All language subtitles for S1E23-Ed Cries Wolf_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello.
I'm Mister Ed.

♪ [theme]

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

It's your turn.

Uh, move my pawn down.

Here?

Yeah. Checkmate.

Darn it. That's the fourth game
in a row you've beaten me.

Five, but who's counting?

You've just had
an amazing run of luck.

I'll beat you this time.

Mm-hmm. Well,
just to make it interesting,

how about a little side bet?

Like five sugar cubes.

Oh, Ed, I've told you
many times it is wrong to bet.

It warps your character,
it makes you greedy,

and I always lose.

Ah. My move, eh?

Yeah.

Go ahead.

Uh...

You're in trouble.

What did I do wrong?

You started the game.

Will you move
my second pawn down two, please?

Move it yourself.

Please. Those small ones
get stuck in my teeth.

[hums]

Now me, eh?

Uh-oh.

Ah-ah.

Ah.

Wilbur, you're not
much of a chess player,

but I enjoy
these hours we spend together.

I don't know
what I'd do without you.

Really, Wilbur.

If you would stop jabbering,

maybe I could concentrate
and win one of these games.

To show you we're real pals,
I'll help you.

Move your king's rook down
two squares.

Mm-hmm.

Mine up one.

x
Now yours down one.

Down.

Mine up one.

Bring your bishop
down one square.

Bishop.

Now my bishop in front of it.

[chuckles]
Checkmate. You lose again.

Oh, I'd like to get you
on a tennis court.

A tennis court.
Oh, you're beautiful.

Let's play another game.
And no help, please.

Okay, you set them up.

Meanwhile, I'll get us
a couple of apples.

[hums]

Kay.

Well, what did Wilbur
get you for your birthday?

I don't know yet.

You mean you didn't tell him
what you want?

Of course not. I believe
in taking potluck.

That's dangerous, darling.

You're liable to wind up
with a pot.

Oh, Kay.

Does he know
today's your birthday?

Well, I guess so.

You guess so?

Oh, listen to this poor
innocent child.

By now, you should have
gotten your gift

and exchanged it
for something more expensive.

Well, I think I know
what he's going to get me.

What?

Last week, Wilbur and I
were passing

Pierre's Jewelry Shop,

and I saw the most beautiful
pair of earrings

in the window,

and I pointed them out to him.

Sweetie, dogs are pointers.
Wives are grabbers.

You should have gotten them
on the spot.

Oh, I'm not worried.

Wilbur's probably out
buying those earrings right now.

Hi, Wilbur.

Hi, Rog.

Kay tells me--

Who are you
playing chess with?

With myself.

How are you making out?

I lost four times in a row.

Five.

Last time, I gave myself
some bad advice.

Kay just told me
you're getting your wife

some pearl earrings
for her birthday.

I know a place that'll
give you a wonderful--

Pearl earrings.

Holy cow, I forgot.

Calm down, boy, calm down.

Rog, thanks for reminding me.

I better get right down
to Pierre's

and pick up those earrings.

Pierre's?

You are buying your wife
genuine pearl earrings?

Yeah, why not?

Never let your heart
run away with your wallet.

This time, I'd like
to really surprise Carol.

I'll tell you what.
After dinner,

I'll bring her over
to your place.

We'll pretend we're
going to have a game of bridge.

Then I'll give her
the earrings.

We'll have a big birthday cake,

imported champagne.

Drinking cham-- What?

At my house?

Oh, I'll pay.

Oh, good. Fine. Yeah.

You said it. The little woman
deserves the best.

- And Roger.
- Yeah?

Would you do me a favor?

I want this
to really surprise Carol,

so don't tell your wife.

Don't worry. I only say
two things to Kay all day.

Good morning and good night.

All conversation in-between
is strictly hers.

Well, happy spending.

I thought old pickle-puss
would never leave.

Ed, guess what?

Today is Carol's birthday.

Swell. Set up the chess board
and we'll celebrate.

Oh. I can't play chess now.

I got to buy some earrings.

Um, in the middle of our game?

She's my wife.

Well, so what?

I'm your horse.

Sorry, Ed. I can't spend
all my time with you.

See you later.

Wilbur, let's compromise.

Spend your evenings with her
and your days with me.

Don't feel bad, Ed.

When it's your birthday,
I'll get you earrings.

Wife. Big deal.

I bet it would take her
ten minutes to run a mile.

Oh, hi honey.

Have you been in the barn
all this time?

Uh, yes. I just remembered
I've got to go downtown.

To get something?

Uh, yes.

For whom?

You don't have to tell me
if you don't want to.

Oh, I can tell you, dear.

I'm going to buy some hay
at the feed store.

Oh, thank you dar--

Hay?

Yeah. See you later.

- Wilbur.
- Yeah?

You've always said I have
pretty, shell-like ears.

A beach comber's delight,
my sweet.

Well, don't you think

they need a little something
to show them off?

You're right.

Why don't you curl your hair
over your ears?

Like that.

Beautiful.

I'll tell you a secret, honey.

I married you for your ears.

- Sure.
- Yeah.

I mean, the lips, the nose,
the eyes, all that stuff,

just part of the package deal.

If you want my ears,
they'll be in the kitchen.

[phone rings]

I'll get it, dear.

Hello?

How about getting back
to our csghess game?

I got to go down to Pierre's
and pick up Carol's present.

But Wilbur, we got to play.

It's the only thing
that takes my mind

off my poor, strained back.

You're just faking.

You just don't like
to be alone.

Now look, you play solitaire

until I come back
from Pierre's.

Pierre's.

I'm sure your wife
will appreciate

the pearl earrings, Mr. Post.

Yes. Frankly, I didn't expect
to pay so much,

but after all, what's money?

Hard come, easy go.

Well, you know what they say.
You have only one wife.

Yeah. And at these prices,
I'm glad she's only got two ears.

Would you like to have
the earrings delivered?

Yes, please.

The address
is 17230 Valley Road.

17230 Valley--

Wait a minute.
On second thought,

maybe I better
take it with me.

I want to surprise my wife.

But she might notice it.

The package
is very conspicuous, no?

Yes. That's true.

I know. I'll hide it
in the closet,

and then after dinner,
when we're playing bridge with our neighbors,

I'll go back
and sneak it out.

[phone rings]

Excuse me.

Vu
Pierre's. May I help you?

Yes. Mr. Post, it's for you.

- Me?
- Yes.

Thank you.

Hello?

Why did you hang up
on me before?

I'm sorry, I was in a hurry.

Look, you eat your hay,
and I'll play chess with you later.

No, Ed. I am not ignoring you.

Didn't I ride you
in the park on Sunday?

Okay. If you've got
burrs in your tail,

I'll comb them out.

See you later.

[laughs]

A friend of mine.
We're always kidding around.

It sounded to me like you were
talking to a horse.

But how could that be?

Thank you for wrapping
the package so nicely.

[phone rings]

Oh, excuse me.

Hello?

One minute.

Mr. Post, it's your friend
the horse again.

Thank you.

Now what is it?

Come home.
I've got a headache.

ñ
My eyes hurt.

Maybe you've been
watching TV too much.

You're right.
Maybe I need glasses.

Glasses? Now listen, Ed, I--

I know, but--

I know, but--

No, Ed, there is no such thing
as a horse optometrist.

All right, but Ed,
if you're kidding,

I'll twist a knot
in your tail.

Just this friend of mine, he--

Quite a character,
this friend of mine.

Believe me, Wilbur,
I'm very near-sighted.

Runs in my family.

My mother used to
bump into trees.

We'll find out.

And my father
was even worse.

He was married to Mother
for ten years

and never knew
what she looked like.

Yeah, okay.
Now read the charts.

What chart?

The one on the wall.

[both]
What wall?

I know. Stop the faking, Ed.

I want you to read
the fourth line from the top.

Start at the first letter.

Um, it's either a B or a G.

Or an I.

Or an X.

Never mind.

Read the big one
at the top.

That's easy. It's an O.

You're right. It's an O.

It is not. It's an E.

Ah ha.

Your eyes are perfect.
I tricked you.

No, my eyes are bad.

I know the Fairbanks
Optical Company

always puts an E
on the top of their charts.

How do you know the Fairbanks
Company made this chart?

That's what it says
right there on the bottom.

Manufactured by
the Fairbanks...

Optical Company.

How about a little chess?

Ed, I am tired of you
and your faking.

But I get lonely in here.

Four empty walls.
No one to talk to.

A horse can go stir-crazy.

Wilbur.

In here, honey.

The eternal triangle.

A man, a wife and his horse.

What would you like
for dinner tonight?

Or do you think
we should eat out?

Eat out? Oh, no, no, no.
We can't eat out.

You see, after dinner
we're going over to the Addisons'.

Oh? Is there something
going on there?

No, nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Just going to play some bridge.

Sounds exciting.

I hate to tease her like this,

but there's one thing
about a surprise gift.

You've got to give it
at the right time.

Are you going to be
at the Addisons' all night?

Of course.
It's my wife's birthday.

Why don't you just
hand her the earrings and blow?

Look, Ed, at 8:00,

when I sneak out of
the Addisons' house to pick up the earrings,

I'll drop by here
and say good night to you.

Big deal. Think you can
spare the time?

- Anybody home?
- Kay's upstairs.

Good.

I've got
Carol's birthday cake here.

Where can I hide it
that Kay won't find it?

In the kitchen.
She never goes in there.

Addison, doll,
who came in?

It was Wilbur, my love.

I'll duck this in the closet.
She's coming down.

Hello, Kay.

Hi, Wilbur.

Just dropped by to borrow
a cup of pencils.

What's Carol doing?

She's getting ready
to go to the market.

Why don't you join her,
my love?

Oh, no. I hate to shop
for anything I can't wear.

I'm going to the beauty parlor
and see what colors they're pushing this week.

Addison, I'd like
to get my coat.

Coat? On a stifling day
like this?

It's not only stifling,
it's hot.

It's so hot outside

that the pigeons are sitting
under the statues.

Addison, please.

Goodbye, my dear.

Doll, I'm in
no mood for games.

But sweetheart, I'm only
thinking of you.

If you wear a coat
on a hot day like this,

you might get overheated.
You might get a chill.

And before you know it,
you're in the hospital,

and there's only so much
penicillin can do.

All right, I'll wear
my little black sweater.

Great idea.
I'll go get it.

It's in the closet.

Well, I'll have my hair
back before dinner.

I'm glad
you're surprising Carol with that cake in the closet.

Kay, Wilbur would like this
to be a real surprise.

Now promise me
you won't say a word to Carol.

Oh, well, of course.

Well, see you.

Hold it, loose lips.

Why don't you stay here
until our bridge game tonight?

Wilbur, you trust me,
don't you?

Oh, sure.
But you know how it is.

You start talking to Carol.
She says, "How are things?"

You say, "Fine, Wilbur's got
a cake in our closet."

And before you know it,
she catches on.

[phone rings]

Will you please get that
while I hold on to the town crier?

Hello?

It's for me.

What is it?

I got an ear ache, Wilbur.

Rush over with
a couple hundred aspirin.

Well, I'm sorry. I don't need
any insurance, Mr. Christie.

Don't be too rough
on her, Roger.

Use leg irons
only if necessary.

Well, that was
a delicious dinner.

Let's hope we're lucky
at bridge tonight, eh?

It'd be nice to be lucky
at something.

Never mind.
It's too hot for a coat. I'll put it in the closet.

Oh, no, no. No, you should
wear a coat, honey.

It's so cool outside that
the pigeons who were sitting under the statue

are now wearing sweaters.
It's fine.

Wilbur.

Remember, honey.
No trumping my ace tonight.

[phone rings]

I'll get it.

No, I'll get it.

You go on to the Addisons'.

Hello?

There's a suspicious-looking
character

hanging around the house.

You'll say anything to get me
in that barn, won't you?

But Wilbur, this time
I'm telling the truth.

:F
Cross my fetlocks and hope to die.

Suspicious character.

Why don't you invite him in
to play chess with you?

Kay, you were so right.
He forgot.

I should have been
a grabber instead of a pointer.

There is something
I must tell you.

Yes? Sorry, my dear.
You were saying?

I was telling Carol
that it looks like another warm day tomorrow.

A simple weather report.
Beautifully put, my dear.

[door slams]

Sorry I kept you waiting.

Well, here we go again.

Posts against the Addisons.

If you don't mind,
I'd like to play with Roger.

I don't mind if Kay doesn't.

You can play
with anyone you want,

as long as the money
is in my name.

I could do with
a cool drink, too.

Honey, can I
get you something?

No, thank you.
I have everything I need.

There are some cold drinks
in the refrigerator, Wilbur.

Help yourself.

Carol, I've just--

Wonderful husband
you have there, Carol.

Thanks. That's what he keeps
telling me.

Happy birthday, honey.

Happy birthday, Carol!

Oh, darling!

You fooled me.
Oh, you're all so wonderful.

Big secret, wasn't it?

And that isn't all, honey.

[phone rings]

That insurance agent again.
I'll get it.

Oh. Happy birthday
again, dear.

Don't cut it, now,
don't cut it.

Beautiful cake, Carol.

Hello?

That crook's
in your house now.

No, I've already got enough
insurance, Mr. Christie. Goodbye.

Guy never gives up.

Now Carol, as I was saying,
that isn't all.

I have another surprise
for you.

Back in a second.

All right, darling.

Kay, what did he get me?

Kay.

I promised I wouldn't tell.

But they'll look lovely
on your ears.

Oh, just what I wanted.

That's right. Earlaps.

I should get you one
to put over your mouth.

Oh, Roger.

[key turns in lock]

R
[door slides open]

Hey, stop! Thief!

Another man in space.

Okay, buddy, put them up.

This is the law.

z÷
If you turn around, I'll let you have it.

I ain't moving.

Take one step
and you're dead meat.

Please, Officer,
just arrest me.

The wagon will be here
in a minute.

I just phoned the station.

Keep those hands up.

Please, don't shoot.
Please.

Don't turn around
or I'll blast you,

sure as my name
is Elliott Ness.

I'm not turning, Officer.
Please.

Just take me in.

Okay, okay,
what's going on?

Officer, I'm guilty.

I stole these things
from this guy here.

Oh, you did, huh?

Oh, my wife's earrings.

My wallet.

Officer,
I'm glad you got here.

This cop behind me
is trigger-happy.

Huh? What cop?

The only thing behind you
is a horse.

But there was a cop there.
I heard him talk.

He was holding a gun on me.
Said he was Elliott Ness.

Well, it couldn't be a horse.

There was a man talking,
not a horse.

A talking horse?

This man is obviously
in need of help.

Come on, buddy.

That's impossible.
You're right.

He was right. I need help.

u
Ed, I'm sorry I didn't believe you,

but this is what happens
when you don't tell the truth all the time.

Yeah, you're right.
You're right.

From now on, it's only
going to be the truth.

All right. Tell you what.

I'll sneak over later
and we'll have a nice game of chess.

Good, but hurry,
'cause I got a toothache.

Me, too.

Toothache?
Why is he holding his back?

Fú
Oh, I love my earrings, darling.

How did you know
I wanted them?

When you pointed to them
at Pierre's,

you nearly broke the window.

[Kay and Roger laugh]

Oh, and thank you, Kay,
for the perfume.

Oh, it's powerful stuff, doll.

Don't use it
if you're only kidding.

And thank you, Roger,
for the handkerchief.

My dear, it was nothing.

You're right.

A toast to my wife.

- Yes.
- Perfect.

- Carol.
- Carol. - To Carol.

- Thank you.
- [phone rings]

Excuse me. Be right back.

And you thought I'd forgotten
your birthday, huh?

Hello? Yes, yes.
She's right here.

Carol, Carol.

- For me?
- It's for you.

Nobody knows I'm here.u!

It's for you just the same.

Thank you, Roger.

Hello?

Oh, Wilbur, how thoughtful.
A singing telegram.

A singing-- Yes.

♪ For she's
a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

Happy birthday, Carol.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you very much.

SA Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.