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1
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:21,521
[man] Nice!
2
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,152
[funky upbeat music playing]
3
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,709
I love this belt.
4
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,264
Only 30 minutes more TV. Okay, hon?
5
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,812
This lamp. Sweet. Oh.
6
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,315
[music playing on TV]
7
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,318
Donnie's gonna be here any minute.
8
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,279
Yeah. Whoa. [groans]
9
00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:28,338
[brakes screech]
10
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,428
[sniffs]
11
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,429
[horn honks]
12
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,432
[chuckles]
13
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,735
Welcome home, Sean Floyd.
14
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,573
All right, Donnie's here.
See you guys tomorrow.
15
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,658
All right, honey.
16
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,409
-Have fun camping, kiddo.
-Bye!
17
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,413
-[groaning]
-[man on TV] Oh, yeah. Ah, Ooh.
18
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,082
-[woman moaning]
-Oh, my God.
19
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,375
[man] Ooh.
20
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,417
Holy shit.
21
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,002
-What is this?
-I don't know!
22
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,171
-Oh, my God.
-[father] Work!
23
00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:13,466
-Just walk over, hit the button on the TV.
-What are they doing?
24
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,051
Okay, I'll see you guys later.
25
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,637
-[mother] What are you doing?
-[moaning, panting]
26
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,223
Dude, what are you doing?
Are you serious?
27
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:24,102
Sean Floyd, back on American soil
for one week only!
28
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,437
Dude, turn that off.
My little brother is crying in there.
29
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,231
-[cell phone clicks]
-That's crazy porn.
30
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:29,399
[Donnie] She's a big girl.
31
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,442
What are you wearing?
32
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,070
They're my hiking shorts.
33
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,281
Why do those cover your belly button
but not your balls?
34
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:38,992
What's that on your face?
You spilled something on your face.
35
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,328
It looks like you drank a glass
of Ed Sheeran's pubes.
36
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,206
In fact, the '80s nostalgia wave
we're living in, it's about to crest.
37
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,458
When it does, I'm gonna be swimming
in puss. Know why?
38
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,169
Are you growing a Narcos coke 'stache?
39
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,254
I am growing a Narcos coke 'stache,
my friend.
40
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,964
-You're growing a coke 'stache.
-Mm-hmm.
41
00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,674
Donnie Escobar, right here.
42
00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:55,592
-Wow.
-That's right.
43
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,010
[snickers]
44
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,303
How you doing, pal?
45
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,388
-I'm good. How are you?
-Glad to have you back.
46
00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,599
Ah, it's good to be back and...
47
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,309
Oh, we're hugging.
48
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,436
-[rap music playing]
-♪ That I'm sipping on ♪
49
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,272
♪ Ass that I'm gripping on
Leather that I'm sitting on ♪
50
00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,648
♪ Put this in your stereo ♪
51
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,358
♪ Press play, now here we go ♪
52
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,195
Oh, hey, dudes.
53
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,113
'Sup, Virgin Megastore?
54
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,365
-[woman] Excuse me?
-[Donnie] Oh, shit.
55
00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:21,701
-Hey, Mrs. Abelar.
-Hey.
56
00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:22,619
Hi.
57
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:26,039
[sighs] Jeremy,
what are you doing over there?
58
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,249
-[mouthing]
-[Mrs. Abelar] Jeremy!
59
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,211
I can see
you are jerking off the walking stick!
60
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,545
Mom, I'm packing.
61
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:36,007
Your dad and I are leaving in an hour,
and I want you out of here ASAP.
62
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:37,217
Okay, I'm going!
63
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,344
Oh, God, I so need this vacation.
64
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,888
Six hours,
I'll be in Napa with a Zinfandel.
65
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,389
[both] Bye, Mrs. Abelar.
66
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,807
Look who the fuck is back.
67
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,185
-[Sean] What's up, man?
-[laughing] What's up, man?
68
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:51,272
Yo, you dogs ready to get...
[softly] ...fucked up?
69
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,482
-Oh, yeah.
-Show him the ID.
70
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,776
[in normal voice] It's a military ID.
71
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,611
[chuckling] 1991, dude.
72
00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:59,239
-What? You buy stuff with this?
-[Donnie] Fuck yeah, he does.
73
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,491
Jack Jessop reporting for booze.
74
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,825
You don't look like this guy.
75
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,452
This guy looks like a soldier.
76
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,162
-You look like Pocahontas.
-[Jeremy scoffs]
77
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,498
-No one says shit to an Army ranger.
-All right.
78
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,417
I found this outside the booth
at the gun and knife show
79
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,587
when I was picking up this bad boy.
Check it out. Check it out.
80
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:15,588
Huh?
81
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:16,756
-Whoa.
-Oh, shit.
82
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:17,799
Hoo-rah!
83
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,300
-Pretty tight, huh?
-Yeah, it's cool.
84
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,512
This is in case we run into any crazy shit
out in the woods.
85
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,473
-Like, fucking crazy shit! Shit. Fuck!
-Whoa, man!
86
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,225
-I'm-- Sorry, dude.
-[Donnie] Come on, man.
87
00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:31,020
I try to act like I'm riding a bike,
but I still got the training wheels on.
88
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,397
-You feel me?
-[Donnie] Yeah.
89
00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,440
-Let's pack up the van.
-Let's do it!
90
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:38,569
-Yeah, let's just get out of here.
-[Sean] Let's pack it up. Hit the road.
91
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,196
[Donnie] Why are there so many bags?
92
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:41,572
-What is all this shit?
-Oh!
93
00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:47,078
Uh... Yeah,
there's a slight change of plans, dude.
94
00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:50,331
It sucks total donkey dick.
95
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,834
-Stop going through my shit, perv.
-[Donnie] Sarah?
96
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,336
No. No. No!
97
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,463
No, no. No way.
[chuckles] No, no, no.
98
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,841
-For real?
-Why does this feel so awkward?
99
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,926
Jeremy, did you not tell them
that we were coming?
100
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,805
I was-- I'm telling them now.
Like, they're learning of it right now.
101
00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,932
-Are you kidding?
-They're coming.
102
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,018
Welcome back, Sean.
103
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:11,894
Hey! Hey, what's up?
104
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,606
-Do you not hug people anymore?
-[Sean] Oh, yeah, sorry.
105
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,108
-They don't hug in Germany?
-[Sean] Yeah.
106
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,944
Welcome back. I mean, I'm back.
You're not back.
107
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,363
I'm just back for the next week.
Hey, Sarah, what's up?
108
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,531
Were you really in Germany?
109
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,492
There was a rumor you were in rehab
for bath salts.
110
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,578
-Everyone's talking about it.
-What? No.
111
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,580
Nein! Nein! I was in Germany. Yeah.
112
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,415
Cool hiking gear.
113
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,208
[Sean] Hmm? Oh. What?
114
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,419
-How'd that get tucked in?
-[Sarah] Stop!
115
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,212
-You're ruining my bra!
-I don't care.
116
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,548
[Sarah] This shit's expensive. Stop!
117
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:43,009
Jeremy said we're going six miles
into the woods.
118
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:43,926
Yeah!
119
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,595
Yeah. I'm glad you're coming, though.
120
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,472
It's gonna be worth it
when you see me twerking
121
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,182
with Mother Nature. [chuckles]
122
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,185
Are you gonna be twerking
against a tree or...
123
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,354
-How does that work?
-I don't know.
124
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,023
-[laughs]
-[Donnie] Excuse me!
125
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,317
This is supposed to be a bros trip.
126
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,278
So I need a group meeting. Now! Sean!
127
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,073
-Sounds mad. Yeah.
-I gotta go. Um...
128
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:06,908
Bye.
129
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,870
Hey, did you guys know that people think
I've been in rehab?
130
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:11,829
-Yeah.
-[Donnie] Yeah.
131
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:15,041
[stammers] Yeah, it's some bullshit rumor,
dude. Forget about it.
132
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,627
Look, I'm feeling fucking betrayed
with you, J-Tron.
133
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,170
Chad and my sister broke up yesterday,
134
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,130
so she bailed on Cancun
with his family.
135
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,299
-That's fine.
-[chuckles] Oh, what? They broke up?
136
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,637
-That sucks.
-Yeah, she found out he cheated on her--
137
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,722
I don't care what happened.
138
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:32,683
I'm not going camping with my ex
this weekend.
139
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,061
Wait,
I thought you guys were never "official."
140
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,271
Yeah, that's one of our many disputes.
Thank you, Sean.
141
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:41,401
Spring break. Indigonanza...
142
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:45,029
-is about bros. Bonding.
-Uh-huh.
143
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,489
Ceremoniously drinking
144
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,951
a bottle of Indigo Caribbean Spiced Rum
in 48 hours.
145
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,246
-That's the tradition.
-This is true.
146
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:56,541
Plus, we only have Sean for one week
before he goes back to dipping his balls
147
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,376
in sauerkraut
for the rest of the school year.
148
00:06:58,459 --> 00:06:59,877
That's not something we do.
149
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,213
All right.
This is shitty for me too, okay?
150
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:04,090
My girlfriend freaked out
when she found out
151
00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,217
ladies were coming
and I didn't invite her.
152
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,095
How many times do I have to tell you?
You're being catfished.
153
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,723
Her name is Kendall Jenners.
154
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:14,517
With an S.
155
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,978
-Not real.
-That's her name, okay?
156
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,646
She's real, all right?
157
00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:22,316
We're gonna meet this summer
at theater camp and we're gonna have sex.
158
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,319
Hey, actually, that reminds me, Sean.
159
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,948
This weekend might actually be your chance
to bang my sister.
160
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,117
-Whoa, whoa!
-What the fuck?
161
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,871
She's my twin sister, okay?
We have this special connection thing.
162
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,331
If she's having sex,
it's like if I'm having sex.
163
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,084
-Dude, that's gro-- Don't say that! Now--
-Why not?
164
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,753
Why would you not want me to feel sex?
Sex is great.
165
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:43,754
It's your fucking twin.
166
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,173
-Don't be disgust--
-[screaming]
167
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,593
-[Donnie] Jesus Christ!
-Stop pouting in there, cheddar bush.
168
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,763
It's gonna be like this
the whole fucking time.
169
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,515
[sighs] Scared me.
170
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:56,893
[girl] Here we go.
171
00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,353
-[Sean] Bye!
-[Sarah] Bye, Mrs. Abelar.
172
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,064
-[Jeremy] Bye!
-Fuck you, Mrs. Abelar.
173
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,941
Don't say "fuck you" to my mom, man.
174
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,904
-We say "fuck you" to Mom all the time.
-Well, yeah, but she's, like, our mom.
175
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:11,782
I just don't think any Abelar woman
should be disrespected…
176
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,242
like that.
177
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,703
[sighs] Yeah.
178
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,622
Ah, they're good kids.
179
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,041
-They're nightmares.
-I know, hon. Let's go.
180
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,335
-They're my suicidal nightmares.
-I know, I know.
181
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,549
["Free Song" by Maria Taylor playing
on radio]
182
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,968
♪ ...to do what I want ♪
183
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:35,181
-[inhales sharply] Uh... [sighs]
-♪ So free ♪
184
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,897
-♪ I'm free ♪
-[softly] Uh, thanks, man.
185
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,315
[chuckles softly]
186
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,361
[in normal voice] Hey, um,
I'm really sorry about Chad.
187
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,113
[clicks tongue] Thanks. [inhales sharply]
188
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,243
So, do you guys keep in touch at all?
Or...
189
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,329
Oh, well, we broke up 17 hours ago.
190
00:08:58,871 --> 00:08:59,956
So...
191
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,332
I'll keep you posted.
192
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:04,919
♪ To show the love you lack ♪
193
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:11,342
-[cell phone vibrates]
-♪ Even if nobody loves you back ♪
194
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:14,303
[sighs]
195
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,013
-[chuckles]
-[Sarah] Hey!
196
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,225
Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance?
197
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,351
Oh, wow, really?
198
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,687
You know what, Sarah?
I'm gonna have to think about it,
199
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,813
but thank you for asking.
200
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,315
Actually, I just wanted to warn
whoever you end up going with
201
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,733
that you shart during blow jobs.
202
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,777
-That happened one time!
-Happened two times.
203
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,988
-You said you'd never--
-[Sarah laughing]
204
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,532
-Dog, you sharted mid-beej?
-[all laughing]
205
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,081
♪ Got me ready
Why are you taking long? ♪
206
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,875
[Jeremy] All right. Stay in the van.
Be cool. I got this.
207
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,586
Hoo-rah!
208
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,922
-♪ Now do it, do it, do it, do it ♪
-[bell dings]
209
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,094
-[rock music playing on stereo]
-What's up?
210
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,263
You got ID?
211
00:09:58,472 --> 00:09:59,724
Blammo! [coughs]
212
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,645
[clerk] Hmm... Ranger, huh?
213
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,189
$47.65.
214
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,484
Military discount. [clicks tongue]
215
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:14,363
-[Sean] Stop. Wipe it on your dirty butt.
-No! Not on my... Ah! Not on my butt!
216
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,865
Know what? Just keep the change.
217
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,076
-You have a great day. No receipt. Heh.
-[bell dings]
218
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,828
["Dougou Badia"
by Amadou & Mariam playing]
219
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:27,835
♪ Djamayo ounalyendé aounana
Dougou badia dela ♪
220
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:36,886
♪ Djamayo ounalyendé aounana
Mogo gnana djé dela ♪
221
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,557
[laughs] That's not funny, man.
222
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,227
Yeah, you're great.
Yeah, I'm just gonna put it in there.
223
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:49,273
All right, guys. Let's get these
Snow Mates ready for their cover shoot.
224
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,026
♪ While they laugh and shake their head
Still we coming in ♪
225
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:55,738
♪ Now, love, you lead the way
We go, go, go ♪
226
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,157
♪ We go, go, go ♪
227
00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,575
[inhales sharply] Ow.
228
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,494
-♪ Still we coming in ♪
-Here.
229
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:04,413
♪ We go, go, go ♪
230
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,207
♪ We go, go, go ♪
231
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,418
♪ Yeah ♪
232
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:10,586
[car alarm beeps]
233
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,631
♪ Yeah ♪
234
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,842
♪ Let it play, let it play
Let’s make it a holiday ♪
235
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,010
♪ Yeah ♪
236
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:21,055
♪ Every day, every day
A party every way ♪
237
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,264
♪ Yeah ♪
238
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,100
Jeremy, where are you taking us?
239
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:28,521
We're going deep
into Mother Nature's puss...
240
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,649
all the way up past the ovaries.
241
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,110
Whoo!
242
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,034
Kendall gets so wet for this shit.
243
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,745
-[camera shutter clicking]
-I'm sure that he does.
244
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,923
[all panting]
245
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,185
Oh, this is it, dogs.
246
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:10,354
This is base camp.
247
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,190
-[all groan, sigh]
-[Sean] Fucking finally! Jesus Christ.
248
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,359
[Sean whistling]
249
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,777
[Jeremy] Oh, here we go.
250
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,989
Here we go. Oh, what the fuck?
251
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,415
Fuck Chad, right?
252
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,792
[inhales sharply] Uh, yeah.
253
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,086
High school relationships are bullshit,
anyway.
254
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,505
I just feel really embarrassed.
255
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:37,798
Yeah.
256
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,634
But what if you tried to just...
257
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:44,180
you know, do something
to take your mind off of it a little bit?
258
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:48,726
You could hook up with Sean.
259
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:54,023
Come on, it might be fun just to hook up
with someone that's nice for a change.
260
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:58,194
Plus, you've always kind of liked him,
and he got kind of hot in Germany.
261
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,114
[girl] I wouldn't say "hot."
262
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,534
I feel
like he finished going through puberty.
263
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,328
[both laugh]
264
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,457
-You're blowing it with Becky.
-Man, they just broke up.
265
00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,293
This is the Rent cast party
all over again.
266
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,962
This is not like the Rent cast party.
Okay? It's not like that.
267
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,923
Remember what happened
at the Rent cast party?
268
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:21,675
You sat on the couch
sipping your Mike's Hard.
269
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,385
Her hand on your thigh.
270
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,429
You were on the couch
and you squeezed his thigh.
271
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,723
Then I asked if he wanted to go smoke
on the roof.
272
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,600
Wait, yeah, what did he say again?
273
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,269
I told her that I passed on grass.
274
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:36,440
Which doesn't make any sense
because we smoke literally all the time.
275
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,025
They literally smoke all the time.
276
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,652
And you sat there watching as she left.
277
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,195
I just got up and left.
278
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,948
I told you that I couldn't stand up
because...
279
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,909
-Maybe he just had a boner.
-I had a boner.
280
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,077
Oh, ew.
281
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,162
Who gets a boner
from someone touching their thigh?
282
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,915
You're being cock blocked, literally,
by your own cock.
283
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,542
I don't know, man. I can't control it.
284
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,627
She then goes upstairs,
makes out with Chad,
285
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,004
and they've been fucking dating
till this moment.
286
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,089
The Rent cast party?
287
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,424
That was your chance to be with Becky,
and you blew it.
288
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,552
-[Jeremy] Yeah, Donnie's right.
-Thank you.
289
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,679
Musical theater's
the ultimate aphrodisiac.
290
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,265
That's why me and Kendall are composing
an R-rated musical
291
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,225
based on the songs of Britney Spears.
292
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,395
Dude, get this, all right? It's called
Blonde to Bald to Back Again.
293
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,939
Shit is gonna be so fucking tight, dude.
I can't wait.
294
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,024
I mean, you remember Christmas Eve, right?
295
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,986
When I sang Kendall
my "Oops! I Did It Again" solo?
296
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:25,781
Dude, I had to Urban Dictionary the shit
she said she was gonna do to my body.
297
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,283
Oh, dude, I almost forgot.
298
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,244
I got you something, dude.
It's for you and Becks.
299
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,871
It glows in the dark and shit.
300
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,623
[Sean] What? "The Fuck King Condom"?
301
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,750
Yeah. King of fucking, dude.
302
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:41,088
Or you can go raw, dog.
I mean, I'm down to be an uncle.
303
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,507
Stop it
with the fucking your sister stuff.
304
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,677
As weird as this fucking guy is,
he's right about one thing.
305
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,554
Becky's always had a thing for you.
306
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,222
No, that's 100% conjecture.
307
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,225
[stammers] I don't know.
I'm slow-playing it, okay?
308
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,686
You're no-playing it.
Be her rebound, okay?
309
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,606
Take off your practice sweats
and crash the fucking boards.
310
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,024
-Yeah.
-[Donnie] Play dirty.
311
00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:03,152
You think I didn't throw a few 'bows
to get where I am with Sarah?
312
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,654
What?
Where do you think you are with Sarah?
313
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,822
You guys hate each other.
314
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:08,657
Donnie?
315
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,786
Drink up, bitch.
316
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,413
-[thuds]
-[all groan] Oh!
317
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:15,497
-[Sean] Snap.
-[Jeremy] Fuck!
318
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,624
What was that?
319
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,666
[Becky] Oh!
320
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,335
-Why?
-[laughing]
321
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,003
Fuck!
322
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,213
Well, nature's great,
but it's still spring break.
323
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,257
And I'm ready to rage.
324
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,800
Let the games begin.
325
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:30,054
Actually, Sarah, this is a bros trip
that you're intruding on.
326
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,597
Indigonanza's our thing.
327
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,683
So I'm gonna be the one
who officially starts everything off.
328
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,601
Okay.
329
00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:37,269
-Let--
-Indigonanza begin.
330
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,480
[Donnie chuckles]
331
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,357
Okay. Let--
332
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,025
-Let Indigonanza begin.
-This is my thing.
333
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,027
Guys, it's important to him, so...
334
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,820
Let Indigonanza...
335
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,781
begin.
336
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:50,616
-[whoops]
-[rap music plays]
337
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,743
I liked it better when she said it.
338
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,288
♪ Turn down for what, turn down for what
Turn down for what ♪
339
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,666
♪ We don't turn down for what
We in VIP, yellin' ♪
340
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,209
♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪
341
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,795
♪ We all VIP, yellin'
More bottles, more bitches ♪
342
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:05,089
♪ We in VIP, yellin'
More bottles, more bitches ♪
343
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:08,300
♪ We in VIP, yellin'
More bottles, more bitches ♪
344
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,594
♪ Hey, more bottles of that rosé ♪
345
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,846
♪ More redbones that look like Solé ♪
346
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,391
♪ Booty fatter than a burrito
From Chick-fil-A ♪
347
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:18,060
♪ I'm trying to take that ass home
Like Triple-A ♪
348
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,813
[all laughing]
349
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:23,023
♪ You better, you better
Listen what the core say ♪
350
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:25,275
♪ Turn down for what
Turn down for what ♪
351
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,987
♪ Unless you turning her
Face down and ass up ♪
352
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,656
♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪
353
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:33,617
♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪
354
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,120
♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪
355
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,664
♪ More bottles, more bitches ♪
356
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,418
[inaudible]
357
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:47,006
[Becky] I mean, look at him. [laughs]
358
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,008
[whispering] He's going to town
on that trail mix.
359
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,843
Do you still have your bong bear?
360
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:51,969
Yeah, I do.
361
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,263
-[Sarah] Get over there and make a move.
-[burps]
362
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,682
[whispering]
You should fuck my sister.
363
00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,935
-[in normal voice] I'm gonna piss.
-Thanks for letting me know.
364
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,520
-[Sarah] Go get 'em.
-[Becky] Okay.
365
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,439
-Nice ass.
-[Becky] Okay. Fine.
366
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,275
[clicks tongue] Hey!
367
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,278
-Quit hogging that trail mix.
-[Sean] Okay.
368
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,780
[Becky and Sean laugh]
369
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,366
-[Becky] Oh...
-Coming in.
370
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,995
-[Sean] Beep, beep, beep.
-No, that's enough. Thank you. [chuckles]
371
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,794
Uh, so did you hear about the--
the bear thing?
372
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,047
-No.
-Yeah.
373
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,215
Here's one right now. Oh!
374
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,092
-Whoa! What?
-What?
375
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,136
-It's just a-- It's a bong bear.
-The bear bong.
376
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,096
Bear bong! [chuckles]
377
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:41,935
Hey, if you wanted, we could...
we could go hot box the tent later.
378
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,522
We could do that.
379
00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,857
-I'm free now.
-You're free?
380
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,735
Uh, that's kind of perfect,
'cause I'm free.
381
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:52,279
-Yeah, our schedules lined up perfectly.
-[laughs]
382
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,073
-Uh, let's go now.
-Okay!
383
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,074
-Here we go.
-Cool.
384
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,366
Oh, my God. Did you hear that?
385
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,452
Jeremy's talking to himself.
We gotta fuck with him.
386
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:00,412
We gotta go.
We gotta go right now. Let's go.
387
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,539
-Sorry.
-[Jeremy speaking indistinctly]
388
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:03,916
Bye.
389
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,501
This knife is so sharp,
390
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,419
it can cut piss.
391
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:10,255
Oh, what's that?
392
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:14,051
-Are you pissing on this endangered fern?
-[whispering] What the fuck is he doing?
393
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:18,055
Oh, shit, it's an anthill.
[chuckling] I'd better get 'em.
394
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:18,972
Let's get him.
395
00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,225
-We approach a wild teen.
-You're dead!
396
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,352
-[blade slicing]
-[screams]
397
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,658
-Oh, shit. I think I cut myself.
-Did you-- Did you just...
398
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,243
-[spurting]
-Oh, no!
399
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,495
Why-- why are you looking down there?
400
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,664
Keep your eyes above... No.
What are you doing?
401
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,249
That's not okay. That's...
402
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:53,674
[all scream]
403
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,385
Where'd my dick go?
Did you see my dick, Sean?
404
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,386
Sean, you didn't it?
405
00:18:57,469 --> 00:19:00,097
What about you, Donnie?
[crying] Did you see my dick?
406
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,432
-[gasps]
-What is-- What is happening?
407
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,394
-I just cut off my dick.
-Jeremy, is this a fucking prank?
408
00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,312
Don't be stupid.
Come on, show me your dick.
409
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,814
I cut off my dick, Becky!
410
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:13,652
-I cut my dick off!
-[thunder rumbling]
411
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,904
-Oh, my God, it's not a prank.
-[Sean] Help! Help him!
412
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,614
[Jeremy crying, moaning]
413
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,408
I don't think it'll be okay.
414
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,076
You'll be fine, man.
We'll lay you down.
415
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,828
-[all grunt]
-[Sean] Come on.
416
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,413
Here we go. Put this under his head.
417
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,708
Shit. That's a lot of blood, goddammit!
That's a lot of blood.
418
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:30,627
-[groans] I'm gonna fucking die.
-[Donnie] Jeremy's gonna die.
419
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,880
We can all stand here and have a meltdown
420
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:35,132
or we can get our shit together
and save Jeremy.
421
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:36,633
Oh, my God, I'm gonna die!
422
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,678
-We need to call 911, now.
-[Sean] Yeah, get our phones.
423
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,681
-Kendall... theater camp.
-[Sean] My phone's in the van.
424
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,767
-[Donnie] Don't die.
-Fuck. I don't have any service. Do you?
425
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:46,935
-I don't.
-Fuck. Me neither.
426
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,812
-I got nothing.
-Fuck. You don't have service?
427
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,564
Just--
Oh, give me one second to think.
428
00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:53,025
Okay. I'm going to the top of the ridge.
Give me your phones.
429
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,152
Okay. One of them has to have service,
right?
430
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,613
-What's the passcodes?
-3-5-3-2.
431
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,574
69-69, which is pretty ironic now.
432
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:03,035
-Mine's 0-0-4-7.
-0-0-4-7.
433
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,828
-Go.
-What's your passcode, Donnie?
434
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,663
-All ones, dude. All ones.
-Okay.
435
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,834
Guys! Hey, guys, in times like these,
we-- we gotta... Fucking...
436
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,586
-[Donnie] Just go!
-[Sarah] Get out of here!
437
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:15,088
-[Sean] Yeah, I'm going!
-[Becky] Oh, my God. Okay, Jeremy.
438
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,967
Someone...
Someone needs to find the... penis.
439
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,427
-[Jeremy] Get my penis.
-Okay.
440
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,929
-Get my penis.
-[Donnie] Yeah.
441
00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,805
Dude, I'm gonna get your fucking peen.
442
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,515
I'm taking this. I'm getting a flashlight.
443
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,809
-I'm gonna go with Donnie.
-Yeah, I'll stay with Jeremy.
444
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,604
-It's gonna be okay, right? All good?
-It's gonna be okay. Yeah.
445
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,731
You're gonna get my dick.
I'm gonna get my dick back.
446
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,274
Yeah, we're gonna find it.
447
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,819
Just for scale, what am I looking for?
Like half this? A-- a quarter?
448
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,030
I'm not gonna tell her how big my dick is.
449
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,366
-I'm gonna take it as a quarter.
-[Jeremy groans]
450
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,409
If this doesn't work out, Becky,
451
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,912
-I'm gonna be your sister now.
-Okay.
452
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,705
-You already have the hair for it.
-Yeah.
453
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,544
Hey! That is a cliff.
454
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,090
All right. [clears throat] Okay.
[panting]
455
00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,800
Nope. All right, come on.
456
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,469
Crap. No, come on! Come on!
457
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:04,012
Come on! Bars! Bars! We got bars!
458
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,682
We got bars. Oh, baby mama.
459
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,685
All right. I can hear you now.
460
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:11,645
Fuck yeah.
461
00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:13,146
[line ringing]
462
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,065
[operator] 911, what's your emergency?
463
00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,358
Hello! Hello! Hello!
464
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,404
911. I have a medical emergency.
I need a medevac pronto.
465
00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:24,783
My friend has lost his penis.
He cut it off. I think it was an accident.
466
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:25,701
Okay.
467
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,247
[Sarah] Okay. Come on. Okay.
468
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:32,332
-[Sarah and Donnie groan]
-[Sarah] Fuck.
469
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,292
Shit!
470
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:34,960
[grunts]
471
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,923
-If I was a dick, where would I be?
-You are a dick. That shouldn't be hard.
472
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,091
-[Donnie grunts]
-Oh, my God.
473
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:42,134
-[Donnie] What?
-Found it!
474
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,218
[Donnie] Where?
475
00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:44,761
[Sarah] Oh.
476
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,596
It's a pine cone.
477
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,889
It's gotta be here somewhere.
478
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,017
I mean,
how fucking far could this dick fly?
479
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:52,602
It could be anywhere
within a thousand-foot radius.
480
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:55,522
[operator] Okay, sir,
I'm triangulating your current location.
481
00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:57,190
-Uh...
-[phone beeps]
482
00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:00,569
"Hey, babe, I'm sorry I was an idiot.
Where are you?"
483
00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:03,905
"I bailed on Cancun.
Are you at your house?"
484
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,116
-Oh, come on.
-We're sending a medevac helicopter.
485
00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:07,367
Okay, yes. Thank you.
486
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:08,285
[phone beeps]
487
00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:11,455
"I want to make this work. I miss you.
You're the shit."
488
00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:16,460
Crash the boards, Sean.
489
00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:20,630
Fuck Chad, man. Fuck you.
490
00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:23,550
You're a...
491
00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,472
dirty taint.
492
00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,057
Fuck, yeah.
493
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,477
Shit.
494
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,436
Send.
495
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:35,729
[sighs]
496
00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:38,899
Fucking send.
497
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:42,194
-Send it. Come on.
-Did you get a signal?
498
00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:44,279
[both scream, gasp]
499
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:47,032
-Oh!
-Sean?
500
00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:50,285
Please tell me that wasn't all the phones.
501
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,244
No, no.
502
00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:55,207
-I mean, yes, it was...
-It was.
503
00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:57,751
...all the phones.
But, hey, hey, I called 911.
504
00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,379
I talked to them. They're gonna send
a medevac in 30 minutes.
505
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:02,005
-So... So that's good!
-Okay.
506
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,423
-Yeah!
-Let's go. Let's go.
507
00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:04,716
That's-- All right.
508
00:23:06,259 --> 00:23:08,970
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait! Whoa!
509
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,430
It's a fucking mushroom, dude.
510
00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:13,517
-Everything looks like a dick at night!
-What is that?
511
00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:14,893
Hmm?
512
00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:17,479
Is that a piece of coyote scat?
Are there coyotes here?
513
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,148
That's not shit.
514
00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,484
[Sarah] What do you mean?
515
00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:24,194
That's Jeremy's dick.
516
00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:25,195
Oh, my God.
517
00:23:25,904 --> 00:23:28,031
[retches]
518
00:23:31,618 --> 00:23:32,619
Damn it.
519
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,414
I'm gonna get some sticks
to pick that up with.
520
00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:37,165
[groans]
521
00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:39,042
-The medevac's on its way.
-[sighs]
522
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,127
We got the dick!
523
00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:41,711
-Yes.
-And Sarah puked on it.
524
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:43,380
-[Sarah] Donnie!
-Sean lost the phones.
525
00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:44,339
[both] What?
526
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,550
First my dick, and now my 7, Sean!
527
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,428
Is my pee-pee okay?
528
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,721
-Okay. We gotta keep this warm.
-Okay.
529
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,433
Where is it? I wanna see it. Where--
530
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:55,934
[Sarah] Warm it up, baby. Come on.
531
00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,727
-Whoa!
-What are you doing?
532
00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:00,272
I'm keeping the capillaries open.
Stop yelling at me.
533
00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,565
You gotta put that on ice!
534
00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:03,775
I don't know.
They don't teach you this in health class.
535
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,861
My dick is on a stick!
536
00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:07,946
-Gotta put it on some ice.
-Ice, ice!
537
00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:12,117
[Becky and Sarah] Ew!
538
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:30,260
[sighs]
539
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,721
Do you think the helicopter
is gonna find us?
540
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,433
I hope so.
541
00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:38,768
Yeah, I do. Yeah.
542
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,982
[Jeremy]
♪ I think I did it again ♪
543
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,861
♪ I made you believe ♪
544
00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:51,698
♪ We're more than just friends ♪
545
00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:53,617
[whispering] Is this normal?
546
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:57,078
It's from his Britney Spears musical
he's writing with his fake girlfriend.
547
00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:01,333
♪ Oh, baby, it might... ♪
548
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:05,128
[Donnie and Jeremy]
♪ ...seem like a crush ♪
549
00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:08,507
♪ But it doesn't mean ♪
550
00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:13,386
♪ That I'm serious ♪
551
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:20,894
[all joining in]
♪ 'Cause to lose all my senses ♪
552
00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:25,982
-[sniffles]
-♪ That is just so typically me ♪
553
00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:28,902
♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪
554
00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:32,531
♪ Oops, I did it again ♪
555
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:36,159
♪ I played with your heart ♪
556
00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:39,663
♪ Got lost in the game ♪
557
00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:41,706
♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪
558
00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:45,752
♪ Oops, you think I'm in love ♪
559
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:49,756
-♪ That I'm sent from above ♪
-[helicopter blades whirring]
560
00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:52,008
-Hey! Look at this!
-[Jeremy] ♪ I'm not ♪
561
00:25:52,092 --> 00:25:55,053
-Yes! Yay!
-♪ That innocent ♪
562
00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:57,931
-[all shouting]
-[Sean] Over here! Come on! Hey!
563
00:25:58,056 --> 00:25:59,432
-Wait. Where are you going?
-[Sarah] Hey!
564
00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,476
Oh, my God. It didn't see us.
It didn't see us.
565
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,519
[Donnie] Okay.
566
00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,605
-This. This'll get their attention.
-What are you doing?
567
00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,148
Fuck this! Everybody run.
568
00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:09,025
-[Sean] What? Oh, my God.
-[Sarah] Oh, my God.
569
00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:10,902
What? Yo! Yo!
570
00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,071
[Donnie] Get your head down, Jeremy.
571
00:26:13,154 --> 00:26:14,906
Fuck you, Donnie!
572
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,492
[screams] Oh... Okay.
573
00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:19,035
Guys?
574
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,746
-What the fuck?
-Guys!
575
00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:24,165
Seriously?
576
00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:28,003
Wow, Donnie, I am so impressed.
This is some of your best work.
577
00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:41,057
[screams]
578
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:42,726
Becky! Becky!
579
00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:43,768
[shrieks]
580
00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:47,022
-What the fuck!
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
581
00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,482
-[Jeremy continues screaming]
-Damn, that was dope.
582
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:50,734
-[Becky] You okay?
-[Jeremy] No.
583
00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:52,152
[Sarah] Holy shit. That was crazy.
584
00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:55,113
-Oh, hey! It worked! Hey, we're here!
-[all shouting]
585
00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:58,575
-Let's get the dick. I got it. Let's go.
-[Becky] Let's go, Jeremy.
586
00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:01,077
-[Jeremy groaning]
-[Sean] Oh, hey!
587
00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,787
Hey, guys. Come on!
588
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,376
-[Sarah] Hey, look! Hey!
-[Sean] Hey!
589
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,419
-[Donnie] Hey!
-[Becky] Hi.
590
00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,713
Hey!
591
00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:17,218
We'll get him to East General Hospital,
ASAP.
592
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:21,014
As long as it's within twelve hours,
a severed member can still be reattached.
593
00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:22,265
-Yes!
-Okay, thank you.
594
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,059
[man] Your friends did a good job.
You're gonna be okay.
595
00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:24,976
[Becky] Thank you!
596
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,562
Whose idea was it
to set off the fireball?
597
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:28,855
That was all me, dude.
598
00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:30,273
You're a fucking idiot!
599
00:27:30,357 --> 00:27:32,609
We saw you guys on our initial approach.
600
00:27:32,692 --> 00:27:35,987
Hike down to your car
and you can meet him at the hospital.
601
00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:38,657
Okay. [laughing] Okay, okay. Hey.
602
00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,410
You're gonna be okay. Yeah.
We're gonna see you at the hospital, okay?
603
00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,330
Becky, you need to shut the fuck up.
You're wasting time. We gotta go.
604
00:27:45,413 --> 00:27:46,456
Okay, yeah! Yeah!
605
00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:48,416
-He's not gonna die!
-He's gonna be fine.
606
00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:52,337
-[whoops]
-[Sean] Stay strong, Jeremy!
607
00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:53,797
[Sarah] Bye, Jeremy.
608
00:27:57,258 --> 00:27:59,469
Look. He's reverse-Terminator-ing.
609
00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:00,720
That's epic.
610
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,892
Okay. He's gonna be okay.
611
00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:08,395
-[laughs]
-Oh, my God. Thank God.
612
00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:14,609
-[giggles] He's good.
-He's good.
613
00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:20,115
-[all laughing]
-[crying, sniffles]
614
00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:21,366
Whoo!
615
00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:46,474
-[Becky] He really lost a lot of blood.
-[Sarah] Yeah, man, I'm covered.
616
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,853
Can I propose a little toast
to the first responders?
617
00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:51,771
-[Sean] Yes.
-May the heroes that--
618
00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:56,025
-Guys?
-What?
619
00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:58,111
-What?
-Guys!
620
00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:00,321
What? Ah!
621
00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:04,242
-What is it? [gasps]
-[Sarah] What? [gasps]
622
00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:09,581
Sean?
623
00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:12,208
You gave the EMT the wrong cooler?
624
00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,378
No! No, no. No way.
625
00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:17,964
-Wait. Wait, we have the dick!
-Donnie, no!
626
00:29:18,047 --> 00:29:19,841
-[Donnie] Wait! Come back!
-[all shouting] Oh!
627
00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:23,011
-[groans] Oh, shit!
-[Sarah] The ice...
628
00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:33,271
-[Donnie sighs]
-[sighs]
629
00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:34,898
We have my brother's dick.
630
00:29:35,356 --> 00:29:37,734
With no ice and no phones.
631
00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:41,321
-[Becky] We have 12 hours, right?
-Yeah, I think the EMT meant if it's,
632
00:29:41,404 --> 00:29:42,322
you know, on ice.
633
00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,741
Oh, shit! Oh, wait. They-- they--
634
00:29:44,824 --> 00:29:46,034
They also told us to hike down.
635
00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,744
They probably don't think
we're here anymore.
636
00:29:47,827 --> 00:29:50,163
Shit. Look, I'm willing to wait and see.
637
00:29:50,246 --> 00:29:52,373
But by that time,
Jeremy's dick is gonna be rotten
638
00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:53,416
and have flies on it--
639
00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:55,835
No, no, no, no, we can't freak out.
Don't freak out.
640
00:29:56,252 --> 00:29:57,170
We'll hike down.
641
00:29:57,545 --> 00:30:01,466
We'll... We'll find someone with ice
or a phone along the way.
642
00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:02,967
And worst case,
643
00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:06,763
we'll be back in the parking lot
in, like, six or seven hours.
644
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,765
This is gonna work.
645
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,186
Yeah, okay, Becky's right.
Let's do this.
646
00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:15,021
This is gonna work.
That's a good plan.
647
00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:19,234
Okay, let's leave our shit.
We'll move faster.
648
00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,277
-Okay. It's gonna be a long way.
-Okay, let's go.
649
00:30:21,694 --> 00:30:22,529
[Sarah] Okay.
650
00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:29,327
[man, echoing] Hey, stay with us.
Don't head for the light!
651
00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:30,537
Hang in there, buddy.
652
00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:33,206
We got a male. Severed penis.
Cut clean to the base.
653
00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:35,291
-[woman] Oh, shit.
-[man] What?
654
00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:38,127
[woman] There's no penis.
It's just two cans of Flittson.
655
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:39,295
My dick isn't in there?
656
00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:42,715
Just cans. There's literally no penis.
It's just two cans of beer.
657
00:30:43,007 --> 00:30:47,178
[echoing] You guys, where's my dick?
658
00:30:52,058 --> 00:30:53,726
[Sean] I don't think this is a good plan.
659
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:57,063
I told Becky it was. We've been hiking
for over an hour, and there's no one.
660
00:30:57,146 --> 00:31:00,692
[Donnie] Of course it's not a good plan.
There are no good plans in this situation.
661
00:31:00,775 --> 00:31:02,235
Look, um... [sighs]
662
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,444
-Dude.
-What?
663
00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,572
-Uh, he texted her.
-Who texted her?
664
00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:07,031
-Chad.
-What?
665
00:31:07,156 --> 00:31:09,033
When I was calling 911
from Becky's phone,
666
00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:10,451
-[groans]
-Chad texted,
667
00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:11,828
and said he wants
to get back together.
668
00:31:11,911 --> 00:31:14,122
-Rent cast party, man.
-Yeah, I, um...
669
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,583
Oh, man, I think I fucked up.
670
00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,252
I, like,
I think I texted him back as her.
671
00:31:20,086 --> 00:31:22,255
[Donnie] Whoa. That is epic.
What did you say?
672
00:31:22,338 --> 00:31:25,216
I said, "Fuck you,"
and then I called him a dirty taint.
673
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,718
-[laughs]
-Guys! Guys?
674
00:31:27,218 --> 00:31:29,095
We're gonna stop and pee really quick.
675
00:31:29,178 --> 00:31:31,848
Ginger Pablo Escobar,
please keep your eyes downhill.
676
00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:33,975
[Donnie] Ha! Hope you pee on your shoes.
677
00:31:34,642 --> 00:31:35,727
People are noticing.
678
00:31:35,810 --> 00:31:37,687
It still looks like you blew
Chester Cheetah.
679
00:31:37,770 --> 00:31:39,272
-Oh, shit!
-What?
680
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,399
-Is Donnie coming to perv on me?
-[Becky] No.
681
00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:42,734
Hey, Sean!
682
00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:46,070
Sean, there's a ranger lookout station.
They might have ice.
683
00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:47,906
Hey, that's good.
684
00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:49,407
That's awesome. Let's go.
685
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,910
-♪ I'm gonna win for you ♪
-Sorry.
686
00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:55,121
-♪ Like I know you want me to do ♪
-Over there. Come on.
687
00:31:55,204 --> 00:31:56,623
-♪ Hey! ♪
-Let's go!
688
00:31:57,206 --> 00:31:58,291
Let's go!
689
00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:00,710
[Sean] Hello?
690
00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:03,296
-Hello, anybody?
-[Donnie] Hello?
691
00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:05,715
-Hello?
-Hello?
692
00:32:06,215 --> 00:32:08,593
We need some help! It's an emergency!
693
00:32:08,676 --> 00:32:09,844
-Excuse me?
-Hello?
694
00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,220
[Becky and Donnie] Hello?
695
00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,347
Is anybody home?
696
00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,307
Seems like we have to break into
this bitch.
697
00:32:14,390 --> 00:32:15,808
What? We're not doing that.
698
00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,560
I don't know.
This is government property.
699
00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:18,853
I feel like it would be...
700
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,104
a bad idea.
701
00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,065
Damn.
702
00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,984
But, yeah, you know,
this is a time-sensitive case
703
00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:26,819
so it's a good call. It's a good call.
704
00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:35,370
-[all sigh]
-[Donnie] Mm, it's empty.
705
00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:36,579
[Sarah] Great.
706
00:32:39,999 --> 00:32:42,251
[Donnie] Please have ice. Please have ice.
707
00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:44,420
-[flies buzzing]
-[Becky] Oh, dude. No, close that.
708
00:32:45,421 --> 00:32:46,714
[coughs]
709
00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:49,425
Well maybe there's still a phone
or radio or something, right?
710
00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:50,802
-Yeah? Yeah.
-Yeah. Okay.
711
00:32:56,349 --> 00:32:58,893
-[rattling]
-[screaming] Oh, my God!
712
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,520
Oh, my God!
713
00:33:00,603 --> 00:33:01,562
[all gasp]
714
00:33:05,274 --> 00:33:06,818
-[Sarah] Oh!
-[Becky] No, no, no.
715
00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:08,903
I think the rattlesnake bit the dick.
716
00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,030
[Donnie] Oh, my God. A snake bit the dick?
717
00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:12,865
We have to get the venom out somehow.
718
00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:14,826
-Yeah. How do we do that?
-We have to get it out.
719
00:33:14,909 --> 00:33:17,495
Maybe if we shake it a lot,
the venom will pour out.
720
00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:18,871
No, we have to, uh...
721
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,543
Someone has to suck it out.
722
00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:31,092
It seems only fair that the person who's
had that dick in their mouth do it.
723
00:33:33,594 --> 00:33:35,555
Donnie,
what the fuck are you talking about?
724
00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:39,183
-I'm obviously referring to Becky.
-What?
725
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:43,104
You guys shared a womb together,
so obviously at some point in the dark...
726
00:33:43,229 --> 00:33:45,481
-that dick went in your mouth.
-This idiot.
727
00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,859
-Are you fucking kidding me?
-Fumbling around.
728
00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:51,571
Donnie, I didn't suck his fetus penis
when I was in the womb.
729
00:33:51,654 --> 00:33:53,031
I am his sister.
730
00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:55,074
I am obviously the last person
to suck the dick.
731
00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:57,744
-You're sucking before I do.
-[Donnie] I'm sucking... [laughs]
732
00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,829
I am not sucking my brother's dick.
End of story.
733
00:33:59,912 --> 00:34:02,331
The women should suck the dick.
We don't even know how.
734
00:34:02,415 --> 00:34:06,127
It's not even the same kind of sucking,
you stupid idiot.
735
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,756
-[Donnie] I am not going to do it!
-[Sarah] You should. This is your fault.
736
00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:11,883
-[Becky] Yeah, you should.
-I'll do it.
737
00:34:12,258 --> 00:34:16,471
I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll suck it!
I will suck the dick.
738
00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:19,724
I lost the phones.
739
00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:22,018
I gave them the wrong cooler.
740
00:34:24,103 --> 00:34:25,188
I'll suck the penis.
741
00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:28,775
-It's really cool of you. Thanks.
-Yeah.
742
00:34:29,108 --> 00:34:29,984
Just, uh...
743
00:34:31,444 --> 00:34:32,779
I'd like to do it...
744
00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:34,947
alone.
745
00:34:35,531 --> 00:34:36,574
Yeah, you got it.
746
00:34:36,657 --> 00:34:38,367
-I'll tell your story.
-Okay.
747
00:34:38,993 --> 00:34:39,952
You're a hero.
748
00:34:40,036 --> 00:34:40,912
Yup.
749
00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:49,003
You da man.
750
00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:18,157
[gulps]
751
00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:19,909
Thanks.
752
00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:23,037
[clears throat]
753
00:35:24,580 --> 00:35:26,999
Man, we came all the way up here
for nothing.
754
00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:31,587
I really fucked this up. I'm sorry.
755
00:35:32,004 --> 00:35:34,924
What now? We're just gonna run down
this mountain and pray that J-Tron's D
756
00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:36,509
doesn't fester before the car?
757
00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:39,804
We've only been hiking for three hours.
758
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,515
That means we still have nine hours.
759
00:35:42,598 --> 00:35:45,935
-That was before it got bit by a snake.
-[high-pitched whining]
760
00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:48,688
You guys hear that?
761
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,066
Dude, look!
762
00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:53,860
[Becky] A drone?
763
00:35:54,735 --> 00:35:56,154
Wait a minute. Wait.
764
00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:57,405
If there's a drone,
765
00:35:57,488 --> 00:36:00,449
that means there's a person,
and they probably have a phone.
766
00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:03,703
We should-- We should follow it.
Let's go get Sean.
767
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,747
-Sean! Sean, there's a drone-- Oh!
-[loud sucking]
768
00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:08,040
[all screaming]
769
00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:10,543
-[yelps] Don't look at me!
-Sorry. Sorry.
770
00:36:10,626 --> 00:36:14,422
Uh, it's just-- There's a drone,
so there's people, and we need to go now.
771
00:36:14,505 --> 00:36:16,424
Oh, my God. That's great. Okay. Um...
772
00:36:16,507 --> 00:36:20,303
Just-- Stop looking.
One second. I gotta... [sucks loudly]
773
00:36:20,386 --> 00:36:22,180
I'm getting a lot of venom
out of this thing.
774
00:36:22,263 --> 00:36:24,265
[drone buzzing]
775
00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:28,269
[Donnie] Hey!
776
00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,065
Come here! [pants]
777
00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:35,193
[Sarah] There. Get it.
778
00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:36,861
[Sean] Stop!
779
00:36:37,486 --> 00:36:39,488
[all panting]
780
00:36:40,573 --> 00:36:42,867
-Where'd it go?
-Does anybody see it?
781
00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:46,621
Oh! There it goes.
782
00:36:47,079 --> 00:36:48,039
I got this shit.
783
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:20,154
[inaudible]
784
00:37:22,949 --> 00:37:24,242
[Sarah screams]
785
00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:26,035
-[yelps] Sarah!
-Oh, shit!
786
00:37:26,118 --> 00:37:26,953
Fuck!
787
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:29,872
-Oh, my God! [gasps] Oh!
-Fuck!
788
00:37:30,164 --> 00:37:31,832
I got it! [laughs]
789
00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:35,044
-[Becky] Are you okay?
-[Sarah] Yeah, totally!
790
00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,422
-There are people there. They have a boat.
-[Donnie] Nice!
791
00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:39,757
Watch this.
792
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:43,261
Let's get wet! [screams]
793
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:45,012
-[Sean] Oh, shit.
-[Becky] Oh, my God.
794
00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,767
-[laughing] Holy fuck.
-Whoo!
795
00:37:49,850 --> 00:37:50,768
Yeah!
796
00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:52,812
-That was pretty cool.
-Yeah.
797
00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,022
Yeah. It looks easy.
He made it look easy!
798
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,400
-Yeah. Do-- do you wanna go next?
-Yeah!
799
00:37:57,733 --> 00:37:58,859
Yeah, yeah. No, I'll go.
800
00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:02,280
Hey, I get the feeling
that you maybe don't wanna jump.
801
00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:05,574
So, uh, we can try to find
a way to hike down.
802
00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:08,202
-No, I wanna-- I want to go.
-Okay.
803
00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:09,829
Es geht um die Wurst, ja?
804
00:38:09,912 --> 00:38:11,998
Which means "it's do or die" in German.
805
00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,916
Actually,
the literal German translation is,
806
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,918
"it's all about sausage," which is funny--
807
00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,254
Are you making a dick joke right now?
We, like, gotta go.
808
00:38:18,337 --> 00:38:19,922
Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, okay. Let's do it.
809
00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:21,048
-Let's do it.
-All right.
810
00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:24,302
I'm not gonna take the long way,
I'm gonna take the Sean way, huh?
811
00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:26,095
-Oh, shit!
-[Becky] Oh, my God!
812
00:38:26,178 --> 00:38:28,347
-Fuck! Oh, fuck.
-[Donnie] Oh!
813
00:38:30,516 --> 00:38:33,227
[screaming]
814
00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:35,771
Yeah!
815
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,275
I'm good! I'm good! Whoo!
816
00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:44,447
-[all panting]
-So, the "Sean way" is going for
817
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:47,033
the maximum amount of pain
you can inflict on your body?
818
00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:48,951
No, no.
Honestly, it didn't hurt that much.
819
00:38:49,035 --> 00:38:52,455
It was actually really fun.
I actually-- It was a fun ride.
820
00:38:52,538 --> 00:38:53,998
-[Donnie groans]
-Ooh.
821
00:38:54,081 --> 00:38:55,541
Oh, my God.
822
00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:58,044
Dude, uh, your back is like...
823
00:38:58,836 --> 00:38:59,670
red raw.
824
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,507
-[Sean wails]
-[laughs]
825
00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:05,593
[Sean, groaning] Oh my-- Oh, my God.
826
00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:07,636
-[helicopter blades whirring]
-Oh, fuck me.
827
00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:08,763
You guys, look.
828
00:39:09,388 --> 00:39:10,348
Huh?
829
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:14,685
-[Donnie] Oh! That's so dumb.
-[all mumbling]
830
00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:18,230
They fucking came back.
And we're not there. That's awesome.
831
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:21,275
[screams] Ow!
832
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,820
-Damn it!
-All right, man! Jesus. We're all mad.
833
00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:26,739
No, the wind blew against my back.
834
00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,407
It's okay. I'm fine.
835
00:39:29,116 --> 00:39:30,284
-[screams]
-[laughs]
836
00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,202
What?
837
00:39:31,911 --> 00:39:34,914
You guys, come on. Let's...
Let's just keep going.
838
00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:38,793
-[woman speaking indistinctly over PA]
-[monitor beeping]
839
00:39:40,252 --> 00:39:43,130
-The helicopter went back to the campsite.
-Yes.
840
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,216
-But your friends weren't there.
-No.
841
00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:49,595
So, the doctor's gonna need to operate
before this gets infected.
842
00:39:49,678 --> 00:39:51,263
Okay. No, my friends,
843
00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:53,724
they'll-- they'll get me my penis back.
I know they will.
844
00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:58,062
Okay, I know they will, too.
If they don't, though, you'll be fine.
845
00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:02,525
We can do a full penal reconstruction
using a graft from your forearm or glute.
846
00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,110
The results are fantastic.
847
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:06,195
-Really?
-Absolutely.
848
00:40:06,278 --> 00:40:08,280
In addition to increased self-esteem,
849
00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,658
most patients report
successful ejaculation
850
00:40:10,741 --> 00:40:12,326
in ten percent of sexual encounters.
851
00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:15,246
On a pleasure scale,
we're hitting mid- to high-threes.
852
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:16,539
Is that good?
853
00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:18,290
Those numbers sound bad.
854
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,210
Well, in comparison
with not having a penis,
855
00:40:21,293 --> 00:40:22,795
I think those numbers sound great.
856
00:40:22,878 --> 00:40:25,131
Okay. I will wait for my dick.
857
00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:29,051
I have a strong dick.
I know it'll last days out in the wild.
858
00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:29,969
No.
859
00:40:30,052 --> 00:40:32,847
Everyone thinks their penis is special.
It's not.
860
00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:37,184
Okay? It's like one of these flowers.
Right?
861
00:40:37,726 --> 00:40:41,188
If you remove it from the body,
cut off its flow of blood,
862
00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:45,651
and then eventually,
if left on its own, it will wilt...
863
00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:47,278
and die.
864
00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:55,828
HBO's on Channel 3.
865
00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:02,209
Come on, guys.
866
00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:06,672
I know you're doing whatever it takes
to get here as fast as you can.
867
00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:09,800
[Sean] Hey, Becky!
868
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:14,346
[stammering] Hey, don't beat yourself up
over the helicopter.
869
00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:17,558
I think you're doing great.
I've always thought you were really great.
870
00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:20,811
[Becky] Uh, are you forgetting the time
you totally rejected me?
871
00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:24,064
[Sean] That never happened.
I don't remember that happening.
872
00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:27,276
[Becky] Come on.
Remember the Rent cast party?
873
00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,112
-Kinda made a move.
-I... might remember.
874
00:41:31,071 --> 00:41:33,532
I had a momentary crush on you.
875
00:41:36,243 --> 00:41:38,454
-[Sean] You had a crush on me?
-[Becky] I just thought--
876
00:41:38,537 --> 00:41:40,539
[panting] Sean, emergency bro discussion.
877
00:41:40,623 --> 00:41:42,374
-[Sean] One sec, man.
-911, Sean.
878
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,877
-You better go. Sounds very important.
-Sorry.
879
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,255
Sean, Sean, you are not gonna believe
what I found in the woods.
880
00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:50,883
Wait till you feast your eyes on these.
881
00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:54,220
What are those? Why do you have those?
882
00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:57,097
When Sarah went behind that big bush
to dry off or whatever,
883
00:41:57,181 --> 00:41:58,891
I went after her, 'cause I needed to pee.
884
00:41:58,974 --> 00:42:01,769
Okay, I find those waiting on a rock.
885
00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:03,354
For me.
886
00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:05,022
Knew she came to win me back.
887
00:42:05,105 --> 00:42:09,485
What? Maybe she just didn't want to wear
wet underwear, you psychopath.
888
00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:11,612
That's like serial killer behavior.
889
00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:12,863
Okay, these are a sign.
890
00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:15,991
She wants us to be together.
And you know what, Sean?
891
00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:18,035
I'll tell you the truth.
I'm ready to forgive her.
892
00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:19,411
Forgive her for what?
893
00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,747
Over Christmas break, usual spot,
894
00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:23,165
abandoned church
my grandma used to take me to.
895
00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,543
Before we start hooking up,
I throw around I want a DTR.
896
00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:28,045
-She freaks out.
-DTR?
897
00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:29,547
You said you wanted dick to rim?
898
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:32,424
No. What?
I wanted to "define the relationship."
899
00:42:32,508 --> 00:42:34,969
-What the fuck is dick to rim?
-I don't know. Butt stuff.
900
00:42:35,469 --> 00:42:37,137
What has happened to you in Germany?
901
00:42:38,430 --> 00:42:41,308
Anyway, I tell her I wanna DTR.
902
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:43,686
And she's all like,
"Relationships are bullshit."
903
00:42:43,769 --> 00:42:45,771
Then I feel like an idiot.
I don't know what to do.
904
00:42:45,854 --> 00:42:48,482
So I kick her out of a car...
may or may not have been moving.
905
00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:51,110
-Wow, that's really mean.
-I also told her...
906
00:42:51,193 --> 00:42:52,778
um, that I never liked her.
907
00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:55,364
-[clicks tongue] Wow, man.
-And she was gaining weight.
908
00:42:59,034 --> 00:43:01,245
Sean! [whispering] This is a power play.
909
00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:02,538
She wants me back.
910
00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:04,623
[Sean] Come on, Donnie.
The camp's around this bend.
911
00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:09,003
-[Sarah] Hi! Hello. Hey, bud!
-[Donnie] Hey, buddy.
912
00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:10,588
-[Sean] Hey, there.
-[Becky] Hey, hi.
913
00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,047
-Oh, my God.
-Okay.
914
00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:13,591
-[Donnie] Whoo!
-[Sarah] Hey.
915
00:43:14,091 --> 00:43:15,259
I believe this belongs to you.
916
00:43:15,342 --> 00:43:19,221
And I believe you're the bitch
that fucked it up!
917
00:43:19,305 --> 00:43:20,431
-What now?
-Whoa.
918
00:43:20,514 --> 00:43:22,600
You better have cash to pay for this.
919
00:43:23,058 --> 00:43:25,269
Okay, uh, where are your parents?
920
00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:27,438
My dad went fly-fishing.
921
00:43:27,521 --> 00:43:29,565
What about the boat? Where are the keys?
922
00:43:29,648 --> 00:43:32,067
Because we're in an emergency,
and we need some help.
923
00:43:32,192 --> 00:43:36,488
All right. If I'm gonna give you the keys,
then I wanna see some stuff.
924
00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:39,700
-[laughing] Okay.
-[laughs]
925
00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:42,828
-No. Ugh.
-We are not going to show you our boobs.
926
00:43:42,911 --> 00:43:43,996
Bitch, please!
927
00:43:44,371 --> 00:43:46,290
I'm 11, not five.
928
00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:49,168
-I've seen thousands of titties.
-[chuckles]
929
00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,629
I wanna see you two scissor.
930
00:43:51,712 --> 00:43:52,921
[gasps]
931
00:43:53,005 --> 00:43:54,048
-[Becky] Yeah!
-[Sean] Oh!
932
00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:56,884
-Take that, you little perv. Gross.
-That is inappropriate.
933
00:43:57,259 --> 00:43:59,136
I'm not helping you with shit!
934
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:01,221
Stay the fuck away from me!
935
00:44:02,097 --> 00:44:04,558
-Kid's a monster.
-Jesus Christ.
936
00:44:05,059 --> 00:44:06,477
I kind of love him, though.
937
00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:08,854
Okay, if we're not outta here in,
like, an hour…
938
00:44:08,937 --> 00:44:11,357
-Jeremy will be dickless...
-[Sarah] The rest of his life.
939
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,192
That's decades with no dick.
940
00:44:13,692 --> 00:44:15,277
No. We need that boat.
941
00:44:15,569 --> 00:44:17,488
Fuck this little baby Bieber wannabe.
942
00:44:17,863 --> 00:44:19,198
[Sarah] What are you doing?
943
00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:22,785
Listen here, you little terrorist.
This is my brother's dick.
944
00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:25,537
He's in the hospital right now,
and he needs us.
945
00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:28,999
We need your boat so we can get
to the hospital to reattach it.
946
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:33,087
Listen, kid, when we're around,
dicks get cut and dicks get sucked.
947
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,630
I saw him suck this dick.
948
00:44:34,713 --> 00:44:37,299
I sucked that dick this morning.
Now, give us the keys.
949
00:44:37,383 --> 00:44:39,551
[shrieks]
950
00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:40,928
[Becky] Yes!
951
00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:45,391
[Sean] All right. Tell your dad the boat's
gonna be at the south campground lot.
952
00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:47,476
Jesus, Sean,
that dick really fucked him up.
953
00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:49,645
He hasn't said a word
since you showed him the dick.
954
00:44:49,728 --> 00:44:51,271
What if he never talks again?
955
00:44:53,315 --> 00:44:55,317
-[Sean] Whatever. Fuck this kid.
-[Becky] The worst.
956
00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,652
[Donnie] Piece of shit, anyway.
957
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,490
[man] Hey, buddy.
958
00:45:03,158 --> 00:45:05,411
Son are-- Are you okay?
959
00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:07,621
Dicks get cut.
960
00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,874
Dicks get sucked.
961
00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:15,796
-[Sarah] All right. I got you.
-[Becky] Okay.
962
00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:17,756
Good God. Hey!
963
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,842
-Hey!
-Oh, shit!
964
00:45:19,967 --> 00:45:23,387
-[Donnie] Oh, my God! Go!
-Guys, we gotta go!
965
00:45:23,470 --> 00:45:26,557
-Go! Shit! There's too many keys.
-[Sarah] I'm getting the anchor.
966
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,435
Hello, sir, I can completely explain
what's going on here.
967
00:45:29,518 --> 00:45:31,395
What have you done to my son?
968
00:45:31,478 --> 00:45:33,188
It's a good thing you're--
Okay, fuck this.
969
00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,107
[man] I'll kill all of you perverts!
970
00:45:35,190 --> 00:45:37,818
-[Becky screams]
-[man screams]
971
00:45:37,901 --> 00:45:40,362
-[man grunts]
-[shrieks]
972
00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:42,531
-Hey, he has a bruise. Leave him alone.
-[keys jingle]
973
00:45:42,614 --> 00:45:44,116
[yelps] You're a fucker!
974
00:45:44,199 --> 00:45:46,160
-Hit me again. I fucking dare you!
-[grunts]
975
00:45:46,243 --> 00:45:49,329
-[screams]
-Oh, my God. Ugh. Go.
976
00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:51,206
[Donnie] Let's go! Come on! Move!
977
00:45:51,331 --> 00:45:52,291
[Sarah] I got it!
978
00:45:52,374 --> 00:45:54,001
I'm gonna kill you, son of a bitch.
979
00:45:54,084 --> 00:45:55,169
Back the fuck up!
980
00:45:55,919 --> 00:45:58,005
-[laughs]
-Oh, fuck.
981
00:45:58,088 --> 00:46:00,841
Oh, God. It's slipping, guys!
982
00:46:00,924 --> 00:46:03,886
Shit! He's Cliffhanger-ing!
Oh, hold it, Sean.
983
00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,263
-Fucker!
-[groans]
984
00:46:06,346 --> 00:46:08,432
-[Sarah] Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
-I got it.
985
00:46:08,515 --> 00:46:11,018
[motor whirs]
986
00:46:11,101 --> 00:46:13,771
-[Donnie] Fucker!
-[Sean] Auf Wiedersehen!
987
00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:15,439
[man] Hey! That's my boat!
988
00:46:15,522 --> 00:46:16,982
Come back with my boat!
989
00:46:17,649 --> 00:46:20,319
-[chuckles] Holy shit.
-[Sean] Whoo!
990
00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:22,821
That was insane.
991
00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:26,074
-That guy tried to murder us.
-Yeah. He was crazy.
992
00:46:26,241 --> 00:46:29,787
I mean, in all fairness,
he probably thought we molested his kid.
993
00:46:29,870 --> 00:46:32,539
I shouldn't have said,
"Dicks get cut and dicks get sucked."
994
00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:33,665
That was too much.
995
00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:36,210
Nice going, pinch hit.
996
00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:39,254
[chuckles] Yeah, thanks.
I learned from the best.
997
00:46:41,131 --> 00:46:43,842
When you nailed me in the head
with a beer can.
998
00:46:44,301 --> 00:46:46,804
Oh, yeah. [laughs] That was awesome.
999
00:46:47,262 --> 00:46:48,347
[both laugh]
1000
00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:54,853
By the way, I got your sign and...
message received.
1001
00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,939
-My sign?
-Yeah.
1002
00:46:58,732 --> 00:46:59,566
Look familiar?
1003
00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:05,155
If I'm wearing your underwear,
that means you're not wearing any.
1004
00:47:06,031 --> 00:47:07,533
Those aren't my underwear.
1005
00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:09,993
Oh, my-- Oh, my God.
1006
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,370
Man, that's gross.
1007
00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:13,747
-Okay, don't tell anyone.
-[Sarah chuckles] I--
1008
00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,958
I really appreciate that you tried.
1009
00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,378
I think we're actually gonna make it
to the hospital in time.
1010
00:47:19,461 --> 00:47:21,421
-We're a good team.
-[chuckles] Yeah.
1011
00:47:22,756 --> 00:47:25,759
-["Ruff Ryders' Anthem" playing]
-♪ Stop, drop ♪
1012
00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,845
-Yeah!
-[Donnie] Yeah.
1013
00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:29,763
-Oh, yeah.
-♪ Oh ♪
1014
00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:31,849
Time to cooler it up. Whoo!
1015
00:47:31,932 --> 00:47:33,976
-[all exclaim]
-♪ That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
1016
00:47:34,059 --> 00:47:37,145
-Whoo! Yeah!
-♪ Stop, drop, shut 'em down ♪
1017
00:47:37,229 --> 00:47:39,106
-♪ Open up shop ♪
-[Sean] Whoo!
1018
00:47:39,189 --> 00:47:44,111
♪ Oh, no
That's how Ruff Ryders roll ♪
1019
00:47:44,403 --> 00:47:46,154
[Donnie] Let's find Jeremy
and get some ice.
1020
00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,657
-[Sean] Get that dick to the hospital!
-[Sarah] God! Donnie!
1021
00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:49,616
Oh, my God.
1022
00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:52,119
It's all crumbed. Like a churro.
1023
00:47:52,578 --> 00:47:55,205
-[Becky] Oh, my God. We made it!
-Let's go get some ice.
1024
00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:56,123
Yes!
1025
00:47:57,624 --> 00:47:59,376
♪ Shut 'em down, open up shop ♪
1026
00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,712
-[Becky] Let's go! Let's go!
-[horn honks]
1027
00:48:01,795 --> 00:48:03,797
[monitor beeping]
1028
00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:08,302
I have read the literature,
and I've come to the conclusion
1029
00:48:08,385 --> 00:48:10,804
that I do not fucking want this, okay?
1030
00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,556
-I don't want a butt dick.
-Hey!
1031
00:48:13,181 --> 00:48:16,518
Don't you yell at me. I'm not the one
who got drunk and... Pfft.
1032
00:48:16,602 --> 00:48:19,396
Ob-- Obviously, you don't have a dick.
1033
00:48:19,479 --> 00:48:21,565
No, I don't have a dick!
1034
00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,734
No one in this room has a dick.
1035
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:26,194
Right?
1036
00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:28,864
-Yeah.
-Okay.
1037
00:48:35,996 --> 00:48:37,998
Let's hope they're on their way.
1038
00:48:42,085 --> 00:48:43,670
[Sean] Think we should call
your parents?
1039
00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,422
What's your mom's number?
1040
00:48:46,131 --> 00:48:47,299
Uh, it's... Uh...
1041
00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:50,594
[clicks tongue] I don't know it.
1042
00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:52,763
-At all? No?
-No. Mm-mm.
1043
00:48:52,846 --> 00:48:56,892
I don't know. I just programmed them
into my first phone. I was 11.
1044
00:48:56,975 --> 00:48:59,561
We can maybe check if they left a message
on your phone.
1045
00:48:59,645 --> 00:49:01,396
[Becky]
Don't leave a message, just text me.
1046
00:49:02,397 --> 00:49:04,650
[automated voice]
You have one new message.
1047
00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:07,361
[guy] Fuck you, Becky.
You're the taint.
1048
00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:09,821
-Is that Chad?
-You hear me?
1049
00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,073
-Um...
-You're the real taint.
1050
00:49:11,156 --> 00:49:12,240
I'm glad this is over.
1051
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,159
You deserve to be alone.
1052
00:49:14,451 --> 00:49:18,080
I want you to take that note I wrote you
our four-month anniversary and burn it.
1053
00:49:18,163 --> 00:49:19,748
I don't mean any of that anymore.
1054
00:49:19,831 --> 00:49:20,749
-[banging on phone]
-Ah!
1055
00:49:20,832 --> 00:49:22,876
You made me so mad,
I dropped my vape!
1056
00:49:23,251 --> 00:49:26,672
You owe me a new vape, Becky.
You hurt my feelings, dawg.
1057
00:49:26,755 --> 00:49:27,589
[phone beeps]
1058
00:49:29,591 --> 00:49:31,843
Becky, um,
I have to tell you something.
1059
00:49:32,135 --> 00:49:33,178
When-- Um...
1060
00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:37,516
-I'm really sorry, but...
-What? No, no. It's not your fault.
1061
00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,601
It's just really fucked up
1062
00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:43,105
how someone you thought cared
about you can lie to your face.
1063
00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:46,942
Yeah. Yeah.
1064
00:49:47,567 --> 00:49:49,444
[engine revving]
1065
00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:54,032
[tires squeal]
1066
00:49:55,909 --> 00:49:58,954
Wow. Damn.
Girl, you are a really good driver.
1067
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:00,789
-[chuckles] Thanks.
-God.
1068
00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:03,375
You're like a young Furiosa.
1069
00:50:11,508 --> 00:50:13,135
[tires screech]
1070
00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:16,972
All right, man, we gotta get this dick
on life support.
1071
00:50:17,055 --> 00:50:18,932
-We need bags and ice.
-Oh, my God, dude.
1072
00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:20,726
This looks like a cat shat in a cooler.
1073
00:50:20,809 --> 00:50:22,436
-Oh, shit.
-Ugh.
1074
00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:23,854
Should we... Should we clean it?
1075
00:50:23,937 --> 00:50:26,857
I'm fucked if I know.
What do you even clean a dick with?
1076
00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:28,358
Doxycycline.
1077
00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:30,193
Or a Z-Pak.
1078
00:50:31,737 --> 00:50:34,156
I've had everything in the book.
It works. Trust me.
1079
00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:36,867
Which one of you's is it? You?
1080
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:38,827
You?
1081
00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:40,829
Or is it the ranger?
1082
00:50:40,912 --> 00:50:44,249
Yeah, actually it is for the--
the young, uh, ranger.
1083
00:50:44,332 --> 00:50:46,126
We need stuff to clean his wound.
1084
00:50:46,668 --> 00:50:47,961
A wounded soldier?
1085
00:50:48,503 --> 00:50:50,964
Um... We need to clean his, uh...
1086
00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:57,137
[softly] Penis.
1087
00:50:57,637 --> 00:50:59,806
Three inches. Severed at the base.
1088
00:51:00,932 --> 00:51:02,184
I've seen this before.
1089
00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:03,894
You have?
1090
00:51:03,977 --> 00:51:07,564
It would be my honor and a privilege
if I could do this for you.
1091
00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:11,860
-Let's do it.
-Okay.
1092
00:51:11,943 --> 00:51:13,945
[chuckles softly] Let's do it!
1093
00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:16,239
All right, let's go.
1094
00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:17,783
[Donnie] He's been in this situation.
1095
00:51:17,866 --> 00:51:19,659
If we're gonna trust someone,
it might as well be this guy.
1096
00:51:19,743 --> 00:51:21,453
[classical music playing]
1097
00:51:23,830 --> 00:51:25,082
Whoa, whoopsie.
1098
00:51:29,294 --> 00:51:30,670
[swishes]
1099
00:51:41,890 --> 00:51:43,225
[inhales sharply]
1100
00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,566
His dick's gonna be even better.
1101
00:52:03,411 --> 00:52:04,746
Wow.
1102
00:52:05,705 --> 00:52:07,374
[man] Fresh ice. Good as new.
1103
00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:10,669
Oh, wow.
1104
00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:12,921
That is amazing.
1105
00:52:13,004 --> 00:52:14,214
-[man] Yup.
-[chuckles softly]
1106
00:52:14,297 --> 00:52:16,550
-Thank you.
-My pleasure.
1107
00:52:17,425 --> 00:52:18,426
Good luck, soldiers.
1108
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:19,928
-Hey, yeah.
-[man] Oh, hey.
1109
00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:23,098
If you need anything, this is my card.
1110
00:52:24,474 --> 00:52:27,602
-Let your sergeant know what happened.
-Absolutely. Will do.
1111
00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:29,312
Yeah. What the hell's that?
1112
00:52:30,021 --> 00:52:31,189
It's just my wallet.
1113
00:52:32,649 --> 00:52:35,986
-[Donnie] Ow!
-Crestview High School.
1114
00:52:36,653 --> 00:52:37,737
Junior.
1115
00:52:39,614 --> 00:52:40,866
The hell's going on here?
1116
00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:43,076
[chuckles]
It's just a really old high school ID.
1117
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,202
Says it's from this year.
1118
00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:46,037
-Does it? Mm-hmm.
-[man] Yeah.
1119
00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:47,372
-[Sean] Okay.
-[Donnie] Fuck.
1120
00:52:49,207 --> 00:52:50,250
[man grunts]
1121
00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:53,712
Did you boys lie about being servicemen
so you could buy alcohol?
1122
00:52:53,795 --> 00:52:55,630
[Sean] No. No, absolutely not.
1123
00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:58,633
There is no way we would ever lie. It's...
1124
00:53:02,679 --> 00:53:04,890
Our-- Our friend Jeremy, he lied.
1125
00:53:05,515 --> 00:53:08,476
[yells] You mean,
I just cleaned a civilian dick?
1126
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,062
-I am so, so sorry.
-Stay cool, man.
1127
00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:13,023
-Get the hell over here!
-Fuck.
1128
00:53:13,106 --> 00:53:14,524
-Go, dude! Go!
-Come back here.
1129
00:53:15,984 --> 00:53:16,985
[man grunts]
1130
00:53:17,068 --> 00:53:18,612
[Donnie and Sean screaming]
1131
00:53:18,695 --> 00:53:20,488
[Donnie] We have got to go!
1132
00:53:21,281 --> 00:53:22,240
He looks mad!
1133
00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,159
-[Sean] Go!
-[Becky] Oh, come on. Okay.
1134
00:53:24,534 --> 00:53:26,536
-Here it is! Unlock!
-Unlock the door, Becky.
1135
00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,914
-[Becky] I'm pressing unlock.
-[Sarah] Open the door.
1136
00:53:31,124 --> 00:53:32,125
[both scream]
1137
00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:34,377
Shit! He's got a fucking bow and arrow!
Go!
1138
00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:38,590
The only dicks that I touch
are mine and my husband's.
1139
00:53:39,090 --> 00:53:40,217
[Sean] Go! Shit!
1140
00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:42,928
-Go, go, go, go, go, go!
-[tires squeal]
1141
00:53:43,637 --> 00:53:44,554
Hey!
1142
00:53:44,638 --> 00:53:46,640
[Sarah] Go! Go, go, go, go, go!
1143
00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:48,141
-[Sean] That was crazy.
-[Sarah] God.
1144
00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,143
[panting] Oh, my God. Holy shit.
1145
00:53:50,227 --> 00:53:52,479
[panting] Guys, we made it.
1146
00:53:52,812 --> 00:53:53,688
[screams]
1147
00:53:53,772 --> 00:53:55,565
[all screaming]
1148
00:53:55,649 --> 00:53:57,984
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, my God! Holy shit!
1149
00:53:58,068 --> 00:53:59,027
Fuck you!
1150
00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:01,071
Yeah, fuck you!
1151
00:54:01,154 --> 00:54:03,156
-Holy fuck! Are you okay?
-Ow...
1152
00:54:03,281 --> 00:54:05,575
[stammers] You look okay.
Looks like just the tip went in.
1153
00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:08,161
Come on, Donnie. You love just the tip.
1154
00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,121
Fuck, that's really funny,
but not right now.
1155
00:54:10,205 --> 00:54:11,665
-[Sarah chuckles]
-[groans]
1156
00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:16,294
Did you say Kendall Jenners? With an S?
1157
00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:18,838
We're supposed to meet
for the first time this summer.
1158
00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:21,508
That name is like Catfishing 101.
1159
00:54:21,591 --> 00:54:22,592
Why does everyone say that?
1160
00:54:22,676 --> 00:54:24,636
She likes to text.
She doesn't like talking.
1161
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,263
That is definitely a catfish.
1162
00:54:26,846 --> 00:54:28,974
Okay, look. Anyway, if I'm gonna die,
1163
00:54:30,016 --> 00:54:33,353
[sighs] I need her to know...
that I love her.
1164
00:54:33,436 --> 00:54:36,439
You're not gonna die.
You just won't have a penis.
1165
00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:38,441
I'd rather die than not have my penis.
1166
00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:39,943
We've waited all day.
1167
00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,903
It's been almost 12 hours.
1168
00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:43,738
We haven't heard anything
from your friends.
1169
00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:46,157
-Yeah, but there's still time.
-Nah.
1170
00:54:46,449 --> 00:54:49,160
Look at the flower. Look.
It still has most of its petals.
1171
00:54:49,786 --> 00:54:52,289
What? No. Dude-- The flower...
1172
00:54:52,622 --> 00:54:54,040
that was an example.
1173
00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:57,711
Did you think that that flower
was magically linked to your penis?
1174
00:54:59,671 --> 00:55:01,840
This isn't Beauty and the Beast.
1175
00:55:01,923 --> 00:55:05,719
But me and my friends are fucking idiots.
They're gonna need more time.
1176
00:55:05,802 --> 00:55:07,804
Honestly, it's not looking good.
1177
00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:11,474
So, let's just hope your friends
are arriving right now.
1178
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:14,602
[tires screech]
1179
00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,272
[panting]
1180
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,317
Hi! Hi! We're here for Jeremy Abelar.
1181
00:55:20,817 --> 00:55:23,028
We have a-- a special delivery.
1182
00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:25,238
Uh, one moment. [stammers]
1183
00:55:25,447 --> 00:55:27,324
-Abelar? Abelar.
-[Becky] Abelar. Yes.
1184
00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:28,908
A-B- Oh-- Ooh...
1185
00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:31,161
I just gotta go back here.
1186
00:55:31,244 --> 00:55:33,330
[sighs] That's it.
1187
00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:35,582
Ah! Yep.
1188
00:55:35,915 --> 00:55:37,667
Ah, we don't have a patient
under that name.
1189
00:55:38,084 --> 00:55:41,713
Uh, the helicopter EMT said
they would be bringing him here.
1190
00:55:41,796 --> 00:55:43,506
I don't know what to tell you.
He's not here.
1191
00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:44,924
They sometimes reroute medevacs.
1192
00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:47,218
I'd try Clarkson Memorial.
They have a helipad.
1193
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,143
[echoing] Fu...
1194
00:55:56,728 --> 00:55:58,688
[tires screeching]
1195
00:56:00,106 --> 00:56:01,107
...ck!
1196
00:56:01,232 --> 00:56:03,401
[panting] Let's go.
1197
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:07,364
Go, go, go, go, go!
1198
00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:11,368
Everybody, listen up!
1199
00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:13,703
There is a penis in this cooler!
1200
00:56:13,787 --> 00:56:15,497
Are we in the right place or what?
1201
00:56:15,705 --> 00:56:16,748
Is that the penis?
1202
00:56:16,831 --> 00:56:18,166
-Yes! Yes!
-Thank God. Yes.
1203
00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:20,710
Oh! We didn't think you guys
were gonna make it.
1204
00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:23,546
-The penis is here!
-[nurse grunts]
1205
00:56:23,838 --> 00:56:26,633
Page the anesthesiologist.
I want to get into surgery immediately.
1206
00:56:26,716 --> 00:56:28,551
-[Becky and Sean] Yes!
-[doctor] Hey!
1207
00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:31,805
You guys did good.
1208
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,599
Ooh! Also, it got bit by a snake.
1209
00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:37,977
I sucked it pretty good,
but you should still check for venom.
1210
00:56:41,731 --> 00:56:42,732
[doctor] Prep the OR!
1211
00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:43,900
Goddamn hero.
1212
00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:47,153
-Yes!
-[all giggle, exclaim]
1213
00:56:47,237 --> 00:56:49,531
-[Sean] Yes! Oh, God.
-[Donnie] Ow! Oh, ow!
1214
00:56:49,614 --> 00:56:52,075
-Someone's thumb went in my hole.
-You okay?
1215
00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:03,169
-[sighs]
-You can scoot closer.
1216
00:57:04,129 --> 00:57:05,964
-[chuckles softly]
-You're kind of far away.
1217
00:57:06,047 --> 00:57:07,257
[groans] Yeah.
1218
00:57:07,757 --> 00:57:09,008
[sighs]
1219
00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:14,139
Hey, thank you for your shirt, also,
by the way.
1220
00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:15,557
Oh, yeah, no problem.
1221
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:18,393
-[Sean] It's comfortable. It smells good.
-Looks great on you.
1222
00:57:18,476 --> 00:57:19,310
Thanks.
1223
00:57:27,193 --> 00:57:29,279
Hey, um, you know what? Uh...
1224
00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:34,242
Remember at the Rent cast party?
1225
00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:39,330
-Mm-hmm?
-I actually had a crush on you, too.
1226
00:57:44,711 --> 00:57:45,879
[sighs]
1227
00:57:46,838 --> 00:57:47,839
You-- you did?
1228
00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,258
Yeah.
1229
00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:53,470
Yeah, also momentarily.
1230
00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:55,972
-Um...
-Right.
1231
00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:57,765
Yeah, I mean...
1232
00:57:58,391 --> 00:57:59,476
I don't know.
1233
00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,358
Wow, the Fuck King?
1234
00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:11,154
-[chuckles softly]
-The Fuck-- Are you the Fuck King?
1235
00:58:11,821 --> 00:58:14,073
Uh, no, that's not me.
I'm not the Fuck King.
1236
00:58:14,574 --> 00:58:16,576
-Just a fuck prince.
-I wouldn't even...
1237
00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:18,411
I think I'm more of a jester.
1238
00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:19,662
-You're a fuck jester.
-Yeah.
1239
00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,289
That's-- that's more fun.
1240
00:58:21,789 --> 00:58:24,417
You wanted to use it at the hospital here?
1241
00:58:24,959 --> 00:58:26,336
Well... Um...
1242
00:58:27,378 --> 00:58:28,421
[clicks tongue]
1243
00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:32,717
Jeremy actually gave it to me
to use with you.
1244
00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:36,179
-And I said, "That's crazy."
-That's really weird.
1245
00:58:36,262 --> 00:58:38,681
-[Sean] I'm on the same page. It's weird.
-I'm his sister.
1246
00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:40,099
So it's not really mine.
1247
00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:42,268
-Ew! Ew!
-I know! I know!
1248
00:58:42,977 --> 00:58:44,229
-Why?
-Yeah.
1249
00:58:44,395 --> 00:58:46,481
-The Fuck King? Come on.
-I know. It's weird.
1250
00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:50,276
I mean, it's not like you still
have a crush on me.
1251
00:58:53,696 --> 00:58:54,948
Do you still have a crush on me?
1252
00:58:58,493 --> 00:58:59,661
-[woman] Excuse me.
-Wha--
1253
00:58:59,744 --> 00:59:01,829
Come with me.
The doctor would like to see you.
1254
00:59:01,955 --> 00:59:04,415
-[Becky] Okay, yeah, great. Let's go.
-Yeah, let's go.
1255
00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,335
[Becky] Um... Donnie. Hey.
1256
00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:09,671
The doctor wants to see us. Let's go.
1257
00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:12,006
-Okay.
-Were you just...
1258
00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:13,299
God damn.
1259
00:59:15,843 --> 00:59:17,512
-Sean. Let's go.
-Yeah.
1260
00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:21,558
Yeah. Yeah, I'm on my--
Yeah, I'm on my way.
1261
00:59:23,685 --> 00:59:25,270
-What's your problem?
-[Sean] Nothing.
1262
00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:28,273
I lost something. I can't remember...
1263
00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:29,691
if I...
1264
00:59:30,942 --> 00:59:33,403
-Sean, do you have a boner?
-I don't have a boner.
1265
00:59:33,486 --> 00:59:34,988
Just my back hurts, and...
1266
00:59:35,488 --> 00:59:36,406
So...
1267
00:59:36,781 --> 00:59:40,451
basically every time you touch Sean,
he gets a raging bonie.
1268
00:59:42,328 --> 00:59:44,914
See? I told you. You give him boners.
1269
00:59:44,998 --> 00:59:45,873
[Sean] What?
1270
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:48,251
I don't have a bonie.
1271
00:59:48,585 --> 00:59:49,419
[seat squeaks]
1272
00:59:51,629 --> 00:59:52,589
Did you just fart?
1273
00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:53,673
No, it was the seat.
1274
00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,092
Oh, my God. Do you have the farts
and a boner?
1275
00:59:56,175 --> 01:00:00,555
-I don't have farts or a boner. [scoffs]
-[Sarah] One of those is a lie.
1276
01:00:00,638 --> 01:00:03,933
-Let's... You got it. You got it.
-Do you, buddy.
1277
01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:06,185
-Thank you.
-Shocking, man.
1278
01:00:06,352 --> 01:00:07,186
Thanks.
1279
01:00:09,981 --> 01:00:10,982
[seat squeaks]
1280
01:00:13,067 --> 01:00:14,569
[grunts, inhales sharply]
1281
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,951
Good news. Surgery went perfectly.
1282
01:00:22,035 --> 01:00:23,328
-[sighs]
-Oh, my God.
1283
01:00:23,411 --> 01:00:24,996
Well, not perfectly.
1284
01:00:25,079 --> 01:00:26,873
But as good as we could have hoped.
1285
01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:30,335
We have a successful reattachment,
and your friend's gonna be fine.
1286
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:32,712
What about the snake venom?
1287
01:00:33,087 --> 01:00:34,422
There was no venom in the penis.
1288
01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:36,674
Yeah, man. You sucked that shit out.
1289
01:00:36,758 --> 01:00:38,760
-[both whoop]
-[doctor] No.
1290
01:00:38,843 --> 01:00:41,929
-There was never any venom in the penis.
-Huh?
1291
01:00:42,096 --> 01:00:44,390
It's impossible to suck venom
out of a bite wound.
1292
01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:46,726
It was a defensive bite.
1293
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:48,061
Whatever, man.
1294
01:00:48,144 --> 01:00:50,772
-Don't listen. He doesn't know shit.
-Yeah.
1295
01:00:50,855 --> 01:00:52,398
Right. I'm just a doctor.
1296
01:00:52,940 --> 01:00:56,486
Anyway, your friend whose dick you sucked
for no reason
1297
01:00:56,569 --> 01:00:59,864
is gonna be under a bit longer,
but you can go in and see him.
1298
01:00:59,947 --> 01:01:02,367
Sure he'd love to wake up
to some friendly faces.
1299
01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:04,911
Salty.
1300
01:01:05,828 --> 01:01:08,956
-[sighs]
-[chuckles nervously]
1301
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:09,916
Here we go.
1302
01:01:10,291 --> 01:01:11,167
All right.
1303
01:01:11,584 --> 01:01:12,919
[Becky] Let's do it.
1304
01:01:24,806 --> 01:01:25,932
Who's this?
1305
01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:30,311
Um, hi, excuse me. Nurse.
1306
01:01:30,436 --> 01:01:33,981
The doctor told us the wrong room.
We're looking for Jeremy Abelar.
1307
01:01:34,190 --> 01:01:36,401
Jeremy... Abelar.
1308
01:01:37,402 --> 01:01:40,113
No, we don't have a Jeremy Abelar
in recovery.
1309
01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:43,241
The doctor told us that he transferred
from surgery.
1310
01:01:43,324 --> 01:01:46,119
Let's make this simpler. It's the guy
that got his wiener reattached.
1311
01:01:46,202 --> 01:01:48,579
Yeah. That's him. Reginald Knudson.
1312
01:01:48,955 --> 01:01:51,124
-No, no, no.
-The other person for a severed penis.
1313
01:01:51,207 --> 01:01:52,041
Yeah.
1314
01:01:52,125 --> 01:01:52,959
[chuckles]
1315
01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:57,088
If there was somebody else here
with a severed penis, trust me, I'd know.
1316
01:01:57,171 --> 01:01:58,339
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
1317
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:02,135
If-- if Jeremy's not here, then...
1318
01:02:02,844 --> 01:02:05,138
We gave someone else Jeremy's penis.
1319
01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:06,556
[Sean] What?
1320
01:02:07,598 --> 01:02:08,933
That's our friend's dick?
1321
01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:10,685
That's our friend's dick.
1322
01:02:10,768 --> 01:02:13,396
-That's our friend's dick! Oh, my God.
-That right?
1323
01:02:13,479 --> 01:02:15,565
-What kind of fucking hospital is this?
-Security!
1324
01:02:16,399 --> 01:02:17,650
[groans]
1325
01:02:18,192 --> 01:02:20,236
-You have my friend's penis.
-[nurse grunts]
1326
01:02:20,319 --> 01:02:22,655
[Donnie] Hang on for one second.
It's a simple mistake.
1327
01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,867
It's an honest mistake, I'm sure.
But you guys have the wrong penis, okay?
1328
01:02:25,950 --> 01:02:27,618
You have the wrong penis and...
1329
01:02:28,995 --> 01:02:31,581
[groans] You all saw that!
You're witnesses!
1330
01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:33,166
-Are you okay?
-That's a felony!
1331
01:02:33,249 --> 01:02:36,085
All right, we need to figure out
if there's a head of the hospital
1332
01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:38,379
and explain the situation and see if--
1333
01:02:38,463 --> 01:02:41,090
And what?
They'll just grow him another dick
1334
01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:42,925
with their magic dick-making machine?
1335
01:02:43,259 --> 01:02:44,260
-[sighs]
-[Donnie grunts]
1336
01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:47,680
-I'm not just gonna give up.
-You have no idea where Jeremy is.
1337
01:02:48,347 --> 01:02:49,599
It's pretty obvious we're done.
1338
01:02:49,682 --> 01:02:50,725
That's awesome, Donnie.
1339
01:02:50,808 --> 01:02:53,186
Sarah, I'm sorry.
Can you tell your boyfriend or whatever
1340
01:02:53,269 --> 01:02:55,605
to stop throwing a little baby boy
tantrum right now.
1341
01:02:57,148 --> 01:02:59,942
Maybe I should be more like you.
Right? Manipulate things.
1342
01:03:00,026 --> 01:03:03,654
Make 'em go my way.
Like what you did with the medevac.
1343
01:03:04,030 --> 01:03:06,073
-Shut the fuck up.
-What are you talking about?
1344
01:03:06,199 --> 01:03:09,660
Uh, while your brother was lying there,
maybe about to die, uh...
1345
01:03:10,411 --> 01:03:13,539
Sean was pretending to be you
and texting Chad from your phone.
1346
01:03:14,999 --> 01:03:15,833
[Becky] Sean.
1347
01:03:16,542 --> 01:03:17,877
Sea-- Sean?
1348
01:03:18,586 --> 01:03:19,796
Are you serious?
1349
01:03:20,296 --> 01:03:23,257
-You--
-It was-- It was an accident. I was--
1350
01:03:23,341 --> 01:03:25,968
How is texting my boyfriend
as me an accident?
1351
01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:27,720
You guys weren't even
technically together.
1352
01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:30,389
What? What? What did you say?
What did you say to him?
1353
01:03:31,599 --> 01:03:35,019
I said, "Fuck you. We're done."
And then I called him "dirty taint."
1354
01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:37,480
Wow.
1355
01:03:37,563 --> 01:03:39,565
-Yeah.
-Um, okay.
1356
01:03:39,774 --> 01:03:41,526
The-- the voicemail?
1357
01:03:43,110 --> 01:03:45,196
[sighs] The voicemail he sent me.
1358
01:03:46,447 --> 01:03:49,283
I, um... I need to... I need to go.
[sniffles]
1359
01:03:50,076 --> 01:03:52,829
-I'm sorry. I need to borrow your phone.
-No. What the hell?
1360
01:03:52,912 --> 01:03:54,705
You do not want to fuck with me
right now!
1361
01:03:56,582 --> 01:03:58,960
Just messaging Chad
and telling him to pick me up.
1362
01:03:59,043 --> 01:04:00,378
Becky...
1363
01:04:04,674 --> 01:04:06,217
[Becky] Of course, he's online. Okay.
1364
01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,885
He's coming to pick me up.
1365
01:04:08,302 --> 01:04:09,136
Thank you.
1366
01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:10,847
Sarah, let's go.
1367
01:04:18,312 --> 01:04:21,482
Becky! Becky! [sighs]
1368
01:04:21,566 --> 01:04:22,608
Becky.
1369
01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:26,320
Use the twin connection.
1370
01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:28,447
Find me.
1371
01:04:28,823 --> 01:04:32,243
If you can hear me, please hurry up
and come and save me.
1372
01:04:32,326 --> 01:04:33,286
[clears throat]
1373
01:04:33,369 --> 01:04:34,203
Becky!
1374
01:04:34,287 --> 01:04:36,497
Nope, it's me Darlene. Hello.
1375
01:04:36,622 --> 01:04:38,374
Um, so...
1376
01:04:38,457 --> 01:04:40,418
we got you an operating room.
1377
01:04:40,501 --> 01:04:41,669
I'm telling you, lady.
1378
01:04:42,003 --> 01:04:43,170
My friends are close.
1379
01:04:43,504 --> 01:04:45,882
And I'm telling you, it doesn't matter
if they're close.
1380
01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:50,845
By now, unless your penis somehow got
fresh, oxygenated blood in it,
1381
01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:53,264
it's dead.
1382
01:04:53,598 --> 01:04:57,560
No, no, no, no! Don't. [sobs]
1383
01:04:57,643 --> 01:04:58,644
Oh, my God.
1384
01:04:59,103 --> 01:05:02,815
There's no point in waiting any longer
for trash to arrive.
1385
01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:05,359
[sighs] Okay, fine.
1386
01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:07,778
Let's do the butt-skin dick.
1387
01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:09,906
A graft is no longer an option.
1388
01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:11,532
-What?
-Do you smell that?
1389
01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:14,327
You know we don't serve blue cheese
in the cafeteria, right?
1390
01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:15,494
That-- that is...
1391
01:05:16,245 --> 01:05:17,288
That's your hole.
1392
01:05:17,830 --> 01:05:18,664
I'm sorry.
1393
01:05:19,832 --> 01:05:22,043
The anesthesiologist will be in shortly.
1394
01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:27,924
Wow. So this is really happening.
1395
01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:34,013
I can't believe I shat on your chances
with Becky.
1396
01:05:34,138 --> 01:05:37,725
[sighs] Yeah, it's my own fault.
I'm a fucking idiot.
1397
01:05:38,142 --> 01:05:39,352
Uh, no.
1398
01:05:40,561 --> 01:05:44,565
Also, I'm really sorry I started the rumor
about you going to rehab for bath salts.
1399
01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:46,067
What? That was you?
1400
01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:49,195
I feel like we both now know
I have problems with abandonment.
1401
01:05:49,278 --> 01:05:50,404
-Yep.
-[man] I can't believe
1402
01:05:50,488 --> 01:05:52,156
I found a dick in the sewer.
1403
01:05:52,448 --> 01:05:55,534
Believe it, young'un.
You just got your dick cherry popped.
1404
01:05:55,618 --> 01:05:56,827
Gonna need a new cooler.
1405
01:05:57,703 --> 01:05:58,829
-[man] Fuck.
-[Donnie] Dude.
1406
01:05:58,913 --> 01:06:02,208
-[Sean] Yo. Yo, yo, yo.
-They have the redneck's dick.
1407
01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:03,834
If...
1408
01:06:04,710 --> 01:06:06,295
we can get it to the doctor...
1409
01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:11,509
then the doctor can reattach it
and we can get Jeremy's penis back.
1410
01:06:11,842 --> 01:06:13,469
We haven't been good friends
to each other.
1411
01:06:13,552 --> 01:06:15,846
-I feel like I've been a good friend--
-But...
1412
01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,807
we can be best friends for Jeremy.
1413
01:06:18,724 --> 01:06:19,600
Let's do it.
1414
01:06:27,274 --> 01:06:29,276
-[door shuts]
-[monitor beeping]
1415
01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:32,697
Hey, man.
1416
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,407
Who the hell are you?
1417
01:06:35,324 --> 01:06:37,952
-I said no visitors.
-Uh, I'm really sorry.
1418
01:06:38,369 --> 01:06:40,788
There's something that you should know
about...
1419
01:06:41,747 --> 01:06:42,873
your penis.
1420
01:06:43,207 --> 01:06:45,710
Er, I mean, it's not your penis...
1421
01:06:46,293 --> 01:06:48,170
You have our friend Jeremy's penis.
1422
01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:50,256
What the hell are you talking about?
1423
01:06:50,339 --> 01:06:52,842
-They put our friend's penis on you.
-Yes, they did.
1424
01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:57,054
Like, not like when I was out,
they put your friend's dick on my face--
1425
01:06:57,179 --> 01:07:00,182
I don't know, maybe that happened.
But then they sewed it on you.
1426
01:07:03,352 --> 01:07:06,480
You're gonna see right away
it's our friend Jeremy's penis.
1427
01:07:07,231 --> 01:07:09,608
[gasps] Oh, my God.
1428
01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:11,402
That is not my dick.
1429
01:07:11,485 --> 01:07:13,237
That's not your dick.
It's what I said.
1430
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:15,906
Why? Why? Why is it so ugly?
1431
01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:17,533
-[Sean] Yeah.
-Oh, my God.
1432
01:07:17,867 --> 01:07:20,119
Where did they find this?
A little Navajo boy?
1433
01:07:20,202 --> 01:07:21,454
It's a normal-looking dick.
1434
01:07:21,537 --> 01:07:23,581
Once the swelling goes down,
it's gonna get smaller?
1435
01:07:23,664 --> 01:07:26,876
Are you fucking kidding me?
How am I supposed to work with this?
1436
01:07:27,668 --> 01:07:30,713
Ugh. You two again? Hey!
Am I gonna have to call security?
1437
01:07:30,796 --> 01:07:32,631
Oh, hey, it's Dr. Malpractice.
1438
01:07:32,757 --> 01:07:35,301
Guess what? You sewed the wrong dick
onto the wrong body.
1439
01:07:35,384 --> 01:07:37,762
If you don't want us to fuck
your world up, you listen.
1440
01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:41,140
Two water sanitation workers just came
into the hospital with his dick.
1441
01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,350
-What? My real penis is here?
-Yeah, man.
1442
01:07:43,434 --> 01:07:45,561
[Donnie] What we need you to do
is reattach 'em.
1443
01:07:45,895 --> 01:07:49,774
Guys... [scoffs]
You don't just pop 'em on and off.
1444
01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:51,609
It's a delicate operation.
1445
01:07:52,109 --> 01:07:53,486
It's not a fucking LEGO set.
1446
01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:56,322
That dick is staying on that body.
1447
01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:59,617
Are you trying to tell me
that I'm stuck with this...
1448
01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:02,620
-this thing?
-Hey, man.
1449
01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:03,871
That thing...
1450
01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:05,790
that fucking thing...
1451
01:08:06,624 --> 01:08:09,502
belonged to a goddamn majestic person.
1452
01:08:09,877 --> 01:08:11,337
And you need to respect
1453
01:08:11,420 --> 01:08:14,632
that you got a part of my friend
on you now forever.
1454
01:08:15,424 --> 01:08:17,051
Okay? You got a piece of Jeremy.
1455
01:08:17,510 --> 01:08:18,636
It's a good dick.
1456
01:08:20,596 --> 01:08:22,473
You need to honor that penis.
1457
01:08:22,556 --> 01:08:26,685
And bring it as much joy
as Jeremy brings us
1458
01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:28,687
every time you take it out.
1459
01:08:28,771 --> 01:08:31,273
Because it belonged to a great dude.
1460
01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:32,191
The best.
1461
01:08:33,484 --> 01:08:35,903
You guys seem like
some really good friends.
1462
01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:39,615
I wish I would have listened to my buddies
1463
01:08:39,698 --> 01:08:42,326
when they told me
that Cheryl was a psycho bitch.
1464
01:08:42,701 --> 01:08:44,078
Never would have let her tie me up.
1465
01:08:44,453 --> 01:08:46,413
I thought she just wanted to get freaky.
1466
01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:49,208
-Maybe do some butt stuff.
-That's awesome.
1467
01:08:49,291 --> 01:08:50,501
Anything goes, you know?
1468
01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:54,630
She put on her sexy little
Juicy Cooter slip.
1469
01:08:57,007 --> 01:08:58,592
Got my rod all hard.
1470
01:08:58,676 --> 01:08:59,593
Cool.
1471
01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:02,388
She started licking all up in my ear,
you know.
1472
01:09:03,013 --> 01:09:05,391
Saying sexy sweet nothings and whatnot.
1473
01:09:05,766 --> 01:09:07,768
And she leans in and she whispers...
1474
01:09:09,311 --> 01:09:11,564
"I know about you and my sister."
1475
01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:16,944
Yeah, and then she whips out
a pair of scissors... and bam!
1476
01:09:17,736 --> 01:09:19,822
She snips my dick clean off.
1477
01:09:19,905 --> 01:09:21,574
-Yep.
-And then she flushed it.
1478
01:09:21,866 --> 01:09:24,493
-[gags]
-She flushed my pee-pee like a poo-poo.
1479
01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,246
She sounds like one bag of trash.
1480
01:09:27,329 --> 01:09:28,247
[Reginald] Yep.
1481
01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:30,332
You know what the craziest part is?
1482
01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:34,670
I still love her.
1483
01:09:35,379 --> 01:09:36,213
There it is.
1484
01:09:36,797 --> 01:09:39,592
You know, I know it's just
a dirty toilet dick but, doctor...
1485
01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:44,722
I'd like to give these two young men
my old penis.
1486
01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:47,892
-That's awesome.
-You know, that might work.
1487
01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:49,685
Yeah. Because...
1488
01:09:51,061 --> 01:09:54,648
everybody deserves a second chance.
1489
01:09:54,773 --> 01:09:56,734
[woman, crying] Even me?
1490
01:09:58,485 --> 01:09:59,361
Cheryl.
1491
01:10:00,487 --> 01:10:03,240
Oh, baby. I'm sorry, baby.
1492
01:10:03,824 --> 01:10:05,242
Baby, I'm so sorry.
1493
01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:08,204
No, baby, I'm sorry.
I don't know what I was doing.
1494
01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:10,789
I don't know what I was thinking.
1495
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:15,753
I just went in. I-- I grabbed 'em
and I snipped it.
1496
01:10:15,836 --> 01:10:18,839
You got through it real easy, too.
I was surprised.
1497
01:10:18,923 --> 01:10:20,466
Can you ever forgive me?
1498
01:10:20,549 --> 01:10:22,927
If I could suck it back on, I would.
1499
01:10:23,010 --> 01:10:25,512
I know it was the drugs.
I know it was the drugs.
1500
01:10:25,596 --> 01:10:27,223
You know it was the drugs.
1501
01:10:27,306 --> 01:10:28,724
-Baby.
-Yeah?
1502
01:10:28,807 --> 01:10:31,852
-And how about a little kiss?
-[Reginald] Yeah, okay. [pants]
1503
01:10:32,519 --> 01:10:34,521
That feels good.
Little kisses of an angel.
1504
01:10:34,605 --> 01:10:37,399
-Yeah. It's okay.
-Oh, my God.
1505
01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:41,278
-Baby. Oh, I love you so much.
-I love you so much.
1506
01:10:41,362 --> 01:10:42,446
-Let's go.
-Oh, Jesus.
1507
01:10:42,529 --> 01:10:45,532
-[Cheryl] You're my king.
-[Reginald] The scepter has been repaired.
1508
01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:47,826
[Cheryl] When's little Reggie
gonna be ready for me to...
1509
01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:50,037
Hey, guys! Guys, guys! Look...
1510
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,624
I think they can attach Reginald's penis
to your friend.
1511
01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:57,419
Okay? It's in the cold storage.
One floor up, end of the hall.
1512
01:10:57,920 --> 01:10:59,004
Take my key card.
1513
01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:01,882
-Why aren't you coming?
-"Why aren't you coming?"
1514
01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:05,052
How about I don't want to get sued?
If they ask, I'll tell them you stole it.
1515
01:11:05,135 --> 01:11:07,429
Wow. That's so great of you.
You're so nice.
1516
01:11:07,513 --> 01:11:09,306
-[groans]
-[Donnie] Oh!
1517
01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:10,224
Oh, Scheiße!
1518
01:11:10,307 --> 01:11:11,809
What the fuck did you do that for?
1519
01:11:11,892 --> 01:11:14,561
So they believe we stole the key card.
I don't know.
1520
01:11:14,645 --> 01:11:17,314
I have a super fucking sensitive nose,
you guys.
1521
01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:20,234
-[Cheryl exclaims]
-[Reginald, screaming] Why? Why?
1522
01:11:20,317 --> 01:11:21,986
Oh, my God!
1523
01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,446
-Holy shi--
-Oh, my God!
1524
01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:25,364
She cut it off again!
1525
01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:29,827
I did, 'cause you don't deserve no cock,
you cheating son of a bitch.
1526
01:11:29,910 --> 01:11:32,288
Oh, you fucking crazy ho bag!
1527
01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:34,581
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need that!
-It's my cock!
1528
01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:36,083
It's my dick. [grunts]
1529
01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:40,087
-[laughing, grunting]
-[grunts]
1530
01:11:40,796 --> 01:11:42,339
-[doctor] Jesus!
-Oh!
1531
01:11:42,423 --> 01:11:44,466
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna cut it up
1532
01:11:44,550 --> 01:11:46,719
like a little three-year-old's lunch.
1533
01:11:46,802 --> 01:11:49,847
-She will do it. Trust me.
-[Cheryl] I'll do it. I'm crazy!
1534
01:11:49,930 --> 01:11:51,598
-[hisses]
-[Sean] Oh! You're crazy, lady!
1535
01:11:52,725 --> 01:11:53,851
[Cheryl grunts, yelps]
1536
01:11:53,934 --> 01:11:55,519
Ow! Where'd she go?
1537
01:11:55,602 --> 01:11:57,646
-[panting] Where is she?
-[screams]
1538
01:11:57,730 --> 01:11:59,023
Oh, my God. [screams]
1539
01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:01,734
-Oh, fuck!
-What the fuck?
1540
01:12:01,817 --> 01:12:05,529
I don't care how many times
you reattach it, Reggie.
1541
01:12:05,904 --> 01:12:08,949
I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna cut it off,
1542
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:12,536
and I'm gonna flush it every time.
1543
01:12:12,619 --> 01:12:14,747
-Don't you dare.
-[Sean] Get it, Donnie! Get it, Donnie!
1544
01:12:14,830 --> 01:12:16,081
[Reginald] She'll do it.
1545
01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:19,501
-[Donnie] Cheryl, give me that.
-[Cheryl screaming]
1546
01:12:19,626 --> 01:12:21,211
-[Donnie groans]
-[groans]
1547
01:12:22,588 --> 01:12:24,006
-[crunches]
-[screams]
1548
01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:26,675
-Oh!
-[Donnie groans]
1549
01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:28,218
[screaming]
1550
01:12:28,302 --> 01:12:30,929
-Blow it down! Blow the dick down.
-[splashing]
1551
01:12:31,013 --> 01:12:32,181
[Donnie gurgling]
1552
01:12:32,681 --> 01:12:33,891
I got you now.
1553
01:12:35,309 --> 01:12:38,479
-Whoa! Whoa! [grunts]
-[yells]
1554
01:12:38,562 --> 01:12:40,272
-Wait a minute, baby!
-What?
1555
01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:41,690
[crying] I love you.
1556
01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:45,903
I love you too, Reggie.
Why do you think I'm doing all this?
1557
01:12:46,111 --> 01:12:47,321
-Security!
-[yells]
1558
01:12:47,571 --> 01:12:48,906
-[grunts]
-[groans]
1559
01:12:48,989 --> 01:12:51,533
-[Cheryl] Mission accomplished, bitch!
-God damn it!
1560
01:12:51,617 --> 01:12:53,118
-[gurgling]
-[Sean] Oh!
1561
01:12:55,913 --> 01:12:58,123
[crying]
It was just supposed to be camping.
1562
01:13:00,667 --> 01:13:02,753
-Oh, fuck.
-I'm gonna pick it up.
1563
01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:06,340
I'm gonna flip it like dog poop. [grunts]
1564
01:13:09,843 --> 01:13:12,846
Well, boys, I guess you get your wish.
You got your friend's dick back.
1565
01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,973
Thanks! Let's go. Come on.
1566
01:13:15,057 --> 01:13:16,308
Good luck, boys!
1567
01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:18,018
Oh, shit.
1568
01:13:18,268 --> 01:13:20,354
-[monitor alarm beeps]
-[sputtering]
1569
01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:22,106
You okay?
1570
01:13:25,734 --> 01:13:28,237
-Oh, hey, it's the girls. It's the girls.
-What?
1571
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:32,074
Hey.
1572
01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:34,243
What's going on?
1573
01:13:34,618 --> 01:13:36,870
We-- we have Jeremy's penis. [chuckles]
1574
01:13:36,954 --> 01:13:38,831
Thought it got sewn on to that other guy.
1575
01:13:39,123 --> 01:13:40,791
-Oh, it-- It did.
-Well, yeah.
1576
01:13:40,874 --> 01:13:42,501
-[car honking]
-[stereo playing]
1577
01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:49,258
'Sup, babe?
1578
01:13:49,341 --> 01:13:50,717
[scoffs] It's fucking Chad.
1579
01:13:59,518 --> 01:14:02,187
Here. Take-- take it. [sighs]
1580
01:14:04,356 --> 01:14:06,358
I know you're done with me,
but the receptionist said
1581
01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:08,444
there are five other hospitals
Jeremy could be in.
1582
01:14:08,527 --> 01:14:12,865
We're gonna drive around and call around
and see if we can find out where he is.
1583
01:14:12,948 --> 01:14:15,367
And if we figure it out before you...
1584
01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:19,538
I will text you. I'll text... Chad.
1585
01:14:20,789 --> 01:14:22,416
As me this time, not as you.
1586
01:14:25,043 --> 01:14:26,170
Do it.
1587
01:14:26,837 --> 01:14:30,215
You know what, I am really sorry
that I sent that text.
1588
01:14:30,382 --> 01:14:32,551
But you deserve to be with somebody
who respects you.
1589
01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,306
Not somebody who cheats on you.
1590
01:14:40,726 --> 01:14:43,270
You're amazing, and I really like you.
1591
01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:44,938
And I've always liked you.
1592
01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:48,692
[stammering] And not...
always... I haven't...
1593
01:14:48,901 --> 01:14:51,320
I don't, like, like you like a lot.
Like a lot, a lot.
1594
01:14:51,403 --> 01:14:53,906
I just think you're cool,
and I think you think I'm cool,
1595
01:14:53,989 --> 01:14:56,867
and that we're cool together.
And it's cool that we...
1596
01:14:56,950 --> 01:14:58,619
have this thing and--
1597
01:14:58,911 --> 01:15:01,371
You know, I am not trying to make...
[stammers]
1598
01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:03,832
[coughing]
1599
01:15:08,086 --> 01:15:10,464
God. Oh, no, no, no, no.
No. No, no, no.
1600
01:15:10,547 --> 01:15:12,758
Don't worry, I put it in a baggie
like dog shit.
1601
01:15:13,217 --> 01:15:14,676
[Becky] It's still pretty gross.
1602
01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,470
-Ugh.
-[coughs] Sorry.
1603
01:15:18,889 --> 01:15:19,765
Ugh.
1604
01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:22,267
[sighs]
1605
01:15:22,768 --> 01:15:25,771
Anyway, I'm really sorry
about everything and...
1606
01:15:27,898 --> 01:15:29,149
I hope that you can forgive me.
1607
01:15:30,067 --> 01:15:32,402
[exhales deeply] Yeah.
1608
01:15:34,029 --> 01:15:36,532
-[sighs]
-[horn honks]
1609
01:15:36,865 --> 01:15:39,326
-Come on down, babe. Let's go.
-[Becky] Great.
1610
01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:40,744
One sec.
1611
01:15:41,787 --> 01:15:43,747
Why the fuck did I message Chad?
1612
01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:46,583
Come on. Let's go.
1613
01:15:47,918 --> 01:15:50,254
-We're going to save Jeremy.
-[Sarah sighs]
1614
01:15:52,881 --> 01:15:54,216
You guys coming or...
1615
01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:57,844
What? So, my speech was good?
1616
01:15:58,262 --> 01:15:59,096
[scoffs] No.
1617
01:15:59,596 --> 01:16:02,266
But, hey,
I think I got what you were trying to say.
1618
01:16:02,599 --> 01:16:06,144
You messed up. You're sorry.
I deserve respect.
1619
01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,729
We like each other.
1620
01:16:08,772 --> 01:16:09,815
Yeah.
1621
01:16:10,148 --> 01:16:11,024
I got it.
1622
01:16:12,442 --> 01:16:15,946
-Cool.
-Let's go get Jeremy his dick back.
1623
01:16:16,029 --> 01:16:18,240
-[both] Yeah!
-Whoo!
1624
01:16:20,075 --> 01:16:22,911
-'Sup, babe?
-Sorry, Chad, we're broken up. Bye.
1625
01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:25,789
-[Donnie] 'Sup, Chad?
-What the fuck? Are you serious?
1626
01:16:25,872 --> 01:16:27,332
I drove all the way out here!
1627
01:16:27,666 --> 01:16:28,917
Your loss, Becky.
1628
01:16:29,001 --> 01:16:32,254
I even got a fake ID
so we could drink margaritas in Cancun.
1629
01:16:33,297 --> 01:16:35,257
-Wait. Holy shit. Stop the car.
-What?
1630
01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:36,883
-[Sarah] What?
-Stop the car. Stop.
1631
01:16:36,967 --> 01:16:38,719
-I know how to find Jeremy.
-How?
1632
01:16:38,844 --> 01:16:41,013
Jeremy bought us booze on the drive
out to the mountains.
1633
01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:42,055
So, what?
1634
01:16:42,139 --> 01:16:45,100
The military ID was the one in his wallet.
His fake!
1635
01:16:45,183 --> 01:16:48,979
Oh! The hospital admitted him
under the name on his fake ID.
1636
01:16:49,062 --> 01:16:52,232
-Jack motherfucking Jessop!
-[all laughing]
1637
01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:53,483
What the fuck?
1638
01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:55,193
-[Donnie] Holy shit.
-I'm calling it in.
1639
01:16:55,277 --> 01:16:58,196
-Which hospital? You said there were five.
-East General. The first place.
1640
01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:01,199
-[phone ringing]
-East General Hospital?
1641
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:05,579
Hi, can you connect us to Jack Jessop,
please?
1642
01:17:05,704 --> 01:17:06,622
One moment.
1643
01:17:08,081 --> 01:17:10,250
[keyboard clacking over phone]
1644
01:17:13,295 --> 01:17:14,755
[nurse] And connecting you now.
1645
01:17:14,838 --> 01:17:17,215
-Yes.
-Yes! No, yes!
1646
01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:19,801
[all laughing]
1647
01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,136
[man] Just relax.
1648
01:17:22,179 --> 01:17:23,639
And count back from 100.
1649
01:17:23,722 --> 01:17:25,974
We'll be back shortly to take you
into the OR.
1650
01:17:27,559 --> 01:17:28,810
[phone ringing]
1651
01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:33,190
[grunts softly]
1652
01:17:34,733 --> 01:17:37,194
-Hello?
-Jeremy!
1653
01:17:37,277 --> 01:17:38,153
Jeremy!
1654
01:17:38,236 --> 01:17:40,781
Becky, where are you guys?
They're trying to sew up my nub.
1655
01:17:40,864 --> 01:17:43,617
No, no, no! Tell them no.
We're gonna be there soon, okay?
1656
01:17:43,700 --> 01:17:45,202
Please tell me you have my pee-pee.
1657
01:17:45,285 --> 01:17:46,411
We have it!
1658
01:17:46,495 --> 01:17:49,206
-Yes.
-Please, I just want my pee-pee back.
1659
01:17:49,289 --> 01:17:52,042
-Stop calling it your pee-pee.
-The doctor, Becky.
1660
01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:54,544
He said it's too late.
1661
01:17:55,045 --> 01:17:58,465
They pumped me with a lot of drugs,
and now they're taking me to surgery.
1662
01:17:58,548 --> 01:18:00,550
-Ooh, no, no, no, no, no.
-No, no, no, no, no.
1663
01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:01,635
Don't. Hold off.
1664
01:18:01,718 --> 01:18:04,513
-Nurse. Nurse.
-We're gonna be there really soon.
1665
01:18:04,596 --> 01:18:07,349
-Do not let them take you into surgery.
-Hi, Grandpa.
1666
01:18:08,016 --> 01:18:09,226
[busy signal beeps]
1667
01:18:09,309 --> 01:18:10,811
-Oh, shit.
-[Sean] We gotta go.
1668
01:18:11,478 --> 01:18:13,313
-Yeah, we gotta.
-We gotta go. We gotta go.
1669
01:18:16,274 --> 01:18:20,696
[man] Oh! He is out.
Let's get him into surgery.
1670
01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,532
Say night-night to The Danish Girl.
1671
01:18:29,996 --> 01:18:31,164
[brakes screech]
1672
01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:32,624
[Sean] Let's go!
1673
01:18:34,167 --> 01:18:35,043
Come on!
1674
01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:37,129
[choir sings "Oops, I Did It Again"]
1675
01:18:40,215 --> 01:18:44,136
♪ Oops, I did it again ♪
1676
01:18:44,219 --> 01:18:49,558
♪ I played with your heart
Got lost in the game ♪
1677
01:18:49,891 --> 01:18:51,643
♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪
1678
01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:55,105
♪ Oops, you think I'm in love ♪
1679
01:18:55,647 --> 01:18:59,985
♪ That I'm sent from above ♪
1680
01:19:00,068 --> 01:19:03,280
♪ I'm not that innocent ♪
1681
01:19:05,282 --> 01:19:08,994
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1682
01:19:09,077 --> 01:19:10,370
No!
1683
01:19:10,495 --> 01:19:14,833
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1684
01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:18,295
♪ I think I did it again ♪
1685
01:19:18,879 --> 01:19:21,423
♪ I made you believe ♪
1686
01:19:21,506 --> 01:19:24,092
♪ We're more than just friends ♪
1687
01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:29,681
♪ Oh, baby
It might seem like a crush ♪
1688
01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:31,558
♪ But that doesn't mean ♪
1689
01:19:31,641 --> 01:19:35,645
-[man] Hey, stop those kids!
-♪ That I'm serious ♪
1690
01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:41,067
-♪ 'Cause to lose all my senses ♪
-[shrieks]
1691
01:19:41,151 --> 01:19:44,905
♪ That is just so typically me ♪
1692
01:19:45,572 --> 01:19:46,990
♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪
1693
01:19:47,073 --> 01:19:50,911
-♪ Oops, I did it again ♪
-[distorted] Crash the boards!
1694
01:19:50,994 --> 01:19:53,121
-[groans]
-♪ I played with your heart ♪
1695
01:19:53,580 --> 01:19:56,041
♪ Got lost in the game ♪
1696
01:19:56,124 --> 01:19:57,751
♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪
1697
01:19:57,834 --> 01:20:00,712
♪ Oops, you think I'm in love ♪
1698
01:20:00,796 --> 01:20:01,838
Yes!
1699
01:20:01,922 --> 01:20:05,383
♪ Got sent from above ♪
1700
01:20:05,467 --> 01:20:08,637
♪ I'm not that innocent ♪
1701
01:20:09,095 --> 01:20:11,097
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1702
01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:14,142
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1703
01:20:14,392 --> 01:20:18,522
♪ Yeah, oh! ♪
1704
01:20:18,605 --> 01:20:21,525
♪ I'm not that innocent ♪
1705
01:20:22,359 --> 01:20:28,490
Stop! Stop the surgery! I have the dick!
[panting]
1706
01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:37,082
Oh, shit.
1707
01:20:38,166 --> 01:20:40,043
[monitor beeping]
1708
01:20:40,752 --> 01:20:43,255
Um, excuse me?
1709
01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:48,969
I think this belongs to him.
1710
01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:03,608
Look, I'm really sorry that I freaked out
when you tried to ask what our deal was.
1711
01:21:07,445 --> 01:21:09,781
But if you're still interested,
maybe we could DTR sometime.
1712
01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:10,740
Yes.
1713
01:21:11,783 --> 01:21:13,368
What? [coughs] Yeah. No, yeah.
1714
01:21:13,451 --> 01:21:15,453
-That was a really quick answer.
-What?
1715
01:21:15,537 --> 01:21:16,413
That'd be cool.
1716
01:21:18,248 --> 01:21:20,500
I can't wait, Sarah.
1717
01:21:23,712 --> 01:21:24,629
Me too, Donnie.
1718
01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:30,886
Just to clarify, we're talking
about "dick to rim,"
1719
01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:32,762
not "define the relationship," right?
1720
01:21:36,725 --> 01:21:37,642
I'm kidding.
1721
01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:46,735
[Becky] Well, this is probably
my last moment of freedom.
1722
01:21:46,818 --> 01:21:49,029
As I'll be grounded
for the rest of my life.
1723
01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:51,364
I'm really sorry your parents
are gonna kill you.
1724
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:52,782
Oh, no. It's fine.
1725
01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:56,161
I mean, the rest of this year
is gonna be super boring, anyway.
1726
01:21:56,703 --> 01:21:58,747
Someone I know is going back to Germany.
1727
01:22:07,213 --> 01:22:09,090
-Uh... nope.
-Oh.
1728
01:22:09,424 --> 01:22:11,343
Uh, I'm sorry, I just...
1729
01:22:12,302 --> 01:22:15,513
I just remembered that you had
my brother's dick in your mouth earlier.
1730
01:22:16,681 --> 01:22:18,224
Uh, so maybe...
1731
01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:20,268
maybe we should wait.
1732
01:22:20,852 --> 01:22:22,020
Okay, yeah.
1733
01:22:22,103 --> 01:22:23,021
That makes sense.
1734
01:22:23,104 --> 01:22:25,231
-Totally makes sense. I'm on board.
-Cool.
1735
01:22:26,066 --> 01:22:26,942
[kisses]
1736
01:22:27,692 --> 01:22:30,028
-[chuckles]
-[kisses]
1737
01:22:30,111 --> 01:22:31,529
-Don't.
-Oh.
1738
01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:33,740
-[laughing] Still got dick lips.
-Still... Yeah.
1739
01:22:33,823 --> 01:22:36,076
-[chuckles] Dick mouth.
-Yeah.
1740
01:22:37,577 --> 01:22:39,871
-Can you smell the dick? Okay.
-No. No, no, no.
1741
01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,957
-It's just the image of it. Yeah.
-Right.
1742
01:22:52,884 --> 01:22:54,135
[grunts]
1743
01:22:58,598 --> 01:23:02,102
-Jesus. What do you have in here?
-I got a lot of stuff. I got books.
1744
01:23:02,185 --> 01:23:03,269
Books on what?
1745
01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:06,064
-Books on Germany.
-Don't they have those books in Germany?
1746
01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:09,359
-All right, this is it.
-Yeah.
1747
01:23:10,568 --> 01:23:12,779
Really think your brother's
gonna miss you, bro.
1748
01:23:12,904 --> 01:23:14,698
-Yeah, I know what you mean.
-[Donnie laughs]
1749
01:23:14,781 --> 01:23:16,741
-[moaning on TV]
-Make it stop!
1750
01:23:16,825 --> 01:23:19,119
-Make it stop!
-What the fuck? Seriously? Again?
1751
01:23:19,202 --> 01:23:20,203
-It's so good!
-Stop!
1752
01:23:20,662 --> 01:23:23,164
[Donnie] You have to protect your Wi-Fi,
Mr. Floyd.
1753
01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:25,500
I don't know how!
1754
01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:28,086
-Turn it off, man.
-[horn honks]
1755
01:23:28,628 --> 01:23:30,213
[Sean] What? Is this my ride?
1756
01:23:30,296 --> 01:23:32,173
-What?
-What is this thing?
1757
01:23:35,677 --> 01:23:37,262
-Hey.
-Hey.
1758
01:23:37,971 --> 01:23:39,973
-Ready to go?
-Yeah! Oh, yeah.
1759
01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,725
Sean, good luck finishing rehab.
1760
01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:43,893
-Ha!
-Thank you.
1761
01:23:43,977 --> 01:23:45,270
[Donnie and Sarah chuckle]
1762
01:23:45,353 --> 01:23:47,355
I know I said I'd drive you
to the airport, just us,
1763
01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:49,357
but someone got out of the hospital early.
1764
01:23:49,441 --> 01:23:51,443
[hip-hop music playing]
1765
01:24:01,578 --> 01:24:02,871
What's up?
1766
01:24:03,329 --> 01:24:04,247
Dude!
1767
01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:05,790
-[laughs] Cool.
-That's so sick.
1768
01:24:05,874 --> 01:24:07,000
What's up, dogs?
1769
01:24:07,083 --> 01:24:09,919
Jeremy insisted that our parents rent him
1770
01:24:10,003 --> 01:24:11,921
-a wheelchair van.
-[imitates engine revving]
1771
01:24:12,005 --> 01:24:15,592
It's like we have a dumb Stephen Hawking
just rascaling around the house.
1772
01:24:15,675 --> 01:24:17,552
-Heh.
-[in robotic voice] I cut my dick off.
1773
01:24:17,635 --> 01:24:20,096
Fucking pimp, right?
I look like Professor X.
1774
01:24:20,263 --> 01:24:21,556
"Scott, you're a chump.
1775
01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:24,434
Logan's been tapping Jean since day one."
[chuckles]
1776
01:24:24,809 --> 01:24:26,019
[chuckles] Oh, yeah.
1777
01:24:26,102 --> 01:24:29,689
Hey, Sean, also, don't tell Kendall
about S-ing my D.
1778
01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,484
She's already pissed she can't be riding
this dragon, you feel?
1779
01:24:32,984 --> 01:24:35,111
Right, yeah, she would be pissed
if she were real.
1780
01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:45,205
Hey, guys. I'm Kendall.
1781
01:24:45,288 --> 01:24:48,416
Jennersss.
1782
01:24:49,250 --> 01:24:52,003
Thanks for making sure Little J
made his way back home.
1783
01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:54,172
-Little J.
-Oh, our pleasure.
1784
01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:57,300
-She calls it Little J? Disgusting.
-[Kendall] I gotta give you two kisses.
1785
01:24:57,383 --> 01:24:59,552
-Okay. Two more kisses, but just two.
-Okay.
1786
01:25:00,804 --> 01:25:03,389
Kendall, I told you just two!
You're gonna rip the stitches.
1787
01:25:03,473 --> 01:25:05,183
I'm sorry, I just love you so much.
1788
01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:06,851
Why did you fuck with the ramp?
1789
01:25:06,976 --> 01:25:09,104
You gotta get back in.
We're going to the airport.
1790
01:25:09,729 --> 01:25:10,772
Fuck me! All right, yeah.
1791
01:25:10,855 --> 01:25:12,440
-Let's get back in the van.
-Come on.
1792
01:25:12,524 --> 01:25:13,817
Nice meeting you guys.
1793
01:25:13,900 --> 01:25:15,652
-Get back in the van.
-[Sean] Let's roll.
1794
01:25:15,735 --> 01:25:17,612
-[Jeremy] Okay.
-You got this. Come on, babe.
1795
01:25:17,695 --> 01:25:21,407
Bye, Jeremy's girlfriend. Hope you enjoy
his Franken-peen when it's healed.
1796
01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:23,368
[chuckles] Franken-peen's funny.
1797
01:25:23,451 --> 01:25:25,328
-Good, right?
-[Kendall] Come on. Keep it up.
1798
01:25:25,411 --> 01:25:26,329
I love you, babe.
1799
01:25:26,496 --> 01:25:29,040
-[Jeremy] I love you too, babe.
-[Kendall] #metoo, babe.
1800
01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:33,711
So, I could drive you to soccer practice
if you wanted.
1801
01:25:34,546 --> 01:25:35,380
Yeah.
1802
01:25:35,880 --> 01:25:38,091
Maybe we can stop by
the church parking lot on the way.
1803
01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:43,012
[exhales] Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Yeah.
Thank you. Is it weird to say thank you?
1804
01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:45,140
-[chuckles] Little bit.
-Yeah, it's strange.
1805
01:25:45,932 --> 01:25:46,808
All right.
1806
01:25:47,308 --> 01:25:48,935
So I wanted to...
1807
01:25:49,310 --> 01:25:50,562
give you something...
1808
01:25:50,645 --> 01:25:54,399
when I dropped you off at the airport,
but now we got these two tagging along.
1809
01:25:54,482 --> 01:25:55,441
Ah, bummer.
1810
01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:59,904
Yeah,
but what I wanted to give you was, um...
1811
01:26:01,364 --> 01:26:02,448
Give you this.
1812
01:26:03,283 --> 01:26:04,492
Oh. [chuckles]
1813
01:26:04,617 --> 01:26:06,077
[both] The Fuck King.
1814
01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:08,538
What is the Fuck King
without his condom crown?
1815
01:26:08,621 --> 01:26:10,540
Wow. Returns.
1816
01:26:10,623 --> 01:26:14,043
-Mm-hmm.
-I don't know... I don't know why I...
1817
01:26:14,127 --> 01:26:15,086
Right, yeah.
1818
01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:22,468
-Oh, my God.
-[huffs]
1819
01:26:23,386 --> 01:26:25,346
[Donnie] You know
we can see you, right?
1820
01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:26,639
[Sarah chuckles]
1821
01:26:26,723 --> 01:26:30,143
Yo, Jeremy, Sean's tonguing your sister
pretty hard right now.
1822
01:26:30,226 --> 01:26:32,854
What? Hold on. I'm missing it.
I'm missing it. Hold up.
1823
01:26:32,937 --> 01:26:34,689
[Donnie] You know he had a dick
in his mouth?
1824
01:26:34,772 --> 01:26:37,150
Yeah, well, in 20 minutes,
I'll have a dick in mine.
1825
01:26:37,233 --> 01:26:39,235
["Bad Ones" playing]
1826
01:26:39,777 --> 01:26:41,946
What? What? Really?
1827
01:26:42,780 --> 01:26:43,656
No.
1828
01:26:44,949 --> 01:26:45,867
Great. Thanks.
1829
01:26:46,576 --> 01:26:48,077
♪ If I was one of the good ones ♪
1830
01:26:48,161 --> 01:26:50,371
-[Jeremy] Yo, can you see them?
-[Kendall] I can't, babe.
1831
01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:51,497
[Jeremy] I gotta get out.
1832
01:26:51,581 --> 01:26:53,875
-[Sarah] Becky!
-[Donnie] Go, Sean. Take it horizontal.
1833
01:26:53,958 --> 01:26:57,212
-[Sarah] Stop making out with him!
-[Jeremy] Okay, I'll just do it myself.
1834
01:26:57,295 --> 01:26:59,005
[Sarah] Oh, my God.
He's gonna get a boner.
1835
01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:00,673
-[ramp buzzes]
-[Donnie] Yeah!
1836
01:27:00,757 --> 01:27:02,258
[Jeremy groans]
1837
01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:03,676
-[Kendall] Babe?
-[Jeremy] Wait.
1838
01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:05,929
-[Sarah] Jeremy!
-[Donnie] Get back in the car.
1839
01:27:06,054 --> 01:27:08,681
-Jeremy, get back in the car.
-[Sarah] You're gonna get dirty.
1840
01:27:08,765 --> 01:27:10,642
[Jeremy] Get it, Becky!
This is her choice.
1841
01:27:10,725 --> 01:27:12,685
[Donnie] Jeremy,
it's not like you can't walk.
1842
01:27:12,769 --> 01:27:15,939
-Your legs are fine.
-[Sarah] What are you doing? Oh, my God!
1843
01:27:16,105 --> 01:27:18,107
[Jeremy] Hips! Use those hips, girl!
1844
01:27:18,191 --> 01:27:21,361
[Sarah] Jeremy, stop being
so fucking weird. It's your sister.
1845
01:27:21,444 --> 01:27:23,738
[Kendall] Oh, my God, babe.
How's Little J?
1846
01:27:24,489 --> 01:27:27,325
-Oh, my God.
-[Jeremy] I'm gonna grab my own ass.
1847
01:27:27,408 --> 01:27:29,535
And then, Becky,
tell me if you feel it, too.
1848
01:27:29,619 --> 01:27:32,914
-[Sarah] There's no twin connection, dude.
-[Jeremy] Oh, here we go.
1849
01:27:32,997 --> 01:27:34,040
[Kendall] It's beautiful.
1850
01:27:34,123 --> 01:27:37,502
[Donnie] I thought it'd be weird
to watch your best friend make out, but...
1851
01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:39,420
I'm getting into it.
1852
01:27:39,796 --> 01:27:43,091
[Jeremy] You guys, this is awesome.
But I think I fucked up my stitches.
1853
01:27:43,174 --> 01:27:45,927
-[Kendall] I told you to be careful.
-[Sarah] Let's cut to the music.
1854
01:27:46,010 --> 01:27:49,180
-["I Miss My Dick" plays]
-♪ I miss my dick, dick, dick ♪
1855
01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:52,684
♪ I miss my dick
I miss my dick, dick, dick, yeah ♪
1856
01:27:52,767 --> 01:27:55,937
♪ Dragon shirt, camping best
Merrell boots, they're the best ♪
1857
01:27:56,020 --> 01:27:59,399
♪ Lauryn Hill swaggin', playin' suckers
Like a game of chess ♪
1858
01:27:59,482 --> 01:28:02,694
♪ Pants sagging, cargo pocket
Packing heat, no Smith & Wes ♪
1859
01:28:02,777 --> 01:28:05,947
♪ Mess with the balisong
Let's take a trip and ride along ♪
1860
01:28:06,030 --> 01:28:09,284
♪ Bags packed, I got the bong
Cheefing on some Tommy Chong ♪
1861
01:28:09,367 --> 01:28:12,662
♪ Oh, my God, what is wrong?
I think I chopped my fucking dong ♪
1862
01:28:12,745 --> 01:28:15,873
♪ Yeah, it's true if you ain't noticed
6'1", two balls with no dick ♪
1863
01:28:15,957 --> 01:28:19,294
♪ What the fuck, I don't deserve this
Chopped my dick, not on purpose ♪
1864
01:28:19,377 --> 01:28:22,338
♪ And Sean is out here nature twerking ♪
1865
01:28:22,422 --> 01:28:25,633
♪ Donnie's drunk and Sarah's mad
Becky's pissed at Mom and Dad ♪
1866
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:29,137
♪ Trying to throw a party
After breaking up with fucking Chad ♪
1867
01:28:29,220 --> 01:28:32,348
♪ Now I'm here with no dick
I pray to God and still no dick ♪
1868
01:28:32,432 --> 01:28:35,226
♪ I ain't got a dick
But it don't mean shit ♪
1869
01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:38,479
♪ I can still smoke weed
I can still get lit ♪
1870
01:28:38,563 --> 01:28:41,733
♪ And if you staring at my crotch
Might as well take a pic ♪
1871
01:28:41,816 --> 01:28:45,194
♪ All the ladies come and flock
'Cause they miss my dick ♪
1872
01:28:45,278 --> 01:28:48,323
♪ I miss my dick
I miss my dick, dick ♪
1873
01:28:48,406 --> 01:28:50,658
♪ I miss my dick, dick ♪
1874
01:28:50,742 --> 01:28:52,994
♪ I miss my dick
I miss my dick ♪
1875
01:28:53,077 --> 01:28:54,829
♪ Dick, dick, yeah ♪
1876
01:28:54,912 --> 01:28:58,416
♪ I miss my dick, dick, dick ♪
1877
01:28:59,042 --> 01:29:02,086
♪ Balls wrapped in rubber bands
Ready to die just like a cramp ♪
1878
01:29:02,170 --> 01:29:05,465
♪ Dead lobster, helicopter
Pick me up, went to the hospital ♪
1879
01:29:05,548 --> 01:29:08,509
♪ Doctor says, "Impossible
I have to sew your Popsicle" ♪
1880
01:29:08,593 --> 01:29:11,679
♪ Life is full of obstacles
But this shit can't be possible ♪
1881
01:29:11,763 --> 01:29:14,932
♪ Like the way I lost my dick
Doctor says too late, can't fix ♪
1882
01:29:15,016 --> 01:29:18,144
♪ Tell me, how could it be like this?
Yo, dog, think of something quick ♪
1883
01:29:18,227 --> 01:29:21,898
♪ Tell me how am I gonna fuck my bitch
How am I gonna live life without my dick ♪
1884
01:29:21,981 --> 01:29:24,525
♪ Can I get a boner? Organ donors?
Put me on a wait list ♪
1885
01:29:24,609 --> 01:29:26,694
♪ Doc says face it
I tried to tell you once ♪
1886
01:29:26,778 --> 01:29:28,821
♪ I don't wanna tell you twice ♪
1887
01:29:28,905 --> 01:29:30,448
♪ Major case of blue balls cooking ♪
1888
01:29:30,531 --> 01:29:33,701
♪ I'll be cumming rice
By the time I get it back ♪
1889
01:29:33,785 --> 01:29:35,411
♪ Too late now, it's in his hands ♪
1890
01:29:35,495 --> 01:29:38,748
♪ Homies punked a redneck
They said, "Nah, boy, you getting jack" ♪
1891
01:29:38,831 --> 01:29:41,626
♪ I ain't got a dick
But it don't mean shit ♪
1892
01:29:41,709 --> 01:29:44,921
♪ I can still smoke weed
I can still get lit ♪
1893
01:29:45,004 --> 01:29:48,174
♪ And if you staring at my crotch
Might as well take a pic ♪
1894
01:29:48,257 --> 01:29:51,386
♪ All the ladies come and flock
'Cause they miss my dick ♪
1895
01:29:51,469 --> 01:29:52,470
♪ I miss my dick ♪
1896
01:29:52,553 --> 01:29:56,182
-I miss my dick. I wish it was here.
-♪ I miss my dick ♪
1897
01:29:56,265 --> 01:29:59,811
-I dunno, I might... grow a beard,
-♪ I miss my dick ♪
1898
01:29:59,894 --> 01:30:04,107
-I might start playing World of Warcraft.
-♪ I miss my dick ♪
1899
01:30:09,695 --> 01:30:12,156
There's some trail mix
in my teeth right now.
137547
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