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1994.
Welcome to Staten Island,
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00:00:21,528 --> 00:00:24,397
a great year
and a great place to grow up.
3
00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:34,340
That's Stacey, my hula girl.
4
00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:36,442
Oh, oh,
that's me in high school.
5
00:00:36,509 --> 00:00:37,978
Man, look at that hair.
6
00:00:38,045 --> 00:00:40,181
I look just like
Chandler Bing, right?
7
00:00:40,247 --> 00:00:41,882
Just go with it.
8
00:00:41,949 --> 00:00:45,451
♪ You're always asking
what it's all about ♪
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00:00:45,518 --> 00:00:47,188
Rooty-toot-toot!
10
00:00:47,254 --> 00:00:50,757
- Hey, Q.
- Hey!
11
00:00:50,825 --> 00:00:52,293
Hey, how's your sister doing?
12
00:00:52,358 --> 00:00:55,996
Wouldn't you like to know?
13
00:00:56,063 --> 00:00:58,132
I would. I really would.
14
00:00:58,199 --> 00:01:01,168
♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪
15
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:03,570
♪ The things you say ♪
16
00:01:03,636 --> 00:01:05,306
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
17
00:01:05,371 --> 00:01:06,472
Dad.
18
00:01:06,539 --> 00:01:07,774
Can I have permission to go
19
00:01:07,842 --> 00:01:09,310
to the Paula Abdul concert,
please?
20
00:01:09,375 --> 00:01:10,743
- Go, Sal, go.
- I know the rules, Dad.
21
00:01:10,811 --> 00:01:12,745
I will check in,
I will beep you, I'll call.
22
00:01:12,813 --> 00:01:14,514
Okay, rule number one,
we love each other.
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00:01:14,581 --> 00:01:15,883
Rule number two,
see rule number one.
24
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:17,284
Please get out of the house
and go.
25
00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:19,419
Okay. People smoke marijuana.
26
00:01:19,485 --> 00:01:20,753
Do the weed. Take a shot.
27
00:01:20,821 --> 00:01:22,655
Just get out of the house.
Please, go.
28
00:01:22,722 --> 00:01:23,423
Just go!
29
00:01:24,859 --> 00:01:27,760
Oh, hey, Q!
I'll be right there.
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00:01:30,730 --> 00:01:33,133
♪ The things you say ♪
31
00:01:34,802 --> 00:01:35,768
♪ Your purple prose
just gives you away ♪
32
00:01:35,836 --> 00:01:37,838
♪ The things you say ♪
33
00:01:37,905 --> 00:01:40,473
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
34
00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:42,076
♪ Oh! ♪
35
00:01:43,143 --> 00:01:45,145
Hey, fellas.
36
00:01:47,580 --> 00:01:49,582
'Sup?
My best friend, Sal.
37
00:01:49,649 --> 00:01:52,719
And there's Q too.
Hey, guys.
38
00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:57,557
♪ Whoa, man! ♪
39
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,095
♪ Seemingly lastless,
don't mean you can ask us ♪
40
00:02:01,161 --> 00:02:03,364
Oh-ho-ho!
41
00:02:03,429 --> 00:02:04,899
♪ Think of the fine times ♪
42
00:02:04,965 --> 00:02:05,866
Boys!
43
00:02:05,933 --> 00:02:07,334
- I have a question.
- Yeah?
44
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,369
Are you forever my girl?
45
00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:09,303
Straight up. Now, tell me.
46
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,637
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
47
00:02:10,703 --> 00:02:11,704
- That's right, watch it.
- Oh, come on, Joe.
48
00:02:11,771 --> 00:02:13,340
- Come on.
- Comin' in hot.
49
00:02:13,406 --> 00:02:15,376
All right, watch that...
watch that leather back there.
50
00:02:15,441 --> 00:02:17,111
You're the worst.
51
00:02:17,177 --> 00:02:19,712
♪ The things you say ♪
52
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:22,316
♪ You're unbelievable ♪
53
00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:23,951
Hey, Abdul.
54
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,485
Too bad
we don't have tickets.
55
00:02:25,551 --> 00:02:27,453
Tickets?
Tickets are for losers, dude.
56
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,621
I got a plan.
57
00:02:34,594 --> 00:02:36,562
- Who gets the small?
- Hey!
58
00:02:36,629 --> 00:02:38,498
- Really?
- Yeah, why not?
59
00:02:38,564 --> 00:02:41,068
Hmm. Well, who's ready
to party tonight?
60
00:02:41,135 --> 00:02:42,535
What are you doing?
61
00:02:42,602 --> 00:02:43,971
- I'm being hype man.
- He hyped you right there.
62
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,873
Joey's a great hype man,
and I know hype men.
63
00:02:45,940 --> 00:02:47,841
Yeah, throughout history,
there's been many a hype man.
64
00:02:47,908 --> 00:02:50,510
- Who?
- Thomas Edison had one.
65
00:02:50,576 --> 00:02:51,812
- Gandhi.
- Caesar.
66
00:02:51,879 --> 00:02:53,680
Okay, all right,
Caesar had a hype man.
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00:02:53,746 --> 00:02:54,915
You guys should look it up.
68
00:02:54,982 --> 00:02:57,084
Who was Caesar's
hype man, then?
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00:02:57,151 --> 00:02:58,085
Jeff.
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00:02:58,152 --> 00:02:59,353
I'm done.
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00:02:59,420 --> 00:03:00,387
I'm done with this.
I'm done...
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00:03:00,453 --> 00:03:01,554
- Can we go?
- Yeah.
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00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:08,999
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:13,434
- 'Scuse!
- On the left.
75
00:03:13,499 --> 00:03:15,102
- Excuse you. Excuse me.
- Up on the right.
76
00:03:15,169 --> 00:03:17,704
- You. Excuse you. Security.
- On the left.
77
00:03:17,770 --> 00:03:19,605
- Move.
- Move.
78
00:03:19,672 --> 00:03:21,541
- Security.
- Just watch it.
79
00:03:21,607 --> 00:03:22,776
Idiot.
80
00:03:22,843 --> 00:03:24,544
Hey, uh, who are you guys?
81
00:03:24,610 --> 00:03:27,214
Uh, high-level security.
82
00:03:51,438 --> 00:03:53,240
I'll allow it.
83
00:03:59,746 --> 00:04:01,448
What do we do now?
What do we do now?
84
00:04:01,514 --> 00:04:02,983
Whatever the hell we want.
85
00:04:04,550 --> 00:04:06,820
Move! Watch it.
Coming through.
86
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,890
The arena is ours.
87
00:04:09,957 --> 00:04:11,859
Wait, who is this?
Where's Larry?
88
00:04:15,229 --> 00:04:17,563
- Hit it!
- ♪ Nah, nah-nah-nah-nah ♪
89
00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:20,566
♪ Nah-nah-nah-nah,
nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah ♪
90
00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:22,469
Green room, fellas.
91
00:04:22,535 --> 00:04:24,905
Everything is free.
92
00:04:28,608 --> 00:04:30,010
How great is this?
93
00:04:30,077 --> 00:04:32,745
Oh.
94
00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:34,048
Hey, say hello to my dad.
95
00:04:34,114 --> 00:04:35,816
Hey, Daddy.
96
00:04:35,883 --> 00:04:37,717
No, it's my dad.
I don't call him Daddy.
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00:04:37,785 --> 00:04:39,652
Oh.
I'm sorry.
98
00:04:39,719 --> 00:04:41,221
You're security?
99
00:04:41,288 --> 00:04:42,622
Yeah, just... Please.
100
00:04:42,688 --> 00:04:44,958
Look at that zoom.
I can see your pores.
101
00:04:47,127 --> 00:04:48,862
Yuck.
102
00:04:51,198 --> 00:04:53,100
- What are you doing?
- Oh, me? Hypin'.
103
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:54,767
- Hypin' what?
- Eh, you know, the crudités.
104
00:04:54,835 --> 00:04:56,170
You're over here by yourself
shaking your head.
105
00:04:56,236 --> 00:04:58,539
I know, I'm just excited
for crudités, what?
106
00:04:58,604 --> 00:04:59,973
I was taping you
from across the room.
107
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,375
You look like a doo-wop dad.
108
00:05:01,442 --> 00:05:02,608
Hold on one second.
109
00:05:02,675 --> 00:05:04,078
Yo, Bubba Gump,
110
00:05:04,144 --> 00:05:06,180
Want to leave some shrimp
for the rest of us?
111
00:05:06,246 --> 00:05:07,247
Oh, my...
112
00:05:07,314 --> 00:05:08,681
- Oh, my God, sick reference!
- Classic.
113
00:05:08,748 --> 00:05:10,017
I just saw Forrest Gump
this week.
114
00:05:10,084 --> 00:05:11,684
Guys, Paula Abdul, 12:00.
115
00:05:14,455 --> 00:05:16,123
Check out the banana patrol.
116
00:05:19,059 --> 00:05:20,394
Was she just checking me out?
117
00:05:20,461 --> 00:05:21,627
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Right at you.
118
00:05:21,694 --> 00:05:23,263
- She was.
- Oh, you see that, right?
119
00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:24,932
You should probably
get her number.
120
00:05:24,998 --> 00:05:26,033
No.
121
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,434
Yeah, it'd be a shame
if you didn't.
122
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:28,469
You think she's into me
like that?
123
00:05:28,535 --> 00:05:29,702
- Yeah.
- You're right.
124
00:05:29,769 --> 00:05:31,238
I'm doin' it.
125
00:05:31,305 --> 00:05:32,638
I'm doin' it.
126
00:05:33,974 --> 00:05:36,877
- Down in flames.
- Roll tape.
127
00:05:36,944 --> 00:05:39,546
Such a doofus.
Look at him.
128
00:05:39,612 --> 00:05:40,881
You want my number?
129
00:05:40,948 --> 00:05:42,983
- No.
- Guys, guys.
130
00:05:43,050 --> 00:05:45,352
No, guys, it looks like he's
getting her number, I swear.
131
00:05:45,419 --> 00:05:49,223
I think he...
I think he got her number.
132
00:05:49,289 --> 00:05:51,058
Good call, fellas.
She was into me.
133
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:52,658
But she didn't finish
the phone number in time.
134
00:05:52,725 --> 00:05:54,928
She started to give you
her real number?
135
00:05:54,995 --> 00:05:56,196
This is a victory for us.
136
00:05:56,263 --> 00:05:58,298
- Great shit.
- I gotta be honest.
137
00:05:58,365 --> 00:05:59,600
I was breaking your shoes.
138
00:05:59,665 --> 00:06:00,868
I didn't think
you'd get her number.
139
00:06:00,934 --> 00:06:02,635
You just rose
to that challenge, okay?
140
00:06:02,702 --> 00:06:03,871
We told you to do something,
you did it.
141
00:06:03,937 --> 00:06:05,539
Okay, you didn't refuse.
You didn't lose.
142
00:06:05,606 --> 00:06:07,941
The ball bag on this guy.
143
00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:09,309
You ever seen a ball bag
like this?
144
00:06:09,376 --> 00:06:10,844
I've never seen a ball bag
like that, no.
145
00:06:10,911 --> 00:06:12,279
I've seen his ball bag.
146
00:06:12,346 --> 00:06:14,714
It's 10 pounds of ball bag
in a 5-pound sack.
147
00:06:14,781 --> 00:06:17,717
This whole time, there's been
two footprints in the sand.
148
00:06:17,784 --> 00:06:19,887
It's when your ball bag's
been carrying us.
149
00:06:19,953 --> 00:06:23,323
You don't just talk the talk,
you walk the walk. Okay?
150
00:06:23,390 --> 00:06:25,359
Who knows
where great ideas come from?
151
00:06:25,425 --> 00:06:27,660
A mixture of genius
and stupidity?
152
00:06:27,727 --> 00:06:29,963
A ball bag speech from Sal?
153
00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,598
I know it rarely happens,
154
00:06:31,664 --> 00:06:34,835
but that night,
scholars and historians agree
155
00:06:34,902 --> 00:06:37,070
the Impractical Jokers
were born.
156
00:06:37,137 --> 00:06:39,106
This is unbelievable, guys.
157
00:06:39,173 --> 00:06:41,175
Holy sh...
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00:06:41,241 --> 00:06:42,675
The crowd.
159
00:06:45,879 --> 00:06:46,813
♪ Hey, baby ♪
160
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,448
Oh, my God!
161
00:06:48,515 --> 00:06:50,716
♪ Gotta remember ♪
162
00:06:50,784 --> 00:06:53,686
♪ I'm forever your girl ♪
163
00:06:53,753 --> 00:06:55,856
♪ And baby, forever ♪
164
00:06:55,923 --> 00:06:57,690
♪ And ever and ever ♪
165
00:06:57,757 --> 00:06:58,992
You know I am.
166
00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:05,432
Backstage, baby!
167
00:07:16,243 --> 00:07:17,811
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
168
00:07:17,878 --> 00:07:19,913
That was the hottest thing
I've ever seen!
169
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:23,250
♪ Come on and look me
in the face ♪
170
00:07:26,220 --> 00:07:27,487
Where's Joe?
171
00:07:27,554 --> 00:07:28,956
♪ Is bringin' you down ♪
172
00:07:29,022 --> 00:07:31,124
♪ Why you down? ♪
173
00:07:31,191 --> 00:07:33,527
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah! Yeah!
174
00:07:33,594 --> 00:07:35,862
♪ That another boy ♪
175
00:07:35,929 --> 00:07:37,564
Get off my stage.
176
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:39,032
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Go, Joey, go!
177
00:07:39,099 --> 00:07:40,601
Yeah! We're gonna live forever!
178
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:41,902
I know!
179
00:07:41,969 --> 00:07:44,037
Pregnant ladies,
I can't hear y'all.
180
00:07:44,104 --> 00:07:46,273
Pregnant ladies, make noise.
181
00:07:48,842 --> 00:07:51,511
Helicopter.
182
00:07:51,578 --> 00:07:53,480
When I say ball, you say bag.
183
00:07:53,547 --> 00:07:54,915
Ball!
184
00:07:54,982 --> 00:07:56,383
He's hyped up
on the ball bag.
185
00:07:58,051 --> 00:07:59,786
Get him off the stage.
186
00:07:59,853 --> 00:08:00,921
Hype it up.
187
00:08:00,988 --> 00:08:03,323
We judged too soon.
He sucks.
188
00:08:05,959 --> 00:08:08,195
White people!
189
00:08:08,262 --> 00:08:09,396
Blacks!
190
00:08:10,964 --> 00:08:13,367
Where the Vietnamese at?
191
00:08:13,433 --> 00:08:15,669
- Yeah, there's one!
- Where's my security?
192
00:08:18,071 --> 00:08:20,107
This is mayhem.
193
00:08:20,173 --> 00:08:21,475
Ah! Son of a...
194
00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:23,377
- All right!
- They throwin' garbage?
195
00:08:23,443 --> 00:08:25,178
Staten Island garbage.
196
00:08:25,245 --> 00:08:27,214
- Guys! Guys!
- Look out, Joe!
197
00:08:27,281 --> 00:08:28,782
Breach! Breach!
Breach!
198
00:08:28,849 --> 00:08:30,284
Ah, these punks
are storming the stage.
199
00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:31,518
I'm getting the hell
out of here.
200
00:08:31,585 --> 00:08:32,786
No, no, no, no!
201
00:08:36,523 --> 00:08:38,225
Oh!
202
00:08:40,127 --> 00:08:41,662
I got clotheslined by Abdul.
203
00:08:41,728 --> 00:08:43,196
Oh, Sal!
204
00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:46,533
My beautiful boy.
205
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,568
She crushed my windpipe!
206
00:08:48,635 --> 00:08:49,803
You're okay.
Go, go!
207
00:08:49,870 --> 00:08:51,571
- Joey!
- Go.
208
00:08:51,638 --> 00:08:53,106
You guys are dead.
209
00:08:53,173 --> 00:08:54,474
Dead.
210
00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:57,844
One day, I'm gonna find you,
and I will destroy you!
211
00:09:02,516 --> 00:09:04,518
Can't believe we ruined
the Abdul concert.
212
00:09:06,019 --> 00:09:08,588
- Hi, Gina.
- Go, go, go.
213
00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:12,326
We've lost the arena!
We've lost the arena!
214
00:09:12,392 --> 00:09:15,762
Everything's fine.
Everything's fine.
215
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:24,705
Abdul assaulted me!
She's about 4'4", 40 pounds.
216
00:09:26,973 --> 00:09:29,443
Ah! Why are you doing
this to me?
217
00:09:29,509 --> 00:09:32,179
Come on!
Abdul's got some mouth on her.
218
00:09:40,654 --> 00:09:42,489
♪ So I'll tell you all
the story ♪
219
00:09:42,556 --> 00:09:44,925
♪ About the joker
and the thief in the night ♪
220
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,502
- Are we rolling?
- Okay, here we go.
221
00:09:55,569 --> 00:09:57,337
Once we clear this
camera, Sal, we're ready to go.
222
00:09:57,404 --> 00:09:58,739
It's only... Our close-up
keeps getting blocked.
223
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:01,341
Cameras. Cameras.
224
00:10:01,408 --> 00:10:03,043
We have to make sure
camera D stays that way.
225
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:04,478
Hold on, I got two...
I got three... In the ear,
226
00:10:04,544 --> 00:10:06,046
I had multiple people
at one time.
227
00:10:06,113 --> 00:10:08,148
Now he's clear.
228
00:10:08,215 --> 00:10:10,317
- So, Sal's just gonna be a horrible mall Santa.
- That's right.
229
00:10:10,384 --> 00:10:13,320
There's nothing more American
than a mall Santa.
230
00:10:13,387 --> 00:10:14,955
- That's right.
- Right? It's just classic.
231
00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:16,590
- Yeah.
- Well, in the winter.
232
00:10:16,656 --> 00:10:19,159
I will say this, Sal,
you have accepted the fact
233
00:10:19,226 --> 00:10:20,927
that we dressed you
as a mall Santa
234
00:10:20,994 --> 00:10:22,797
in the middle of summer
without complaint.
235
00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:25,165
It's about 100 degrees out.
236
00:10:25,232 --> 00:10:26,933
Oh, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna pass out.
237
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,668
Well, you're about to
ruin Christmas
238
00:10:28,735 --> 00:10:30,437
for a bunch of kids, Sal.
239
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,272
Okay, Sal, when this kid
approaches, this is easy,
240
00:10:32,339 --> 00:10:34,608
just yell, "No! No!"
241
00:10:34,674 --> 00:10:36,109
No! No!
242
00:10:36,176 --> 00:10:38,780
No.
243
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:40,113
So what do you want, Aiden?
244
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:41,648
Do you want a big toy
or a little toy?
245
00:10:41,715 --> 00:10:43,917
What would you like?
I'll get it for you right now.
246
00:10:43,984 --> 00:10:46,920
Lightning McQueen.
247
00:10:46,987 --> 00:10:48,088
- Sal, fall asleep.
- Fall asleep, Sal.
248
00:10:48,155 --> 00:10:49,523
Fall asleep, fall asleep.
249
00:10:53,059 --> 00:10:54,594
Santa?
250
00:10:54,661 --> 00:10:56,763
Sal's sleeping. Look at him.
251
00:10:56,831 --> 00:10:58,165
Look at the kid.
252
00:10:58,231 --> 00:11:00,667
- Sal fell asleep.
- The shot's insane, Sal.
253
00:11:02,002 --> 00:11:06,273
Sal, stay there.
254
00:11:06,339 --> 00:11:08,141
Head's... Head nod down
there more.
255
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:09,376
There you go.
256
00:11:09,443 --> 00:11:12,212
Big snores. Big...
257
00:11:12,279 --> 00:11:14,247
Ooh!
258
00:11:14,314 --> 00:11:16,316
- Start bouncing him.
- Oh.
259
00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:18,151
- "When'd you get here?"
- Higher, buddy, higher.
260
00:11:18,218 --> 00:11:19,821
Yeah!
261
00:11:22,489 --> 00:11:24,958
Oh, taking his leg off!
He's taking his leg off!
262
00:11:25,025 --> 00:11:26,726
He's so happy.
263
00:11:34,334 --> 00:11:36,336
Look at the...
264
00:11:37,404 --> 00:11:38,638
High five!
265
00:11:38,705 --> 00:11:40,106
Aww.
266
00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:43,543
This fake snow
can't be helping.
267
00:11:44,879 --> 00:11:47,080
Hello, darling. How are you?
268
00:11:47,147 --> 00:11:50,217
Come sit on Santa's lap.
269
00:11:50,283 --> 00:11:52,319
- And what is your name?
- Casey.
270
00:11:52,385 --> 00:11:54,688
Casey, I want you
to take a minute
271
00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:57,892
and think about what you might
want for Christmas this year.
272
00:11:57,959 --> 00:11:59,259
Just think about it
in your head.
273
00:11:59,326 --> 00:12:01,094
- Okay?
- Uh...
274
00:12:02,295 --> 00:12:03,597
"Don't talk to me
till I tell you."
275
00:12:03,663 --> 00:12:06,066
Now, don't talk
until I tell you, Casey.
276
00:12:06,132 --> 00:12:07,567
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
277
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:14,641
"Now, why aren't you saying anything to Santa?"
278
00:12:14,708 --> 00:12:16,777
I don't have all day, Casey.
Do you know what you want?
279
00:12:16,844 --> 00:12:18,044
- Yes.
- Okay.
280
00:12:18,111 --> 00:12:19,814
Don't speak
until I tell you, now.
281
00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:21,348
She's so cute.
282
00:12:21,414 --> 00:12:22,682
Whenever you're ready,
just tell me what you want.
283
00:12:22,749 --> 00:12:23,851
Keep flip-flopping.
284
00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:24,751
But don't talk
until I tell you.
285
00:12:26,419 --> 00:12:28,054
Okay? So whenever you're ready,
you tell me what you want.
286
00:12:28,121 --> 00:12:31,057
But please don't speak
until I tell you.
287
00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:32,359
- Whenever you're ready.
- Okay.
288
00:12:32,425 --> 00:12:34,227
Just don't speak until I say.
289
00:12:36,864 --> 00:12:38,131
Nice to meet you...
290
00:12:38,198 --> 00:12:39,432
So, Sal, how was that?
You're doing...
291
00:12:39,499 --> 00:12:40,835
You're being a very good
horrible Santa.
292
00:12:40,902 --> 00:12:43,470
Guys, this...
It's torture for us all.
293
00:12:43,537 --> 00:12:45,372
It's a torture for me,
it's a torture for you,
294
00:12:45,438 --> 00:12:47,040
it's a torture
for the children.
295
00:12:47,107 --> 00:12:48,776
- I'm having a blast back here.
- Yeah.
296
00:12:48,843 --> 00:12:50,677
I'm giggling with my friends.
It feels pretty good back here.
297
00:12:50,744 --> 00:12:53,179
There's no less than 40
strands of hair in my mouth.
298
00:12:53,246 --> 00:12:54,714
Oh, it's getting
worse, Sal.
299
00:12:54,782 --> 00:12:58,652
Oh!
300
00:13:06,928 --> 00:13:10,230
Jingle, jingle.
301
00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:13,166
- Oh.
- I've had enough.
302
00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:14,100
I'm pulling the plug
on this whole thing.
303
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:15,368
Let's get out of here.
304
00:13:15,435 --> 00:13:17,805
- That's a cut.
- Nice work.
305
00:13:36,389 --> 00:13:37,892
Where's the
Cheddar Bay Biscuits?
306
00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:39,426
I ordered a whole another
basket, like, ten minutes ago.
307
00:13:39,492 --> 00:13:40,995
- You already had six.
- So what?
308
00:13:41,062 --> 00:13:42,762
- You're cut off.
- You can't be cut off.
309
00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:44,631
It's unlimited, it's the
whole point of Red Lobster.
310
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,099
Guys. Guys.
311
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,904
- Is that Abdul?
- Kareem?
312
00:13:49,971 --> 00:13:51,571
No. Can't be.
313
00:13:51,638 --> 00:13:53,707
- That's Abdul. That's her.
- That's her.
314
00:13:53,773 --> 00:13:55,609
- Oh, my God.
- It is Abdul.
315
00:13:55,675 --> 00:13:57,945
I know Abdul when I see it.
It's her! I'm scared right now.
316
00:13:58,012 --> 00:14:00,280
My windpipe is still sore
from when she hit me.
317
00:14:00,347 --> 00:14:01,514
Yeah, she straight jacked you.
318
00:14:01,581 --> 00:14:03,084
She's gonna remember
that night.
319
00:14:03,149 --> 00:14:04,351
Oh, she's coming over here,
so it's curtains for us,
320
00:14:04,417 --> 00:14:05,652
essentially, it's what it is.
321
00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,520
- I gotta get out of here.
- No, no! Sit...
322
00:14:07,587 --> 00:14:08,321
Sit down.
323
00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:09,723
This is our Red Lobster.
324
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:11,257
I've been training for this
for 20 years.
325
00:14:11,324 --> 00:14:13,526
Nobody touches you again.
Not on my watch.
326
00:14:13,593 --> 00:14:15,029
- Okay, thank you.
- No, yeah.
327
00:14:15,096 --> 00:14:16,563
- Just sit down.
- She's coming right over here.
328
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,164
- Act casual.
- She's looking right at us.
329
00:14:18,231 --> 00:14:19,265
- Act casual.
- She's looking...
330
00:14:19,332 --> 00:14:21,134
Smile. Act natural.
331
00:14:21,201 --> 00:14:22,602
Smile. Smile.
332
00:14:24,204 --> 00:14:25,472
All right.
333
00:14:28,776 --> 00:14:30,176
Fifteen feet.
334
00:14:30,243 --> 00:14:31,745
Ten feet.
335
00:14:31,812 --> 00:14:32,913
Five feet.
336
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:33,981
Abdul.
337
00:14:34,048 --> 00:14:35,348
You're the Impractical Jokers.
338
00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:37,317
- Yeah.
- For real?
339
00:14:37,384 --> 00:14:39,352
- Yeah.
- Holy shit.
340
00:14:39,419 --> 00:14:42,288
- Okay.
- I love you guys.
341
00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:45,158
Oh, no joke, man.
I've watched every season.
342
00:14:45,225 --> 00:14:47,360
Well, except for season five.
343
00:14:47,427 --> 00:14:48,461
Yeah, I don't want
to get into it.
344
00:14:48,528 --> 00:14:49,997
All right, well, thank you.
345
00:14:50,064 --> 00:14:52,332
By any chance, you guys
gonna be in Miami next week?
346
00:14:52,399 --> 00:14:54,300
- Yeah.
- I'm having this huge party.
347
00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:56,236
You guys can come.
You can hang one night.
348
00:14:56,302 --> 00:14:57,972
You can hang the weekend.
Go hang out.
349
00:14:58,039 --> 00:14:59,272
- Oh, my God.
- What?
350
00:14:59,339 --> 00:15:00,640
You kidding me?
351
00:15:00,707 --> 00:15:02,109
Yeah, we'll be there.
We were gonna go...
352
00:15:02,175 --> 00:15:03,543
- We were going anyway.
- Yeah! Yeah!
353
00:15:03,610 --> 00:15:05,245
Yes!
354
00:15:05,311 --> 00:15:07,681
Sam? Hook 'em up.
355
00:15:11,384 --> 00:15:14,421
- Season five was atrocious.
- Mmm.
356
00:15:14,487 --> 00:15:16,256
So I'll see you in Miami?
357
00:15:16,322 --> 00:15:17,257
Yes!
Yeah, I'll see you there.
358
00:15:17,323 --> 00:15:18,859
This is crazy.
359
00:15:18,926 --> 00:15:20,460
Yeah, that's right.
We are so in Miami.
360
00:15:20,527 --> 00:15:21,896
- We'll see you there.
- All right.
361
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,230
- Miami, here we come.
- All right.
362
00:15:24,297 --> 00:15:25,598
We're not really going
to Miami, are we?
363
00:15:25,665 --> 00:15:26,766
- Of course we're going to Miami.
- No.
364
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,401
That night
was a disaster. Okay?
365
00:15:28,468 --> 00:15:30,537
We have a chance here
for a do-over.
366
00:15:30,603 --> 00:15:33,440
I don't need a do-over.
I'm the victim, okay?
367
00:15:33,506 --> 00:15:34,875
She punched me in the throat.
368
00:15:34,942 --> 00:15:36,743
Guys, this isn't even
a discussion, okay?
369
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,412
Abdul is here in the Lobster,
she invites us to the party,
370
00:15:39,479 --> 00:15:40,981
we go to the party.
371
00:15:41,048 --> 00:15:43,249
We turn back the clock.
We put that disaster to bed.
372
00:15:43,316 --> 00:15:44,785
Oh, yeah.
We're going, and this time,
373
00:15:44,852 --> 00:15:46,887
we're gonna prove that
we're not gonna screw it up.
374
00:15:46,954 --> 00:15:48,889
That's right.
With a little bit of hype.
375
00:15:48,956 --> 00:15:50,457
- Mmm.
- No hype.
376
00:15:50,523 --> 00:15:52,126
- A little bit.
- Mmm. No.
377
00:15:52,193 --> 00:15:53,393
All right,
the appropriate amount.
378
00:15:53,460 --> 00:15:54,862
Hmm, no. Less.
379
00:15:54,929 --> 00:15:56,964
Do this. That.
380
00:15:57,031 --> 00:15:59,232
Oh, I'm bringing this much,
and if we use it, we use it.
381
00:15:59,299 --> 00:16:01,334
Oh, my God, there's only three.
382
00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:02,602
There's only three laminates.
383
00:16:02,669 --> 00:16:04,370
Perfect. I'm out. God's plan.
384
00:16:04,437 --> 00:16:05,840
No, no, no.
What are you talking about?
385
00:16:05,906 --> 00:16:08,274
We'll settle this the way
we do every big decision
386
00:16:08,341 --> 00:16:09,910
in our life, okay?
387
00:16:09,977 --> 00:16:11,544
The four of us will compete
in hidden camera challenges
388
00:16:11,611 --> 00:16:12,947
on the way down to Miami,
389
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:15,415
and the loser does not
go to that party.
390
00:16:18,518 --> 00:16:20,054
- Road trip, guys!
- Let's do it.
391
00:16:20,121 --> 00:16:21,254
Let's just get in the car
and do it.
392
00:16:21,321 --> 00:16:22,489
- Road trip, baby.
- Yeah!
393
00:16:22,555 --> 00:16:24,158
Guys, I have the perfect car.
394
00:16:24,225 --> 00:16:25,960
- You guys are gonna love this.
- Oh, thank God, yes.
395
00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:28,628
Every part of my body
is rejecting this plan.
396
00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:29,763
Who pays the bill, by the way?
397
00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:32,133
I pay the bill? I pay the bill?
398
00:16:43,676 --> 00:16:44,544
Huh?
399
00:16:45,512 --> 00:16:47,014
- Shotgun.
- What? No!
400
00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:48,615
Yeah, I saw it, and I said it.
401
00:16:48,681 --> 00:16:49,950
- That's not even right.
- Yeah, that's the rule.
402
00:16:50,017 --> 00:16:51,351
I get carsick.
I can't sit back there.
403
00:16:51,417 --> 00:16:52,619
Your carsick is not my problem.
404
00:16:52,685 --> 00:16:53,888
- No.
- Will you guys...
405
00:16:53,954 --> 00:16:54,989
Please, please,
can you veto this?
406
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,090
I will vomit everywhere.
407
00:16:56,157 --> 00:16:57,323
Veto it? Why would I veto that?
408
00:16:57,390 --> 00:16:58,758
It's the rules of shotgun.
409
00:16:58,826 --> 00:17:00,460
You see the car, you say,
"Shotgun," you sit there.
410
00:17:00,527 --> 00:17:02,295
Joe gets shotgun
'cause he respects the leather.
411
00:17:02,362 --> 00:17:03,463
- Thank you, sir.
- Hey, what...
412
00:17:03,530 --> 00:17:05,032
Whatever gave you
the impression
413
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:06,733
- I didn't respect it?
- You scuffed the leather, man.
414
00:17:06,801 --> 00:17:09,569
That's like punching
Grandma Lucia in her face.
415
00:17:09,636 --> 00:17:11,038
She killed herself
in the back left seat, right?
416
00:17:11,105 --> 00:17:13,439
Why don't we all get off
our high horses here?
417
00:17:13,506 --> 00:17:14,707
All right, it's not
that great of a car.
418
00:17:14,774 --> 00:17:16,442
- It's not a Corvette.
- No, I know.
419
00:17:16,509 --> 00:17:18,045
It's a Crown Vic.
I know what this car is.
420
00:17:18,112 --> 00:17:19,880
I mean, it's the vehicular
equivalent of Baltic Avenue.
421
00:17:19,947 --> 00:17:20,981
Baltic Avenue?
422
00:17:21,048 --> 00:17:22,582
What are you,
going Monopoly on me?
423
00:17:22,649 --> 00:17:24,617
You're the thimble.
Yeah, and do not pass go.
424
00:17:24,684 --> 00:17:26,686
You go directly
to the back seat, buddy.
425
00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:28,755
I feel like
I'm being sandbagged.
426
00:17:28,823 --> 00:17:30,623
Question, should I take
a quick shit here or should I...
427
00:17:30,690 --> 00:17:32,559
- Would you guys just get in the car already?
- Okay.
428
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,728
♪ Hey, baby ♪
429
00:17:35,796 --> 00:17:38,032
♪ You gotta remember ♪
430
00:17:39,332 --> 00:17:41,334
- The trip it is.
- Whoo-hoo!
431
00:17:41,401 --> 00:17:42,937
- Yeah!
- Oh, you know what?
432
00:17:45,005 --> 00:17:46,974
- Ho!
- Oh!
433
00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,641
Stacy!
434
00:17:48,708 --> 00:17:50,543
Yo, baby, all right.
435
00:17:50,610 --> 00:17:52,213
- Now we're ready.
- Now we're ready.
436
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,114
- Let's do this.
- Let's go!
437
00:17:54,181 --> 00:17:58,618
♪ Come on
And look me in the face ♪
438
00:17:58,685 --> 00:18:01,822
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
439
00:18:01,889 --> 00:18:04,490
♪ Is bringing you down ♪
440
00:18:04,557 --> 00:18:06,093
♪ Bringing you down ♪
441
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:10,831
♪ Is it the rumor
That another girl ♪
442
00:18:10,898 --> 00:18:13,666
♪ Wants to take your place ♪
443
00:18:13,733 --> 00:18:15,635
♪ I think
She's after your heart ♪
444
00:18:15,702 --> 00:18:18,239
♪ Well, I've been hearing
The stories ♪
445
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,640
♪ They're going around ♪
446
00:18:20,707 --> 00:18:22,642
♪ All of my friends are taken ♪
447
00:18:22,709 --> 00:18:24,477
♪ Hey, baby ♪
448
00:18:26,947 --> 00:18:27,982
Oh, son!
449
00:18:28,048 --> 00:18:29,549
- If they have a...
- I think I have one.
450
00:18:29,616 --> 00:18:31,018
- What's up, bro?
- Welcome.
451
00:18:31,085 --> 00:18:33,386
- Grizzly Adams.
- Oh, we should play Megaballs.
452
00:18:33,453 --> 00:18:35,289
- Who?
- Oh, you got that Megaballs?
453
00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:36,824
What?
454
00:18:36,891 --> 00:18:39,159
Talk to me about your
collection of jazz, smooth.
455
00:18:39,226 --> 00:18:40,995
I don't know, man,
there's, like, two aisles.
456
00:18:41,061 --> 00:18:43,463
- Which one?
- Dude, I just work here.
457
00:18:43,529 --> 00:18:44,899
That's why I'm asking you.
458
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,835
- Oh.
- Ooh.
459
00:18:50,536 --> 00:18:52,039
- Let me ask you guys something.
- Hmm?
460
00:18:52,106 --> 00:18:53,874
You guys ever wonder
what Murray gets up to
461
00:18:53,941 --> 00:18:55,943
- when we're not with him?
- I would love to know.
462
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,477
We've been friends with him
my whole life.
463
00:18:57,543 --> 00:18:59,146
I go to sleep
wondering what he does.
464
00:18:59,213 --> 00:19:01,081
- Hmm.
- I got ideas.
465
00:19:01,148 --> 00:19:02,216
- Yeah?
- Tell me.
466
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:03,549
- He traveled a lot.
- Yeah.
467
00:19:03,616 --> 00:19:05,451
That time he went
on that tour with Yanni
468
00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:07,087
in South America.
469
00:19:07,154 --> 00:19:08,688
The Rainbows to Rainforest
Tour, I remember that.
470
00:19:08,755 --> 00:19:10,291
Yeah, but he kept
using air quotes with that.
471
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:11,658
- He did that with you?
- Yeah,
472
00:19:11,724 --> 00:19:14,028
like, "If you need me,
I'll be with Yanni
473
00:19:14,094 --> 00:19:15,362
in South America."
474
00:19:15,461 --> 00:19:16,763
Now, what does that mean?
475
00:19:16,830 --> 00:19:18,966
Every part of that sentence
is a fallacy?
476
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:21,534
"I-I'll be unavailable."
477
00:19:21,601 --> 00:19:22,836
- Whoa.
- What is that?
478
00:19:22,903 --> 00:19:24,405
It's air quotes.
We're all doing it.
479
00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:25,873
- No, no, no. What's that?
- Unavailable. It's air quotes.
480
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:27,374
You're not calling
four people over,
481
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:28,441
you gotta flip that
and reverse it.
482
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:29,676
Oh, all right, Missy Elliott.
483
00:19:29,742 --> 00:19:30,978
- I wasn't sure. Got it.
- Fellas?
484
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,445
- Yo?
- Got it.
485
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,884
Right? For the road.
For the road?
486
00:19:36,951 --> 00:19:37,952
Right?
487
00:19:39,686 --> 00:19:40,687
I don't need him.
488
00:19:54,567 --> 00:19:56,103
DC, baby.
489
00:19:58,771 --> 00:20:00,240
So today,
we're stopping people
490
00:20:00,307 --> 00:20:01,708
and telling them
we gotta speak at a memorial.
491
00:20:01,774 --> 00:20:03,576
The only thing is that
we've written...
492
00:20:03,643 --> 00:20:05,112
- Each other's.
- Each other's eulogies.
493
00:20:05,179 --> 00:20:06,612
So, at the end,
we'll have to ask them,
494
00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:08,115
"Do you think it's fit to say?"
495
00:20:08,182 --> 00:20:11,118
And if they say no, we lose.
If they say yes, we win.
496
00:20:11,185 --> 00:20:12,987
It's a sad day.
497
00:20:14,455 --> 00:20:17,825
This just shows you
how fleeting life is, guys.
498
00:20:17,891 --> 00:20:19,026
How about this old guy?
499
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,561
You got the right idea.
500
00:20:21,627 --> 00:20:23,464
- Ooh, too many steps.
- Can't handle it.
501
00:20:23,529 --> 00:20:24,999
You just, you guys
are in town just visiting
502
00:20:25,065 --> 00:20:26,699
- for the tours, the sights?
- Yeah.
503
00:20:26,766 --> 00:20:28,135
Look at the urn.
504
00:20:28,202 --> 00:20:29,837
I'm in town, unfortunately,
for sad reasons.
505
00:20:29,903 --> 00:20:31,637
- Got a, um...
- Bucket of ashes right here.
506
00:20:31,704 --> 00:20:33,173
- I'm giving the eulogy.
- Oh.
507
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,674
Yeah, at a funeral.
508
00:20:34,741 --> 00:20:36,642
He got a great mark.
This guy's so into the idea.
509
00:20:36,709 --> 00:20:39,046
We're doing the thing by the water
and spreading the ashes, you know.
510
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,447
Oh, yeah.
511
00:20:40,513 --> 00:20:42,282
., 00:20:43,951
Is that why people come
to the reflection pool, though?
513
00:20:44,018 --> 00:20:45,651
I'm pretty sure you're not
allowed to even do that.
514
00:20:45,718 --> 00:20:46,887
Can I run the eulogy by you?
It takes one second.
515
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,088
It's only
a couple sentences long.
516
00:20:48,155 --> 00:20:50,257
You're very brave
for doing that.
517
00:20:50,324 --> 00:20:51,624
Here's the eulogy I wrote.
518
00:20:51,691 --> 00:20:53,427
"Grandma."
519
00:20:53,494 --> 00:20:54,727
"Grandma was...
520
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:56,629
Grandma was
a straight up bitch."
521
00:20:58,598 --> 00:21:00,801
"You know it, Grandpa.
We all know it.
522
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,069
And now she's dead
523
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,971
and we've got
her goddamn money.
524
00:21:04,038 --> 00:21:05,738
Let's go to China Buffet
to celebrate
525
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:07,374
this bitch's
one-way ticket to hell."
526
00:21:07,441 --> 00:21:08,674
Wow.
527
00:21:08,741 --> 00:21:09,877
What do you think?
Is it ready to go?
528
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,881
I don't know what other
people would think about that.
529
00:21:13,947 --> 00:21:15,449
We all felt this way
about Grandma.
530
00:21:15,516 --> 00:21:16,483
- Oh.
- We all did.
531
00:21:16,549 --> 00:21:18,185
Including Grandpa.
532
00:21:18,252 --> 00:21:19,486
So you think I should just read
this or should I change it?
533
00:21:19,552 --> 00:21:20,921
I don't... I wouldn't.
534
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,189
- You wouldn't read it?
- No.
535
00:21:22,256 --> 00:21:24,491
Oh!
536
00:21:24,557 --> 00:21:25,492
I'm not good
with public speaking.
537
00:21:25,558 --> 00:21:26,659
Forget the urn. Walk away.
538
00:21:26,726 --> 00:21:28,028
All right.
Well, take care, sir.
539
00:21:28,095 --> 00:21:29,762
- Have a great vacation. Enjoy.
- Yeah.
540
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:31,432
- Take care, now.
- You bet.
541
00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:32,499
What do you want with this?
542
00:21:35,402 --> 00:21:36,736
Sir?
543
00:21:47,448 --> 00:21:49,083
Guys, can I ask you a question?
544
00:21:49,149 --> 00:21:50,184
Here we go.
545
00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:51,819
It's just a few words.
I'm very nervous.
546
00:21:51,885 --> 00:21:53,487
Can I read it to you
just to say it out loud
547
00:21:53,554 --> 00:21:55,022
- and tell me if you like it?
- Sure.
548
00:21:55,089 --> 00:21:56,656
I'm so nervous.
The family's meeting me. Yeah.
549
00:21:56,722 --> 00:21:59,460
Okay, uh,
"Thank you all for coming
550
00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:02,796
to the spreading of the ashes
of Joey Dumps."
551
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,131
- Joey Dumps.
- Joey Dumps.
552
00:22:04,198 --> 00:22:05,899
"What could be said
about Joey Dumps?
553
00:22:05,966 --> 00:22:07,434
He took his lumps."
554
00:22:09,103 --> 00:22:10,471
"Joey Dumps was there for me.
555
00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:12,072
He let me see those dumps.
556
00:22:12,139 --> 00:22:13,974
Dumps-da-dumps-dumps-dumps."
557
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,209
"When you were down
in the dumps,
558
00:22:15,275 --> 00:22:16,944
who was there for you...
Joey Dumps.
559
00:22:17,010 --> 00:22:18,412
Dumps like a truck,
truck, truck."
560
00:22:19,847 --> 00:22:21,849
"Guys like a what, what, what.
561
00:22:21,915 --> 00:22:25,586
So to honor his last wish,
we now dump Dumps' ashes,
562
00:22:25,651 --> 00:22:27,454
and then go listen
to the final episode
563
00:22:27,521 --> 00:22:29,289
of his baseball-themed
podcast,
564
00:22:29,356 --> 00:22:32,359
'Joey Dumps Humps Chump Umps
in the Rumps.'"
565
00:22:34,328 --> 00:22:36,864
- It's so Joey Dumps.
- It's very Joey Dumps.
566
00:22:36,930 --> 00:22:38,631
- Do you think it...
- It's very funny.
567
00:22:38,698 --> 00:22:40,801
- Should I change anything?
- No.
568
00:22:40,868 --> 00:22:42,369
- No? Ah.
- Oh!
569
00:22:42,436 --> 00:22:44,770
- It's a great memorial.
- Thank you very much.
570
00:22:44,838 --> 00:22:46,607
- I appreciate you guys.
- Thank you. Good luck.
571
00:22:46,672 --> 00:22:48,475
- Thank you.
- He was a big Sisqó fan.
572
00:22:48,542 --> 00:22:49,910
Wow. Ready to go.
573
00:22:49,977 --> 00:22:52,513
- Good job with that, Sal.
- Sal with a W.
574
00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:53,746
My eulogy game, I crush.
575
00:22:53,814 --> 00:22:54,948
I give a good eulogy.
576
00:22:58,318 --> 00:22:59,486
You guys ready?
577
00:22:59,553 --> 00:23:01,088
Yeah, the cameras
aren't on, but...
578
00:23:01,155 --> 00:23:02,222
How we doing?
Cameras aren't ready yet?
579
00:23:02,289 --> 00:23:03,857
Guys, the secret is to...
580
00:23:05,225 --> 00:23:08,462
pique interest,
pique the curiosity of people.
581
00:23:08,529 --> 00:23:10,531
Could you just hold this up,
and I'm just gonna...
582
00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:12,266
Yeah, just hold that up,
yeah, like that, it's perfect.
583
00:23:13,934 --> 00:23:15,802
They're holding ashes.
584
00:23:15,869 --> 00:23:17,104
There we go. That's great.
585
00:23:17,171 --> 00:23:18,704
- Yeah, I'm here for a memorial.
- Oh.
586
00:23:18,771 --> 00:23:21,942
So I'm about to give
a eulogy, um, about this.
587
00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:23,610
So I'm just getting prepared.
588
00:23:23,676 --> 00:23:25,312
You mind if I just say it out
loud to you guys real quick?
589
00:23:25,379 --> 00:23:27,414
- Sure. Go on.
- Yeah. Hold her. Thanks.
590
00:23:27,481 --> 00:23:28,582
Okay.
591
00:23:28,649 --> 00:23:29,616
Sometimes he makes it
look easy.
592
00:23:29,682 --> 00:23:31,717
"This that eulogy. You know.
593
00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:33,620
You know what it is,
gang, gang.
594
00:23:33,686 --> 00:23:35,656
Devin died. He got got."
595
00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:38,392
"He got shot. He loved life.
596
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:39,826
He loved wife, my wife.
597
00:23:39,893 --> 00:23:42,129
I shot that mother.
Eleven shots in the leg."
598
00:23:42,196 --> 00:23:43,830
- In the leg?
- "I ain't supposed to be here,
599
00:23:43,897 --> 00:23:45,666
but y'all know what?
Y'all can scratch.
600
00:23:45,731 --> 00:23:47,534
I came here
to see him put down
601
00:23:47,601 --> 00:23:48,635
- and piss on the grave."
- Oh!
602
00:23:50,703 --> 00:23:53,340
That's when I would take...
Expose myself and start peeing.
603
00:23:53,407 --> 00:23:55,075
- "Expose myself and..."
- And then remember
604
00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,010
to drink a lot of water prior,
as a note to myself.
605
00:23:57,077 --> 00:23:59,546
And then escape out
the southeast exit...
606
00:23:59,613 --> 00:24:00,948
- Escape.
- Of the cemetery.
607
00:24:01,014 --> 00:24:02,382
And it's a right on red.
608
00:24:03,584 --> 00:24:04,885
So that's how I would do that.
609
00:24:04,952 --> 00:24:06,787
- Way too extreme.
- Is it too extreme?
610
00:24:06,853 --> 00:24:09,323
Oh!
611
00:24:09,389 --> 00:24:10,557
Yes!
612
00:24:10,624 --> 00:24:12,025
I should probably just say
he was a good guy.
613
00:24:12,092 --> 00:24:13,527
Yeah, just probably...
Yeah, yeah.
614
00:24:13,594 --> 00:24:14,628
I think that's all.
That's why you're MC, yeah.
615
00:24:14,695 --> 00:24:15,761
So not good to go, then.
616
00:24:22,536 --> 00:24:24,938
Here goes Q. He looks good.
He's all cleaned up.
617
00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:26,340
- Q always looks good.
- Take a picture?
618
00:24:26,406 --> 00:24:29,776
- Yeah, no problem.
- Here you go, Q, you're in.
619
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:31,378
Got it. There you go.
Thank you.
620
00:24:31,445 --> 00:24:34,348
Thanks, I'm, uh, doing
a eulogy, actually.
621
00:24:34,414 --> 00:24:36,749
We're supposed to dump
the ashes in here,
622
00:24:36,817 --> 00:24:38,218
but it turns out
you're not allowed to.
623
00:24:38,285 --> 00:24:39,720
Do you mind if I run
the speech by you?
624
00:24:39,786 --> 00:24:41,722
'Cause I'm super nervous.
It's super short.
625
00:24:41,788 --> 00:24:43,890
"What to say
about Cousin Frieda?
626
00:24:44,891 --> 00:24:46,293
Sure, she had loose morals
627
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,929
and a libido that wouldn't
quit, and that's..."
628
00:24:49,730 --> 00:24:50,797
- How old are you?
- 13.
629
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:53,000
13? All right, cool.
630
00:24:53,066 --> 00:24:55,636
I'm good.
631
00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:57,971
That's it. You're out.
632
00:24:58,038 --> 00:25:01,174
It's all about how she died
'cause of STDs.
633
00:25:12,686 --> 00:25:14,221
- Gettin' up.
- Ready to go.
634
00:25:25,499 --> 00:25:27,834
- Can you guys humor me?
- Always.
635
00:25:29,069 --> 00:25:30,637
Can we find a cave?
636
00:25:32,939 --> 00:25:34,141
Don't ask.
637
00:25:34,207 --> 00:25:36,476
- Wait, it depends, for who.
- You.
638
00:25:39,146 --> 00:25:43,150
This, I mean, this idea
basically was a layup for us.
639
00:25:43,216 --> 00:25:44,951
Just how do we make
Joe's stupid face
640
00:25:45,018 --> 00:25:46,219
look even more stupid?
641
00:25:46,286 --> 00:25:49,756
The conceit here
is Joe lost his tour
642
00:25:49,823 --> 00:25:51,725
about three decades ago.
643
00:25:51,793 --> 00:25:54,261
And he's been living
under the earth ever since.
644
00:25:54,328 --> 00:25:57,164
Middle of the summer,
when it's 110 degrees outside,
645
00:25:57,230 --> 00:25:59,032
this is the place to be,
I'll tell you that.
646
00:25:59,099 --> 00:26:00,901
When you guys see Joe
for the first time,
647
00:26:00,967 --> 00:26:02,469
that's the first time
we're seeing Joe.
648
00:26:02,536 --> 00:26:03,704
I can't wait for this.
649
00:26:03,770 --> 00:26:04,806
So as we're coming
through here,
650
00:26:04,871 --> 00:26:06,206
kind of look along the ceiling.
651
00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:07,974
We got lots
of these little divots.
652
00:26:08,041 --> 00:26:09,943
Here we go.
653
00:26:10,010 --> 00:26:11,511
You'll notice these cracks.
654
00:26:11,578 --> 00:26:14,381
That's the water movement
when all this was underwater.
655
00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:15,582
Hello?
656
00:26:15,649 --> 00:26:17,150
- Oh.
- Oh.
657
00:26:17,217 --> 00:26:20,120
- Yo.
- Oh, hey, man.
658
00:26:20,187 --> 00:26:21,521
Oh.
659
00:26:21,588 --> 00:26:24,958
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. What's up?
660
00:26:26,893 --> 00:26:29,262
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
661
00:26:30,731 --> 00:26:33,667
Look at their faces.
They're shocked.
662
00:26:33,734 --> 00:26:35,936
Oh, my God. For real, though?
663
00:26:36,002 --> 00:26:37,704
That's freakin' me out.
664
00:26:37,771 --> 00:26:38,905
It's freakin' you out?
665
00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:40,140
Imagine what this is like
for me.
666
00:26:40,207 --> 00:26:41,408
You all right, dude?
667
00:26:41,475 --> 00:26:42,642
No, I've been
to too many movies.
668
00:26:42,709 --> 00:26:43,778
Oh, he's gross.
669
00:26:43,845 --> 00:26:45,813
I got lost
a little while ago.
670
00:26:45,879 --> 00:26:47,080
Hey.
671
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:48,382
I didn't think he was...
I didn't think
672
00:26:48,448 --> 00:26:49,983
he was gonna come out
of this cave.
673
00:26:50,050 --> 00:26:52,619
I was waiting for my parents.
674
00:26:52,686 --> 00:26:54,321
I've been down here since 1987.
675
00:26:56,123 --> 00:26:57,557
Dad said,
"Don't have a cow, man.
676
00:26:57,624 --> 00:26:58,658
Talk to the hand."
677
00:26:58,725 --> 00:27:00,994
And I was here...
678
00:27:01,061 --> 00:27:02,562
I got all turned around.
679
00:27:02,629 --> 00:27:05,031
What happened was I was looking
for the gift shop...
680
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:07,367
It's on down the left.
681
00:27:08,969 --> 00:27:10,937
I went on my ass
to the left here...
682
00:27:11,004 --> 00:27:12,305
I like your shirt.
683
00:27:12,372 --> 00:27:14,408
I'm the beef.
684
00:27:14,474 --> 00:27:16,676
Joe, be proud
of your "I'm the Beef" shirt.
685
00:27:16,743 --> 00:27:18,780
- Back of...
- I'm the beef.
686
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:21,181
I'm the beef.
687
00:27:21,248 --> 00:27:22,416
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
688
00:27:22,482 --> 00:27:24,084
- I'll just fold in.
- Oh, okay.
689
00:27:24,151 --> 00:27:26,153
Well, the water...
690
00:27:26,219 --> 00:27:27,721
Again, the water
that moves through it,
691
00:27:27,789 --> 00:27:29,456
that just opens up the cave.
692
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:31,725
So this water,
usually, with the rain,
693
00:27:31,793 --> 00:27:32,959
will come up over that way.
694
00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:34,194
Y'all have any questions?
695
00:27:34,261 --> 00:27:35,228
I have...
I have a lot of questions.
696
00:27:35,295 --> 00:27:37,431
Uh, yeah. Go ahead.
697
00:27:37,497 --> 00:27:39,733
Let's start
with what year is it?
698
00:27:39,801 --> 00:27:42,269
- It's 2018, sir.
- Okay.
699
00:27:42,335 --> 00:27:45,439
Let me check my pager.
700
00:27:45,505 --> 00:27:47,909
Joe, have them fall in line
and walk in front of them
701
00:27:47,974 --> 00:27:49,409
- like you're a sergeant.
- Why don't you...
702
00:27:49,476 --> 00:27:51,211
Why don't you let me
just tell everybody?
703
00:27:51,278 --> 00:27:52,379
- You're pissed at everybody.
- This water comes every...
704
00:27:52,446 --> 00:27:53,713
Come on, Neil.
705
00:27:55,015 --> 00:27:56,349
This is what happened.
706
00:27:56,416 --> 00:27:58,018
You go up this ravine
and it's a dead end.
707
00:27:58,084 --> 00:28:01,721
- Goes up, like, 200 feet.
- 350 feet, Neil.
708
00:28:01,789 --> 00:28:04,257
Goes to 350 feet, okay?
709
00:28:04,324 --> 00:28:05,525
I mean, if you're gonna
talk out your ass,
710
00:28:05,592 --> 00:28:07,027
turn around
so I can understand you.
711
00:28:10,464 --> 00:28:12,332
Anybody know who shot J.R.?
712
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:14,034
Do you guys know who shot J.R.?
713
00:28:16,336 --> 00:28:18,672
'Cause I missed...
J.R. from Dallas.
714
00:28:18,738 --> 00:28:19,907
I missed that.
715
00:28:19,973 --> 00:28:21,675
It's been on my mind
for so long.
716
00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:24,744
- Dad?
- Dad? What?
717
00:28:24,812 --> 00:28:26,746
I didn't say shit.
718
00:28:29,049 --> 00:28:30,952
You guys,
follow me out of here.
719
00:28:31,017 --> 00:28:32,152
I'm dying to get outside.
720
00:28:32,219 --> 00:28:33,453
Did Mondale get a second term?
721
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,355
Did Mondale get a second term?
722
00:28:38,225 --> 00:28:41,328
Uh, okay, we're still
rolling here, guys.
723
00:28:42,762 --> 00:28:45,632
You fucking son of a bitch.
Oh, my God.
724
00:28:45,699 --> 00:28:48,068
Oh, my God.
It scared the shit out of me.
725
00:28:48,134 --> 00:28:49,636
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!
726
00:28:58,378 --> 00:29:00,046
Turn up the tension.
Pedal, pedal.
727
00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:01,414
- Hey, bud, what's up?
- Hey.
728
00:29:01,481 --> 00:29:05,151
You, uh, have
a laptop charger or...
729
00:29:05,218 --> 00:29:06,586
Which one?
USB-C or the older ones?
730
00:29:06,653 --> 00:29:09,489
Let's go, ladies!
Keep it going!
731
00:29:09,556 --> 00:29:12,058
Work the quads,
work the glutes.
732
00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:13,393
Anyways, what can I do
for you, bud?
733
00:29:13,460 --> 00:29:15,262
- "Let's go, ladies"?
- Let's go, yeah.
734
00:29:15,328 --> 00:29:16,831
Who are these ladies?
735
00:29:16,898 --> 00:29:19,165
Do me a favor, keep 'em
encouraged while I'm gone.
736
00:29:21,601 --> 00:29:23,637
Let's go!
737
00:29:23,703 --> 00:29:25,973
You are doggin' it!
I want to see more out of you!
738
00:29:26,039 --> 00:29:27,307
You over there,
you're looking good.
739
00:29:27,374 --> 00:29:29,010
- Let's go!
- Sorry, that's too much.
740
00:29:29,075 --> 00:29:30,443
- That's too much.
- Yeah, I'm so sorry.
741
00:29:30,510 --> 00:29:31,779
I don't have the USB-C,
I have the older laptop,
742
00:29:31,846 --> 00:29:32,947
so I don't got it, bud.
743
00:29:33,014 --> 00:29:34,414
Good?
744
00:29:34,481 --> 00:29:35,883
- Did you...
- I haven't got it, okay?
745
00:29:35,950 --> 00:29:39,085
Come on, ladies!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
746
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:56,269
Q is on a boat
with a couple of strangers,
747
00:29:56,336 --> 00:29:58,338
and we've arranged
for this boat to pull up
748
00:29:58,405 --> 00:29:59,807
on someone in distress.
749
00:29:59,874 --> 00:30:02,609
Q doesn't know who, how,
or what the situation is.
750
00:30:02,676 --> 00:30:04,678
In that moment,
the captain's gonna say,
751
00:30:04,744 --> 00:30:06,881
because of the law,
he cannot accept
752
00:30:06,948 --> 00:30:08,181
anyone else on the boat
753
00:30:08,248 --> 00:30:09,817
unless it's unanimously
agreed upon.
754
00:30:09,884 --> 00:30:11,651
The catch is that we're
gonna give him the reason
755
00:30:11,718 --> 00:30:13,253
why this guy
can't get on the boat.
756
00:30:14,287 --> 00:30:15,589
You see that?
757
00:30:15,655 --> 00:30:18,291
Guy over there
flagging us down.
758
00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:20,360
- A guy?
- Uh-oh, Q. Uh-oh, Q.
759
00:30:20,427 --> 00:30:21,595
Somebody's in the water.
760
00:30:24,564 --> 00:30:25,967
You see who that is, Q?
761
00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:29,536
Is that a U.S. soldier?
762
00:30:29,603 --> 00:30:31,605
- A hero?
- An American hero.
763
00:30:31,671 --> 00:30:34,075
It's G.I. Float.
764
00:30:34,140 --> 00:30:36,643
I'm a U.S. soldier in distress.
765
00:30:36,710 --> 00:30:37,812
Can you please help?
766
00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:39,013
We have to make sure
that everyone's okay
767
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,246
with bringing him on.
768
00:30:40,313 --> 00:30:41,247
Are you guys
all right with that?
769
00:30:41,314 --> 00:30:42,649
Yeah, that's all right.
770
00:30:42,716 --> 00:30:44,250
You're okay
with bringing him on?
771
00:30:44,317 --> 00:30:47,888
If he's in distress,
then we want to help.
772
00:30:47,955 --> 00:30:49,289
You okay to bring him on?
773
00:30:49,356 --> 00:30:50,724
Well, hear me out.
774
00:30:50,791 --> 00:30:52,359
I mean, we help a solider
in a dinghy,
775
00:30:52,425 --> 00:30:54,260
what's that gonna do
for his confidence?
776
00:30:54,327 --> 00:30:56,496
If we...
777
00:30:56,563 --> 00:30:58,531
If we were to help
a soldier in a dinghy,
778
00:30:58,598 --> 00:31:00,500
what's that do
for his confidence?
779
00:31:02,502 --> 00:31:05,072
We have backed him
into a corner like no other.
780
00:31:05,138 --> 00:31:07,240
- Where's he from?
- Where did you serve?
781
00:31:07,307 --> 00:31:09,977
- Iraq.
- Oh, so he survived Iraq.
782
00:31:10,044 --> 00:31:11,411
He's okay.
783
00:31:11,478 --> 00:31:14,015
I thank you for your service.
784
00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:16,750
I'm just saying, we don't really
know anything about the guy.
785
00:31:16,817 --> 00:31:18,853
They sell that outfit
at any Army-Navy store.
786
00:31:18,919 --> 00:31:21,388
You know?
787
00:31:21,454 --> 00:31:22,823
How is this even an issue?
788
00:31:27,293 --> 00:31:28,628
I know this looks like
I don't want
789
00:31:28,695 --> 00:31:30,131
to save a U.S. soldier
in distress...
790
00:31:30,230 --> 00:31:31,932
- No, it doesn't.
- It doesn't? Great.
791
00:31:33,166 --> 00:31:34,902
- Oh! Oh, my God!
- Wow.
792
00:31:34,969 --> 00:31:37,437
How is he convincing people
not to help a soldier?
793
00:31:37,504 --> 00:31:39,840
I know, right, a unanimous
vote from you guys, seriously.
794
00:31:39,907 --> 00:31:41,075
Yeah, we're good.
795
00:31:41,142 --> 00:31:42,342
We talked it out,
796
00:31:42,409 --> 00:31:44,444
and we're okay
just bailing on him.
797
00:31:44,511 --> 00:31:46,013
I feel bad
leaving him out there.
798
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,480
- Yes!
- Oh.
799
00:31:47,547 --> 00:31:49,884
I need an answer
from each of you, then, so...
800
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,053
I'll go with whatever
the group decides.
801
00:31:52,119 --> 00:31:53,253
Let him on the boat.
802
00:31:53,319 --> 00:31:54,487
- Yeah?
- Oh!
803
00:31:54,554 --> 00:31:57,357
- Let him on?
- Yeah!
804
00:31:57,424 --> 00:31:58,758
Where were you going to?
805
00:31:58,826 --> 00:32:01,194
Uh, actually,
I was trying to get to Miami
806
00:32:01,261 --> 00:32:02,997
to see the Paula Abdul concert.
807
00:32:04,597 --> 00:32:06,934
Aren't we all.
808
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,507
This looks like
a real party crowd
809
00:32:14,574 --> 00:32:16,844
you have out there, pal.
810
00:32:16,911 --> 00:32:18,745
We're about to roll up
on somebody.
811
00:32:18,813 --> 00:32:21,381
Here we go,
they're already worried.
812
00:32:21,448 --> 00:32:23,184
It's a man in a boat?
813
00:32:23,249 --> 00:32:24,985
Joe, why don't you go take
a look at who's in distress?
814
00:32:25,052 --> 00:32:27,253
Just watch Joe's face.
815
00:32:29,355 --> 00:32:30,623
I'm stuck.
816
00:32:30,690 --> 00:32:32,425
Can you swing around,
give me a hand?
817
00:32:32,492 --> 00:32:33,626
Oh, man.
818
00:32:35,863 --> 00:32:38,264
Oh, I'm stuck!
819
00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:41,035
I'm having trouble
getting back on the boat.
820
00:32:41,102 --> 00:32:43,871
What does he think?
821
00:32:43,938 --> 00:32:46,473
Basically, maritime law says
that if we bring him on,
822
00:32:46,539 --> 00:32:48,475
everyone has to be okay
with us bringing him on.
823
00:32:48,541 --> 00:32:50,911
- Does it have to be unanimous?
- It has to be unanimous.
824
00:32:50,978 --> 00:32:52,345
- Is it all right with you?
- Oh, no it...
825
00:32:52,412 --> 00:32:53,446
- Is it okay with you, sir?
- Yeah.
826
00:32:54,115 --> 00:32:55,749
Oh, no.
827
00:32:57,118 --> 00:32:58,284
I mean, hear me out.
828
00:32:58,351 --> 00:32:59,652
I promised I'd never put myself
829
00:32:59,719 --> 00:33:01,254
into this situation again.
830
00:33:01,321 --> 00:33:02,555
I promised
I'd never put myself
831
00:33:02,622 --> 00:33:03,891
in this situation again.
832
00:33:03,958 --> 00:33:05,159
I've been burned once.
833
00:33:05,226 --> 00:33:06,060
I'm not gonna let it
happen twice.
834
00:33:07,895 --> 00:33:09,462
- You're saying no?
- I'm saying no, yeah.
835
00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:11,564
Murr, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
836
00:33:11,631 --> 00:33:14,400
Guys, I'm having issues
with my dinghy.
837
00:33:14,467 --> 00:33:16,336
I don't know which dinghy
he's talking about.
838
00:33:16,402 --> 00:33:18,404
I don't know.
839
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,810
I mean, you gotta see it
from our point of view, pal.
840
00:33:22,877 --> 00:33:24,677
Joe, go on a rant.
Take this thing over.
841
00:33:24,744 --> 00:33:26,446
You got your buttocks out
in the middle of the ocean,
842
00:33:26,513 --> 00:33:28,314
bobbing up and down
with a lady on the boat,
843
00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:29,784
I mean, you want us
to take you on...
844
00:33:29,850 --> 00:33:31,451
- I mean, where are your trunks?
- What?
845
00:33:31,518 --> 00:33:33,788
The logic doesn't track.
Where are your trunks?
846
00:33:35,755 --> 00:33:37,792
Can't we just help him
get on his boat?
847
00:33:37,858 --> 00:33:39,392
Joey,
it's you versus Murr.
848
00:33:39,459 --> 00:33:41,929
- He gets on, you lose.
- Dead, pal.
849
00:33:41,996 --> 00:33:45,331
Yeah, the rule is we both
get on this boat, I lose.
850
00:33:46,167 --> 00:33:48,768
- Pretty much.
- What?
851
00:33:48,836 --> 00:33:50,204
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
Hold on!
852
00:33:50,271 --> 00:33:51,604
What are you doing?
853
00:33:52,438 --> 00:33:54,074
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joey.
854
00:33:54,141 --> 00:33:55,708
What are you... What?
855
00:33:55,776 --> 00:33:58,311
I'm out. Ah!
856
00:34:01,916 --> 00:34:03,250
Is this for real?
857
00:34:03,316 --> 00:34:05,552
He's gonna save him.
He's going to save him.
858
00:34:05,618 --> 00:34:08,621
- Come on!
- So Murray still loses.
859
00:34:08,688 --> 00:34:10,124
- That's it, he's off.
- Oh, my God, Murray...
860
00:34:10,191 --> 00:34:11,324
Well, he's not
getting on the boat.
861
00:34:11,391 --> 00:34:12,425
- Get in...
- Just not...
862
00:34:12,492 --> 00:34:14,694
- Oh!
- Oh!
863
00:34:14,761 --> 00:34:16,529
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
864
00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:18,933
How could you dare
touch that ass?
865
00:34:18,999 --> 00:34:21,802
- I'll see you back at land.
- Are you kidding me? Joe!
866
00:34:21,869 --> 00:34:23,369
Do you have beer on this boat?
867
00:34:25,005 --> 00:34:26,207
Son of a...
868
00:34:47,594 --> 00:34:50,831
- Wow. This is special.
- Ooh.
869
00:34:50,898 --> 00:34:52,398
You couldn't have booked
something a little bit better?
870
00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:54,034
It's 2 1/2 stars.
How many stars do you need?
871
00:34:54,101 --> 00:34:55,668
- All of them.
- One of the reviews,
872
00:34:55,735 --> 00:34:58,705
Danny D. says,
"Found two crack pipes, lolz."
873
00:34:58,771 --> 00:35:01,242
With a Z.
Still gave it four stars.
874
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:02,408
- All right.
- With a Z?
875
00:35:02,475 --> 00:35:03,878
- It's got cable.
- That's hip.
876
00:35:13,954 --> 00:35:15,388
You guys did not think
we weren't gonna
877
00:35:15,455 --> 00:35:16,957
mess with Sal
on this trip, did you?
878
00:35:17,024 --> 00:35:18,926
Yeah, that's right, we stopped
at this roadside motel
879
00:35:18,993 --> 00:35:20,426
because they allow pets.
880
00:35:20,493 --> 00:35:21,929
You're about to see
a grown man cry.
881
00:35:24,031 --> 00:35:25,698
I was saying, like, pull up
to him, so it could be fun.
882
00:35:25,765 --> 00:35:27,433
Just... You're just going
to see what he's doing.
883
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:29,602
- Right. Hoodie's on?
- Get in.
884
00:35:32,772 --> 00:35:33,874
What?
885
00:35:37,410 --> 00:35:39,179
All right. Can I...
886
00:35:39,246 --> 00:35:40,647
Just open the door, buddy.
887
00:35:40,713 --> 00:35:42,783
- There's no handle.
- No handle?
888
00:35:42,850 --> 00:35:44,484
This isn't the nicest motel.
889
00:35:44,550 --> 00:35:46,053
This wasn't right for today.
890
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,155
Sal, everybody knows
you're afraid of cats.
891
00:35:56,496 --> 00:35:59,266
Oh, my...
892
00:35:59,333 --> 00:36:01,201
That's a tiger.
893
00:36:01,268 --> 00:36:03,603
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
894
00:36:03,670 --> 00:36:06,773
I can't do this. Oh, my God.
895
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,910
How did you get the insurance
to sign off on this?
896
00:36:09,977 --> 00:36:11,312
We didn't.
897
00:36:11,378 --> 00:36:13,713
Guys, I don't think it's funny.
I don't want to do it.
898
00:36:13,781 --> 00:36:16,749
Guys, please. Guys, please.
Guys, please.
899
00:36:16,817 --> 00:36:18,218
I don't think it's funny, guys.
900
00:36:19,987 --> 00:36:21,188
Oh. Can't move.
901
00:36:21,255 --> 00:36:23,523
Yeah, that's probably wise
that you don't move.
902
00:36:23,589 --> 00:36:25,960
I've seen so many movies
and so many TV shows...
903
00:36:26,026 --> 00:36:28,494
In one second,
if this tiger wants to kill me,
904
00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:30,496
the tiger's gonna kill me.
905
00:36:32,232 --> 00:36:34,600
Guys, did you think this
through all the way?
906
00:36:34,667 --> 00:36:36,036
- Not really
- Not really, no.
907
00:36:36,103 --> 00:36:37,938
How can you do this to me?
What do I do?
908
00:36:38,005 --> 00:36:39,440
Try to get
out of the room, bud.
909
00:36:39,505 --> 00:36:41,075
There's a door
right in front of you.
910
00:36:44,445 --> 00:36:45,980
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
911
00:36:46,046 --> 00:36:47,781
Now he's more concerned
about the lock than the tiger.
912
00:36:47,848 --> 00:36:50,884
No, no, no, no, no.
913
00:36:50,951 --> 00:36:52,219
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
914
00:36:52,286 --> 00:36:53,320
Oh, my God!
915
00:36:53,387 --> 00:36:57,291
Guys, I can't make it.
916
00:36:57,358 --> 00:36:58,959
Good, he's brushing
his teeth. Go, go.
917
00:36:59,026 --> 00:37:00,727
- He's brushing his teeth.
- There he goes.
918
00:37:00,794 --> 00:37:01,761
- He's up on the sink.
- Get out of there.
919
00:37:01,829 --> 00:37:04,164
Get out of there, quick.
920
00:37:04,231 --> 00:37:06,200
Look at the poster
in front of your face.
921
00:37:06,266 --> 00:37:09,136
- You think that's funny?
- It's the shit.
922
00:37:09,203 --> 00:37:10,971
Just hang in there, pal.
923
00:37:11,038 --> 00:37:12,739
Guys, I...
924
00:37:13,639 --> 00:37:16,176
don't think this is funny.
925
00:37:16,243 --> 00:37:18,544
- Who's there?
- Just let me in, guys.
926
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:19,880
- It's not funny.
- Sal, it's super easy.
927
00:37:19,947 --> 00:37:21,015
You just have to say
this sentence.
928
00:37:21,081 --> 00:37:22,416
- Go ahead.
- "Let me in.
929
00:37:22,483 --> 00:37:24,650
I'm a baby bitch boy."
930
00:37:24,717 --> 00:37:26,253
Let me in,
I'm the baby bitch boy.
931
00:37:27,754 --> 00:37:29,289
No, no, that's what Joe
wanted you to say.
932
00:37:29,356 --> 00:37:30,757
I want you to say,
933
00:37:30,824 --> 00:37:34,161
"Murr's funnier, smarter,
and better than me."
934
00:37:34,228 --> 00:37:35,963
Come here, buddy.
Come here, buddy.
935
00:37:52,046 --> 00:37:54,281
Chaplin moustache
will never come back.
936
00:37:54,348 --> 00:37:55,382
- Oh, hey, bud.
- Hey.
937
00:37:55,449 --> 00:37:56,283
Do you know the Wi-Fi password?
938
00:37:56,350 --> 00:37:57,617
Oh, the Wi-Fi?
939
00:37:57,683 --> 00:37:58,886
Sure, you don't have it
in your room?
940
00:37:58,952 --> 00:38:00,821
No, the card's not in there,
so, yeah.
941
00:38:06,260 --> 00:38:07,928
I mean, just search
for Morgan Suites.
942
00:38:07,995 --> 00:38:09,496
The password is "password."
943
00:38:09,562 --> 00:38:11,231
The password is "password"?
That's not very secure.
944
00:38:11,298 --> 00:38:12,966
- No.
- Yeah. Oh, hey.
945
00:38:13,033 --> 00:38:15,635
Oh, hey! It's the Houlihans.
946
00:38:15,701 --> 00:38:17,770
One sec. Hey, Marisa, Chris.
Come on.
947
00:38:17,838 --> 00:38:18,872
- Please, please.
- Murr!
948
00:38:18,939 --> 00:38:20,606
Hey, Marisa, you look gorgeous.
949
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:21,641
- Yeah.
- And Chris.
950
00:38:21,707 --> 00:38:22,776
Scotch is in the back.
951
00:38:22,843 --> 00:38:24,178
- Take it easy this time.
- Always.
952
00:38:24,244 --> 00:38:25,312
- All right, buddy. Good night.
- All right, man.
953
00:38:25,379 --> 00:38:26,313
You have a good night.
954
00:38:36,457 --> 00:38:37,891
Grover Cleveland
was a Capricorn... Yeah, man?
955
00:38:37,958 --> 00:38:39,193
Are there any caps
on the password?
956
00:38:39,259 --> 00:38:40,227
All caps.
957
00:38:40,294 --> 00:38:41,727
All caps password.
Yeah, thanks.
958
00:39:02,449 --> 00:39:05,685
Uh-huh. I guess I'm late.
959
00:39:05,751 --> 00:39:08,088
What do you want to do?
960
00:39:08,155 --> 00:39:09,755
All right, this looks nice
and cool in the sun.
961
00:39:09,823 --> 00:39:10,791
This is gonna be great.
962
00:39:14,394 --> 00:39:16,330
All right.
963
00:39:16,396 --> 00:39:17,798
Here we go.
964
00:39:17,865 --> 00:39:19,533
Oh, God, I'm gonna die.
965
00:39:21,001 --> 00:39:23,170
Nobody told me your name,
buddy.
966
00:39:23,237 --> 00:39:25,472
So how about we go
with Benjamin Horse?
967
00:39:25,539 --> 00:39:27,241
Yes. All right.
968
00:39:31,545 --> 00:39:33,247
Oh.
969
00:39:33,313 --> 00:39:34,714
Oh, my goodness.
970
00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:40,087
This says we go up one mile
and make a left,
971
00:39:40,154 --> 00:39:43,857
and then we can punch the guys.
972
00:39:43,924 --> 00:39:45,792
I'd like to marry a girl
like you one day.
973
00:39:45,859 --> 00:39:48,661
Pretty. Beautiful blue eyes.
974
00:39:48,728 --> 00:39:50,931
Calm, steady demeanor.
975
00:39:50,998 --> 00:39:54,667
You guys messed up,
because I'm havin' a blast!
976
00:39:54,734 --> 00:39:57,137
This is the best
road trip ever!
977
00:40:03,877 --> 00:40:05,245
Let me ask you this,
978
00:40:05,312 --> 00:40:07,481
When was the last time
you had an E.L. Fudge?
979
00:40:07,548 --> 00:40:09,183
- One week ago.
- Really?
980
00:40:09,249 --> 00:40:10,551
- No exaggeration.
- You're lying.
981
00:40:10,617 --> 00:40:12,319
I swear to God.
982
00:40:12,386 --> 00:40:14,488
Fudge Stripe gets all the shine
over at Keebler.
983
00:40:14,555 --> 00:40:15,923
Fudge Stripe's a better cookie.
984
00:40:15,989 --> 00:40:17,757
I'm talking Keebler,
I'm talking E.L. Fudge.
985
00:40:17,824 --> 00:40:19,593
I'm talking Fudge Stripe,
and then I move on.
986
00:40:19,660 --> 00:40:21,028
I'll give you $1,000/
987
00:40:21,094 --> 00:40:22,796
if any of you can tell me
what E.L. stands for.
988
00:40:24,231 --> 00:40:25,765
I'm blowing your mind
right now.
989
00:40:25,832 --> 00:40:29,203
Everybody loves?
990
00:40:29,269 --> 00:40:32,673
- Shit.
- You carry $1,000 with you?
991
00:40:32,738 --> 00:40:35,309
- I think I see someone.
- Yeah!
992
00:40:35,375 --> 00:40:36,443
Oh, there he is.
993
00:40:37,411 --> 00:40:39,580
Welcome to the party, pal.
994
00:40:39,646 --> 00:40:40,981
Come on, Fatiator.
995
00:40:41,048 --> 00:40:43,250
Once my balls shot directly
up in my body
996
00:40:43,317 --> 00:40:46,752
about a mile back,
I started enjoying it.
997
00:40:46,820 --> 00:40:48,188
- You got it. Be careful, man.
- Whoa!
998
00:40:48,255 --> 00:40:51,658
- Park it over there.
- Okay, okay. All right.
999
00:40:51,724 --> 00:40:52,793
You good?
1000
00:40:57,998 --> 00:40:59,466
You're forever
my horse, baby.
1001
00:41:10,611 --> 00:41:12,646
Murr, how... This idiot.
1002
00:41:12,713 --> 00:41:14,181
- What?
- Look at...
1003
00:41:16,149 --> 00:41:18,185
How does he even sleep
like that?
1004
00:41:18,252 --> 00:41:19,786
Oh, man.
He's got no idea what's coming.
1005
00:41:19,853 --> 00:41:22,022
Oh, I know.
I've already made some calls.
1006
00:41:24,725 --> 00:41:26,693
♪ Get ready, get ready, go ♪
1007
00:41:26,759 --> 00:41:28,895
♪ Forever my girl
Forever my chick ♪
1008
00:41:28,962 --> 00:41:30,130
♪ Together forever, we lit ♪
1009
00:41:30,197 --> 00:41:31,565
♪ Whatever the gift, she cool ♪
1010
00:41:31,632 --> 00:41:32,699
♪ Whatever she get ♪
1011
00:41:32,765 --> 00:41:33,734
♪ Strawberry letters for dick ♪
1012
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:34,868
♪ I'm bound to sweat ♪
1013
00:41:34,935 --> 00:41:36,370
♪ Got 'em whenever she's sick ♪
1014
00:41:36,436 --> 00:41:38,438
♪ She call me
This medicine quick ♪
1015
00:41:38,505 --> 00:41:39,740
♪ I measured the dick before
I could measure the bitch ♪
1016
00:41:39,806 --> 00:41:40,807
♪ She on the measuring stick ♪
1017
00:41:40,874 --> 00:41:42,342
♪ I'm heavy legit ♪
1018
00:41:42,409 --> 00:41:43,710
♪ Like forever is wrong,
Whatever I do ♪
1019
00:41:43,777 --> 00:41:45,212
♪ You, forever my boo ♪
1020
00:41:45,279 --> 00:41:46,546
♪ And back when
They call me the cat ♪
1021
00:41:46,613 --> 00:41:47,681
♪ I'm like Pepé Le Pew ♪
1022
00:41:47,748 --> 00:41:49,116
♪ Ha ♪
1023
00:41:49,182 --> 00:41:51,818
♪ Staten Island
in the building ♪
1024
00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:53,220
♪ Yeah ♪
1025
00:41:53,287 --> 00:41:55,088
I'm shaking.
1026
00:41:55,155 --> 00:41:56,890
All right, how are you?
1027
00:42:02,796 --> 00:42:04,197
Well, ladies,
this is the birthday boy.
1028
00:42:04,264 --> 00:42:05,332
We're here to celebrate him.
1029
00:42:07,801 --> 00:42:09,503
So let's do this.
1030
00:42:14,441 --> 00:42:15,742
I hold back.
1031
00:42:15,809 --> 00:42:18,011
I get shy at first.
1032
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,049
I guess it is a little.
1033
00:42:22,115 --> 00:42:23,383
It's his birthday, ladies.
1034
00:42:23,450 --> 00:42:25,118
What does this look like
from your vantage?
1035
00:42:28,989 --> 00:42:33,727
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1036
00:42:33,795 --> 00:42:38,231
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1037
00:42:38,298 --> 00:42:43,303
♪ Happy birthday, dear Murray ♪
1038
00:42:43,370 --> 00:42:48,742
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1039
00:42:48,810 --> 00:42:50,177
Are you serious?
1040
00:42:50,243 --> 00:42:52,312
That's Murray's family
behind us.
1041
00:42:52,379 --> 00:42:55,082
That's James' nieces
and nephews.
1042
00:42:55,148 --> 00:42:57,217
- Happy birthday, my friend.
- Oh, my God.
1043
00:42:57,284 --> 00:42:59,219
They're all here!
1044
00:43:05,459 --> 00:43:09,831
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
1045
00:43:16,136 --> 00:43:17,604
Everybody's
ready to roll.
1046
00:43:19,740 --> 00:43:21,141
James, they're so innocent.
1047
00:43:21,208 --> 00:43:23,778
Are you kidding me?
You flew my whole...
1048
00:43:23,845 --> 00:43:26,513
That's my nieces and nephews.
1049
00:43:26,580 --> 00:43:28,448
It's all fake?
1050
00:43:28,515 --> 00:43:29,851
Happy birthday!
1051
00:43:32,252 --> 00:43:33,687
♪ I'm the joker ♪
1052
00:43:33,754 --> 00:43:35,889
♪ I'm practically nuts ♪
1053
00:43:35,956 --> 00:43:37,190
♪ With my crew ♪
1054
00:43:37,257 --> 00:43:40,193
Huh. The Atlanta Hawks
are hiring.
1055
00:43:41,863 --> 00:43:43,063
Players?
1056
00:43:45,232 --> 00:43:46,834
I feel like they shouldn't
put an ad out for that.
1057
00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:48,368
It's unclear.
1058
00:43:50,737 --> 00:43:52,105
All righty. Here we go.
1059
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,642
♪ Whoa, joker ♪
1060
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:00,046
- Murr.
- Yep.
1061
00:44:00,113 --> 00:44:01,281
- How you doing, buddy?
- I'm good.
1062
00:44:02,282 --> 00:44:03,818
Here we go. Here we go, guys.
1063
00:44:03,885 --> 00:44:05,952
- Here we go. We're in.
- How are you doing?
1064
00:44:06,019 --> 00:44:07,287
- Hey, I'm James Murray. Nice to meet you.
- Hey, nice to meet you. Joe.
1065
00:44:07,354 --> 00:44:08,755
- How are you?
- Good, good.
1066
00:44:08,823 --> 00:44:10,090
- How are you doing?
- Joe, pleasure. I'm great.
1067
00:44:10,157 --> 00:44:11,258
- Thank you so much.
- Awesome.
1068
00:44:11,324 --> 00:44:12,426
- Well, welcome.
- Thank you.
1069
00:44:12,492 --> 00:44:13,660
So where are you
coming in from?
1070
00:44:13,727 --> 00:44:15,095
Oh, I live here in Atlanta.
1071
00:44:15,162 --> 00:44:16,763
You answer the questions
we ask you.
1072
00:44:16,831 --> 00:44:18,365
So where are you
from originally?
1073
00:44:18,432 --> 00:44:20,333
Where do I see myself
in five years?
1074
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:23,303
Well, in five years,
I see myself well on track
1075
00:44:23,370 --> 00:44:25,405
to maybe a managerial...
1076
00:44:25,472 --> 00:44:26,640
Okay, great.
1077
00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:28,742
So how'd you hear
about this role in particular?
1078
00:44:28,810 --> 00:44:30,444
Oh.
1079
00:44:30,510 --> 00:44:31,678
Well, what do you feel
your biggest strength is?
1080
00:44:31,745 --> 00:44:32,946
My biggest strengths are...
1081
00:44:34,347 --> 00:44:36,784
I would say confidence,
approachability...
1082
00:44:36,851 --> 00:44:38,452
- Sure.
- I'm easy to talk with.
1083
00:44:38,518 --> 00:44:40,287
Why leave your position
at Georgia State?
1084
00:44:40,353 --> 00:44:41,856
I saw you were there
until March.
1085
00:44:41,923 --> 00:44:43,891
- In full disclosure...
- In full disclosure...
1086
00:44:43,957 --> 00:44:48,930
- I had a child out of wedlock.
- I had a child out of wedlock.
1087
00:44:48,995 --> 00:44:51,231
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1088
00:44:51,298 --> 00:44:54,000
If that disqualifies me
from the job, I understand.
1089
00:44:54,067 --> 00:44:56,736
- Nope. Nope. Certainly not.
- Right.
1090
00:44:58,338 --> 00:45:00,440
I put a Polaroid camera.
Just take a quick picture.
1091
00:45:01,141 --> 00:45:02,175
- Cool.
- Right?
1092
00:45:02,242 --> 00:45:03,710
- You got a...
- Yeah.
1093
00:45:05,378 --> 00:45:07,547
- Camera. Nice.
- Yeah.
1094
00:45:07,614 --> 00:45:09,182
Get him to sign it.
Get him to sign it.
1095
00:45:09,249 --> 00:45:11,384
- Well, um...
- Can you autograph?
1096
00:45:11,451 --> 00:45:13,119
- Is that cool?
- Sure, yeah. Yeah, bring it.
1097
00:45:13,186 --> 00:45:14,454
I mean,
you are on the Hawks.
1098
00:45:14,521 --> 00:45:15,957
I mean,
you are on the Hawks, so...
1099
00:45:16,022 --> 00:45:17,591
Yeah, well... Yeah.
1100
00:45:17,657 --> 00:45:19,493
I have to apologize
if I seem a little off.
1101
00:45:19,559 --> 00:45:21,127
I have to apologize,
by the way,
1102
00:45:21,194 --> 00:45:22,830
if I seem a little off
during the interview.
1103
00:45:22,897 --> 00:45:24,030
Aunt Flo's in town.
1104
00:45:24,097 --> 00:45:26,333
Aunt...
1105
00:45:26,399 --> 00:45:28,235
Frick.
1106
00:45:28,301 --> 00:45:29,636
Looks like I'm not
getting the job.
1107
00:45:32,172 --> 00:45:33,875
- Or the party ticket.
- Yeah.
1108
00:45:37,143 --> 00:45:38,545
Look at this, boys.
1109
00:45:38,612 --> 00:45:39,914
This is big-time...
You get this job,
1110
00:45:39,981 --> 00:45:41,314
you're gonna be
big-time, buddy.
1111
00:45:41,381 --> 00:45:42,449
This is a big-time gig
we're infiltrating.
1112
00:45:42,516 --> 00:45:44,584
I'm ready for the big time.
1113
00:45:44,651 --> 00:45:46,520
- Here she comes.
- Hello, hi.
1114
00:45:46,586 --> 00:45:48,355
- How are you?
- How are you? I'm Brian.
1115
00:45:48,421 --> 00:45:51,124
- Hey. Nice to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.
1116
00:45:51,191 --> 00:45:52,158
Here we go.
1117
00:45:52,225 --> 00:45:53,660
- Oh.
- Here we go, Q.
1118
00:45:53,727 --> 00:45:55,729
You've seen
the job description.
1119
00:45:55,796 --> 00:45:57,264
- I have. Yeah.
- Correct?
1120
00:45:57,330 --> 00:45:59,566
- I got it right here.
- Two words, under qualified.
1121
00:45:59,633 --> 00:46:02,402
Two words, under qualified,
but willing to learn.
1122
00:46:02,469 --> 00:46:04,437
Willing to learn. That's great.
1123
00:46:05,739 --> 00:46:08,375
Can you describe
your style of management?
1124
00:46:08,441 --> 00:46:10,011
- My style of management?
- Mmm-hmm.
1125
00:46:10,076 --> 00:46:11,378
Sure, well,
my nickname's Crab Cake,
1126
00:46:11,444 --> 00:46:12,880
so if that's any indication...
1127
00:46:12,947 --> 00:46:15,282
My nickname... All my, uh...
1128
00:46:15,348 --> 00:46:17,183
All my workers
call me Crab Cakes,
1129
00:46:17,250 --> 00:46:18,685
if that's any indication.
1130
00:46:18,752 --> 00:46:19,887
- Yeah.
- Really?
1131
00:46:19,954 --> 00:46:20,955
- Yeah, Crab Cakes.
- Yeah.
1132
00:46:22,422 --> 00:46:24,124
If the guys want
to call me Crab Cakes,
1133
00:46:24,190 --> 00:46:26,994
hey, call me Crab Cakes.
1134
00:46:27,060 --> 00:46:28,495
- Off topic...
- Off topic...
1135
00:46:28,562 --> 00:46:30,831
Is that stupid mascot
of yours a woodpecker?
1136
00:46:30,898 --> 00:46:32,198
What is that thing?
1137
00:46:32,265 --> 00:46:35,168
Is that...
That stupid mascot you have,
1138
00:46:35,235 --> 00:46:36,871
is that a woodpecker,
what is that thing?
1139
00:46:38,638 --> 00:46:40,206
- I can't even look.
- Oh, my God.
1140
00:46:40,273 --> 00:46:42,375
- I can't even look.
- It's a hawk.
1141
00:46:42,442 --> 00:46:43,677
I don't know
what you call that bird.
1142
00:46:43,743 --> 00:46:45,278
Yeah? Oh, it looks
like a woodpecker.
1143
00:46:49,649 --> 00:46:50,717
Yeah.
1144
00:46:50,785 --> 00:46:52,419
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1145
00:46:52,485 --> 00:46:54,721
Will I be pissing in a cup
for a drug test?
1146
00:46:55,488 --> 00:46:57,524
Do you know, is, um...
1147
00:47:02,797 --> 00:47:04,197
He doesn't want to say it.
1148
00:47:04,264 --> 00:47:06,132
Yeah, I really tanked this one.
1149
00:47:06,199 --> 00:47:08,101
There's no way
I'm going to see Abdul.
1150
00:47:08,168 --> 00:47:10,938
There's no way I'm going
to see Paula Abdul.
1151
00:47:13,473 --> 00:47:14,875
Explain the plot of the movie.
1152
00:47:14,942 --> 00:47:16,343
We're four high school friends.
1153
00:47:16,409 --> 00:47:18,879
So we're on a road trip
for redemption
1154
00:47:18,946 --> 00:47:21,414
for an incident that happened
back in 1990,
1155
00:47:21,481 --> 00:47:22,950
like, coming back
to haunt us now.
1156
00:47:23,017 --> 00:47:25,086
And there's only three tickets
to see Abdul,
1157
00:47:25,151 --> 00:47:27,554
and one of us can't go.
1158
00:47:27,621 --> 00:47:29,756
- Rate our movie.
- The movie's 3 1/2 stars.
1159
00:47:29,824 --> 00:47:31,558
The movie's gonna be
3 1/2 stars.
1160
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,394
This interview is bullshit.
1161
00:47:37,297 --> 00:47:39,132
This interview is bullshit.
1162
00:47:42,003 --> 00:47:44,371
Thank you.
1163
00:47:44,437 --> 00:47:46,139
It's total bullshit.
1164
00:47:47,374 --> 00:47:50,143
It's all for a movie.
1165
00:47:51,946 --> 00:47:53,914
Hey, buddy,
everything look cozy?
1166
00:47:53,981 --> 00:47:55,783
Yep.
What's that?
1167
00:47:55,850 --> 00:47:57,617
That's Chase, you met him
at a Big Brother program.
1168
00:47:57,684 --> 00:47:59,486
Then you lost him, and now
he's your guardian angel
1169
00:47:59,552 --> 00:48:01,889
that looks over you
during all the big events,
1170
00:48:01,956 --> 00:48:03,156
including job interviews.
1171
00:48:03,223 --> 00:48:04,557
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, yeah, yeah.
1172
00:48:04,624 --> 00:48:06,760
How are you?
Very random.
1173
00:48:06,827 --> 00:48:09,763
- That's actually Chase.
- Okay. Great.
1174
00:48:09,830 --> 00:48:10,965
He was my Little Brother,
1175
00:48:11,032 --> 00:48:12,066
in the Little Brother,
Big Brother program.
1176
00:48:12,133 --> 00:48:13,433
Okay.
1177
00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:14,835
He's like my guardian angel,
inspiration.
1178
00:48:14,902 --> 00:48:16,369
He's gonna look over
the interview for me.
1179
00:48:16,436 --> 00:48:17,737
- Oh, I think that's great.
- Thank you.
1180
00:48:17,805 --> 00:48:19,372
I was like, did someone
leave anything?
1181
00:48:19,439 --> 00:48:20,440
- Oh, no, what is your name?
- Brandy. Brandy.
1182
00:48:20,507 --> 00:48:21,541
- Brandy.
- Yeah, sorry.
1183
00:48:21,608 --> 00:48:23,010
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Sal.
1184
00:48:23,077 --> 00:48:24,111
Immediately launch into
why the Earth is flat.
1185
00:48:25,345 --> 00:48:26,446
I like talking to people
1186
00:48:26,513 --> 00:48:27,782
about all different types
of things.
1187
00:48:27,848 --> 00:48:29,182
- Right.
- You know, for example, like,
1188
00:48:29,249 --> 00:48:31,251
no denying it for me that the,
1189
00:48:31,317 --> 00:48:33,020
you know, I believe
the Earth is flat.
1190
00:48:33,087 --> 00:48:34,922
So I like to talk about that.
1191
00:48:34,989 --> 00:48:36,189
Okay. Great.
1192
00:48:37,892 --> 00:48:39,492
How do you feel
about the shape of the Earth?
1193
00:48:39,559 --> 00:48:42,562
What is your opinion
on the shape of the Earth?
1194
00:48:42,629 --> 00:48:44,230
- Um...
- There's the look.
1195
00:48:44,297 --> 00:48:48,135
I mean, I'm pretty literal,
so I'm gonna go with round.
1196
00:48:48,201 --> 00:48:49,602
Yeah, most people
think it's round.
1197
00:48:49,669 --> 00:48:51,571
- Yeah.
- But they'd be wrong.
1198
00:48:53,707 --> 00:48:55,308
They told me to bring
a recommendation,
1199
00:48:55,375 --> 00:48:56,877
- so I brought one.
- They said to bring a rec...
1200
00:48:56,944 --> 00:49:00,147
A recommendation too, and
I also have a recommendation.
1201
00:49:00,213 --> 00:49:01,715
Sal, pull out the iPad there.
1202
00:49:01,782 --> 00:49:03,249
Uh, so here.
1203
00:49:06,252 --> 00:49:07,788
It's Sal's mom, Adele.
1204
00:49:09,389 --> 00:49:12,625
Please hire him.
He'd be a good employee.
1205
00:49:12,692 --> 00:49:15,228
He doesn't steal.
He's a good boy.
1206
00:49:15,295 --> 00:49:17,564
He pays me to clean his house,
1207
00:49:17,630 --> 00:49:19,232
so please, please,
please hire him
1208
00:49:19,299 --> 00:49:21,035
so he can keep paying me.
1209
00:49:22,702 --> 00:49:24,972
Oh, my God.
That's awesome.
1210
00:49:26,140 --> 00:49:28,042
- You good?
- Ah, hell, nah!
1211
00:49:28,109 --> 00:49:31,078
Instead of "Oh, hell, no,"
do the singing version of it.
1212
00:49:31,145 --> 00:49:32,278
♪ Hell, no ♪
1213
00:49:32,345 --> 00:49:34,647
♪ To the no, no, no ♪
1214
00:49:36,316 --> 00:49:39,319
- I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.
1215
00:49:39,385 --> 00:49:41,287
- What are you writing?
- What, what are you...
1216
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:42,489
What are you writing?
1217
00:49:44,357 --> 00:49:45,960
- My notes.
- Oh, great. Perfect.
1218
00:49:48,428 --> 00:49:49,696
Take notes.
1219
00:49:49,763 --> 00:49:51,698
Yeah, Sal,
take notes on her.
1220
00:49:57,437 --> 00:50:00,340
Sal, just go, "Are there
one T or two in 'pretty'?"
1221
00:50:03,043 --> 00:50:04,677
Ah, done!
1222
00:50:04,744 --> 00:50:07,915
- Done, boys.
- Well done.
1223
00:50:09,349 --> 00:50:11,852
Okay, so this is my outfit.
1224
00:50:11,919 --> 00:50:15,122
Yeah, Joey in a breakaway
basketball warmup suit.
1225
00:50:15,189 --> 00:50:16,422
So as soon as the person
comes in,
1226
00:50:16,489 --> 00:50:18,491
you just get ready
for game time.
1227
00:50:20,660 --> 00:50:22,163
- Hey, how are you?
- Good. How are you?
1228
00:50:22,229 --> 00:50:23,630
- Big hug.
- Nice to see you.
1229
00:50:23,696 --> 00:50:25,498
- Emily. Nice to meet you.
- It's nice to meet you.
1230
00:50:25,565 --> 00:50:27,667
- Yeah, I'm ready to do this.
- Oh, here you go.
1231
00:50:27,734 --> 00:50:29,870
- That's amazing.
- Right?
1232
00:50:29,937 --> 00:50:30,971
That is awesome.
1233
00:50:32,807 --> 00:50:34,307
So nice to meet you.
I'm Emily.
1234
00:50:34,374 --> 00:50:35,742
I'm the building
security manager.
1235
00:50:35,810 --> 00:50:37,244
- Building security manager?
- Yes, sir, so...
1236
00:50:37,310 --> 00:50:38,245
And what was your name again?
I'm sorry.
1237
00:50:38,311 --> 00:50:39,947
Emily. Yes, sir.
1238
00:50:40,014 --> 00:50:42,016
I'm gonna let you get started
other than that amazing intro.
1239
00:50:42,082 --> 00:50:43,683
- Oh, thank you.
- Joe, where are you from?
1240
00:50:43,750 --> 00:50:45,052
Tell me a little bit
about yourself.
1241
00:50:45,119 --> 00:50:46,287
Nah, nah.
1242
00:50:46,352 --> 00:50:48,354
Nah, I didn't want to...
1243
00:50:48,421 --> 00:50:49,722
I didn't really want
to get into that.
1244
00:50:51,491 --> 00:50:53,294
What's that?
Which part.
1245
00:50:53,359 --> 00:50:55,495
My past.
My shadowy past.
1246
00:50:55,562 --> 00:50:57,865
My shadowy past.
I didn't really want to start...
1247
00:50:59,632 --> 00:51:01,202
Keep saying "off the record."
1248
00:51:01,268 --> 00:51:02,602
- Off the record...
- Mmm-hmm.
1249
00:51:02,669 --> 00:51:04,839
I negotiated prices
for, like, bulk supplies.
1250
00:51:04,905 --> 00:51:06,472
- Mmm-hmm.
- I would let them in
1251
00:51:06,539 --> 00:51:08,008
on the, to the side.
1252
00:51:08,075 --> 00:51:09,877
Joe, she's writing this down.
It's off the record.
1253
00:51:09,944 --> 00:51:11,644
Yeah,
but this is all off the...
1254
00:51:11,711 --> 00:51:13,314
- This is all off the record.
- No, no, you're fine.
1255
00:51:13,379 --> 00:51:14,447
I'm just talking about your
extension of knowledge with...
1256
00:51:14,514 --> 00:51:15,883
Got it, got it.
1257
00:51:15,950 --> 00:51:17,318
Um, what else can I tell you
off the record?
1258
00:51:17,383 --> 00:51:19,119
Joe, have a roving finger.
1259
00:51:19,186 --> 00:51:21,021
There was one time
when a whole crew was in here,
1260
00:51:21,088 --> 00:51:22,823
and they had to actually be on
the other side of the campus,
1261
00:51:22,890 --> 00:51:24,792
but the middle was closed,
so I couldn't get them through.
1262
00:51:24,859 --> 00:51:26,359
We had to actually
go around the whole thing.
1263
00:51:26,426 --> 00:51:27,594
- But off the record.
- Off the record, Monica.
1264
00:51:27,660 --> 00:51:28,494
Off the record,
we went through
1265
00:51:28,561 --> 00:51:29,797
the closed road, Monica.
1266
00:51:29,864 --> 00:51:31,431
Here comes
the moving finger.
1267
00:51:31,497 --> 00:51:32,665
And, you know, there was
a lot of teams up here,
1268
00:51:32,732 --> 00:51:33,801
and then
we brought it down south.
1269
00:51:33,868 --> 00:51:35,535
You know,
you connect everybody,
1270
00:51:35,602 --> 00:51:37,537
and they all have their
own conferences and stuff,
1271
00:51:37,604 --> 00:51:39,206
but, uh, I have stopped...
1272
00:51:39,273 --> 00:51:41,574
Excuse yourself for one quick
moment to go to the bathroom
1273
00:51:41,641 --> 00:51:43,443
and then go downstairs
and play basketball.
1274
00:51:43,509 --> 00:51:45,745
Um, I need to use
the restroom real quick.
1275
00:51:45,813 --> 00:51:47,181
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah, sure, no worries.
1276
00:51:47,248 --> 00:51:48,916
- I'll be right back.
- Yeah.
1277
00:51:49,917 --> 00:51:51,018
I'll be right back.
I'm sorry.
1278
00:51:51,085 --> 00:51:52,685
- Yeah, okay.
- Thanks.
1279
00:51:54,154 --> 00:51:56,824
Look at her face!
1280
00:52:02,428 --> 00:52:04,564
- This is gonna be amazing.
- Her face is...
1281
00:52:16,576 --> 00:52:17,811
Almost.
1282
00:52:17,878 --> 00:52:20,114
Joey, uh, security
really sucks around here.
1283
00:52:21,849 --> 00:52:23,884
- You good?
- Yeah, security really sucks.
1284
00:52:23,951 --> 00:52:25,986
I was able just to go down
there and shoot hoops.
1285
00:52:32,558 --> 00:52:34,527
- Yeah.
- So security's an issue.
1286
00:52:35,062 --> 00:52:35,963
Yeah.
1287
00:52:36,030 --> 00:52:38,198
Security's an issue.
1288
00:52:38,265 --> 00:52:41,135
All right, well, do you have
any further questions for me?
1289
00:52:41,201 --> 00:52:43,703
Tell her you'll be in touch
and she did great.
1290
00:52:43,770 --> 00:52:44,939
And, uh, that's it.
Yeah, thank you so much.
1291
00:52:45,005 --> 00:52:47,674
You did great.
We'll be in touch.
1292
00:52:47,740 --> 00:52:49,076
I'll get Jakim to, uh...
1293
00:52:49,143 --> 00:52:51,511
Hey, appreciate it.
Yeah, we'll let you know.
1294
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,348
Possibly.
Maybe we'll hire her.
1295
00:52:56,216 --> 00:52:57,351
Maybe we'll hire her.
1296
00:52:57,418 --> 00:52:58,285
I'm not sure
if we'll hire her.
1297
00:53:04,524 --> 00:53:06,026
- A left right here?
- Go.
1298
00:53:06,093 --> 00:53:08,028
Yeah, baby, yeah!
1299
00:53:08,095 --> 00:53:10,496
Disgusting loading dock.
Nice, guys.
1300
00:53:14,835 --> 00:53:16,804
Now do you want to tell me
why we're here?
1301
00:53:16,870 --> 00:53:18,172
We're just gonna pop into
1302
00:53:18,238 --> 00:53:19,639
this social media convention
real quick.
1303
00:53:19,706 --> 00:53:21,774
- Uh-huh.
- Here's your credentials.
1304
00:53:21,842 --> 00:53:23,377
We're having fun with you today
at your expense.
1305
00:53:23,444 --> 00:53:25,846
Hey, bud, uh, you're, uh...
You're on in ten minutes.
1306
00:53:27,147 --> 00:53:29,249
You're terrible
at social networking, so...
1307
00:53:33,153 --> 00:53:34,254
Give it up one more time
1308
00:53:34,321 --> 00:53:35,990
for your When Brands
Take a Stand panel.
1309
00:53:38,392 --> 00:53:40,227
So we are at
the Social Shake-Up,
1310
00:53:40,294 --> 00:53:43,663
which is a tremendous
social media conference here,
1311
00:53:43,730 --> 00:53:46,000
and Q is about to go up
and give a presentation.
1312
00:53:46,066 --> 00:53:47,633
- Yeah.
- We wrote the presentation.
1313
00:53:47,700 --> 00:53:49,569
He's never seen a single
one of these slides.
1314
00:53:49,635 --> 00:53:51,005
There's 600 people here,
1315
00:53:51,071 --> 00:53:52,973
which is a little more
than we usually have.
1316
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,208
A little more?
1317
00:53:54,274 --> 00:53:58,012
We do have a last-minute
addition to the roster.
1318
00:53:58,078 --> 00:54:00,781
We have a new speaker
coming up.
1319
00:54:00,848 --> 00:54:02,682
We have been trying
to do this for years.
1320
00:54:02,749 --> 00:54:05,919
Please welcome to the stage
Peter Foaks.
1321
00:54:07,454 --> 00:54:08,554
Peter Foaks.
1322
00:54:13,327 --> 00:54:14,727
Good morning, everybody.
1323
00:54:14,795 --> 00:54:16,629
Very excited to be here.
Thank you for having me.
1324
00:54:16,696 --> 00:54:17,898
My name is Peter Foaks.
1325
00:54:17,965 --> 00:54:19,466
They brought me here
'cause I'm...
1326
00:54:19,565 --> 00:54:21,902
really been doing well
as a social media influencer,
1327
00:54:21,969 --> 00:54:24,670
so why don't we get started.
1328
00:54:24,737 --> 00:54:27,607
How to Become
a Social Media Influencer,
1329
00:54:27,673 --> 00:54:30,643
or as my dad calls it,
"not have a real job."
1330
00:54:32,545 --> 00:54:34,882
So here we go.
1331
00:54:34,948 --> 00:54:37,117
His world after this
is gonna change.
1332
00:54:37,184 --> 00:54:39,386
We may not be friends
after this moment.
1333
00:54:39,453 --> 00:54:40,988
I recently interviewed
1334
00:54:41,055 --> 00:54:42,890
social media influencer
Franz Goldberg.
1335
00:54:42,956 --> 00:54:45,025
Do you guys know who that is?
1336
00:54:45,092 --> 00:54:46,894
Ah, you're gonna love this.
Okay.
1337
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:48,628
Hi, my name
is Franz Goldberg,
1338
00:54:48,694 --> 00:54:50,964
and I'm what you would call
a social media influencer.
1339
00:54:51,031 --> 00:54:53,133
My major platform is YouTube.
1340
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:54,935
Advertisers want to...
1341
00:54:55,002 --> 00:54:57,237
...and I can provide them...
1342
00:54:57,304 --> 00:54:59,373
It's interrupting.
1343
00:55:02,608 --> 00:55:04,478
Did somebody call a plumber?
1344
00:55:04,545 --> 00:55:07,613
Yes.
I need my pipes cleaned.
1345
00:55:10,918 --> 00:55:12,652
That's Q's parents!
1346
00:55:12,718 --> 00:55:14,121
That's Q's real parents.
1347
00:55:14,188 --> 00:55:17,458
- I can help with that.
- Oh, goody.
1348
00:55:17,524 --> 00:55:18,492
Come this way.
1349
00:55:18,559 --> 00:55:19,592
Oh, yeah.
1350
00:55:19,659 --> 00:55:21,361
Good pipes.
Oh.
1351
00:55:21,428 --> 00:55:23,363
Oh, yes.
1352
00:55:23,430 --> 00:55:25,765
...place them
at the end of my video.
1353
00:55:25,833 --> 00:55:28,135
I like to place them inside...
1354
00:55:34,408 --> 00:55:37,444
I must have recorded
over an old tape on that one.
1355
00:55:40,581 --> 00:55:42,149
Also, um...
1356
00:55:42,216 --> 00:55:45,319
you probably shouldn't use
tapes in the modern era,
1357
00:55:45,385 --> 00:55:47,521
'cause of accidents like that.
1358
00:55:47,588 --> 00:55:49,857
You know, digital...
digital...
1359
00:55:49,923 --> 00:55:52,126
I would say digital
is the way to go.
1360
00:55:52,192 --> 00:55:54,495
He can't even speak.
1361
00:55:54,561 --> 00:55:56,729
His mind is blown.
1362
00:55:56,797 --> 00:56:01,135
Okay, well, look,
identify the major brands
1363
00:56:02,402 --> 00:56:04,104
that fit with your brands.
1364
00:56:04,171 --> 00:56:06,807
You know, stay on brand
is basically what I'm saying.
1365
00:56:06,874 --> 00:56:09,009
Uh, oh, no.
1366
00:56:10,511 --> 00:56:13,046
Oh, I hope this one doesn't
get interrupted, buddy.
1367
00:56:13,113 --> 00:56:15,249
Well, why don't
we give a listen
1368
00:56:15,315 --> 00:56:18,352
to what Franz Goldberg
has to say about brands.
1369
00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:19,820
Oh.
1370
00:56:19,887 --> 00:56:21,188
You think they would have
just brought Franz here,
1371
00:56:21,255 --> 00:56:23,824
but no, we got tape.
1372
00:56:23,891 --> 00:56:25,526
My audience likes
that I'm real.
1373
00:56:25,592 --> 00:56:28,095
- They don't want to be fed...
- It's just gonna go right...
1374
00:56:28,162 --> 00:56:30,464
Oh, this is funny.
There... There's Dad.
1375
00:56:31,664 --> 00:56:34,101
Well, hello there.
1376
00:56:34,168 --> 00:56:36,570
May I help you?
1377
00:56:36,637 --> 00:56:38,539
I'm here to plant some seed.
1378
00:56:40,174 --> 00:56:42,742
He's a gardener.
You can tell by his hat.
1379
00:56:42,809 --> 00:56:45,312
Let me show you
where you can plant it.
1380
00:56:45,379 --> 00:56:47,481
Yes, come on.
1381
00:56:47,548 --> 00:56:49,283
That bush needs trimming.
1382
00:56:53,053 --> 00:56:54,788
My dad had
a lot of side jobs.
1383
00:56:54,855 --> 00:56:57,723
- So did your mom.
- So did your mom, apparently.
1384
00:56:58,691 --> 00:57:00,394
So did my mom, apparently.
1385
00:57:02,930 --> 00:57:04,364
Are there any questions?
1386
00:57:06,133 --> 00:57:07,334
No?
No questions.
1387
00:57:07,401 --> 00:57:08,835
I-I didn't think so.
1388
00:57:08,902 --> 00:57:10,904
All right, well, I have
a few questions myself.
1389
00:57:13,240 --> 00:57:14,541
- Thank you.
- Well done, buddy.
1390
00:57:14,608 --> 00:57:15,943
Well done.
1391
00:57:16,009 --> 00:57:17,911
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Bring it in.
1392
00:57:17,978 --> 00:57:20,814
Hey, Brian.
Dad's on his way.
1393
00:57:20,881 --> 00:57:22,950
- How did it go?
- How did it go?
1394
00:57:23,016 --> 00:57:24,585
- Brian.
- Yeah.
1395
00:57:24,651 --> 00:57:27,187
I didn't know who was
gonna be more embarrassed.
1396
00:57:27,254 --> 00:57:28,855
- You or us.
- Well, I'll tell you what.
1397
00:57:28,922 --> 00:57:30,490
It didn't look like
you guys were embarrassed.
1398
00:57:30,557 --> 00:57:32,459
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Quinn,
I'll be by next week
1399
00:57:32,526 --> 00:57:33,560
to film the sequel, okay?
1400
00:57:33,627 --> 00:57:35,128
All right, get out of here.
1401
00:57:35,195 --> 00:57:37,730
Don't answer the phone
when they call anymore, okay?
1402
00:57:37,798 --> 00:57:39,066
All right, love you, Ma.
I love you, Dad.
1403
00:57:39,132 --> 00:57:40,434
I'll talk to you guys
in a little bit.
1404
00:57:46,940 --> 00:57:49,576
All right, here it is.
1405
00:57:49,643 --> 00:57:51,311
Oh, yeah.
1406
00:57:51,378 --> 00:57:53,280
- There's an event going on.
- What is it?
1407
00:57:53,347 --> 00:57:55,449
- Right now, what is it?
- Okay.
1408
00:57:55,515 --> 00:57:58,085
- Sally, one of your closest friends is in town tonight.
- Yeah.
1409
00:57:58,151 --> 00:57:59,519
Jaden Smith has
a movie premiere.
1410
00:57:59,586 --> 00:58:01,321
Stop it.
1411
00:58:01,388 --> 00:58:03,257
All right, Sal, so now
you're Jaden's number one fan,
1412
00:58:03,323 --> 00:58:04,858
and all you gotta do
is just walk around
1413
00:58:04,925 --> 00:58:05,993
and let people know it.
1414
00:58:06,059 --> 00:58:08,328
All right, where's our boy?
1415
00:58:08,395 --> 00:58:09,563
I feel like an idiot.
1416
00:58:09,630 --> 00:58:11,832
Let me see
that tattoo, buddy.
1417
00:58:11,898 --> 00:58:13,267
Hi, can I take a picture
of your tattoo?
1418
00:58:13,333 --> 00:58:15,135
- Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
- Nice shorts.
1419
00:58:15,202 --> 00:58:17,738
- I'm just his number one fan.
- Honestly, I see it.
1420
00:58:17,804 --> 00:58:19,373
I really see it.
1421
00:58:19,439 --> 00:58:21,475
Guys, now do you see
what I had envisioned
1422
00:58:21,541 --> 00:58:23,010
so many seasons ago?
1423
00:58:23,076 --> 00:58:24,244
All right, Sal, you're up.
1424
00:58:24,311 --> 00:58:25,545
Three, two, one.
1425
00:58:31,685 --> 00:58:32,853
Look!
1426
00:58:32,919 --> 00:58:34,688
Jaden Smith, number one fan.
1427
00:58:34,755 --> 00:58:36,623
I'm his number one fan.
1428
00:58:36,690 --> 00:58:38,558
Act like
his number one fan, buddy!
1429
00:58:38,625 --> 00:58:39,860
I'm his number one fan.
1430
00:58:39,926 --> 00:58:41,094
You think
you're Jaden's number one fan?
1431
00:58:41,161 --> 00:58:42,562
- Yeah, I do.
- You got this shirt?
1432
00:58:42,629 --> 00:58:44,031
- I wish I had the shirt.
- You got the tat, though?
1433
00:58:44,097 --> 00:58:45,499
- Let's do, oh.
- Come on.
1434
00:58:47,401 --> 00:58:49,836
- You know Jaden's blood type?
- There you go.
1435
00:58:49,903 --> 00:58:51,738
- Wrong!
- What is it?
1436
00:58:51,805 --> 00:58:53,040
- A-negative.
- Yeah, right.
1437
00:58:53,106 --> 00:58:54,374
Yeah, it is.
1438
00:58:54,441 --> 00:58:56,677
Sal, I need a little bit
more crazy eyes.
1439
00:58:59,279 --> 00:59:01,114
- Has anybody seen him?
- Can I see your tattoo?
1440
00:59:01,181 --> 00:59:02,616
I gotta meet him.
I gotta meet him.
1441
00:59:02,683 --> 00:59:04,184
Yo, pal, do you know
when the Q&A is with Jaden?
1442
00:59:04,251 --> 00:59:05,752
Do you know when the Q&A is?
1443
00:59:07,154 --> 00:59:08,689
It's just wait and hold.
1444
00:59:08,755 --> 00:59:10,090
Wait and hold?
1445
00:59:10,157 --> 00:59:11,458
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- What?
1446
00:59:11,525 --> 00:59:12,959
- Do you know where Jaden is?
- I don't.
1447
00:59:13,026 --> 00:59:13,927
- I'm so sorry.
- You're no help to me.
1448
00:59:16,496 --> 00:59:19,533
Jaden's movie has now ended,
and there's a Q&A afterward.
1449
00:59:19,599 --> 00:59:21,635
- This is awesome.
- There he is.
1450
00:59:21,702 --> 00:59:24,004
There's Jaden.
1451
00:59:24,071 --> 00:59:26,773
Before we do that,
I just wanted to start off...
1452
00:59:26,840 --> 00:59:29,443
Um...
1453
00:59:29,509 --> 00:59:30,444
Hop up, Sal.
1454
00:59:31,813 --> 00:59:33,413
So I have
a million questions,
1455
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:35,783
but do we have some questions
out here from the audience?
1456
00:59:35,849 --> 00:59:37,050
Come on, buddy.
Get into it.
1457
00:59:37,117 --> 00:59:38,820
- Oh! Oh!
- Do we have a really good one?
1458
00:59:38,885 --> 00:59:40,053
So we have a question
right over here.
1459
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:42,222
Oh, yes!
Yes!
1460
00:59:42,756 --> 00:59:43,924
Whoo!
1461
00:59:46,126 --> 00:59:47,961
I'm just the number one
Jaden Smith fan.
1462
00:59:48,028 --> 00:59:50,464
I'm just Jaden's
number one fan.
1463
00:59:50,530 --> 00:59:51,465
Can we hug?
1464
00:59:51,531 --> 00:59:53,100
Why don't you just
come on up here?
1465
00:59:53,166 --> 00:59:54,334
Can I .really?
Oh, thank you guys so much!@
1466
00:59:54,401 --> 00:59:56,169
- Would you guys mind?
- Come on up!
1467
00:59:56,236 --> 00:59:57,738
- Thank you, thank you.
- What Sal doesn't know
1468
00:59:57,805 --> 00:59:59,706
is that Jaden is in cahoots
with us this whole time
1469
00:59:59,773 --> 01:00:01,776
- Yes.
- Oh, look at those shorts.
1470
01:00:01,843 --> 01:00:05,612
Wow, wow.
Come on over.
1471
01:00:05,679 --> 01:00:07,581
Come on over.
Wow.
1472
01:00:07,647 --> 01:00:09,349
Thanks for coming out.
1473
01:00:09,416 --> 01:00:11,318
Oh, cool.
This is very cool.
1474
01:00:11,385 --> 01:00:14,454
Thank you so much.
Ah, bam!
1475
01:00:14,521 --> 01:00:16,022
Wow.
1476
01:00:16,089 --> 01:00:17,958
Are you serious?
1477
01:00:18,024 --> 01:00:19,794
- That is...
- Oh, my God, ah!
1478
01:00:19,861 --> 01:00:21,695
- Are you serious?
- Ah!
1479
01:00:21,762 --> 01:00:23,296
Are you serious?
1480
01:00:23,363 --> 01:00:24,866
I got this a few years ago.
1481
01:00:24,931 --> 01:00:26,299
Been waiting to show it to you.
1482
01:00:26,366 --> 01:00:28,268
I just feel like
I look a lot different.
1483
01:00:28,335 --> 01:00:30,404
Maybe we could
get it, like, redone.
1484
01:00:30,470 --> 01:00:32,706
Sal, just say, "Well, I do
have this other thigh."
1485
01:00:32,773 --> 01:00:35,142
Revamped. Something.
1486
01:00:35,208 --> 01:00:36,109
- There you go, Sal.
- Just 'cause it's old.
1487
01:00:36,176 --> 01:00:37,511
It's just old.
1488
01:00:37,577 --> 01:00:40,447
You know, I feel like
if it was newer...
1489
01:00:41,348 --> 01:00:42,115
I...
1490
01:00:42,182 --> 01:00:43,683
I do have this other thigh.
1491
01:00:43,750 --> 01:00:45,285
I could get an updated one...
1492
01:00:47,822 --> 01:00:50,023
You need anything, buddy?
1493
01:00:51,224 --> 01:00:53,960
- I'm good, I guess.
- Not you.
1494
01:00:54,027 --> 01:00:56,029
Yes, I'm fine, Joe.
Thank you.
1495
01:00:58,498 --> 01:01:00,033
That's it,
I think we're done.
1496
01:01:00,100 --> 01:01:01,301
Yeah!
1497
01:01:01,368 --> 01:01:03,937
We did it!
We did it!
1498
01:01:04,004 --> 01:01:06,072
- Oh!
- Oh, I gotta see this!
1499
01:01:06,139 --> 01:01:07,107
Are you ready
to meet yourself?
1500
01:01:07,174 --> 01:01:09,844
- Hold on.
- Three, two, one!
1501
01:01:09,911 --> 01:01:13,213
Oh, my God!
1502
01:01:14,614 --> 01:01:15,783
Whoa!
1503
01:01:15,850 --> 01:01:17,551
That might be the best
tattoo I've ever seen.
1504
01:01:17,617 --> 01:01:19,719
This is definitely better
than the last one.
1505
01:01:21,354 --> 01:01:23,423
My guy.
My guy.
1506
01:01:23,490 --> 01:01:25,592
Jaden, we'll see you
in five years?
1507
01:01:25,659 --> 01:01:27,862
Oh, yeah.
1508
01:01:27,929 --> 01:01:29,362
Hopefully before then.
1509
01:01:42,108 --> 01:01:44,344
I know.
It's just like Ibiza.
1510
01:01:44,411 --> 01:01:45,645
Hey, bud.
What's up?
1511
01:01:47,681 --> 01:01:49,249
Is that the Molly?
1512
01:01:49,316 --> 01:01:51,184
It's not the Molly.
1513
01:01:51,251 --> 01:01:52,686
DJ, bring down the beat.
1514
01:01:54,054 --> 01:01:56,523
Uh, what is this shit?
1515
01:01:56,590 --> 01:01:57,691
What's that, bud?
1516
01:01:59,092 --> 01:02:01,294
Hey, hey, hey!
Here we go!
1517
01:02:01,361 --> 01:02:03,263
Now it's a party!
Later, Q.
1518
01:02:03,898 --> 01:02:05,232
Okay.
1519
01:02:05,298 --> 01:02:06,566
Yep, all right.
1520
01:02:06,633 --> 01:02:08,134
So that's what
he does at night, okay.
1521
01:02:34,962 --> 01:02:36,429
Good boy.
1522
01:02:36,496 --> 01:02:38,799
Did you get the toys I sent?
1523
01:02:39,666 --> 01:02:40,667
Okay.
1524
01:02:40,734 --> 01:02:42,335
Oh, oh, Benjamin?
1525
01:02:42,402 --> 01:02:45,205
Okay, don't,
don't hang up, don't hang up!
1526
01:02:47,842 --> 01:02:48,976
He hung up.
1527
01:02:49,042 --> 01:02:51,012
Well, Brian Quinn
misses his cats.
1528
01:02:51,077 --> 01:02:52,479
Your cats.
I miss my family.
1529
01:02:52,546 --> 01:02:54,114
You know my daughter McKayla?
1530
01:02:54,180 --> 01:02:55,315
She rode her bike
for the first time yesterday.
1531
01:02:55,382 --> 01:02:56,750
- Hmm.
- Wasn't there.
1532
01:02:59,286 --> 01:03:01,488
- Milana?
- Who's that?
1533
01:03:01,555 --> 01:03:03,991
Your daughter.
1534
01:03:04,057 --> 01:03:05,358
Her name's Milana.
1535
01:03:06,794 --> 01:03:08,295
Sweet Jesus.
How long have we been gone?
1536
01:03:08,361 --> 01:03:10,497
- Three days.
- What are we doing?
1537
01:03:10,564 --> 01:03:12,232
All right,
we're four grown men.
1538
01:03:12,299 --> 01:03:13,767
We're out here jacking around,
1539
01:03:13,834 --> 01:03:15,368
trying to fix a mistake
we made when we were kids.
1540
01:03:15,435 --> 01:03:17,571
- It's stupid.
- Yeah, you know what?
1541
01:03:17,637 --> 01:03:19,506
Maybe we didn't think
this one all the way through.
1542
01:03:19,573 --> 01:03:21,441
I've been getting
phone numbers, girls.
1543
01:03:21,508 --> 01:03:23,243
Local girls
that want to meet me.
1544
01:03:23,310 --> 01:03:24,210
But if you guys want to leave
and go home,
1545
01:03:24,277 --> 01:03:25,345
I'm ready to go now.
1546
01:03:25,412 --> 01:03:27,314
- Yeah, yeah, me too.
- I'll go.
1547
01:03:27,380 --> 01:03:28,715
Yeah, I gotta get back to
what's-her-face, come on.
1548
01:03:28,783 --> 01:03:30,885
- All right.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1549
01:03:30,952 --> 01:03:32,019
We're almost there.
1550
01:03:32,085 --> 01:03:33,888
Sal, come on.
Going home, bud.
1551
01:03:33,955 --> 01:03:34,889
- Come on, bud.
- No!
1552
01:03:36,356 --> 01:03:38,625
We're not going anywhere!
1553
01:03:38,692 --> 01:03:40,460
Sal, what are you doing?
1554
01:03:42,395 --> 01:03:43,931
We're gonna finish
what we started.
1555
01:03:43,998 --> 01:03:45,565
He's gone loco.
1556
01:03:45,632 --> 01:03:49,036
I didn't come here all this
way to turn around, to quit!
1557
01:03:49,102 --> 01:03:51,371
I'm not gonna go back home to
Staten Island so they can say,
1558
01:03:51,438 --> 01:03:53,808
"You know that great guy,
Sal Vulcano
1559
01:03:53,874 --> 01:03:56,443
and his friends that he has,
they turned around.
1560
01:03:56,509 --> 01:04:00,447
They went all the way down
to Georgia."
1561
01:04:01,782 --> 01:04:02,883
Not today, babies!
1562
01:04:05,518 --> 01:04:07,721
- Oh.
- I did it.
1563
01:04:09,389 --> 01:04:11,157
Shut the fuck up.
1564
01:04:11,224 --> 01:04:12,525
It's fine, all right?
We'll stay.
1565
01:04:12,592 --> 01:04:14,327
We'll keep going.
Whatever you need, buddy.
1566
01:04:14,394 --> 01:04:15,997
We were just tired,
got a little homesick.
1567
01:04:16,063 --> 01:04:17,798
Yeah.
Put the board down.
1568
01:04:19,499 --> 01:04:21,768
Okay, great, 'cause as long
as we come to an agreement,
1569
01:04:21,836 --> 01:04:23,203
'cause I just want
to see Abdul.
1570
01:04:23,269 --> 01:04:24,771
- Communicate.
- Thank you guys.
1571
01:04:24,839 --> 01:04:26,139
All you had to do is say
let's keep going, we'll go.
1572
01:04:26,206 --> 01:04:27,707
- I get emotional.
- We'll do it.
1573
01:04:27,774 --> 01:04:29,844
You weren't really gonna
hit us with that, were you?
1574
01:04:29,910 --> 01:04:31,078
For me, it's unclear.
1575
01:04:38,518 --> 01:04:40,888
I think this car breaks down
on the side of most roads,
1576
01:04:40,955 --> 01:04:42,422
people are gonna stop and help.
1577
01:04:42,489 --> 01:04:43,991
- I agree.
- Yeah, I think so.
1578
01:04:44,058 --> 01:04:45,592
I think they will
stop to help,
1579
01:04:45,659 --> 01:04:47,895
but the question is, how long
will they stick around?
1580
01:04:47,962 --> 01:04:50,831
- Until, until it gets weird.
- Until it gets weird.
1581
01:04:50,898 --> 01:04:52,732
How weird should we make it,
is the real question.
1582
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:55,368
- Guys, did we just make plans?
- I think we did.
1583
01:04:55,435 --> 01:04:57,170
Pull over.
1584
01:04:57,237 --> 01:04:59,305
- We got some work to do.
- You got it.
1585
01:05:01,474 --> 01:05:03,276
Park it right here.
Let's do it.
1586
01:05:07,915 --> 01:05:09,683
- All right, here we go.
- Here we go.
1587
01:05:09,749 --> 01:05:11,384
Sal, you broke down,
unfortunately, buddy.
1588
01:05:11,451 --> 01:05:13,020
Your object is to get people
to stop you to help you.
1589
01:05:13,087 --> 01:05:15,422
Otherwise you're gonna be
standing down on the grass
1590
01:05:15,488 --> 01:05:17,792
next to a car
getting bit by mosquitoes.
1591
01:05:17,858 --> 01:05:20,293
All right, well,
the quickest way to do this
1592
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:21,829
is to just
make them stop, right?
1593
01:05:21,896 --> 01:05:24,098
I'm proud of you, buddy.
You're taking some initiative.
1594
01:05:24,165 --> 01:05:25,665
Whoo!
1595
01:05:26,566 --> 01:05:29,235
She's, uh, she's dead.
1596
01:05:29,302 --> 01:05:30,770
Whoo.
1597
01:05:30,838 --> 01:05:33,506
She went down
a couple miles back.
1598
01:05:37,078 --> 01:05:38,545
Hey, how you doing, man?
1599
01:05:38,611 --> 01:05:41,347
It's two guys, and I think
they might want to kill me.
1600
01:05:41,414 --> 01:05:42,615
Here we go.
1601
01:05:42,682 --> 01:05:44,417
Can't do no harm, no foul.
Bill.
1602
01:05:44,484 --> 01:05:45,786
Hey, how you doing, Bill?
Sal.
1603
01:05:45,853 --> 01:05:47,454
Yeah, my name's Sal.
1604
01:05:47,520 --> 01:05:48,889
- What's your name?
- Mark.
1605
01:05:48,956 --> 01:05:50,356
Usually when something
goes wrong,
1606
01:05:50,423 --> 01:05:51,725
I just blast something
up the tailpipe.
1607
01:05:54,527 --> 01:05:55,695
Usually something goes wrong,
I just
1608
01:05:55,762 --> 01:05:57,198
blast something
up the tailpipe.
1609
01:05:57,263 --> 01:05:58,698
Up the tailpipe?
1610
01:05:58,765 --> 01:06:00,433
Well, I mean,
first rule of thumb, right?
1611
01:06:00,500 --> 01:06:01,735
You get broke down,
you gotta blast something
1612
01:06:01,802 --> 01:06:03,269
right up the tailpipe,
and I was gonna
1613
01:06:03,336 --> 01:06:04,537
blast something,
but I don't have nothing.
1614
01:06:04,604 --> 01:06:05,906
That's what I thought you did.
1615
01:06:05,973 --> 01:06:07,208
- No, no.
- No.
1616
01:06:09,576 --> 01:06:11,511
Guys, why isn't
this fixed yet?
1617
01:06:11,578 --> 01:06:14,115
Yeah, Sal...
1618
01:06:14,181 --> 01:06:15,615
I don't know,
I don't even...
1619
01:06:15,682 --> 01:06:16,951
I wish I knew more
about the thing.
1620
01:06:17,017 --> 01:06:18,718
Well, what's the issue?
It's, I mean...
1621
01:06:18,786 --> 01:06:20,054
I mean, you can't fix it
already or what's going on?
1622
01:06:20,121 --> 01:06:21,554
We don't know
what it's doing.
1623
01:06:21,621 --> 01:06:23,423
I mean, you know,
guys, you've been here
1624
01:06:23,490 --> 01:06:25,192
a couple minutes already, guys.
1625
01:06:25,258 --> 01:06:26,726
Tick-tock, Bill.
1626
01:06:26,794 --> 01:06:28,195
This is really nice of
you guys, 'cause, you know,
1627
01:06:28,261 --> 01:06:29,662
I never would've stopped
for you guys.
1628
01:06:32,199 --> 01:06:34,367
I mean, I gotta be honest,
you fellas are top-notch.
1629
01:06:34,434 --> 01:06:35,535
It's...
1630
01:06:35,602 --> 01:06:36,937
Sal, you gonna say
that line or no?
1631
01:06:37,004 --> 01:06:38,772
Here we go, oh.
1632
01:06:38,839 --> 01:06:41,008
I wouldn't have stopped for you
guys, so that's really nice.
1633
01:06:42,375 --> 01:06:43,778
There wouldn't be no use
to stopping.
1634
01:06:43,844 --> 01:06:45,578
Yeah, right, right,
right, right, right.
1635
01:06:45,645 --> 01:06:47,782
The only thing I could suggest
if you guys were stuck,
1636
01:06:47,848 --> 01:06:49,784
you could blast something
up your tailpipe, though.
1637
01:06:50,985 --> 01:06:52,685
All right, bud,
head around to the trunk.
1638
01:06:52,752 --> 01:06:54,587
We've hidden something
in there for him.
1639
01:06:54,654 --> 01:06:56,689
I think I got something here.
Let me see.
1640
01:07:02,595 --> 01:07:04,098
What the hell is that?
1641
01:07:04,165 --> 01:07:05,665
Okay.
1642
01:07:09,602 --> 01:07:11,172
Yeah, there's no string...
1643
01:07:11,238 --> 01:07:12,705
So, Sal, in the backseat,
1644
01:07:12,772 --> 01:07:13,841
we put a check
for good Samaritans.
1645
01:07:13,908 --> 01:07:16,309
This is, guys...
Mark, Bill...
1646
01:07:16,376 --> 01:07:17,845
This is the check
1647
01:07:19,013 --> 01:07:22,049
for good Samaritans
who stopped
1648
01:07:22,116 --> 01:07:23,650
and pulled over to help me.
1649
01:07:23,716 --> 01:07:25,685
This is a check for 5...
1650
01:07:25,752 --> 01:07:28,022
Take that, Mark, go ahead.
1651
01:07:29,389 --> 01:07:30,623
Hello.
1652
01:07:30,690 --> 01:07:33,093
Mark's still rocking a flip.
1653
01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:35,863
You took the call right in the
middle of the check ceremony.
1654
01:07:35,930 --> 01:07:37,463
So anyway, guys, this is
1655
01:07:37,530 --> 01:07:39,066
from the Staten Island
Credit Union,
1656
01:07:39,133 --> 01:07:40,700
this is a Good Samaritan check
1657
01:07:40,767 --> 01:07:42,236
for $5,000
1658
01:07:42,303 --> 01:07:43,670
for helping people in need.
1659
01:07:43,736 --> 01:07:44,972
- Ain't legal tender.
- Try to rip it.
1660
01:07:45,039 --> 01:07:46,539
You don't want it?
'Cause I'll...
1661
01:07:46,606 --> 01:07:48,608
Yeah, yeah, don't tear that,
don't tear that.
1662
01:07:48,675 --> 01:07:50,476
Oh.
1663
01:07:50,543 --> 01:07:52,012
Thank you.
Bill, that's for you, man.
1664
01:07:56,317 --> 01:07:57,617
Murr,
you're walking funny.
1665
01:07:57,684 --> 01:07:59,019
Yeah, no kidding
I'm walking funny, Joe.
1666
01:07:59,086 --> 01:08:00,486
Is it because of that thong
we put on you?
1667
01:08:00,553 --> 01:08:01,754
What thong?
This thong?
1668
01:08:01,822 --> 01:08:03,590
There it is.
1669
01:08:04,258 --> 01:08:05,625
Dude, thank you.
1670
01:08:05,692 --> 01:08:07,328
What's your name, bud?
What is it? I'm sorry.
1671
01:08:07,393 --> 01:08:08,595
- Dennis.
- Dennis, I'm James.
1672
01:08:08,661 --> 01:08:09,930
I appreciate
you stopping, Denise.
1673
01:08:09,997 --> 01:08:11,764
I appreciate you stopping...
1674
01:08:13,801 --> 01:08:15,401
I appreciate you
stopping, Denise.
1675
01:08:15,468 --> 01:08:17,004
I don't know
the first thing.
1676
01:08:17,071 --> 01:08:18,738
Come around here, I'll show you
what I noticed before.
1677
01:08:18,806 --> 01:08:21,242
I noticed that before it was
smoking primarily from
1678
01:08:21,308 --> 01:08:22,375
from this area here.
1679
01:08:22,442 --> 01:08:23,543
I ain't got time
for this, man.
1680
01:08:23,610 --> 01:08:25,112
- I don't even know.
- No?
1681
01:08:28,816 --> 01:08:30,351
- Murr loses again.
- Son of a bitch.
1682
01:08:30,416 --> 01:08:31,684
Did I just lose?
1683
01:08:31,751 --> 01:08:33,254
Did I just lose?
A thong was his weakness?
1684
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:35,455
- Murr, you gotta go again.
- Yeah.
1685
01:08:35,521 --> 01:08:37,724
What, is this like
double or nothing?
1686
01:08:37,791 --> 01:08:39,860
Thank you so much, man.
I appreciate it.
1687
01:08:39,927 --> 01:08:41,527
- James. Nice to meet you, bud.
- Good to meet you, man.
1688
01:08:41,594 --> 01:08:42,963
Here's what happened,
so I'm driving before.
1689
01:08:43,030 --> 01:08:45,266
But I don't even know
what I'm looking at, bro.
1690
01:08:45,332 --> 01:08:46,699
Want to have a laugh?
1691
01:08:46,766 --> 01:08:48,501
Fake strangle me
when the next car pulls by.
1692
01:08:48,568 --> 01:08:49,669
You want to have
a little fun? Watch.
1693
01:08:49,736 --> 01:08:51,372
Okay, okay, okay, go.
1694
01:08:51,437 --> 01:08:53,173
When this guy pulls by, pretend
you're strangling me, okay?
1695
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:54,674
Gonna do it.
1696
01:08:54,741 --> 01:08:56,409
Flail your arms.
Flail your arms!
1697
01:08:56,476 --> 01:08:58,812
- Flail, your arms.
- No, keep going. Don't stop now!
1698
01:09:03,884 --> 01:09:05,953
Dude!
1699
01:09:07,453 --> 01:09:08,521
Nailed it.
1700
01:09:08,588 --> 01:09:10,623
Thanks, bud.
That was awesome.
1701
01:09:10,690 --> 01:09:12,492
You know what, dude, I'm so
glad that you pulled over.
1702
01:09:12,558 --> 01:09:13,994
I'm so glad you pulled over.
1703
01:09:14,061 --> 01:09:15,662
I was afraid it was
gonna be a woman and then...
1704
01:09:15,728 --> 01:09:17,164
I was afraid...
Nope, nope.
1705
01:09:18,631 --> 01:09:19,934
Nope, nope, nope.
1706
01:09:22,702 --> 01:09:24,604
Car's a real lemon
right now, buddy.
1707
01:09:24,671 --> 01:09:26,874
There you go.
1708
01:09:26,941 --> 01:09:28,876
Oh, oh.
1709
01:09:28,943 --> 01:09:29,910
Oh, thank God.
1710
01:09:29,977 --> 01:09:31,444
Jump up and down
you're so excited.
1711
01:09:31,511 --> 01:09:34,647
- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, yay.
1712
01:09:34,714 --> 01:09:36,150
Clap, clap, clap.
1713
01:09:36,216 --> 01:09:37,952
Yeah, yeah.
1714
01:09:38,018 --> 01:09:39,820
Turn around, do it
in circles, do it in circles.
1715
01:09:39,887 --> 01:09:42,722
I have been waiting for
somebody to pull over so long.
1716
01:09:42,790 --> 01:09:44,858
Oh, yes!
1717
01:09:46,693 --> 01:09:48,329
Dude, thank you so much.
1718
01:09:48,395 --> 01:09:50,264
Yay.
I love this car, man.
1719
01:09:50,331 --> 01:09:52,800
I've had this car for so long,
and then I was riding,
1720
01:09:52,866 --> 01:09:54,435
I hit a bump,
and then it just...
1721
01:09:54,534 --> 01:09:55,568
It just died.
It won't go again.
1722
01:09:55,635 --> 01:09:56,971
You believe that?
1723
01:09:57,037 --> 01:09:58,738
The old wagon's
down for the count.
1724
01:09:58,806 --> 01:10:00,007
It's just dead, man.
1725
01:10:00,074 --> 01:10:01,241
The wagon's
down for the count.
1726
01:10:01,308 --> 01:10:03,410
Yeah.
1727
01:10:03,476 --> 01:10:05,279
I lost my virginity
in this car.
1728
01:10:05,346 --> 01:10:06,847
So did my older brother.
1729
01:10:06,914 --> 01:10:08,415
- So did my older brother.
- My younger brother.
1730
01:10:08,481 --> 01:10:10,184
- So did my younger brother.
- My sister did.
1731
01:10:10,250 --> 01:10:11,952
My sis,
my sister did.
1732
01:10:12,019 --> 01:10:13,653
It was a hell of a night.
1733
01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:14,922
It was a hell of a night.
1734
01:10:14,989 --> 01:10:16,756
It was,
1735
01:10:16,824 --> 01:10:17,757
it was a hell of a night.
1736
01:10:17,825 --> 01:10:20,060
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1737
01:10:20,127 --> 01:10:21,661
You know what I got
in the trunk?
1738
01:10:21,728 --> 01:10:22,963
Yeah, show him
what you have in the trunk.
1739
01:10:25,265 --> 01:10:27,567
Yeah, that's about
a hundred pounds of cocaine,
1740
01:10:27,633 --> 01:10:29,203
and bags full of cash.
1741
01:10:29,269 --> 01:10:34,041
What we have here is about
a hundred pounds of cocaine...
1742
01:10:34,108 --> 01:10:35,442
You're not DEA, are you?
1743
01:10:35,508 --> 01:10:37,111
You don't work
for the fuzz, do you?
1744
01:10:39,146 --> 01:10:40,347
I'll tell you what, bro.
1745
01:10:40,414 --> 01:10:41,882
- You didn't see nothing.
- Put that back in the car.
1746
01:10:41,949 --> 01:10:42,916
Hurry up.
Here comes a bus.
1747
01:10:42,983 --> 01:10:45,052
This is... A bus?
Oh, shit.
1748
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,822
Do you think anybody saw me?
1749
01:10:48,889 --> 01:10:50,391
Do you think they saw my face?
1750
01:10:53,526 --> 01:10:55,561
You never saw me!
1751
01:11:03,736 --> 01:11:07,573
Guys, this is,
this is a whole thing.
1752
01:11:07,640 --> 01:11:10,511
Joe, for no reason,
stop traffic
1753
01:11:10,576 --> 01:11:12,179
and let cars go
indiscriminately.
1754
01:11:12,246 --> 01:11:13,881
Let's stop a car.
1755
01:11:13,947 --> 01:11:15,615
He's gonna walk
right into the road.
1756
01:11:17,084 --> 01:11:19,685
Okay, take it easy.
I got 17 cars.
1757
01:11:21,388 --> 01:11:23,457
You're in.
1758
01:11:23,524 --> 01:11:24,657
Good.
1759
01:11:24,724 --> 01:11:26,592
Good, good, good.
1760
01:11:26,659 --> 01:11:29,063
Come on, come on.
1761
01:11:30,831 --> 01:11:32,232
Come on, come on, stop.
1762
01:11:36,669 --> 01:11:38,005
There you go.
1763
01:11:38,072 --> 01:11:39,572
Joe, both arms, windmill,
opposite directions.
1764
01:11:39,639 --> 01:11:42,976
There you go.
There you go.
1765
01:11:43,043 --> 01:11:44,978
Guys, nobody will stop
to help me.
1766
01:11:45,045 --> 01:11:47,047
What are you doing?
1767
01:11:47,114 --> 01:11:48,949
Okay, this guy
just pulled over.
1768
01:11:52,553 --> 01:11:54,121
- Hi, I'm Joe.
- Mitch.
1769
01:11:54,188 --> 01:11:56,023
Mitch, good to see you, pal.
So the problem was I was...
1770
01:11:56,090 --> 01:11:57,723
I was driving down this road.
1771
01:11:57,791 --> 01:11:59,059
Keep him walking
around the whole car.
1772
01:11:59,126 --> 01:12:00,994
And then when I saw it,
I hit a bump.
1773
01:12:01,061 --> 01:12:02,728
And then I heard
a da-dunk-dunk-dunk.
1774
01:12:02,796 --> 01:12:04,565
Come on.
And a hit a buh-bump-bump.
1775
01:12:04,630 --> 01:12:07,134
And then when I hit it,
I heard a jiggle-jiggle here.
1776
01:12:07,201 --> 01:12:08,168
There was a jiggle.
1777
01:12:08,235 --> 01:12:09,403
Take him around
the whole car.
1778
01:12:09,470 --> 01:12:10,736
Then on the other side here...
1779
01:12:10,804 --> 01:12:12,473
Joe, I need,
I need two full rotations.
1780
01:12:12,539 --> 01:12:13,907
This is here,
this is one car.
1781
01:12:13,974 --> 01:12:15,476
- This is one.
- Come on, take a walk with me.
1782
01:12:15,542 --> 01:12:17,845
So I saw back here that
this wheel started to like,
1783
01:12:17,911 --> 01:12:19,745
if you look, like,
this is on pretty good.
1784
01:12:19,813 --> 01:12:21,248
- Okay.
- But the other one,
1785
01:12:21,315 --> 01:12:22,816
come on here, Mitch,
let me show you real quick.
1786
01:12:22,883 --> 01:12:24,284
Oh, no, now you went
the other way. Shit.
1787
01:12:24,351 --> 01:12:26,752
- He's undoing it, Joe!
- You're undoing...
1788
01:12:26,820 --> 01:12:28,222
You're undoing the loop.
No, you gotta come this way.
1789
01:12:28,288 --> 01:12:29,823
- Yeah.
- So now we're back on track.
1790
01:12:29,890 --> 01:12:31,757
So this will be
a second rotation, yeah.
1791
01:12:31,825 --> 01:12:32,960
This hubcap is off.
1792
01:12:33,026 --> 01:12:34,795
The other side,
the two came off.
1793
01:12:34,862 --> 01:12:36,964
- Okay.
- This one here, hubcap.
1794
01:12:37,030 --> 01:12:38,465
So I got two hubcaps.
So now...
1795
01:12:38,532 --> 01:12:40,633
I think I actually need
three rotations, Joe.
1796
01:12:40,700 --> 01:12:42,536
Damn it.
How many rotations?
1797
01:12:42,603 --> 01:12:43,904
You need one more.
1798
01:12:43,971 --> 01:12:45,339
What are you trying
to accomplish here, Joe?
1799
01:12:45,405 --> 01:12:46,639
- Oh, me?
- Yeah.
1800
01:12:46,706 --> 01:12:48,108
Oh, no, I'm trying to get
the car to start.
1801
01:12:48,175 --> 01:12:49,243
But I walked you through
what happened, come here.
1802
01:12:49,309 --> 01:12:50,477
Mitch, Mitch...
1803
01:12:50,544 --> 01:12:52,246
You gotta look at this,
Mitch. Mitch, Mitch!
1804
01:12:52,312 --> 01:12:54,381
- Hold on, hold on.
- Joe, start hiding from him.
1805
01:12:54,448 --> 01:12:56,049
But I don't need...
1806
01:12:56,116 --> 01:12:57,484
Joe, he's not
gonna chase you.
1807
01:12:57,551 --> 01:12:58,886
- Come on, Joe!
- Hey, man,
1808
01:12:58,952 --> 01:13:01,488
you're gonna make me
leave you, man, okay?
1809
01:13:01,555 --> 01:13:03,790
- Hey, man, I'm gone, man.
- No, no, Mitch, look at this!
1810
01:13:03,857 --> 01:13:06,260
No.
1811
01:13:06,326 --> 01:13:08,061
Mitch, but look, you gotta
look at this last one.
1812
01:13:08,128 --> 01:13:09,563
- Come here.
- Mitch.
1813
01:13:09,630 --> 01:13:10,931
Mitch, you're my best friend.
1814
01:13:10,998 --> 01:13:12,966
We're best friends, Mitch.
Mitch.
1815
01:13:13,033 --> 01:13:14,734
All I'm trying to do
is help you.
1816
01:13:14,801 --> 01:13:16,069
- I know, I'm trying...
- You want to help me,
1817
01:13:16,136 --> 01:13:17,538
go around the car
one more time!
1818
01:13:17,604 --> 01:13:18,539
- One more time.
- Okay?
1819
01:13:18,605 --> 01:13:19,806
- Guess what.
- What?
1820
01:13:19,873 --> 01:13:21,575
- You gotta follow me.
- Okay. Deal.
1821
01:13:21,642 --> 01:13:23,410
I'm following you, Mitch.
1822
01:13:23,477 --> 01:13:24,710
- Joe...
- It's okay.
1823
01:13:24,778 --> 01:13:26,313
Joe, after this,
I'm going home.
1824
01:13:26,380 --> 01:13:28,215
Okay, you accomplished
your goal.
1825
01:13:28,282 --> 01:13:30,083
I did.
I did accomplish my goal.
1826
01:13:30,150 --> 01:13:31,585
- And you have a good day.
- That's it.
1827
01:13:31,652 --> 01:13:33,587
Mitch,
you're unbelievable, buddy.
1828
01:13:33,654 --> 01:13:34,788
Thank you so much.
1829
01:13:34,855 --> 01:13:36,323
That's how you hit home runs.
1830
01:13:36,390 --> 01:13:37,624
Great work, boys.
1831
01:13:44,398 --> 01:13:46,833
Lovely Florida.
Oh, what do we have here?
1832
01:13:46,900 --> 01:13:48,202
Check it out.
1833
01:13:48,268 --> 01:13:51,071
Murr's our loser!
1834
01:13:51,138 --> 01:13:52,506
Oh!
1835
01:13:52,573 --> 01:13:54,408
Murr is forever our loser.
1836
01:13:54,474 --> 01:13:56,143
No Abdul for you, baby.
1837
01:13:56,210 --> 01:13:58,744
♪ She gon' make you
Move to Miami ♪
1838
01:13:58,812 --> 01:14:00,948
♪ She moving like a gypsy ♪
1839
01:14:01,014 --> 01:14:02,416
♪ Her body got me tipsy ♪
1840
01:14:02,482 --> 01:14:04,017
- Look at this!
- We have arrived.
1841
01:14:04,084 --> 01:14:06,719
Oh, look at this.
1842
01:14:06,787 --> 01:14:08,989
♪ Girl got me
Feeling risky ♪
1843
01:14:12,092 --> 01:14:14,294
Welcome to Miami, gentlemen.
Checking in?
1844
01:14:14,361 --> 01:14:16,263
You bet your sweet ass
we're checking in,
1845
01:14:16,330 --> 01:14:18,298
you bedroom-eyed baby bitch,
just kidding.
1846
01:14:18,365 --> 01:14:20,601
- We need help with luggage?
- We straight!
1847
01:14:20,667 --> 01:14:21,767
All good here, dawg.
1848
01:14:21,835 --> 01:14:24,338
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
1849
01:14:24,404 --> 01:14:26,607
Door!
1850
01:14:26,673 --> 01:14:28,709
Hey, watch the leather.
1851
01:14:28,774 --> 01:14:30,644
Good joke.
1852
01:14:30,711 --> 01:14:32,112
♪ We gon' party ♪
1853
01:14:32,179 --> 01:14:33,914
♪ Freaking every weekend ♪
1854
01:14:33,981 --> 01:14:36,850
♪ Baby, we just
getting started ♪
1855
01:14:42,089 --> 01:14:43,490
♪ Damn, you got me, girl ♪
1856
01:14:43,557 --> 01:14:46,226
♪ That body's built
Like a Bugatti ♪
1857
01:14:46,293 --> 01:14:48,428
♪ And if you look,
You'll fall in love ♪
1858
01:14:48,495 --> 01:14:50,864
♪ She got that ass,
She make... ♪
1859
01:14:50,931 --> 01:14:53,300
It's always...
1860
01:14:53,367 --> 01:14:54,868
I gotta go back down!
1861
01:15:03,110 --> 01:15:04,711
♪ She gon' make you move
to Miami ♪
1862
01:15:04,778 --> 01:15:06,580
- VIPs.
- What do you think?
1863
01:15:06,647 --> 01:15:07,914
What do you think?
VIP!
1864
01:15:07,981 --> 01:15:09,816
Stands for
"Very Important Man."
1865
01:15:09,883 --> 01:15:11,551
- Abdul!
- Get to the party.
1866
01:15:11,618 --> 01:15:13,020
Abdul!
1867
01:15:15,389 --> 01:15:18,592
Abdul! Abdul! Abdul!
1868
01:15:20,127 --> 01:15:22,229
Abdul! Abdul!
Abdul!
1869
01:15:29,069 --> 01:15:30,771
Wow,
look at this place, huh?
1870
01:15:30,837 --> 01:15:33,206
Whoa.
Oh, yeah.
1871
01:15:33,273 --> 01:15:34,708
Door.
1872
01:15:34,776 --> 01:15:37,244
- This is crazy.
- Wow. Check it.
1873
01:15:37,311 --> 01:15:39,079
Yeah, but we made it, boys.
1874
01:15:39,146 --> 01:15:40,647
It's us, settle down.
Everybody settle down.
1875
01:15:42,784 --> 01:15:44,284
- You have a finger...
- Very good, all right.
1876
01:15:44,351 --> 01:15:47,254
...in your ass
on television!
1877
01:15:47,321 --> 01:15:49,356
There you go.
1878
01:15:51,692 --> 01:15:53,860
This is so nice.
1879
01:15:53,927 --> 01:15:55,495
- Paula.
- Hey, Paula.
1880
01:15:55,562 --> 01:15:57,831
Hey, guys, how are you?
You made it.
1881
01:15:57,898 --> 01:15:59,366
- Where's Murr?
- Who he?
1882
01:15:59,433 --> 01:16:01,635
Oh, it turns out
there was only three tickets.
1883
01:16:01,702 --> 01:16:04,304
So we decided to compete
in a hidden camera challenge...
1884
01:16:06,707 --> 01:16:08,875
You guys are hysterical.
1885
01:16:11,645 --> 01:16:13,146
Okay.
1886
01:16:16,083 --> 01:16:19,720
- Well, there's our table.
- She thinks I'm hysterical.
1887
01:16:19,787 --> 01:16:20,921
- That's nice.
- You are funny.
1888
01:16:20,987 --> 01:16:23,590
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
1889
01:16:23,657 --> 01:16:28,395
♪ Come on and look me
In the face ♪
1890
01:16:28,462 --> 01:16:31,331
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
1891
01:16:31,398 --> 01:16:35,135
♪ Is bringing you down ♪
1892
01:16:35,202 --> 01:16:37,604
♪ Is it the rumor ♪
1893
01:16:37,671 --> 01:16:40,006
♪ That another boy ♪
1894
01:16:40,073 --> 01:16:43,677
♪ Wants to take your place ♪
1895
01:16:43,744 --> 01:16:46,947
♪ Have you been
Hearing the stories ♪
1896
01:16:47,013 --> 01:16:49,416
♪ They're going around ♪
1897
01:16:49,483 --> 01:16:50,650
So funny.
1898
01:16:50,717 --> 01:16:53,186
That looks like Murr
from Impractical Jokers.
1899
01:16:53,253 --> 01:16:55,255
No way.
He looks too sad and lonely.
1900
01:16:55,322 --> 01:16:56,990
Yeah, and they're never
seen alone.
1901
01:16:57,057 --> 01:16:58,358
- They're tight like that.
- Yeah.
1902
01:16:58,425 --> 01:17:01,027
So anyways,
like I was saying, she...
1903
01:17:01,094 --> 01:17:02,696
♪ The moon
And the stars above ♪
1904
01:17:02,763 --> 01:17:04,698
Okay, so when you're making
a balsamic reduction,
1905
01:17:04,765 --> 01:17:06,767
you really want to have
the flame at a nice simmer.
1906
01:17:06,834 --> 01:17:08,468
If the heat is too hot,
it's not gonna reduce
1907
01:17:08,535 --> 01:17:10,070
the way you want it,
and the most important part
1908
01:17:10,137 --> 01:17:12,172
is to put the drizzle
right when it's hot.
1909
01:17:12,239 --> 01:17:14,474
And that's chicken, salads,
fish dishes, whatever?
1910
01:17:14,541 --> 01:17:16,710
Any dish.
It's about the presentaish.
1911
01:18:00,687 --> 01:18:01,988
What are you doing?
1912
01:18:02,055 --> 01:18:03,590
Kinda getting back into it
a little bit.
1913
01:18:03,657 --> 01:18:04,724
It looks like you're hurt.
1914
01:18:04,792 --> 01:18:06,426
Nah, I feel great.
1915
01:18:06,493 --> 01:18:09,129
- That does not look like you think it looks, buddy.
- Yeah.
1916
01:18:09,196 --> 01:18:10,997
I don't know
if I agree with you.
1917
01:18:11,064 --> 01:18:13,667
Everyone here agrees with us.
1918
01:18:14,601 --> 01:18:16,002
All right, all right.
1919
01:18:16,069 --> 01:18:17,404
All right,
we need Murray back,
1920
01:18:17,471 --> 01:18:19,072
'cause we're starting
to turn on each other.
1921
01:18:19,139 --> 01:18:20,373
You know, it just doesn't
feel right without Murr.
1922
01:18:20,440 --> 01:18:22,075
Because he's not here,
I'll admit it.
1923
01:18:22,142 --> 01:18:23,376
I miss him a little.
1924
01:18:23,443 --> 01:18:25,212
What are we even
still doing here?
1925
01:18:25,278 --> 01:18:26,713
We accomplished
what we set out to do.
1926
01:18:26,781 --> 01:18:29,182
We didn't mess up the night.
I'm not having fun.
1927
01:18:29,249 --> 01:18:31,518
We're nowhere near
Paula anyway.
1928
01:18:31,585 --> 01:18:34,254
Why don't we make like a tree
and go make fun of Murray?
1929
01:18:34,321 --> 01:18:36,156
- Yeah.
- All right.
1930
01:18:44,064 --> 01:18:47,133
Look at this vanilla angel.
1931
01:18:47,969 --> 01:18:49,469
He's magnificent.
1932
01:18:49,536 --> 01:18:51,438
You glorious,
luminous ferret.
1933
01:18:51,505 --> 01:18:53,773
I made the cut.
I made the cut.
1934
01:18:53,841 --> 01:18:55,542
I'm in, boys.
1935
01:18:55,609 --> 01:18:57,677
You just had to come,
didn't you?
1936
01:18:57,744 --> 01:18:59,346
The unmitigated gall, bro.
1937
01:18:59,412 --> 01:19:01,281
I mean, you lost
and you show up?
1938
01:19:01,348 --> 01:19:03,049
- What about the rules?
- Yeah, I mean...
1939
01:19:03,116 --> 01:19:05,051
we're gonna pass Go
and collect $200?
1940
01:19:05,118 --> 01:19:06,253
We're breaking rules?
1941
01:19:06,319 --> 01:19:07,654
I'm not playing Monopoly
like that!
1942
01:19:07,721 --> 01:19:08,956
Really?
1943
01:19:09,022 --> 01:19:10,490
I thought you guys
would be realizing
1944
01:19:10,557 --> 01:19:12,058
that the four of us
are better together.
1945
01:19:12,125 --> 01:19:14,896
This place is thebomb.com.
1946
01:19:14,962 --> 01:19:16,530
There's Paula Abdul.
1947
01:19:16,596 --> 01:19:17,531
Paula!
1948
01:19:17,597 --> 01:19:20,033
- Right, she's right there.
- Hi.
1949
01:19:22,435 --> 01:19:24,204
She's clocking us
in a weird way.
1950
01:19:30,443 --> 01:19:32,780
- It's them.
- You bald idiot.
1951
01:19:32,847 --> 01:19:34,080
You wore the jacket.
1952
01:19:34,147 --> 01:19:36,349
It's them.
1953
01:19:36,416 --> 01:19:38,819
She's put it all together.
We gotta get out of here.
1954
01:19:38,886 --> 01:19:39,954
Run!
1955
01:19:40,021 --> 01:19:41,789
My throat!
1956
01:19:45,592 --> 01:19:47,627
Suck it, Abdul!
1957
01:19:47,694 --> 01:19:48,728
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
1958
01:19:50,063 --> 01:19:51,364
Hey, baby!
1959
01:19:54,134 --> 01:19:55,302
- Sal!
- His throat!
1960
01:19:55,368 --> 01:19:58,538
- My beautiful boy.
- Buddy, buddy.
1961
01:19:58,605 --> 01:20:01,141
- Take 'em out back.
- Who are you?
1962
01:20:01,207 --> 01:20:02,576
I run this town.
1963
01:20:02,642 --> 01:20:05,679
Not the cartel.
Not the Yakuza.
1964
01:20:05,745 --> 01:20:06,814
Abdul.
1965
01:20:06,881 --> 01:20:08,849
You're evil.
And you, you're a monster.
1966
01:20:08,916 --> 01:20:11,651
You know, I'm gonna make you
forever my bitch!
1967
01:20:15,890 --> 01:20:17,892
No!
1968
01:20:22,964 --> 01:20:24,664
And this is where
our story should end.
1969
01:20:24,731 --> 01:20:26,867
I mean, we really screwed
the night up.
1970
01:20:26,934 --> 01:20:29,536
My sweet, sweet Sal was tased.
1971
01:20:29,603 --> 01:20:31,806
I'm saving him
like a real man, sure,
1972
01:20:31,872 --> 01:20:34,075
but Murr is screaming
like a little ferret.
1973
01:20:34,140 --> 01:20:35,508
Paula's good and pissed.
1974
01:20:35,575 --> 01:20:38,111
And Joe...
Wait, where is Joe?
1975
01:20:38,178 --> 01:20:40,347
Hey, Paula.
1976
01:20:40,413 --> 01:20:42,917
I mean, I came here
to party, right?
1977
01:20:44,317 --> 01:20:46,921
I got this, boys.
1978
01:20:46,988 --> 01:20:48,823
♪ Make money, money,
Make money, money ♪
1979
01:20:48,889 --> 01:20:50,992
♪ Make money, money,
Make money, money, hey ♪
1980
01:20:51,058 --> 01:20:52,960
♪ Take money, money,
Take money, money ♪
1981
01:20:53,027 --> 01:20:54,895
♪ Take money, money,
Take money, money, hey ♪
1982
01:20:54,962 --> 01:20:57,230
♪ Save money, money,
Save money, money, money ♪
1983
01:20:57,297 --> 01:20:59,432
♪ Save money, money,
save money, money, money ♪
1984
01:20:59,499 --> 01:21:01,434
♪ 401(k), 401(k) ♪
1985
01:21:01,501 --> 01:21:03,670
♪ 401(k), 401(k) ♪
1986
01:21:03,737 --> 01:21:04,704
DJ, flip it.
1987
01:21:04,771 --> 01:21:07,041
Paula, get your Abdul ass
up here.
1988
01:21:12,145 --> 01:21:14,381
- ♪ Hey, baby ♪
- Oh, oh!
1989
01:21:14,447 --> 01:21:17,317
- ♪ You gotta remember ♪
- I remember.
1990
01:21:17,384 --> 01:21:18,886
♪ I'm forever your girl ♪
1991
01:21:18,953 --> 01:21:21,421
- For how long?
- ♪ Baby, forever ♪
1992
01:21:21,488 --> 01:21:25,158
♪ And ever and ever,
You know I am ♪
1993
01:21:25,225 --> 01:21:26,559
Yeah, let's do it!
1994
01:21:26,626 --> 01:21:29,897
Give it up for Joe
and the Impractical Jokers.
1995
01:21:29,964 --> 01:21:31,164
They're in the house,
1996
01:21:31,231 --> 01:21:33,433
and they drove
the whole way here.
1997
01:21:35,201 --> 01:21:36,569
She forgives us!
1998
01:21:42,542 --> 01:21:44,511
♪ Baby, pick your head up ♪
1999
01:21:44,577 --> 01:21:46,047
Pick your head up.
Pick your head up.
2000
01:21:46,113 --> 01:21:50,417
♪ Come on
And look me in the face ♪
2001
01:21:50,483 --> 01:21:52,920
♪ 'Cause I can tell
That something ♪
2002
01:21:52,987 --> 01:21:55,056
- What?
- ♪ Is bringing you down ♪
2003
01:21:55,122 --> 01:21:57,357
Paula Abdul!
2004
01:21:57,424 --> 01:21:58,959
You did it!
2005
01:21:59,026 --> 01:22:02,063
♪ Baby, just remember,
I gave you my heart ♪
2006
01:22:02,129 --> 01:22:03,596
Tell me!
2007
01:22:03,663 --> 01:22:06,133
♪ Ain't no one
Gonna tear us apart ♪
2008
01:22:06,199 --> 01:22:08,568
- ♪ He can promise the moon ♪
- Hands in the air!
2009
01:22:08,635 --> 01:22:10,871
♪ And the stars above ♪
2010
01:22:10,938 --> 01:22:14,875
♪ Even if he promised me
The world ♪
2011
01:22:21,681 --> 01:22:24,551
Wow, I love Miami.
2012
01:22:24,617 --> 01:22:26,486
What a night.
What a night!
2013
01:22:26,553 --> 01:22:28,055
- Yes!
- Unbelievable.
2014
01:22:28,122 --> 01:22:30,991
Man, I'm so glad I threatened
your lives with that 2x4.
2015
01:22:32,193 --> 01:22:34,061
- Fellas, I love you.
- Yeah.
2016
01:22:34,128 --> 01:22:35,129
You're my best friends.
2017
01:22:35,196 --> 01:22:36,797
Epic, epic night, guys.
2018
01:22:36,864 --> 01:22:40,734
Yeah, I don't say
this enough, but I... I...
2019
01:22:40,801 --> 01:22:43,003
Hey, Fatone, you mind
keeping it down back there?
2020
01:22:43,070 --> 01:22:45,472
- We're trying to have a moment.
- Sorry.
2021
01:22:45,538 --> 01:22:47,607
I thought
I had known everything
2022
01:22:47,674 --> 01:22:48,976
there was to know about us,
2023
01:22:49,043 --> 01:22:50,543
but I learned
a few things on this trip.
2024
01:22:50,610 --> 01:22:52,278
Sal loves tigers.
2025
01:22:52,345 --> 01:22:55,648
Yeah, Murr loves going to strip
clubs with his young nieces.
2026
01:22:55,715 --> 01:22:57,650
Q's parents love
softcore porn.
2027
01:22:57,717 --> 01:22:59,220
- No, no, they do not.
- They do.
2028
01:22:59,285 --> 01:23:00,888
- They do not. They do not.
- They do, they produce it.
2029
01:23:00,955 --> 01:23:02,689
I'll tell you
what the biggest thing, though,
2030
01:23:02,756 --> 01:23:04,324
that surprised me
was how good of a hype man
2031
01:23:04,390 --> 01:23:06,392
- Joe turned out to be after all.
- Right?
2032
01:23:06,459 --> 01:23:09,395
Not bad, buddy.
2033
01:23:09,462 --> 01:23:11,899
I should talk to you boys
about something.
2034
01:23:11,966 --> 01:23:13,466
An offer came in.
2035
01:23:13,533 --> 01:23:15,301
Abdul wants me to go
full-time as her hype man.
2036
01:23:15,368 --> 01:23:17,470
World tour.
Unbelievable.
2037
01:23:17,537 --> 01:23:20,340
Seven-figure salary,
401(k), full benefits.
2038
01:23:20,406 --> 01:23:22,542
Everything.
2039
01:23:22,609 --> 01:23:25,578
You know, she even offered me
my own reality show.
2040
01:23:25,645 --> 01:23:28,281
"Believe the Hype:
The Joe Gatto Story."
2041
01:23:28,348 --> 01:23:30,350
I got a tricycle for McKayla.
2042
01:23:30,416 --> 01:23:31,584
Milana.
2043
01:23:31,651 --> 01:23:33,753
My own helicopter
they're flying in.
2044
01:23:35,022 --> 01:23:36,556
She's gonna get rid
of that tapeworm.
2045
01:23:36,623 --> 01:23:38,424
Oh, you've had that
for years.
2046
01:23:38,491 --> 01:23:39,794
Bye-bye, Charlie.
2047
01:23:39,860 --> 01:23:42,762
Everything I ever wanted
as a full-blown hype man
2048
01:23:42,830 --> 01:23:44,531
delivered on a silver platter.
2049
01:23:44,597 --> 01:23:46,100
Well, what did you say
to her?
2050
01:23:50,271 --> 01:23:51,806
- I said no.
- Oh, thank God!
2051
01:23:51,872 --> 01:23:53,174
I don't want to do it.
She said, "What are you doing?"
2052
01:23:53,240 --> 01:23:54,241
I said,
"I'm forever their boy."
2053
01:23:54,307 --> 01:23:55,976
I straight up told her no-no.
2054
01:23:56,043 --> 01:23:57,077
You know what?
2055
01:23:58,311 --> 01:24:00,080
It's time to go back
to Staten Island.
2056
01:24:00,147 --> 01:24:01,381
Yes, it is.
2057
01:24:01,447 --> 01:24:02,783
Let me just go gas up
Grandma Lucia.
2058
01:24:02,850 --> 01:24:04,551
- We'll hit the road.
- Hold on, fellas.
2059
01:24:04,617 --> 01:24:08,388
Abdul texted me tickets
to go on her private plane.
2060
01:24:08,454 --> 01:24:09,722
- Oh, all right.
- Oh!
2061
01:24:09,790 --> 01:24:11,391
- That's awesome.
- Wait, wait, wait.
2062
01:24:11,457 --> 01:24:13,794
She sent three tickets.
Come on!
2063
01:24:13,861 --> 01:24:15,428
Is she kidding me?
2064
01:24:15,495 --> 01:24:16,729
- And it goes on.
- This is on purpose, right?
2065
01:24:16,797 --> 01:24:18,833
- Does she watch the show?
- Oh, that's great.
2066
01:24:18,899 --> 01:24:20,301
Well, there's four of us.
That's an issue.
2067
01:24:20,366 --> 01:24:21,334
Well, then how
are we gonna decide
2068
01:24:21,401 --> 01:24:22,837
who gets to go on the plane?
2069
01:24:22,903 --> 01:24:24,671
- I think it's been decided.
- Yeah, pretty sure.
2070
01:24:24,737 --> 01:24:26,173
- What do you mean?
- Did you not watch the movie?
2071
01:24:26,240 --> 01:24:28,042
- That's for real, like...
- Yes.
2072
01:24:28,108 --> 01:24:30,510
- Yes, our show is real.
- But that's for real?
2073
01:24:30,577 --> 01:24:32,345
You think you have a shot
at a private?
2074
01:24:32,412 --> 01:24:34,114
Don't worry, we'll...
2075
01:24:34,181 --> 01:24:35,916
♪ The stars above ♪
2076
01:24:35,983 --> 01:24:41,721
♪ Even if he promised me
The world ♪
2077
01:24:41,789 --> 01:24:45,658
♪ Just remember
I'm forever your girl ♪
2078
01:24:46,693 --> 01:24:48,494
Is that it?
Is that the plane?
2079
01:24:48,561 --> 01:24:50,763
Oh, my God, guys.
We are living life.
2080
01:24:50,831 --> 01:24:52,699
- That's a jet.
- Yeah.
2081
01:24:52,765 --> 01:24:55,401
All right, all right.
2082
01:24:55,468 --> 01:24:57,071
So I really can't
fly in the jet?
2083
01:24:57,137 --> 01:24:58,906
Come on.
2084
01:24:58,973 --> 01:25:01,141
What about if I drive
Grandma Lucia home?
2085
01:25:01,208 --> 01:25:03,643
Grandma Lucia's already halfway
back to Staten Island, buddy.
2086
01:25:03,710 --> 01:25:06,213
We're in this.
You're on that.
2087
01:25:10,951 --> 01:25:12,353
Oh, God.
2088
01:25:12,418 --> 01:25:14,454
See you in Staten Island.
2089
01:25:14,520 --> 01:25:16,357
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
2090
01:25:16,422 --> 01:25:17,992
Wait, on?
2091
01:25:27,600 --> 01:25:30,204
- All right, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
2092
01:25:30,271 --> 01:25:32,106
- Cheers.
- Cheers!
2093
01:25:32,172 --> 01:25:33,274
Yes!
2094
01:25:33,340 --> 01:25:35,608
Private plane, Abdul,
no Murray.
2095
01:25:35,675 --> 01:25:38,444
- This is crazy, man.
- Mmm.
2096
01:25:39,847 --> 01:25:41,916
How do you think he's doing?
2097
01:25:45,386 --> 01:25:47,754
♪ I said the joker
Is a wanted man ♪
2098
01:25:47,821 --> 01:25:50,891
♪ He makes his way
All across the land ♪
2099
01:25:50,958 --> 01:25:53,861
♪ See him sifting
Through the sand ♪
2100
01:25:53,928 --> 01:25:55,762
♪ So I'll tell you
All the story ♪
2101
01:25:55,829 --> 01:25:58,198
♪ 'Bout the joker
And the thief in the night ♪
2102
01:26:03,569 --> 01:26:06,273
♪ He's always laughing
In the midst of power ♪
2103
01:26:06,340 --> 01:26:09,709
♪ Always living
In the final hour ♪
2104
01:26:09,777 --> 01:26:12,379
♪ There is always
Sweet in the sour ♪
2105
01:26:12,445 --> 01:26:16,884
♪ So we are not going home ♪
2106
01:26:17,717 --> 01:26:19,186
Oh, God!
2107
01:26:21,754 --> 01:26:26,126
♪ Can you see the joker
Flying over ♪
2108
01:26:27,861 --> 01:26:32,598
♪ As she's standing
In the field of clover ♪
2109
01:26:34,435 --> 01:26:37,237
♪ Watching out every day ♪
2110
01:26:37,304 --> 01:26:39,706
♪ I wonder what would happen
If he took her away ♪
2111
01:26:39,772 --> 01:26:41,474
♪ I'll tell you
All the story ♪
2112
01:26:41,541 --> 01:26:43,643
♪ 'Bout the joker
And the thief in the night ♪
2113
01:26:49,816 --> 01:26:54,816
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2114
01:30:04,111 --> 01:30:06,847
♪ Time's up, time's up,
Time's up, time's up ♪
2115
01:30:06,914 --> 01:30:08,348
♪ Time to knock this shit up ♪
2116
01:30:08,415 --> 01:30:11,451
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2117
01:30:11,518 --> 01:30:15,088
♪ With my crew,
About to light this shit up ♪
2118
01:30:15,155 --> 01:30:17,891
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2119
01:30:17,958 --> 01:30:19,860
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2120
01:30:19,927 --> 01:30:21,061
♪ Joker ♪
2121
01:30:21,128 --> 01:30:23,763
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2122
01:30:23,830 --> 01:30:25,165
♪ Joker ♪
2123
01:30:25,232 --> 01:30:27,334
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2124
01:30:27,401 --> 01:30:28,635
♪ Joker ♪
2125
01:30:28,701 --> 01:30:30,270
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2126
01:30:30,337 --> 01:30:32,639
♪ Joker,
We pull up in the Crown Vic ♪
2127
01:30:32,705 --> 01:30:34,274
♪ We 'bout to clown and shit ♪
2128
01:30:34,341 --> 01:30:36,210
♪ We ate some brownies
At the crib ♪
2129
01:30:36,276 --> 01:30:38,545
♪ We prank and trick,
Straight fooling ♪
2130
01:30:38,612 --> 01:30:40,614
♪ Me and my crew's
In this bitch ♪
2131
01:30:40,681 --> 01:30:43,317
♪ Just coolin',
Me and my dudes, ice pick ♪
2132
01:30:43,383 --> 01:30:45,319
♪ When you see us coming,
We stunting ♪
2133
01:30:45,385 --> 01:30:47,354
♪ Now run and tell that,
The boys ♪
2134
01:30:47,421 --> 01:30:49,590
♪ Are hunting, they gunning,
With nothing held back ♪
2135
01:30:49,656 --> 01:30:51,724
♪ You lose at this game,
You get punished ♪
2136
01:30:51,792 --> 01:30:53,393
♪ And that's a real fact ♪
2137
01:30:53,460 --> 01:30:54,861
♪ You planning on staying,
I'll be honest ♪
2138
01:30:54,928 --> 01:30:56,563
♪ We all... ♪
2139
01:30:56,630 --> 01:30:58,031
♪ Sal, Murr, Joe, Q ♪
2140
01:30:58,098 --> 01:30:59,700
♪ We all about the laughs ♪
2141
01:30:59,765 --> 01:31:01,767
♪ How you gon' react
When the joker's in the back ♪
2142
01:31:01,835 --> 01:31:04,871
♪ And he's all up in your ear,
Cyrano de Bergerac ♪
2143
01:31:04,938 --> 01:31:08,275
♪ So say what I say
This is impractical attack ♪
2144
01:31:08,342 --> 01:31:10,344
♪ Whoa, clock is ticking ♪
2145
01:31:10,410 --> 01:31:12,145
♪ You gon' fold
Or you gon' follow through ♪
2146
01:31:12,212 --> 01:31:15,282
♪ Time's up,
Decide what you gon' do ♪
2147
01:31:15,349 --> 01:31:17,084
♪ Clock is ticking,
You gon' fold ♪
2148
01:31:17,150 --> 01:31:18,685
♪ Or you gon' follow through ♪
2149
01:31:18,751 --> 01:31:21,121
♪ Time's up,
Decide what you gonna do ♪
2150
01:31:21,188 --> 01:31:23,123
♪ Call us comedy cowboys ♪
2151
01:31:23,190 --> 01:31:24,825
♪ We quick with the trigger ♪
2152
01:31:24,891 --> 01:31:27,160
♪ A gang of wisecrackers
Leaving you in stitches ♪
2153
01:31:27,227 --> 01:31:28,996
♪ When you see
These tricksters coming ♪
2154
01:31:29,062 --> 01:31:30,497
♪ You know
They up to something ♪
2155
01:31:30,564 --> 01:31:31,999
♪ Setting you up
To get you cornered ♪
2156
01:31:32,065 --> 01:31:33,467
♪ Execute without warning ♪
2157
01:31:33,533 --> 01:31:36,303
♪ You're the casualty
Of a jokester ♪
2158
01:31:36,370 --> 01:31:38,939
♪ The satirical Casanova ♪
2159
01:31:39,006 --> 01:31:43,010
♪ We swift with the wits,
Seven years still a hit ♪
2160
01:31:43,076 --> 01:31:44,811
♪ Did the movie,
Shit's legit ♪
2161
01:31:44,878 --> 01:31:46,713
- ♪ Impractical humorists ♪
- ♪ Impractical ♪
2162
01:31:46,780 --> 01:31:49,583
♪ Impractical because
I'm cold when I'm hot ♪
2163
01:31:49,650 --> 01:31:52,819
♪ I run a marathon
In flip-flops ♪
2164
01:31:52,886 --> 01:31:54,288
♪ Impractical ♪
2165
01:31:54,354 --> 01:31:56,490
♪ I'm the one
And then I'm not ♪
2166
01:31:56,556 --> 01:31:58,625
♪ I rose to the top
When I dropped ♪
2167
01:31:58,692 --> 01:32:01,895
♪ Time's up,
Time to knock this shit up ♪
2168
01:32:01,962 --> 01:32:05,232
♪ I'm a joker,
Impractically nuts ♪
2169
01:32:05,299 --> 01:32:08,168
♪ With my crew,
About to light this shit up ♪
2170
01:32:08,235 --> 01:32:11,138
♪ I'm a joker,
I'm practically nuts ♪
2171
01:32:11,204 --> 01:32:14,374
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2172
01:32:14,441 --> 01:32:15,942
♪ Joker ♪
2173
01:32:16,009 --> 01:32:17,844
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2174
01:32:17,911 --> 01:32:19,179
♪ Joker ♪
2175
01:32:19,246 --> 01:32:20,881
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2176
01:32:20,947 --> 01:32:22,082
♪ Joker ♪
2177
01:32:22,149 --> 01:32:23,884
♪ Impractical, impractical ♪
2178
01:32:23,950 --> 01:32:25,185
♪ Joker ♪
2179
01:32:26,230 --> 01:32:32,627
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