Original subtitles

Is this rickshaw free?

Yes, please sit.

You have come at the right time.

The planetary positions don't favour you.

You will have trouble with marriage.

But don't worry,...

I will suggest some remedies and it will all work out.

For starters, make a donation to the temple.

Everything will be alright.

What did the astrologer say?

He suggested some remedies.

Don't worry. He is good.

Move your hand.

Give... Move your hand.

Give me your plate.

Dad, what did you do to piss mom off?

He has not done anything.

It is you who is pissing me off by refusing to get married!

Mom, why does every conversation have to lead to me getting married?

I don't think marriage is necessary.

Oh marriage is not necessary? Did you hear what he his saying?

Tomorrow you will say family is not necessary.

Your mother is not necessary!

Calm down! Your sugar will go up.

It already has.

Why haven't you served the daal yet?

343?!

I have to answer all sorts of questions about Neel.

He is of marriageable age and my friends wonder if there's a problem with him.

Neel, please let us know if you have a girlfriend

We will get you married to her.

So we can help deal with your mother's embarrassment.

That's right! Go ahead, mock me!

Why are you standing there, go bring the remaining food.

Every other day you start this drama.

Mom, stop this emotional blackmail!

What?

I emotionally blackmail you?

Oh God! I just want to die!

Mom..

You don't need me or my advice anymore.. right?

Aunty, don't worry about him...

I am there

You keep your mouth shut, Dev!

You claim to be such a good friend.

Why don't you make him understand?

You can't help find a girl for Neel?

Mom please go ahead and look for a girl.

Do you promise to get married?

I think we need to find a girl first.

Serve the chops soon.

Dev, what happened? You are not eating.

There's an emergency.

I just got a text, I need to leave.

I'll eat it later. I am sorry.

Dev, will you be staying the night?

- Not tonight, aunty. - I'll go drop you.

I will just come.

I'm so thrilled he agreed!

Yes I know.

Why can't you tell your parents that you love someone?

Funny.

Don't be late today. We have to be there by four.

- Bye mom, bye dad - Eat something!

And did you think about what we spoke last night?

What?

About your marriage.

Find a girl first!

We found one.

Overnight?!

We are going to meet her parents this evening.

Come on time.

You guys go and meet them first.

What are you doing?

Okay bye.

- Finish your breakfast! - I'll eat at the office.

There is no way now that any boy will reject you.

Go take a shower.

Please come in.

Madam , they have arrived.

- Please ask them to come inside. - This way please.

Please have something.

The days of eating all this are long gone!

Go ahead. I'm carrying your Insulin.

Come.

What a beauty!

Come.

Come dear, have a seat.

This is my daughter Keya.

My wife passed away when she was only 3.

Shanti Kaki has brought her up.

Shanti Kaki has brought me up also.

He is full of jokes!

- Dev?! - Hi aunty

What are you doing here?

I'm surprised too

That's my son Devyanshu.

Dev...

..why did you never tell us that you have such a beautiful cousin?

Oh! So you are Dev's friend, Neel's parents?

We have heard so much about Neel.

And any time you ask Dev about his whereabouts, he is with Neel.

Never met him but here you are.

Amazing.

Don't they say, it's a small world.

This is terrific!

Finally Keya and Dev will also become friends.

Stop it!

Cousins squabble all the time in every family.

You are absolutely right.

Come on, Keya and I are friends.

Did you know?

I was famous in school only because of her!

I have to go now.

Congrats sister.

Bye Dev.

Dev, what happened?

What happened?

Do you realize what is happening?

Your parents are arranging your marriage with my cousin.

They couldn't find anybody else?

Dev, you know we are different?

So are our society norms. And what's the problem with that?

The way I see it, this can work for us.

Wives usually have a problem with the husband's friends.

But if my wife is your cousin, this could all work smoothly.

Women love that their brothers and husbands are buddies.

It won't work. Keya and I don't get along.

Then fix it.

Fix what?

Your relationship with her.

This is such bullshit....

Dev..

Baby, you know I love you...

By the way...

Sorry for last time, I didn't know you are allergic to prawns.

It's alright.

This is only our third meeting,..

...there is a lot to discover about each other.

Your order ma'am?

I don't know how to use this.

Sir can you...?

Hello

- Yes ofcourse. - What are you doing here?

I am from the groom's side.

I've invited him.

Why are you so grumpy?

Should I tell you a joke?

Should I put on some make up on you?

You know Neel, when we were about 8-10 years old,

Dev wore my frock

and insisted on me putting some lipstick on his lips.

I did it.

He went to school like that!

And became the laughing stock for the rest of his years there.

Remember that Dev?

You pouting in front of the mirror?

Not funny Keya

Kids play pranks on each other. It's no big deal.

You are right! They were all pranks.

You are right!

The prank that our other cousins Deepu...

Keya!

...and Sonu pulled on me.

Everybody laughs at us saying our brother is a homosexual.

You will do it with her and prove that you are not gay!

You were there Keya.

Keya! Help! Please call mother!

I can't find half the mailing addresses!

Dad, isn't this all happening too soon?

Your mother was only waiting for you to say yes.

Now it is out of your control.

I've found a rented apartment for you guys to move into.

In Indian culture, the girl leaves her parent's house.

Not the guy.

With you breathing down his neck all the time, I think it's better they live separately.

Don't talk nonsense.

Stop smoking!

Why are you crying?

Your sister is not going anywhere far off, silly.

Only to our house.

Why don't you go there and join the festivitise.

I feel like I dressed up for a school play.

This outfit weighs a ton!

Your saree also looks quite heavy.

What are you looking for?

I think I forgot to pack a night suit.

You can borrow something from here..

Good morning!

You didn't have to do that.

Is there a rule that only the wife makes tea?

Here..

You have your tea, I'll run into the shower.

Whatsup man, how come so early today?

Just got my girlfriend married off

Sorry buddy. This one's on the house

Love you

Oye! Homo! Two cold beers

So tell me...

Man, I can't do it..

That girl is nuts about you!

Dude I'm not interested..

Don't you have a cold one?

The fridge is...

Homo, go get a cold one from somewhere else then!

What happened with the other one..

Same.. too clingy.. I can't deal with that shit..

Hello guys, what does a "Homo" look like?

Oh man! From where has he come.

What's your problem?

Don't worry, you don't look like a "Homo"

Would you like to turn into one?

Why don't you take that fat one from behind..

If you enjoy the experience, then you would be a certified "Homo"

True that!

Son of a bitch!

Dev! Dev! Stop it..

Well, I am a homosexual.

Dev! Let it go...

And remember this thrashing the next time you go around using the word as an insult!

Yes, Mr Murray... I have the initial numbers.

It's a call from the London office..

You sleep It'll be a long call

Yes Sir, just one second Sir

Yes Mr. Murray..

Mr Murray can go fuck himself

Are you drunk?

No, I think I'm not actually

Baby don't call so late. Keya will get suspicious

So we can't even talk on the phone?

We can't even meet.

How is this master plan working out for you Mr. Nilanjan Sen?

Because I feel very fucked up right now

Calm down Things will become better

How?

Are you gonna tell me baby, hey....

I am gonna buy you an apartment, will live happily ever after

Just relax... everything will be okay,

, and I will get an apartment just for you and me...

My darling how?

Who are you telling this bullshit to?

How much do you earn?

Will manage some how...

listen, I have to go now

- You have to go..? - Yeah

- You have to go...? - Yeah Dev

Where do you have to go ?

To Keya?

Dev

Is she waiting for you naked?

- You want to fuck her.. - Stop it Dev, stop it..

You are talking about your sister...

No... I think you.. I don't give a shit that she is my sister,

You want to fuck her right?

I know you want to fuck her..

Baby, I'm already going through hell, don't make it worse.

Of course, you should be..

I think you deserve it...

You are the one who decided to get married

think it's your problem...

you know what...

...are you listening... you know what...?

I think you were exploring...

homosexuality, a phase, in your life, experimenting

Stop it Dev.. You know I love you baby...

You know, I don't love you,

I don't believe you today, does that hurt..?

Dev..I love you...Dev.

I love you.

This is really good!

I'll get some more tea.

Hey listen...

Next month onwards, I'll have to go to the Mumbai office twice a week.

What happened?

For a few months only.

You also can come along sometime.

It will be a good change for you.

I'm getting late for work..

Bye

Hello? Shanti Kaki?

Kaki!... Shanti Kaki! I can't find my white shirt

Kaki!..

Stop! Just here..

This one?

Here.. 20 rupees

Let's go.

- Nayantara! - Yes sister

I got totally exhausted while coming here.

These stairs have killed my back!

Now tell me, how have you been?

Ever since you took the job at the mansion,

you forgot about your sisters from the village!

Who is this pretty one?

That's Keya

Really?

Yes

Oh that's Keya?!

Last I saw her when she was just a little girl!

I've come to you for some help.

Anything for you.

She just got married.

She doesn't have a mother to teach her games of the bedroom.

I was widowed even before I went to live with my husband.. So I know nothing..

I have brought her here so that she can learn something.

Don't worry.

I'll teach her everything she needs to know.

Watch carefully.

Don't feel shy..

Every woman needs to know this art.

You are still awake?

Let's go to sleep.

Take me to Lake Garden

I have an appointment with Dr Fernandez.

Please come in.

You have been married for 3 months, right?

Yes.

So Keya,...

Your husband's lack of interest in sex,

can be one of two things.

Either your husband is impotent or...

I am not saying that this is true but it's possible...

that he has the disease of homosexuality.

I firmly believe that homosexuality is a disease.

I totally disagree with what is happening today.

You know, way back in India, in Mughal courts,

homosexuals and transgenders were given esteemed positions.

The British came and put things in order.

And their strict attitude towards homosexuality was right.

That is not a natural way for human beings to live.

Dr Harold Fernandez

When i was in London back in the 60's my specialization was "curing homosexuality"

through chemical treatment and electrical therapy.

"Curing Homosexuality"

"Electric Shock-therepy"

"Patients to provide relief"

"mental disorder Homosexuality"

In fact, I pioneered this treatment in which

seizures are electrically induced to treat homosexuality

Fuck....

Anyway whatever the problem might be,

Impotence or homosexuality.

And I am still not saying that your husband has the disease of homosexuality.

But if it so...

You have come to the right person.

Don't worry my dear, your husband is in good hands.

Listen.. - Hmm..

Tonight a friend of my grandpa's has invited us over for dinner.

Tonight?

You have other plans?

No, its okay.

You will find him very interesting.

I quite like the company of old folks.

They have such interesting stories to tell.

They are all self made.

We'll have fun.

- Looking forward. - Thank you.

Hello Dev, I'll have to cancel tonight.

Keya has made some dinner plans.

Don't you think this "drama of being married" is starting to get a bit too realistic?

It's just a dinner...

Hello?

Hello? Dev?

I'm listening....

When I first went to London to study Medicine,

way back in 1955, every British person I met was

amazed meeting an Indian man speaking the Queen's English.

While doing my research in the laboratory,...

...did you know what was their main topic of discussion?

Seriously?

- More wine? - Sure

I'll get it..

I'll help you..

You want some?

Give me your glass.

- Keya - Yes uncle?

Get him here a couple more times so he gets comfortable with me.

more communicative.

Then we will start the treatment.

Alright.

Don't worry he will be alright.

Dev..

- I'll break your phone - It was Keya

This is my time!

Calm down.

Keya will always be a part of our lives. You know that.

I was forced into this marriage

We decided together to ahead with this.

and you were there when it happened.

Yeah...

Have you ever thought about what I am going through?

Every night I have to go to sleep next to her

when I am wishing that it was you next to me.

If you are constantly going to behave like a jealous, insecure lover,

it is only going to become more difficult for me.

Who else do I share such a pure relationship with?

No secrets..

Unconditional love.

- Hello... - Pyramid Pvt Ltd

May I speak with Neelanjan?

I am sorry ma'am Mr. Nilanajn Sen hasn't come in to work today.

He hasn't come in?

No ma'am...

Okay

Is there anything else I can help you with?

You are still up?

It took you so long at the office?

Why do you think I am working so hard?

For a better future for us.

Now have your dinner and go to sleep.

And tomorrow I will be home on time!

Oh! Sorry, I have to go to Mumbai tomorrow.

I totally forgot.

Follow that taxi

Hello...

- Hello.... - Hello... doctor uncle

Yes Keya?

You were right. Neel is sick

- Keya..... - He is gay!

Keya...

I'm outside this apartment. I followed Neel here.

And then I saw Dev going in.

- My evil gay brother Dev! - Listen to me...

- I hate Dev - Listen Keya...

- We have to save Neel - You know that Neel is ill...

I have told you I have cured many such cases...

We have to start his treatment right away!

Sure. Do you trust me? - Yes

Bring Neel over for dinner again soon.

- Okay - And I will solve this,

now calm down, calm down... right

He will get cured, right?

Of course. Keep calm. Alright?

So Neel, I am told that you are working out of Mumbai these days

Yes..

Take Keya also along with you sometimes.

That's the plan!

Who could that be?

Excuse me, I'll just go and see

You okay?

Hmmm

Come.. Come, Neel look who it is!

Dev...

What are you doing here?

- I just came.. - Who invited you this time?

I messaged Neel, he said you guys were here

Sit

I haven't met you guys in so long

Thank you uncle, sorry I thought I will come and say hi..

I am going out of town tomorrow, so..

But you are just in time.., let me get you a plate

So sweet uncle, Thank you.

- Should I..? - No... no..

I'll help you

Why is he here?

I don't know.

But now I am convinced there is something going on between these two.

Anyway, don't worry...I'll handle it.

- She knows... - She knows What ?

She knows about us

She will if you continue to behave like this jilted lover

Jilted lover?

What are you saying?

You dropping in uninvited to someone's house who you don't know?

Uninvited?

- Come on, you are always welcome.. - Thank you

Here's your plate. And what would you like to try.?..

I would recommend the chicken with the sauce which I have made.

- I love cooking. - Uncle, he eats everything.

I know him from childhood.

He loves to steal other people's things too.

That is a quite a lot of food...,

I hope you can do justice to it.

Let's see, we will find out.

Thank you so much.

Where can I wash my hands?

Through that door, to your left

I am going to go out for a smoke.

- Are you coming? - Sure sir.

I love Kolkata during Durga Puja

Dev...!!

What is all this?

Neel is ill

What are you guys doing to him?

He has the disease of Homosexuality

Are you nuts?

I know, you suffer from the same disease since childhood.

But don't worry, the doctor can cure you too.

These days they can even cure cancer.

Homosexuality is nothing.

You are repeating the same mistake.

This doctor, poison, guinea pigs, electric chair... you mad woman!

- Dev...Dev - Homosexuality is not a disease.

Leave my husband alone!

- This doctor is cuckoo! - You are my brother, Dev!

- This electric chair! - Dev...Dev

You want to treat Neel with electric shock therapy?

Leave my husband alone! You are my brother, Dev!

Another power cut!

Uncle I think it might be short circuit.

Everyone else has electricity

Keya....

Dev, what happened?

Dev, what happened?

Are you alright?

Keya..

Keya..

Keya..

Keya..