All language subtitles for S1E22-The Other Woman_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

[carousel music playing]

Could you take pictures
of both children

at the same time?

Sure. My horse Bernadine
don't mind.

She can carry
the whole family,

and you can climb on,
too, lady.

Me? Oh.

Gee, you're lazy.
Come on, Ed, let's go.

Backseat driver.

Stop kidding around.

Who's kidding?
My bunions are killing me.

I never met
such a goldbrick.

Remember, it was your idea
to come to the park.

I thought
I was going to a picnic,

not a steeplechase.

You are just lazy.

Look at that horse
over there,

working for a living.

[Photographer]
I'll have your picture ready in a couple minutes, lady.

Thank you.
Can we all stay on the horse?

Sure. Bernadine don't care.

She's got a strong back.

Strong back?

That poor, old horse
is ready for Social Security.

She looks okay to me.

Please. She's due right now

for the rocking chair
and the shawl.

Come on, Ed.

Your picture taken?

No, thank you, no.

It's a nice-looking horse
you got there.

How old is she?

Bernadine's 18.

- How old is yours?
- Seven.

Although he acts
like he's ready

for the rocking chair
and the shawl.

Yeah, he does look lazy.

Hmm. Only time he moves
is to lie down.

How would you like
to buy him?

He's for sale.

No, thanks.

Bernadine's got
a lot of good years left in her.

Why, I work her
seven days a week,

12, 14 hours a day,
and she never complains.

Well, if you should change
your mind,

my name is Post,
and I live on Valley Road.

Huh, funny-looking kids.

Hey, lady,
they came out great,

beautiful children.

Wilbur, so you're going
to sell me, huh?

Well, you don't scare me
a bit.

No? Your four knees
were shaking like castanets.

That man's horse works
14 hours a day,

and she never complains.

How can she?
She can't talk.

Ed, some day
you're going to find out

that you can't enjoy life
unless you work.

I've been
pretty happy so far.

[Mister Ed grunts]

Making Bernadine work
14 hours a day.

There ought to be
a horse labor law.

Come on, Ed.
Let's go home.

Yeah, I've just got to talk
to you.

Why, of course, sweetie.

Are you and Wilbur coming
with us to the movie tonight?

I don't know.

Wilbur hasn't come back
from the park yet.

He spends so much time
with that horse.

Sometimes I--

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know Roger was napping.

Oh, you can talk.
He's fast asleep.

[chuckles]
Watch.

Doll, I'm going shopping.

I'm going to spend
all your money.

Now, if that
didn't wake him, nothing will.

He looks so comfortable
like that.

[Kay]
Oh, he is.

He always sleeps
with his hand on his wallet.

When do you expect
Wilbur back?

That's what I wanted to talk
to you about.

When Wilbur's
with that horse,

÷tI never know
when he's coming home.

Hmm. He certainly spends
a lot of time

with that animal.

Tell me, sweetie,
when you got married,

who signed the license,
you or the horse?

Sometimes I think I'd get
more attention from Wilbur

if I grew a tail.

Let me give you a tip
on how to handle your husband.

It's worked
with mine for years.

[softly]
Now, you see? It's just--

[speaking inaudibly]

Make sure that his wallet's
on the outside.

[speaking inaudibly]

[Ed sighs]

I don't know
why I bought you this saddle,

you loafer.

I should have got you
a sleeping bag instead.

That poor, old horse
Bernadine.

He works her
seven days a week.

That's
all you have talked about

since we came home.

She's 18 years old.

If Bernadine was human,
she would be 126.

Ed, that is enough.

Would you let
a 126-year-old woman

carry kids on her back?

If she enjoyed it, yes.

A great humanitarian,
you are not.

Look, Ed, Bernadine
is not my horse,

so what do you want me
to do?

Let her come live with us.

What's another mouth
to feed?

Don't press your luck, Ed.

I have enough trouble
with Carol, just keeping you.

Will you send me
out to work when I'm 126?

[snivels]

Oh, stop being so dramatic.

I can see the inscription
on my tombstone--

"Here lies Ed...kw

dead."

Look, I don't want to hear
another word

about that horse.

Wilbur, I hate to interfere
in other people's lives,

but if you're wise,

you'll take
a little friendly tip.

- What is it?
- Sell your horse.

[blows raspberries]

Sell Ed?
Why?

Either that
or sell your wife,

and with the cold weather
approaching,

I would say Carol
is a better bet.

Has Carol been complaining
about Ed again?

She certainly has.

You know, you're spending
too much time with him.

My boy, take
a little friendly tip.

Spend more time
with the little woman,

and it might not be
a bad idea to bring her some flowers tonight.

- Flowers?
- Mm-hmm.

That's a good idea,

but I wish Carol
had told me how she felt.

The time to start worrying
is when they stop talking.

You're right.

I remember, now.

Carol didn't say a word
just before I proposed to her.

She sat there staring at me,

so to make small talk,

I said,
"How about getting married?"

Wilbur,
I'll never understand

why you spend so much time
with that stupid animal.

[barn door slams]

You shouldn't have said that.
You hurt his feelings.

What?

Animals can tell
how you feel about them

by the tone of your voice.

They can?

Trouble-maker!

[Ed blows raspberries]

You're very juvenile.

What about
that poor, old Bernadine?

That is enough.

[Mister Ed]
Aw.

Haven't you got a heart?

All right.

126-years-old
and still working.

Ed, I'm warning you.
You better watch it.

How can I,
through that door?

.
You heard what Addison said.

I'm paying
too much attention to you

and not enough to Carol.

That's going to lead
to trouble,

and trouble
is the last thing

I want around my house.

I'm going out to buy Carol
some flowers now,

xU
and I don't want to hear another word out of you.

Now, about that Bernadine.

[groans]

I wonder where Wilbur went.

I'm afraid
we're going to be late for the movie.

He's probably
out for a stroll with Mister Ed.

I wouldn't be surprised
if he and that horse eloped.

Oh, I'd hate to miss
the opening of the picture.

You never know
what's going on anyway.

And what sort of
a nasty crack is that?

My dear, at the movie,

you'uwre either gabbing,
buying candy,

or looking for your shoe.

Oh, what a lucky girl I was

to have married
the perfect man.

No. No, my dear,

you were not lucky.
You were blessed.

Didn't Wilbur tell you
where he was going?

- [doorbell rings]
- He knows that--

Excuse me.

Wilbur.

Telegram, ma'am.

Are you Mrs. Pootz--
Putz-- Post?

Wilbur, this is
no time for games.

Congratulations
on your anniversary, Mrs. Post.

What anniversary?

You've been married
exactly three years,

eight months, six days,
11 hours, and 12 minutes.

I never get flowers.

Darling, you're right.

Tomorrow morning,
I'm going to turn you loose in the garden

with a pair of shears.

Thanks, doll.

Oh, thank you, honey.

You know,
for a while there,

I was beginning to think
you preferred your horse to me.

Are you kidding?

Ed may have
more legs than you,

but in nylons he's nothing.

Well, now that we've had
a belly-full of this mush,

shall we get on
to the movie?

- Right.
- [phone rings]

I'll get it.
I'll cut it short, honey.

I'll get the car.

Hello.

How can you sit
at the movie

while Bernadine stands
on fallen arches?

Look, I told you
I refuse to discuss it.

I'll-- I'll be right out.

I'll-- I'll phone you
from my office.

Be right back, honey.

Who was that
on the phone, dear?

Jerry Williams.
He wants to discuss a business deal.

It's kind of confidential,

so I'm going to phone him
from my office.

All right.

Oh, honey, don't stand
too close to the roses.

Why not?

Next to you,
they look like weeds.

Oh, isn't Wilbur wonderful?

Flowers, compliments,
kissing my hand.

If my husband acted
that way,

I would have him followed.

Oh, I don't have to worry
about my Wilbur.

He's like the geyser
in Yellowstone Park--

Old Faithful.

So young.

Ed, you are acting
like a child.

Now, I don't want to hear
another word about Bernadine.

But why can't she live
with us?

Two can live
as cheap as one.

Not when they both eat
like horses.

Okay, then I won't eat.

Give her my food.

Now where's Wilbur?

By the time we get
to that movie,

it'll be on TV.

Relax, doll.
The prices changed hours ago.

I'm sorry, Roger.
Wilbur had a call from Jerry Williams.

Jerry Williams?

He left
for Europe yesterday.

Well, sweetie,
he could have called from the boat.

That would be a good trick
since he took a plane.

A plane?

Yeah. Oh, no, no,
it must be somebody else.

I'd better turn off
the motor.

Why would xWilbur say
Jerry Williams called if he didn't?

That's a good question.

Kissing my hand,
bringing me flowers,

full of complements.

Why is he doing
all this suddenly?

Oh, well, darling,
it could be any reason.

Your husband loves you,
and he wants you to be happy.

Or he has
a guilty conscience.

Your reason
will sound better in court.

Ed, they're waiting for me.

Poor Bernadine
is 130 years old.

You said she was 126.

Well, you know
how women lie about their ages.

Look, I have just made up
with Carol,

and I don't intend to start
any more arguments.

Now, go to sleep.

I won't sleep.
Will you?

I don't want to hear
another word about this.

It's over.
It's settled. It's finished.

It's...

[Mister Ed]
Final.

Final!

About Bernadine...

Go eat your hay.

[Mister Ed]
Smarty-pants.

Ah, let's go.
Coming, princess?

Wilbur, who did you say
called you before?

Huh? Oh, Jerry Williams.

That Jerry Williams,
never stops working.

Here it is, 8:00,
and he's still talking business.

Several days ago
we started on an expedition to the movies.

What happened?
Have I lost the safari?

Sorry, Roger.

Come on, girls,
let's go.

Don't be suspicious,
dear.

Whatever you think
Wilbur's up to,

we are probably mistaken.

I just hope Old Faithful

isn't blowing off steam
for somebody else.

Boy, that movie
really put me to sleep.

Wilbur.

Huh?

Do you like my hair
this way?

Huh?

Oh, yeah,
like it right where it is,

top of your head.

Goodnight.

Would you like me better
if I changed the color?

Huh?

How about
if I dyed it red...

or-- or black...

or do you like
platinum better?

Honey, I'd like you
if you were bald.

Don't you care
how I look?

Honey, you can be
red one day

and brunette the next.

I don't care.

I like girls
with convertible tops.

- Wilbur.
- Hmm?

Do you love me?

Of course.

- Say it.
- Huh?

Say it.

Oh...

Night.

Is it so hard
for you to say, "I love you"?

I love ya.
[makes kissing sound]

I can't sleep.

Then take a pill.

I don't want a pill.

Would you mind
getting me one?

Something seems to be
keeping me awake.

[sighs]

Wilbur...

is there anything
you think I should know?

Wilbur, there's something
we must discuss.

I know you weren't talking
to Jerry Williams tonight,

and if there's
some other woman in your life,

please tell me.

ño
Oh...

No... No...

No, Bernadine.

No, Bernadine.

[sighs]

No...

I can't support two.

No...

Carol
would never let me have

another around the house.

I can't--
[muffled mumbling]

Bernadine.

Bernadine.

Bernadine who?

Bernadine.

Bernadine who?

Bernadine who?

Bernadine who?

÷
Ready for breakfast, dear.

What's for breakfast,
honey?

Your favorite.

Black toast?

Burnt eggs?

Charred bacon?

Where did you get this,
at a fire sale?

Maybe you should have married
a better cook.

Didn't you sleep well
last night, dear?

No, but you did...

with a big smile
on your face.

Hi, Kay.

Good morning, Wilbur.

Kay, I wouldn't go
in the kitchen.

You're liable to be hit
with a frying pan.

She is in a bad mood today.

I wonder why.

Kay, would you do me
a favor--

find out
what's bothering her?

s
You mean, you have no idea?

Hmm?

Oh, yeah, we talked
about it last night.

0
She made it very plain.

Well, what are you
going to do about it?

Hmm? Nothing.

She wants red hair,
it's okay with me.

Excuse me,
I'm going to feed Ed.

Now, who's Bernadine?

I thought you were Wilbur.

Bernadine who?

I don't know.

Wilbur talked about her
in his sleep last night.

Oh, poor, little doll.

Kay, I'm going to have it
out with him.

Oh, no, sweetie,
that would be the worst thing you could do.

Well, what do you expect me
to do, keep quiet?

i
Look, darling, once you tell him you know,

it could be the finish.

Just be patient.

Oh, don't eat that, Kay.
I burned it on purpose.

Mmm, tastes fine to me.

This is how Addison
always cooks my breakfast.

Oh, Kay,
what am I going to do?

Look, doll...

I'll have my husband
pump Wilbur.

Men tell each other things
they never tell their wives.

Oh, but then Wilbur will know
I know.

Oh, no, doll.

Addison may not be
the brightest man in the world,

but he ranks
with the sneakiest.

I wonder
what Bernadine looks like.

[rapid chattering
from phone]

Yes, Wilbur.

Uh, W--

Wilbur, stop shouting.

Stop shouting?

Why, I have never heard
of such a thing.

The crime is done.

I've already kidnapped
Bernadine.

Ed, you are going to get me
into a lot of trouble.

She'll never punch
a time clock again.

I'm putting her
out to pasture.

Ed, Bernadine's owner,
this Charlie Woods, just called me.

He knows she's missing.

Where are you calling from?

That phone booth
in the parking lot on Laurel Road.

Oh, I owe you a dime.

Dime?

I took it off of your desk.

Go ahead,
add robber to your charges.

Look,
I am not going to change my mind.

You know how I feel
about Bernadine.

You stay
right where you are. I'm coming over.

We're going to settle this
once and for all.

Oh, hi, Roger.
Look, I got to run.

Wilbur...

there's something
I want to talk to you about.

Not now.
I'm in a hurry.

But this is important.

You know, there comes a time
in every married man's life

when he feels
like stepping out.

Don't do it, Roger.
Kay's a wonderful girl.

Didn't Wilbur say
where he was going?

No, he just jumped
in the car and drove off.

But you were supposed to have
that talk with him.

- I did.
- Well, what did he say?

He said
I should stick with you.

What?

He never even came in
to say goodbye.

Oh, I'm sure this is
a misunderstanding.

Wilbur just isn't the type.

Of course he isn't.

And at least you'll get
the house.

[doorbell rings]

Wilbur wouldn't even look
at another woman.

Where's my Bernadine?

Oh...
[crying]

Mr. Post stole her
from me.

- Just a minute,
my good man. - I'll take him to court.

There are laws
against these things.

You have only yourself
u$to blame.

If you had treated her
properly,

she never would have
left you.

Mister, don't tell me
how to handle Bernadine.

I haven't laid a whip to her
in years.

No wonder
you can't hold onto her.

I don't want to argue.

Where's my Bernadine?

With my husband.

What's he want with her?

She's 18 years old.

18 years old?

That's right,

and she's got another
four or five good years

left in her.

That is no way to talk
about your wife.

What?

Bernadine is a horse.

He married her.
He ought to know.

Look, I don't know
what's going on around here,

but where's my horse?

I've got to take pictures
in the park.

I've got to make a living.

Do you mean Bernadine
is really a horse?

- Sure.
- With four legs?

What other kind is there?

Oh, thank you.

Hey, what's going on?

Mr. Post,
I've been looking for you.

Where's Bernadine?

She's outside.
I just brought her back.

What's the idea
of stealing my horse?

I didn't steal your horse.

My horse stole her.

No, I mean,
he didn't steal her.

He thought
she was working too hard.

Why, I mean,
he doesn't know--

Well--

Hey, what's going on?

You're a kook.

Excuse me.

I'm not well.

I've had better days myself.

- Wilbur.
- I know. I know.

You're upset
because I've been spending so much time with Ed.

Come here.

Why were you kissing
that man?

Why, Wilbur,
you're jealous.

I'm surprised at you.

If a couple
can't trust each other,

what is there to a marriage?

You're right, dear,
I shouldn't have been jealous...

but why were you hugging
that man?

Oh, Wilbur.

People--
they sure can get a horse into a lot of trouble.

[whistling]

Well]÷, wise guy.

I just had a talk
with Bernadine's owner.

You know what he says?

Yeah?

She was a scrawny,
unhappy animal when he got her.

Now she's happy and healthy,
and do you know why?

Yeah?

Because she loves to work.

[muffled]
She loves to work?

That's right.

Only proves
some horses are dumb animals.

í<
♪ A horse is a horse, of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.