Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,400
SOUTH PARK 912
http://south-park.cz/
2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,900
Jedu do South Parku,
chci si trochu orazit.
3
00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:15,500
V�ude sam� ��astn� tv��.
Skromn� lidi neznaj z.
4
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,600
Jedu do South Parku,
starosti nech�m za sebou.
5
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,300
Zaparkovat v�dy se d�.
V�ichni zdrav�j zvesela.
6
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,500
Jedu do South Parku,
trochu si tam povyraz�m.
7
00:00:28,850 --> 00:00:32,700
Poje� se mnou do South Parku
za prima p��teli.
8
00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:41,050
- Ty vole, m�m Jaka Plummera.
- J� m�m zas blb�ho AJ Feeleyho.
9
00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:45,250
- Pro� sis nekoupil karti�ky, Stane?
- Nem��u utr�cet, �et��m si na kolo.
10
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,250
Ha, �et�it pen�ze!
11
00:00:47,550 --> 00:00:50,850
Co ud�l�me te�? Je sobota
a mus�me si maxim�ln� u��t.
12
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,450
Jdem do Funplexu
zast��let si laserem.
13
00:00:53,950 --> 00:00:57,150
J� nechci utr�cet.
Poj�te d�lat n�co, co je zadarmo.
14
00:00:57,650 --> 00:01:01,850
Nezn� prvn� fyzik�ln� z�kon?
Ka�d� sranda stoj� nejm�� 8 dolar�.
15
00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:04,750
- ��dn� sranda nen� zadarmo.
- J� nem��u utr�cet.
16
00:01:04,751 --> 00:01:08,450
- Tak bu� �id, my jdem
st��let laserem. - M�j se.
17
00:01:11,350 --> 00:01:15,450
Ahoj, nechce� si zkusit test
osobnosti? Je z�bavn� a zadarmo.
18
00:01:16,150 --> 00:01:19,050
- Pros�m?
- D�l�me zdarma test osobnosti.
19
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,550
A co m�m ud�lat?
20
00:01:20,551 --> 00:01:24,650
Sly�el jsi o scientologii?
Je zalo�ena na knize Dianetika.
21
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:29,350
Mezi scientology pat�� osobnosti
jako Tom Cruise a John Travolta.
22
00:01:29,351 --> 00:01:32,950
Poj� dovnit� a za�neme s testem.
23
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:37,550
Najdeme pr�zdnou m�stnost,
plno lid� si dnes d�l� testy.
24
00:01:37,650 --> 00:01:39,950
- Ahoj, Briane.
- Ahoj, Kelly. Jak to jde?
25
00:01:39,951 --> 00:01:43,850
- Skv�le, tohle je Stan.
- Ahoj, jak se m�?
26
00:01:43,851 --> 00:01:48,750
- Dob�e. - Brian s tebou ud�l�
test a obezn�m� t� se scientologi�.
27
00:01:48,751 --> 00:01:50,550
Bude to z�bava.
28
00:01:50,550 --> 00:01:54,350
Tohle je n�bo�enstv�?
Proto�e moje rodina jsou katol�ci.
29
00:01:54,351 --> 00:01:59,650
To nevad�, scientologie je sp�
psychologie ne� n�bo�enstv�.
30
00:01:59,651 --> 00:02:02,250
Tak pro� tam m�te naps�no
scientologick� c�rkev?
31
00:02:02,251 --> 00:02:05,750
Jak hrajou Mustangov�, 6:2?
32
00:02:06,050 --> 00:02:10,550
- 7:2. - Par�da!
Poj� dovnit�, bude to sranda.
33
00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:12,950
"PROB�H� TEST"
34
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:17,850
Polo��m ti p�r ot�zek
a odpov�dej na n� co nejpravdiv�ji.
35
00:02:17,950 --> 00:02:23,650
Za prv�. �ekl jsi n�kdy n�co,
�eho jsi pozd�ji litoval?
36
00:02:24,950 --> 00:02:26,750
Jasn�.
37
00:02:27,550 --> 00:02:31,550
D�val bys rad�ji rozkazy,
ne� je s�m dost�val?
38
00:02:31,650 --> 00:02:32,750
Jo.
39
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:37,050
P�skal sis n�kdy jen tak pro z�bavu?
40
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:46,750
A posledn�, p�ijde ti n�kdy
�ivot nejasn� a matouc�?
41
00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:48,150
Ano.
42
00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:52,150
To je v�echno, Stane.
Konec testu osobnosti.
43
00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:53,350
Jak jsem si vedl?
44
00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:58,450
Nerad to ��k�m,
ale jsi p�kn� zmaten� d�t�.
45
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:03,750
Ob�v�m se, �e jsi naprosto
ne��astn� a deprimovan�.
46
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,750
Fakt? To jsem nev�d�l!
47
00:03:05,751 --> 00:03:09,550
Jsi bezpochyby skv�l�
kandid�t na scientologii.
48
00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:13,050
- To by t� mohlo rozveselit.
- Co m�m d�lat?
49
00:03:13,051 --> 00:03:17,150
Je to jednoduch�.
Pot�ebujem jenom 240 dolar�.
50
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:22,650
Stanley, v�bec nic jsi nesn�dl.
Co je s tebou?
51
00:03:22,850 --> 00:03:25,850
- Jsem naprosto deprimovan�.
- Pro�?
52
00:03:25,851 --> 00:03:28,550
- Nev�m.
- Jak dlouho se tak c�t�?
53
00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:31,750
Nejsem si jistej,
ale pot�ebuju 240 dolar�.
54
00:03:31,751 --> 00:03:34,350
240 dolar�? N�co jsi rozbil?
55
00:03:34,351 --> 00:03:39,150
- Na�el jsem program, kter� m�
m��e vyl��it. - Odpov�� je ne.
56
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,450
Ale jsem ne��astnej a m��ou mi pomoct.
57
00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:44,250
- J� nev�d�la, �e jsi ne��astn�.
- J� taky ne.
58
00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:48,050
M� v�bec p�edstavu o pen�z�ch?
Pen�ze nerostou na stromech.
59
00:03:48,051 --> 00:03:49,950
Je ti jedno, �e m�m deprese?
60
00:03:50,051 --> 00:03:53,550
Co kdy� si vezmu �ivot
nebo za�nu p�t jako d�da?
61
00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:58,750
Kdy� mysl�, �e m� tak �patnej
�ivot, tak si vem �spory na kolo.
62
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:06,350
- Ale to jsou moje pen�ze.
- V�ichni se rozhodujeme, co koup�me.
63
00:04:06,351 --> 00:04:09,350
Chce� nov� kolo
nebo se chce� zbavit depres�?
64
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:14,350
- Michelle, Stan chce m�t auditing.
- To je dob�e, bude� ��astn�.
65
00:04:14,351 --> 00:04:18,350
- To douf�m.
- Je to za��tek tv�ho nov�ho �ivota.
66
00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:21,950
Skv�le, tak�e m� 240 dolar�?
67
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:28,350
Perfektn�, tak jdem na to.
Poj� sem a j� t� zasv�t�m.
68
00:04:28,750 --> 00:04:33,550
Scientologii zalo�il v�znamn�
mu� jm�nem L. Ron Hubbard.
69
00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:39,750
Pan Hubbard zjistit, �e negativn�
emoce zp�sobuj� takzvan� thetani.
70
00:04:39,751 --> 00:04:40,350
Fakt?
71
00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:46,350
Ano, a proto�e byl takov� g�nius,
na�el zp�sob, jak se thetan� zbavit.
72
00:04:46,351 --> 00:04:50,250
Tohle je e-metr,
hlavn� n�stroj scientologie.
73
00:04:50,251 --> 00:04:54,950
Chytne� tyto dr��ky a j�
s tebou budu mluvit o tv�m �ivot�.
74
00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:59,350
Odtud vezmu �daje
a ur��m �rove� tv�ho thetana.
75
00:04:59,351 --> 00:05:02,850
- �rove� thetana.
- Poj� do auditingov� m�stnosti.
76
00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:10,250
Tito lid� audituj� s e-metrem,
aby se zbavili negativn�ch emoc�.
77
00:05:10,950 --> 00:05:15,250
Uvolni se, Stane,
a uchop dr��ky e-metru.
78
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:18,950
Tohle m� rozvesel�?
79
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:23,650
Zhluboka se nadechni a j� z�sk�m
z�kladn� �daje o tv�m thetanovi.
80
00:05:28,450 --> 00:05:30,450
To je zvl�tn�.
81
00:05:30,550 --> 00:05:33,050
- Co?
- N�co se rozbilo.
82
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:36,550
- Briane, m��e� na chv�li?
- Jo. Ahoj, Gregu!
83
00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:39,850
- Stane.
- Pod�v� se na jeho �rove� thetana?
84
00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:44,850
Zkus�me jinej e-metr, tenhle je
zjevn� rozbitej. Promi�, Gregu.
85
00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:52,050
Vyhodnot�me va�i osobnost a kdy�
bude t�eba, za mal� poplatek pom��eme.
86
00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:54,450
To zn� rozumn�, �no.
87
00:05:54,451 --> 00:05:58,550
- Miku, mus�m s tebou mluvit.
- Omluvte m�, hned jsem zp�tky.
88
00:05:58,950 --> 00:06:01,650
- Nen� ti nic? Pot� se.
- Pod�vej se na tohle.
89
00:06:01,651 --> 00:06:04,950
- Co je to?
- V�sledky chlapce v m�stnosti D.
90
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,050
To nem��e b�t spr�vn�.
91
00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:13,050
Zkou�eli jsme to �ty�ikr�t
na �ty�ech r�zn�ch e-metrech.
92
00:06:13,850 --> 00:06:19,850
Po�li to do centr�ly v LA.
To mus� vid�t n� prezident. Hned!
93
00:06:20,550 --> 00:06:23,850
"CENTR�LA SCIENTOLOGIE"
94
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,450
Ten chlapec je
z horsk�ho m�sta v Coloradu.
95
00:06:27,451 --> 00:06:31,050
Jak m��e m�t napoprv�
takovou �rove� thetana?
96
00:06:31,051 --> 00:06:36,250
Jeho OT je 9! Moje je jenom 7
a jsem �lenem cel� �ivot!
97
00:06:37,050 --> 00:06:41,150
Na tento den jsem �ekal 42 let.
98
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:44,050
- Pane?
- Nech�pete, co to znamen�?
99
00:06:44,051 --> 00:06:49,150
V historii c�rkve
m�l jedin� �lov�k OT 9.
100
00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:57,150
L. Ron Hubbard �ekl,
�e �il minul� �ivoty.
101
00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,350
Tak�e kdy� zem�el, jeho
thetan by se m�l znovu objevit.
102
00:07:01,150 --> 00:07:03,750
N� v�tec se vr�til.
103
00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:09,650
Stanley, ne� p�jde� sp�t, vynes ko�.
104
00:07:09,651 --> 00:07:13,150
- Vyn�el jsem ho v�era.
- Okam�it�, Stane!
105
00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:18,250
Blb� smet�!
106
00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:21,750
Tady je!
107
00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:32,050
- D�ky, �e ses vr�til!
- Je n�dhern�!
108
00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:36,650
- Stane, co jsi sakra ud�lal?
- J� nev�m.
109
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:47,150
Ahoj, mlad�ku.
J� jsem �editel scientologie.
110
00:07:47,151 --> 00:07:50,650
Je mi ct� t� poznat.
111
00:07:53,050 --> 00:07:58,350
- O co tady sakra jde?
- Va�eho syna hled�me u� dlouho.
112
00:07:58,550 --> 00:08:02,650
Je reinkarnac�
nejslavn�j��ho v�tce na�� c�rkve.
113
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:07,450
- Co? - V�ichni scientologov�
se raduj� z jeho n�vratu.
114
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:10,650
Nechceme, aby se k v�m n� syn p�idal.
115
00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:15,450
My ho ne��d�me, aby se
k n�m p�idal, ale aby n�s vedl.
116
00:08:15,850 --> 00:08:18,450
Panebo�e, to je John Travolta!
117
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:23,350
Tady �ije L. Ron Hubbard? Panebo�e!
118
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:28,750
John Travolta a Tom Cruise jsou
velk�mi scientology. U� mi v���te?
119
00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:34,550
Chlap�e, v�m, �e si to nepamatuje�,
ale jmenoval ses L. Ron Hubbard.
120
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:38,450
Odhalil jsi tajemstv�,
kter�m za�ala scientologick� c�rkev.
121
00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:44,250
Stane, je pozd�, b� u� sp�t.
Maminka s tat�nkem to vy��d�.
122
00:08:48,450 --> 00:08:52,150
- Panebo�e.
- L. Rone?
123
00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:56,750
Jsi to v�n� ty!
Tohle je nejv�t�� den m�ho �ivota.
124
00:08:56,751 --> 00:09:01,450
- Mus�m j�t sp�t.
- To jsem j�, Tom Cruise!
125
00:09:01,451 --> 00:09:04,250
- J� v�m, kdo jsi.
- Nevedl jsem si dob�e?
126
00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:07,650
Nel�bilo se ti m� herectv�?
Kter� film se ti nejv�c l�bil?
127
00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:13,150
No, nejsi tak dobrej jako
Leonardo DiCaprio, ale jde to.
128
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:19,050
- Co? - Nejsi Gene Hackman
nebo ten, co hr�l Napoleona Dynamita.
129
00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:24,650
Nejsem nic.
Jsem zklam�n� v o��ch v�tce!
130
00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:30,150
- J� to tak nemyslel!
- B� pry�!
131
00:09:30,350 --> 00:09:33,950
- Tohle je m�j pokoj!
- B� pry�, pov�d�m!
132
00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:38,150
Tati, Tom Cruise
nechce odej�t z komory!
133
00:09:39,050 --> 00:09:42,850
- Co�e? - Tom Cruise se zamkl
v komo�e a nechce odej�t.
134
00:09:46,450 --> 00:09:49,450
Pane Cruisi, vyjd�te z komory.
135
00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:53,550
- Ne!
- No tak, je to d�tinsk�.
136
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,450
- Nikdy nevyjdu!
- Cos mu �ekl?
137
00:09:56,451 --> 00:10:00,750
- �e Napoleon Dynamit je
lep�� herec, ne� on. - Ach jo.
138
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,850
Pane Cruisi, nem��ete
tam z�stat. Mus�te j�t ven.
139
00:10:04,851 --> 00:10:07,450
- Co se d�je?
- Tom Cruise nechce odej�t z komory.
140
00:10:07,451 --> 00:10:09,650
- Co?
- Nechte m� b�t!
141
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,950
To nejde, proto�e vy nevyjdete!
142
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:23,500
U� jsou to �ty�i hodiny
a Tom Cruise je�t� nevy�el z komory.
143
00:10:23,501 --> 00:10:27,700
P�i�ly stovky div�k� v nad�ji,
�e to celebrita kone�n� vzd�.
144
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:33,700
Tome Cruisi, tady policie.
Pros�m, opus�te komoru.
145
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,500
V�ichni cht�j�, abyste vy�el ven.
146
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,700
Nikdo nebude na�tvanej
a v�echno bude dobr�, tak vylezte.
147
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:54,100
St�le nev�me jist�, pro� je v komo�e,
ale m�m tu slavn�ho zp�v�ka R. Kellyho.
148
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,600
Jen tak jsem tu st�l
a Tom Cruise se zamkl v komo�e.
149
00:10:58,601 --> 00:11:02,600
Pt�m se s�m sebe,
pro� odtamtud nevyleze.
150
00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:07,300
Nikdo neodpov�d�,
a tak si vyt�hnu boucha�ku!
151
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,800
�ekn�te, pro� je v t�
komo�e, nebo n�koho odd�l�m!
152
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,400
Pros�m pochopte, �e chceme
pro va�eho syna to nejlep��.
153
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,700
O Hubbardovu reinkarnaci se mus�me
postarat. M�l mnoho nep��tel.
154
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,300
Nebyl L. Ron Hubbard
spisovatel sci-fi?
155
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:30,000
Ano, ale byl tak� v�tec,
kter� v�d�l tajnou pravdu o �ivot�.
156
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,900
Tohle je moc.
157
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:37,100
Chceme Stanovi uk�zat
tajemstv� �ivota v na�� c�rkvi.
158
00:11:37,201 --> 00:11:40,300
P��sn� st�e�en�
scientologick� pozn�n�.
159
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,900
Pros�m, v� syn
si zaslou�� b�t osv�cen.
160
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:48,200
Stane, chce� sly�et velk�
scientologick� pozn�n�?
161
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,200
- Jasn�.
- Tak mu to �ekn�te.
162
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:55,500
Omluv�te n�s?
Toto je vysoce d�v�rn� informace.
163
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:57,900
Kruci!
164
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:03,000
V�t�inou mus� b�t n�kolik let
�lenem, abys sly�el tajn� pozn�n�.
165
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,300
Jsi p�ipraven sly�et pravdu?
166
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:11,100
- Asi jo. - Existuje d�vod,
pro� se lid� c�t� �patn�.
167
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:16,400
Mimozemsk� d�vod.
V�echno za�alo p�ed 75 miliony lety.
168
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:23,200
V tu dobu existovala galaktick�
federace, kter� vl�dl zl� vl�dce Xenu.
169
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,200
Xenu myslel, �e je
jeho galaxie p�elidn�n�,
170
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:33,200
a tak shrom�dil v�echny mo�n�
mimozem��any a nechal je zmrazit.
171
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:38,100
"V TOTO SCIENTOLOGOV� OPRAVDU V���"
172
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:44,500
Zmra�en� t�la nalo�ili
na k�i�n�ky podobn� DC-8.
173
00:12:44,601 --> 00:12:48,600
K�i�n�ky vzaly zmrzl�
t�la na na�i planetu, Zemi,
174
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:51,300
a shodily je do havajsk�ch sopek.
175
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,400
Mimozem��an� u� nebyli
zmra�en�, byli mrtv�.
176
00:12:55,500 --> 00:13:00,700
Jejich du�e ale �ily
a vzl�tly k obloze.
177
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,700
Ale zl� Xenu byl na to p�ipraven�.
178
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:10,300
Xenu necht�l, aby se du�e vr�tily,
a tak vyrobil ob�� ducholapa�e.
179
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:16,900
Du�e byly p�em�st�ny do
za��zen� pro ideologick� p�e�kolen�.
180
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:22,900
Zde du�e musely sledovat materi�l,
kv�li kter�mu uv��ily fale�n� realit�.
181
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:28,500
Pot� Xenu propustil du�e, kter� se
zmaten� za�aly potulovat po Zemi.
182
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:33,200
Za �svitu lidstva du�e kone�n�
na�ly t�la, kter�ch se mohly chytit.
183
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,600
P�ipoutaly se k cel�mu lidstvu,
184
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:41,300
��m� n�m dote� zp�sobuj�
strach, zmaten� a na�e probl�my.
185
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:48,100
L. Ron Hubbard n�m pov�d�l
tuto neuv��itelnou pravdu.
186
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,400
Te� t� ��d�me, abys
za�al tam, kde on skon�il.
187
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:54,600
Ale j� o tom nic nev�m.
188
00:13:54,700 --> 00:14:00,400
To nev�d�l ani L. Ron.
Pr� zav�el o�i a psal, co ho napadlo.
189
00:14:00,501 --> 00:14:05,000
- Taky to dok�e�. Nech to plynout.
- Zkus�m to.
190
00:14:05,001 --> 00:14:07,800
R�d bych psal v pokoji,
ale Tom Cruise nechce z komory.
191
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:11,300
J� v�m. Poslali jsme tam
na pomoc Nicole Kidman.
192
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,900
Tome? To jsem j�, Nicole.
193
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:20,400
- Ahoj, Nicole.
- Nemysl�, �e u� to sta��?
194
00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:23,300
U� bys m�l z t� komory vyj�t.
195
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:29,600
- J� nejsem v komo�e.
- Ale jsi. Mus� s t�m p�estat a vyj�t.
196
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:38,000
Nebudu o tob� sm��let jinak
a Katie taky ne. U� m��e� vyj�t.
197
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:42,400
- Ale j� tu nejsem.
- Ale jsi.
198
00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:47,700
- J� nejsem v komo�e.
- Tak jak s tebou mluv�m?
199
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:55,300
Nem��e� se skr�vat v��n� jenom
proto, �e ses Hubbardovi nel�bil.
200
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,600
Poj� ven, nikoho neoblbne�.
201
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,500
Ale j� tu nejsem.
202
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,900
Jo!
203
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:12,400
- �au, Stane, jdem do kina.
- Nem��u, p�u nov� tajn� pozn�n�.
204
00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:17,200
Stane, d�l� n�m starosti ta tv� sekta.
205
00:15:17,201 --> 00:15:21,400
Scientologie nen� sekta.
Je zalo�en� na faktech.
206
00:15:21,401 --> 00:15:23,800
L. Ron Hubbard psal sci-fi.
207
00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:27,600
�il na jacht� s mal�ma klukama
a n�kolikr�t ho zatkli.
208
00:15:27,701 --> 00:15:32,200
To jsou pov�da�ky lid�,
kte�� neznaj tajnou pravdu.
209
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:36,700
- Jakou pravdu? - To nem��u ��ct,
mus� zaplatit za l�ta auditingu.
210
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:39,700
D��v jsem byl v depres�ch
a te� jsem na�el smysl.
211
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,300
J� nev�d�l, �es byl v depres�ch.
212
00:15:41,301 --> 00:15:46,600
J� taky ne. Ale kdy� to nehodl�te
p�ijmout, tak u� nem��em b�t k�mo�i.
213
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:55,300
Stane, chci abys v�d�l,
�e Kyla stejn� nen�vid�m v�c.
214
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,100
Tome, tady John Travolta.
215
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,400
- Ahoj, Johne.
- Mus� ven, panebo�e.
216
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:14,200
- L. Ron mysl�, �e jsem �patnej herec.
- Mo�n� jsi ho �patn� pochopil.
217
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:19,600
Kdy� nechce� j�t ven,
tak m� aspo� pus� dovnit�.
218
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:24,700
- Dobr�, ale ��dn� lev�rny.
- ��dn� lev�rny.
219
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,400
- Je to tu pohodln�.
- Jo, vid�?
220
00:16:32,401 --> 00:16:35,100
Cejt�m se v bezpe��, bo�e.
221
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,300
Hal�? Hej, vylezte!
222
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:45,100
Tome, podle v�eho je
v komo�e i John Travolta.
223
00:16:45,101 --> 00:16:48,600
S podrobnostmi je tu op�t R. Kelly.
224
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:52,900
Jen tak jsem tu st�l
a Tom Cruise se zav�el v komo�e.
225
00:16:52,901 --> 00:16:57,100
Pak p�i�el John Travolta
a u� je taky v komo�e.
226
00:16:57,101 --> 00:17:00,700
Pros�m, vylezte ven z komory!
227
00:17:00,701 --> 00:17:04,400
Mus�m se uklidnit,
a tak vyt�hnu boucha�ku!
228
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,400
Je��i, je to tu zas!
229
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:10,300
Jestli nevyjdou z t� komory,
odpr�sknu tuhle svini!
230
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,200
Ano, je to skv�l�, Stane.
231
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:20,500
P�u, �e bysme nem�li l�tat v DC-8,
proto�e p�ipom�naj� Xenuho k�i�n�ky.
232
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,200
Ano, to je b�je�n�!
233
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:26,700
A �e Xenu ned�vno utekl
z galaktick� basy.
234
00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:32,600
- No ano! - A to nejlep��,
�e scientologov� n�m u� nemus� platit.
235
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:37,700
- Co? - Abychom byli c�rkev,
nem��em za pomoc vyb�rat pen�ze.
236
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,300
Nejsi blbej?
A jak na lidech vyd�l�me prachy?
237
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,200
Nejde o pen�ze,
ale o poselstv�, ne?
238
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:50,400
Tak po�kat, nev���
t�mhle kravin�m, �e ne?
239
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:56,600
Blb�e! Mimozemsk� du�e?
E-metry a thetani?
240
00:17:56,601 --> 00:18:01,500
J� myslel, �e jsi natolik
chytrej a ch�pe�, o co jde.
241
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,200
- Ale ��kal jste... - Co je lep��,
ne� nechat lidi v��it v blbej p��b�h?
242
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:09,200
Nechat je za to platit, blb�e!
243
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:13,000
Tak pro� pot�ebujete m�,
abych n�co takov�ho napsal.
244
00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:16,500
Proto�e kdy� lidi budou myslet,
�e jsi reinkarnace Hubbarda,
245
00:18:16,501 --> 00:18:22,300
koup� tvoje spisy a spole�n�
vyd�l�me 3 miliony dolar�!
246
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,700
- T�i miliony?
- Takhle podvody funguj�.
247
00:18:25,701 --> 00:18:31,500
Jen�e tohle je podvod glob�ln�ch
rozm�r�. U� mi kurva rozum�?
248
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:37,700
- Jo, rozum�m.
- Tak pi� d�l, tvoji lid� �ekaj�.
249
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,200
Zpr�vy ze South Parku.
250
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:44,100
Tom Cruise a John Travolta
po��d nevy�li z komory.
251
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,100
Policie se rozhodla
zkusit novou metodu.
252
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:54,700
Po��dali m�, abych sem �el
a vyt�hl v�s z t� komory.
253
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:59,900
Tohle je ��lenost,
pro� prost� nevylezete?
254
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:05,200
My odtud nevyjdeme,
tak m��e� j�t pry�.
255
00:19:05,300 --> 00:19:10,100
- Ale v�ichni v�s cht�j venku.
- To je jedno, my tu z�st�v�me.
256
00:19:10,101 --> 00:19:14,100
Za��n�m se zlobit,
tak si vyt�hnu boucha�ku!
257
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,100
Otev�te, po��t�m do t��.
258
00:19:17,101 --> 00:19:22,800
Jedna, oba v�s odpr�sknu.
Dva, zabiju n�jakou svini. T�i...
259
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:33,600
Te� jsem v komo�e.
Te� jsem taky v komo�e.
260
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:38,400
Draz� scientologov�,
n� v�tec dokon�il nov� pozn�n�...
261
00:19:38,401 --> 00:19:43,300
a p�e�te p�r pas��, ne� to
bude k sehn�n� za drobn� poplatek.
262
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,200
Tady m�te reinkarnaci
L. Rona Hubbarda!
263
00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:05,400
D�ky. Napsal jsem, �e mimozemsk�
du�e jsou z galaxie Nubanon.
264
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,700
- Nubanon.
- A �e...
265
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:20,200
- J� to nedok�u.
- Co�e?
266
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:24,100
Lidi, v�ichni hled�me odpov�di.
267
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:28,000
V�ichni chcem v�d�t,
kdo jsme a odkud jsme se vzali.
268
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:32,300
Ale ob�as chcem odpov�di
tak moc, �e uv���me v�emu.
269
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,700
Co�e?
270
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:41,400
Nejsem reinkarnace Hubbarda
a scientologie je jeden velkej podvod.
271
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:46,500
- Za tohle t� za�alujem!
- Co?
272
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,600
Mysl�, �e m��e� ��kat, �e na�e
n�bo�enstv� je podvrh? Za�alujem t�!
273
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:55,600
- S�m jste mi to �ekl!
- A te� to sv�d� na m�? Za�alujem t�!
274
00:20:55,601 --> 00:21:00,800
Ze scientologie si nem��e� d�lat
srandu! Za�alujem ti prdel i koule!
275
00:21:01,901 --> 00:21:04,700
Jak si dovoluje�
zesm��ovat na�i v�ru?!
276
00:21:04,701 --> 00:21:07,000
Z�tra usly�� od na�ich pr�vn�k�!
277
00:21:07,001 --> 00:21:14,600
M�me neuv��iteln� zpr�vy! Tom Cruise,
John Travolta a R. Kelly opustili komoru!
278
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:21,900
Tak�e nejsi v�tec! Ud�lal jsi
ze m� vola, taky t� za�aluju!
279
00:21:21,901 --> 00:21:25,800
- Fajn, tak m� �aluj!
- Za�aluju t� v Anglii!
280
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:29,800
- Jsi �pln� za�alovanej!
- Tak m� �alujte!
281
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,200
- Ud�l�me to!
- Tak do toho!
282
00:21:33,201 --> 00:21:35,900
J� se v�s neboj�m! �alujte m�!
283
00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:42,000
P�eklad: MND
�asov�n�: Pix
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
26450
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof