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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,402
¶¶
2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:05,237
Mail's here!
3
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:10,175
Look, it's our annual rejection
letter from Family Feud.
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,777
A mustache hair.
5
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,579
Oh, my God.
6
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:16,181
Steve Harvey licked
that envelope himself.
7
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,384
Wait, this isn't
a rejection letter.
8
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,552
It's an invitation to
the second phase
9
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,887
of the application process --
10
00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,756
"filling out
a questionnaire"!
11
00:00:23,758 --> 00:00:25,357
-(squeals)
-Oh, yeah!
12
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,426
But we've got to be
very careful filling it out.
13
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,194
Says here we can't get
another one.
14
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:30,929
It's
only one question long --
15
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,798
"What is the funniest thing
16
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,867
that has ever happened
to your family?"
17
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,970
I could think of 300 funny
things that have happened to us.
18
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:40,439
(scoffs)
300 funny things.
19
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:43,242
I can think
of 400 funny things.
20
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,410
I could think of a million.
21
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:45,444
Okay, do 50.
22
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:46,945
Okay, first one...
23
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,418
¶¶
24
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:55,320
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
25
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:58,590
¶ I got a feelin' thatit's gonna be a wonderful day ¶
26
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,794
¶ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ¶
27
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:06,098
¶ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ¶
28
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:11,403
¶ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
29
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,839
-¶ Good -- ¶
-¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
30
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:14,940
Aah!
31
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,611
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
32
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:22,114
¶¶
33
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,916
This is
Family Feud, guys.
34
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,617
We need our A-1 stuff.
35
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,087
What's the funniest thing
that's ever happened to us?
36
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:31,123
I heard a funny word
at the doctor yesterday --
37
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,624
"terminal."
38
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:33,759
That's an airport word!
39
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,360
I have a funny one.
40
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,696
Remember the time
Dad got locked in the stockades
41
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,364
in Colonial Williamsburg?
42
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,700
Sorry I knocked over
that plant, Dad.
43
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,469
They say they'll let you out
at the end of the day.
44
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:44,770
Uh, guys?
45
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,038
I started a small
electrical fire
46
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,506
in Ye Olde Candlery.
47
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,209
-We gotta run!
-Aah!
48
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,711
I forgot
Roger really ruined that trip.
49
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,514
Ooh! How about that time
we saw Seinfeld in Hawaii?
50
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,016
I think that's Seinfeld
at the omelet station.
51
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,518
You just know
he's observing
52
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,386
some really funny stuff
right now.
53
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:04,156
Guys, I accidentally
triggered an active volcano.
54
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:06,158
-We gotta run!
-(all gasp)
55
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,995
SEINFELD: What's the deal
with all this lava?
56
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,864
Damn it!
Roger ruined that, too!
57
00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:14,500
Ooh! What about the time
we went to that super fancy
58
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,335
underground cheese shop?
59
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:20,372
I can't believe this is the day
I finally get to try Gouda!
60
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:23,008
Guys, I accidentally triggered
an active volcano.
61
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,210
-We gotta run!
-(all gasp)
62
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:29,848
SEINFELD: And this was the day
I was finally gonna try Gouda!
63
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,484
Can't we think of one memory
that wasn't ruined by Roger?
64
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,052
Enchanté.
65
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:37,990
The name's Hibachi Liberace:
Terrible Origami Artist.
66
00:02:37,992 --> 00:02:40,192
Allow me to demonstrate.
Mm, too big.
67
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,693
-No!
-(gasps)
68
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,928
(breathing heavily)
69
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,396
Bingo!
70
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,731
Double bingo!
71
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,599
And fold, and fold, and...
72
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:48,567
ta-da!
73
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,868
Hanging chad!
74
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,103
Remember that?
75
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,371
From one of the elections
or something?
76
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:53,605
Damn it, Roger!
77
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,674
That was our Family Feud
application!
78
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:57,910
We got to the next round?!
That's amazing!
79
00:02:57,912 --> 00:02:59,678
I wonder what I'll wear
if we make it.
80
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,013
You'll wear nothing.
81
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,915
That's kinda what I was
thinking, too.
82
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,551
Because we're not going
to be on Family Feud.
83
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,886
They famously only
give you one application!
84
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,288
And you ruined it!
85
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,857
-You ruin everything!
-(gasps)
86
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,358
I don't ruin things!
87
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,894
We spent all day trying
to remember things,
88
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,763
but all the rememories
were bad!
89
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:18,730
'Cause of you!
90
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,065
Being on the Feud
91
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,434
is all the Smiths
have ever wanted.
92
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,603
-So...
-So, what, Stan?
93
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,772
So, the Smiths are done
with you.
94
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,941
Forever!
You must leave at once!
95
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:32,911
(gasps) You guys
don't want me to leave, right?
96
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:34,546
Fine! I'll go.
97
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,482
Francine,
let's go, baby.
98
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:38,584
No!
99
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,786
(gasps, cries)
100
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,222
(camera shutter clicks)
101
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:44,489
POPE: We found him,
102
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,892
the creator
of the evil artifact.
103
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:50,495
¶¶
104
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:51,897
According to the prophecy,
105
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,166
the artifact
can only be destroyed
106
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,301
by sending it back
into the portal through
107
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,136
which it appeared
on Earth.
108
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,239
What portal?
109
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,608
(dramatic music plays)
110
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,944
¶¶
111
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,582
(bell tolls)
112
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:15,420
¶¶
113
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,856
I have
12 chalupas for...
114
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,458
secret meeting.
115
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:23,862
The artifact corrupts
and twists the human mind.
116
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:28,500
Once it is destroyed, the world
will finally be at peace.
117
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,336
I shall take it to America
at once.
118
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:34,139
Perhaps I should take it,
hmm?
119
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,941
No!
He wants it for himself!
120
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,943
-I'll take it.
-No! Me!
121
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,378
-Friends!
-(gasps)
122
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,446
Beyoncé speaks!
123
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,881
Don't you see?
124
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:46,051
Its power
is corrupting even us.
125
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,288
(gun cocks)
126
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:50,622
Don't touch it.
127
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,690
(gun cocks)
128
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,058
(gun cocks)
129
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,893
(guns cock)
130
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:59,331
¶¶
131
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:04,336
¶¶
132
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:05,504
I must have it!
133
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:16,014
¶¶
134
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:22,421
¶¶
135
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:26,658
Little girl, what you are
holding is very dangerous.
136
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,060
You must give it to me.
137
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:29,661
No problemo.
138
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,496
Kazim, wait.
139
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,165
She offers it
without hesitation.
140
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,167
It does not corrupt her.
141
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,169
She is pure of heart.
142
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,837
She must be the one.
143
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:43,108
We are the Knights Turdlar,
an ancient order tasked
144
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:46,178
with destroying
this evil excrement.
145
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:48,680
We need you to take this
somewhere.
146
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,415
It could be dangerous.
147
00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:53,685
But it will save the world
from evil.
148
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,121
I will deliver this
anywhere you want,
149
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:59,024
but you must order it
through the app.
150
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,559
(knocking)
151
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:06,264
Yeah, that cat doesn't
live here anymore, ya dig?
152
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,101
We've looked everywhere.
Even Snot's house.
153
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,702
ROGER: Come back here!
154
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,037
Come on, lil' cricket!
155
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,306
I ain't gonna eat ya!
156
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:15,474
Stupid cricket!
157
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,908
Stupid Smiths!
158
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,444
Making me lie to crickets
about eating them.
159
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:22,047
(crickets chirping)
160
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,648
ROGER:
Oh, hey, little girl.
161
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,550
Can you grab that cricket
for me?
162
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,419
I ain't gonna eat it
or anything.
163
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,390
Oh, hey,
that looks familiar.
164
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:32,657
Nice of you
to bring it back.
165
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:33,792
(thud)
166
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,127
This is
just the cherry
167
00:06:35,129 --> 00:06:37,462
on top
of a really interesting week.
168
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,106
¶¶
169
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,608
(arguing in native language)
170
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:56,348
¶¶
171
00:06:56,350 --> 00:07:03,155
¶¶
172
00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:05,257
Well, it's official.
173
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,324
I'm not black.
174
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:07,793
-How do you know?
-Heh!
175
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,461
'Cause black don't...
176
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:18,637
¶¶
177
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,807
Listen up.
This is an emergency.
178
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:22,808
Has there been an attack?
179
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,543
No, silly.
180
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,545
We live in utopia now!
181
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,848
The emergency is,
I got a new guitar!
182
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,616
(guitar plays)
183
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,786
¶ Everyone is happy in utopia ¶
184
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:39,057
¶ From Spain to Japan to Ethiopia ¶
185
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:42,828
¶ Mertz was a bully who only cared for shoving ¶
186
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:46,832
¶ But now he's a pacifist all about loving ¶
187
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,467
¶ Now that the world is at peace ¶
188
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:50,502
¶ I have my own flock of geese ¶
189
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:54,172
¶ Everyone is happy in utopia ¶
190
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:55,874
FRANCINE:
¶ The roads are all empty ¶
191
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,143
¶ Everyone gets a Bentley ¶
192
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:02,047
¶ I can dunk a basketball ¶
193
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:05,350
¶ Everyone is happy in utopia ¶
194
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:09,387
¶ I used to smoke six times a day, no joking ¶
195
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:15,060
¶ But in this new world, I get high without toking ¶
196
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:18,763
¶ Everyone is happy in utopia ¶
197
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:21,933
¶ We're all full of hope-ia ¶
198
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:26,071
¶ I can fly without my rope-ia ¶
199
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:29,741
¶ 'Cause everyone loves utopia ¶
200
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:34,012
¶ And things are going well for me ¶
201
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:38,850
¶ Too-o-o-o-o ¶
202
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,687
This just in. Everything is still great!
203
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,690
Coming up after the break, a beautiful sound!
204
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,559
Oh, what the heck? Let's just play it right now.
205
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:49,561
[ tone plays ]
206
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,197
I hate utopia.
I hate this.
207
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,132
Oh, my God!
Thank you!
208
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,234
Remember when you used
to see a helicopter crash
209
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,802
on the news
and get kind of horned up?
210
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,104
That's gone.
211
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:01,106
And I hate singing
that song every day.
212
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:04,276
I miss my old song!
-Daddy.
213
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:06,311
That is
the silver lining, Rogu.
214
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,947
At least Roger's been gone
since utopia started.
215
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:11,216
Daddy.
216
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,417
No.
217
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,419
That's the door.
218
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,554
(doorbell rings)
219
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,655
Damn, Francine,
220
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,223
you made
the doorbell ring.
221
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,224
Delivery!
222
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,926
And may peace be with --
223
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,929
Please send me
to the Smiths.
224
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,931
123 Cherry Street.
225
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,966
It's Roger's mouth!
226
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:30,735
They're a bunch of dicks, but
I really need to talk to them.
227
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,270
Roger! Shh!
228
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:34,172
Mm. Mm.
229
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,842
I think it's Steve,
but just to make sure...
230
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:38,910
Get off me!
231
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,646
Yep!
That's my Steve!
232
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,782
Okay, as you can see,
I'm just a mouth.
233
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:46,818
That's probably because
I exploded into 300 pieces.
234
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,653
My ears heard
the Knights Turdlar
235
00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:51,289
talking about how they'd spread
the pieces to the furthest,
236
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,425
most inaccessible
corners of the world.
237
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:56,528
That way no one could rebuild me
and return the world to chaos.
238
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:57,529
Any questions?
239
00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,030
I might have one.
240
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,532
Trick question!
241
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:02,200
I can't hear questions
because I'm just a mouth.
242
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,269
Rogu can help you find
the rest of me.
243
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,104
Probably.
I just said a name.
244
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,272
Does he look confident?
245
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,840
I can say
someone else's name.
246
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,208
Uhh...
247
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,443
Calvin?
248
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,477
Is he still around?
249
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:17,048
Daddy ear at mall.
250
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,621
Daddy's ear.
251
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:25,523
Finally, I can hear
your beautiful voices.
252
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,526
And more importantly,
my own beautiful voice!
253
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:31,796
(scatting)
254
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,331
Ugh!
I can't do this!
255
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:36,001
I can't talk to these gross,
flappy body parts.
256
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:37,469
I've got an idea!
257
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,304
This was my idea!
258
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:42,073
And you guys promise me
you got the rainbow sloth
259
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,542
and not just the brown bear
because it was cheaper?
260
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,910
Yes, Roger.
261
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,479
Where to now, Rogu?
262
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,848
¶¶
263
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,417
(all cheering)
264
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:56,488
¶¶
265
00:10:56,490 --> 00:11:00,225
(all cheering)
266
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,893
(growling)
267
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:05,730
¶¶
268
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:09,701
¶¶
269
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:12,237
I do not want to go
in there.
270
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,506
Take these. Someone sold them
to me by the porta-johns.
271
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,207
I have no idea
what they are.
272
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,778
(dance music plays)
273
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,079
Coachella!
274
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,914
EDM is amazing!
275
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,916
And I never would have
found out if we didn't
have to go in there
276
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,584
to find Roger's elbow.
277
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:27,786
Roger's elbow!
278
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,422
FRANCINE: Coachella!
279
00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:32,924
¶¶
280
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,226
¶ I'm your Venus ¶
281
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,729
299 pieces.
282
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,030
Only one to go.
283
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,632
Possibly the most important
of all --
284
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:41,866
my butthole.
285
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,601
We have to find
your butthole?
286
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:44,936
Without it, no turd.
287
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,238
You know
what they say --
288
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,942
Butthole always
last place you look.
289
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,644
Ha, ha, ha.
290
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,379
Let's go.
291
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:57,082
STAN: No [bleep] way!
292
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,087
Hello?
293
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,089
(door slams)
294
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,626
So, you've come
for the butthole.
295
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,328
Steve Harvey?!
296
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:14,232
Unfortunately, I can't just
hand it over to you.
297
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,135
To obtain it, you'll have
to win the Feud.
298
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,104
And since there's
no other family here,
299
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,272
we're going straight
to Fast Money!
300
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:25,443
I'm gonna ask Roger and Stan
the same five questions.
301
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,179
If together,
they get over 200 points,
302
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,615
what do the Smiths win?
303
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:32,784
TOGETHER: The butthole!
304
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,419
Let's play!
305
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:37,088
Name something you don't want
to see in the ocean.
306
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,256
-Shark.
-Zombies.
307
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,425
What is a place you go
on vacation?
308
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:41,826
-Hawaii.
-Uzbekistan.
309
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:44,863
Something you don't want
to find in your pantry.
310
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,098
-Rats.
-Gotta go with Hitler-r-r-r!
311
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,434
A drink
you have in the morning.
312
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,302
-Coffee.
-Warm saltwater.
313
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,671
Something you get
for your birthday.
314
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,340
-Balloons.
-Potato gravy.
315
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,308
-Okay, Roger.
-Yeah?
316
00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,378
As you know,
Stan got 198.
317
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,814
-Mm-hmm.
-You've gotten zero so far.
318
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,817
-Yup.
-All you need is two points.
319
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,853
Your final question was,
320
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:11,689
"What is something you get
for your birthday?"
321
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:12,690
You said...
322
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,993
-Potato gravy.
-Idiot.
323
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,163
Survey says...
324
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,533
-Oh, yeah!
-We did it!
325
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,668
-Whoo-hoo!
-The Smiths have done it!
326
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,570
They won the butthole!
327
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:26,838
I ain't gonna lie.
328
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,373
I ain't sad to see it go.
329
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,475
Welcome home, buddy!
330
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,011
¶¶
331
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:39,317
¶¶
332
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,485
(arguing in native language)
333
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:43,822
¶¶
334
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:48,092
¶¶
335
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,360
Aah!
336
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:53,498
At long last,
it's finally mine!
337
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,366
Wait,
you wanted us to have it?
338
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,734
Why did you make us
play the game?
339
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,336
I didn't really think
it through.
340
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,772
That's why I gave you points
for potato gravy at the end.
341
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:03,374
Now I'm gonna use this
to put my Family Feud
342
00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,009
on every channel!
343
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,011
-Wait, how?
-It's very complicated.
344
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:10,448
Just trust me when I say
that I will rule the --
345
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,583
Jesus!
346
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:14,118
-Whoa!
-STAN: Don't look at it!
347
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,620
This thing is dangerous.
348
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:17,755
I'll destroy it.
349
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,693
Suckers.
350
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,264
It's just you and me now.
351
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,933
¶¶
352
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:36,107
¶¶
353
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:40,979
¶¶
354
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:45,884
¶¶
355
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:52,223
¶¶
356
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:58,563
¶¶
357
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,632
(engine starts)
358
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:04,502
¶¶
359
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:09,841
BARTENDER: Usual, Dirk?
360
00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:13,945
¶¶
361
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,581
STEVE: Where is it?
362
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,285
How'd you find me?
363
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:23,588
STEVE:
The whole world found you.
364
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,291
Trust me, Steve.
You don't want it.
365
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,092
Actually,
it's the only thing
366
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,495
I've wanted
since I saw it that day.
367
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,830
Well, you're out of luck.
368
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:35,967
I got rid of that thing
a long time ago.
369
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,702
Maybe try Craigslist.
370
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:41,973
¶¶
371
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:48,980
¶¶
372
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,382
STAN: Aah! Aah!
373
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:56,688
¶¶
374
00:15:56,690 --> 00:16:02,794
¶¶
375
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:07,031
¶¶
376
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:10,001
(clattering)
377
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:29,253
(grunts)
378
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:42,433
¶¶
379
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:48,006
¶¶
380
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,607
-(vehicle approaching)
-(gasps)
381
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,743
Aah!
382
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:58,082
¶¶
383
00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:00,284
You led me right to it,
little brother.
384
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,186
(gargles)
385
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:05,690
(straining)
386
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:12,030
(gunshot)
387
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,531
(groans)
388
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:18,569
¶¶
389
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:20,204
You dropped something.
390
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,107
(weakly)
I thought we had a deal.
391
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:26,044
What happened to girls
against boys?
392
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:28,446
Only one problem.
393
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,215
I'm a woman.
394
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,617
-(gunshot)
-(gasps)
395
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,789
Francine!
396
00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:38,956
(grunts)
397
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,892
That's mine!
398
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:47,265
¶¶
399
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:53,805
¶¶
400
00:17:53,807 --> 00:17:54,972
Ow!
401
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,908
Give it up, Francine!
402
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,410
You look like shit, Stan.
403
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,578
(spits)
404
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,514
¶¶
405
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:06,451
(saw whirring)
406
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:10,455
Stan, please!
Don't!
407
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,656
You can have it!
408
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:18,496
¶¶
409
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:21,966
¶¶
410
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:25,837
¶¶
411
00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,839
(gasps)
412
00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:30,475
(choking)
413
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:35,146
¶¶
414
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,948
(crack)
415
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:45,823
¶¶
416
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:50,061
Hmm, maybe I didn't have time
to stop for fries.
417
00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:52,897
The turd!
418
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,299
-I must have it!
-ROGER: Give me a break, Klaus.
419
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:56,634
You're a fish.
You're fine.
420
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,202
Yeah, I just wanted to be
a part of it.
421
00:18:58,204 --> 00:19:00,671
And they think
I mess everything up.
422
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,640
Look what they do
when I'm not around.
423
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,375
Besides, even if I do get them
in trouble,
424
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:05,843
I always get them out of it.
425
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,578
Well, not this time.
426
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,747
This time is a bad example.
427
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,983
This time, they're all dead.
428
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,484
You still have me, Roger.
429
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,654
Klaus, please.
I'm not in the mood for jokes.
430
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,757
¶¶
431
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:24,896
¶¶
432
00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:25,930
What the...?
433
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,064
(groans)
434
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,199
No, no, no, Steve.
435
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:29,734
Don't come
near this bush.
436
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:32,570
Pal, that burrito did a number
on my alien stomach.
437
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,905
Come on.
Let's just go home.
438
00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:35,373
Too bad.
439
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:37,942
I guess I'll never find
my special power.
440
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:42,613
Whoa, this is where I laid
the Golden Turd!
441
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,949
-Hey, what am I doing here?
-Listen!
442
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,051
You can't leave that thing
in the bushes!
443
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,921
Someone finds it and ruins
your family's lives.
444
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:51,556
What? Oh, no!
445
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,724
The only way to change
the future is to hide it
446
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,126
where no one can find it.
447
00:19:55,128 --> 00:19:57,428
Don't worry.
I'll hide it real good.
448
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,564
Not behind the skateboard
in the garage.
449
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:01,732
Wow, you really want
this thing hidden!
450
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,434
Oh, and --
and one more thing.
451
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:05,570
If you don't want to get kicked
out of the house,
452
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,572
don't ever take up origami.
453
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,273
Okay, bye, me!
454
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,444
Hey, Steve!
Road trip!
455
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,279
I'm thinking Boca Raton!
456
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:17,448
It mean's "rat's mouth"!
457
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,890
Can't we think of one memory
that wasn't ruined by Roger?
458
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,391
Enchanté!
459
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:30,428
The name's Hibachi Liberace:
Terrible Origami Art--
460
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,930
Wait a second. I feel like
I'm not supposed to do this.
461
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,966
Staples McFoldsalot!
462
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,100
Paper hater!
463
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:37,735
You think you hate paper?
464
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,337
Wait till you see this!
465
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:42,607
STAN: Roger! No!
That's our...
466
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:51,816
¶¶
467
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:54,619
Damn it!
I want it so bad!
468
00:20:57,223 --> 00:21:02,126
(suspenseful music plays)
469
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,128
Bye-bye! See you soon!
470
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,099
-- Captions by VITAC --
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