All language subtitles for The.King.Of.Queens.S03E04.Class.Struggle.AC3.DVDRip.XviD-MEDiEVAL.English-HI

[Phone ringing]

(Doug)
I'm coming!

[Phone continues ringing]

Yeah, hello?

Hey, it's me, Steph.

Are you ok?

Yeah, I just, uh, ran
for the phone.

Oh, well,
you'll be glad you did,
'cause guess what?

[Doug panting]

Are you sure
you're all right?

No, no. Let's give it
another minute

before we panic.

Well, assuming
you don't drop,

how would you like
to go with me tonight

to the ranger game?

You got tickets?

Hey, I'm in the sports biz.

You teach gym.

Do you want
to go or not?

I want to go, but I--I can't.

I promised Carrie
we'd rent a movie tonight.

Come on.
I've only been back
in town a month,

and we've hardly
seen each other.

Don't you want
to do a little
brother-sister bonding?

Where are the seats?

They're in the garden.
That's all you need to know.

No, I--I can't.
I can't.

I--I blew Carrie off
the last few movie nights.

This one could impact
my sex life.

I mean, I'll get
the basics,

but, no extras.

[Beeps]

Hold on a second.
I'm getting another call.

Yeah, hello?

Hey, hon, it's me.
Um, big favor.

You know Laura-Beth,
that lawyer I'm friendly with?

Yeah.

Well, she invited me
out to dinner

with her and, um,
a couple of her friends,

and I just wanted
to know if it was ok
if I missed movie night.

Well, I already rented
girl, interrupted.

I--I got it right here.

Oh, come on, hon.
I really want to go.

You know,
girls' night out.

I could make
some new friends,

or just friends,
period.

Go, go.
Have--have fun.

Oh, really?
You're the best, honey.
I love you.

Ok, are we through?
'Cause I'm on the other line.

All right. I'll see you
around 10:00. Bye.

Good news.
Carrie's going out
with some lesbians.

(All)
♪ Happy Birthday, dear Lisa

♪ Happy Birthday to you

yay,
thank you.

Oh, thank you,
thank you.

Lovely voices.
All of you, really.

I hope you all die.

Ah.

Especially you.
You're new.

You should
be nicer.

Yeah, yeah.
Too much peer pressure.
I caved.

Yeah, you did.
Clearly.

Don't be like that
on your birthday.

It is not my birthday!

Shh. They'll make us
pay for the cake.

All right, I give up.
Happy 27th to me.

There you go.

27? I'm sorry,
did you sleep through

your last 5 birthdays?

Well, I wouldn't mind
jumping ahead a few years.

Then I wouldn't have to go to
my barnard reunion next week.

You're going
to a reunion next week,

and you're eating
fudge cake?

Gutsy. I like that.

I can't wait to go
to my college reunion.

Well, really.
I--I just made partner,
I just got married,

and I could crack
a walnut with my ass.

It's the right time
for a reunion, baby!

Or a bad time
if you're a walnut.

[All laughing]

Carrie, have you gone
to your reunion yet?

Oh, uh, actually,
I--I didn't graduate. So...

What? No, wait,
I, uh, I thought
you were a lawyer.

Me? No, no, no.
I'm a secretary.

Like, the best secretary
at the firm.

Oh, thank you.

Oh.
Oh. Wow.

Cool.
Yeah, hey,

and I hear secretaries week
is coming up soon,

so that will
be good, right?

Oh, my God, I totally
forgot to tell you...

[Women chattering]

[Door opening]

Hey. Hey, funny thing.

Right after you called,

Stephanie called
with ranger tickets.

Huh? Whoo.
Talk about meant to be.

I mean, I know
we're all God's children,

but sometimes I think
he likes me extra special.

So, how was
ladies night out, huh?

What'd you...
Did you talk tampons, huh?

Do you hate men now?

[Crying]

Ok, what--what--
what's happening?

I was having
a great time.

I mean, I was, like,
finally hanging out

with women who didn't
annoy the crap
out of me, you know?

And I was, like,
totally "on," you know?

I--I was funny

and--and--and--
and--and charming.

It sounds good--

let me finish!

You always interrupt me!
Let me finish!

Ok.

And then-- and then
they started talking

about college
reunions, you know,

then they
asked me about mine,

and I said, "oh,
I didn't graduate,"

and they said,
"oh, but we thought
you were a lawyer,"

and I said, "no,
I'm a secretary."

And they were, like,
"oh, it's secretaries week."

You love
secretaries week.

[Sobbing]

Ok, ok. Ok.
All right. Ok.

Ok, shh.
It's ok.

And I'm just as smart
as they are!

Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
I know you are, baby.

Ok. It's ok.

Rangers won.
It's ok. Ok.

Come on,
take a deep breath.

[Gasping]

There you go.
There you go. Ok?

Hey, hey, you know
what cheers me up

when I'm feeling sad?

A snack?

There you go.
You feeling better?

Not really.
The milk's gone bad.

I could have been like them,
I really could have.

I could have had
a--a palm pilot, you know,

and been going
to my college reunion,

but no, I had to drop out
when my mom died
to get a job.

Good goin', Carrie.

Let me tell you something
about fancy book learnings.

Y-you, little lady,
got something much better.

They call it streetsmarts.

Yeah, great.

It's true.

Like, when we're
on the subway,

and some guy comes up to you
asking for money,
and you pretend to be deaf.

You can't learn
that stuff in school.

Look, I'm just
gonna go to bed.

I've got a full day
of coffee pouring

and phone answering
ahead of me.

I want to be sharp.

Thanks for trying
to cheer me up.

You're very sweet.

[Sighs]

[Snoring]

Doug, wake up.

Everybody off.

It's important.

What is it?

I'm gonna go back
to school.

Ok.

Doug!

What?

I'm gonna finish school,

get a diploma,
and get a better job.

I have to pee.

I have my old course guide
in the closet.

(Carrie)
I could pick out
my entire semester tonight.

You see,
I've been lying there,

going over the whole
thing in my mind,

how I screwed up
my life and everything,

and then it just hit me.
Fix it, you idiot!

(Doug)
Can--can we talk
about this later?

(Carrie)
But I'm so excited.
Aren't you excited for me?

(Doug)
Don't hug me now!

Ah. I just did
everything possible
to avoid light.

Sorry.

Me, too. I think I splashed
your bath salts.

You're really serious?
You want to go school again?

Yes. I can--
I can do this, Doug.

I know you can do it,
it's just...

So, are you gonna
quit your job?

No, I'll still work.

I'll just go
to school at night.

Well, when would
I see you?

I'll make time.

Plus, I won't
be sad anymore.

I'll be happy.
You see?

Ok, so you can
finish college. Then what?

I don't know.
Maybe, uh, go to law school.

Oh, this is spinning
totally out of control.

Ok, could you try
even being
a little supportive?

Well, I'm sorry,
Carrie, but you know,

you're throwing a lot at me
out of nowhere.

It's not
out of nowhere.

It's always bothered me
that I didn't finish school.

Tonight, you know,

it gave me a kick
in the pants that I needed.

Get thicker pants.

Stop.

Well, what am
I supposed to do

when you're at
your homecoming dances

and your pep rallies?

Hey, I'm not going
to Rydell high...

And you could
take up a hobby.

How about the guitar
you made me buy?

That's still in the closet.

You can learn
to play that.

That sounds like a lot
of effort on my part.

Come on, honey.
Let me go to school.

I'll wear a uniform.

Ok, fine.
Go to school.

I love you, I love you.
I love you.

Mmm.

Not till the morning!

All right!

Wow. Still studying, huh?

Yep. Queens college
for knowledge, baby.

You, uh,
how you doing?

Oh, I'm
a little stressed.

This philosophy paper's due
Tuesday, 9:00 a.m.,

and the Professor said
"if it's not in on time,

it's fish wrap."

Well, been
pretty busy myself.

Wrote a little song.

You wrote a song?
Mmm-hmm.

That's good progress
in only one week.

Want to hear it?

I think I need to, yes.

All righty then,
here we go.

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Arthur, Arthur,
Arthur, Arthur ♪

♪ Arthur, Arthur,
Arthur, Arthur ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie

ok, that is really good.
That is good.

I didn't get to
the bridge yet.

That's ok.
It gives me something
to look forward to.

Ok.
Ok, then.

[Clears throat]

[Sighs]

So, you want
to go for pizza?

Honey, I can't,
you know?

You know, I-I'm a little
under the gun here.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't know,
play your guitar.

I already did that.

Wrote a song.

Yeah, Doug.
Come on,

I am under
a lot of pressure, ok?

And I'm starting
to get a headache, so--

a headache?
Sounds like a little
pizza's what you need then.

Doug, stop it!
Now, come on,

you know how important
this is to me.

Ok, yeah. I also know
that you promised me
that you'd make time for me.

I knew this would happen.

Ok, so I underestimated
how hard this was gonna be.

Just cut me a break here.

You're--you're
not really that upset

because I can't
go for pizza, are you?

Because you haven't
gone out for pizza in days.

I don't even
know you anymore.

It's obvious
I am not gonna get
any work done here,

so if you need me,
I will be at the library.

Believe me,
I won't need you.

I'll be too busy here
gettin' my groove on.

Great.

♪ Doug and pizza,
Doug and pizza ♪

♪ Doug and pizza,
Doug and pizza ♪

♪ toppings, toppings,
toppings, toppings ♪

Wow! Go away
for a few years

and they totally
revamp the menu on you.

So you gonna
get something?

No, I can't.
I used up all
my fat points for the day.

My God! The chicken strips
sound incredible.

What--what are they,
lightly breaded?

I'll bet they're
lightly breaded, right?

Yeah, I guess they are.

What kind of dipping sauce
are we talking about?

Honey mustard.

Ah. That's so perfect.

Will you just
get them already?

I can't!
I'm dieting!

But if you get the wings,
I'll pick at them.

You're not gonna
pick at them.

I'll come back
from the bathroom,

there'll be chicken
bones everywhere,

and you'll be huddled
in the corner, crying.

Ah!

That is so not true.
I've been very disciplined.

You know that
I've lost weight,

and you haven't
even told me how good I look.

What do you
want me to say?

"Hey, sis!
Great ass!"

Really?
Great how?

All right. I gotta get
out of here by 9:00.

I want to grab
a few minutes with Carrie

before she starts
to work on her paper.

How sad is that?
I'm married to a person
who does homework.

Are you about to go
on another rant about this?

Just warn me so I can
fling myself into traffic.

Well, I'm sorry,
but it's unnatural,

you know,
a grown woman in school,

it's--it's like
a 40-year-old guy with braces.

What are you...
Don't look at me like that.

What? You want
to know what I think?
No.

I think you're
intimidated by it.

Ok. What'd you get stuck on,
the "n" or the "o"?

Too bad.
It's true.

She wants
to finish college,

and you are petrified

that it means
she'll leave you behind.

What? Ok, first of all,
I'm a teamster.

I don't petrify.

Second of all,
that's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

Fine.

And what if
I was afraid of that, huh?

No, really.
Think about it.

She--she--she aces
this class, right?

Finishes college,
goes to law school.
Where does that leave us?

At dinner she tells me
about the guy she saved

from the electric chair
and I'm like,

"oh, yeah? Really?
I just got
a new beaded truck seat."

You know,
instead of thinking
about yourself for 5 minutes,

why don't you start
thinking about her?

You know,
all she's trying to do

is--is accomplish something
to feel better about her life.

Instead of bitching,
maybe you could throw her

a little support, hmm?

You're fat.

What I'm saying is

I think Plato's careful
organization of his dialogues

is only one of a lot

of devices he used
to make his point.

You mean, like,
even the setting

and--and the names
of the characters

is a deliberate
choice he made?

Absolutely!

(Carrie)
Come on, car!

You can only sit here
with this dumb smile
on your face

for so long.

Say something
halfway intelligent here.

Problem is, Plato took
great care not to leave

any obvious tracks
of the plans of his dialogues.

Right?

Totally.

That's true.
That is why...

(Carrie)
Ugh! I'm such an idiot!

Come on, Carrie,
you're letting

miss perky breasts here
show you up.

Look at her,
with her perky breasts!

Think of something smart
to say.

(Man)
...A very tricky fellow...

(Carrie)
♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

Oh, my God! Not now!
Not this damned song now!

Focus.

You must have
one good thing

to say about
this Plato guy.

You've been reading
about him for 2 weeks.

Of course, that's
with working 10 hours a day.

And trying
to care for my dad,

and trying to keep
my marriage intact.

I'll bet perky breasts
doesn't have to deal
with any of that.

Or scraggle beard.

Perky breasts
and scraggle beard.

Sounds like
a new cop show.

Help, scraggle beard.
I'm hit.

What do you think, Carrie?

Um, I can't help
but wonder, you know,

was Plato really
a student of socrates

or was he, in many ways,
a student of himself, hmm?

Yeah. We just
wanted to know

if you were in the mood
for Chinese.

Totally.

Oh, hi!
You're home. Good.

Listen.
We need to talk.

Yes. We d-definitely
need to talk.

I don't want school
to come between us anymore.

I--I know. I know.
Me, neither. This is great.

Good! That's why
I decided I'm gonna quit!

Quit?
Yes!

Doug, you don't like me
being there,

it's making us argue,
so that's it! I'm gone.

I was just gonna say that
you should stay in school

and that I should
be more supportive.

I had a little speech planned

that was gonna lead
to great make-up sex.

You're ruining it!

Doug! No, no, no!
You got it backwards.

You see,
I got caught up

in this whole stupid
school thing

that I wasn't being
supportive of you.

Like with that great
"Doug and Carrie" song,

which, by the way,
is growing on me

like nobody's business.

So, you're doing this
for me?

Yes. Turn up your
miracle ear, corky. For you.

I don't want you
to do it for me.

Well, too bad!
I'm doing it for you!

Well, then don't do it!

I am doing it.
You have no say
in the matter!

Why are you
fighting me on this?

Because I can't read!

I mean, I can read.
Not that.

It's just that
I don't understand

what the hell
I'm reading.

Why not?

'Cause, I cannot
wrap my brain
around all this, you know?

It's like, I'm supposed
to turn in a 10-page paper

on the allegory
of the cave,

and I'm still struggling
with the concept

of 2 darrins
on bewitched.

That's it. I--I thought
I was smart enough,

but I'm not.

That's crazy, Carrie!
You are smart.

Oh, you're just saying that
'cause you're married to me.

Hey! I wouldn't have
married you in the first place
if you weren't so smart.

Really?

Actually, I probably
would have.
I was pretty horny then.

Come on!
You can't quit now!

Yes, I can!

No, you can't!
Now, come on!

We're going back
to the library,

and we're gonna stay
as long as it takes for you
to write the paper

we both know
you can write.

And if that
doesn't work,

we'll just buy one
on the Internet.

Just remember,
I'm here for you.

Your job is to
work on the paper.

I take care of all else.

Food, waste,
et cetera.

Ok, but I'll take care
of my own waste, though.

It's your call.

Oh, man! There's a woman
on the microfilm machine,

and it's
the only one, too.

Ok, you see? This is where
having a manager pays off.

Now, you just go
sharpen your pencil,
and I'll take care of her.

Mmm, wow.
God bless America.

Tuna in
a vending machine.

What's next,
hovercrafts?

You still on this?
You gonna be on this long?

Yes. I-I've quite
a bit of work to do.

Ah, gotcha!

No problem.
I'll wait.

Mmm, wow, dinosaurs.
Interesting stuff.

Tyrannosaurus Rex, man.
Whoo!

He's a big fella.

Betcha he had
a nice size ding-a-ling, huh?

Too bad his arms were
too short to get a go
at it though, right?

Strainin'!

I-I-I've got to go.

Ok. You have
a nice day now, ok?

All right.

Carrie! Carrie!

Plato!

Come on.
You can't sleep now.
What are you doing?

Oh! Where
did you go?

I went home
to get ready for work.
Did you finish the paper?

Uh, well,
let me see.

"Plato was
a wrgn frtta..."

Oh, my God!
My head must have
fallen on the keyboard.

Look. Slap a period on it,

and let's blow
this clam bake.

Come on! It's due in...
Oh, my God! 10 minutes!

Doug, I still have
to print it out,

and his office
is all the way

on the other side of campus.
We'll never make it.

Yes, we will!
No, we won't!

Hey! You listen
to me, missy!

I may not be
good at much in this life,
but I am good at one thing:

Getting packages
to where they're going
on time, every time.

Overnight service
available

in the continental
United States.
No Sunday delivery.

For more information, go to
w.W.W dot I.P.S dot net.

I had coffee.

♪ Cinderella
dressed in yellow ♪

♪ went upstairs to
kiss a fellow, then the-- ♪

[Shrieks]

Come on!

Ok!

We're gonna make it,
aren't we?

Yeah!
We gotta hurry!

Oh, my God!
Are you all right?

I was fine until
the phone landed on me.

Go! Just go!

Oh, boy.

(Doug)
Ok, everyone.

Um, most of you know me
as beer-drinking,

dart-playing,
slightly-mysterious Doug.

Tonight, meet thoughtful-poet-
with-a-message Doug.

(Crowd)
Whatever.

Aw, screw y'all.

This one I'm dedicatin'
to my--my baby

who proved that not only
does she have

the looks
in this relationship,

but she's also
got the brains

by acing her college paper
with a c-minus.

[All cheering]

No, no, no.
The wings are hers.

But, uh, she needs
dipping sauce.

All right, car,
this one is for you.

It's called
love will keep us together.

[Doug clears throat]

[Off-key]
♪ love

♪ love will keep us

♪ togeth...

♪ Toget--toget...

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

[Crowd cheering]

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie,
Doug and Carrie ♪

♪ Doug and Carrie!