look at this place.
The Army couldn't afford drapes?
345
00:26:16,518 --> 00:26:19,229
I'll be up at the crack of dawn here.
346
00:26:20,689 --> 00:26:24,277
And I have to tell you,
I am frankly a little shocked.
347
00:26:25,111 --> 00:26:26,529
You're shocked?
348
00:26:26,863 --> 00:26:27,822
Why?
349
00:26:28,073 --> 00:26:31,117
This place is a sty.
350
00:26:33,913 --> 00:26:37,083
Look at these stains.
God knows where this has been.
351
00:26:38,709 --> 00:26:40,795
And have you seen the bathroom?
352
00:26:46,176 --> 00:26:49,721
Do you think that
the latrine is unsanitary?
353
00:26:50,639 --> 00:26:51,932
It's disgusting!
354
00:26:53,225 --> 00:26:55,645
There are urinals in there.
355
00:26:56,979 --> 00:26:59,440
That's because this is the Army...
356
00:27:00,733 --> 00:27:02,652
...it's not a sorority house.
357
00:27:05,948 --> 00:27:09,368
May I see your toothbrush?
Please?
358
00:27:29,390 --> 00:27:32,643
Yale, how could you do this to me?
359
00:27:53,541 --> 00:27:55,334
You could eat off that floor.
360
00:27:55,585 --> 00:27:57,337
Why don't you.
361
00:28:10,310 --> 00:28:12,062
Reveille! Let's go!
362
00:28:12,312 --> 00:28:13,980
Everybody up!
363
00:28:14,230 --> 00:28:15,482
Move it!
364
00:28:15,857 --> 00:28:18,027
Everybody up! Everybody move!
365
00:28:18,986 --> 00:28:20,863
Everybody, Benjamin!
366
00:28:21,113 --> 00:28:24,533
You can't mean me.
I worked the night shift.
367
00:28:24,825 --> 00:28:27,245
Go check out the bathroom,
it's fabulous.
368
00:28:42,595 --> 00:28:43,930
Alpha Company...
369
00:28:44,180 --> 00:28:45,890
...attention!
370
00:28:46,182 --> 00:28:49,144
Bravo Company, attention!
371
00:29:05,286 --> 00:29:06,413
At ease, gentlemen...
372
00:29:06,830 --> 00:29:07,832
...and ladies.
373
00:29:10,668 --> 00:29:12,420
I'm your post commander.
374
00:29:13,212 --> 00:29:14,797
Colonel Clay Thornbush.
375
00:29:15,089 --> 00:29:16,132
Welcome...
376
00:29:16,424 --> 00:29:19,594
...to the Biloxi, Mississippi
Basic Training Center.
377
00:29:19,845 --> 00:29:21,722
The backbone of the U.S. Army.
378
00:29:21,972 --> 00:29:25,100
You have two company commanders
to lead you through basic.
379
00:29:25,350 --> 00:29:27,269
Capt. Doreen Lewis,
a 5-year veteran...
380
00:29:27,519 --> 00:29:29,564
...here at Fort Biloxi,
of Alpha Company.
381
00:29:29,814 --> 00:29:31,357
And a newcomer to the family...
382
00:29:31,607 --> 00:29:34,360
...Captain William Wooldridge,
Bravo Company.
383
00:29:34,610 --> 00:29:37,447
Here, we turn out
the best-fed, best-trained...
384
00:29:37,697 --> 00:29:40,034
...soldiers, but it doesn't come easy.
385
00:29:40,451 --> 00:29:43,704
It does not happen overnight.
You must have the strength...
386
00:29:44,955 --> 00:29:47,916
...the self-discipline,
and mental stamina necessary...
387
00:29:48,167 --> 00:29:51,087
...to meet the standards
of the United States Army.
388
00:29:51,337 --> 00:29:53,423
The next 6 weeks will be the test.
389
00:29:54,257 --> 00:29:55,633
It'll be hell...
390
00:29:57,552 --> 00:29:59,430
...but you'll be glad you did it.
391
00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:03,893
Move it!
392
00:30:06,020 --> 00:30:07,271
Left, right! Left!
393
00:30:16,740 --> 00:30:20,244
I thought it would be
a few leg lifts, a little stretching...
394
00:30:20,495 --> 00:30:22,872
...maybe a disco class, you know.
395
00:30:23,122 --> 00:30:25,833
You're not real talkative,
are you, Soyer?
396
00:30:26,667 --> 00:30:27,835
We run them out...
397
00:30:28,127 --> 00:30:29,754
...and we march them back.
398
00:30:30,714 --> 00:30:35,177
Then about twice a week,
I spring a surprise inspection on them.
399
00:30:35,427 --> 00:30:37,096
That's good Army.
400
00:30:38,389 --> 00:30:40,182
Keeps them on their toes.
401
00:30:42,018 --> 00:30:44,521
- Got one more question.
- Shoot.
402
00:30:46,147 --> 00:30:47,107
Are you busy Friday?
403
00:32:18,582 --> 00:32:20,250
Look out, Gianelli!
404
00:32:29,302 --> 00:32:31,262
I can't take anymore.
They've broken me.
405
00:32:31,513 --> 00:32:34,100
- I'm quitting.
- Girl, you can't quit this Army.
406
00:32:34,350 --> 00:32:37,603
I can. The recruiter told me
quit anytime I want.
407
00:32:37,853 --> 00:32:40,564
Jesus, you still believe
your recruiter?
408
00:32:40,815 --> 00:32:42,691
It's only for 3 years.
409
00:32:42,942 --> 00:32:45,153
Company halt!
410
00:32:51,076 --> 00:32:52,119
Move it, Benjamin!
411
00:32:52,369 --> 00:32:56,416
I don't want to see you stop running
unless you collapse, faint or puke!
412
00:33:08,721 --> 00:33:12,141
I have never looked
worse in my life!
413
00:33:13,517 --> 00:33:16,187
Has anybody ever died from basic?
414
00:33:50,892 --> 00:33:52,351
Excuse me.
415
00:34:00,652 --> 00:34:02,863
I think you took my blanket.
416
00:34:03,363 --> 00:34:06,868
This is my blanket.
You gave it to me.
417
00:34:08,912 --> 00:34:12,040
- I don't think I did.
- Maybe you just forgot.
418
00:34:12,290 --> 00:34:14,084
Maybe you got brain damage.
419
00:34:17,129 --> 00:34:18,881
Okay, I gave it to you.
420
00:34:19,131 --> 00:34:20,633
By mistake.
421
00:34:21,425 --> 00:34:23,719
- I want it back, okay?
- Take it.
422
00:35:16,110 --> 00:35:17,695
Where are you going?
423
00:35:19,406 --> 00:35:20,741
Home.
424
00:35:28,582 --> 00:35:31,169
We're going to have to
do this again real soon.
425
00:35:32,378 --> 00:35:34,464
How about every Friday night?
426
00:35:36,549 --> 00:35:39,094
I'm going to set you free, Doreen.
427
00:36:02,912 --> 00:36:05,164
Captain Lewis, ma'am,
we've got trouble.
428
00:36:09,251 --> 00:36:10,754
My hair!
429
00:36:19,554 --> 00:36:22,391
Benjamin, you are not fit
to wear that uniform!
430
00:36:22,642 --> 00:36:24,310
No shit!
431
00:36:27,438 --> 00:36:31,610
What do you want from me?
I didn't ask her to punish everybody!
432
00:36:31,860 --> 00:36:34,571
You think I like schlepping
in rain all day and night?
433
00:36:34,822 --> 00:36:36,949
Just keep marching, Benjamin!
434
00:36:37,199 --> 00:36:40,327
My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y...
435
00:36:40,577 --> 00:36:43,206
...and I'd like somebody
to call me by my name.
436
00:36:43,832 --> 00:36:45,208
Hey, Judy!
437
00:36:46,543 --> 00:36:49,170
I took my life in my own hands.
I made a mistake.
438
00:36:49,421 --> 00:36:52,800
I'm sorry. I'll never do it again!
I want to wear my sandals!
439
00:36:54,427 --> 00:36:56,595
I want to go out to lunch.
440
00:36:56,846 --> 00:36:58,722
I want to be normal again.
441
00:36:59,014 --> 00:37:01,893
Would you please
just shut up, Benjamin!
442
00:37:02,144 --> 00:37:05,605
God! Never in all my born days
met such a whiny...
443
00:37:05,939 --> 00:37:07,816
...candy-ass as you!
444
00:37:08,066 --> 00:37:11,361
I don't want to be in the Army!
445
00:37:16,701 --> 00:37:18,286
But we do, okay?
446
00:37:18,536 --> 00:37:20,955
We can't afford any more trouble
on account of you.
447
00:37:22,666 --> 00:37:25,127
I thought you and I
could be friends, but you're...
448
00:37:25,377 --> 00:37:28,172
- Forget it!
- What? I'm what?
449
00:37:28,964 --> 00:37:32,218
You're the most
insensitive person I've ever met.
450
00:37:32,552 --> 00:37:34,554
That is so untrue!
451
00:37:34,804 --> 00:37:38,892
I never go to someone's
home empty-handed!
452
00:37:39,350 --> 00:37:41,102
People love me!
453
00:37:41,352 --> 00:37:42,353
Platoon, halt!
454
00:37:43,564 --> 00:37:44,982
Fall out!
455
00:37:52,866 --> 00:37:54,075
To the day room...
456
00:37:54,326 --> 00:37:55,494
...on the double!
457
00:38:14,306 --> 00:38:16,141
They didn't tell me it was you.
458
00:38:26,236 --> 00:38:27,445
Hi, Mom.
459
00:38:36,038 --> 00:38:37,623
Hi, Daddy.
460
00:38:44,673 --> 00:38:46,216
Sit down, Judy.
461
00:38:47,968 --> 00:38:49,302
I was...
462
00:38:49,553 --> 00:38:52,889
...going to call, but I wasn't
feeling very good.
463
00:38:56,310 --> 00:38:57,895
Eight days.
464
00:38:58,896 --> 00:39:00,982
Our daughter disappears...
465
00:39:01,232 --> 00:39:03,985
...for eight days without a single word.
466
00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:10,075
We thought you were kidnapped.
The FBI was looking for you...
467
00:39:10,325 --> 00:39:12,369
...when some stranger calls...
468
00:39:12,619 --> 00:39:16,624
...telling us how fine you are
and that you'd enlisted in the Army.
469
00:39:17,959 --> 00:39:19,919
We tried to figure out why.
470
00:39:21,045 --> 00:39:24,090
Personally, I think you've gone
temporarily insane.
471
00:39:24,674 --> 00:39:26,927
That's what we told everyone.
472
00:39:27,428 --> 00:39:29,972
We said that you had a collapse...
473
00:39:30,222 --> 00:39:32,266
...and that you were in a mental home.
474
00:39:33,601 --> 00:39:35,227
People think I'm in a mental home?
475
00:39:36,354 --> 00:39:37,397
What should we say?
476
00:39:37,647 --> 00:39:41,485
That you're in an Army barracks
in Mississippi with a bunch of...
477
00:39:41,735 --> 00:39:44,112
- What?
- I don't know what!
478
00:39:45,822 --> 00:39:47,658
That's why I don't like it.
479
00:39:49,660 --> 00:39:53,122
How could you do this to your parents?
480
00:39:53,664 --> 00:39:58,212
Haven't we done enough for you?
Given you everything you wanted?
481
00:39:58,462 --> 00:40:02,966
Did I get you a car on your sixteenth
birthday? Did I get you into college?
482
00:40:03,217 --> 00:40:06,721
Did I bail you out of your first
marriage to that schmuck? Did I?
483
00:40:06,971 --> 00:40:07,847
Relax.
484
00:40:08,098 --> 00:40:09,891
I am relaxed!
485
00:40:14,562 --> 00:40:17,316
Why are you punishing us?
486
00:40:22,238 --> 00:40:24,115
Maybe you hate us.
487
00:40:26,826 --> 00:40:28,703
I don't hate you,
I love you.
488
00:40:30,997 --> 00:40:33,708
You know your Aunt Kissy
is living with us now.
489
00:40:35,001 --> 00:40:35,877
Why?
490
00:40:36,211 --> 00:40:38,923
Because you mother's had a
nervous breakdown, that's why!
491
00:40:43,928 --> 00:40:48,308
You were never a smart girl.
We're all going to stop pretending now.
492
00:40:50,853 --> 00:40:55,149
You are obviously incapable
of making your own decisions.
493
00:40:55,774 --> 00:40:59,529
Starting tomorrow,
I do not let you out of my sight.
494
00:40:59,779 --> 00:41:01,239
I don't care how much you cry.
495
00:41:01,823 --> 00:41:03,741
The Benjamins!
496
00:41:04,742 --> 00:41:06,327
Captain Lewis.
497
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,085
It is so good to meet you in person.
498
00:41:13,794 --> 00:41:14,712
Thank you.
499
00:41:16,338 --> 00:41:18,675
Captain Lewis said we could
take you home, darling.
500
00:41:19,301 --> 00:41:23,555
I'm sorry that things just
didn't work out here for Judy.
501
00:41:24,556 --> 00:41:26,683
She's a hard worker.
502
00:41:26,933 --> 00:41:29,187
She's very... popular...
503
00:41:29,437 --> 00:41:31,731
...with all the other girls.
504
00:41:32,398 --> 00:41:34,901
We are sad to see her go.
505
00:41:37,528 --> 00:41:41,533
If you sign here on the dotted line,
you're as good as home, young lady.
506
00:41:42,659 --> 00:41:43,952
Right there.
507
00:41:47,289 --> 00:41:48,791
Here, darling. Here you are.
508
00:41:50,335 --> 00:41:52,796
Come on, take it.
509
00:41:55,632 --> 00:41:57,175
No, thanks.
510
00:41:58,551 --> 00:42:00,304
Think I'll stay.
511
00:42:13,443 --> 00:42:14,319
Mom.
512
00:42:14,986 --> 00:42:15,862
Daddy.
513
00:43:13,593 --> 00:43:14,969
All right, knock it off!
514
00:43:15,219 --> 00:43:16,721
Break it! Let's go!
515
00:43:46,879 --> 00:43:51,217
Welcome to the Biloxi War Games,
the Super Bowl of Basic Training.
516
00:43:51,509 --> 00:43:54,429
Simulated combat will test
your skills and courage.
517
00:43:54,679 --> 00:43:58,099
Captain Wooldridge will lead
the red team. Captain Lewis...
518
00:43:58,350 --> 00:44:02,229
...the blue team. I will be observing
the exercises from the air.
519
00:44:03,104 --> 00:44:05,191
Good luck.
And fight proud!
520
00:44:07,318 --> 00:44:08,569
Fight proud!
521
00:44:18,997 --> 00:44:20,457
Thompson, Hike...
522
00:44:20,707 --> 00:44:22,751
...Katz, Byron...
523
00:44:23,001 --> 00:44:24,045
...Richter!
524
00:44:24,796 --> 00:44:28,925
Your objective is to capture and blow
up Red Team's communication center.
525
00:44:29,175 --> 00:44:31,136
Beware, mine-fields are out there.
526
00:44:31,386 --> 00:44:33,138
Most of them are inert...
527
00:44:33,388 --> 00:44:34,640
...but some are ert.
528
00:44:35,182 --> 00:44:36,517
Take off!
529
00:44:36,767 --> 00:44:37,893
Private Winter!
530
00:44:40,604 --> 00:44:42,982
You'll serve as Captain Lewis'
aide-de-camp.
531
00:44:44,191 --> 00:44:46,027
Sir. Yes, sir!
532
00:44:47,112 --> 00:44:47,988
Team "C"!
533
00:44:48,530 --> 00:44:50,490
Gianelli, Glass...
534
00:44:50,740 --> 00:44:52,742
...Moe, Benjamin...
535
00:44:52,993 --> 00:44:54,161
...Soyer!
536
00:44:55,204 --> 00:44:58,166
Your objective is to
guard this area here.
537
00:44:58,416 --> 00:45:00,877
Excuse me, Drill Sergeant,
what is that area?
538
00:45:02,003 --> 00:45:03,421
That's the swamp.
539
00:45:04,046 --> 00:45:05,006
Swamp?
540
00:45:07,676 --> 00:45:09,094
Take off!
541
00:45:25,653 --> 00:45:28,824
If you can't read that map,
why don't you just say it?
542
00:45:29,074 --> 00:45:31,285
You're supposed
to be the point man!
543
00:45:31,535 --> 00:45:33,537
Benj pointed me in the wrong direction!
544
00:45:33,829 --> 00:45:37,292
- What am I, Magellan?
- What are we going to guard, algae?
545
00:45:39,169 --> 00:45:41,087
Let's just go straight north.
546
00:45:41,338 --> 00:45:43,465
- We came from the north!
- Let's go south.
547
00:45:43,715 --> 00:45:45,133
Wait! Relax.
548
00:45:45,383 --> 00:45:47,345
If we can't get back by tomorrow...
549
00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:49,222
...they'll send a search plane.
550
00:45:49,472 --> 00:45:51,724
We have enough bodies
to spell "help"?
551
00:45:52,225 --> 00:45:53,184
Let's go.
552
00:46:00,108 --> 00:46:03,070
The first time I ever did it...
553
00:46:10,745 --> 00:46:14,415
...was on an overnight hike
with my Bible class.
554
00:46:16,835 --> 00:46:21,090
We're talking Laemil Lefebvre,
my preacher's son.
555
00:46:26,887 --> 00:46:31,351
I'd never done nothing
in my life before. Nothing!
556
00:46:31,601 --> 00:46:34,187
And he just climbed right smack-dab...
557
00:46:34,437 --> 00:46:37,232
...in the middle of my sleeping bag,
and I was scared.
558
00:46:39,235 --> 00:46:42,446
Not to mention the fact
that his daddy, the preacher...
559
00:46:42,697 --> 00:46:45,366
...was right over there,
just about ten feet away.
560
00:46:45,616 --> 00:46:46,492
How was it?
561
00:46:47,702 --> 00:46:49,121
Quiet...
562
00:46:49,663 --> 00:46:52,666
...but very nice. Very nice!
563
00:46:56,211 --> 00:46:58,213
I had an orgasm once.
564
00:47:01,176 --> 00:47:02,969
But I was alone.
565
00:47:05,346 --> 00:47:08,349
I guess you must have been alone.
566
00:47:15,733 --> 00:47:17,276
Once...
567
00:47:18,027 --> 00:47:22,574
...when I was with my first husband,
I got to this place...
568
00:47:22,866 --> 00:47:25,827
...that was kind of nice and tingly.
569
00:47:31,209 --> 00:47:33,336
I don't know if it was official.
570
00:47:33,586 --> 00:47:36,422
I mean, I don't know
if this was an official...
571
00:47:36,672 --> 00:47:38,674
...orgasm, you know.
572
00:47:41,261 --> 00:47:45,349
But I counted it as one for five years.
573
00:47:48,519 --> 00:47:50,438
How many times
have you been married?
574
00:47:53,525 --> 00:47:54,901
Twice.
575
00:47:57,570 --> 00:48:00,407
The first time for six weeks...
576
00:48:00,741 --> 00:48:02,493
...and the second time...
577
00:48:02,743 --> 00:48:04,119
...for six hours.
578
00:48:04,370 --> 00:48:05,246
Six hours?
579
00:48:05,996 --> 00:48:08,290
My husband had a heart attack and died.
580
00:48:08,541 --> 00:48:09,500
What?!
581
00:48:11,503 --> 00:48:14,005
My husband had a heart attack...
582
00:48:14,256 --> 00:48:17,425
...and died on our wedding night.
583
00:48:19,094 --> 00:48:21,139
While we were making love.
584
00:48:22,306 --> 00:48:23,850
Holy shit!
585
00:48:24,100 --> 00:48:26,060
Jesus, Benjamin!
586
00:48:26,394 --> 00:48:29,147
I don't get it. What do you do
after a thing like that?
587
00:48:33,527 --> 00:48:35,237
Join the Army.
588
00:48:57,428 --> 00:49:01,390
We're lost. We've passed
that same alligator 7 times.
589
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,435
I bet the war games are over by now.
590
00:49:03,685 --> 00:49:06,855
- Lewis is going to just kill us!
- There's a plane!
591
00:49:07,105 --> 00:49:09,691
I bet that's headed back to base.
Let's follow it.
592
00:49:09,941 --> 00:49:12,487
I hope it's not Delta to Miami.
593
00:49:13,654 --> 00:49:16,282
Look, it's the Red Army headquarters.
594
00:49:19,285 --> 00:49:20,495
Quiet!
595
00:49:26,710 --> 00:49:27,794
Great.
596
00:49:28,170 --> 00:49:31,673
- You owe me $6.95.
- You got it!
597
00:49:43,646 --> 00:49:47,441
Hey, blood, how you doing?
All right, looking good!
598
00:49:47,691 --> 00:49:50,402
- What's happening, girl?
- What can I tell you?
599
00:49:51,153 --> 00:49:53,490
You're my prisoner of war,
that's what's happening!
600
00:49:53,740 --> 00:49:57,577
- I ain't your nothing. Get that...
- I mean what I say!
601
00:50:01,164 --> 00:50:02,332
Drop it!
602
00:50:05,628 --> 00:50:06,546
No, you drop it.
603
00:50:08,172 --> 00:50:09,715
I said, drop it!
604
00:50:11,968 --> 00:50:15,556
- Where's Captain Wooldridge?
- In the tent interrogating a P.O.W.
605
00:50:16,431 --> 00:50:17,850
Get the keys to the truck.
606
00:50:18,392 --> 00:50:19,560
Come on.
607
00:50:23,021 --> 00:50:24,649
- Oh, shit!
- Don't worry.
608
00:50:24,899 --> 00:50:27,068
- I'll hot-wire it.
- You know how?
609
00:50:27,569 --> 00:50:29,154
That's my former career.
610
00:50:29,404 --> 00:50:30,530
Excellent!
611
00:50:48,258 --> 00:50:49,467
What?
612
00:50:51,928 --> 00:50:52,804
Freeze!
613
00:50:53,638 --> 00:50:55,558
Private Winter!
614
00:50:57,685 --> 00:50:59,228
Well, lookee here!
615
00:50:59,478 --> 00:51:03,107
- Look what we got.
- Listen, Captain Lewis...
616
00:51:03,816 --> 00:51:06,195
She sent me out to find you guys and...
617
00:51:07,488 --> 00:51:08,780
...I got captured.
618
00:51:10,073 --> 00:51:12,701
He promised me he'd put in
a good word with Captain Lewis.
619
00:51:12,951 --> 00:51:14,620
And I really don't like him.
620
00:51:15,370 --> 00:51:17,123
Take the prisoners.
621
00:51:18,708 --> 00:51:21,419
Attention all Red Team personnel.
622
00:51:21,669 --> 00:51:24,797
The Blue Team has surrendered.
The Red Team has won.
623
00:51:25,048 --> 00:51:26,592
So follow us.
624
00:51:27,510 --> 00:51:29,720
Attention all Red Team personnel.
625
00:51:30,137 --> 00:51:31,722
The Blue Team has surrendered.
626
00:51:31,972 --> 00:51:34,517
The Red Team has won, so follow us.
627
00:51:40,273 --> 00:51:42,275
Red Team captured!
628
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,445
Ross, take the platoon...
629
00:51:46,613 --> 00:51:47,740
...head due west.
630
00:51:49,408 --> 00:51:52,954
I'll lead the remaining troops
to the east.
631
00:52:00,879 --> 00:52:02,130
What now?
632
00:52:02,548 --> 00:52:03,757
Got any ideas?
633
00:52:10,348 --> 00:52:12,851
Off your asses!
On your feet!
634
00:52:17,355 --> 00:52:20,276
Overwhelming enemy forces approaching.
635
00:52:20,985 --> 00:52:25,698
Blue Team Company Commander
requests permission to surrender, sir.
636
00:52:26,157 --> 00:52:28,201
Do you accept
surrender of Blue Team?
637
00:52:28,451 --> 00:52:31,872
No, sir. We do not, because
we are also the Blue Team, sir.
638
00:52:32,122 --> 00:52:33,665
Identify yourself, soldier!
639
00:52:33,915 --> 00:52:36,334
Sir, Private Benjamin, sir!
640
00:52:49,850 --> 00:52:51,185
At ease!
641
00:52:51,435 --> 00:52:53,353
Which one of you is Private Benjamin?
642
00:52:53,604 --> 00:52:54,771
Sir, I am, sir.
643
00:52:56,648 --> 00:52:58,860
- Outstanding!
- Thank you, sir!
644
00:52:59,110 --> 00:53:02,155
Here's the rest of the squad.
Privates Glass, Gianelli...
645
00:53:02,405 --> 00:53:04,741
...Private Moe and Private Soyer, sir.
646
00:53:06,242 --> 00:53:08,077
Where is the Red Team Commander?
647
00:53:39,403 --> 00:53:42,199
Captain Lewis, you are lucky
to have troopers like this!
648
00:53:42,533 --> 00:53:43,867
Congratulations!
649
00:53:44,326 --> 00:53:47,412
Next time don't be so quick
to raise the white flag.
650
00:53:48,163 --> 00:53:50,583
- Yes, sir.
- The war games are concluded.
651
00:53:50,834 --> 00:53:54,087
Troops are dismissed.
I will see you tomorrow at graduation.
652
00:54:00,803 --> 00:54:03,180
- Yes, sir!
- Can I offer your team a lift?
653
00:54:19,906 --> 00:54:24,287
Meet two of our Thornbirds!
Lieutenant Gomez and Sergeant Gates.
654
00:54:27,081 --> 00:54:30,001
Fabulous uniforms!
What's a Thornbird, sir?
655
00:54:30,251 --> 00:54:34,840
An elite airborne corp. We recruit
them from the best bases in the country.
656
00:54:35,465 --> 00:54:38,218
I'm damn proud of them,
like I'm proud of you girls.
657
00:54:38,468 --> 00:54:40,596
It's a hell of a job you did today!
658
00:54:41,973 --> 00:54:43,433
Where do you hail from?
659
00:54:44,642 --> 00:54:46,352
Philadelphia, sir.
660
00:54:47,729 --> 00:54:51,733
It's the seat of our democracy!
Thornie Two is from Philadelphia.
661
00:54:52,151 --> 00:54:53,194
Thornie Two, sir?
662
00:54:53,611 --> 00:54:54,862
My wife.
663
00:54:55,696 --> 00:54:58,866
After 20 years watching us crazy guys
jump out of airplanes...
664
00:54:59,241 --> 00:55:02,036
...she decided she wanted to try it.
Remember, Ed?
665
00:55:03,163 --> 00:55:05,290
We took her up,
almost had to shove her out!
666
00:55:05,707 --> 00:55:07,876
She had a good time,
but she landed wrong.
667
00:55:08,251 --> 00:55:12,088
Broke her arm in 3 places. Lucky
we didn't have to shoot her, right?
668
00:55:13,508 --> 00:55:14,842
We're approaching, sir.
669
00:55:15,218 --> 00:55:17,678
I'll take her down.
You trust me, don't you?
670
00:55:17,929 --> 00:55:19,013
Oh, yes, sir!
671
00:55:19,388 --> 00:55:22,058
Then let's do it to it!
672
00:55:22,683 --> 00:55:26,855
- Tell your men to hang on, Benjamin!
- Hang on, men.
673
00:56:35,890 --> 00:56:37,975
Whoop-de-do!
674
00:56:40,603 --> 00:56:43,689
Inspection, ladies!
675
00:56:57,163 --> 00:56:58,873
Lady Luck!
676
00:57:03,794 --> 00:57:06,590
Don't you look at me
with those baby blues.
677
00:57:08,467 --> 00:57:11,136
I'm not the great Thornie.
678
00:57:13,931 --> 00:57:18,770
You finally succeeded in making
a fool out of me, didn't you?
679
00:57:20,522 --> 00:57:21,940
Ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
680
00:57:22,398 --> 00:57:26,027
I've got a reward for you,
my little hero.
681
00:57:27,321 --> 00:57:30,991
You're all going to scour
every inch of this rat's nest!
682
00:57:31,825 --> 00:57:33,661
Inside and out.
683
00:57:35,704 --> 00:57:38,875
I mean the bed frames,
the window ledges...
684
00:57:39,125 --> 00:57:41,211
...the linoleum...
685
00:57:43,088 --> 00:57:44,798
...the toilet seats.
686
00:57:46,967 --> 00:57:48,636
You understand me?
687
00:57:49,095 --> 00:57:51,180
Ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
688
00:57:51,931 --> 00:57:53,307
I can't hear you.
689
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:57,855
I can't hear you!
690
00:58:06,697 --> 00:58:07,907
Thank you.
691
00:58:11,828 --> 00:58:14,747
It breaks my little old heart...
692
00:58:14,998 --> 00:58:17,292
...to have to bust up
our winning team...
693
00:58:17,542 --> 00:58:20,546
...but I have been assigned
to a new post.
694
00:58:20,796 --> 00:58:22,464
A good post!
695
00:58:23,966 --> 00:58:26,719
Let's not keep in touch, shall we!
696
00:59:09,015 --> 00:59:11,560
Busted up, the whole team.
697
00:59:11,810 --> 00:59:13,312
Busted up.
698
00:59:14,647 --> 00:59:17,441
I have been assigned to a new post.
699
00:59:24,449 --> 00:59:25,617
Come on.
700
01:00:04,451 --> 01:00:05,953
Good post!
701
01:00:37,237 --> 01:00:38,697
That was nice.
702
01:00:39,907 --> 01:00:42,118
Keep in touch, shall we?
703
01:02:03,999 --> 01:02:05,126
At ease!
704
01:02:09,297 --> 01:02:11,090
Didn't think you'd make it, did you?
705
01:02:13,384 --> 01:02:16,305
You will no longer
be known as trainees.
706
01:02:18,724 --> 01:02:21,184
You have earned the right
to call yourselves...
707
01:02:21,476 --> 01:02:24,688
...United States soldiers,
and I'm proud of each of you.
708
01:02:27,358 --> 01:02:29,068
On Monday you will receive...
709
01:02:29,319 --> 01:02:32,322
...your advanced individual
training assignments.
710
01:02:32,947 --> 01:02:34,073
Each of you...
711
01:02:41,081 --> 01:02:42,166
...will be given...
712
01:02:42,708 --> 01:02:45,336
...a special responsibility
which will play...
713
01:02:45,587 --> 01:02:48,673
...a key role in the
defense of the free world.
714
01:02:49,007 --> 01:02:51,259
My heartfelt congratulations
and best wishes.
715
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:55,388
I almost forgot.
716
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:00,186
Dismissed till 0800 Monday morning.
Have a good one!
717
01:03:28,842 --> 01:03:29,718
Evening, ladies.
718
01:03:29,969 --> 01:03:31,512
We're not interested.
719
01:03:31,762 --> 01:03:33,597
Sorry.
720
01:03:35,099 --> 01:03:36,934
All right, I'm uptight, okay?
721
01:03:37,185 --> 01:03:40,605
Get yourself a drink,
we're going to cruise.
722
01:04:09,345 --> 01:04:12,724
Judy Benjamin, this is Johnny Rourke.
723
01:04:12,974 --> 01:04:15,351
And Kim... I forget your last name.
724
01:04:15,602 --> 01:04:16,728
Osaka.
725
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:20,858
Come on, sweetheart, let's go.
726
01:04:23,903 --> 01:04:26,155
What's happening, Judy?
727
01:04:28,867 --> 01:04:30,160
Bourbon, no ice.
728
01:04:32,329 --> 01:04:34,581
I'm with Olivetti of Tokyo.
729
01:04:34,831 --> 01:04:37,292
Johnny is my southeastern
U.S. Sales manager.
730
01:04:37,542 --> 01:04:40,338
He always shows me a hip time.
731
01:04:44,508 --> 01:04:46,177
What time is it?
732
01:04:48,596 --> 01:04:50,557
I just took your picture, mama!
733
01:04:52,768 --> 01:04:54,770
Very hip.
734
01:04:55,187 --> 01:04:57,981
Look, I've got to go back to the base.
735
01:04:58,232 --> 01:05:00,693
Where's the fire? Come on.
736
01:05:01,361 --> 01:05:04,155
This could be a big night for you.
737
01:05:05,740 --> 01:05:07,450
Sincerely.
738
01:05:09,703 --> 01:05:11,372
Liz?
739
01:05:11,872 --> 01:05:13,290
- How are you?
- God, I'm fine.
740
01:05:13,540 --> 01:05:15,834
I can't believe this!
741
01:05:16,835 --> 01:05:20,340
Listen, thanks,
but I don't need the loan.
742
01:05:20,590 --> 01:05:22,300
What are you doing in New Orleans?
743
01:05:22,550 --> 01:05:25,178
My dad's here on a medical
conference and we all came.
744
01:05:25,428 --> 01:05:27,055
Come and see them, they'll die!
745
01:05:27,305 --> 01:05:29,808
Wait a minute.
Who is that with your parents?
746
01:05:31,435 --> 01:05:35,356
A French gynecologist. He and Dad
spoke on the Lamaze panel together.
747
01:05:35,815 --> 01:05:37,858
- Isn't he totally gorgeous?
- Totally.
748
01:05:38,109 --> 01:05:40,403
If it weren't for Jeffrey,
I'd go for him myself.
749
01:05:40,654 --> 01:05:42,573
Look who I found!
750
01:05:44,366 --> 01:05:46,368
My God, how are you, darling?
751
01:05:46,618 --> 01:05:50,497
Kid, you look wonderful!
Please give me a hug.
752
01:05:54,419 --> 01:05:55,795
Sit down.
753
01:05:58,673 --> 01:06:01,050
- Henri Tremont.
- Benjamin, Judy.
754
01:06:01,302 --> 01:06:04,054
Will you look at this?
GI Judy!
755
01:06:04,305 --> 01:06:06,265
We'll call your parents.
756
01:06:06,515 --> 01:06:08,475
They'll be so thrilled we saw you.
757
01:06:08,726 --> 01:06:11,228
Your mother's coming along very nicely.
758
01:06:11,521 --> 01:06:13,398
She gained back some of the weight.
759
01:06:14,941 --> 01:06:15,984
Champagne?
760
01:06:16,276 --> 01:06:17,569
I'd love some, thank you.
761
01:06:17,819 --> 01:06:19,195
Since Yale's fu...
762
01:06:20,614 --> 01:06:24,410
By the way, I can't get over you
in this Army outfit.
763
01:06:24,660 --> 01:06:27,371
She didn't swim because
she didn't want her hair wet.
764
01:06:27,622 --> 01:06:28,831
This is true.
765
01:06:29,081 --> 01:06:30,458
What it's like to be a WAC?
766
01:06:30,750 --> 01:06:33,337
- I'm not a WAC.
- How often do you talk to your folks?
767
01:06:33,587 --> 01:06:36,340
Tell Henri how long
we've known your parents.
768
01:06:36,632 --> 01:06:39,259
Shall I make a long story short?
769
01:06:40,093 --> 01:06:41,803
Leo and I and Judy's parents...
770
01:06:42,054 --> 01:06:46,267
...double-dated in Atlantic City,
before even any one of us was married.
771
01:06:46,517 --> 01:06:49,771
It wasn't Atlantic City.
It was Asbury Park, but it's all right.
772
01:06:50,021 --> 01:06:53,442
I've never been to
Asbury Park in my life.
773
01:06:56,362 --> 01:06:57,488
Would you like to dance?
774
01:06:57,988 --> 01:06:59,698
I'd love to dance.
775
01:07:13,589 --> 01:07:15,258
The Lemishes are terrific people...
776
01:07:15,508 --> 01:07:19,053
...but 4 hours of making long stories
short was driving me crazy.
777
01:07:19,303 --> 01:07:22,139
4 hours? Try 28 years.
778
01:07:26,103 --> 01:07:28,897
I've never danced with a soldier before.
779
01:07:29,147 --> 01:07:32,025
I've never danced as a soldier before.
780
01:07:35,029 --> 01:07:37,240
- I kind of like it.
- So do I.
781
01:07:42,954 --> 01:07:45,207
Do you have a boyfriend in this Army?
782
01:07:45,457 --> 01:07:46,709
No.
783
01:07:48,794 --> 01:07:50,754
Don't you get lonely?
784
01:07:51,797 --> 01:07:55,552
- How'd you get to speak English so well?
- Baltimore.
785
01:07:55,802 --> 01:07:58,847
- Maryland?
- I went to med school at Johns Hopkins.
786
01:08:17,618 --> 01:08:21,371
I just can't believe
that you're in this Army.
787
01:08:24,082 --> 01:08:26,502
If I knew you better,
I'd show you my dog tags.
788
01:08:28,212 --> 01:08:29,380
How much better?
789
01:08:49,653 --> 01:08:51,613
Let's go to my room.
790
01:08:56,786 --> 01:08:59,247
I'm really attracted to you.
791
01:09:00,248 --> 01:09:04,669
But I'm not ready to make love to a
man I just met an hour and a half ago.
792
01:09:05,544 --> 01:09:07,256
I'm sorry.
793
01:09:07,673 --> 01:09:09,800
That's just the way I am.
794
01:09:11,551 --> 01:09:16,181
Usually, by the time I kiss a guy, I
already know his mother's maiden name.
795
01:09:18,893 --> 01:09:20,645
I wish I knew you better.
796
01:09:21,229 --> 01:09:22,981
I'm thirty-four...
797
01:09:23,273 --> 01:09:26,317
...and I live alone in Neuilly,
on the outskirts of Paris.
798
01:09:27,695 --> 01:09:30,197
I'm the only child...
799
01:09:30,698 --> 01:09:33,033
...and my father is also a doctor.
800
01:09:34,326 --> 01:09:35,619
What else?
801
01:09:36,829 --> 01:09:39,332
When I'm not working I play soccer.
802
01:09:41,042 --> 01:09:43,044
Let's see...
803
01:09:44,212 --> 01:09:45,797
I'm Jewish.
804
01:10:09,365 --> 01:10:12,910
Now I know what I've been
faking all these years.
805
01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:24,381
That was your first?
806
01:10:26,383 --> 01:10:28,010
And second.
807
01:10:40,566 --> 01:10:42,109
Where are you going?
808
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:45,571
- Just to get a sip of champagne.
- I want to go with you.
809
01:11:00,546 --> 01:11:02,048
I'm sorry.
810
01:11:06,261 --> 01:11:07,553
No I'm not.
811
01:11:10,891 --> 01:11:12,309
What?
812
01:11:13,727 --> 01:11:15,437
Private Benjamin.
813
01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:20,902
Meeting you tonight was...
814
01:11:24,155 --> 01:11:26,408
It was just what I needed.
815
01:11:36,460 --> 01:11:38,587
What you needed?
816
01:11:46,805 --> 01:11:48,557
If you're ever in Paris...
817
01:11:49,725 --> 01:11:51,519
If you're ever in Biloxi.
818
01:11:56,232 --> 01:11:57,984
It was nice meeting you.
819
01:12:18,840 --> 01:12:19,966
What did you get?
820
01:12:20,216 --> 01:12:24,180
- MP School.
- You can put your violence to good use.
821
01:12:24,472 --> 01:12:26,724
- Smoke and flame specialist.
- What's that?
822
01:12:26,974 --> 01:12:27,934
A fireman.
823
01:12:28,184 --> 01:12:30,770
I got transferred to
Fort Ord, California.
824
01:12:31,020 --> 01:12:33,815
You got the yachts, honey!
You got the yachts!
825
01:12:34,399 --> 01:12:36,610
- What?
- OCS.
826
01:12:36,860 --> 01:12:38,528
Can you believe it?!
827
01:12:38,779 --> 01:12:43,576
- Honey, you're going to be an officer.
- There goes a beautiful friendship.
828
01:12:43,826 --> 01:12:44,744
What did you get?
829
01:12:45,036 --> 01:12:47,330
I don't know. I'm petrified.
830
01:12:47,705 --> 01:12:49,207
Excuse me!
831
01:12:49,582 --> 01:12:51,501
- Where's Benjamin?
- Right there.
832
01:12:52,502 --> 01:12:53,504
Thornbirds?
833
01:12:54,463 --> 01:12:55,714
Me?
834
01:12:56,215 --> 01:12:57,883
They don't have women Thornbirds.
835
01:12:58,133 --> 01:12:59,551
They do now.
836
01:13:04,766 --> 01:13:08,561
I was a skinny fighting lad
No more than seventeen
837
01:13:08,812 --> 01:13:12,899
The sorriest excuse for a man
That you have ever seen
838
01:13:13,149 --> 01:13:16,821
But now I am a Thornbird
And as proud as I can be
839
01:13:17,071 --> 01:13:21,117
Colonel Thornbush
Made a man out of me
840
01:13:26,039 --> 01:13:30,002
Glory, glory
I'll be falling through the sky
841
01:13:30,252 --> 01:13:34,131
Glory, glory
I am not afraid to die
842
01:13:34,382 --> 01:13:37,844
Glory, glory
I'm as proud as I can be
843
01:13:38,094 --> 01:13:42,181
Colonel Thornbush
Made a man out of me
844
01:14:36,617 --> 01:14:38,619
Good morning, sir.
845
01:14:38,869 --> 01:14:40,454
I'd like you to meet my wife.
846
01:14:41,372 --> 01:14:45,209
- Good to meet you, Mrs. Thornbush.
- Good to meet you, Miss Lady Thornbird.
847
01:14:45,459 --> 01:14:48,380
- I've heard a lot about you.
- Thank you.
848
01:14:48,713 --> 01:14:50,674
I guess this is the Thorndog.
849
01:14:51,007 --> 01:14:52,258
Shake, Scrabble!
850
01:14:54,344 --> 01:14:57,807
You must be nervous
about the big jump tomorrow.
851
01:14:58,057 --> 01:15:00,559
The Colonel says I can do it.
I guess I can.
852
01:15:00,810 --> 01:15:03,396
The Colonel's motto is,
"Life is a series...
853
01:15:03,646 --> 01:15:07,150
...of challenges to be
met and mastered."
854
01:15:07,442 --> 01:15:11,571
I hope you catch a cloud, Benjamin.
Not a feeling like it in the world.
855
01:15:12,030 --> 01:15:15,742
You're in a veil of white,
not a sound except your beating heart.
856
01:15:16,576 --> 01:15:18,204
It's godlike.
857
01:15:23,459 --> 01:15:26,546
You must be very special.
858
01:15:26,879 --> 01:15:29,008
The "Big T" is a
great judge of character.
859
01:15:29,258 --> 01:15:31,135
Stop gabbing and let this soldier...
860
01:15:31,385 --> 01:15:32,386
...get some chow.
861
01:15:32,636 --> 01:15:34,054
Goodbye, sir.
862
01:15:36,557 --> 01:15:39,686
I really appreciate
your confidence in me.
863
01:15:39,936 --> 01:15:41,813
I'm not going to let you down.
864
01:15:43,106 --> 01:15:45,817
See you at 13,000 feet, okay?
865
01:15:53,242 --> 01:15:55,161
Oy vey!
866
01:16:07,049 --> 01:16:09,052
Go with it!
Soar! You're a Thornbird!
867
01:16:11,304 --> 01:16:13,598
Come on, Benjamin,
let's go! All right?
868
01:16:18,896 --> 01:16:21,023
- You can do it! Trust me!
- I can't!
869
01:16:22,191 --> 01:16:24,401
I'm ashamed, but I'm afraid to die.
870
01:16:24,652 --> 01:16:27,946
- I'm afraid, Colonel. I'm not brave.
- Take it easy!
871
01:16:28,197 --> 01:16:29,491
I can't. I'm afraid...
872
01:16:29,741 --> 01:16:31,576
...my chute won't open.
873
01:16:31,826 --> 01:16:34,329
- Calm down, Benjamin!
- What if I fall upside down?
874
01:16:34,579 --> 01:16:37,916
- I could vomit in midair!
- Take it easy!
875
01:16:38,166 --> 01:16:42,088
I tried to be macho, but those guys
are better at being men than I am!
876
01:16:42,380 --> 01:16:44,382
Relax, Benjamin,
you don't have to jump!
877
01:16:44,966 --> 01:16:46,634
- I don't?
- No!
878
01:16:46,884 --> 01:16:49,053
Take it easy, girl! Shape up!
879
01:16:49,805 --> 01:16:51,139
You better?
880
01:16:51,598 --> 01:16:53,433
I feel better now.
881
01:16:53,684 --> 01:16:56,311
You don't have to jump.
882
01:16:56,687 --> 01:16:58,689
You're a good man.
883
01:16:58,981 --> 01:17:00,608
There are other ways you can serve.
884
01:17:07,115 --> 01:17:08,074
Happy, darling?
885
01:17:08,783 --> 01:17:10,869
- You want it!
- What are you doing?
886
01:17:11,120 --> 01:17:13,622
I can smell fear in any man
and passion in any woman!
887
01:17:13,872 --> 01:17:14,915
You want it!
888
01:17:16,834 --> 01:17:19,628
My God, this isn't happening to me!
889
01:17:20,797 --> 01:17:22,007
I'm going to take you.
890
01:17:22,340 --> 01:17:25,051
I'm not in the mood.
Suddenly I feel nauseous.
891
01:17:25,302 --> 01:17:26,970
Come to papa.
892
01:17:27,721 --> 01:17:30,849
I don't think so, sir,
but thanks anyway.
893
01:17:34,687 --> 01:17:37,189
My God! Open, please!
894
01:17:45,866 --> 01:17:47,034
At ease.
895
01:17:49,786 --> 01:17:51,706
I'm glad you're back in one piece.
896
01:17:53,249 --> 01:17:57,670
I apologize for yesterday's indiscretion.
An unforgivable breach of discipline.
897
01:17:58,379 --> 01:17:59,964
And taste, sir.
898
01:18:03,010 --> 01:18:05,387
I hope it hasn't soured you
on the military.
899
01:18:05,763 --> 01:18:08,515
The question is how long
you'll continue as a Thornbird.
900
01:18:08,766 --> 01:18:10,726
Hopefully not too long, sir.
901
01:18:12,854 --> 01:18:14,064
Understood.
902
01:18:14,314 --> 01:18:18,193
That's why I've put you on special
assignment, transferred to another post.
903
01:18:19,361 --> 01:18:21,655
A special assignment
on the ground, I hope.
904
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:24,492
- A job in procurement.
- Procurement?
905
01:18:24,742 --> 01:18:27,828
That's purchasing. I've cut
your orders, you leave at 1500.
906
01:18:29,955 --> 01:18:31,082
Greenland?
907
01:18:31,332 --> 01:18:33,293
What, penguins? Forget it!
908
01:18:34,044 --> 01:18:35,170
Forget it!
909
01:18:36,338 --> 01:18:39,383
I was in the first wave of the Rangers
at Normandy on D-day.
910
01:18:39,633 --> 01:18:44,138
In 1952 I was standing with my troops
on the banks of the Yalu River, waiting.
911
01:18:44,389 --> 01:18:46,683
MacArthur phoned.
"Come home, Thornie...
912
01:18:47,016 --> 01:18:49,310
...it's not our year."
I am a good leader.
913
01:18:49,560 --> 01:18:51,562
No, I am a great leader!
914
01:18:52,021 --> 01:18:54,400
Your ass is going to
Greenland for a reason.
915
01:18:54,650 --> 01:18:59,363
I won't let you shoot your mouth off,
blemishing my record with innuendo.
916
01:18:59,697 --> 01:19:01,448
Innuendo? Try rape.
917
01:19:04,452 --> 01:19:05,328
How about Guam?
918
01:19:06,371 --> 01:19:07,831
My hair will frizz.
919
01:19:09,165 --> 01:19:10,041
Okinawa?
920
01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:13,503
Malaria? Pass.
921
01:19:14,171 --> 01:19:16,549
We have bases all over the world.
922
01:19:47,666 --> 01:19:50,377
Dear Glass, hello from Belgium.
923
01:19:50,627 --> 01:19:54,340
Sorry it's taken me so long to write,
but I've been very busy.
924
01:19:54,590 --> 01:19:56,426
S.H.A.P.E. Is an amazing place.
925
01:19:56,718 --> 01:19:59,554
The top military headquarters
in Europe.
926
01:19:59,804 --> 01:20:02,849
Definitely the most exciting duty
a soldier could pull.
927
01:20:03,099 --> 01:20:05,478
My M. O. S. Is Purchasing Specialist...
928
01:20:05,728 --> 01:20:08,564
...the one job I've
trained for all my life.
929
01:20:09,398 --> 01:20:11,150
My superior is a terrific guy...
930
01:20:11,942 --> 01:20:14,737
...a Turkish officer
named Lieutenant Rahmi.
931
01:20:14,987 --> 01:20:19,117
But the best one can say of his English
is that it's better than my Turkish.
932
01:20:20,077 --> 01:20:21,703
Benyameen, ka'.
933
01:20:23,038 --> 01:20:24,164
Sate.
934
01:20:25,624 --> 01:20:29,671
Benyameen, I need the inpoormation
on the drying caruses.
935
01:20:30,088 --> 01:20:31,089
Driving courses?
936
01:20:31,339 --> 01:20:33,549
Yes, sir. I'm working on that now.
937
01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:37,721
Excellent. I want you
to rye-eed it to the counsule.
938
01:20:38,555 --> 01:20:40,474
Me? Read it to the council?
939
01:20:40,933 --> 01:20:42,977
Do want me to rye-eed it?
940
01:20:46,773 --> 01:20:48,817
Private Benyameen... Benjamin!
941
01:20:49,067 --> 01:20:52,237
I got a charming apartment
through an ad in Stars and Stripes.
942
01:20:52,487 --> 01:20:55,949
It's right over a bakery,
has a hot plate, running water...
943
01:20:56,199 --> 01:20:58,160
...and all the croissants I can eat.
944
01:20:58,411 --> 01:21:01,163
It's not exactly Versailles,
but it's home.
945
01:21:01,414 --> 01:21:05,543
For the first time in months, I feel
that things are really going my way.
946
01:21:21,144 --> 01:21:23,980
I finally got the nerve
to pay Henri a surprise visit.
947
01:21:24,230 --> 01:21:28,110
I'll let you know how it turns out.
I hope he remembers me.
948
01:21:28,360 --> 01:21:32,740
My love to Moe and Gianelli.
Votre amie, Private B.
949
01:21:33,365 --> 01:21:36,535
Let's see... just got into town.
950
01:21:38,121 --> 01:21:42,000
And feeling kind of lonely.
No, don't say lonely.
951
01:21:42,250 --> 01:21:43,460
Oh, God!
952
01:22:09,906 --> 01:22:13,701
It's a great house, but don't be
impressed. It's a hand-me-down.
953
01:22:32,847 --> 01:22:34,474
- Morning.
- Nine o'clock?
954
01:22:34,724 --> 01:22:37,519
I haven't slept this late in 3 months.
955
01:22:43,067 --> 01:22:45,319
- Where are you going?
- Sunday soccer.
956
01:22:46,612 --> 01:22:47,989
Merde! I'm late.
957
01:22:48,280 --> 01:22:50,158
I have to go anyway.
958
01:22:50,450 --> 01:22:52,160
Don't be ridiculous, please!
959
01:22:52,411 --> 01:22:55,747
Stay. I want you to be here when
I get back at three o'clock.
960
01:22:55,998 --> 01:23:00,461
I'm going to make love to you,
and I'll take you to my favorite bistro.
961
01:23:01,254 --> 01:23:03,923
And we'll listen to
some nice Italian jazz.
962
01:23:05,299 --> 01:23:06,217
Max!
963
01:23:16,645 --> 01:23:18,731
Hello, baby!
964
01:23:21,067 --> 01:23:22,736
He's beautiful.
965
01:23:22,986 --> 01:23:24,029
Sit!
966
01:23:28,992 --> 01:23:30,702
The dog is deaf.
967
01:23:37,293 --> 01:23:39,587
Wait for me, please.
968
01:23:44,634 --> 01:23:46,678
I could get used to you.
969
01:24:09,370 --> 01:24:12,247
I paid 8,000 francs for this rug.
970
01:24:13,291 --> 01:24:17,671
I'm sorry. He gets nervous
around new people.
971
01:24:17,921 --> 01:24:19,756
He's not the only one.
972
01:24:24,178 --> 01:24:27,264
- I have to clean this up.
- You go play. I'll clean up.
973
01:24:27,515 --> 01:24:30,017
No, I'll clean it.
Go play.
974
01:24:42,155 --> 01:24:43,449
I adore you.
975
01:24:50,957 --> 01:24:55,713
There are two bids we recommend:
Sergio Devoto's Driving Academy...
976
01:24:56,046 --> 01:24:58,757
...which teaches evasive driving
to the chauffeurs...
977
01:24:59,008 --> 01:25:02,344
...of such dignitaries as
General Alexander Haig...
978
01:25:02,594 --> 01:25:06,307
...President Giscard d'Estaing,
Mick Jagger...
979
01:25:06,599 --> 01:25:08,935
Excuse me, Private Benjamin...
980
01:25:09,185 --> 01:25:12,313
...I'm afraid I missed
the security data on these drivers.
981
01:25:12,564 --> 01:25:15,151
The security data was
unavailable to me, sir.
982
01:25:15,818 --> 01:25:18,279
Who's here from security?
983
01:25:20,114 --> 01:25:20,990
I am, sir.
984
01:25:24,786 --> 01:25:27,456
That material is highly classified, sir.
985
01:25:27,706 --> 01:25:31,168
I am certain this soldier
is not cleared for that level.
986
01:25:31,418 --> 01:25:33,503
Then clear her, Captain.
987
01:25:35,173 --> 01:25:36,132
Is there a problem?
988
01:25:39,302 --> 01:25:40,219
No, sir.
989
01:25:40,470 --> 01:25:43,639
Then we'll expect a revised report
by the next council session.
990
01:25:43,890 --> 01:25:44,932
Gentlemen...
991
01:25:45,267 --> 01:25:46,310
...chow time.
992
01:25:50,773 --> 01:25:51,815
Good job.
993
01:26:11,671 --> 01:26:13,464
Behave yourself, Judy Benjamin...
994
01:26:13,714 --> 01:26:18,387
...or I'll drum your ass out of S.H.A.P.E.
So fast it'll make your head spin.
995
01:26:25,894 --> 01:26:27,522
Sorry, Helga.
996
01:26:27,814 --> 01:26:29,732
Who is your friend, Doreen?
997
01:26:29,982 --> 01:26:32,318
She's no fwiend... friend.
998
01:26:33,111 --> 01:26:35,321
Listen, the bags are packed.
999
01:26:40,619 --> 01:26:42,746
My ex-girlfriend, Claire, painted it.
1000
01:26:42,996 --> 01:26:46,792
- What's it supposed to be, death?
- No, it's a self-portrait.
1001
01:26:47,669 --> 01:26:49,754
How long ago did you and this...
1002
01:26:50,630 --> 01:26:52,424
...painter break up?
1003
01:26:53,216 --> 01:26:57,471
- 14 weeks ago, Monday.
- You're still counting it in weeks?
1004
01:26:59,306 --> 01:27:03,227
How come you broke up?
Or is that too personal?
1005
01:27:04,937 --> 01:27:06,564
Claire is a brilliant woman.
1006
01:27:06,814 --> 01:27:11,153
I even joined the Communist Party
for her for a week.
1007
01:27:11,820 --> 01:27:15,615
Not romantic though,
much too independent.
1008
01:27:19,454 --> 01:27:21,664
Do you know a lot of tortured artists?
1009
01:27:22,248 --> 01:27:24,542
Only tortured lawyers.
1010
01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:28,297
Your first husband was a lawyer?
1011
01:27:28,547 --> 01:27:31,967
No, Rick was a tennis pro
at the El San Juan.
1012
01:27:32,468 --> 01:27:36,305
My therapist said that I had
a neurotic need to find a father figure.
1013
01:27:36,555 --> 01:27:40,477
And he had a neurotic need to find
a father-in-law who had a lot of money.
1014
01:27:50,112 --> 01:27:54,992
You know, I've been married to men
I haven't felt this comfortable with.
1015
01:29:08,698 --> 01:29:12,244
What's the story with you
and this Tremont character?
1016
01:29:13,120 --> 01:29:14,913
Why are you spying on me?
1017
01:29:28,178 --> 01:29:31,932
- Your lover-boy's a Red!
- Don't be ridiculous!
1018
01:29:32,183 --> 01:29:35,144
He was a Red for about five seconds.
1019
01:29:35,394 --> 01:29:37,271
Because of a woman he used to date.
1020
01:29:37,730 --> 01:29:41,776
Nobody stops being a Communist.
It's a terminal disease.
1021
01:29:42,027 --> 01:29:45,822
And I am not going to sit around
with my thumb up my ass...
1022
01:29:46,073 --> 01:29:48,575
...while you divulge
classified information...
1023
01:29:48,825 --> 01:29:51,078
...during the throes of passion.
1024
01:29:51,328 --> 01:29:54,582
Please! I can barely speak
during the throes of passion.
1025
01:29:54,999 --> 01:29:58,336
Believe me, Henri Tremont is
as much a Communist as me.
1026
01:29:58,711 --> 01:29:59,837
Or you!
1027
01:30:01,422 --> 01:30:04,718
If Patton were alive,
he would slap your face.
1028
01:30:08,097 --> 01:30:09,348
As you were.
1029
01:30:13,937 --> 01:30:15,313
Captain Lewis.
1030
01:30:17,440 --> 01:30:21,111
Private Benjamin has made herself
vulnerable to a Red, sir.
1031
01:30:21,361 --> 01:30:22,570
I read the report.
1032
01:30:22,821 --> 01:30:23,823
It's not true, sir.
1033
01:30:24,073 --> 01:30:28,536
We're not blind to the fact
that half of Europe is Communistic.
1034
01:30:29,704 --> 01:30:32,039
But here at S.H.A.P.E.
They're still the enemy.
1035
01:30:32,748 --> 01:30:34,376
General Foley, Henri Tremont...
1036
01:30:34,626 --> 01:30:38,046
...is not a Communist.
He's a gynecologist.
1037
01:30:39,089 --> 01:30:41,425
Captain Lewis is hung up
on a technicality.
1038
01:30:41,758 --> 01:30:46,055
I'm sorry, but it's against regulations
for you to associate with this man.
1039
01:30:47,056 --> 01:30:49,434
You're up for a promotion.
1040
01:30:49,684 --> 01:30:52,979
I'd hate to see this incident
jeopardize your career.
1041
01:30:54,189 --> 01:30:56,233
What are you trying to tell me, sir?
1042
01:30:57,860 --> 01:30:59,570
It's either him...
1043
01:30:59,862 --> 01:31:00,904
...or us.
1044
01:31:26,224 --> 01:31:28,351
- Can't you hear?
- Can't you move?
1045
01:31:34,858 --> 01:31:36,319
It's Judy.
1046
01:31:36,569 --> 01:31:37,570
Judy who?
1047
01:31:38,446 --> 01:31:40,782
Darling, how are you?
1048
01:31:42,116 --> 01:31:42,992
What?
1049
01:31:49,541 --> 01:31:51,168
She's getting married.
1050
01:32:07,353 --> 01:32:10,648
Monsieur Shiffman!
Thank God!
1051
01:32:16,112 --> 01:32:18,698
Listen, the tablecloths...
1052
01:32:23,078 --> 01:32:27,125
...they're terrible.
The color, la couleur, is all wrong.
1053
01:32:30,545 --> 01:32:33,756
The wedding is in yellow...
1054
01:32:34,340 --> 01:32:36,634
...and butterscotch.
1055
01:32:37,761 --> 01:32:40,723
And right now I'm looking at
something entre...
1056
01:32:40,973 --> 01:32:43,684
...canari et banane.
1057
01:32:44,101 --> 01:32:45,018
Gabby!
1058
01:32:47,439 --> 01:32:48,648
Pardon, Madame!
1059
01:32:49,733 --> 01:32:52,277
I get the Hoover.
1060
01:32:57,449 --> 01:33:00,161
Was she a good maid
before she met me?
1061
01:33:02,204 --> 01:33:05,249
Is it smart to fire the maid
just before the wedding?
1062
01:33:05,708 --> 01:33:07,836
Especially with your parents coming.
1063
01:33:08,211 --> 01:33:11,715
Okay, she stays until after the wedding.
1064
01:33:14,092 --> 01:33:16,136
You look very beautiful today.
1065
01:33:17,220 --> 01:33:18,598
So do you.
1066
01:33:19,348 --> 01:33:21,601
What did your friends say
when they called?
1067
01:33:21,851 --> 01:33:24,687
They're coming over on
Army Transport next week.
1068
01:33:24,937 --> 01:33:27,857
I can't wait to see them.
It's going to be so much fun.
1069
01:33:28,107 --> 01:33:30,486
And Glass is learning French!
1070
01:33:39,746 --> 01:33:41,664
Honey, who was that?
1071
01:33:43,333 --> 01:33:45,251
It was Claire.
1072
01:33:48,963 --> 01:33:50,257
Claire?
1073
01:34:02,938 --> 01:34:05,065
Get over this obsession with Claire.
1074
01:34:05,399 --> 01:34:07,526
You stood with your tongue hanging out.
1075
01:34:07,859 --> 01:34:09,654
I was surprised to see her.
1076
01:34:09,904 --> 01:34:13,116
Surprised?
I'd call it catatonic.
1077
01:34:13,366 --> 01:34:17,120
You don't see me getting hung up on your
old boyfriends and husbands.
1078
01:34:17,370 --> 01:34:18,788
Do you?
1079
01:34:20,624 --> 01:34:22,084
Listen to me.
1080
01:34:22,376 --> 01:34:23,460
Come here.
1081
01:34:25,754 --> 01:34:26,672
I love you.
1082
01:34:27,297 --> 01:34:29,383
We're getting married in a week.
1083
01:34:37,183 --> 01:34:38,852
I want to have a baby with you.
1084
01:34:41,605 --> 01:34:42,732
You do?
1085
01:34:44,442 --> 01:34:46,193
Oh, honey!
1086
01:34:47,445 --> 01:34:49,071
I'd love to have a baby.
1087
01:34:50,573 --> 01:34:52,284
I thought I was getting too old.
1088
01:34:56,455 --> 01:34:58,165
A baby!
1089
01:35:01,586 --> 01:35:04,589
- I want us to be together always.
- We will!
1090
01:35:11,137 --> 01:35:13,182
It's the reality of things sometimes...
1091
01:35:13,432 --> 01:35:17,311
...they don't always work out
exactly as they are planned, so...
1092
01:35:18,604 --> 01:35:20,189
What are you saying?
1093
01:35:23,109 --> 01:35:25,278
- I want you to sign this.
- What is it?
1094
01:35:25,528 --> 01:35:27,489
Contrat de mariage.
1095
01:35:28,490 --> 01:35:31,242
A letter of financial agreement.
1096
01:35:31,910 --> 01:35:36,373
God forbid something should happen
to us. It just helps us stay friends.
1097
01:35:38,125 --> 01:35:40,586
I want to be your wife, not your friend.
1098
01:35:40,878 --> 01:35:44,841
It's fair. I allocated for myself
what was mine before our marriage.
1099
01:35:45,425 --> 01:35:47,594
You cannot expect me to give you...
1100
01:35:47,844 --> 01:35:51,848
...half of a house that's been
in my family for centuries.
1101
01:35:55,728 --> 01:35:59,148
We don't need this kind of thing
between us. We'll make it.
1102
01:36:00,108 --> 01:36:02,068
I can't get married without it.
1103
01:36:12,121 --> 01:36:14,040
It's in French.
1104
01:36:14,290 --> 01:36:15,750
Please.
1105
01:36:34,396 --> 01:36:36,565
Private Benjamin?
1106
01:36:36,815 --> 01:36:39,276
Did I write that? I'm sorry.
1107
01:36:39,526 --> 01:36:41,194
I'll just cross it out.
1108
01:36:46,451 --> 01:36:48,161
Initial it.
1109
01:37:02,468 --> 01:37:04,929
Where shall we go tonight?
Regine's?
1110
01:37:20,279 --> 01:37:23,908
Took Henri's car to the shop.
Made Henri's hair appointment.
1111
01:37:24,158 --> 01:37:26,036
Took Max to the vet.
1112
01:37:26,286 --> 01:37:28,747
Picked up Henri's soccer uniform.
1113
01:37:35,546 --> 01:37:38,925
You've got to remember that
I used to be a very active person.
1114
01:37:39,175 --> 01:37:41,427
I was jumping out of airplanes...
1115
01:37:41,677 --> 01:37:44,764
...and at S.H.A.P.E. It was
like nonstop chaos.
1116
01:37:45,014 --> 01:37:47,392
You're not thinking about
opening a store?
1117
01:37:47,643 --> 01:37:49,561
No, you were right about that.
1118
01:37:49,812 --> 01:37:53,357
It would've been too much
of a hassle to do. It was a bad idea.
1119
01:37:53,607 --> 01:37:57,320
But there have to be other choices.
1120
01:37:57,570 --> 01:37:59,989
Do you know what I did today?
1121
01:38:01,199 --> 01:38:03,284
I rearranged my closet.
1122
01:38:03,535 --> 01:38:04,953
For three hours.
1123
01:38:05,203 --> 01:38:08,499
There's definitely something wrong
with that, isn't there?
1124
01:38:10,543 --> 01:38:13,003
- Am I making sense?
- No.
1125
01:38:13,921 --> 01:38:15,756
And that's what I love about you.
1126
01:38:19,094 --> 01:38:21,555
This is the color of hair
I was talking about.
1127
01:38:23,223 --> 01:38:25,308
I don't know. Maybe.
1128
01:38:27,353 --> 01:38:28,729
I love it.
1129
01:38:56,551 --> 01:38:58,679
Rita Hayworth, I swear to God!
1130
01:38:58,929 --> 01:39:01,974
- I wouldn't have recognized you.
- You look stunning!
1131
01:39:02,224 --> 01:39:05,644
Turn around, let me see the outfit.
Oh God, doll! Gorgeous!
1132
01:39:05,895 --> 01:39:07,396
It's an absolute vision.
1133
01:39:07,646 --> 01:39:09,775
Her hair is the worst!
1134
01:39:10,025 --> 01:39:14,237
To see you looking like your
old self again, you have no idea!
1135
01:39:14,488 --> 01:39:16,364
Who knows what we'd do
in her place.
1136
01:39:17,491 --> 01:39:20,369
The important thing is,
Judy's Judy again.
1137
01:39:20,620 --> 01:39:25,208
- Truthfully, you don't miss the Army?
- What's to miss? $400 a month?
1138
01:39:25,458 --> 01:39:28,461
The only good thing about it
was that what's-her-name.
1139
01:39:28,711 --> 01:39:30,089
Captain Lewis?
1140
01:39:30,672 --> 01:39:33,967
I hope her coat's good enough.
I had no idea it'd be so chilly.
1141
01:39:34,218 --> 01:39:39,057
- It's November here, Kissy.
- It's November everywhere, genius!
1142
01:39:47,941 --> 01:39:49,150
Sit!
1143
01:39:50,778 --> 01:39:53,030
I was talking to Max.
1144
01:39:55,533 --> 01:39:57,618
It's good to see you up.
1145
01:39:58,911 --> 01:40:01,123
Excuse me for interrupting.
1146
01:40:02,207 --> 01:40:03,875
Does this belong to anyone?
1147
01:40:04,126 --> 01:40:06,878
Because I'm positive it isn't mine.
1148
01:40:07,129 --> 01:40:08,964
Oui, Madame.
Where did you find it?
1149
01:40:09,214 --> 01:40:10,800
Where you left eet!
1150
01:40:11,134 --> 01:40:13,970
May I ask what you were doing
in my bed?!
1151
01:40:14,220 --> 01:40:16,931
I was not in your bed, madame.
I make your bed.
1152
01:40:18,516 --> 01:40:20,059
It must have fallen.
1153
01:40:21,186 --> 01:40:22,146
What are you doing?
1154
01:40:22,396 --> 01:40:25,315
I would like to know how
this item got into my bed.
1155
01:40:29,778 --> 01:40:33,450
This is too much!
Judy, give Gabrielle back the cross.
1156
01:40:40,582 --> 01:40:43,085
What should I think?
She's the world's worst maid!
1157
01:40:43,335 --> 01:40:45,004
Enough! Please!
1158
01:40:48,716 --> 01:40:53,138
What's gotten into you lately? It's like
I live with the kid from the Exorcist!
1159
01:40:54,347 --> 01:40:56,808
Two weeks ago I was like a god to you!
1160
01:40:57,100 --> 01:40:58,727
Now you show me no respect.
1161
01:40:59,436 --> 01:41:00,979
I respect you.
1162
01:41:01,313 --> 01:41:05,818
Accusing me of sleeping with Gabrielle!
You think I'm so low I'd seduce a child?
1163
01:41:08,654 --> 01:41:09,614
Do you?
1164
01:41:14,870 --> 01:41:17,122
Honey, I'm nervous.
1165
01:41:17,873 --> 01:41:20,042
I'm very nervous.
1166
01:41:20,292 --> 01:41:24,547
And I know that once we get married
everything is going to be fine.
1167
01:41:24,798 --> 01:41:26,466
I'm sorry.
1168
01:41:35,768 --> 01:41:39,522
I fly 6,000 miles to attend
my daughter's wedding...
1169
01:41:39,772 --> 01:41:41,649
...and the groom is playing soccer!
1170
01:41:41,899 --> 01:41:45,153
Daddy, he'll be here any minute.
He probably went into overtime.
1171
01:41:45,487 --> 01:41:47,739
Monsieur, my son is very reliable.
1172
01:41:47,989 --> 01:41:50,867
- He will be here shortly.
- It just isn't right!
1173
01:41:56,124 --> 01:41:57,667
Jean-Paul!
1174
01:42:02,630 --> 01:42:04,091
Where is Henri?
1175
01:42:04,758 --> 01:42:07,719
The bum never showed up
for the game. Isn't he here?
1176
01:42:08,887 --> 01:42:10,013
No.
1177
01:42:10,347 --> 01:42:11,432
He never showed up?
1178
01:42:14,894 --> 01:42:18,273
Judy, don't hate me
for saying this or nothing...
1179
01:42:18,523 --> 01:42:22,861
...but you really might be better-off.
1180
01:42:23,111 --> 01:42:25,030
Don't be ridiculous!
1181
01:42:26,782 --> 01:42:31,454
I don't know how to say this, but you
were starting to act a bit weird again.
1182
01:42:31,704 --> 01:42:33,873
What am I going to do?
I'm a wreck.
1183
01:42:34,624 --> 01:42:36,001
He's back!
1184
01:42:40,881 --> 01:42:42,466
You look perfect.
1185
01:42:42,716 --> 01:42:44,342
- Where were you?
- I'm fine.
1186
01:42:44,594 --> 01:42:47,388
No, where were you?
I was so scared.
1187
01:42:47,638 --> 01:42:50,975
- You don't want to know this.
- I do want to know.
1188
01:42:53,603 --> 01:42:55,481
I had to see Claire.
1189
01:42:58,233 --> 01:42:59,234
You were with Claire?
1190
01:42:59,485 --> 01:43:03,238
She is in so much trouble.
You've no idea what I've been through.
1191
01:43:03,489 --> 01:43:07,410
There are 75 people waiting for you.
Couldn't you have phoned?
1192
01:43:07,660 --> 01:43:11,289
- Don't bad French artists have phones?
- She was overwrought.
1193
01:43:11,623 --> 01:43:15,669
Her boyfriend beat her up.
I prescribed a sedative for her to sleep.
1194
01:43:15,920 --> 01:43:18,464
That takes 2 minutes,
you were gone 4 hours.
1195
01:43:18,714 --> 01:43:21,342
The place was a mess.
I hung up clothes and did dishes.
1196
01:43:21,592 --> 01:43:23,803
You did Claire's dishes?
1197
01:43:25,680 --> 01:43:28,475
Shall I stop being nice to people
because we're marrying?
1198
01:43:29,017 --> 01:43:32,312
I just don't understand
how you could be with Claire...
1199
01:43:32,771 --> 01:43:33,647
...today.
1200
01:43:33,897 --> 01:43:36,484
You want to walk down the aisle
with me or not?
1201
01:45:14,800 --> 01:45:17,219
Not so fast.
1202
01:45:19,514 --> 01:45:23,434
I know this is a very
awkward time to do this...
1203
01:45:24,644 --> 01:45:25,978
...but I want to break up.
1204
01:45:26,270 --> 01:45:28,022
She's crazy again.
1205
01:45:28,773 --> 01:45:29,983
Listen to me.
1206
01:45:30,275 --> 01:45:34,988
You're having an anxiety attack.
I'll give you a shot to calm down.
1207
01:45:35,239 --> 01:45:38,367
No, I want to be perfectly conscious
when I call a cab.
1208
01:45:38,617 --> 01:45:42,163
What are you doing to me?
What is this about? Gabrielle?
1209
01:45:42,872 --> 01:45:45,583
I slept with her one night
when you were acting crazy.
1210
01:45:46,918 --> 01:45:49,379
We'll fire her after the wedding.
1211
01:45:52,925 --> 01:45:54,343
You're such a schmuck!
1212
01:45:56,720 --> 01:45:57,596
Daddy...
1213
01:45:57,847 --> 01:46:00,100
...Mom just fainted.
1214
01:46:01,518 --> 01:46:02,894
Schmuck?!
1215
01:46:04,020 --> 01:46:06,481
When I met you,
you were in the Army.
1216
01:46:06,857 --> 01:46:09,276
You were nothing,
picking up strangers in bars!
1217
01:46:09,526 --> 01:46:11,696
- Now just a minute!
- She was.
1218
01:46:12,196 --> 01:46:15,825
I'll give you a future, a home, a name.
For once don't be stupid!
1219
01:46:17,201 --> 01:46:18,619
- There's Claire.
- Where?
1220
01:46:25,711 --> 01:46:26,795
Don't call me stupid.
90528
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