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00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:14,374
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00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:07,593
Once upon a time...
3
00:01:07,631 --> 00:01:09,963
about three months ago
on a Tuesday...
4
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,433
this thing happened...
5
00:01:11,469 --> 00:01:13,903
in a peaceful, tucked-away
part of the Bronx...
6
00:01:13,938 --> 00:01:15,565
called City lsland...
7
00:01:15,606 --> 00:01:17,540
a place that's many things.
8
00:01:17,575 --> 00:01:19,475
To the sailor, it's sailing.
9
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,068
To the fisherman, it's fishing.
10
00:01:21,112 --> 00:01:24,081
To the soul searcher,
it's soul searching.
11
00:01:24,115 --> 00:01:27,573
That's me! Mona Barcavella,
psychic herbalist.
12
00:01:27,618 --> 00:01:32,419
l'm doing my dance to conjure up
a good summer tourist trade...
13
00:01:32,456 --> 00:01:36,085
but because City lsland
is home to ltalian Americans...
14
00:01:36,127 --> 00:01:39,119
to them, it's eating.
15
00:01:39,163 --> 00:01:42,929
Here food is king,
and no place was more beloved...
16
00:01:42,967 --> 00:01:45,367
than the Prince Rosario
House of Cappamezza...
17
00:01:45,403 --> 00:01:48,600
Gourmet Catering
and Original Wedding Designs...
18
00:01:48,639 --> 00:01:51,608
ruled by
Sadie and Mike Cappamezza...
19
00:01:51,642 --> 00:01:53,269
More hot pepper!
20
00:01:53,310 --> 00:01:56,438
...whose Sicilian cooking
was known for hot colors...
21
00:01:56,480 --> 00:02:01,110
spicy sauces,
and jumbo portions.
22
00:02:01,152 --> 00:02:04,121
Then one day,
there opened across the bay...
23
00:02:04,155 --> 00:02:07,124
the Royal House of Malacici
of Florence...
24
00:02:07,158 --> 00:02:10,616
Continental Caterers
and Wedding Couturiers...
25
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:13,562
owned by real blue bloods
from ltaly...
26
00:02:13,597 --> 00:02:16,065
Count and Contessa Malacici...
27
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:21,060
and they brought City lslanders
their Northern ltalian cuisine:
28
00:02:21,105 --> 00:02:23,573
dainty, low-fat portions...
29
00:02:23,607 --> 00:02:27,600
pastel colors, subtle flavors.
30
00:02:29,914 --> 00:02:31,074
lt was inevitable...
31
00:02:31,115 --> 00:02:35,074
between the two families
there would be bad blood.
32
00:02:35,119 --> 00:02:39,078
Shakespeare once said,
''Hey! What's in a name?''
33
00:02:39,123 --> 00:02:41,091
But he was wrong...
34
00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:43,593
because Cappamezza
means ''half a head''...
35
00:02:43,627 --> 00:02:47,859
and Malacici means ''bad beans.''
36
00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:51,129
The story
begins Fourth of July...
37
00:02:51,168 --> 00:02:53,363
when our local church
was about to put on...
38
00:02:53,404 --> 00:02:55,497
its annual amateur benefit...
39
00:02:55,539 --> 00:02:59,373
What if her eyes were there,
they in her head?
40
00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:02,641
The brightness of her cheek
would shame those stars.
41
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,944
O, that l were
a glove upon that hand...
42
00:03:04,982 --> 00:03:07,382
that l might touch that cheek.
43
00:03:07,418 --> 00:03:09,443
Which brings us
to our heroine...
44
00:03:09,487 --> 00:03:11,955
my best customer,
Sadie Cappamezza...
45
00:03:11,989 --> 00:03:13,354
Ah, me.
46
00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,381
You give me so much more
than lsabel Fasuli.
47
00:03:15,426 --> 00:03:17,553
She weighs
50 pounds more than me.
48
00:03:17,595 --> 00:03:19,392
How can l believe that's Juliet?
49
00:03:19,430 --> 00:03:22,365
You got to make believe
you love her, too.
50
00:03:22,399 --> 00:03:27,063
And the joy of her life,
Rosario Cappamezza...
51
00:03:27,104 --> 00:03:30,073
the prince of the Prince Rosario
House of Cappamezza...
52
00:03:30,107 --> 00:03:32,905
Gourmet Catering
and Original Wedding Designs.
53
00:03:32,943 --> 00:03:34,240
Rudy, give me a break!
54
00:03:34,278 --> 00:03:37,076
-l'm giving you 2/3 off!
-lt's still not enough.
55
00:03:37,114 --> 00:03:38,376
Give it to her for cost.
56
00:03:38,415 --> 00:03:40,212
Mary, the food
is for the church benefit.
57
00:03:40,251 --> 00:03:42,344
l want a better price
than cost.
58
00:03:42,386 --> 00:03:44,081
Better than cost?
We should take a loss?
59
00:03:44,121 --> 00:03:48,319
When you give to God,
you get a huge tax deduction.
60
00:03:48,359 --> 00:03:49,883
All right, half cost.
61
00:03:49,927 --> 00:03:51,724
You're only halfway to heaven.
62
00:03:51,762 --> 00:03:54,390
Go to hell!
63
00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,592
All right,
you get it for nothing.
64
00:03:56,634 --> 00:03:58,499
Here's $10 for the church.
65
00:03:59,803 --> 00:04:01,270
Good morning, Dr. Rondino.
66
00:04:01,305 --> 00:04:02,772
Good morning, Mrs. Rondino.
67
00:04:02,806 --> 00:04:05,274
-Good morning.
-l break both arms.
68
00:04:05,309 --> 00:04:07,607
My son, the dottore,
he fix them.
69
00:04:07,645 --> 00:04:10,113
l never saw anyone
so accidental-prone...
70
00:04:10,147 --> 00:04:12,081
like Mrs. Rondino.
71
00:04:12,116 --> 00:04:14,550
Her son is the most eligible
doctor in the neighborhood...
72
00:04:14,585 --> 00:04:16,712
but her broken bones
keeps him home.
73
00:04:16,754 --> 00:04:19,416
Even Mother Teresa would call
a mother like that...
74
00:04:19,456 --> 00:04:21,048
a bossy scuccamend.
75
00:04:21,091 --> 00:04:24,060
Mrs. Rondino is not as dumb
as she looks.
76
00:04:24,094 --> 00:04:26,892
Married sons, they turn on
their mothers now because...
77
00:04:26,931 --> 00:04:29,422
daughter-in-laws, nothing
is sacred to them anymore.
78
00:04:29,466 --> 00:04:33,061
My son Johnny
married this mamarel Louise.
79
00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,263
Sweet girl.
80
00:04:34,305 --> 00:04:36,000
Sweet?
l said to her one day...
81
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,203
''Would you mind carrying
my groceries, please?''
82
00:04:39,243 --> 00:04:40,574
You know what she said to me?
83
00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:43,375
''Carry your own
friggin' bags, bitch.''
84
00:04:43,414 --> 00:04:45,109
Oh, my God.
85
00:04:45,149 --> 00:04:46,810
l look over at my son Johnny...
86
00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:49,318
and he's looking at her
like this.
87
00:04:49,353 --> 00:04:52,083
My Rosario, he would
never ever treat me like that...
88
00:04:52,122 --> 00:04:54,647
when he's old enough
to get married.
89
00:05:00,531 --> 00:05:04,627
Taking anybody to
the charity ball after the show?
90
00:05:04,668 --> 00:05:06,636
l'm helping Pop with the pasta.
91
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:09,969
How about l call
Angela Mercandante for you?
92
00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:11,599
Ma, don't start with me.
93
00:05:11,642 --> 00:05:13,701
What about l mention you
to Cathy Augustino's mother?
94
00:05:13,744 --> 00:05:15,302
-Ma!
-Watch out!
95
00:05:15,346 --> 00:05:17,314
ldiot! You cut me off!
96
00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:20,511
We'll put you out of business,
you Sicilian swamp guinea!
97
00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:23,247
l got the right of way!
You'll put your sister's ass...
98
00:05:23,287 --> 00:05:25,152
out of business,
you Florentine mountain wop!
99
00:05:25,189 --> 00:05:26,520
Rosario!
100
00:05:29,093 --> 00:05:31,061
l'm sorry l cursed, Ma...
101
00:05:31,095 --> 00:05:33,495
but if these Malacicis
think they're so good...
102
00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:35,930
how come
they didn't stay in ltaly?
103
00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:38,059
Rosario,
forget about the Malacicis.
104
00:05:38,102 --> 00:05:41,071
You just think about
playing Romeo tonight...
105
00:05:41,105 --> 00:05:43,573
that you're going to be
even better this year...
106
00:05:43,607 --> 00:05:47,600
than you was last year
as Pinocchio.
107
00:05:55,886 --> 00:05:57,114
Mona!
108
00:05:58,288 --> 00:05:59,778
Hi!
109
00:06:02,826 --> 00:06:06,057
This Malacici crisis
is making me crazy.
110
00:06:06,096 --> 00:06:08,462
We're in debt up to here
from expanding...
111
00:06:08,499 --> 00:06:09,761
and we may lose
the Fredericos...
112
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,597
the biggest wedding
of the season...
113
00:06:11,635 --> 00:06:13,034
to these intruders!
114
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:15,038
l brought sfogliatelle.
115
00:06:15,072 --> 00:06:16,562
My favorite!
116
00:06:18,242 --> 00:06:20,210
l don't know if
my business can handle...
117
00:06:20,244 --> 00:06:22,474
this kind of competition,
you know?
118
00:06:22,513 --> 00:06:25,311
l haven't lost one pound
on my new diet.
119
00:06:25,349 --> 00:06:28,546
And my husband hasn't
made love to me in weeks.
120
00:06:28,585 --> 00:06:31,053
What am l going to do, Mona?
121
00:06:31,088 --> 00:06:32,715
ls there another woman?
122
00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:36,556
Blessed Roscoe says...
123
00:06:36,593 --> 00:06:40,051
he sees your business
prospering.
124
00:06:40,097 --> 00:06:43,066
The Blessed Roscoe says...
125
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:45,568
keep looking at the sunny side.
126
00:06:45,602 --> 00:06:47,729
Good. Good.
127
00:06:47,771 --> 00:06:49,830
Who's the Blessed Roscoe?
128
00:06:49,873 --> 00:06:52,239
My new guide.
129
00:06:52,276 --> 00:06:54,335
What happened to the Angel Vito?
130
00:06:54,378 --> 00:06:57,074
His work was done
on City lsland.
131
00:06:57,114 --> 00:07:00,049
He moved on to another psychic
named Shirley Ballucas...
132
00:07:00,084 --> 00:07:02,109
in Bayonne, New Jersey.
133
00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:08,080
But the Blessed Roscoe
is a powerful presence!
134
00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:10,093
ln the 17th Century...
135
00:07:10,127 --> 00:07:14,029
when his eyes were gouged
and his fingers chopped off...
136
00:07:14,064 --> 00:07:17,033
and he was burnt at the stake...
137
00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:22,027
he smiled and said,
''Don't feel guilty.''
138
00:07:22,072 --> 00:07:25,564
That's why he's known
as the Merry Martyr.
139
00:07:25,609 --> 00:07:28,100
You tell him
l'm really pleased to meet him.
140
00:07:28,145 --> 00:07:31,046
The Blessed Roscoe
knows you are.
141
00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:35,541
Here. Wear this rose oil
when you're meeting customers.
142
00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:38,316
The money will come floating in.
143
00:07:38,355 --> 00:07:40,448
About your diet...
144
00:07:40,491 --> 00:07:43,051
maybe you're having trouble
because you're afraid...
145
00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:48,463
like l am, that every man
wants me sexually.
146
00:07:48,499 --> 00:07:50,592
About your husband...
147
00:07:50,634 --> 00:07:51,794
Yeah?
148
00:07:51,835 --> 00:07:53,564
The Blessed Roscoe says...
149
00:07:53,604 --> 00:07:56,072
there's no other woman
in his life.
150
00:07:56,106 --> 00:07:58,074
Who's Fidella?
151
00:07:58,108 --> 00:08:01,600
That's our cat.
He plays with her a lot.
152
00:08:01,645 --> 00:08:04,079
That will taper off.
153
00:08:04,114 --> 00:08:06,082
Here.
154
00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:08,482
Burn these in your bedroom...
155
00:08:08,519 --> 00:08:11,852
and he'll want lust from you.
156
00:08:11,889 --> 00:08:15,325
The Blessed Roscoe says
it will be heartfelt but quick.
157
00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:17,827
Look, it's a start.
158
00:08:17,861 --> 00:08:20,557
About Rosario...
159
00:08:22,232 --> 00:08:24,530
l'm smelling
a little problem...
160
00:08:24,568 --> 00:08:26,502
but a deep one.
161
00:08:26,537 --> 00:08:28,664
-Oh, no.
-Yes.
162
00:08:28,705 --> 00:08:31,037
l'm smelling him
falling in love with a girl...
163
00:08:31,074 --> 00:08:35,238
he's saying poetry to.
That's her.
164
00:08:37,214 --> 00:08:38,511
He's playing Romeo tonight...
165
00:08:38,549 --> 00:08:40,847
but it couldn't be
with this Juliet.
166
00:08:40,884 --> 00:08:42,408
Smell for yourself.
167
00:08:44,087 --> 00:08:47,545
l'm smelling him
loving so passionately...
168
00:08:47,591 --> 00:08:49,855
nothing stands in his way.
169
00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:53,056
This girl playing Juliet--
lsabel Fasuli--
170
00:08:53,096 --> 00:08:55,564
she's a scuccamend!
171
00:08:55,599 --> 00:08:57,567
And we're catering her wedding.
172
00:08:57,601 --> 00:09:00,161
She's marrying
Vinny Baldilamente.
173
00:09:00,204 --> 00:09:01,694
Blessed Roscoe?
174
00:09:03,106 --> 00:09:05,768
Blessed Roscoe agrees.
175
00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:10,769
l never thought
l'd lose him this soon.
176
00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:15,217
Oh, boy.
177
00:09:16,386 --> 00:09:18,411
Oh, boy.
178
00:09:20,557 --> 00:09:22,650
The meats
don't go in the sauce yet!
179
00:09:22,693 --> 00:09:24,024
That's stupid!
180
00:09:24,061 --> 00:09:25,722
Any dummy will tell you
they're ready for the sauce!
181
00:09:25,762 --> 00:09:27,491
l catch you messing
with my sauce again...
182
00:09:27,531 --> 00:09:29,192
behind my back l'll kick you
out of the kitchen!
183
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:31,326
You'll kick your sauce
out of the kitchen!
184
00:09:31,368 --> 00:09:34,064
What's going on here?
185
00:09:34,104 --> 00:09:36,231
Look at my meat.
ls it ready for the sauce yet?
186
00:09:36,273 --> 00:09:38,537
No. You got to get out
more fat.
187
00:09:38,575 --> 00:09:40,566
You're crazy! As crazy as him.
188
00:09:40,611 --> 00:09:42,738
Ma, put your tooth back in.
189
00:09:42,779 --> 00:09:44,576
l can't remember where l put it.
190
00:09:44,615 --> 00:09:45,946
And don't call us crazy no more.
191
00:09:45,983 --> 00:09:48,747
l always call you crazy.
lt never bothered you before.
192
00:09:48,785 --> 00:09:50,685
lt always bothered me.
193
00:09:50,721 --> 00:09:53,212
-lt bothers you, too?
-Of course!
194
00:09:53,257 --> 00:09:55,225
You should have told me sooner.
195
00:09:55,259 --> 00:09:57,420
l'm too old to change now.
196
00:09:57,461 --> 00:09:59,258
Mikey...
197
00:09:59,296 --> 00:10:01,696
l got to talk to you private.
198
00:10:01,732 --> 00:10:03,700
Can we go up to the house?
199
00:10:03,734 --> 00:10:05,258
Sure.
200
00:10:06,436 --> 00:10:08,404
Rocco, stay with the sauce.
201
00:10:08,438 --> 00:10:10,065
She tries anything funny...
202
00:10:10,107 --> 00:10:13,099
throw yourself
in front of the pot.
203
00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,580
Will you promise me that if
l tell you this problem...
204
00:10:18,615 --> 00:10:21,083
you won't make fun of me?
205
00:10:21,118 --> 00:10:22,312
l promise.
206
00:10:22,352 --> 00:10:24,582
You know that l'm psychic.
207
00:10:24,621 --> 00:10:26,088
Yeah?
208
00:10:26,123 --> 00:10:28,353
And so is my friend Mona.
209
00:10:28,392 --> 00:10:30,417
Mona the nut?
210
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:32,587
Mona is not a nut.
211
00:10:32,629 --> 00:10:35,598
She's a clairvoyant
for a living...
212
00:10:35,632 --> 00:10:40,262
and the Blessed Roscoe
told Mona...
213
00:10:40,304 --> 00:10:43,273
that Rosario is going
to fall in love...
214
00:10:43,307 --> 00:10:46,242
and give up everything
for his Juliet.
215
00:10:46,276 --> 00:10:50,679
Every week, Mona's got
a different saint or angel...
216
00:10:50,714 --> 00:10:53,114
that nobody ever heard of
who speaks only to her.
217
00:10:53,150 --> 00:10:55,618
How can you believe this stuff?
218
00:10:55,652 --> 00:10:59,110
Because Mona helps me find
the invisible forces here.
219
00:10:59,156 --> 00:11:03,115
lt helps me discover
what l'm doing here on earth.
220
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,129
l discussed it in my prayers
with the Holy Mother...
221
00:11:06,163 --> 00:11:08,131
and she said
it was OK with her.
222
00:11:08,165 --> 00:11:10,133
You want me to ask her again?
223
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:12,567
-Dear Holy Mother--
-No, no, no.
224
00:11:12,602 --> 00:11:15,571
Don't bother the Holy Mother
with something like this.
225
00:11:15,605 --> 00:11:19,063
Look, l'm a little tired.
l want to take a nap.
226
00:11:19,109 --> 00:11:20,337
You want to take a nap with me?
227
00:11:20,377 --> 00:11:23,574
-Nap?
-Yeah.
228
00:11:23,613 --> 00:11:27,709
-Yeah.
-OK. l'll be right back.
229
00:12:35,452 --> 00:12:39,718
l got Fidella in the middle
so you can hold her, too.
230
00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:51,591
As is a winged messenger
of Heaven...
231
00:12:51,635 --> 00:12:54,604
into the white-upturned
wandering eyes...
232
00:12:54,638 --> 00:12:57,835
the lazy-pacing clouds
and sails...
233
00:12:57,874 --> 00:12:59,398
upon the bosom of the air...
234
00:12:59,443 --> 00:13:02,173
of mortals that fall back
to gaze on him...
235
00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:05,613
when he bestrides
the lazy, puffing clouds.
236
00:13:05,649 --> 00:13:09,608
O Romeo! Romeo!
237
00:13:09,653 --> 00:13:11,780
Whereforth art thou, Romeo?
238
00:13:11,822 --> 00:13:14,052
Deny thy father!
239
00:13:14,091 --> 00:13:16,616
And refuse thy na...
240
00:13:27,671 --> 00:13:30,765
l hope l didn't do that
with my negative thoughts.
241
00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:32,741
Are you all right, lsabel?
242
00:13:32,776 --> 00:13:35,404
l can't move my leg!
243
00:13:36,913 --> 00:13:38,244
Rosario, go get Dr. Rondino.
244
00:13:38,281 --> 00:13:40,249
Tell him to come right over.
245
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:42,251
How did this happen,
Miss DeLuca?
246
00:13:42,285 --> 00:13:44,276
l seen the whole episode,
Monsignor.
247
00:13:44,321 --> 00:13:45,948
She overacted with her foot...
248
00:13:45,989 --> 00:13:48,958
and tumbled down like
a wounded rhino. Forsooth.
249
00:13:48,992 --> 00:13:51,586
Don't call me no rhino,
zits breath.
250
00:13:51,628 --> 00:13:54,597
How am l supposed
to get married tomorrow?
251
00:13:54,631 --> 00:13:57,099
l hate this stupid play!
252
00:13:57,134 --> 00:14:00,103
l told you the balcony
was made of plywood.
253
00:14:00,137 --> 00:14:02,605
Why did you stamp your foot?
254
00:14:02,639 --> 00:14:06,598
l should have harnessed her
to the wall, Dr. Rondino.
255
00:14:06,643 --> 00:14:09,111
Oh, no. lt wouldn't
have helped, Miss DeLuca.
256
00:14:09,146 --> 00:14:11,410
lt's not broken.
257
00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:13,040
You just stay off it
for 24 hours...
258
00:14:13,083 --> 00:14:15,950
and you'll be marching
down the aisle.
259
00:14:15,986 --> 00:14:18,113
All right, boys,
help her out to my car.
260
00:14:18,155 --> 00:14:21,056
We've got to get you home
and get that leg iced.
261
00:14:21,091 --> 00:14:24,390
-What a buffalo!
-Shut up, you shithead!
262
00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:25,587
Twenty-four hours!
263
00:14:25,629 --> 00:14:28,427
We'll have the understudy
play Juliet.
264
00:14:28,465 --> 00:14:29,830
Understudy?
265
00:14:29,866 --> 00:14:33,302
Where is Niccolina Sousto?
266
00:14:33,336 --> 00:14:37,170
Niccolina, where are you going?
267
00:14:37,207 --> 00:14:39,573
l don't know the whole part.
268
00:14:39,609 --> 00:14:42,339
l'll whisper the words
to you off the stage.
269
00:14:42,379 --> 00:14:44,779
Please, Father,
don't make me do this.
270
00:14:44,814 --> 00:14:48,375
Niccolina, you only have
to do your best.
271
00:14:53,790 --> 00:15:00,093
OK, Niccolina, we'll find
somebody else to play the part.
272
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:03,531
l know the part, Miss DeLuca.
l always wanted to play it.
273
00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:07,094
No, Francis!
You're too good as the nurse...
274
00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:09,264
and it would be too hard
to replace you.
275
00:15:09,306 --> 00:15:10,864
lsn't that right, Monsignor?
276
00:15:10,907 --> 00:15:14,536
What else can we do, Sadie?
We're sold out.
277
00:15:14,578 --> 00:15:16,603
We'll have to give refunds.
278
00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:19,046
Why don't we call
all the dramatic schools...
279
00:15:19,082 --> 00:15:21,550
and we'll find
some really nice girl...
280
00:15:21,585 --> 00:15:23,951
who can read the part
from the script?
281
00:15:23,987 --> 00:15:26,182
This is a very good idea, Sadie.
282
00:15:26,223 --> 00:15:30,523
But let's make sure that
all the girls send over...
283
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:33,586
their most recent photographs
with their hobbies...
284
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:37,031
their future ambitions,
and their religious attitudes.
285
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,058
Why do l have to be here?
286
00:15:39,102 --> 00:15:42,230
This may be the girl we spend
the rest of our lives with.
287
00:15:42,272 --> 00:15:44,069
You can stop calling.
288
00:15:44,107 --> 00:15:48,168
This couple just came in
and made a donation...
289
00:15:48,211 --> 00:15:53,080
and then they told me
their daughter played that part.
290
00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:56,916
She'll play Juliet
to your son's Romeo.
291
00:15:56,953 --> 00:15:58,648
You look familiar.
292
00:15:58,688 --> 00:15:59,848
ls possible.
293
00:15:59,889 --> 00:16:02,983
Mr. and Mrs. Cappamezza...
294
00:16:03,026 --> 00:16:06,553
meet Count
and Contessa Malacici.
295
00:16:06,596 --> 00:16:08,359
Pleasure.
296
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:15,533
Look, Sadie,
it's just for one night...
297
00:16:15,572 --> 00:16:18,040
so let's not make
a big thing out of it.
298
00:16:18,074 --> 00:16:20,042
OK, Sadie?
299
00:16:20,076 --> 00:16:22,067
Feel better?
300
00:16:22,112 --> 00:16:25,047
A little.
There must be a way...
301
00:16:25,081 --> 00:16:27,379
l can turn around what
Mona said is going to happen.
302
00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:29,385
Look...
303
00:16:29,419 --> 00:16:31,387
you think l want Rosario
to ejaculate himself...
304
00:16:31,421 --> 00:16:33,981
out of this family prematurely?
305
00:16:35,592 --> 00:16:40,222
But did anything Mona ever
tell you would happen happen?
306
00:16:40,263 --> 00:16:42,663
Practically everything.
307
00:16:42,699 --> 00:16:44,098
How come she told you...
308
00:16:44,134 --> 00:16:46,034
that we're going to be rich,
and we're in debt...
309
00:16:46,069 --> 00:16:48,697
that your mother
was going to move out...
310
00:16:48,738 --> 00:16:51,571
and she just asked us
for a new mattress...
311
00:16:51,608 --> 00:16:55,601
that your friend Sally would
have the best year of her life,
312
00:16:55,645 --> 00:16:58,205
and she died? How come?
313
00:16:58,248 --> 00:17:01,445
Oh, ye of little faith.
314
00:17:01,484 --> 00:17:04,578
Once we raise enough money
to franchise our sauces...
315
00:17:04,621 --> 00:17:07,488
and our wedding creations,
we are going to be rich.
316
00:17:07,524 --> 00:17:09,219
And my mother
still may move out...
317
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:11,591
and she'll take
her new mattress with her.
318
00:17:11,628 --> 00:17:13,027
My girlfriend Sally
could be having...
319
00:17:13,063 --> 00:17:17,363
her best year ever
right now in Heaven.
320
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,528
Ma! Pop! l just heard
about the Malacici girl.
321
00:17:20,570 --> 00:17:23,038
Pop, could you imagine them
asking me to play Romeo...
322
00:17:23,073 --> 00:17:26,440
opposite the daughter
of that Florentine?
323
00:17:26,476 --> 00:17:29,445
Every bone in my body tells me
l should quit right now...
324
00:17:29,479 --> 00:17:30,912
and forget about it.
325
00:17:30,947 --> 00:17:33,643
Honey, if you feel like that--
326
00:17:33,683 --> 00:17:36,243
But the show must go on.
Miss DeLuca wants me...
327
00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:39,050
to go introduce myself
before rehearsal.
328
00:17:39,089 --> 00:17:41,751
-l'm going with you!
-What for?
329
00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:44,419
lt will give me a chance
to see their operation.
330
00:17:44,461 --> 00:17:47,919
But l got to go home and change
into something more apropos.
331
00:17:56,473 --> 00:17:59,101
God Almighty!
Get a load of this place!
332
00:17:59,142 --> 00:18:01,804
These people wouldn't know
a sausage if they fell over one.
333
00:18:04,581 --> 00:18:06,071
Makes me sick to go in there.
334
00:18:06,116 --> 00:18:08,914
-Maybe--
-Are you all right, Ma?
335
00:18:08,952 --> 00:18:10,749
Do l have a bump?
336
00:18:10,787 --> 00:18:12,254
Here. Let me see.
337
00:18:12,288 --> 00:18:14,119
lt's all right, Ma.
338
00:18:14,157 --> 00:18:16,455
This Romeo is a mama's boy.
339
00:18:16,493 --> 00:18:18,859
What masculine boy
kisses a mother...
340
00:18:18,895 --> 00:18:21,363
on the eye
after three years old?
341
00:18:27,237 --> 00:18:29,501
Hi. l'm Rosario Cappamezza.
342
00:18:29,539 --> 00:18:30,699
This is my--
343
00:18:30,740 --> 00:18:32,867
Yes. We have met at the church.
344
00:18:35,078 --> 00:18:38,536
l thought l would chaperone
the children to rehearsal...
345
00:18:38,581 --> 00:18:43,814
because l wanted to be
socially au courant...
346
00:18:43,853 --> 00:18:47,880
and because l'm the mother.
347
00:18:47,924 --> 00:18:50,552
Please come in.
348
00:18:55,532 --> 00:18:57,261
Beautiful.
349
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:03,068
Gina just returned
from her boarding school...
350
00:19:03,106 --> 00:19:05,574
and she's taking
her beauty bath.
351
00:19:05,608 --> 00:19:07,599
Please to sit down, eh?
352
00:19:45,582 --> 00:19:48,415
May we offer you
some refreshment?
353
00:19:48,451 --> 00:19:52,046
We have profiterole,
tiramisu, banana torte...
354
00:19:52,088 --> 00:19:55,546
eight kinds of gelati,
and six kinds of sorbetto.
355
00:19:55,592 --> 00:19:57,082
All fresh...
356
00:19:57,126 --> 00:20:00,562
homemade, home-grown,
and hand-decorated.
357
00:20:00,597 --> 00:20:04,055
No, thank you.
We make all the same desserts...
358
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:07,433
plus zuppa lnglese,
zabaione, coppa di marrone.
359
00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:10,769
Don't tell me
you make your own chocolate.
360
00:20:10,807 --> 00:20:15,744
Milk, bittersweet, nougat,
and white with nuts.
361
00:20:15,778 --> 00:20:19,578
From a recipe
that is 400 years old?
362
00:20:19,616 --> 00:20:21,914
From a recipe
that Frank Sinatra himself...
363
00:20:21,951 --> 00:20:25,580
said was the best
he ever tasted on City lsland.
364
00:20:25,622 --> 00:20:27,089
The president of ltaly...
365
00:20:27,123 --> 00:20:31,116
once ate two portions of
our risotto con funghi.
366
00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:36,091
During the pope's visit
in 1982...
367
00:20:36,132 --> 00:20:38,600
the Holy Father
had three portions...
368
00:20:38,635 --> 00:20:41,536
of our clams posillipo, to go.
369
00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:43,596
ln four centuries
of operation...
370
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,608
our restaurant
in Firenze was visited...
371
00:20:45,642 --> 00:20:49,100
by two nuns who later
were canonized--
372
00:20:49,145 --> 00:20:50,612
Santa Teresa DeMontania...
373
00:20:50,647 --> 00:20:52,615
and Santa Rudolpha Legatti...
374
00:20:52,649 --> 00:20:57,848
for whom our bronzino in
brodetto di Rudolpha was named.
375
00:21:00,657 --> 00:21:03,319
Our dishwasher speaks Chinese.
376
00:21:51,140 --> 00:21:53,904
This is our daughter Regina.
377
00:21:53,943 --> 00:21:56,138
Hi.
378
00:21:56,179 --> 00:21:59,114
This is my mother
Sadie Cappamezza...
379
00:21:59,148 --> 00:22:01,616
and l'm R-r-r...
380
00:22:01,651 --> 00:22:04,586
Rosario Cappamezza.
381
00:22:04,621 --> 00:22:06,782
How do you do?
382
00:22:06,823 --> 00:22:09,951
Gina has consented
to play the part of Juliet...
383
00:22:09,993 --> 00:22:12,223
even though
she must leave tomorrow.
384
00:22:12,261 --> 00:22:13,751
Where are you going?
385
00:22:13,796 --> 00:22:15,058
Paris.
386
00:22:15,098 --> 00:22:16,690
For the summer...
387
00:22:16,733 --> 00:22:19,099
to study with the Ballet Russe.
388
00:22:19,135 --> 00:22:20,432
Paris, France?
389
00:22:20,470 --> 00:22:23,701
There's so much more to do there
than there is here.
390
00:22:23,740 --> 00:22:25,071
You can climb
the Eiffel Tower...
391
00:22:25,108 --> 00:22:27,076
and you can go to the cancan.
392
00:22:27,110 --> 00:22:29,271
We should go.
We're going to be late.
393
00:22:29,312 --> 00:22:31,109
lt was nice meeting you.
394
00:22:39,122 --> 00:22:41,920
l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
395
00:22:41,958 --> 00:22:44,085
Don't you yell at my son!
396
00:22:44,127 --> 00:22:47,096
He bumps himself a lot
when he's happy...
397
00:22:47,130 --> 00:22:52,261
and he's very happy
that he has a thin Juliet.
398
00:22:59,642 --> 00:23:02,133
You have a very nice bathroom.
399
00:23:07,350 --> 00:23:09,648
Can l drop you anywhere, Ma?
400
00:23:11,654 --> 00:23:13,053
Drop me?
401
00:23:13,089 --> 00:23:16,547
Yeah. When Miss DeLuca
first works with an actor...
402
00:23:16,592 --> 00:23:19,561
she doesn't like
to have any eyewitnesses.
403
00:23:19,595 --> 00:23:22,587
l mean, amateur nonactors.
404
00:23:26,102 --> 00:23:29,071
So, Ma, can l drop you or what?
405
00:23:29,105 --> 00:23:32,074
No, no, no.
lt's not far. l'll walk.
406
00:23:32,108 --> 00:23:33,598
OK.
407
00:23:44,287 --> 00:23:46,346
You dress funny.
408
00:23:49,459 --> 00:23:51,256
l like it.
409
00:24:00,002 --> 00:24:03,096
l'm smelling her.
410
00:24:03,139 --> 00:24:05,801
l'm smelling her.
411
00:24:05,842 --> 00:24:09,300
ls this new Juliet
the one that my Rosario...
412
00:24:09,345 --> 00:24:11,108
is going to give up
his life for?
413
00:24:11,147 --> 00:24:16,312
Big bosom, strong thighs,
small culo?
414
00:24:16,352 --> 00:24:19,082
-Yeah.
-That's her.
415
00:24:20,923 --> 00:24:23,653
The Blessed Roscoe corroborates.
416
00:24:23,693 --> 00:24:26,924
At least she's leaving tomorrow.
417
00:24:26,963 --> 00:24:30,626
Maybe no damage can be done
between now and then. Right?
418
00:24:32,702 --> 00:24:35,193
What does the Blessed Roscoe
say l should do?
419
00:24:35,238 --> 00:24:37,069
Nothing.
420
00:24:37,106 --> 00:24:42,271
Love...is all there is.
421
00:24:42,311 --> 00:24:44,836
Love is all there is?
422
00:24:46,449 --> 00:24:48,440
How did the candles work?
423
00:24:48,484 --> 00:24:51,078
My husband told me
to hold the cat, too.
424
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:54,954
l made a mistake.
425
00:24:54,991 --> 00:24:58,085
Those candles are for
young honeymooners in trouble.
426
00:24:58,127 --> 00:25:02,587
You need something for older
eroticism that's capsizing.
427
00:25:02,632 --> 00:25:06,295
Here. When these burn down
to the genital area...
428
00:25:06,335 --> 00:25:08,769
he'll be sure to grab you,
not the cat.
429
00:25:08,805 --> 00:25:10,102
Thanks.
430
00:25:10,139 --> 00:25:15,042
That's $9 for the candles,
$30 for the reading--
431
00:25:15,077 --> 00:25:19,036
Look, about Rosario,
l just can't do nothing?
432
00:25:19,081 --> 00:25:22,073
He's too young to ruin his life.
433
00:25:23,586 --> 00:25:25,076
Hold the phone.
434
00:25:36,766 --> 00:25:39,064
Take these two birds.
435
00:25:39,101 --> 00:25:42,559
The one with the yellow ring
is the male.
436
00:25:42,605 --> 00:25:45,130
He represents your son.
437
00:25:45,174 --> 00:25:48,075
Keep sprinkling oregano
on his tail--
438
00:25:48,110 --> 00:25:51,568
the desire
for higher education.
439
00:25:51,614 --> 00:25:55,072
The other one is the female.
440
00:25:55,117 --> 00:25:59,076
Squint your eyes.
You see her aura?
441
00:25:59,121 --> 00:26:00,918
Right now it's white...
442
00:26:00,957 --> 00:26:03,585
because the Blessed Roscoe
is present.
443
00:26:03,626 --> 00:26:06,595
This is an aura duster.
444
00:26:06,629 --> 00:26:12,397
Keep dusting her aura to keep
her love for Rosario pure.
445
00:26:13,536 --> 00:26:15,527
Don't let it turn orange...
446
00:26:15,571 --> 00:26:18,540
or you're in the danger,
lower-crotch area.
447
00:26:18,574 --> 00:26:23,534
Here. Keep reciting this chant
to the two birds.
448
00:26:23,579 --> 00:26:26,548
''He is love deep.
449
00:26:26,582 --> 00:26:30,040
''He is sacrifice all.
450
00:26:30,086 --> 00:26:33,544
''He is education's first.
451
00:26:33,589 --> 00:26:36,683
''He is in it
for the long haul.''
452
00:26:36,726 --> 00:26:40,560
OK. That's $3.00
for the oregano...
453
00:26:40,596 --> 00:26:42,564
$24.50 for the aura duster...
454
00:26:42,598 --> 00:26:44,566
$42.50 for the birds...
455
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,034
a buck and a half for the chant.
456
00:26:47,069 --> 00:26:50,561
He is love deep.
457
00:26:50,606 --> 00:26:53,575
He is sacrifice all.
458
00:26:53,609 --> 00:26:56,373
But his education's first.
459
00:26:56,445 --> 00:26:59,073
All right, as soon as
she's in the costume...
460
00:26:59,115 --> 00:27:01,083
we're going
to start the rehearsal.
461
00:27:01,117 --> 00:27:03,210
-Yes, Miss DeLuca.
-We know.
462
00:27:03,252 --> 00:27:08,155
l hear...
that the new Juliet's dress...
463
00:27:08,190 --> 00:27:10,750
had to be opened up
this much on top.
464
00:27:10,793 --> 00:27:12,852
That's how big her titties are.
465
00:27:12,895 --> 00:27:14,863
l wish l had that problem.
466
00:27:14,897 --> 00:27:17,422
Every night, l pray
that mine will grow bigger.
467
00:27:17,466 --> 00:27:20,026
My mother says it ain't
the size that counts.
468
00:27:20,069 --> 00:27:22,003
lt's the quality.
469
00:27:22,038 --> 00:27:25,007
That's because your mother
got small titties.
470
00:27:25,041 --> 00:27:27,339
l hope she's built better
than lsabel.
471
00:27:27,376 --> 00:27:30,004
With her belly, the audience
wouldn't even have seen me.
472
00:27:30,046 --> 00:27:31,206
l hear she's from ltaly...
473
00:27:31,247 --> 00:27:33,613
so she don't talk English
too good like us.
474
00:27:33,649 --> 00:27:35,708
Where do you think
Romeo and Juliet lived?
475
00:27:35,751 --> 00:27:38,720
ln England. Ain't that
where Shakespeare lives?
476
00:27:38,754 --> 00:27:40,847
Shakespeare's dead, you dope.
477
00:27:40,890 --> 00:27:43,552
How do l know?
l don't watch PMS.
478
00:27:43,592 --> 00:27:45,560
l got ham and provolone.
479
00:27:45,594 --> 00:27:49,553
-Ciabatta and anchovies.
-l got eggs.
480
00:27:49,598 --> 00:27:51,964
Ronny, your pizza's here!
481
00:27:52,001 --> 00:27:54,094
Where's the pepperoni?
482
00:28:02,178 --> 00:28:03,475
Snack time is over!
483
00:28:03,512 --> 00:28:05,571
All right, come on.
Let's get to work.
484
00:28:06,949 --> 00:28:10,578
All right. Gina,
you have just met Rosario...
485
00:28:10,619 --> 00:28:15,022
so l want to assure you that
the kisses will be discreet.
486
00:28:15,057 --> 00:28:17,025
All right.
With your bodies apart...
487
00:28:17,059 --> 00:28:21,018
you're going to let
your lips brush lightly...
488
00:28:21,063 --> 00:28:24,521
like a butterfly's wings
on a rose petal.
489
00:28:24,567 --> 00:28:28,526
You got to leave the passion
to the audience's imagination.
490
00:28:28,571 --> 00:28:30,539
All right? Go ahead.
491
00:28:30,573 --> 00:28:33,542
Wait! Keep this much space
between your torsos.
492
00:28:33,576 --> 00:28:40,004
Let your lips just touch
for one brief instant.
493
00:28:40,049 --> 00:28:41,209
Perfect!
494
00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:42,717
OK, everybody, come on!
495
00:28:42,752 --> 00:28:45,243
Places from
the top of the show!
496
00:28:47,089 --> 00:28:50,081
My granddaughter Rita's
playing the part of Prologue.
497
00:28:50,126 --> 00:28:53,755
Mikey, if you could have seen
the way he drooled...
498
00:28:53,796 --> 00:28:55,058
when he looked at her.
499
00:28:55,097 --> 00:28:56,724
Boys his age
are supposed to drool.
500
00:28:56,766 --> 00:28:59,064
But Mona says he's going
to give up everything--
501
00:28:59,101 --> 00:29:00,568
She really sees you coming.
502
00:29:00,603 --> 00:29:02,901
Now we got two frigging birds
who can't stop crapping...
503
00:29:02,938 --> 00:29:04,235
stinking up our house.
504
00:29:04,273 --> 00:29:05,570
What are you two talking about?
505
00:29:05,608 --> 00:29:08,577
-Nothing.
-l saw your lips moving.
506
00:29:08,611 --> 00:29:10,579
Where's your tooth?
507
00:29:10,613 --> 00:29:13,013
l forgot.
508
00:29:13,049 --> 00:29:15,210
There they are.
509
00:29:15,251 --> 00:29:17,515
Look at them with their
Florentine noses in the air.
510
00:29:17,553 --> 00:29:19,578
lt looks like
they're smelling something.
511
00:29:19,622 --> 00:29:22,489
They're looking this way.
512
00:29:22,525 --> 00:29:25,824
l am sure
that Regina having to act...
513
00:29:25,861 --> 00:29:28,887
with the son of these Sicilians
make her as sick as l am.
514
00:29:28,931 --> 00:29:31,331
We have no choice...
515
00:29:31,367 --> 00:29:34,894
because we have to win over
their low-class clientele.
516
00:29:40,409 --> 00:29:42,036
Good morrow.
517
00:29:42,078 --> 00:29:44,046
ls the day so young?
518
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,911
But new struck nine.
519
00:29:50,586 --> 00:29:53,054
Ay me, sad hours long.
520
00:29:53,089 --> 00:29:56,217
Was that my father
that went hence so fast?
521
00:29:56,258 --> 00:29:58,419
lt was.
522
00:29:58,461 --> 00:30:01,055
He is so handsome...
523
00:30:01,097 --> 00:30:03,565
just like Errol Flynn
in the old movies.
524
00:30:03,599 --> 00:30:06,159
He fences good.
You'd never know he was clumsy.
525
00:30:06,202 --> 00:30:07,931
Oh, shit!
526
00:30:07,970 --> 00:30:09,232
'Tis not to me she speaks.
527
00:30:09,271 --> 00:30:12,297
Why do they make him wear
them blue pantyhose?
528
00:30:12,341 --> 00:30:14,400
lt makes
his dingle look too big.
529
00:30:14,443 --> 00:30:15,603
Shh, Ma.
530
00:30:15,644 --> 00:30:19,080
God forbid!
Where is this girl?
531
00:30:19,115 --> 00:30:23,074
Juliet! Juliet!
532
00:30:23,119 --> 00:30:24,586
How now, who calls?
533
00:30:24,620 --> 00:30:26,087
Your mother.
534
00:30:26,122 --> 00:30:29,819
Madam, l am here.
What is your will?
535
00:30:29,859 --> 00:30:32,089
How eloquent she is.
536
00:30:32,128 --> 00:30:34,824
Yes, but is a mismatch...
537
00:30:34,864 --> 00:30:37,765
because she make
the Sicilian mama's boy...
538
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,291
look like a buffoon
from the circus.
539
00:31:16,939 --> 00:31:19,567
Saints do not move...
540
00:31:19,608 --> 00:31:22,577
though grant
for my prayers' sake.
541
00:31:22,611 --> 00:31:25,671
Then move not,
while my prayer's effect l take.
542
00:31:28,617 --> 00:31:30,744
Oh, boy.
543
00:31:39,628 --> 00:31:41,596
Thy drugs are quick.
544
00:31:41,630 --> 00:31:46,124
Thus with a kiss l die.
545
00:31:54,543 --> 00:31:57,944
They're doing it for real.
546
00:31:57,980 --> 00:31:59,948
Rosario!
547
00:31:59,982 --> 00:32:03,110
Rosario! No more.
548
00:32:03,152 --> 00:32:04,779
Stop!
549
00:32:07,656 --> 00:32:12,525
My God.
l never saw this before.
550
00:32:14,463 --> 00:32:16,226
How dare he do that
to my little girl!
551
00:32:16,265 --> 00:32:18,062
He pretend to be mama's boy.
552
00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:20,193
Oldest Sicilian trick
in the back of the book.
553
00:32:20,236 --> 00:32:23,103
Why she don't stop him? Why?
554
00:32:23,138 --> 00:32:26,073
Because she has to act
as if she's dead...
555
00:32:26,108 --> 00:32:27,803
and he's taken advantage.
556
00:32:27,843 --> 00:32:29,572
Mona knew.
557
00:32:29,612 --> 00:32:31,580
The Blessed Roscoe knew.
558
00:32:31,614 --> 00:32:33,582
That's what masculine acting is.
559
00:32:33,616 --> 00:32:36,016
You kiss the girl
like you go for her.
560
00:32:36,051 --> 00:32:37,712
Her aura is changing.
561
00:32:37,753 --> 00:32:39,687
-What?
-Nothing.
562
00:32:39,722 --> 00:32:41,314
Rosario!
563
00:32:46,195 --> 00:32:49,187
She is kissing him
with her mouth open.
564
00:32:50,432 --> 00:32:51,865
Stop!
565
00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:53,765
l don't care
if l lose the business.
566
00:32:53,802 --> 00:32:55,599
l don't raise my daughter
for this.
567
00:32:55,638 --> 00:32:57,606
l am going to pull the curtain.
568
00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,437
Let me go!
You don't understand.
569
00:32:59,475 --> 00:33:01,102
Get out of the way!
570
00:33:01,143 --> 00:33:02,701
...violate my daughter.
Let me out of here!
571
00:33:07,016 --> 00:33:08,847
Piero, come back!
They've stopped kissing!
572
00:33:08,884 --> 00:33:11,751
Come back. Come on.
573
00:33:11,787 --> 00:33:13,550
Please, let me go.
574
00:33:13,589 --> 00:33:16,581
You got some nerve, fatso.
575
00:33:17,693 --> 00:33:21,094
l...die.
576
00:33:22,865 --> 00:33:25,390
l hate those pantyhose.
577
00:33:25,434 --> 00:33:28,631
His dingle
looks even bigger now.
578
00:33:30,539 --> 00:33:34,066
Dear God! ls he stiff?
579
00:33:34,109 --> 00:33:36,077
l think he's stiff from her.
580
00:33:36,111 --> 00:33:38,409
That's just a towel in there...
581
00:33:38,447 --> 00:33:40,574
so they don't hurt it
when they duel.
582
00:33:40,616 --> 00:33:44,211
lt's a towel. l'm so relieved.
583
00:33:44,253 --> 00:33:47,586
-Let me see!
-Get out of my way!
584
00:33:47,623 --> 00:33:49,284
Stop looking.
585
00:33:52,227 --> 00:33:54,991
Sicilian son of a bitch!
586
00:33:55,030 --> 00:33:56,964
This is so embarrassing.
587
00:33:56,999 --> 00:33:59,058
lt's growing.
588
00:34:05,574 --> 00:34:07,735
l will kiss thy lips.
589
00:34:07,776 --> 00:34:11,109
Haply some poison
yet doth hang on them...
590
00:34:11,146 --> 00:34:13,546
to make me die
with a restorative.
591
00:34:13,582 --> 00:34:17,678
My poor baby has to kiss
the Sicilian animal now!
592
00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:20,587
l hope she bite off his lips and
spit them into his face!
593
00:34:28,263 --> 00:34:29,855
Oh, my God.
594
00:34:29,898 --> 00:34:31,889
This must be method acting.
595
00:34:31,934 --> 00:34:35,392
Gina...a butterfly's wings.
596
00:34:35,437 --> 00:34:37,371
A butterfly's wings.
597
00:34:39,308 --> 00:34:41,242
Her aura, it's turning orange.
598
00:34:41,276 --> 00:34:43,301
Go for it, Gina!
599
00:34:43,345 --> 00:34:46,075
He is love deep.
600
00:34:46,115 --> 00:34:48,583
He is sacrifice all.
601
00:34:48,617 --> 00:34:51,085
lf she were my daughter,
l'd break her head.
602
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,612
They must've used two towels.
603
00:34:55,791 --> 00:34:58,954
-Here he goes again!
-Sit down, fatso!
604
00:34:58,994 --> 00:35:00,757
You want a rap in the mouth?
605
00:35:00,796 --> 00:35:02,093
Yeah? Step in the toilet!
606
00:35:02,131 --> 00:35:04,429
-You be quiet!
-Piero, come back!
607
00:35:04,466 --> 00:35:07,458
The kiss is finished.
You'll ruin her death scene.
608
00:35:07,503 --> 00:35:11,599
O happy dagger...
609
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:15,201
this is my sheath.
610
00:35:15,244 --> 00:35:19,203
There rest...
611
00:35:19,248 --> 00:35:21,580
and let me die!
612
00:35:27,856 --> 00:35:30,051
Move! You have to move.
613
00:35:30,092 --> 00:35:31,559
That's so rude!
614
00:35:31,593 --> 00:35:33,060
The scene is over.
615
00:35:33,095 --> 00:35:35,563
l want to go as soon
as the curtain comes down.
616
00:35:35,597 --> 00:35:39,055
-Get out of my way!
-A real banana.
617
00:35:39,101 --> 00:35:40,693
l will challenge you to a duel!
618
00:35:40,736 --> 00:35:43,569
Get him to the banquet hall
the minute this show is over.
619
00:35:43,605 --> 00:35:45,903
Right. Ma, wait in the car.
620
00:35:45,941 --> 00:35:47,408
We want to extricate him
unbeknownst.
621
00:35:47,443 --> 00:35:49,934
l knew it.
He was stiff from her!
622
00:35:51,113 --> 00:35:52,671
Come on.
623
00:35:53,949 --> 00:35:55,576
Some shall be pardoned.
624
00:35:55,617 --> 00:35:57,949
Others shall be punished.
625
00:35:57,986 --> 00:36:02,582
For never was
a story of more woe...
626
00:36:02,624 --> 00:36:07,459
than this
of Juliet and her Romeo.
627
00:36:12,935 --> 00:36:15,529
Come on, Rosario.
You got to come with us.
628
00:36:15,571 --> 00:36:18,540
Get out of here! Jesus, Ma!
629
00:36:18,574 --> 00:36:20,041
Sadie, come on!
630
00:36:20,075 --> 00:36:21,940
Ma, get off the stage!
631
00:36:24,413 --> 00:36:26,540
l was so disgusted
over how you kissed that boy.
632
00:36:26,582 --> 00:36:28,049
lt was pornografia!
633
00:36:28,083 --> 00:36:31,541
All right. Tonight we go home,
sleep the night good.
634
00:36:31,587 --> 00:36:34,055
Tomorrow you are in Paris,
we forget about everything.
635
00:36:34,089 --> 00:36:36,057
No, Papa. The banquet!
636
00:36:36,091 --> 00:36:37,388
The whole cast is going!
637
00:36:37,426 --> 00:36:40,554
l will not set foot in
that Cappamezza catering hall!
638
00:36:40,596 --> 00:36:42,063
And neither should you!
639
00:36:42,097 --> 00:36:44,065
And that is final!
640
00:36:44,099 --> 00:36:46,067
Magnificent performance, Gina.
641
00:36:46,101 --> 00:36:48,069
See you at the banquet?
642
00:36:48,103 --> 00:36:50,071
No, Monsignore,
she cannot come...
643
00:36:50,105 --> 00:36:52,573
because tomorrow she get
up early, go to airport.
644
00:36:52,608 --> 00:36:57,568
l understand, but l want to
thank her and you two publicly.
645
00:36:57,613 --> 00:37:00,582
You just come for that?
646
00:37:00,616 --> 00:37:02,607
We--
647
00:37:46,528 --> 00:37:48,291
l didn't fall asleep once...
648
00:37:48,330 --> 00:37:51,231
except during the parts
where people were just talking.
649
00:37:51,266 --> 00:37:53,826
But in the swordplay...
650
00:37:53,869 --> 00:37:56,064
and the smooching--terrific.
651
00:37:56,104 --> 00:37:57,901
What about my Francis?
652
00:37:57,940 --> 00:38:00,067
He was great.
l believed he was her nurse...
653
00:38:00,108 --> 00:38:02,167
and he was very manly
in the girl's clothes.
654
00:38:02,210 --> 00:38:04,235
You're ready for Broadway!
655
00:38:04,279 --> 00:38:07,578
And, Tony, you was great
as Rosario's uncle.
656
00:38:07,616 --> 00:38:10,517
l wasn't his uncle.
l was his cousin.
657
00:38:10,552 --> 00:38:11,849
Well, whoever you were...
658
00:38:11,887 --> 00:38:14,253
you all made the evening
very bearable.
659
00:38:23,065 --> 00:38:25,932
Papa, l'd like
to say hello to the cast.
660
00:38:25,968 --> 00:38:29,028
You say hello to the girls.
Only to the girls, eh?
661
00:38:29,071 --> 00:38:31,164
Hello and good-bye.
662
00:38:39,815 --> 00:38:43,911
Next year,
we're doing Ju//us and Caesar.
663
00:38:43,952 --> 00:38:45,715
l'm playing Mrs. Caesar.
664
00:38:45,754 --> 00:38:48,222
You ever see the smoke
in this way?
665
00:38:48,256 --> 00:38:50,486
-So ridiculous, eh?
-lt's obscene.
666
00:38:50,525 --> 00:38:53,255
What they are trying to do,
re-create forest fire?
667
00:38:54,262 --> 00:38:56,059
Look at them.
668
00:38:56,098 --> 00:38:59,226
They are green with envy
from our decor.
669
00:38:59,267 --> 00:39:01,360
When they taste our food,
they're going to wish...
670
00:39:01,403 --> 00:39:04,566
they were in
another business altogether.
671
00:39:04,606 --> 00:39:06,574
l don't see the daughter.
672
00:39:06,608 --> 00:39:09,600
She's over there with the girls.
673
00:39:09,645 --> 00:39:12,842
You two were so sexy up there.
674
00:39:12,881 --> 00:39:14,280
l thought l was watching...
675
00:39:14,316 --> 00:39:16,011
Mel Gibson
and Michelle Pfeiffer.
676
00:39:16,051 --> 00:39:18,178
Where did you learn
to kiss like that...
677
00:39:18,220 --> 00:39:19,482
boarding school?
678
00:39:19,521 --> 00:39:22,012
l asked my parents to send me.
679
00:39:22,057 --> 00:39:23,524
They were afraid
l'd lose my cherry.
680
00:39:23,558 --> 00:39:24,855
They don't know this...
681
00:39:24,893 --> 00:39:28,522
but l lost it to a Guido
when l was 14.
682
00:39:28,563 --> 00:39:30,690
l been to the Capri Motel.
683
00:39:30,732 --> 00:39:33,223
What is a Capri Motel?
684
00:39:33,268 --> 00:39:36,931
The horniest place
on City lsland.
685
00:39:36,972 --> 00:39:39,532
lt's got waterbeds shaped like
the back seat of a car...
686
00:39:39,574 --> 00:39:42,839
and porno movies in every room.
687
00:39:42,878 --> 00:39:44,869
l lost mine there, too.
688
00:39:44,913 --> 00:39:47,040
l ain't been a virgin
almost a month.
689
00:39:47,082 --> 00:39:50,574
And we know who Mr. Lucky is.
690
00:40:00,562 --> 00:40:01,722
What?
691
00:40:01,763 --> 00:40:04,061
We're all victims
of peer pressure.
692
00:40:04,099 --> 00:40:05,293
What about you?
693
00:40:05,333 --> 00:40:08,234
My parents are very strict.
694
00:40:13,942 --> 00:40:15,603
Wait here.
695
00:40:17,446 --> 00:40:22,577
l'd like to call up
Mike and Sadie Cappamezza...
696
00:40:22,617 --> 00:40:27,111
and Count and Contessa Malacici.
697
00:40:30,625 --> 00:40:33,924
Which just shows...
698
00:40:33,962 --> 00:40:35,759
You want to dance, Rosario?
699
00:40:35,797 --> 00:40:37,264
Hey!
700
00:40:37,299 --> 00:40:41,463
...can turn business rivals
into good friends.
701
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:48,139
One and two and three.
702
00:40:49,811 --> 00:40:51,278
What is that?
703
00:40:51,313 --> 00:40:53,042
What is this? How goes it?
704
00:40:57,652 --> 00:40:59,085
Bring Regina.
705
00:40:59,121 --> 00:41:01,180
Hello, Mr. Frederico, Mrs. F.
706
00:41:01,223 --> 00:41:04,750
Piero...wait. Look.
707
00:41:07,195 --> 00:41:08,958
The Fredericos.
708
00:41:08,997 --> 00:41:11,261
We must not go
without to talk to them.
709
00:41:11,299 --> 00:41:13,563
We must cater
their daughter's wedding.
710
00:41:17,005 --> 00:41:18,267
How are you?
711
00:41:18,306 --> 00:41:19,898
Your daughter Carmella...
712
00:41:19,941 --> 00:41:23,069
recite the line of
Lady Capulet with such artistry.
713
00:41:23,111 --> 00:41:26,569
And she reeks of intelligence.
714
00:41:26,615 --> 00:41:29,584
And that is why she deserve
the grand wedding...
715
00:41:29,618 --> 00:41:31,085
we have prepared for her.
716
00:41:31,119 --> 00:41:33,383
Every guest will have...
717
00:41:33,421 --> 00:41:35,446
roast goose
or bistecca Chateaubriand.
718
00:41:35,490 --> 00:41:37,082
And vanilla tartufi.
719
00:41:37,125 --> 00:41:39,593
And amaretto creme brulee
with the wedding cake.
720
00:41:39,628 --> 00:41:41,687
What about the smoke?
721
00:41:41,730 --> 00:41:43,755
Oh, yes.
Every man smoke big cigar.
722
00:41:43,799 --> 00:41:46,097
No, no, no.
We like the smoke effect.
723
00:41:46,134 --> 00:41:49,900
Smoke effect.
724
00:41:49,938 --> 00:41:53,601
We love smoke effect...
725
00:41:53,642 --> 00:41:56,110
but our smoke will be finer...
726
00:41:56,144 --> 00:41:59,602
not only to the ankle,
but all the way to the calf.
727
00:41:59,648 --> 00:42:02,742
Yes, and softer,
like in a Fellini movie.
728
00:42:02,784 --> 00:42:05,651
The sneaks are trying
to steal the Fredericos!
729
00:42:06,888 --> 00:42:09,618
What do you say, Ralph?
How are you doing, Angie?
730
00:42:09,658 --> 00:42:12,889
Hi. How are youse?
731
00:42:12,928 --> 00:42:16,091
They're not looking. Now!
732
00:42:26,241 --> 00:42:28,175
For Carmella's wedding,
as souvenirs...
733
00:42:28,210 --> 00:42:31,407
we take a picture of you two
from your wedding...
734
00:42:31,446 --> 00:42:34,210
and we print it on
the front of each coffee cup.
735
00:42:34,249 --> 00:42:35,910
And engraved on the inside...
736
00:42:35,951 --> 00:42:39,682
a pink rose entwined with
a silver ribbon, that says...
737
00:42:39,721 --> 00:42:43,589
''Carmella loves Tony
and vice versa...
738
00:42:43,625 --> 00:42:47,425
''Compliments,
Angie and Ralph Frederico.''
739
00:42:47,462 --> 00:42:50,693
l've never seen that
before at a wedding.
740
00:42:50,732 --> 00:42:54,691
l am sure they do it
in Coney lsland.
741
00:42:54,736 --> 00:42:58,228
They make a good-looking couple
even off the stage.
742
00:42:58,273 --> 00:43:01,606
-Who?
-Your daughter and your son.
743
00:43:03,245 --> 00:43:05,611
Now l know why the Malacicis...
744
00:43:05,647 --> 00:43:09,105
and the Cappamezzas
get along so well.
745
00:43:09,150 --> 00:43:10,947
They're making a match.
746
00:43:10,986 --> 00:43:13,546
No! She's only 16!
747
00:43:13,588 --> 00:43:15,215
He just got
his driver's license.
748
00:43:15,257 --> 00:43:16,952
They have only
the Shakespeare in common.
749
00:43:16,992 --> 00:43:19,552
She's rushing off for culture
to Paris for the ballet...
750
00:43:19,594 --> 00:43:23,360
and he's pursuing his intellect
taking Geometry ll this summer.
751
00:43:23,398 --> 00:43:25,195
He's practically
a juvenile delinquent.
752
00:43:25,233 --> 00:43:30,068
The other Romeo
did not come close to you.
753
00:43:30,105 --> 00:43:33,563
Did you kiss him
like you kissed me?
754
00:43:33,608 --> 00:43:36,600
l never kiss anyone
like l kiss you.
755
00:43:44,619 --> 00:43:49,079
l take it
they don't like me for you.
756
00:43:49,124 --> 00:43:51,592
They don't like anyone for me...
757
00:43:51,626 --> 00:43:53,617
but you in particular.
758
00:43:53,662 --> 00:43:56,096
Why? Because the folks
are rivals?
759
00:43:56,131 --> 00:44:01,592
No. Because you are
dangerous and sexy.
760
00:44:01,636 --> 00:44:04,002
Easy, easy.
761
00:44:04,039 --> 00:44:06,837
Sadie will design
candy-covered almonds...
762
00:44:06,875 --> 00:44:09,673
wrapped in lace
with a bow...
763
00:44:09,711 --> 00:44:14,512
a plastic bird, a feather,
and a simulated zircon ring.
764
00:44:14,549 --> 00:44:16,574
The Malacicis say they can do...
765
00:44:16,618 --> 00:44:19,280
a soft Fellini smoke
up to the knees.
766
00:44:19,321 --> 00:44:23,052
We can do bright ''Terminator 2''
smoke up to the chin!
767
00:44:23,091 --> 00:44:24,558
Watch this!
768
00:44:24,592 --> 00:44:27,584
With a double Technicolor
Walt Disney rainbow.
769
00:44:38,673 --> 00:44:40,504
Oh, my.
770
00:44:41,776 --> 00:44:45,075
Turn it down!
lt's way too high, Mikey!
771
00:44:45,113 --> 00:44:46,580
l can't. lt's stuck!
772
00:44:46,614 --> 00:44:50,072
-Do something!
-l got to get a wrench.
773
00:44:52,053 --> 00:44:53,577
Where are they?
774
00:44:53,621 --> 00:44:56,419
Where are the children?
775
00:44:56,458 --> 00:44:59,586
The children. Oh, boy.
776
00:44:59,627 --> 00:45:01,094
Did l do this?
777
00:45:01,129 --> 00:45:03,097
Did l make the rainbow
too romantic?
778
00:45:03,131 --> 00:45:05,099
You both do!
You make a camouflage!
779
00:45:05,133 --> 00:45:06,430
lt's your fault!
780
00:45:06,468 --> 00:45:08,595
Stealing the Fredericos,
forcing us to show off!
781
00:45:08,636 --> 00:45:13,369
Wait a minute!
Where are the Fredericos?
782
00:45:16,478 --> 00:45:21,074
This is exactly what l want,
only more purple.
783
00:45:29,090 --> 00:45:31,991
ls this where
all the boys take the girls?
784
00:45:32,027 --> 00:45:34,962
Yeah.
785
00:45:34,996 --> 00:45:38,056
Have you ever
taken anyone else here?
786
00:45:38,099 --> 00:45:39,862
Yeah.
787
00:45:41,936 --> 00:45:44,097
My mother,
when we needed to talk...
788
00:45:44,139 --> 00:45:45,800
and once my grandma.
789
00:45:48,977 --> 00:45:51,741
You don't have a girlfriend?
790
00:45:51,780 --> 00:45:53,145
No.
791
00:45:55,150 --> 00:45:57,015
How come?
792
00:45:59,654 --> 00:46:04,284
After saying all those
Shakespearean lines to you...
793
00:46:04,325 --> 00:46:08,261
it's kind of hard to come up
with the right words, but...
794
00:46:09,664 --> 00:46:14,567
l've been
waiting for the moon...
795
00:46:14,602 --> 00:46:19,062
to send down a goddess
from the heavens.
796
00:46:19,107 --> 00:46:24,044
And then it must have
done it because...
797
00:46:24,079 --> 00:46:26,070
she's come.
798
00:46:49,871 --> 00:46:53,034
l've waited
my whole life for you.
799
00:46:53,074 --> 00:46:56,475
-Oh, no!
-Wait, wait, wait!
800
00:46:56,511 --> 00:46:58,103
Don't be scared.
801
00:46:58,146 --> 00:47:00,137
We'll only do
what you want to do.
802
00:47:06,454 --> 00:47:09,116
Gina! Gina!
803
00:47:09,157 --> 00:47:11,216
Where are you going?
804
00:47:11,259 --> 00:47:13,853
What? What did l do?
805
00:47:13,895 --> 00:47:17,524
l'm crazy in love with you!
806
00:47:17,565 --> 00:47:20,033
l never wanted to be
a ballerina.
807
00:47:20,068 --> 00:47:22,559
Mother and Father
both gave up studying...
808
00:47:22,604 --> 00:47:24,572
for the opera
when they got married...
809
00:47:24,606 --> 00:47:28,804
and l thought that their dream
for me was mine, too.
810
00:47:28,843 --> 00:47:33,780
Mother wants
to keep me away from men...
811
00:47:33,815 --> 00:47:36,079
until l am famous...
812
00:47:36,117 --> 00:47:41,077
and Father wants me
to marry only royalty...
813
00:47:41,122 --> 00:47:43,215
that has not gone broke,
like we did in Firenze.
814
00:47:43,258 --> 00:47:49,128
My parents named the business
''Prince Rosario'' after me.
815
00:47:50,632 --> 00:47:53,430
Your parents were right.
816
00:47:53,468 --> 00:47:55,299
You are a prince.
817
00:48:01,376 --> 00:48:03,776
l'm not going away.
818
00:48:03,811 --> 00:48:07,144
Yeah. You got a right
to think for yourself.
819
00:48:08,650 --> 00:48:10,049
Yes.
820
00:48:12,387 --> 00:48:13,615
Let's go tell them.
821
00:48:13,655 --> 00:48:16,055
Who? You and me?
822
00:48:16,090 --> 00:48:19,548
You won't let them
intimidate me, will you?
823
00:48:19,594 --> 00:48:21,653
Absolutely not.
824
00:48:21,696 --> 00:48:24,062
l'm used to dealing
with crazy people.
825
00:48:24,098 --> 00:48:26,066
My grandmother
is a complete fruitcake.
826
00:48:26,100 --> 00:48:29,092
You let me do the talking
to your parents, OK?
827
00:48:30,471 --> 00:48:32,962
lf we knew where they was,
wouldn't we tell you?
828
00:48:33,007 --> 00:48:34,975
lf your son
dishonor our daughter...
829
00:48:35,009 --> 00:48:36,476
l will hold you responsible!
830
00:48:36,511 --> 00:48:38,706
Our daughter is
an angel of regal bearing...
831
00:48:38,746 --> 00:48:40,737
a treasure,
a princess from a fairy tale...
832
00:48:40,782 --> 00:48:42,340
who walk in purity!
833
00:48:42,383 --> 00:48:44,578
And what's our son--
a big bag of shit?
834
00:48:44,619 --> 00:48:47,588
Mike!
Please don't use the ''s'' word.
835
00:48:47,622 --> 00:48:51,581
Our son is a gentleman,
and he's an altar boy.
836
00:48:51,626 --> 00:48:54,322
He's a lover of all mothers.
837
00:48:54,362 --> 00:48:57,695
l will call the police!
l will call the FBl!
838
00:49:01,903 --> 00:49:03,837
They have
just drive up in the car!
839
00:49:05,473 --> 00:49:09,102
See? Nothing from nothing.
840
00:49:09,143 --> 00:49:11,111
Let's go to bed.
841
00:49:20,388 --> 00:49:23,414
What will you say to him?
842
00:49:23,458 --> 00:49:25,756
l'll tell him,
''Hey, forget about Paris.
843
00:49:25,793 --> 00:49:28,057
''She's with me. Get it?''
844
00:49:28,096 --> 00:49:29,563
How's that?
845
00:49:29,597 --> 00:49:33,328
Let's get out of here!
My father will kill you!
846
00:49:35,069 --> 00:49:40,063
She's just a baby,
pussy wussy pussycat!
847
00:49:40,108 --> 00:49:43,407
She's a little baby calico cat.
848
00:49:43,444 --> 00:49:45,469
She's a little kissable cat.
849
00:49:45,513 --> 00:49:47,743
She's a little--
850
00:49:49,284 --> 00:49:50,945
Hey, Mikey.
851
00:49:52,620 --> 00:49:55,054
Get the hell out of here.
852
00:49:59,127 --> 00:50:02,688
Oh, yes!
Thank you, Blessed Roscoe.
853
00:50:02,730 --> 00:50:04,027
-What's that?
-Nothing.
854
00:50:04,065 --> 00:50:06,363
-Keep doing what you're doing.
-You got it.
855
00:50:08,636 --> 00:50:11,628
Hello. Yes.
856
00:50:14,642 --> 00:50:16,109
The kids, they left.
857
00:50:16,144 --> 00:50:18,112
We got to find out where
they are.
858
00:50:18,146 --> 00:50:20,114
l'm not feeling so good.
859
00:50:20,148 --> 00:50:22,082
l'm a little nauseous.
Get me a cup of mint tea.
860
00:50:22,116 --> 00:50:23,674
Hello.
861
00:50:23,718 --> 00:50:25,618
Mona, could you please
do me a favor...
862
00:50:25,653 --> 00:50:28,622
and ask the Blessed Roscoe
if he knows where the kids are?
863
00:50:28,656 --> 00:50:29,918
Hold on a second.
864
00:50:29,957 --> 00:50:35,361
The Blessed Roscoe sees
their expectation to consummate.
865
00:50:35,396 --> 00:50:38,160
Oh, boy! Does he know where?
866
00:50:38,199 --> 00:50:44,570
He sees water,
a bed, the letter ''C.''
867
00:50:44,605 --> 00:50:46,971
-Uh-huh.
-That's it. l got to go.
868
00:50:47,008 --> 00:50:50,671
Three people have asked me
to try and make rain.
869
00:50:54,682 --> 00:50:57,150
Water, a bed, the letter ''C.''
870
00:50:57,185 --> 00:50:58,812
The letter ''C.''
871
00:50:58,853 --> 00:51:02,152
Mike, we got to get
to the Capri Motel...
872
00:51:02,190 --> 00:51:06,354
before they consummate
in a waterbed!
873
00:51:06,394 --> 00:51:08,658
How do you know they're there?
874
00:51:08,696 --> 00:51:10,687
Because it all adds up.
875
00:51:27,648 --> 00:51:30,981
My parents
are great in a crisis.
876
00:51:33,221 --> 00:51:35,781
Wait right here.
l'll be right back.
877
00:51:35,823 --> 00:51:40,283
Ma! Pop! l need you
for some advice, huh?
878
00:51:40,328 --> 00:51:41,818
Ma!
879
00:51:46,667 --> 00:51:50,626
The only one home is my grandma,
and she's sleeping.
880
00:51:50,671 --> 00:51:53,640
You will not
ever leave me, will you?
881
00:51:53,674 --> 00:51:55,141
No.
882
00:51:55,176 --> 00:51:57,144
No, no. l love you.
883
00:51:57,178 --> 00:52:01,308
From the tip of my heart
to the depth of my soul...
884
00:52:01,349 --> 00:52:04,147
l love you.
885
00:52:04,185 --> 00:52:06,653
l'd like to see your room.
886
00:52:06,687 --> 00:52:08,848
Well, it's real messy.
887
00:52:24,172 --> 00:52:26,572
Be tender with me.
l'm a virgin.
888
00:52:26,607 --> 00:52:28,131
Ditto.
889
00:52:37,485 --> 00:52:39,953
-l don't see his car.
-Good.
890
00:52:39,987 --> 00:52:42,421
We're going to save them
from ruining their lives.
891
00:52:42,457 --> 00:52:44,118
Oh, Romeo!
892
00:52:44,158 --> 00:52:48,117
Romeo, wherefore art thou,
Romeo?
893
00:52:48,162 --> 00:52:51,654
The moon, Juliet.
l'm on the moon!
894
00:53:08,449 --> 00:53:11,145
Oh, my God!
l don't believe it.
895
00:53:11,185 --> 00:53:14,313
-ls it them?
-No.
896
00:53:14,355 --> 00:53:18,291
lt's Dr. Rondino
and Miss DeLuca.
897
00:53:37,678 --> 00:53:39,612
What does this mean?
898
00:53:39,647 --> 00:53:42,207
lt means up, down, up, down.
899
00:53:44,552 --> 00:53:47,282
They ain't coming here.
Let's go home.
900
00:53:47,321 --> 00:53:49,448
Water...
901
00:53:49,490 --> 00:53:52,152
bed, and the letter ''C.''
902
00:54:07,074 --> 00:54:11,135
Water, bed, the letter ''C''!
903
00:54:11,178 --> 00:54:14,079
''C'' for Cappamezza on the water!
904
00:54:14,115 --> 00:54:17,949
Mikey, they're in our house
on our water!
905
00:54:17,985 --> 00:54:20,078
You go look. l can't look.
906
00:54:20,121 --> 00:54:22,419
All right. l'll go look.
907
00:54:22,456 --> 00:54:26,620
l'm going to go look.
l left the candles burning.
908
00:54:28,629 --> 00:54:32,087
Rosario! Rosario!
909
00:54:32,133 --> 00:54:34,226
Who is it?
910
00:54:34,268 --> 00:54:36,532
lt's your mother and dad.
911
00:54:36,571 --> 00:54:40,667
l'm sleeping.
l'll talk to you in the morning.
912
00:54:40,708 --> 00:54:42,005
Get dressed
and get in the closet.
913
00:54:42,043 --> 00:54:43,305
Where's my underpants?
914
00:54:43,344 --> 00:54:45,107
Here. Where's my bra?
915
00:54:45,146 --> 00:54:47,376
Here's your bra,
and here's your panties.
916
00:54:47,415 --> 00:54:50,612
l know you're in there
with the girl.
917
00:54:50,651 --> 00:54:52,778
What makes you think that?
918
00:54:52,820 --> 00:54:58,156
l can sense it
with my mother's intuition.
919
00:55:08,235 --> 00:55:11,136
There. He took her home,
and he was sleeping.
920
00:55:11,172 --> 00:55:13,367
Go back to bed, Rosario.
Come on.
921
00:55:17,612 --> 00:55:21,070
l feel bad l didn't trust him.
922
00:55:21,115 --> 00:55:23,743
l'm going to go back
and apologize.
923
00:55:23,784 --> 00:55:26,252
Rosario, please forgive--
924
00:55:42,103 --> 00:55:44,094
We love each other very deeply.
925
00:55:44,138 --> 00:55:47,107
She's through living a lie
to make her parents happy.
926
00:55:47,141 --> 00:55:50,110
And that is
why we slept together.
927
00:55:50,144 --> 00:55:53,773
You slept together?
928
00:55:53,814 --> 00:55:56,612
You didn't have sex, did you?
929
00:55:56,651 --> 00:55:58,881
No. They were
bobbing for apples.
930
00:55:58,919 --> 00:56:01,649
Oh, not Rosario.
931
00:56:01,689 --> 00:56:04,214
This girl, she's Juliet.
932
00:56:04,258 --> 00:56:07,921
l did this.
l left the candles burning.
933
00:56:07,962 --> 00:56:10,430
l misread the Blessed Roscoe's--
934
00:56:10,464 --> 00:56:11,931
All right. All right.
935
00:56:11,966 --> 00:56:14,434
Look, girlie...
936
00:56:14,468 --> 00:56:17,096
we're adults, my wife and me.
937
00:56:17,138 --> 00:56:21,973
You had a bisensual rendezvous
for two with my son...
938
00:56:22,009 --> 00:56:24,671
and you should wallow in it
tomorrow on the plane.
939
00:56:24,712 --> 00:56:26,703
What my husband
is trying to say is...
940
00:56:26,747 --> 00:56:31,207
just cherish the bliss you had
with Rosario in ballet school...
941
00:56:31,252 --> 00:56:34,813
and then maybe
in six or seven years...
942
00:56:34,855 --> 00:56:37,449
No. l do not
want to go to Paris.
943
00:56:37,491 --> 00:56:39,959
Yeah! And if she goes,
l go, too.
944
00:56:39,994 --> 00:56:42,462
What? You got
to graduate high school...
945
00:56:42,496 --> 00:56:44,964
to go to college,
And what about this summer?
946
00:56:44,999 --> 00:56:48,799
You and me were going
to cure pepperoni together.
947
00:56:48,836 --> 00:56:50,201
Are you trying to tell us...
948
00:56:50,237 --> 00:56:52,967
that you would give up
everything for this girl?
949
00:56:53,007 --> 00:56:55,475
Ma, do you want me
to be happy and live...
950
00:56:55,509 --> 00:56:57,534
or miserable and die?
951
00:56:57,578 --> 00:57:00,046
These are my only choices?
952
00:57:00,081 --> 00:57:02,174
Yeah.
953
00:57:02,216 --> 00:57:05,674
Excuse me a minute, please.
954
00:57:05,753 --> 00:57:08,688
Sadie, l can't talk now.
l got another client here.
955
00:57:08,723 --> 00:57:10,782
This is an emergency!
956
00:57:10,825 --> 00:57:12,793
So is this. Talk quick.
957
00:57:12,827 --> 00:57:16,456
Me and the Blessed Roscoe
have got our hands full.
958
00:57:18,466 --> 00:57:23,904
For seven years...sneaking
around in cheap motels...
959
00:57:23,938 --> 00:57:28,238
in forbidden bliss
on damp mattresses.
960
00:57:28,275 --> 00:57:32,644
Rosario says he doesn't want
to live without this girl.
961
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:37,515
Why me? Why me?
962
00:57:37,551 --> 00:57:39,178
What am l going to do?
963
00:57:39,220 --> 00:57:41,552
The Blessed Roscoe is poking me.
964
00:57:41,589 --> 00:57:43,921
He says we'll marry
when his mother dies.
965
00:57:43,958 --> 00:57:46,756
Could you hold it down
for a second, sweetheart?
966
00:57:46,794 --> 00:57:48,421
l'm trying to commune here.
967
00:57:48,462 --> 00:57:53,399
The woman is 94!
l may die before her.
968
00:57:57,037 --> 00:57:59,904
The Blessed Roscoe says
love is not enough.
969
00:57:59,940 --> 00:58:02,841
l thought he said
love is all there is.
970
00:58:02,877 --> 00:58:05,869
Love is all there is...
971
00:58:05,913 --> 00:58:09,076
but it's also not enough.
972
00:58:09,116 --> 00:58:10,606
What does that mean?
973
00:58:10,651 --> 00:58:13,484
l don't know, Sadie.
Figure it out.
974
00:58:13,521 --> 00:58:16,012
His old mother suffers so.
975
00:58:16,056 --> 00:58:20,891
Do you think you might have
some humane herbs...
976
00:58:20,928 --> 00:58:23,624
to help her to Heaven?
977
00:58:23,664 --> 00:58:28,226
The Blessed Roscoe and me
are healers, not hit men.
978
00:58:28,269 --> 00:58:31,397
Love is all there is.
979
00:58:31,438 --> 00:58:34,566
Love is not enough.
980
00:58:34,608 --> 00:58:38,544
Open this door.
l want to speak to your son.
981
00:58:38,579 --> 00:58:42,413
We demand to know
where our daughter is.
982
00:58:42,449 --> 00:58:44,576
Wait here.
983
00:58:44,618 --> 00:58:46,916
Open this door.
984
00:58:46,954 --> 00:58:48,785
My son ain't here.
985
00:58:48,823 --> 00:58:50,415
The car is in front.
We know he is in there.
986
00:58:50,457 --> 00:58:51,924
Quick, hide her.
987
00:58:51,959 --> 00:58:55,417
No. lt is time they found out
who l really am...
988
00:58:55,462 --> 00:58:58,431
and who made me true to myself.
989
00:58:58,465 --> 00:59:01,400
We will tell them, right,
Rosario?
990
00:59:03,404 --> 00:59:06,373
Alack, there lies more peril
in thine eyes, Juliet...
991
00:59:06,407 --> 00:59:09,433
than 20 of their swords.
992
00:59:09,476 --> 00:59:13,913
Don't be a sucker, Rosario.
Play dumb.
993
00:59:21,021 --> 00:59:25,458
Regina, what are you doing here?
994
00:59:25,492 --> 00:59:27,892
We have something
we want you to know...
995
00:59:27,928 --> 00:59:29,896
something very important.
996
00:59:29,930 --> 00:59:31,420
Tell them.
997
00:59:32,933 --> 00:59:34,560
Who, me?
998
00:59:36,637 --> 00:59:41,768
Please, come in.
Join us in our parlor...
999
00:59:41,809 --> 00:59:44,107
and we'll have
a little t�te-�-t�te talk.
1000
01:00:03,397 --> 01:00:06,366
May l offer you a banana?
1001
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,994
How about a gummy bear?
1002
01:00:09,036 --> 01:00:10,367
We don't want banana,
gummy bear.
1003
01:00:10,404 --> 01:00:15,000
We want to know
the A, B, C, and the D!
1004
01:00:15,042 --> 01:00:18,876
Did you ever see the episode of
''As The World Turns''...
1005
01:00:18,913 --> 01:00:24,374
where Emily tells Barbara
that she and Gavin had...
1006
01:00:24,418 --> 01:00:26,909
a mystical odyssey on the beach?
1007
01:00:26,954 --> 01:00:29,354
Or maybe you read
in the ''National Enquirer''...
1008
01:00:29,390 --> 01:00:31,381
about Cher
and her latest guitarist...
1009
01:00:31,425 --> 01:00:33,518
being caught on a motorcycle.
1010
01:00:35,296 --> 01:00:40,529
Well, Rosario and Gina...
1011
01:00:40,567 --> 01:00:42,159
unthinkingly,
while we were out...
1012
01:00:42,202 --> 01:00:48,698
they were swept away
in our house.
1013
01:00:51,111 --> 01:00:52,669
What?
1014
01:00:54,448 --> 01:00:56,939
What is she talking about?
1015
01:00:58,886 --> 01:01:01,377
They...
1016
01:01:02,890 --> 01:01:06,849
They had coitus that...
1017
01:01:06,894 --> 01:01:09,590
wasn't interruptus.
1018
01:01:09,630 --> 01:01:12,690
And now she don't want
to go to Paris no more...
1019
01:01:12,733 --> 01:01:15,964
or be a ballet dancer
anymore.
1020
01:01:18,906 --> 01:01:20,931
Have you lost your mind?
1021
01:01:20,975 --> 01:01:23,910
You throw away your life
for this?
1022
01:01:23,944 --> 01:01:25,536
You're getting on that plane...
1023
01:01:25,579 --> 01:01:27,547
if l have to drag you
by the hair!
1024
01:01:27,581 --> 01:01:29,208
You're making Gina cry.
1025
01:01:29,249 --> 01:01:31,877
She wants to be with me.
1026
01:01:31,919 --> 01:01:34,217
ls that such a bad thing?
1027
01:01:35,956 --> 01:01:39,892
-l'm going to kill you!
-Papa, l love him!
1028
01:01:39,927 --> 01:01:42,327
Let go of him! Hey!
1029
01:01:42,363 --> 01:01:44,331
Get back in that chair!
1030
01:01:44,365 --> 01:01:45,923
You want to scream and yell
like your wife...
1031
01:01:45,966 --> 01:01:47,433
you got every right...
1032
01:01:47,468 --> 01:01:49,527
but you choke my son again,
l'll throw you in the bay!
1033
01:01:49,570 --> 01:01:51,037
l can take
care of myself, Pop.
1034
01:01:51,071 --> 01:01:54,837
Shut up and sit down
before l choke you myself!
1035
01:01:56,543 --> 01:01:58,841
He ruin her.
He ruin my daughter.
1036
01:01:58,879 --> 01:02:00,278
He ruin everybody.
1037
01:02:02,383 --> 01:02:06,285
He did not ruin anybody!
1038
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:07,548
He made me happy!
1039
01:02:07,588 --> 01:02:09,954
She's my dream come true.
1040
01:02:09,990 --> 01:02:12,322
You shut up.
l get my gun, l shoot you!
1041
01:02:12,359 --> 01:02:14,418
You ain't shooting anybody,
Count Dracula!
1042
01:02:14,461 --> 01:02:16,429
l am Count Dracula?
1043
01:02:16,463 --> 01:02:18,954
This whole family
is Frankenstein!
1044
01:02:18,999 --> 01:02:21,866
Please, let's not turn this
into a tragedy!
1045
01:02:21,902 --> 01:02:25,565
lt's a comedy because
they love each other.
1046
01:02:25,606 --> 01:02:28,404
And, look, l'm laughing.
1047
01:02:31,745 --> 01:02:34,441
Come on. You laugh, too.
1048
01:02:34,481 --> 01:02:36,415
Everybody laugh.
1049
01:02:42,523 --> 01:02:45,390
Don't you ever set foot
in my house again!
1050
01:02:45,426 --> 01:02:47,894
She don't mean you're a putana.
1051
01:02:47,928 --> 01:02:52,558
l do! l do!
And you'll get nothing!
1052
01:02:52,599 --> 01:02:57,662
You'll go from this world
the way you came--with nothing!
1053
01:02:59,039 --> 01:03:01,701
Please. Don't reject her.
1054
01:03:01,742 --> 01:03:03,710
l left the candles burning...
1055
01:03:03,744 --> 01:03:06,144
and now they love each other...
1056
01:03:06,180 --> 01:03:07,738
and love is all there is.
1057
01:03:07,781 --> 01:03:09,373
You shut up!
1058
01:03:09,416 --> 01:03:11,441
l knew this was all your fault!
1059
01:03:11,485 --> 01:03:13,476
Candles! Voodoo!
1060
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:15,351
God is going to punish you!
1061
01:03:15,389 --> 01:03:18,358
lt is not voodoo!
lt's love charms!
1062
01:03:18,392 --> 01:03:20,383
You're a witch! A witch!
1063
01:03:23,630 --> 01:03:25,359
You call me a witch?
1064
01:03:25,399 --> 01:03:27,367
Know what? l have lost
my patience with you!
1065
01:03:27,401 --> 01:03:29,198
Just get out of my house!
1066
01:03:29,236 --> 01:03:32,205
l will never
forgive you for this!
1067
01:03:32,239 --> 01:03:35,037
You'll hate yourself
for giving up the ballet!
1068
01:03:35,075 --> 01:03:38,238
l was only doing it for you.
1069
01:03:38,278 --> 01:03:43,409
l don't want you to give up
your talent for love like us.
1070
01:03:43,450 --> 01:03:47,716
That was your choice.
This is mine.
1071
01:03:49,156 --> 01:03:50,384
What about Rosario?
1072
01:03:50,424 --> 01:03:52,892
He's going to give up
everything for her.
1073
01:03:52,926 --> 01:03:54,416
That's right.
1074
01:03:54,461 --> 01:03:56,395
Everything?
Rosario have nothing.
1075
01:03:56,430 --> 01:03:57,897
He don't have a job.
1076
01:03:57,931 --> 01:04:01,298
He don't even have
a certificate of high school!
1077
01:04:01,335 --> 01:04:04,327
He's giving up his future,
where he has everything--
1078
01:04:04,371 --> 01:04:06,430
his high-school certificate,
fame, wealth!
1079
01:04:06,473 --> 01:04:08,668
Our business
will be his someday!
1080
01:04:08,709 --> 01:04:12,167
Huh? You are broke.
We check in the bank.
1081
01:04:12,212 --> 01:04:15,340
You owe $1 22,000...
1082
01:04:15,382 --> 01:04:18,215
and now everybody in
the whole neighborhood know...
1083
01:04:18,252 --> 01:04:21,119
that you are nothing
but a low-class Joe Blow!
1084
01:04:21,155 --> 01:04:24,352
How dare you call us
a low-class Joe Blow?
1085
01:04:24,391 --> 01:04:27,360
We are just as pretentious
as you will ever be!
1086
01:04:27,394 --> 01:04:29,589
And maybe the whole
neighborhood should know...
1087
01:04:29,630 --> 01:04:31,359
that you tried to sell
your title in ltaly...
1088
01:04:31,398 --> 01:04:33,958
and nobody would buy it!
We looked it up!
1089
01:04:34,001 --> 01:04:36,367
Son of a bitch!
1090
01:04:36,403 --> 01:04:38,735
l will throw you
and your wife in the bay!
1091
01:04:38,772 --> 01:04:40,330
Yeah? Come on! Try it!
1092
01:04:40,374 --> 01:04:43,537
-Don't stoop to their level.
-l want to give him beating.
1093
01:04:43,577 --> 01:04:45,067
They have no breeding!
1094
01:04:45,112 --> 01:04:47,637
-We breed plenty!
-Yeah!
1095
01:04:47,681 --> 01:04:49,649
But he deserves a beating.
1096
01:04:49,683 --> 01:04:53,380
l was champion of boxing
in the University of Bologna.
1097
01:04:53,420 --> 01:04:55,581
l give him a beating
he never forget.
1098
01:04:55,622 --> 01:04:58,352
You want a piece of me?
Come up here!
1099
01:04:58,392 --> 01:05:00,121
Now you've--
1100
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:01,627
Come in the house!
1101
01:05:01,662 --> 01:05:03,254
No! l want him!
1102
01:05:03,297 --> 01:05:05,197
Piero!
1103
01:05:05,232 --> 01:05:07,325
l'm gonna kill him!
Let me at him!
1104
01:05:07,367 --> 01:05:08,834
l'm gonna kill him!
1105
01:05:08,869 --> 01:05:11,303
No, no. Leave them.
1106
01:05:11,338 --> 01:05:13,704
l'll strangle you!
Let me get my hands on you!
1107
01:05:13,740 --> 01:05:15,139
l am exhausted.
1108
01:05:15,175 --> 01:05:16,665
l'm gonna punch him
right in the mouth!
1109
01:05:16,710 --> 01:05:18,678
You are stupid
and you are nothing!
1110
01:05:18,712 --> 01:05:21,146
Let me at him!
You chickenshit peckerhead!
1111
01:05:21,181 --> 01:05:23,240
You make me cup of coffee, no?
1112
01:05:24,251 --> 01:05:26,185
l hate them!
1113
01:05:26,220 --> 01:05:28,347
l wish they were not my parents!
1114
01:05:28,388 --> 01:05:31,357
That's like wishing your foot
wasn't your foot...
1115
01:05:31,391 --> 01:05:33,859
just because
it's got a bad fungus.
1116
01:05:33,894 --> 01:05:36,863
l can never go back to them!
1117
01:05:36,897 --> 01:05:39,365
Maybe they're just
obnoxious temporarily, huh?
1118
01:05:39,399 --> 01:05:43,028
ln the meantime,
you'll be the daughter...
1119
01:05:43,070 --> 01:05:45,698
we always wanted.
1120
01:05:45,739 --> 01:05:47,707
l told you
my parents were great.
1121
01:05:47,741 --> 01:05:51,871
Look, now that she's under
our sexual auspices...
1122
01:05:51,912 --> 01:05:54,881
your behavior has got to be...
1123
01:05:54,915 --> 01:05:58,544
according to
the rules of Queen Victoria.
1124
01:05:58,585 --> 01:06:00,519
You know what l mean?
1125
01:06:00,554 --> 01:06:02,078
Kosher.
1126
01:06:03,924 --> 01:06:06,392
Here's one
of Grandma's bathrobes.
1127
01:06:06,426 --> 01:06:08,894
And you're going to sleep
inside there...
1128
01:06:08,929 --> 01:06:11,090
with Grandma in her bed.
1129
01:06:11,131 --> 01:06:14,123
You see,
sex is a gift from God...
1130
01:06:14,167 --> 01:06:17,659
and you two have chosen
to share that gift...
1131
01:06:17,704 --> 01:06:19,899
but now we're going
to take that gift...
1132
01:06:19,940 --> 01:06:21,908
we're going to put it
back in the box...
1133
01:06:21,942 --> 01:06:23,910
and under the tree, OK?
1134
01:06:23,944 --> 01:06:28,608
Because Mikey and l,
we're responsible now.
1135
01:06:28,649 --> 01:06:31,982
l wish you were my mother,
Mrs. Cappamezza.
1136
01:06:35,956 --> 01:06:37,423
Good night, Gina.
1137
01:06:37,457 --> 01:06:38,924
Good night.
1138
01:06:38,959 --> 01:06:40,927
Good night, dear.
1139
01:06:40,961 --> 01:06:42,428
Good night, Ma.
1140
01:06:42,462 --> 01:06:43,929
Good night.
1141
01:06:43,964 --> 01:06:45,932
Good night, Pop.
1142
01:06:45,966 --> 01:06:48,935
-She's such a sweet girl.
-Yeah.
1143
01:06:48,969 --> 01:06:52,427
l think l handled it
as if love is not enough.
1144
01:06:52,472 --> 01:06:54,440
Let's get back
to what we was doing.
1145
01:06:54,474 --> 01:06:56,942
-What?
-You know...whoopee.
1146
01:06:56,977 --> 01:07:00,208
-We got to stand guard.
-What for?
1147
01:07:00,247 --> 01:07:03,216
We can't take a chance.
They're too overstimulated.
1148
01:07:03,250 --> 01:07:04,649
And what am l?
1149
01:07:14,428 --> 01:07:15,918
Gina.
1150
01:07:17,431 --> 01:07:18,693
Gina!
1151
01:07:18,732 --> 01:07:20,563
Rosario?
1152
01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:23,433
What's the matter?
l heard you crying.
1153
01:07:23,470 --> 01:07:26,371
l never talked back
to my parents before.
1154
01:07:26,406 --> 01:07:28,567
We bring out the best
in each other.
1155
01:07:30,444 --> 01:07:32,412
Will you always love me...
1156
01:07:32,446 --> 01:07:36,212
and choose me
over the other woman?
1157
01:07:36,249 --> 01:07:38,843
-What other woman?
-Your mother.
1158
01:07:38,885 --> 01:07:42,218
l'll never have to choose.
l love you both.
1159
01:07:42,255 --> 01:07:43,779
And she loves you, too.
You heard her.
1160
01:07:43,824 --> 01:07:47,988
Why did she say
we should not sleep together?
1161
01:07:48,028 --> 01:07:50,724
l am not a putana.
1162
01:07:50,764 --> 01:07:53,164
Your mother said that,
not mine!
1163
01:07:53,200 --> 01:07:54,667
You raise your voice to me?
1164
01:07:54,701 --> 01:07:56,066
-l did?
-Yes!
1165
01:07:56,103 --> 01:07:57,365
l'm sorry.
1166
01:07:57,404 --> 01:07:59,634
l'm sorry l insult your mother.
1167
01:07:59,673 --> 01:08:02,437
Our first fight.
1168
01:08:02,476 --> 01:08:04,410
Yes.
1169
01:08:04,444 --> 01:08:07,345
lt makes me hot.
1170
01:08:07,381 --> 01:08:09,178
Me, too.
1171
01:08:22,095 --> 01:08:25,394
l still got the potato gnocchi
and the garbazel to cook.
1172
01:08:25,432 --> 01:08:27,400
The Fasuli-Baldilamente wedding
is a killer.
1173
01:08:27,434 --> 01:08:28,901
Where the hell's Rosario?
1174
01:08:28,935 --> 01:08:31,096
5:00. He ain't up yet.
1175
01:08:31,138 --> 01:08:32,400
He's probably tired...
1176
01:08:32,439 --> 01:08:33,906
from talking to her
through the window all night.
1177
01:08:33,940 --> 01:08:37,068
He's tired?
l got practically no sleep...
1178
01:08:37,110 --> 01:08:38,577
and when l did sleep...
1179
01:08:38,612 --> 01:08:40,512
l dreamed about you
and you know what.
1180
01:08:40,547 --> 01:08:42,378
Mike, come on.
1181
01:08:42,416 --> 01:08:46,284
We were on top
of the small banquet table.
1182
01:08:46,319 --> 01:08:50,415
l had one foot on the ground,
the other foot up in the air...
1183
01:08:50,457 --> 01:08:51,924
and with my other foot...
1184
01:08:51,958 --> 01:08:54,392
Oh, stop!
1185
01:08:54,428 --> 01:08:55,588
Good morning.
1186
01:08:55,629 --> 01:08:56,926
Good evening.
1187
01:08:56,963 --> 01:09:00,421
Go put the clams
in the Fra Diavolo sauce.
1188
01:09:00,467 --> 01:09:02,867
lt's too hard
staying away from Gina...
1189
01:09:02,903 --> 01:09:04,370
and it's stupid.
1190
01:09:04,404 --> 01:09:05,666
We already had sex together.
1191
01:09:05,705 --> 01:09:08,697
Why should she sleep
in Grandma's bed and not mine?
1192
01:09:08,742 --> 01:09:10,607
Because Grandma
can't get her pregnant.
1193
01:09:10,644 --> 01:09:12,771
-You can't keep me from her.
-Rosario.
1194
01:09:12,813 --> 01:09:17,113
Hey! lsabel Fasuli is here
with her mother in a panic.
1195
01:09:17,150 --> 01:09:19,550
l'm caught in the zipper, Sadie!
1196
01:09:19,586 --> 01:09:22,384
Her gown split open at
the church during the ''l Dos.''
1197
01:09:22,422 --> 01:09:26,381
She's been eating chocolates
for two weeks around the clock.
1198
01:09:26,426 --> 01:09:29,088
l'm nervous, Ma, OK?
1199
01:09:29,129 --> 01:09:30,994
Give me that chocolate bar.
Spit it in my hand.
1200
01:09:31,031 --> 01:09:33,397
This is what
we're going to do, Adele.
1201
01:09:33,433 --> 01:09:35,901
l'll take this cabbage rose
from the back...
1202
01:09:35,936 --> 01:09:38,837
and put it in the front...
1203
01:09:38,872 --> 01:09:41,864
then we're going to take
this big cabbage rose...
1204
01:09:41,908 --> 01:09:44,900
and l'm going
to put it in the back.
1205
01:09:44,945 --> 01:09:47,345
And nobody will know
that she gained a few pounds.
1206
01:09:47,380 --> 01:09:49,507
How about twenty in two weeks?
1207
01:09:49,549 --> 01:09:52,109
Some of us gain weight
because we feel...
1208
01:09:52,152 --> 01:09:55,485
that if we have everything,
people will envy us.
1209
01:09:55,522 --> 01:09:57,752
Yeah, Ma. People envy me.
1210
01:09:57,791 --> 01:09:59,383
That's why l eat!
1211
01:10:00,894 --> 01:10:04,853
Go out and stun your guests
and surprise your enemies.
1212
01:10:04,898 --> 01:10:07,731
Wait, Ma.
l got to get my shoes.
1213
01:10:07,767 --> 01:10:09,667
Fidella, look out!
1214
01:10:09,703 --> 01:10:12,501
Watch what you're doing!
You almost killed another cat.
1215
01:10:12,539 --> 01:10:14,370
Don't you dare
eat another thing...
1216
01:10:14,407 --> 01:10:16,375
until you leave
for your honeymoon.
1217
01:10:16,409 --> 01:10:19,378
This is the last fitting
that l am putting Sadie through.
1218
01:10:19,412 --> 01:10:21,880
Mr. and Mrs. Cappamezza,
l want you to know...
1219
01:10:21,915 --> 01:10:25,373
that Rosario just burned
his finger in the kitchen.
1220
01:10:25,418 --> 01:10:30,378
l don't know what
you said to him about me...
1221
01:10:30,423 --> 01:10:34,917
but you hurt him
very, very deeply.
1222
01:10:48,441 --> 01:10:52,241
And now, for the first time
as Mr. and Mrs. Baldilamente...
1223
01:10:52,279 --> 01:10:55,442
please welcome lsabel and Vinny!
1224
01:11:18,605 --> 01:11:21,938
Vinny, that looks beautiful.
1225
01:11:21,975 --> 01:11:24,375
That cake looks
absolutely beautiful.
1226
01:11:24,411 --> 01:11:28,871
Ma, Pop! Everybody, listen up.
l just made a big decision.
1227
01:11:28,915 --> 01:11:30,883
l want the whole world to know.
1228
01:11:30,917 --> 01:11:33,442
Gina, there's something
l should have asked you...
1229
01:11:33,486 --> 01:11:35,044
from the moment
l first saw you.
1230
01:11:35,088 --> 01:11:37,852
-What?
-Will you marry me?
1231
01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:49,098
Now will you be my wife?
1232
01:11:49,135 --> 01:11:51,569
Oh, Rosario, yes, l will.
1233
01:11:51,605 --> 01:11:53,698
Congratulations!
1234
01:11:57,143 --> 01:12:00,306
Get back to work!
Everybody, get back to work!
1235
01:12:00,347 --> 01:12:02,838
-Are you crazy?
-l thought you'd be happy.
1236
01:12:02,882 --> 01:12:04,042
Happy?
1237
01:12:04,084 --> 01:12:05,984
We'd be happier
if you were out of high school.
1238
01:12:06,019 --> 01:12:07,247
You're still babies!
1239
01:12:07,287 --> 01:12:09,755
Telephone, Gina Malacici.
1240
01:12:09,789 --> 01:12:12,519
My body's addicted to her.
l got to get married.
1241
01:12:12,559 --> 01:12:13,856
You get married
when your brain is mature...
1242
01:12:13,893 --> 01:12:15,451
not just your pubic parts!
1243
01:12:15,495 --> 01:12:17,122
-More pigs knuckles.
-Coming up.
1244
01:12:17,163 --> 01:12:19,927
-No, you're too young.
-Ma, please.
1245
01:12:19,966 --> 01:12:21,866
lt's not legal.
1246
01:12:21,901 --> 01:12:23,869
lt is legal
with parents' approval.
1247
01:12:23,903 --> 01:12:25,598
Didn't we just say no?
This is annoying!
1248
01:12:25,639 --> 01:12:28,107
My parents
just gave their approval!
1249
01:12:28,141 --> 01:12:31,440
What? Last night
they hated Rosario's guts...
1250
01:12:31,478 --> 01:12:33,105
and they threw you
out into the snow.
1251
01:12:33,146 --> 01:12:37,082
They miss me,
and they want me to be happy.
1252
01:12:37,117 --> 01:12:38,812
More fried octopus
and zucchini sticks!
1253
01:12:38,852 --> 01:12:42,879
On the fire! lt's very nice
your parents miss you...
1254
01:12:42,922 --> 01:12:47,382
but if they gave their approval,
they got a couple screws loose.
1255
01:12:47,427 --> 01:12:52,364
My parents happen to be
highly cultured aristocrats!
1256
01:12:52,399 --> 01:12:55,857
They would never make
a cake like that!
1257
01:12:55,902 --> 01:13:00,464
This cake happens to be
our deluxe glamorama...
1258
01:13:00,507 --> 01:13:04,375
and nobody but us matches
the little plastic dolls...
1259
01:13:04,411 --> 01:13:05,844
to the live wedding party.
1260
01:13:05,879 --> 01:13:10,339
ln ltalia, these strawberries
with gold roses...
1261
01:13:10,383 --> 01:13:13,716
they would be a laughingstock!
1262
01:13:13,753 --> 01:13:16,847
Well, in these parts,
they're the cat's ass.
1263
01:13:16,890 --> 01:13:19,358
-More scungilli marinara!
-Ready to travel!
1264
01:13:19,392 --> 01:13:22,190
l think you miss your parents...
1265
01:13:22,228 --> 01:13:24,526
and that's why
you're acting so nutsy.
1266
01:13:24,564 --> 01:13:28,591
l am just trying to teach you
what's in bad taste.
1267
01:13:28,635 --> 01:13:30,762
More rice
and pepperoni fritters!
1268
01:13:30,804 --> 01:13:32,362
Coming up!
1269
01:13:32,405 --> 01:13:34,669
lf there's any one person...
1270
01:13:34,708 --> 01:13:35,868
who should be teaching
somebody something...
1271
01:13:35,909 --> 01:13:37,376
it should be me!
1272
01:13:37,410 --> 01:13:41,642
l'll have you know l starred
on ''Wedding Dos and Don'ts''...
1273
01:13:41,681 --> 01:13:44,377
on the local
City lsland cable channel...
1274
01:13:44,417 --> 01:13:46,885
where l pointed out
that bad taste...
1275
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:50,583
was better
than no taste at all.
1276
01:13:50,623 --> 01:13:52,284
Am l right, Rosario?
1277
01:13:52,325 --> 01:13:54,885
Apologize to Gina
for calling her nutsy.
1278
01:13:54,928 --> 01:13:58,523
What? She just insulted
me and your father.
1279
01:13:58,565 --> 01:14:01,125
lt's true. Her parents'
decorations are less gabon.
1280
01:14:01,167 --> 01:14:02,862
Who's a gabon? l'm a gabon?
1281
01:14:02,902 --> 01:14:04,494
More pigs knuckles!
1282
01:14:04,537 --> 01:14:08,200
What the hell are these people
eating with, a shovel?
1283
01:14:08,241 --> 01:14:09,833
Mike, we got a problem.
1284
01:14:09,876 --> 01:14:11,844
l know.
We're out of pigs knuckles.
1285
01:14:11,878 --> 01:14:13,846
How come l hear
that the Malacicis...
1286
01:14:13,880 --> 01:14:15,848
offer my wife's brother
Jackie...
1287
01:14:15,882 --> 01:14:19,443
the exact same deluxe wedding
as lsabel for 50% less?
1288
01:14:19,486 --> 01:14:22,649
They're undercutting.
They lose money at that price.
1289
01:14:22,689 --> 01:14:24,520
The Malacicis
may use our menu...
1290
01:14:24,557 --> 01:14:26,354
but their portions
are so refined...
1291
01:14:26,392 --> 01:14:28,360
for people like you
and your families...
1292
01:14:28,394 --> 01:14:30,021
with large, gourmet frames...
1293
01:14:30,063 --> 01:14:32,463
l want a refund now...
1294
01:14:32,499 --> 01:14:34,660
or l will never do
another affair here!
1295
01:14:34,701 --> 01:14:35,895
And that goes
for all the Fasulis...
1296
01:14:35,935 --> 01:14:37,527
my wife's side,
the Laciannos...
1297
01:14:37,570 --> 01:14:38,867
her mother's side,
the Brunos...
1298
01:14:38,905 --> 01:14:42,397
the Baldimentes,
and the Macrogiovannis!
1299
01:14:42,442 --> 01:14:44,808
We can't.
We're paying off our loan.
1300
01:14:44,844 --> 01:14:46,311
Come help me!
1301
01:14:46,346 --> 01:14:48,871
lsabel threw up
doing the Alley Cat.
1302
01:14:48,915 --> 01:14:53,045
l told her not to stuff herself
with the pork in plum sauce!
1303
01:14:53,086 --> 01:14:55,247
Act casual.
Maybe nobody will notice.
1304
01:14:55,288 --> 01:14:58,382
Nobody will notice she has
vomit on her wedding gown?
1305
01:14:58,424 --> 01:15:01,416
Sadie, do something!
1306
01:15:01,461 --> 01:15:04,794
Here.
Wipe her off with this rag...
1307
01:15:04,831 --> 01:15:07,493
and hang this
car freshener on her.
1308
01:15:07,534 --> 01:15:09,161
lt's the latest thing.
1309
01:15:09,202 --> 01:15:12,330
Rosario, couldn't we talk
about this later, please?
1310
01:15:12,372 --> 01:15:14,840
Don't make him choose
between me and you!
1311
01:15:14,874 --> 01:15:16,842
That's not a very nice
thing to say.
1312
01:15:16,876 --> 01:15:18,343
lf we're old enough to want
to make love all day...
1313
01:15:18,378 --> 01:15:19,845
we're old enough
to get married.
1314
01:15:19,879 --> 01:15:21,744
lt's easy to make love all day
when you're not married.
1315
01:15:21,781 --> 01:15:23,339
lt's much harder
when you have to!
1316
01:15:23,383 --> 01:15:25,851
That's right.
Where are you going?
1317
01:15:25,885 --> 01:15:28,285
Her parents' house.
They want us to be happy!
1318
01:15:28,321 --> 01:15:30,846
You'd go live with
those sneaky sleaze bags?
1319
01:15:30,890 --> 01:15:33,723
How dare you say that
about my parents!
1320
01:15:33,760 --> 01:15:35,853
Keep quiet! l'm talking to him!
1321
01:15:35,895 --> 01:15:38,090
We speak the truth
because we love each other!
1322
01:15:38,131 --> 01:15:40,395
Yeah? Here's truth.
You're jealous of us.
1323
01:15:40,433 --> 01:15:41,764
And here's another truth--
1324
01:15:41,801 --> 01:15:44,895
l don't know if l want to be
in the catering business.
1325
01:15:47,106 --> 01:15:48,437
Hot stuff coming through.
1326
01:15:48,474 --> 01:15:50,874
l can't believe he left.
1327
01:15:50,910 --> 01:15:54,869
l can't believe he doesn't want
to be in the catering business.
1328
01:15:54,914 --> 01:15:58,213
They're ready for
the Polynesian pupu platters!
1329
01:15:58,251 --> 01:16:01,084
Hey, what happened?
1330
01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:04,180
Our heir apparent
just walked out on us.
1331
01:16:04,224 --> 01:16:07,887
What happened to the bird?
One of them keeled over.
1332
01:16:07,927 --> 01:16:09,895
Oh, my God. lt's the female.
1333
01:16:09,929 --> 01:16:11,897
Mary, Mother of God,
please save her.
1334
01:16:11,931 --> 01:16:13,899
Why are you so hysterical?
1335
01:16:13,933 --> 01:16:16,401
Don't you get the symbolism?
1336
01:16:16,436 --> 01:16:18,597
l jinxed the bird.
1337
01:16:18,638 --> 01:16:22,904
lf she dies, l will have
killed her with my thoughts!
1338
01:16:22,942 --> 01:16:24,273
Sadie, thoughts don't kill.
1339
01:16:24,310 --> 01:16:25,902
Please, Mike,
rush her to the vet...
1340
01:16:25,945 --> 01:16:28,914
and don't let her die, please!
1341
01:16:28,948 --> 01:16:32,884
OK, OK, OK.
l'll take her to the vet.
1342
01:16:34,554 --> 01:16:36,419
l can't come to the phone.
1343
01:16:36,456 --> 01:16:38,424
Having an out-of-body
experience.
1344
01:16:38,458 --> 01:16:40,926
Leave your name and number
after the beep...
1345
01:16:40,960 --> 01:16:45,420
and l'll call you back
before Saturn is in retrograde.
1346
01:16:45,465 --> 01:16:46,955
Oh, boy.
1347
01:16:48,501 --> 01:16:49,934
Let me tell you
a couple things...
1348
01:16:49,969 --> 01:16:51,596
about your mother-in-law
that you don't know.
1349
01:16:51,638 --> 01:16:53,435
She auditioned for
the original movie ''Jaws.''
1350
01:16:53,473 --> 01:16:57,239
Know why she didn't get it?
Her mouth was too big.
1351
01:16:59,512 --> 01:17:01,503
She walked over to
her girlfriend and said...
1352
01:17:01,547 --> 01:17:03,913
''l was stuck on the escalator
for 3 1/2 hours.''
1353
01:17:03,950 --> 01:17:06,578
-''Why didn't you walk down?''
-''l was going up.''
1354
01:17:06,619 --> 01:17:10,885
Monsignor, can l talk to you
for a minute?
1355
01:17:10,924 --> 01:17:12,892
Thank you.
1356
01:17:14,527 --> 01:17:18,361
An anonymous underage couple...
1357
01:17:18,398 --> 01:17:21,026
partook of
gratification coitally...
1358
01:17:21,067 --> 01:17:25,026
and l'd like to drop something
on their heads...
1359
01:17:25,071 --> 01:17:26,402
but l don't want
to be interfering...
1360
01:17:26,439 --> 01:17:29,897
and a bird, symbolizing
the female in this couple...
1361
01:17:29,943 --> 01:17:31,934
is at death's door.
1362
01:17:31,978 --> 01:17:34,276
Are you familiar
with the Blessed Roscoe...
1363
01:17:34,314 --> 01:17:37,613
the Merry Martyr?
1364
01:17:37,650 --> 01:17:44,112
No...but l have a feeling
Mona Barcavella is.
1365
01:17:44,157 --> 01:17:46,648
You don't think she's a nut,
do you, Father?
1366
01:17:46,693 --> 01:17:50,720
Sadie, there are people
who think l'm a nut.
1367
01:17:50,763 --> 01:17:55,427
First the Blessed Roscoe said,
''Love is all there is''...
1368
01:17:55,468 --> 01:17:59,404
and then he said,
''Love is not enough.''
1369
01:17:59,439 --> 01:18:02,374
That's the riddle of the Sphinx.
1370
01:18:02,408 --> 01:18:05,377
Love is all there is...
1371
01:18:05,411 --> 01:18:09,370
but when is love not enough?
1372
01:18:09,415 --> 01:18:14,250
l've been working
on that one myself.
1373
01:18:14,287 --> 01:18:18,087
That's so comforting
to know, Father.
1374
01:18:18,124 --> 01:18:20,388
l'll do this for you.
1375
01:18:20,426 --> 01:18:23,657
l'll give you another riddle.
1376
01:18:23,696 --> 01:18:29,100
Who are you
when you're not a mother?
1377
01:18:29,135 --> 01:18:31,933
When l'm not a mother?
1378
01:18:33,439 --> 01:18:35,236
Who am l?
1379
01:18:38,878 --> 01:18:41,938
Monsignor, l don't know.
1380
01:18:44,717 --> 01:18:46,912
Now let me tell you
about my mother-in-law.
1381
01:18:46,953 --> 01:18:48,580
This woman is so fat...
1382
01:18:48,621 --> 01:18:49,918
that she was crossing
King's Highway...
1383
01:18:49,956 --> 01:18:52,857
a truck went around her
and ran out of gas.
1384
01:18:52,892 --> 01:18:55,952
l'll tell you how stupid
my mother-in-law is.
1385
01:18:55,995 --> 01:19:00,022
She thinks mutual orgasm
is an insurance company.
1386
01:19:00,066 --> 01:19:01,863
Enough with
the mother-in-law jokes.
1387
01:19:01,901 --> 01:19:03,869
How about the gaga
that mother-in-laws...
1388
01:19:03,903 --> 01:19:05,871
put up with
from daughter-in-laws?
1389
01:19:05,905 --> 01:19:07,634
Nobody ever talks about that.
1390
01:19:07,673 --> 01:19:11,200
You stink.
Keep your mouth shut.
1391
01:19:11,244 --> 01:19:12,711
Who needs to listen to that?
1392
01:19:12,745 --> 01:19:15,543
My daughter-in-law, that strush.
1393
01:19:15,581 --> 01:19:17,310
Comedians--
they have no respect.
1394
01:19:17,350 --> 01:19:18,647
You're not even funny!
1395
01:19:18,684 --> 01:19:20,379
Wait. l'm just--
1396
01:19:20,420 --> 01:19:22,388
Get off the stage!
1397
01:19:22,422 --> 01:19:25,721
You stink!
Get the hell off!
1398
01:19:25,758 --> 01:19:27,419
lt was just a joke.
1399
01:19:27,460 --> 01:19:29,928
You don't know dick!
You're not funny.
1400
01:19:29,962 --> 01:19:31,896
l got a son-in-law.
1401
01:19:31,931 --> 01:19:34,058
Get off! You stink!
1402
01:19:34,100 --> 01:19:37,900
Mama, Papa, they did not
want us to get married.
1403
01:19:37,937 --> 01:19:40,405
l really appreciate
your accepting us, Dad.
1404
01:19:40,440 --> 01:19:42,908
You don't mind me
calling you Dad, do you?
1405
01:19:42,942 --> 01:19:44,910
What are you doing?
1406
01:19:44,944 --> 01:19:46,912
Someday you will thank us.
1407
01:19:46,946 --> 01:19:49,073
Don't you come back here again!
1408
01:19:49,115 --> 01:19:50,912
We're locking her in her room...
1409
01:19:50,950 --> 01:19:53,418
and sending her to Paris
tomorrow morning under guard!
1410
01:19:53,453 --> 01:19:56,081
Good thing my father isn't here!
l'll kick you in the ass!
1411
01:19:56,122 --> 01:19:59,523
Burn this vulgar Cappamezza rag.
1412
01:20:25,551 --> 01:20:29,612
Rosario, you're back.
Thank God.
1413
01:20:29,655 --> 01:20:30,986
Her parents locked her up.
1414
01:20:31,023 --> 01:20:32,388
They're giving her
a police escort...
1415
01:20:32,425 --> 01:20:34,689
to the plane tomorrow.
1416
01:20:34,727 --> 01:20:36,194
lt's for the best.
1417
01:20:36,229 --> 01:20:37,389
Those people, they're poison.
1418
01:20:37,430 --> 01:20:40,729
lf she leaves,
l never want to see you again.
1419
01:20:42,435 --> 01:20:43,925
Rosario...
1420
01:20:44,937 --> 01:20:46,302
Rosario...
1421
01:20:46,339 --> 01:20:48,899
you know how much l adore you.
1422
01:20:48,941 --> 01:20:50,909
You don't get it, do you, Ma?
1423
01:20:50,943 --> 01:20:52,911
lt's over between us.
1424
01:20:52,945 --> 01:20:55,914
lt's her turn to adore me now.
1425
01:20:55,948 --> 01:21:00,385
So you came back. That's good.
1426
01:21:01,888 --> 01:21:03,355
What happened?
1427
01:21:03,389 --> 01:21:07,655
Her parents lied to them
about getting married...
1428
01:21:07,693 --> 01:21:10,856
and now they're sending her
to Paris tomorrow by force.
1429
01:21:10,897 --> 01:21:12,888
Ooh, are we lucky.
1430
01:21:14,467 --> 01:21:17,402
ls the bird going to be OK?
1431
01:21:17,436 --> 01:21:20,428
lt's got a broken wing.
lt's in shock.
1432
01:21:20,473 --> 01:21:23,408
With the X-rays,
we're up to 200 bucks.
1433
01:21:23,442 --> 01:21:26,104
The vet wants to know how much
we're willing to spend.
1434
01:21:26,145 --> 01:21:27,942
Everything we got!
1435
01:21:27,980 --> 01:21:32,747
Broken wing and shock.
1436
01:21:32,785 --> 01:21:34,548
What does this all mean?
1437
01:21:34,587 --> 01:21:37,681
Why does everything always
have to mean something, Sadie?
1438
01:21:37,723 --> 01:21:40,385
Everything isn't
always what it seems to be.
1439
01:21:40,426 --> 01:21:43,987
l'm looking for what really is.
1440
01:21:44,030 --> 01:21:47,466
l want to be a good person.
1441
01:21:47,500 --> 01:21:50,901
l don't want to change people
by pushing them.
1442
01:21:50,937 --> 01:21:54,236
l want to change them
with my love.
1443
01:22:11,190 --> 01:22:14,387
lf we get arrested for this,
l'll never tell...
1444
01:22:14,427 --> 01:22:18,363
because anything in
the name of love is God's work.
1445
01:22:18,397 --> 01:22:22,231
We're like holy warriors
and shit.
1446
01:22:22,268 --> 01:22:24,361
Heaven is here,
where Juliet lives.
1447
01:22:24,403 --> 01:22:27,270
Every dog and every cat
and every little mouse...
1448
01:22:27,306 --> 01:22:30,002
may look upon her,
but Romeo may not.
1449
01:22:43,589 --> 01:22:46,057
When Carmella distracts them
with the loud music...
1450
01:22:46,092 --> 01:22:47,889
l spike the sauce.
1451
01:22:47,927 --> 01:22:50,225
ln the confusion,
we snatch Gina away.
1452
01:22:50,263 --> 01:22:52,390
This is a great plan.
l love this plan.
1453
01:22:52,431 --> 01:22:56,424
l'm calling my potion
Rosario's Revenge.
1454
01:22:56,469 --> 01:22:58,437
Duck!
1455
01:22:58,471 --> 01:23:03,431
This is so exciting.
1456
01:23:03,476 --> 01:23:06,138
l humbly accept this award...
1457
01:23:06,178 --> 01:23:10,046
from the City lsland
Cultural Society.
1458
01:23:14,820 --> 01:23:17,345
-lt's not going to work.
-Are you kidding?
1459
01:23:17,390 --> 01:23:20,416
This stuff would kill the hairs
on a Calabresa's ass.
1460
01:23:25,598 --> 01:23:30,058
As ltalians, be proud
to be from the country...
1461
01:23:30,102 --> 01:23:33,401
that gave us Dante,
that gave us Da Vinci...
1462
01:23:33,439 --> 01:23:36,670
that gave us Puccini,
that gave us--
1463
01:23:39,912 --> 01:23:42,107
Michelangelo.
1464
01:23:42,148 --> 01:23:44,139
How crude.
1465
01:23:44,183 --> 01:23:47,812
Piero della Francesca,
Tintoretto.
1466
01:23:47,853 --> 01:23:50,913
Cappamezza sabotage.
1467
01:24:05,304 --> 01:24:06,999
Chase that calamari
away from here.
1468
01:24:07,039 --> 01:24:08,666
Chase them!
1469
01:24:15,681 --> 01:24:17,876
-l hope this works.
-Will you quit worrying?
1470
01:24:17,917 --> 01:24:19,179
There's hot peppers
in there...
1471
01:24:19,218 --> 01:24:21,277
my family's been marinating
since before Mussolini.
1472
01:24:21,320 --> 01:24:25,882
Oh, boy,
they're coming this way.
1473
01:24:27,159 --> 01:24:29,650
We're on our way.
1474
01:24:29,695 --> 01:24:34,132
As Shakespeare would say,
''May the merry farts begin.''
1475
01:24:42,908 --> 01:24:46,366
This is the last straw of
the Sicilian Cappamezza!
1476
01:24:46,412 --> 01:24:48,471
Destroy them!
1477
01:24:48,514 --> 01:24:50,675
l want you to bring them
to their knees!
1478
01:24:50,716 --> 01:24:52,377
l will bring them to their feet!
1479
01:24:52,418 --> 01:24:53,908
Let me at them!
1480
01:24:56,622 --> 01:24:59,591
What did l tell you?
lt's working like a dream.
1481
01:24:59,625 --> 01:25:01,855
Hoist yourself up.
l got you.
1482
01:25:04,997 --> 01:25:08,865
You came for me!
1483
01:25:08,901 --> 01:25:10,368
Quick.
Leave them this note.
1484
01:25:10,403 --> 01:25:11,995
l want them to think
we're committing suicide.
1485
01:25:12,037 --> 01:25:13,504
That way, when they find out...
1486
01:25:13,539 --> 01:25:15,234
we're just eloping,
they'll be grateful.
1487
01:25:15,274 --> 01:25:17,003
You are so smart.
1488
01:25:17,042 --> 01:25:18,475
Quick, climb down my back.
1489
01:25:19,478 --> 01:25:22,276
All right. Move it over.
1490
01:25:22,314 --> 01:25:25,750
My ear. That's my ear.
1491
01:25:25,785 --> 01:25:27,252
Oh, God.
1492
01:25:29,388 --> 01:25:31,356
Go, Vinny! Go, Vinny!
1493
01:25:31,390 --> 01:25:33,517
Vinny! Vinny! Go, Vinny!
1494
01:25:44,904 --> 01:25:48,271
Come on! Come on!
1495
01:25:49,909 --> 01:25:51,399
Run! Run!
1496
01:25:55,181 --> 01:25:59,413
-We got to hide.
-ln here, in the smokehouse.
1497
01:26:01,353 --> 01:26:04,811
l was looking for my pussycat.
You seen him?
1498
01:26:04,857 --> 01:26:06,882
Big orange guy, three legs.
1499
01:26:06,926 --> 01:26:09,895
Here, Tripod. Tripod.
1500
01:26:09,929 --> 01:26:13,365
Here, Tripod.
Where are you, Tripod?
1501
01:26:13,399 --> 01:26:15,367
Tonight's the night
for lsabel and Vinny
1502
01:26:15,401 --> 01:26:17,869
Tonight's the night
for lsabel and Vinny
1503
01:26:17,903 --> 01:26:20,030
Whoo, lsabel! Whoo, Vinny!
1504
01:26:20,072 --> 01:26:22,506
Tonight's the night
for lsabel and Vinny
1505
01:26:24,076 --> 01:26:28,376
The coast is clear.
l think we can get away now.
1506
01:26:28,414 --> 01:26:33,351
This time tomorrow, we'll be
in Tennessee and married.
1507
01:26:33,385 --> 01:26:37,879
We got to get to my car
before they get back.
1508
01:26:37,923 --> 01:26:39,891
l love what you've done.
1509
01:26:39,925 --> 01:26:42,393
l love that
we're tricking our parents.
1510
01:26:42,428 --> 01:26:44,396
They think they know everything.
1511
01:26:44,430 --> 01:26:47,888
Yeah. Who needs them?
We got each other.
1512
01:26:47,933 --> 01:26:49,901
Should we not be going?
1513
01:26:49,935 --> 01:26:52,495
We got time.
1514
01:26:52,538 --> 01:26:54,403
lsabel and Vinny gonna do
the wild thing
1515
01:26:54,440 --> 01:26:56,704
lsabel and Vinny gonna do
the wild thing
1516
01:26:56,742 --> 01:26:58,835
Whoo, lsabel! Whoa, Vinny!
1517
01:26:58,878 --> 01:27:01,244
Whoo, lsabel! Whoa, Vinny!
1518
01:27:03,215 --> 01:27:07,515
Not Marilyn! My cake!
What are you doing?
1519
01:27:07,553 --> 01:27:12,616
l'm gonna kill you!
l swear! What are you doing?
1520
01:27:15,694 --> 01:27:18,686
lt's OK.
l'm going to help you.
1521
01:27:20,799 --> 01:27:24,257
The wedding is ruined.
My life is over.
1522
01:27:24,303 --> 01:27:25,770
The Malacicis did this!
1523
01:27:25,804 --> 01:27:28,170
Let's go teach
those ass wipes a lesson!
1524
01:27:28,207 --> 01:27:31,370
Nobody makes a jerk out
of my baby lsabel!
1525
01:27:31,410 --> 01:27:33,378
l'll kill them!
1526
01:27:33,412 --> 01:27:36,074
Ooh, cannoli creme.
1527
01:27:36,148 --> 01:27:38,673
lf l get my hands on them,
l'll mash them...
1528
01:27:38,717 --> 01:27:41,584
l'll bash them,
l'll pulverize them!
1529
01:27:41,620 --> 01:27:43,383
Do you know what
this wedding cost me?
1530
01:27:43,422 --> 01:27:47,324
$22,500! Without the band!
1531
01:27:47,359 --> 01:27:49,554
Get them!
Get every frigging one of them!
1532
01:27:49,595 --> 01:27:51,290
Get those bastards!
1533
01:27:51,330 --> 01:27:54,299
l saved 15 years
for that beautiful wedding...
1534
01:27:54,333 --> 01:27:56,927
since her first Holy Communion!
1535
01:27:56,969 --> 01:27:58,436
Give me a hand.
1536
01:27:58,470 --> 01:28:02,167
Let's knock their new smokehouse
over on its ass! Heave!
1537
01:28:04,877 --> 01:28:07,345
-What's happening?
-l don't know.
1538
01:28:07,379 --> 01:28:08,937
We got to get out of here.
1539
01:28:08,981 --> 01:28:11,472
Heave!
1540
01:28:11,517 --> 01:28:13,485
We got them! We got them!
1541
01:28:13,519 --> 01:28:16,852
l think l pulled something.
1542
01:28:18,390 --> 01:28:19,857
Where's the door?
1543
01:28:19,892 --> 01:28:22,383
l don't know.
l think we're sitting on it.
1544
01:28:26,799 --> 01:28:31,031
OK, let's not panic.
l'll figure something out.
1545
01:28:32,571 --> 01:28:34,038
What is that smell?
1546
01:28:37,142 --> 01:28:40,771
Gas. A line must be broken.
1547
01:28:40,813 --> 01:28:43,748
Help! Help! Help!
1548
01:28:43,782 --> 01:28:45,443
Somebody help us, please!
1549
01:28:45,484 --> 01:28:47,850
Please! Mama! Papa!
1550
01:28:47,886 --> 01:28:50,377
Mommy! Daddy! Help, please!
1551
01:28:54,226 --> 01:28:57,787
Gina is gone!
She left this note!
1552
01:28:57,830 --> 01:28:58,990
''Dear parents...
1553
01:28:59,031 --> 01:29:00,589
''we don't want to live
without each other.
1554
01:29:00,633 --> 01:29:02,828
''Forgive us
for what we are doing.
1555
01:29:02,868 --> 01:29:04,028
''Rosario and Gina.
1556
01:29:04,069 --> 01:29:05,900
''Lovers forever
in life and death.''
1557
01:29:09,875 --> 01:29:11,342
lt's Rosario's handwriting!
1558
01:29:11,377 --> 01:29:15,006
He can't mean suicide!
1559
01:29:15,047 --> 01:29:16,844
You have to find our children!
1560
01:29:16,882 --> 01:29:19,077
Jimmy, put out an APB on them.
1561
01:29:19,118 --> 01:29:21,552
They can't have gone far.
Please, go do it!
1562
01:29:21,587 --> 01:29:25,353
Could the bird--
Could the broken wing mean--
1563
01:29:25,391 --> 01:29:27,882
-We got to go find them.
-Come on!
1564
01:29:27,926 --> 01:29:30,360
Help! Help!
1565
01:29:30,396 --> 01:29:31,624
Help!
1566
01:29:31,664 --> 01:29:35,964
lf they die,
l will never forgive myself.
1567
01:29:36,001 --> 01:29:40,370
Blessed Mother, Mikey and l
and our new acquaintances...
1568
01:29:40,406 --> 01:29:42,874
the Count
and Contessa Malacici...
1569
01:29:42,908 --> 01:29:48,244
ask you to please bring
our children home safely.
1570
01:29:48,280 --> 01:29:50,009
Please,
l'll go to church every week.
1571
01:29:50,049 --> 01:29:52,244
-l go with you!
-Oh, Gina!
1572
01:29:56,055 --> 01:29:59,821
lt's no use.
l can't find the leak.
1573
01:29:59,858 --> 01:30:03,453
l regret any moment
l've lived without you.
1574
01:30:03,495 --> 01:30:05,827
We'll be together forever
in the afterlife.
1575
01:30:05,864 --> 01:30:07,695
Always.
1576
01:30:09,601 --> 01:30:16,439
-l don't want to die!
-Help!
1577
01:30:16,475 --> 01:30:19,035
-Michael.
-What?
1578
01:30:19,078 --> 01:30:21,342
l promise,
if the children are all right...
1579
01:30:21,380 --> 01:30:24,975
we will divide the neighborhood
in equal part.
1580
01:30:25,017 --> 01:30:27,349
l will go after
only the upper echelon...
1581
01:30:27,386 --> 01:30:30,844
and you will go after
the people of your level.
1582
01:30:30,889 --> 01:30:33,357
You're a real fair guy
for a big snob.
1583
01:30:33,392 --> 01:30:35,121
l thank you very much.
1584
01:30:35,160 --> 01:30:39,893
Please, dear God,
send somebody to guide us.
1585
01:30:41,400 --> 01:30:43,698
Look! Quick, stop the car!
1586
01:30:50,576 --> 01:30:54,774
-Mona?
-l've been praying for you.
1587
01:30:54,813 --> 01:30:56,610
lt's a miracle
that you heard me.
1588
01:30:56,648 --> 01:30:59,116
Both of your kids is in danger.
1589
01:30:59,151 --> 01:31:02,052
But doesn't the Blessed Roscoe
know where they are?
1590
01:31:02,087 --> 01:31:04,487
The Blessed Roscoe
can't help you.
1591
01:31:04,523 --> 01:31:07,492
You are creating
the meaning to your life.
1592
01:31:07,526 --> 01:31:09,391
You got the power here.
1593
01:31:09,428 --> 01:31:11,896
You will find them, with this.
1594
01:31:11,930 --> 01:31:14,194
-This?
-Yes!
1595
01:31:14,233 --> 01:31:17,327
This and this and this
ain't enough anymore.
1596
01:31:17,369 --> 01:31:21,328
Now go!
You ain't got a second to lose.
1597
01:31:21,373 --> 01:31:22,931
Go!
1598
01:31:22,975 --> 01:31:24,840
Where are we to go?
1599
01:31:24,877 --> 01:31:26,970
l don't know, but we ain't got
a second to waste.
1600
01:31:31,450 --> 01:31:33,315
Help...
1601
01:31:33,352 --> 01:31:34,546
Help.
1602
01:31:36,188 --> 01:31:39,157
We have been around
this neighborhood three times.
1603
01:31:39,191 --> 01:31:41,318
Now we must go back,
check with the police!
1604
01:31:41,360 --> 01:31:42,850
A little longer, please.
1605
01:31:42,895 --> 01:31:45,386
l'm trying to find them
with this.
1606
01:31:46,899 --> 01:31:48,867
You all right?
1607
01:31:48,901 --> 01:31:50,391
Yeah. l fell down.
l hurt my arm.
1608
01:31:50,435 --> 01:31:53,370
l think your arm is broken.
1609
01:31:53,405 --> 01:31:55,373
-Mike.
-What?
1610
01:31:55,407 --> 01:31:58,865
Mike, it's me! lt's me!
1611
01:31:58,911 --> 01:32:01,812
l'm the bird
with the broken wing.
1612
01:32:01,847 --> 01:32:04,941
l'm the one
who has to be healed.
1613
01:32:04,983 --> 01:32:06,814
What is she talking about?
1614
01:32:06,852 --> 01:32:09,218
l don't know what
she is talking about.
1615
01:32:09,254 --> 01:32:11,313
They're not committing suicide.
1616
01:32:11,356 --> 01:32:15,816
lt's me that wanted to die
from losing him.
1617
01:32:15,861 --> 01:32:17,829
They're eloping.
1618
01:32:17,863 --> 01:32:19,831
Piero, turn the car around.
1619
01:32:19,865 --> 01:32:22,356
They're in danger!
1620
01:32:22,401 --> 01:32:23,925
You just said they're eloping.
1621
01:32:23,969 --> 01:32:26,335
Maybe they were,
but now they're in danger.
1622
01:32:26,371 --> 01:32:29,238
Look at the cloud.
1623
01:32:29,274 --> 01:32:30,741
Don't you see
the snorting dragons?
1624
01:32:30,776 --> 01:32:34,473
l don't see the clouds.
What is a snorty dragon?
1625
01:32:34,513 --> 01:32:36,743
Piero, turn the car around.
1626
01:32:41,553 --> 01:32:46,889
Thus with a kiss, l die.
1627
01:32:59,438 --> 01:33:01,303
They're here.
1628
01:33:01,340 --> 01:33:03,308
They're here.
1629
01:33:03,342 --> 01:33:04,809
Where? Where are they?
1630
01:33:04,843 --> 01:33:07,311
They're here somewhere.
l'm beginning to feel it,
1631
01:33:07,346 --> 01:33:11,112
Not just here or here
or here...
1632
01:33:11,149 --> 01:33:13,982
but here!
1633
01:33:14,019 --> 01:33:16,317
Over here! This way!
1634
01:33:16,355 --> 01:33:18,323
Which way? This way?
1635
01:33:18,357 --> 01:33:19,824
This way! This way!
1636
01:33:19,858 --> 01:33:21,826
Which way are you talking about?
1637
01:33:21,860 --> 01:33:23,851
No! Over here!
1638
01:33:26,231 --> 01:33:27,823
Listen.
1639
01:33:27,866 --> 01:33:30,198
l hear something.
1640
01:33:30,235 --> 01:33:31,702
l smell gas.
1641
01:33:31,737 --> 01:33:33,466
The smokehouse!
1642
01:33:40,479 --> 01:33:43,471
They got to be in there.
Grab that edge.
1643
01:33:43,515 --> 01:33:47,281
We got it! Push it down!
1644
01:33:47,319 --> 01:33:48,980
Pull it open!
1645
01:33:49,021 --> 01:33:53,617
Help. Let me out of here.
1646
01:33:53,659 --> 01:33:55,854
Push again.
1647
01:33:55,894 --> 01:33:57,862
No, no, no. Pull.
1648
01:33:57,896 --> 01:33:59,659
Push.
1649
01:33:59,698 --> 01:34:01,666
Open the door. Where's the door?
1650
01:34:01,700 --> 01:34:03,031
Pull!
1651
01:34:04,770 --> 01:34:06,328
Oh, God.
1652
01:34:08,840 --> 01:34:10,467
Thank you so much.
1653
01:34:10,509 --> 01:34:13,637
Jesus. l'm so sorry.
1654
01:34:21,353 --> 01:34:23,150
Where am l?
1655
01:34:23,188 --> 01:34:25,656
You're in the hospital.
1656
01:34:25,691 --> 01:34:28,819
This, l think,
you'll get a big kick out of.
1657
01:34:28,860 --> 01:34:32,296
You're on sedatives,
just like the bird.
1658
01:34:34,099 --> 01:34:36,067
l'm glad you're OK, Sadie.
1659
01:34:36,101 --> 01:34:39,559
l would have been indisposable
without you, you know.
1660
01:34:39,604 --> 01:34:41,834
l know, Mikey.
1661
01:34:43,408 --> 01:34:47,902
l am so happy
You're looking so well, Sadie.
1662
01:34:47,946 --> 01:34:50,141
From the bottom of my soul...
1663
01:34:50,182 --> 01:34:54,141
l want to thank you
that you find the children.
1664
01:34:54,186 --> 01:34:56,450
You are very spiritual.
1665
01:34:56,488 --> 01:34:59,514
Thank you, Piero.
1666
01:34:59,558 --> 01:35:04,791
l'm sorry for acting
so nutsy with you.
1667
01:35:04,830 --> 01:35:06,730
You forgive us?
1668
01:35:06,765 --> 01:35:09,495
That's what mothers are for.
1669
01:35:09,534 --> 01:35:12,298
We were too young
to get married...
1670
01:35:12,337 --> 01:35:15,306
but we believe the experience
has grown us up.
1671
01:35:15,340 --> 01:35:18,309
We want to get married
because we believe...
1672
01:35:18,343 --> 01:35:22,541
the meaning for you saving us
is so that we could be together.
1673
01:35:22,581 --> 01:35:26,278
What do you think, Monsignor?
1674
01:35:26,318 --> 01:35:34,282
At sixteen, sexuality
overwhelms other feelings.
1675
01:35:34,326 --> 01:35:38,558
Can they love
themselves enough...
1676
01:35:38,597 --> 01:35:41,464
so they can
love each other more?
1677
01:35:41,500 --> 01:35:44,333
Another mystery, Monsignor?
1678
01:35:46,838 --> 01:35:48,169
Mike?
1679
01:35:48,206 --> 01:35:51,039
l vote yes because
they got us over a barrel.
1680
01:35:51,076 --> 01:35:54,239
Maria? Piero?
1681
01:35:54,279 --> 01:35:56,406
One moment, please, eh?
1682
01:36:13,932 --> 01:36:16,901
They are in love.
That is a fact.
1683
01:36:16,935 --> 01:36:19,233
We agree to the marriage.
1684
01:36:20,839 --> 01:36:22,898
Under this condition...
1685
01:36:22,941 --> 01:36:28,174
the appetizer and the pasta
will be at your catering hall.
1686
01:36:28,213 --> 01:36:31,910
The entree and the dessert
will be at our catering hall...
1687
01:36:31,950 --> 01:36:34,612
and there will be
no smoke effect...
1688
01:36:34,653 --> 01:36:35,984
or the deal is off!
1689
01:37:05,417 --> 01:37:08,386
Before we begin our ceremony...
1690
01:37:08,420 --> 01:37:12,379
Rosario and Gina
have written their own vows...
1691
01:37:12,424 --> 01:37:16,451
and they'd like to make them
at this time.
1692
01:37:16,495 --> 01:37:19,896
l'm sure the marriage
will mature them real fast...
1693
01:37:19,931 --> 01:37:22,331
and everything
will be all right.
1694
01:37:22,367 --> 01:37:25,393
l promise that l will
never wear clothes...
1695
01:37:25,437 --> 01:37:27,405
that you don't think
l look good in.
1696
01:37:27,439 --> 01:37:29,907
And l promise
to give you the space...
1697
01:37:29,941 --> 01:37:32,808
to play your kind of music.
1698
01:37:32,844 --> 01:37:36,439
At least they're not on drugs,
except for each other.
1699
01:37:36,481 --> 01:37:38,915
l'd like to thank my parents
for making it possible...
1700
01:37:38,950 --> 01:37:40,918
for me to go to Paris with Gina
for four years...
1701
01:37:40,952 --> 01:37:43,420
to study acting at the
Comedie-Fran�aise during the day
1702
01:37:43,455 --> 01:37:46,754
and Cordon Bleu
for cooking at night.
1703
01:37:46,791 --> 01:37:49,089
And my parents,
for allowing me...
1704
01:37:49,127 --> 01:37:52,119
to study ballet
and archaeology...
1705
01:37:52,164 --> 01:37:53,927
and for supporting
me and Rosario...
1706
01:37:53,965 --> 01:37:57,332
while we find ourselves.
1707
01:38:06,711 --> 01:38:08,906
l hope they're going
to be happy, Mikey.
1708
01:38:08,947 --> 01:38:12,906
lf they're not...
1709
01:38:12,951 --> 01:38:15,249
it's really
none of our business.
1710
01:38:16,922 --> 01:38:19,482
l figured it out.
1711
01:38:19,524 --> 01:38:22,891
''Love is all there is''
means that love is real.
1712
01:38:22,928 --> 01:38:26,261
Love is the immortal soul.
1713
01:38:26,298 --> 01:38:28,425
So if you're a parent...
1714
01:38:28,466 --> 01:38:31,026
you let your children
follow their hearts.
1715
01:38:33,138 --> 01:38:35,402
And ''love is not enough''...
1716
01:38:35,440 --> 01:38:39,900
means that even if your kids
don't know what they're doing...
1717
01:38:39,945 --> 01:38:42,914
if you're a good parent,
you say...
1718
01:38:42,948 --> 01:38:46,748
''lt's OK. lt's your life.''
1719
01:38:56,328 --> 01:38:57,920
We release these doves...
1720
01:38:57,963 --> 01:39:01,729
and our love soars with them.
1721
01:39:01,766 --> 01:39:05,202
l think the birds being
so healthy and happy...
1722
01:39:05,237 --> 01:39:08,673
means that the kids
are going to be, too.
1723
01:39:17,215 --> 01:39:19,183
l wonder what that means.
1724
01:39:19,217 --> 01:39:24,883
l now pronounce you
man and wife.
1725
01:39:24,923 --> 01:39:27,915
You may kiss the bride.
1726
01:39:38,436 --> 01:39:40,427
Lovely.
1727
01:39:43,975 --> 01:39:46,409
And they all lived
happily ever after...
1728
01:39:46,444 --> 01:39:49,413
till last Thursday
around 3:00...
1729
01:39:49,447 --> 01:39:52,439
but that's another story.
1730
01:39:53,605 --> 01:40:53,552
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