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1
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:09,960
Don't you pay attention
to the news?
2
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,160
They want to destroy our way of life, Mum.
3
00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:13,640
I'm only protecting us.
4
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,960
With respect,
your opinion's garbage.
5
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,520
That's the problem with free speech.
6
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,880
Great idea till you realize
it applies to everybody.
7
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,880
Mum, it's true. People are coming
into the country and taking all the jobs.
8
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,880
Oh, my God, I've raised a Tory.
9
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,160
Olive, the people coming into the country
are you.
10
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,000
No, I was born here.
11
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,240
To an immigrant!
12
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,440
Immigrant!
That's what Daddy said they're called.
13
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,800
Oh, did he? Well, I should stop
taking all your jobs then.
14
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,400
Like scrubbing the toilet,
cleaning the kitchen, tidying up...
15
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:43,880
Hey, no!
16
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,120
Take back control, Olive!
17
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,680
Make Britain great again
by cleaning your own room.
18
00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,240
I'm only doing the jobs you won't do.
19
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,480
So Leonardo DiCaprio drowned in Titanic
20
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,440
and then he never dated a woman over 25
ever, ever again.
21
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,160
Oh. There's Millie.
22
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,360
Beast! Let me tell the teacher
she's been bullying you.
23
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:07,280
Oh, and make things worse? No way.
She's very powerful.
24
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,040
Yesterday, she got all the other girls
to say my coat was ugly.
25
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,760
That coat was Stella McCartney.
Tasteless little ditch pig!
26
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,880
You can't say that about a child!
27
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,840
Can too, if I'm defending my child
28
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,200
and the child of Sir Paul
and Linda McCartney.
29
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,720
From the vegan sausages? That's her mum?
30
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,920
Mums are very impressive.
Apart from Millie's mum.
31
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,800
The only cow I'd happily slaughter.
32
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,640
I can manage things at school myself.
Don't worry about me.
33
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,040
- You're really brave. Are you sure?
- Yes.
34
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,120
- I don't want to be late. Love you!
- Love ya. Happy birthday!
35
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:42,680
Excuse me, Jane?
36
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,840
- Your coat is ugly.
- What are you talking about?
37
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,600
I have had it with your evil daughter
and her demon mouth.
38
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,240
- Mum, I forgot my water bottle.
- Oh, hey, sweetheart. Sorry. Here you go.
39
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,320
Have a good day.
40
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:55,760
Bye!
41
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,800
Love ya!
42
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:00,560
You need to sort your family out.
43
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,520
Katherine, I know the girls
have had their differences, but...
44
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,880
Well, Millie is dyslexic,
so things can get lost in translation.
45
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,320
Millie is dicks-lexic.
46
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,920
Mmm, dyslexic. Maybe a coffee morning?
47
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,680
- We can hash out a strategy. Just us mums!
- No, no.
48
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,280
No more coffee mornings.
None of you need more caffeine.
49
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,360
It would be easier to solve these problems
50
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,320
if you were just generally
a little bit more involved with the PTA.
51
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,160
Maybe you could...
52
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,960
Maybe I could fuck your man.
53
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,200
I beg your pardon?
54
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,600
Yeah. I will come for your man
every day of the week
55
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,880
until you are able to have
some meaningful conversations
56
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,040
about empathy in your home.
57
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,560
It is not that hard
to be a decent fucking mum!
58
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,440
♪ When I woke upI was thinking bout them diamonds ♪
59
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,800
♪ Gotta gotta gotta
Gotta go mine them diamonds ♪
60
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,600
♪ Diamonds, diamonds, diamonds ♪
61
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,200
♪ Diamonds, diamonds
Diamonds, diamonds ♪
62
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,640
♪ Really, really want it
I really, really need it ♪
63
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,960
♪ Diamonds, diamonds
Diamonds, diamonds ♪
64
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,640
♪ I really, really want it
I really, really need it ♪
65
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,240
♪ Diamonds, diamonds
Diamonds, diamonds ♪
66
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:37,520
Oh, I ordered paint.
67
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,520
Oh! You're not paint.
68
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,960
I could be paint.
69
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,640
Or I could be
an incredibly handsome young dentist,
70
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,360
who's finished work early to take you
girls out to dinner for Olive's birthday.
71
00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,080
Oh, thank you. Honey, she loves peonies.
72
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,160
No, those are for you.
73
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,720
It's always just us on her birthday.
74
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,680
Oh, sounds very exclusive.
75
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:02,760
Yeah!
76
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,520
- Did you need to use the bathroom or...
- No, no, I'm good.
77
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,160
Um...
78
00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:15,760
You do know I'm more than a Saturday guy,
right? I want to be a part of this family.
79
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,720
You are a part of this family.
80
00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,760
An important peripheral part.
81
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,960
Well, I really want to be let in.
82
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,400
Paint!
83
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,560
Okay, so how about this weekend
we do anal?
84
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,360
What? No, I meant "let in."
'Cause we were talking about...
85
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,960
That's not what...
'Cause that's... I mean...
86
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,120
I mean, I'll do it.
Like, that's what I do,
87
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,480
but that's, um...
That's... That's not what I meant.
88
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,600
Okay.
89
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:45,080
Say hi to Bev for me, will you?
And, uh, tell Olive I said happy birthday.
90
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,720
I will. I love you.
91
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,720
See you later, weirdo.
92
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:51,960
Oh, and just, um...
93
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,400
text before you stop by next time.
94
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,240
Jesus.
95
00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,400
Who was that?
96
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,080
Evan, showing up here
in the middle of the day, unannounced.
97
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,560
Oh, my God, he's getting bold.
98
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,160
What, you've only been dating
for what, five, six hundred days now?
99
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,240
Yeah. And now he's trying
to take me to dinner.
100
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,960
Like, "Slow down,
you thirsty little freak".
101
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,440
Yeah, babes.
He is being thirsty, isn't he?
102
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:18,000
Turning up on your daughter's birthday,
bringing flowers? Bin him!
103
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,680
I will bin him
if he tries to change our arrangement.
104
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,000
I had it perfect. Bang him once a week,
105
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,680
live my life the rest of the time,
and free dental.
106
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,000
Why can't I find a man
who just wants to have casual sex?
107
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,320
Because you're over 30. That's why.
108
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,040
That's the landscape we're working in.
Evan's lovely.
109
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,560
What he doesn't realize is he'll like me
a whole lot less if he sees me more.
110
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:41,160
You gotta keep it to once a week,
and that's the magic of our relationship.
111
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,280
- Mum!
- Okay, here we go!
112
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,560
Here you go.
113
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,000
Okay.
114
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,680
You give me your helmet.
115
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,640
Aw.
116
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,720
Looks like nobody's home.
117
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,160
Oh, honey,
it looks like I got the time wrong.
118
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,760
That's my fault, I'm sorry.
119
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,040
Dumb motherf...
120
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,280
Daddy!
121
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,160
Hey, sweetheart!
122
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,920
It's dangerous to sneak up like that,
123
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000
'cause you know Daddy's got his boat
heavily armed.
124
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,680
And speaks in the third person,
and is a twat.
125
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,000
- Mummy got the time wrong.
- Well, Mummy drinks. Time of what?
126
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,840
- Have you forgotten?
- No, Olive, Daddy's only kidding.
127
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,440
He knows it's your birthday.
128
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,200
- Gotcha!
- See?
129
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,400
Course I knew it was your birthday.
130
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,680
Hey, you are getting so big
that I think it's time...
131
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,560
Every fucking year.
Does she remind me?
132
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,136
No, she doesn't.
133
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,480
...for your very own...
134
00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:58,560
...birthday dynamite!
135
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,120
- No!
- Awesome!
136
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,480
I can honestly say
I was only half expecting explosives.
137
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,480
Daddy, can we use it now
to blow up some trout?
138
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,840
Aw. We'll go fishing this weekend, baby.
139
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,736
I think a family of mice died under
the toilet. We can use them as bait.
140
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,640
Great. So let's just
sing the song and then we can go.
141
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,040
♪ Happy birthday to... ♪
142
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,840
Um, no. Please, Mum and Dad,
I'm not making a fuss this year.
143
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,920
But, Olive, it's tradition.
It's your birthday.
144
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,240
You'll always be our baby.
145
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,440
- Would a baby have her own dynamite?
- Uh, yeah!
146
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,960
Coolest dad ever. You're welcome!
147
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,600
All right. Well, we're really in a hurry,
so let's go.
148
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,040
Aw, happy birthday,
my sweet little angel girl.
149
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,560
I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
150
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,480
- I love you.
- Love you, Dad. Bye!
151
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,800
Thank you.
152
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,440
Right. How old are you now?
153
00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:13,536
- Thirty-three.
- I'm nine.
154
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,520
And I'm not getting any younger,
so could you please make her have my baby?
155
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,680
We do usually advise that children
aren't present at these appointments.
156
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,000
It was my idea to come.
157
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,040
How dare you speak about my daughter
like she isn't here?
158
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,200
This is her birthday present.
159
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,520
My apologies, Olive.
160
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,520
Thanks.
161
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,080
Coming to get the blood of a man
is my main present.
162
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,440
- Blood?
- Yeah.
163
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:35,840
I see.
164
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,480
What's your reason
for wanting a child this way?
165
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,840
Well, my entire family are dead.
166
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,360
To me.
So when Olive was born, I was all alone,
167
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,600
but now we have each other for support
168
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,720
and we both agree
that we're ready for this next step.
169
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,240
And my dad is a pop star, so we'll take
famous blood if you've got it.
170
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,720
Her dad was in a boy band.
171
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,920
Last one to get up off the stool.
172
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,520
Okay. So...
173
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,840
your test results show that if
you're serious about growing your family,
174
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,080
Olive is wise to be in a hurry.
175
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,160
Thank you.
176
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,800
Egg production slows down dramatically
for women approaching their mid-30s.
177
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,120
Your best chance of conceiving
is to do it now.
178
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,400
Doctor, I'm only 33
179
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:22,280
and "it" looks about 16,
so trust me, I have plenty of time.
180
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,400
Trust me, you don't.
181
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,560
We have donors in their late teens
and early 20s.
182
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,400
- Ew.
- They're match fit...
183
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,560
for a geriatric pregnancy.
184
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,400
What did you just call me?
185
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,960
Olive, we're leaving.
186
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,720
Great. Where are we going to get
the blood from now?
187
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,520
She's a remarkable child.
188
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,240
I know! I did that!
189
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,600
I took her father's garbage cum
and I turned it into a princess.
190
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:49,760
You should be begging me for my business.
Begging me!
191
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,680
Oh, God!
192
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,120
How do any of you even have balls yet?
193
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:11,720
She's pretty.
194
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,240
I think I should have taken
one of the boobs down slightly.
195
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,560
Nah, I think you're bang on with those.
Maybe it's the angle of her dick.
196
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,000
- Oh, no, I enjoy that.
- Listen, I can't stay late.
197
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,760
I've got a date night with Tom.
I'm helping him put the kids to bed.
198
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,520
Reading stories is a two-man job?
199
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,880
Well, with my four, it is.
200
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,720
May I be excused until dinner, Mum?
201
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,560
You don't have to ask, gal,
but yes, you may.
202
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:34,080
I know. But I saw it on TV
and I prefer the formality.
203
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,800
You are so lucky to have her.
204
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,560
I found a full bucket of piss
in Eddie's room the other day.
205
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,120
He'd been pissing up there for weeks,
206
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,960
- keeping it in a cupboard.
- Men!
207
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,800
Ugh. Does it say in your jizz bible
if any of the donors are gay?
208
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,760
- I'd love a nice gay son.
- It should.
209
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,161
But it doesn't matter, I can't
go back there. They're too young. Look.
210
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,920
It's like a high school yearbook.
211
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,160
Well, Cameron sounds good.
212
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,560
"Always got a friendly smile."
213
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,440
He's happy
because he's a 19-year-old
214
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,760
who just quit his paper route
to jerk off for cash.
215
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,360
You sure you can't just do this with Evan?
216
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,920
Yes. I've reached my maximum
estranged baby's fathers.
217
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,600
Look. Shep's challenging, all right,
218
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:17,280
but, come on, Evan's hot.
Evan's got a job.
219
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:21,040
Exactly. He could pay for better lawyers
and destroy me when we split.
220
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,880
Why does your mind automatically go
to the worst-case scenario?
221
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,400
What if you and Evan just worked out?
222
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,880
Now you sound insane.
223
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,376
There will be a problem with Evan.
When I find out what it is,
224
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,960
I won't be tethered to him with a baby.
225
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,360
Don't have two then.
You nailed it the first time.
226
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,120
What if I could nail it again?
227
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,576
You know what? If it'll stop you
getting another mouse dog...
228
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,520
Look at 'em! They just shiver
and piss from their eyes.
229
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,240
Oh, hey!
Sorry about today.
230
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,880
Hey, it's okay.
I just wanted to show you something.
231
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,360
It's a Thai restaurant called Thai Tanic.
232
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,600
Oh, that's the best one so far.
233
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,520
Uh, pretty sure it blows everything
you've ever had out of the water.
234
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,800
It beats The Codfather
and it beats Abrakebabra, baby.
235
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,040
Mmm, you're kicking my ass.
236
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,280
Oh, you will never beat Thai Tanic.
237
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,760
Oh, I will. One day, I will.
238
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,960
- I'm going to bed. Love you.
- I love...
239
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,720
Millie's mummy told her
you're terribly immature.
240
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,520
Ha! Millie's mummy is a mess.
241
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:59,200
And she also said
that's why Daddy left you.
242
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,320
Is that true?
243
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,360
I love your Daddy very much.
244
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,000
Because he's such a clever man?
245
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,080
He is a genius.
246
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,520
Do you fancy my daddy?
247
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,920
Yep! How could I not? He's so gorgeous.
248
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:15,000
But then, how come my daddy's
not your boyfriend?
249
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,360
That is because, um,
250
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,080
your dad's, like, too good for me.
251
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,520
Yeah. That's how amazing your daddy is.
252
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:28,720
- You've got a crush on my daddy!
- Oh, big time!
253
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,040
- What's that?
- Look!
254
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,040
I made it for Millie
so that she'll be my friend.
255
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,520
Aw, honey, you don't have to be
everyone's friend.
256
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,360
Daddy!
257
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,400
Stop doing that!
258
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,640
What are you doing here?
You're supposed to do pick-up.
259
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,640
I thought you might like some meat
for the dogs.
260
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:48,880
The dogs are vegan.
261
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,640
You can't have vegan dogs.
262
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,160
Birthday weekend! Yay!
263
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,520
I'll grab you after school
and we'll have so much fun.
264
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,640
- We're gonna have a barbecue! Yeah!
- Yay, meat!
265
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,920
- Bye, Mummy, love you.
- Love you.
266
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000
Oh, and Daddy?
267
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,960
My mummy's got a crush on you.
268
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,680
She misunderstood.
I said I'm going to crush you.
269
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,120
Like I'd be afraid of a left-wing cunt
who won't eat cheese.
270
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:17,160
Who said that? Shep? Oh, there you are.
You blend in so well to your surroundings.
271
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,760
- You just get back from Afghanistan?
- You look like an art dealer's widow.
272
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,480
Lucky her. My psychic promised me
you'd be dead two years ago.
273
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,320
Unlikely. I'm one of the strongest men
on the planet right now.
274
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,240
- Strongest smelling.
- That smell is pure testosterone.
275
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,640
I gotta get back.
276
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,960
Bev and I are working on
a big new commission from Adele.
277
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,160
She saw us in The Guardian.
278
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,480
The Guardian?
279
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,280
Adele?
280
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,960
Jealous someone's still making records?
You...
281
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,080
Hold on. There's Millie.
282
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,736
- Kid that's been giving Olive a hard time?
- Yeah.
283
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,800
Ah. I know her dad, Brian.
284
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,920
He's in my Pilates class.
285
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,840
Runs that plumbing business
on the broadway.
286
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,840
Interesting.
287
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,496
- Motherfucker!
- No! Leave it!
288
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,040
Leave it! You'll embarrass her.
289
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,520
I've given Olive a fundamental
understanding of tae kwon do.
290
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,960
- She's choosing not to use it.
- Let me fucking go!
291
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,080
Calm, calm. Woosah, woosah, huh?
292
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,600
Hey, see?
293
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,880
You do not get a say
in how I parent my daughter.
294
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,520
She's not your daughter, shithead.
She's our daughter.
295
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,080
Yeah. Thanks to me.
296
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:28,920
Stupid prick.
297
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,000
So she goes to pay her bill
and the daughter says to me...
298
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,400
"Are you very poor? My house is
much bigger than this ugly little office."
299
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,776
- No!
- Six years old!
300
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,720
The entitlement is extraordinary.
301
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,680
You're never too young
to be an asshole, though.
302
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,360
I hate to say it, but I regretted
giving her such a good filling.
303
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:57,920
Another bottle?
304
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,440
Oh, yes, please, man.
It was the Argentinian Malbec.
305
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,400
- You having a good night?
- Yeah.
306
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,840
- A much-needed break from the little one?
- Yeah.
307
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,200
Why would you agree with him?
308
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,680
I don't need a break from Olive.
I like her.
309
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,360
Hey, I was just saying
it's nice to be having this time,
310
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,720
- just the two of us occasionally.
- Every weekend is not occasionally.
311
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,520
It's too long
to be away from your own kid.
312
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,040
She's with her dad.
I... I thought this was cool?
313
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,120
I wish she never went over there.
314
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,560
Then why do you let him see her?
315
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,240
Because he's her dad,
and love don't cost a thing.
316
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,760
J. Lo. You're right, it's always J. Lo.
Look...
317
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,480
I'm sorry, can...
318
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,080
Can we start again?
319
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,840
I just feel like
I should be using this time to sleep.
320
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,840
Katherine, I didn't mean to offend you.
321
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,560
Sorry.
322
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,680
I've had a lot on my mind. Um...
323
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,680
I've been meaning to tell you...
324
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:47,760
Yeah?
325
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,280
I'm ready to have another baby.
326
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,400
Uh...
327
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:57,840
Okay.
328
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,960
This is a big step. This is bigger
than what I thought you wanted, but...
329
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,120
You know what?
Fuck it. Yes.
330
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,760
Yes, yes, yes. I'm in. I'm in, 100%.
331
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,520
- When do you want to start trying?
- Soon.
332
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,440
Truth is, Katherine,
uh, we're on exactly the same page.
333
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,440
How about this?
How about we start with me moving in?
334
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,400
I've actually already got some boxes
packed. I've got a little papoose.
335
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,280
I would never carry a hot drink
over the baby.
336
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,840
That's out of the question.
I'm very responsible in that sense.
337
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,560
Am I talking too much? Should I back up?
I'll do whatever it takes,
338
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:28,960
- is what I'm trying to...
- Um...
339
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,600
- ...say.
- Okay...
340
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,320
- no.
- No, okay.
341
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:36,880
I need to do this with a sperm donor.
It's the safest way for me.
342
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,136
- Sperm don...
- Here we are!
343
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,160
Can you give us a minute?
344
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,880
God, I thought you were
being serious for a minute there.
345
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,560
- I'm not joking.
- Yeah, right!
346
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,600
Yeah, you have a donor baby
so that it's all yours
347
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,680
and you keep me at a safe distance
so nothing changes for you.
348
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,440
Oh, fuck me, you mean it.
349
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,400
Well, I feel really badly about it,
though.
350
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:06,400
Don't you love me?
351
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,200
I do love you. That's the problem.
I hate Shep.
352
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:13,560
You were a 23-year-old girl who got
pregnant by a lunatic in a boy band. You...
353
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,320
- You didn't love him.
- But I thought I did.
354
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,520
Well, I'm not Shep.
355
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,800
I'm not gonna end up in rehab
and lose my record deal,
356
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,560
because I don't have a record deal.
357
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,880
I have a medical degree.
358
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,080
I know you're not Shep,
but you could hurt me way worse.
359
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,920
I just want us to keep dating.
360
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,000
I... I'm not breaking up with you.
361
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,840
Oh, you're not? That's...
Ah, well, thank you very much.
362
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,320
Well, I don't wanna lose you!
363
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:39,840
Equally, I don't wanna be trapped
with you. Do you understand?
364
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,800
Fuck me.
365
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,000
One minute!
366
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,080
A lot of waiters say one minute and then
you never see them again, but me,
367
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,480
- I'm right in here.
- Mate, can you fuck off?
368
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,000
How about I just take you straight home?
369
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,240
- But we made anal plans for your place.
- Right.
370
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,040
That's what I'm saying.
Let's leave that part of this evening out.
371
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,760
So just regular sex then?
372
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,800
Hey.
373
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,760
Okay, so you're panicking.
374
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,080
- Have I made a mistake?
- Absolutely.
375
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,200
But it's not too late
to say you were joking.
376
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,640
Olive can't be an only child.
377
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,040
That's what Beyoncé's parents said
and then they had Solange.
378
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,960
Solange is the true visionary
of that family and you know it.
379
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,360
Are you with Tom?
380
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,320
Only for a few minutes,
when he farts himself awake.
381
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,040
God. It's sick, you know?
People living with men.
382
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,600
No, I love him!
383
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,440
His sleepy little face.
384
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,360
Some of them aren't that bad, you know.
You'll figure it out.
385
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,600
Look, at least you've got the rest
of the weekend to catch up with work.
386
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,160
Hi, you've reachedDr. Evan Patterson. Leave a message.
387
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,160
♪ Why you sat 'round upset
Looking all lazy? ♪
388
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,160
♪ I've been there too
But I never let it faze me ♪
389
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,920
♪ I told my father I'm making a million ♪
390
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,080
♪ You'll discover, grow, love and live ♪
391
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:08,160
♪ You know that you can do this ♪
392
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:13,040
♪ Scared to shoot 'cause you might miss
Didn't know your touch was Midas ♪
393
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:16,400
♪ It's all yours ♪
394
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:21,000
♪ Everything you want's for keeps
Everything you wanna be ♪
395
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,320
♪ Don't fall short ♪
396
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,080
♪ You're closer than you've ever been ♪
397
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,800
♪ Higher than you've ever seen ♪
398
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:35,200
♪ It's all yours ♪
399
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:39,240
♪ Everything you want's for keeps
Everything you wanna be ♪
400
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,160
♪ Everything you want ♪
401
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,880
♪ Don't fall short ♪
402
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:47,560
♪ You're closer than you've ever been
Closer than you've ever been... ♪
403
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,080
Hi.
404
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,640
Hi.
405
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,800
I know that leaving Shep was hard,
406
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,400
and I admire all the sacrifices
you've made,
407
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,640
and I don't blame you for being afraid.
408
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,680
Yes. Fearful. Not a bitch.
409
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:07,960
Yeah, well...
410
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,120
Well, a little bit of a bitch.
411
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,880
Look, I'm through paying
for another guy's mistakes.
412
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,000
I don't want you only on the weekends.
413
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,920
I want you, but both of you,
to be my first priorities all the time.
414
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:23,120
Think about it. You, by some miracle,
got Olive out of Shep.
415
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:24,880
Shep!
416
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,640
Imagine what you could get
out of a decent guy.
417
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,880
I did get Olive out of Shep.
418
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,600
I don't think it's your place
to decide that a kid doesn't get a dad.
419
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,320
I love you.
420
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,680
And it's cold out here.
421
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,720
Oh, sorry. Yeah, come in.
422
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,760
What is the meaning of this?
423
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,040
My private naked photos!
424
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,040
Oh, Jane, we didn't want you
to find out this way.
425
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:20,600
These appeared on my husband's desk in an
envelope marked, "Urgent plumbing quote."
426
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,360
I mean,
he was horrified when he opened it!
427
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,280
The truth is I wanted to tell you...
428
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,440
...about our ongoing love affair
and he must have panicked.
429
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,960
My husband is not
having an affair with you.
430
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,800
Mr. Michaels! Mr. Michaels!
431
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,096
- Wh...
- Excuse me, Mr. Michaels.
432
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:40,400
I'm sorry, but Jane has just brought
pornography into the playground.
433
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:41,360
Whoa, what?
434
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,680
It's wildly malicious, Mr. Michaels,
but I've chosen not to press charges
435
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,000
against the school.
436
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,320
Oh, dear.
437
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,600
No! She's planted these
in an attempt to seduce my husband!
438
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,400
Brian?
439
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,280
As physically disgusting
and ham-colored as Brian may be,
440
00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:59,280
you have to find it in your heart
to forgive him
441
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:02,120
- for taking these naked pics.
- They're bloody selfies!
442
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,040
Mrs. Wooms, I must respectfully request
443
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,280
that you remove yourself
from school property at once,
444
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:09,640
because I'm almost certain what you've
done here this morning is illegal.
445
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,000
Especially because you can see my pussy
in this one.
446
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,040
- Oh, dear, just...
- Thank you.
447
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,080
I am so sorry, Jane.
448
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,640
That was just a warning.
449
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,200
Mummy!
450
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,920
Hi! Oh!
451
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,360
Did you have a lovely time?
452
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,640
Yeah, I went swimming
and I shot a squirrel in the face.
453
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:40,680
Wow.
454
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,336
Yeah. She's getting to be
a really good little game hunter.
455
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,040
Bye, Daddy!
456
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,480
- See you later, Mum. Bye!
- Bye.
457
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,480
She got all her shit pretty caked in mud
at the survival class.
458
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,480
Great. I need to talk to you.
459
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,416
If this is about that meat for the dogs,
I didn't know it was stolen.
460
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,560
I heard about that venison heist over
my police scanner, same as everyone else.
461
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,520
No, I assumed it was stolen.
462
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,360
Grocery stores are giant
corporate tax thieves anyway,
463
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,000
putting small butchers out of business.
464
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,560
I haven't set foot inside a Starbucks,
any Starbucks, since they first opened.
465
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,720
Yeah, 'cause you're a rebel who's smarter
than everybody else. I got that. Listen!
466
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,160
I am going to have another baby.
467
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,480
Yeah, I can tell. You look like shit.
468
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,480
It was either that or leukemia.
Could have both.
469
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,880
No, I am not pregnant,
you GI Joe crackhead.
470
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,080
I am going to have another baby,
471
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,640
with a sperm donor.
472
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,120
You're gonna stick some pathetic
random loser's spunk up yourself?
473
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,480
Yeah.
474
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:39,560
Yours.
475
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,296
- What do you mean, mine?
- Well, I've been thinking for some time
476
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,600
that, even though you are, by far,
the worst human being that I have ever met
477
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,280
and I wish you a lifetime
of pain and misery...
478
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,120
we somehow made the best kid.
479
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,240
And she needs a sibling.
480
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,400
I knew this would happen.
481
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:05,800
You knew what would happen?
482
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,240
- You want to get back on my dick.
- Christ! No.
483
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,480
I've been to a fertility clinic.
We would do it there.
484
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,200
Hmm.
485
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,360
Yeah, I'm gonna have expenses.
486
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,640
You've dedicated your entire life
to being a wanker,
487
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,200
you might as well start
getting paid for it. Fine.
488
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,400
It's an interesting proposition, Kit.
489
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:24,800
So is that a yes?
490
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,760
I'm gonna need some time
to talk it over with my legal team.
491
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:31,960
Great.
492
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,520
Okay.
493
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,200
They love me.
494
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,680
Even when they hate me, they love me.
495
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,480
♪ You took the future ♪
496
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,760
♪ And you wrapped it up in plastic
Wrapped it up in plastic ♪
497
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,400
♪ Suffocate the magic ♪
498
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,840
♪ I told ♪
499
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:11,880
♪ You so ♪
500
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:19,240
♪ I told ♪
501
00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:23,720
♪ You so ♪
40222
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