All language subtitles for Little.Big.League.1994.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.

Play ball!

No outs!

Nobody out!

Stay alive
out there

and be alert.

Any ground ball,
we're going to run, ok?

Any ball on the ground,
we're going to run it.

BOY: Come on, guys.
Keep your head up out there.

Come on, Billy. Knock it
out of the park.

Mom, I'm not
even up yet.

Way to go, Larry!

Everyone's out.

Are you nuts?

They're all safe.

What?

Yeah. They're
all on the base,

so they're
all safe.

Let's play ball.

Give me a break.

Come on, ump.
What's the call?

The call?
Uh...Billy?

Well, actually,

the base goes
to the lead runner,

so Sam's safe.

Larry and Tommy
are out.

Are you sure?

Yeah. The same thing
happened

to the Brooklyn Dodgers
back in 1926.

The batter
was Babe Herman.

They awarded the base
to Dazzy Vance.

Ok. You two,
take a seat.

Let's play ball!

They're all safe.

Hey, I took a shot.

What happened?

Billy told them.
Lead runner gets the bag.

So Billy's up now?

Yeah.

Come on, Billy.

Knock it
out of the park.

You heard
your mom, Billy.

Park one.
Take him downtown.

Cut it out, Chuck.

You know he's not
going to hit a homer.

Every time he tries,
he swings too hard and misses.

Oh, yeah.

Forget the homer.

Just try to get hit
by the pitch.

MAN: Good game, Artie.

I should have
worked the count.

I can't believe I swung
at the first pitch.

I can't believe you
actually hit the ball.

Your eyes were closed.

My eyes
weren't closed.

Yeah, right.
You wish.

Nice going, fellas.

Thought you
had 'em there.

Hi, Grandpa.
Hi, Mom.

You guys
were terrific.

It would have been
more terrific if we won.

I was thinking if you guys
weren't too depressed,

we could go get
some ice cream.

Shotgun!

You had it
on the way!

I think they
got over the loss.

You know,
it's so weird.

Your grandfather's, like,
the richest man in the world,

and nobody here
even knows.

They all just think
he's a normal person.

He is.

You think he's richer
than Mr. Howell?

Who?

Thurston Howell...

the third.

You know, the guy
from Gilligan's Island.

I don't know.
Maybe.

What do you mean,
"maybe"?

He's got to be.

Billy, your grandfather
owns the Minnesota Twins.

There's no way Mr. Howell
has that much money.

Why not?
He could.

Think about it.

If Mr. Howell
was all that rich,

what was he doing taking
a cruise on the S.S. Minnow?

Now, remember, guys,

eat as many of these
as you possibly can

for the next 15 years

because after that...

you can't eat anything
that tastes good

for the rest
of your life.

Thanks, Mr. H.

Yeah. Good tip.

That's a wonderful tip.

Say, you fellas
want to go

to the ball game
with us tonight?

I can't. I've got to
go to my grandma's.

I'm grounded.

Hey, you're not
making up excuses

because the Twins
are losing?

You're not
front

No way.

I'd rather see
the worst team ever

than go
to my grandma's.

Ok.

It's only May.
A lot can happen.

Mr. Heywood, are you
as rich as Jed Clampett?

Chuck!

I piss on Jed Clampett.
Ha ha ha!

Man, do we ever
get you out?

You're killing us.

Boy, it was
a great move

signing Lou
to that multiyear deal.

You think so, huh?

Yeah.

I just wish O'Farrell
would use him better.

I mean, he hits him
behind Lonnie,

and nobody's protecting him
in the order.

Another George O'Farrell
fan, huh?

Now don't start
that again, Arthur.

You're my general manager.

You're supposed
to back me.

You may not like
his personality--

I know, I know.

He's a good
baseball man.

That's right.

Arthur, I am convinced
we have the talent to win.

Something's been missing,

but I haven't been able
to put my finger on it.

I'm hoping a little jolt
from a guy like O'Farrell

might make the difference.

Well, you could be right

if no one gives him
a little jolt first.

Hey, you got it
all wrong, Mac.

I don't have to
answer to you!

I'm the manager
of this ball club.

You don't like the way
I treat the pitchers,

feel free to take a walk!

Fine!
Fine!

Fine!
Fine!

Joe, call my wife,
will you?

Tell her I'm
going to be late.

I'm going for a walk.

A long walk!

Yeah?

Well, go ahead.
Who cares?

Hey, Mac. There are
plenty of pitching coaches

around this league,
plenty of them,

and guess what.

Some of them actually
fit in their uniform,

you fat slob!

Ha ha ha!

Oh, you think
that's funny, Scales?

Well, let me tell you
what I think is funny--

the thing that
you call a swing!

Now you better
start hitting, kid,

or you're going
right back down to AAA,

you got that?

And that goes for
the rest of you clowns

that call yourself
a goddamn baseball team!

You're going to
kill me, Hamilton.

You're going to kill me!

What do you think?

I got to give it a 6.

That door slam
was kind of weak.

I'm telling you, she's
never going to go for it.

Don't worry about it.

I'll handle your mother.
Hi, Jack.

Just leave it
to me, ok? Jim.

Hey, Mr. H.

Say, you looked
good out there.

Hey, Billy.

Hey, Lou.

I've been reading
my sun-tzu--

"destroy thy enemy."

Attaboy.

Hey. Was Coney tough
tonight, or what?

You hit him hard.

I don't know. He made me
look pretty bad

on that "k"
in the ninth.

Oh, come on.
Who would have thought

Cone was going to
throw a 3-2 change-up

with bases loaded?

Well, I'll bet
you did.

You did,
didn't you?

You knew it.

So how are
you doing?

You staying
out of trouble?

Yeah, sure.

Good. Don't let me
hear any different.

How's your mom?

She's good.

All right. Say hi
for me, will you?

All right.

MAN: Hey, is that Billy?

Hey, Jerry.

What's up, man?
How'd you do today?

Oh, not so great.

I grounded out
to end the game.

Did you do
what I told you?

You get your
weight back

and your shoulder in?

Yeah, I did everything.

I still can't hit.

I don't know.
I think the problem

is I'm a spazmo.

Ha ha. Come one.
It just takes practice.

If you work on it some
more, you'll get it.

You know, a game
like tonight

really puts me
in a bad mood.

I guess I'll just have
to take it out on you.

Take your best shot.

All right.

1951, the Dodgers
and Giants,

Ralph Branca
on the mound.

Give me a break.

Bobby Thompson hit
a home run.

The Giants won
the pennant.

Yes, he did, but my
question to you is,

who was on deck?

Who was on deck?

That's the question.

Jeez, I have
no idea.

A young man by the name
of Willie Mays.

No way.

Way.

Ok, Grandpa,

here's an easy one.

Who was the first
black player

to play
in the major leagues?

You'd like me to say
Jackie Robinson,

but I'm not going to.

Fleet Walker, Toledo.

I believe it was 1884.

You are
in a bad mood.

Hi, guys.

Have fun?

We lost,
but we still had fun.

That's good.

Hey, how about
getting ready for bed?

Ok. Thanks, Grandpa.

Any time, buddy.

Good night, sweetie.

Oh, Lou says hi.

Awful nice young fellow,
that Lou.

Thomas.

Look, Jenny, I know
you loved my son,

but I think it
would be good for Billy

to have a man
around the house,

and I'm sure
you could think

of a couple of things

to do with one yourself.

Thomas!

Ha! See you tomorrow.

Good night.

Hey, I almost forgot.

I wanted to ask you
if it was ok for Billy

to go to the game
on Tuesday.

Oh, no, you don't.

It's Boston.
Roger Clemens is pitching.

Not on a school night.

It's Roger Clemens,

the greatest strikeout pitcher
in the game today,

and Billy has
never seen him live.

I can't help that.

Jenny...

when I was Billy's age,

I had a chance to see
Walter Johnson pitch.

"The big train,"
they called him.

But I didn't go,

and for me,

he was the greatest pitcher
that ever lived,

and I never saw him play.

And, you know,
when you get to be my age,

you realize

you only get
one shot at this thing,

and it doesn't last forever.

So if you get the chance
to see something really special,

you don't pass it up.

Well, if you're going
to resort to wisdom,

I guess I don't
have much choice.

Tell you what.

Billy has a science
project due Tuesday.

If he gets it done,
he can go.

But don't bet on it.

He's not exactly

the world's most
diligent student.

I have faith in him.

"The rocket" Roger Clemens.

I can't believe
you pulled this one off.

What do you mean?

I got my science
project done, didn't I?

That was the deal.

Of course
you got it done.

This is the same volcano

you turned in last year
to Mrs. Dewgar.

This is way
different.

Last year
was Mount Vesuvius.

This is
Mount St. Helens.

Look. I added
all these trees.

Oh, yeah. I didn't
even notice that.

Is that a Spruce?

Gentlemen, I'd love
to stay and chat,

but "the rocket"
calls.

MAN: Heywood!

Oh, man.

Hi, Mr. Patterson.

Young man, this is the third
time I've had to warn you

about running in the halls.

Perhaps a little time
in my office

might slow you down.

I'm sorry, Mr. Patterson.

It won't happen again.

Well, see that
it doesn't.

Thanks. It won't.

Mom, I'm home.

Listen, you don't have
to make me any dinner.

I'm going to grab a couple
of dogs at the game.

Mom, what did you do
with my mitt?

It's not in my closet.

Mom?

Billy...

it's Grandpa.

LOU: Even though
he was an owner,

you never felt like
he owned you.

He listened to you,

respected you,

found the good in you,

which wasn't always easy
with this bunch.

He signed me out of
high school when I was 17.

Ever since then,
he's been my boss,

but through all the years,

I've only thought
of him one way.

Thomas Heywood
was my friend.

The world just lost
a real good guy.

Now, Jennifer,
as you may know,

after your husband
Thomas Jr. passed on,

your father-in-law
taped a personal message

as an adjunct to his will.

MARV ALBERT: Rivers down low
on the hop to Ewing.

Turn-around. Yes!

Patrick Ewing on fire!

It's coming up.

He taped over
an old basketball game.

And this a critical
sequence for the chi--

Jenny, Billy, hi.

Well...

if you're watching
this tape,

I guess I'm dead.

I'm sorry.

But still, I had a pretty
good run though, huh?

Anyway...

the reason I made
this tape is,

there is one bequest I wanted
to tell you about myself.

Billy...

you're my best friend
in the world...

and I want you to have
my very favorite thing--

the Minnesota Twins.

Now, it's possible that you
may still be a little young,

but if that's the case,

Arthur and the other people
in the organization can run

the day-to-day business for you.

Remember, Billy,
I'm doing this

because I have faith in you.

You love baseball, and you
know more about the game

than anyone I've ever known.

So I don't care how young
you may be, Billy.

I trust you.

Take care of your mom.
She's the best.

Isn't that
wonderful?

Your grandfather
gave you the Twins.

I'd rather have
my grandfather.

So, you mean you own
the team and the stadium?

Uh-huh.

That's unbelievable.

Can I borrow 5 bucks?

I don't have
5 bucks.

You're, like,
Billy Heywood?

Yeah.

Well, could I, like,
have your autograph?

You want my autograph?

Could you, like,
make it out to Shelly?

Sure.

I can't believe it.
Thanks.

Wow. Shelly Hogeboom.

What a babe.

Joey: Man, when
my grandfather died,

all I got
was his sweater.

This is awesome.

We should play our
little-league games here.

Yeah. Great idea.

I'm sure we'd
fill the place.

Hey, get on first.

Let's see if I can make
the throw from third.

Lou Collins, normally
a first baseman,

playing third today.

Makes a great stop.

The throw to first,
and...

Good arm, Lou.

MAN: Hey, what
are you kids doing?

Get over here.

How did you kids
get in here, anyway?

I'm Billy Heywood.

Is that supposed to
mean something to me?

Um, I have an appointment
to see Mr. Goslin.

You got any I.D.?

Roberts! Roberts!

Oh, gee. See
what you done.

You done got me
in trouble.

Come on, kids.
Get out of here.

No, no.
No, no, no, no.

This is Billy Heywood.
He owns the ball club.

I got to get back on
that Stairmaster.

Gee, I'm sorry,
Mr. Heywood.

This is just my first
week on the job.

I didn't know.

That's all right.

Listen, my friends
are going to hang out here

and throw the ball around
if that's ok.

Sure thing,
Mr. Heywood.

You got it.

I'll make sure
no one bothers them.

How great is this?

Hey, get behind
home plate.

All right!

All right.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, that's good.
What is that, a change

Yeah, you wish you had
a hook like that.

Hey, Blackout.
Blackout, come here.

What's up, skip?

Let me explain
something to you.

I didn't trade for you
for your curve ball.

I don't like your curve ball.

As a matter of fact,
I hate your curve ball.

You want to know why?

Why?

Because the damn thing
don't curve!

Now, I'll make this
real simple for you.

When the guy
behind the plate

puts one finger down,

you throw the ball
as hard as you can.

Understood,
Cementhead?

What the hell
are you looking at?

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

Lou: Taking infield.

Well, then,
let's do it, ok?

Let's do it.

Hi.

I'm Billy Heywood.

I think you have
a great curve ball.

You're just dropping down
a little on the release.

PLAYER: Whoo!

Mr. O'Farrell?

You know, I was thinking,

you really scream
at these guys a lot,

you know, and maybe
it's not such a good thing.

You think I yell
too much, huh?

Yeah.

It's like in school.

I could do good
in math,

except Mr. Smith's
always yelling.

When he yells,
I get nervous.

I've lost total confidence
in my long division.

Long division.

Let me tell you
something, kid.

Your grandfather
hired me

to rattle the cages
of these animals,

and that's exactly
what I'm going to do.

You got it

Yeah. Except
it's not working.

So couldn't you
just stop, please?

Yeah. Sure, kid.

Hamilton!

Hamilton, what
are you doing?

You're killing me
here!

You're killing me.

Hi.

Hi.

I was just, uh--

Stretching?

Yeah.

Anyway, I just came by
to pick up the boys.

You haven't seen
them, have you?

I think they went
in the clubhouse

to raid
the t-shirt bin.

Aha!

Thanks.

Sure.

See you.

Ok.

Jenny.

Does Billy have
a birthday coming up?

Yeah. The 22nd.
How did you know?

I was invited.

To Valleyfair?

So are you
going to be there?

You think I'd miss my chance
to ride the thundering frog?

So do you mind
if I come along?

You know, it
wouldn't look good,

me snubbing an invite
to the boss' big party.

I think you're right.

That wouldn't
look good at all.

So what do you
want to do tonight?

You want to go
to the mall?

Nah. I've got
too much homework.

Homework?
You own the Twins.

Yeah.

If I owned the Twins,

I wouldn't even
show up here.

I'd just hire
a bunch of scientists

to do my homework.

I mean,
if you're rich,

you don't have
to be smart.

That's the whole beauty
of this country.

Heywood!

Mr. Patterson,
I wasn't running.

I was barely walking.

Into my office, please.

It's for you.

Hello?

Billy, big news.

The commissioner's office
just declared

Rickey Henderson
a free agent.

Rickey Henderson? Wow.

Yeah. Here's
the best part.

His people
contacted us.

I think we got
a shot at him.

That's great.

What

Is it a trade?
Big trade, or what?

I'm sorry, Mr. Patterson.

It's confidential.

I'm sure you understand.

So here it is.

Rickey wants
a 3-year deal,

18 million,
a house,

a golf membership
at Fair Oaks, a dog,

and a Ferrari
Testarossa.

He wants a dog?

I don't know.

An Albino
Russian Wolfhound.

It's what he wants.

You got to
give it to him.

It's Rickey
Henderson.

Yeah, you got to.

Give him two dogs.

O'Farrell thinks
he's a bad influence.

Says if we try
and sign him, he'll quit.

Who cares?
O'Farrell's a jerk.

Yeah, but still.

He's a great ballplayer.

I don't want him.

I had trouble
with him

when I was third-base
coach with the Yankees.

You had trouble
with everybody

when you were third-base coach
for the Yankees.

I don't want him.

Mr. O'Farrell,

with all due respect,

you're acting like
a first grader.

All right. Now look.

I've had it up to here
with this crap.

If you want to
play around

in the owner's box with
your little buddies,

that's fine with me,

but you stay
out of my office,

out of my clubhouse,
and off of my field,

do you got it?

Yes, sir.

Good. Now why
don't you go home

and build yourself
a fort or something?

I think I got
a better idea.

BILLY: It's really weird.
I never fired anyone before.

Funny thing is,
didn't even matter.

Henderson re-signed.

So who you going to get
to replace O'Farrell?

I don't know.

Whitey Herzog
turned us down.

Same with Valentine.

None of the good guys
want to work for a kid.

You should do it.

Yeah, right. Get real.

No, you get real.
You'd be great.

Do you know how hard
it is to manage?

It's the American League.
They got the D.H.

How hard could it be?

Yeah. Think of it.

You could lead the Twins
to the pennant.

Manager of the year.

Billy, serious, man.

The Twins need you.

Me?

Pardon?

Me.

My choice is me.

Billy...

we'd be the laughingstock
of baseball.

Not if we win.

Come on, son.
Be serious.

I am serious.

You'd help me,
wouldn't you, Mac?

Well, Billy,
it's not that easy.

There's a lot
to this game.

A lot.

It's all situations.

Situations and tendencies.

And the more
you've seen,

the more you know
what to do.

Ok. Try me.

What?

Make up a situation.
Try me.

All right.

We're playing the Yankees,
no one out.

Scales is on first--
great speed.

Lou's up.
Two and one count.

Abbott's on
the mound. Lefty.

Lonnie's on deck,

and remember,
he's a switch-hitter.

What do you do?

What's the score?

Tie game.

What inning?
Home or away?

Eighth. Home.

Who's catching?

Who's rested
in the bullpen?

Who's up in the ninth
for the Yanks?

Stanley, everyone,
7, 8, 9.

Ok.

I let Lou
hit away.

With Mattingly
holding Scales,

he's got that big
hole to hit to.

No. See. That's what
I'm talking about.

You got lefty
against lefty.

Lou's a good bunter.

You only need one run,
so you sacrifice

the go-ahead run
to second with only one out.

No. You sacrifice
him to second,

they walk Lonnie
and bring in Steve Farr

to pitch to Spencer.

So you've
taken the bat

out of our
two best hitters,

our 3 and 4 men,
and we've got Spencer,

a righty
with no speed,

against Farr
and his palm ball,

which means...

Double play.

You could pinch-hit
for Spencer.

Now you've
taken the bat

out of our
3, 4, and 5 hitters.

Not exactly
a great trip

through the heart
of our order.

Any questions, Mac?

Yeah. What's he
need me for?

Now look, Commissioner,
the kid is for real.

I mean, he knows
this team inside and out.

Yeah. I--

I understand that, but Mac will
stay on as pitching coach and--

Tell him about
the attendance.

And to tell you
the truth, sir,

we could really use
the publicity.

I mean, it's only June,

and people are already
talking about gopher football.

His mother?

Uh, yes, sir.

His mother said it's ok with her
if it's ok with you.

Are you sure the
commissioner approved this?

Yeah. He said it was ok with him
if it was ok with you.

I don't know. The more
I think about this--

Mom, come on.

You said you
wanted me to do

something constructive
this summer.

You said,
"Jimmy Brackman has a job.

Why can't you
get a job?"

Jimmy Brackman
is a paperboy.

Oh. So you just don't
want me to get a good job.

What about your friends?

It was their idea
to begin with.

They'd kill
for this chance.

Mom, trust me.
Grandpa did.

Give me your gum.

First of all,
I'd just like to say

this is really cool.

Hall of Famer Bob Lemon
once said,

"Baseball was made
for kids.

"Grownups only
screw it up."

With this in mind,

I would like to announce
that I have named myself

the new manager
of the Minnesota Twins,

effective as of
tomorrow night,

at which time,
my commitment

to Theodore Jeffries
Elementary School

will be complete.

Any questions?

How the hell do they expect
us to play for a kid?

How's the boy going
to know any strategy?

What do you care?

You never throw
to the right base, anyway.

Bite me.

Hey. There's no way
a kid can do this.

No way.

Tell me about it.

And I thought going
2-for-August in '91

was the low point
in my career.

This is going
to be a nightmare.

SCALES:
I don't know, man.

Kids today
are amazing.

I played winter ball
down in Venezuela.

They had kids
half his age,

every one of them
speaking Spanish.

That's a hard
language.

They speak Spanish
in Venezuela.

I know.
That's my point.

What are you
going to do, Lou?

Pretty much
what I always do.

If I'm in the
lineup, I'll play.

If I'm not,
I won't.

Does anyone else
find it disconcerting

that our new manager

can't get into
an R-rated movie

for another 6 years?

McGREVEY: Oh,
that's good, Bowers.

Oh, that's rich,
real funny.

This kid is taking
food off our table,

and you guys
are sitting around

making jokes.

I don't know about the
rest of you geniuses,

but I'm not putting up
with this crap.

I'm going to be
a free agent next year,

and I'll be damned

if I'm going to let
my career be ruined

by some mutant
little leaguer.

Hi, guys.

[MAKES
CLICKING NOISE]

Hey, Mark.

How's the knee?

Why? Are you
the trainer now, too?

Just trying
to be friends.

Want a friend?

Get a dog.

Well...

since it's
already quiet,

I guess we
might as well

start
the team meeting.

I'm going
to make this short,

although I should
practice

since I have public
speaking next year.

Oh, this is going to be
even worse than I thought.

Anyway, here's
what I want to say.

I think this team
is great.

I mean,
look at this.

We got Lou Collins
and Lonnie Ritter.

You guys
are all-stars.

Mike McGrevey,

you should win
20 games every year.

We've got speed.
We've got defense.

We've got pitching.

We've got it all.

I think we can
win this thing.

I don't know
about you,

but I'm psyched.

Look. I know you guys
think I'm a joke,

and maybe I am,

but I'll
make you a deal:

You guys play hard
for a couple of weeks.

After that,

if you don't like
the way I'm managing,

if we're not winning,

I'll fire myself.

I'm dedicating this season
to my grandpa,

so even if you don't
want to do it for me,

do it for him.

From the Metrodome
in the Twin Cities,

Hello, everybody.
This is Wally Holland.

And a historic event
here tonight,

as 11-year-old
Billy Heywood

makes his managerial debut.

The atmosphere
is electrifying.

A big sellout crowd

to see what
the boy wonder can do.

GUARD: Ok.
That's it, let's go.

Game's about to start.

Mr. Heywood
is a busy man. Let's go.

Ha ha ha!

Good luck,
honey.

Thanks, Mom.

Is this
the lineup card?

Wow.

Let me see this.

Look, Billy,

I don't want to add
any extra pressure,

but Shelly Hogeboom is
sitting in section 121.

Really?

Man, I can't
believe

you didn't
start Wedman.

He kills
the Tigers.

Look, guys,
I've got to go.

Hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute.

You've got something
on your face.

Mom!

Come on. The guys
are watching.

Nobody's
watching.

WALLY: Strike one.

The count now 2 and 1
to Mark Hodges.

Hey, Mac. Let's go
with the hit-and-run.

Going out
for milk and cookies

after the game,
sweetheart?

WALLY: Hodges
settles back in.

Lonnie off first.

Cannon delivers,
and there goes Lonnie.

The throw
down to second.

He's out.
Not even close.

That jackass.
He missed the sign.

He didn't miss it.

What are you
talking about?

He didn't even swing.

He hung Lonnie
out to dry.

I know.

WALLY: One out here,
bottom of the ninth.

Twins trail by two,
and Billy Heywood

looking to send up
a pinch hitter

for Pat Corning.

Jerry,
grab a bat.

What's up, J?
Big knock.

There you go,
baby.

Here's Jerry Johnson,

celebrating his 11th season
with the Twins.

He's had a rough
go of it so far.

Not many at bats.

His batting average--
.194.

That's nearly 80 points
below his career average.

Strike one.

Oh, boy, he sure
looked bad

swinging at that pitch.

Last year, though, he was
sixth in the American League

at hitting right-handers

he was facing
for the first time

after the seventh inning
at home.

So that's something
to keep in mind.

The 0-1 pitch.

Swing and a miss.
Strike two.

Don't worry, Mac.

He's a pro.
He'll come through.

WALLY: Strike 3,

and Johnson
goes down swinging

on 3 straight pitches.

That leaves it
up to 22-year-old

rookie second baseman
Mickey Scales.

He hasn't shown much
with the bat this year,

and I'm a little surprised

young Billy is going
to let him hit.

Popped up.

Tettleton
settles under it,

and that should
be the ball game.

Welcome to
the big leagues, kid.

It was a slider.
It was a slider.

I had Tettleton 0-2,
and I figured,

you know,
what the hey,

I've had good luck
against him in the past--

REPORTER: Here he comes.

I hope to face him
again in the future.

You know, funny story
about Tettleton...

Give me the honor
of being

the first reporter
to second-guess you.

If you could
do it again,

would you pinch-hit
for Scales in the ninth?

I mean, in the last
4 games--

Mickey's the one
I wanted in there.

We needed
an extra-base hit,

and he's got great power
to the gaps.

I wouldn't even think
of pinch-hitting for him.

Hey, I like this kid.
He's all right.

Of course you do.

He's the only guy
in the world

that thinks
you can hit.

What about that steal
with Lonnie in the fourth?

You still think
that was the right call?

Now wait
a minute.

First of all,
it wasn't a steal.

I guess not.

If I had to do it
over again,

I'd probably call
for a hit-and-run.

[REPORTERS ASKING
MORE QUESTIONS]

Great move, Hodgy.

Ignore
the hit-and-run...

make the kid
look bad.

He'll be gone
in a week.

I can't believe you
lost to the Tigers.

They stink.

Like you could
do better.

Told you. Should have
started Wedman.

I hate fishing.

I love it.

It relaxes me.

We've been doing this
for two years,

and we haven't
caught one fish.

Maybe this
isn't even fishing.

What do you mean?

Well, maybe it's not
actually fishing

until you
catch something.

So, what are
we doing?

WALLY: So John "Blackout"
Gatling is struggling.

One down, men
on first and second,

and he's behind
in the count--3 and 0.

What was wrong
with that one?

Well, Gatling's done.

We've got to get him
out of there.

Yeah.

Let's go
with Bowers.

Right.

Well, I'll go break
the news to Blackout.

No. That's ok.
I'll tell him.

Son...

Blackout gets a little
intense out there.

He doesn't like to be
taken out of games.

Who does?

What the hell
do you want?

You're a little
wild--high.

Maybe you're
overstriding.

Go away.

Um...

Well, I'm going to
bring in Bowers now.

No, you're not,
Ratboy,

not if you want to live
to see puberty!

That's enough,
Blackout.

Hey, all-star,
it doesn't matter to me.

You take a number,
because I'll kill you next.

I said
that's enough.

Whose side
are you on, man?

His.

He's the manager.

I got news for you.

You don't take me
out of the game,

not if you want to win.

Why?

You think Bowers
can't pitch?

You think you're the only
relief pitcher we got?

I didn't say it
like that, man.

That's not
what I meant.

Well, that's what
it sounds like.

I just want you
to know,

I had nothing
to do with this.

WALLY: Another tough loss
for Minnesota,

their fourth
in their last five games.

And Billy Heywood remains
winless in his young career.

An interesting side note.

That's the 14th
one-run game

for the Tigers
already this year,

tops for any team north
of the Mason-Dixon line

whose home games
are not played in a dome.

I don't know.

I think the kid's
doing pretty good.

Yeah,
Shorty's really

working it
out there.

Boom. Takes out
the big fella.

Boom. Puts in
Bowers.

Boom. Loses
the game.

Yeah, why don't we
let him win one

before we put him
in the Hall of Fame?

Tough loss, guys.

I really thought

we were going
to win that one.

We're not going
to win anything

with a kid
for a manager.

You know,
it seems to me,

you didn't win
last year with Jackson.

Certainly weren't
winning with O'Farrell.

Maybe I'm not
the problem.

Maybe the problem
is you guys forgot

how much fun
this is.

You're
major leaguers.

I mean, you're
on baseball cards.

What could be
better?

Multiyear deal
worth big bucks.

That's what.

Don't you
understand?

You guys get to play
baseball every day.

You get to go
to Yankee stadium,

play in
the same outfield

as Joe DiMaggio
and Mickey Mantle.

You get to go
to Fenway park,

step in the same
batter's box

as Ted Williams.

Look. From now on,
let's stop worrying

about winning
and losing.

Just go out and play
and have fun.

If you make an error,
forget it.

If you strike out,
who cares?

Just as long
as you hustle.

Tomorrow's an off day.

The season
starts Friday.

I want everybody
here early.

We're going to try
some things.

We're going to have
a little fun.

I hate fun.

Do you think
he'll be ok?

Are you kidding?

This is nothing compared
to the Corkscrew.

I was thinking in
slightly larger terms.

You mean like life.

Yeah. I mean, this
whole baseball thing

is so bizarre.

It is a lot to take on
for a little kid.

I know.
I worry about him.

What about you?

What about me?

Who worries about you?

I do ok by myself.

Really?

Yeah, really.

When was the last time
you had a real date?

A real date?

Yeah.

You know, you
go to a restaurant

with a guy you
don't know very well.

You sit at a table.

You eat food that's not
on a stick.

Well, let's see.
Today's Thursday.

So my last real date
would have been...

14 years ago,

and that was
with my husband.

At the risk
of breaking

a pretty
impressive streak,

you want to go see
a movie sometime?

What happened to food
that's not on a stick?

We could do that, too.

What did he say?

I think he said,
"Get off the bridge."

WALLY: In a move reminiscent
of Tommy Lasorda,

young Billy Heywood
has decided to coach third.

Let's see if it
brings the Twins any luck.

Pat Corning stands in.

Scales dances off third.

That's ball 3 to Corning.

Terry Hillers looks
a bit rattled out there.

Time, Ump.

Time.

Scales seems to be
getting to him.

Listen. I want you
to take this pitch.

If it's ball 4,

we're going to go
with the play.

Are you sure
this is legal?

Of course.

It seems like
a little-league play to me.

No way. Ty Cobb
and "Wahoo" Sam Crawford

used to do it
all the time.

Just try it,
will you?

You're the boss.

WALLY: Here's
the 3-0 pitch.

Ball 4, way outside.

Look at Corning
hustle down to first base.

Wait a minute.
He's rounding first.

He's trying for second.

Cates checks Scales.
The throw down.

And here comes Scales.

A throw back
to the plate.

Safe at home.
Safe at second.

Oh, my!

* You know, the girl
you love *

* She don't treat you
right sometimes *

* You know, the girl
you love *

* She don't treat you
right sometimes *

* Well, that's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* because you know
your girl is a liar *

* You know, the girl
you love *

* stays out
all night long *

* Yeah, the girl
you love *

* she stays out
all night long *

* and that's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* because your girl's
treating you wrong *

* I need my hat,
go get my coat *

* Uh-huh, 'cause
I found out, baby *

* you don't
want it anymore *

* That's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* Well, that's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* That's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* if you don't wanna
lose your girl *

* You know,
the girl's no good *

* but don't you
make no change *

* Should be mine,
should be mine *

* Oh, the girl's
no good *

* but don't you
make no change *

* Should be mine,
should be mine *

* That's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* because they're just
about all the same *

* She spends your dough *

* She drinks your gin *

* and if she rode
around the corner *

* then she's ready
to go again *

* That's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* That's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* That's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* if you don't wanna
lose your girl *

Coach, put me in there.

I can throw strikes.

Come on.

* Well, that's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* if you don't wanna
lose your girl *

* Yeah, that's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* if you don't wanna
lose your girl *

* Well, that's the stuff
you gotta watch *

* if you don't wanna
lose your girl *

Aah!

Man, I can't remember
the last time

the Twins
won six in a row.

Yeah, and the best thing is,
I don't have to fire myself.

Gentlemen, I just
landed on "go."

$500, please.

No, no, no.

You've got to go
to jail.

What do you mean?

When you
landed on "go,"

you got 500 bucks.

Yeah, but you're
the third guy.

The third guy
to land on "go"

always goes
to jail.

Really?

Yep, that's
the rule.

Man.

You are so lame.

Here's
your money.

I knew that.

JENNY: Hi, guys.

What?

You look
great, Mom.

I mean, you
always do,

but now
you do, too.

Thanks.

Hi, Jen.
Hi.

You look great.

KIDS: Whoo!

Oh, no. It's
the Bash brothers.

What's up, Skip?
Hey, Lou.

Billy, you sure
you're ok with this?

Yeah. I think
it's great.

My mom
on a date.

Yeah. Film at 11:00.

See you guys later.

Good night.

Have a nice night.

See you, boys.

Good night, Lou.

Bye, guys.

Oh, man. Lou
and your mom.

Give me a break.

Lou, I love you
so much.

That's it.
You're dead.

Man, why'd you buy me
this pizza parlor?

I like Chinese food.

Lonnie, this is an
unbelievable moneymaker.

I know, but...

I like Chinese food.

Hey, Mac,

do any of our guys
doctor the ball?

You know, like
throw a spitball?

I mean,
I don't care.

I just think
I should know.

No, I don't teach
the spitter.

It's a totally
illegal pitch,

and I'm against it.

Now, on the other hand,

if you put a little piece
of sandpaper--

I was looking
at some of the tapes,

and what you were saying
about my mechanics...

you were right.

So, uh...

I guess what
I'm trying to say

is, uh, you're
not a Ratboy.

Thanks.

Yeah.

11.5%, tax-free--

I had it since '82.

Unfortunately, they called
the bond last month,

so I took the money,
put some in munis,

and the rest
I took a flier on.

It's an oil company
in Colombia.

Oil, huh?

Mm-hmm.

You think this
is a good time

to refinance
my house?

Ahem.

Everything's
fine.

Not entirely.

It seems that several
of the ballplaying gentlemen

are causing a disturbance
in room 415.

Ours.
Ours.

I apologize,
sir.

We'll take care
of this right away.

No, no. That's
all right. I'll go.

You guys stay here.

This is
the manager's job.

Ohh.

Bite me.

How could that miss?

Now, William,

I cannot stress
this enough.

You've got to allow
for the wind factor.

It's vital.
You understand?

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

McGrevey, 1:00.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Wonderful.

Come on, baby.

Oh, that's
too easy.

His head's so big,
it's not even fair.

Need one.

Give it 3 feet
to the left.

Bombs away.

Bowers! I know
it's you, buddy.

I know it's you.

Yeah.

Way to go, Skip.
Way to go.

Great shot.

Evening, boys.

Hey.

I was
just watching.

MAN: Come in.

Nurse Lewis.
Nurse Richards.

What can I
do for you?

That's just it,
Doctor.

You're always
doing something

for everybody
else.

We thought
it was time

someone did something
nice for you.

DOCTOR: Girls.
Girls, please,

I'm on call.

That's perfect,

because I need a specialist
for what I've got.

DOCTOR:
Careful, please.

That was a gift
from my third wife.

BILLY: Chuck?
Listen.

NURSE: Haven't you
ever given an exam

in your office
before?

Night Nurses
from Jersey.

Yeah.

"They're off the turnpike
and on duty for love."

It's on all night.

You just hit a button,
they send it right to your room.

The great thing is,
nobody knows.

Hold on, I've got
to go.

They just got
a new patient.

Now, what are we
going to do

about this blood
pressure of yours?

WALLY: Line drive
base hit,

and the Red Sox
refuse to quit.

A man on first and third

and only one out.

McGREVEY: How sad.
Another tragic victim

of the Night Nurses
from New Jersey.

Thought you might want
to get up for this.

The go-ahead run
is on first.

What?

Sorry.

WALLY: Ground ball
to Scales.

Flips to Corning,
back to Collins.

Double play.

Way to go, guys.

Now, how does
it go again?

Cowboy rides
into town on Friday.

He stays 3 days,

and he leaves
on Friday.

How did he do it?

All right,
one more time.

Ok. There's a cowboy.

Right.

He rides into town
on Friday.

Weighed 250 pounds.

He used to waller in
the mud all the time--

No, he didn't.

What do you mean?

Well, it's
a scientific fact.

A pig becomes a hog
at 180 pounds.

So?

So what does that
make your wife?

Fat.

Don't you ever
talk about anything

that matters?

You mean, like,
money?

No. I mean like
how to get off a team

that's managed
by a circus freak.

WALLY: 1-1 here,
bottom of the second,

and the Twins
continue to look good.

I'll tell you what, folks.

They've marched into New York
a razor-sharp ball club,

firing on all cylinders.

Every man on the team's
got an extra bounce to his step,

with the possible exception
of Mike McGrevey.

McGrevey shakes off
the sign.

And again.

Paul O'Neill
digging in.

Here's the pitch.

There's a drive
to deep right.

Kain on his horse,
and...

he's got it.

Oh, what a catch
by Tucker Kain.

MAC: All right.
Great grab, buddy.

[PLAYERS
CONGRATULATING KAIN]

Mike?

What happened
to the scouting report?

What happened
to off

I don't know, Mac.

I guess it
slipped my mind.

You're a freaking
prima donna, McGrevey.

You don't deserve
to wear that uniform.

You know,
you're right, Mac.

I'm a disgrace
to the Twins.

I think you should
trade me.

Well, as soon as
we find somebody

dumb enough
to take you,

that's exactly what
we're going to do.

No,
we're not.

We're not
trading you.

So what are you
going to do, bench me?

Nope. Play you.

When it's your turn
to pitch,

you pitch.

Nothing changes.

You know, I don't think
that's such a good idea.

I have a feeling
my concentration

is not going to be
that good out there.

I might tend
to forget

some of those
scouting reports.

Well, that's
up to you.

You're
the free agent.

Hey, Mac, what's
the going rate

for an absent-minded
pitcher

who can't get
anybody out?

WALLY: McGrevey
stares in.

The 0-2 delivery.

Blows it by Anthony.
Strike 3.

Here's the 2-2 pitch.
Got him!

McGrevey out of the windup.

The big, sweeping hook
freezes O'Neill,

and McGrevey has
struck out the side.

What has gotten
into Mike McGrevey?

Hello.

What?

No, his life story
is not for sale.

I don't care.

Come in!

No, we're not
hiding anything.

Fine, then it will
be unauthorized.

"Get an unlisted
number," they said.

I said, "No. What do
we need that for?"

Pfft.

I don't know you.

This is Lowell.

We let him hang out
with us sometimes

when Billy's
not available.

Hi there.

Would you guys mind
bringing Billy his mail?

Oh, no problem.
We'll take care of it.

Let's go.

Thanks, Chuck.

I think we should
take a chance with him.

I think he's
got a live arm.

I'm telling you,
I like him a lot.

Who, Wedman?

Hurry up!

Listen, can I call you
right back?

Thanks.

What's the big rush?

We're late. We got the lanes
reserved for 1:00.

1:00? I thought
it was 2:00.

1:00, numb nuts.

It's the only
time they had.

Come on, man.
Let's go.

I--I can't. I got to go
over all this paperwork.

Wow, you sound
like my dad.

Hey, you talk when
we tell you to talk.

Hey, listen, guys.

Thursday's an off day.

We got a light workout in
the morning, but then nothing.

Why don't we go
to Raging Waters?

Raging Waters?

Cool!

Sorry.

We'll meet you here.
Thursday, 1:00.

Deal?

Deal.

PLAYER: Yeah, baby.

PLAYER: Good job.

That will do it.

DIFFERENT PLAYER:
That's it.

What are we going
to do about Jerry?

He's just not
cutting it anymore.

He'll be ok.

I don't know.

Ah.

You know the first
game I ever saw,

Jerry hit
a 450-foot homer

to win the game.

Son, you can't afford
to be a fan.

That's not part
of the job.

We're in a pennant race.

We need a hitter
up here.

The last couple
I aired out, you know?

My arm feels good.

Yeah, well,
don't be a hero.

Ice it down.

Hey, Billy?

Guess who I'm having
lunch with today.

Who?

Reggie Jackson.

You know
Reggie Jackson?

Are you kidding?

I was his
favorite pitcher.

He said he'd rather
hit against me

than anybody
he ever faced.

Anyway, um, he wants
to meet you.

He wants to meet me?

Yeah. He's a big
fan of yours.

Wow!

So what do you say?
You want to go?

Yeah, great.
Let's go.

All right.

I thought we'd
go down to Hoolihan's.

They got a chiliburger down
there the size of your head.

CHUCK: Where is he?

JOEY: I don't like this.
We had a deal.

Oh, forget it.
Let's go.

We don't need him,
anyway.

Hey, wait up.

Wait up!

Mom, I'm bigger
than Godzilla.

I just had lunch
with Mr. October,

Reggie Jackson,
and he loves me.

Yeah?

Well, good for you.

You stood up
your friends.

Oh, man. I forgot.

I'll get the team to
sign a couple of balls.

I think you should call them
and apologize.

I'll call them
tonight.

Good, and while
we're at it,

there's another thing
I'm not so thrilled about.

Night Nurses from Jersey?

What's that?

Save it.

Arthur sent me the bill.

11 times in 3 days?

Must have been
a good movie.

It was Bowers.
Honest.

He kept making me
order it.

You want me to
trade him? I will.

I'll send him
to Detroit.

Billy.

I'm sorry.

I won't watch those
movies anymore.

Good answer.

There. See her?
Right up there?

She's right under
the hardware Hank sign.

In the red?

No, in the white.

Oh, God.
Yes.

Ok. Cowboy rides
into town on Friday,

leaves 3 days later
on Friday.

How'd he do it?

Jerry Johnson
heading to the plate

trying to turn things around

here in the second half
of the season.

He's really
fighting it, though.

One out. One out now.
One out.

FAN: Big strike zone.
Oh, yeah.

DIFFERENT FAN: Come on,
Jerry. Let's go. Come on!

WALLY: The pitch.

Strike one.

Rodriguez, snap throw
to first.

Not in time.

Eber sets.

The pitch.

There's a ground ball
to the right side,

through for a base hit.

Yes! All right.
See, Mac?

This could be
the start.

COACH:
Way to go, Jer.

Way to go, Jerry!

Son, don't you think
there's something wrong

when you get
this excited

over a seeing-eye
single?

You wanted to see me?

Yeah. Come on in.

What's up?

Listen,
Jerry, uh...

we've decided
to, um...

well, you know,

we've got to, uh...

You've got to what?

We've got to
release you, Jerry.

We're bringing up
Ronnie Parker from AAA.

What are you
talking about?

How can you do this
to me, Billy?

I thought
we were friends.

We are.

I just need some at bats,
that's all.

I mean, how the hell
am I supposed to hit

if I don't get to the plate
but once a week?

I can't believe this.

How do you
think I feel?

You're my favorite
ballplayer of all time.

I mean, my--my
friend Joey

offered me
a Wade Boggs

and a Sammy Sosa
card for you,

and I wouldn't
do it.

Is that supposed
to make me feel better?

Am I supposed
to tell my wife

that I just got cut
by a 12-year-old,

but it's ok because
he likes my baseball card?

I guess not.

You're making
a big mistake.

I'm not through yet.

I'll catch on somewhere,
and when I do,

I'm going to
come back here

and I'm going to stick it
right in your face!

I hope you do.

Billy.

What are you
doing up?

I don't know.

I wasn't tired.

Sorry I bothered you.

Whoa. Billy.

Are you ok?

Is it Jerry?

No.

I know it's hard,

but it comes
with the territory.

It's not Jerry.

I just wanted
to watch some tv.

Honey, it's past
your bedtime.

So? I'm always up
later than this.

Hey. I thought
we agreed.

Off nights you have
to be in bed by 11:00.

Fine.

Then Lou has to be
in bed by 11:30.

Are you serious?

Yeah. If I have to have
a curfew, then so do you.

You can't give
Lou a curfew.

Yes, I can.
I'm his manager.

And I'm
your mother.

Jenny, I better
get going.

It is getting
kind of late.

Forget it.

Who cares?

Do whatever you want.

Twins trail the Rangers 3-2
here in the seventh.

Mickey Scales steps in.

0 for 3 today.
He struck out twice.

There's a bunt down third.

Palmer charges.

Scales digging for first.

Barehanded pickup.

The throw to first is wide.

Palmeiro with a sweep tag,
and Scales is...

UMPIRE: He's out!

WALLY: Out at first!

What?

Come on, Blue.
He didn't touch me.

He didn't touch me.
That's brutal.

My mom can make
that call, Blue.

Come on.

COACH: Mick, Mick.
Mick. Mick.

He missed the tag.
He missed the tag.

Well, what are you--
Bob Uecker?

Oh, come on. That
was a lousy call.

You were out
of position.

I saw what I saw,
so go sit down.

No, I'm not going
to go sit down,

because you're
a big dork.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you're a little squirt
with a big mouth,

so why don't you get out
of my face before I get mad?

Go ahead. Get mad.

Come on. Pop a vein,
you ugly, big--

...seeing eye dog.

You're out of here,
Heywood.

Oh, yeah.
That's right.

Throw me out,
you big, fat--

You're blind
as a bat.

Get out of here!

Fine!

Ever heard of Certs?

Billy!

Come over here.

Hey, what's gotten
into you?

What'd you say
to that umpire?

UMPIRE: You want
to know what he said?

I'll tell you
what he said.

He called me a...

The way I see it, I've got to do
what's best for Bill Heywood.

So for now, to avoid
a more severe penalty,

I will submit
to my mother's suspension,

but I don't agree with it.

A Bill Heywood must be allowed
to speak his mind to an umpire.

Otherwise, he cannot
fully do his job.

Bill Heywood?

Billy's
a kid's name.

Bill sounds
more grown-up.

You're not
a grownup.

You're not even
a teenager,

and what's with all this
third

What do you mean?

You know exactly
what I mean.

"A Bill Heywood

must be allowed
to speak his mind"?

When did
all this start?

I don't know.

That's how
all the guys talk--

Bo Jackson,
Danny Tartabull.

Look, let
Danny Tartabull's mother

worry about him.

I'm very upset
with you.

Remember our
little talk

when you stood up
Chuck and Joey?

This is all
part of it.

It's not my fault
I never see you.

I mean, I'm busy.

We're in a pennant race.

Duh, like
we didn't know.

Yeah, duh.

Hey, you know, if we beat
the Rangers tomorrow,

we could be in first.

You know, you should
start Wedman.

He always beats
the Rangers.

He always
beats everybody.

That's why
he's 3 and 7.

I can't believe you lost
those two to the Indians.

They're so lame.

You think this is easy?
Why don't you try it?

De-hype. I was just
kidding around.

I wasn't. You should
start Wedman.

And you should leave
the baseball to me.

Look, can we just talk about
something else, please?

Do you think,
in his whole life,

Batman ever ate
at McDonald's or KFC?

Of course.
He would have to.

Suppose Commissioner
Gordon needs him

and he's in a hurry,

but he's really hungry.

What else is he
going to do?

Boy, I'd hate to be the guy
behind the Batmobile

in the drive-through.

Batman steps on that gas.

Flame comes out.

You guys are
both retarded.

The Caped Crusader
does not eat fast food.

Well, how
do you know?

He might.

CHUCK: What
do you mean?

Billy knows
everything.

He's the manager
of the Twins.

He's the coolest
guy in the world.

Just ask him.

PLAYER: Now there's
a big shot, Daddy.

DIFFERENT PLAYER:
Nice stroke, Leon.

Here you go, Mick.

CAMERAMAN: Hey, Boomer.
Fix your tie.

No. On the bottom there.

Great.

And in 5, 4, 3, 2...

Hello once again,
everybody.

I'm Chris Berman, and welcome
to Baseball Tonight

here in the Homerdome
in Minneapolis.

This fellow sitting next to me
needs no introduction.

He may be a little boy,

but he's a little boy with
an awfully big job to do.

I mean, it's a job
so big that you

couldn't imagine
doing it your--

Chris. Chris.

Can we get
on with it?

All right, Billy. I'm not
going to beat around the bush.

People say the Twins may
actually win this thing,

but there's a lot
of baseball left,

and with each game,
the pressure mounts.

People say you're already
beginning to feel that strain,

that you're beginning to crack
like a bad stucco job.

How do you
respond to that?

Well, Chris,

ever since I took
this job,

everybody's been waiting
for me to fall apart.

Well, it's not
going to happen.

I dedicated this season
to my grandpa,

and we're going
to win it for him.

And yet the stucco?

Chris, I don't
understand the question.

I don't even know
if it is a question.

I've got a job to do.

The feistiness
of a champion.

DIRECTOR: Cut.
I loved it.

We'll edit that out.

That's what I meant.

I know your birthday
isn't until tomorrow,

but I couldn't wait.

Billy.

Go ahead.
Open it.

What is it?

You'll see.

Arthur helped me
pick it out.

Billy, this
is beautiful.

Thank you.

And I was thinking,

for your official
birthday,

I could
cook you dinner.

I'll make my specialty--
spaghetti and meatballs.

Well, actually...

Lou asked me out.

Oh.

Hey, tell you what.

I'll call Lou.
We'll all go.

It will be fun.

Great.

WALLY: So with two down
here in the seventh,

Royals' pitching continues
to handcuff the Twins.

Lou Collins to the plate,

and he can certainly
attest to that.

Lou is 0 for 11
the last 3 games,

all Twin losses.

He hit two bullets
yesterday,

but came up empty.

Today, more
of the same.

Hanley looks in
for the sign.

Lou, by the way, has hit .416
lifetime versus Hanley

in the month of September
in even years.

So that certainly bodes well
for this at bat.

Here's the pitch.

There's a shot
down the line.

Could be extra bases.

Oh, what a stop
by Joyner!

Hanley covers
at first.

Lou is robbed again.

That's all right.
Keep swinging, Lou.

They'll start
falling.

Good at bat, Lou.
You're all right, buddy.

Thanks, Tuck.

That's all right.

Hey, Lou.

Can I talk to you
for a sec?

You're benching me?

I think you've
been pressing.

Why now, Billy?
We're one game out.

Maybe if you start
concentrating on baseball,

you could get
back in.

Do you think
I'm not hitting

because I'm not
concentrating?

I don't know why
you're not hitting.

It's for you
to figure out.

WALLY: For Billy Heywood,

the September swoon
must seem endless.

The Twins came into Chicago
badly needing a couple of wins,

but it's been
all White Sox tonight,

as they lead, 7-2.

Minnesota's once-bright
pennant hopes

could be fading away.

There's a routine
grounder to third.

Over to first--two away.

Why didn't you
run that out?

I don't know.

I should have.

I guess I got
frustrated.

Yeah, well,
I'm frustrated, too,

at the way
you've been playing.

I'm fining you $500.

If you do it again,
you're suspended.

And that goes for
the rest of you guys.

You're always talking
about making money

and how this
is a business.

Well, start
acting like it.

Chuck, what's up?

Oh, hi, Billy.

Not much.
Just goofing around.

Nothing exciting

like hanging out
with major leaguers.

Look, I said
I was sorry.

Hey--hey, maybe
I can get you some--

Look, Billy,

we don't want any more
autographed baseballs.

I can't talk
right now.

I'm sitting
on Lowell.

Oh. Get off.

Get off. Oh.

ARTHUR:
There you are.

I've been looking all over
the stadium for you.

May I sit?

BILLY: Yeah.

What's going on?

I don't know.

I just don't feel like
talking to the press.

Every day, they keep
second-guessing me.

"Why don't you do this?
Why don't you do that?"

Billy,
it's a compliment.

They're treating you
like everybody else.

Like an adult.

Big whoop.

You know, if they ask me
one more time

why Lou isn't
starting...

Why isn't Lou
starting?

WALLY: Blackout Gatling in

to see if he can
stop the bleeding.

Raines laces a shot.

That'll be extra bases for sure,

and the Twins' woes continue.

Fernandez blows it
by Hamilton. Strike 3!

Ground ball...

right through Alexander.

Another Twins error,

and the question is,

where is Lou Collins
when you need him?

The 0-2 pitch.

Swing and a miss,

and Lonnie chases strike 3.

When are you
going to learn

to lay off that pitch?

All year,
the same thing.

Somebody needs to find
that boy a woman.

McGrevey thinks he can
go on 3 days' rest,

but I don't know.

You busy?

You're still
not starting,

if that's what
you're wondering.

I thought
you should know

Lonnie's been
playing hurt.

He's got two
separated ribs.

They took x-rays.

There's no breaks,
but it's painful.

How?

Remember
that collision

he had with Cecil
in Detroit?

Why didn't somebody
say something?

Oh, he made me
promise, Mac.

He didn't want
to come out.

He's trying
to help the club.

You know, I once had
a manager who said

the game has to be fun,
no matter what.

I liked playing
for him.

BOY: I'll take
Newburgh.

DIFFERENT BOY:
I'll take riley.

Ok. I'll take
Hanson.

Then I got...
Owens.

Well, that just
leaves Sidney.

I mean,
we only got 9.

I don't want Sidney.
You take Sidney.

I don't want Sidney.

Let Sidney pitch
for both teams.

Yeah.

No way.
I want to bat.

Oh, Sid.

Hey, you guys
need one more?

Yeah. You want
to play?

Hey, wait a minute.

Aren't you
Billy Heywood?

Yeah, right.
I wish.

Hold it.

You are.

Everyone says that.

Hey, if I was
Billy Heywood,

what would I be
doing here?

Yeah, I guess
you're right.

Ok. You can
play. Come on.

Come on, guys.

Oh, what's your name?

Uh, Bond.
Jim Bond.

Bond, you any good?

I'm ok.

Ok.

Over the fence
is a home run,

through the gate
is a ground-rule double,

anything off the
buildings and the cars

is in play,
and, um,

it's kind of easy.

Think you got it?

Yeah, sure.

Cool.

Nah, not even close.

JOHN FOGERTY: * Well,
a beat-up glove *

* a homemade bat *

* and a brand-new
pair of shoes *

* You know, I think it's time
to give this game a ride *

* just to hit the ball
and touch 'em all *

* A moment in the sun *

* it's a-gone, and you can
tell that one good-bye *

* Oh, put me in, coach *

* I'm ready to play *

* today *

* look at me *

* gotta be *

* center field *

* Yeah *

Hey, good game,
Bond.

Billy. Hi.

How are you doing?

Hey, what's all
this about?

I missed you.

I missed you, too.

BILLY: It's been sort
of a weird year, huh?

Yeah, I'd say
a little.

I'm not handling
things very well, am I?

Honey, you got to
remember,

you're just
12 years old.

There's a lot going
on in your life.

And your dad's not here
for you anymore.

And your grandpa's
not here for you.

It's not easy.

Are you still
here for me?

Billy, listen to me
very carefully.

I will always
be here for you.

There is nothing
on this earth

that could ever
change that--

that could ever
make me stop loving you.

Hey, Lou...

you're starting.

Good.

PLAYER: Hey, man,
turn this up.

Shh.

BERMAN ON TV: Meanwhile,
over in the American League,

there is still one race
that's yet to be determined,

and, boy, we thought
we'd never say this one--

the race for the wildcard spot.

Heywood's bunch
is hanging on but barely.

The Twins trail the Mariners
by 4 games with just 4 to go.

Very simply, one Seattle win
or one Minnesota loss

means the M's are in
and the Twins are out,

but hats off
to the Twinkies.

What a marvelous
season they've had.

Bite me.

Listen up, guys.

Uh, I'd like to call
a team meeting.

Oh, jeez.

Here's the deal.

I screwed up.

I started worrying
so much about winning

that I forgot
to have fun.

I guess I made
it impossible

for anybody else
to have fun, either.

I'm sorry.

On behalf of the entire
Apache nation,

we accept this
olive branch of peace.

Great.

I think.

Um, anyway, I got some
special plays in mind.

One of them's
a pick-off play.

In order for it
to work,

we're going to have
to practice it a lot,

and the whole team has to
help, even you, McGrevey.

[PLAYERS
LAUGHING SOFTLY]

Don't you charge
extra for that?

McGREVEY:
Give me a comeback.

Oh, that's
a good one.

Bite me.

I got something to say.
Listen up.

I've been
through this before--

everyone counting us out.

Let them.

Let them.

This is baseball, guys.

Anything can happen.

We can still
win this thing.

Hey, we can win
this thing, baby.

Come on. Let's go!

You bet we can,

and if we do, great,

but win or lose, it's
going to be one fun week.

WALLY: There's a drive
to deep right field!

Could be...might be...

it is! Home run!

Welcome back, Lou Collins!

MAN: * Hey, hey *

* Whoa *

* Whoa *

* Whoa *

* Da da da da *

* Whoa... *

* I should've known it
from the very start *

* this girl will leave me
with a broken heart *

* Now listen, people,
what I'm telling you *

* a-keep away from
a-runaround Sue, yeah *

* I miss her lips
and the smile on her face *

* the touch of her hand
and this girl's warm embrace *

* so if you don't
wanna cry like I do *

* a-keep away from
a-runaround Sue *

* Whoa *

* Whoa *

* Whoa *

* She likes to travel
around, yeah *

* She'll love you,
then she'll put you down *

* Now, people, let me
put you wise *

* Sue goes out
with other guys *

* Here's the moral
in the story *

* from the guy who knows *

* I fell in love,
and my love still grows *

* Ask any fool that she
ever knew, they'll say *

* a-keep away from
a-runaround Sue *

* Yeah, keep away
from this girl *

* I know, know what to do *

* keep away from Sue *

* She likes to travel
around, yeah *

* She'll love you,
and she'll put you down *

* Now, people, let me
put you wise *

* She goes out
with other guys *

* Here's the moral
in the story *

* from that guy who knows *

* I fell in love,
and my love still grows *

* Ask any fool that
she ever knew, they'll say *

* a-keep away from
a-runaround Sue *

* Yeah! *

* Stay away from that girl *

* Don't you know
what to do now? *

* Whoa *

WALLY: Ladies and gentlemen,
this one's not over yet.

With a 4-game sweep
over the Indians,

the Twins have done
their part,

and thus far,
with 3 straight losses,

so have the Mariners.

But one big hurdle remains--

a victory
for Seattle tonight,

and they still clinch
the wild-card spot,

but a loss would create a tie
and force a one-game playoff,

so now the Twins
can only wait and hope.

ANNOUNCER ON TV: Seattle's
cut the lead to one run.

Here comes Dave Magadan.
One out--

CORNING: Ground ball, baby.
Come on. One time.

ANNOUNCER ON TV: A chance
to win it for the M's.

Mags, I know you're
a decent human being,

but die like a dog.

ANNOUNCER: Here's
the pitch to Magadan.

Ground ball.

MAN: Turn it, baby!
Come on, baby!

Yeah! Yeah!

Give me
a second.

Sure.

Hi.

I was just thinking
about Grandpa.

Bet he'd be really happy
about all this.

Bet he would.

Mom...I'm tired
of being a grownup.

We got to get
a new spot.

You know, one
of these days,

you might not even have
a river to fish in.

What are you
talking about?

I don't know.

Just heard it
on some commercial.

Hi, guys.

Listen. I want to
be friends again.

I had, like,
you know,

a two-month
brain cramp,

but I'm
better now,

and I didn't bring
any signed balls

or bats, either.

What do you say?

Maybe Lowell's right.

What do you mean?

Well, we were going
to call you, anyways.

Lowell decided
that you were acting

under a lot
of stress.

I mean,
it wasn't your fault.

It--you know...

You were a dweeb.

Lowell
said that?

Yeah. Turns out
he's a pretty good guy

once we let him
talk.

Did you bring
your pole?

Yeah, sure.

How are they
running?

JOEY: Hardly have to
wet your line.

WALLY: From the Metrodome
in the Twin cities,

hello again, everybody.

This is Wally Holland.

Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the big one--

one game to decide
who goes on

and who goes home.

Still doing
your homework?

Yeah.

You know, we got a relatively
big game today, kid.

Yeah, well, I got
a relatively big math tutor.

Can't have this
hanging over my head.

Hmm...math, huh?

You know,
I've always heard

that it helps
to write it down.

WALLY: You've worked
all season long,

and now it comes
down to this.

You wonder what goes
through the minds

of the players
and the coaches

in pressure situations
like these.

BILLY: If Joe can
paint a house in 3 hours

and Sam can paint the
same house in 5 hours,

how long does it take
for them to do it together?

Wait a minute.

You never said
this was a word problem.

Scales!

Get over here!

What's up, Mac?

If I can paint
a house in 3 hours

and you can
paint it in 5,

how long will it take us
to paint it together?

Lonnie!

Takes me 3 hours
to paint a house,

it takes you 5.

How long to do it
together?

What color paint?

WALLY: It's times
like this

where the veterans
really have to step up

and lead the way
for the young guys--

the guys who haven't
been here before.

Mark: It's simple.
5 times 3.

So that's 15.

No, no, no.
Lookit...

takes 8 hours.

5 plus 3...
that's 8.

SPENCER: Oh, man,
that's not right.

Check it out.

There's one,
two of them,

so it only takes
4 hours.

I should know this.

My uncle's a painter.

Why don't they just

get a house that's
already painted?

You know, maybe
there is no answer.

Maybe it's one of those
trick questions.

You ever
think of that?

I don't know.
I mean...

8 sounds good to me.

SPENCER: But there's
two of them.

Come on, there's
two of them.

Fellas, fellas, fellas,
fellas, fellas...

the chalk,
if you please.

A-thank you.

Using the simple
formula "a" times "b"

over "a" plus "b,"

we arrive at
our answer of 1 7/8.

Wow. Are you sure?

Oh, oh, but of course,
my diminutive leader.

Long have I been familiar
with the exactitudes

of the mathematical world.

And, Mac, the horse's name
is Friday.

Well, um...great!

Now that
the pressure's off,

let's go win a ball game!

ALL: Let's go! Let's
get it up! Come on now!

I said Clark Bar.

We're out.

You know
what you should do?

You should start Wedman.

I had a feeling
you might say that.

WALLY: Swing and a miss!
Strike 3!

Who would've thought it?

Little-used Bill Wedman

has held the powerful M's
scoreless,

and the Twins
and the Mariners battling

in a nothing-nothing tie
here in the sixth inning.

Oh, I tell you,

Billy Heywood really
pulled a rabbit

out of his hat
in this one,

but his luck
may be running out.

Two out, two on,

and the always dangerous

Ken Griffey Jr.
Stepping to the plate.

Here's the pitch.

There's a drive!

Way back! Way back!

That one is long gone!

Damn!

Ladies and gentlemen,

people take vacations
shorter than that!

That's a shame.

Just a shame.

WALLY: Two outs here in
the bottom of the seventh,

and with the Twins
still trailing 3-0,

time is running out
for Billy Heywood.

Mark Hodges at the plate.

Lonnie leads off first.

Here's the pitch.
Lonnie takes off!

Hodges swings
and ropes one into left!

Lonnie trying for third!
The throw...

he's safe at third!

So Heywood gambles
with a hit-and-run

and for
the first time today,

the Twins have
something cooking.

PLAYER: Let's keep it
going, man.

I think we ought
to pinch-hit for Mickey.

No way, Mac.

Want me to hit?

Yep.

Mickey! Mickey!

Be aggressive!
Be a hitter!

WALLY: So Scales
steps in.

A tough situation
for the rookie.

The pitch...

that is a long fly ball
down the left-field line!

Is it fair

It is! Home run!

Touch them all,
Mickey Scales!

And we got
a brand-new ball game!

What do you know
about that?

So we move into
the tenth all tied,

and thus far, it's been

the Ken Griffey Jr. Show
for Seattle.

Two singles, and of course,

that monstrous 3-run shot
in the sixth inning.

Bowers, in his
second inning of relief,

pitching very carefully
to Griffey.

The count--3 and 2.

Here's the payoff pitch.

UMPIRE: Ball.

WALLY: Ball 4.

Oh, boy, that's trouble,

especially with Junior's
base-running ability.

Hey, guys...

remember that play
we've been working on?

Now's the time.

MAC: Billy...

this is too important a time
to be screwing around

with everybody's
concentration.

Come on, Mac.
It'll be fun.

Oh, what the hell.

This whole season's
been crazy, anyway.

Hodgy!

Ok, nobody out now.

WALLY: Bowers checks
the runner.

Throws to first...

not in time.

What is Bowers
thinking about?

I don't know. That boy's
out of his mind.

Just for that,
I'm taking second,

then I'm taking third.

I might even
take home.

Got to do what
you got to do, Junior.

WALLY: Quick move
to first...

oh! The ball
gets by Collins!

Lou can't find the ball!

It's along the railing
up the line!

Here comes Kain
in from right field!

Griffey heads for second!

He may go for third!

Wait--wait a minute!

The ball never left
Bowers' hand!

He had it all the time!
Griffey is out at second,

and Casey Stengel

just sat up in his grave
and applauded!

What the hell was that?

Oh, yeah.

Bowers!

I love that guy,
man.

WALLY: Folks, this has
been a classic.

Blackout gatling trying
to work out of a jam--

two out, man on--

Dave Magadan
at the plate.

Ground ball to third...

oh, no! Bad hop!

Henderson rounds third,
and he will score!

Here's the throw
to second...

out at second base,

but the damage is done.

Seattle takes the lead

on a terrible break
for the Twins,

who are now only 3 outs
from elimination.

Scales leads off,

looking for lightning
to strike twice.

The Twins sure could
use a long ball.

Wulff winds...

the first pitch
to Scales...

ground ball to second...

over to first...one away.

LEON: It's all right, guys.
We got two big ones left.

Come on. Let's go.

Hang in there. Come on.

Get something
going, Pat!

Come on, man.
Hang in there.

How'd that happen?
I was right there.

You know, the same
thing happened

to Freddie Lindstrom

in the 12th inning
of the 7th game

in the 1924
World Series.

Ball hit a pebble,

went right through
his legs.

It did?

You know what
he did after that?

Stepped up
to the plate

and ripped
a game-winning double.

He did?

He sure did.

Now grab a bat.
You're on deck.

Son, I realize

this ain't exactly
the right time.

Lindstrom
never doubled.

The ball off the pebble
ended the game.

I know that.

He doesn't.

WALLY: Corning,
line drive...

what a catch!

Oh, that one had "base hit"
written all over it.

So now the Twins are down
to their last out.

Larry Hilbert--hitless
in 5 at bats today--

steps in.

I will say this, though,

he sure looks determined.

Great game,
isn't it?

Why aren't you
on deck?

Have you seen
your mom?

She's right behind
the dugout. Why?

I just asked her
to marry me.

What'd she say?

She said
I should ask you.

Yeah, baby!

Yes!

WALLY: Lou Piniella

is calling for
the big fellow--

major league
strikeout champion

Randy Johnson.

Hit a homer.

What?

Hit a homer, and I say
you can marry her.

Hey, Lou...

Yeah?

You can marry her
even if you don't hit a homer.

Thanks.

And, Lou...

Yeah?

If Johnson
gets ahead of you,

watch for
the slider--

low and away.

WALLY: It's all up
to Lou Collins.

And Twins fans,
tell me,

who would you rather
have up there?

Randy Johnson making
a rare relief appearance,

but in a situation
like this,

Piniella's pulling out
all the stops.

6' 10" with
a nasty slider,

Johnson's been almost
unhittable for the M's

down the stretch.

Lou taking his time.

Johnson...
out of the stretch...

high and tight!

Oh, he sent Lou
a message with that one!

Here comes the pitch.

Oh, my!

You did great,
Lou.

Thanks.

Hey, it was still
a hell of a year.

It was the most fun
I ever had.

It's the only fun
I ever had.

MAC: Ahem.
Now listen up, guys.

Kid has something
he wants to say.

Brooklyn Dodgers
had a saying--

"Wait till
next year."

There it is,
because next year,

we're gonna
win it all, baby.

Give me some
of that.

The Dodgers
played in Brooklyn?

BILLY: The thing is,
though, um...

we're making
a little change.

I'm retiring.

I want to spend a little
more time fishing,

and between that
and little league,

I just don't think
I can handle the job.

Mac's going
to take over for me.

Jerry's going to come back
as third-base coach

and hitting instructor.

No,
this can't be.

Mac, no offense.

I look forward
to your tutelage,

but, Bill, you're the only
manager I've ever had

who's truly appreciated
the intricacies...

of the water balloon.

JOHN: Billy.

You can't leave,
man.

Hey, it's not like
I'm going anywhere.

I mean, I'm still
the owner.

The way I figure it,

if I struggle
in junior high,

I can always come back.

Um, excuse me,
Mr. Heywood,

but, um, uh,
they're still here.

Who?

Everybody.

* Well, I'm ready,
and I'm willing *

* and I'm able
to rock 'n' roll all night *

* I'm ready,
and I'm willing *

* and I'm able
to rock 'n' roll all night *

* So come on, pretty baby *

* We're gonna rock,
we're gonna roll *

* until the broad daylight *

* because I'm ready, mm-hmm *

* and I'm able, mm-hmm *

* I'm willing,
and I'm able *

* so you better
come and go with me *

* We're gonna rock 'n' roll *

* baby, till tomorrow
about 3:00 *

* Talking on the phone
is not my speed *

* Don't send me no letter
'cause I can't read *

* Don't be long
'cause I'll be gone *

* We gonna rock 'n' roll
all night long *

* 'cause I'm ready,
I'm willing *

* and I'm able
to rock 'n' roll all night *

* I'm ready,
and I'm willing *

* and I'm able
to rock 'n roll all night *

* So come on, pretty baby *

* We're gonna rock,
we're gonna roll *

* until tomorrow night *

* Well, I'm ready,
and I'm willing *

* and I'm able
to rock 'n' roll all night *

* I'm ready,
and I'm willing *

* and I'm able
to rock 'n' roll all night *

* so come on, pretty baby *

* We're gonna rock,
we're gonna roll *

* until the broad daylight *

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--

I still like 8.