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♪
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♪
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♪
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BOIMLER:
Ensign Boimler, personal log,
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stardate 57601.3.
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TheCerritos is in orbit
around Mixtus III to assist
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in a controlled demolition
of an unstable moon.
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We're providing support
to theVancouver,
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aParliament-class ship
which focuses
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on complex, large-scale
engineering projects.
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Welcome, Captain. Take it in.
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One day you could be in command
of a vessel like the Vancouver.
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Thank you, Captain. This is
truly a humbling experience.
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You're welcome.
[sighs]
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Unfortunately, we might have
to cancel the demolition.
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-What? Why?
-Is the moon too dense?
17
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No, it's more
of a diplomatic issue.
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Diplomatic? Isn't the moon goingto plummet into the planet
19
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-and ignite the atmosphere?
-And, you know, kill everyone?
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I've told them that many times,
but they simply don't care.
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[indistinct arguing]
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-You don't know
what you're talking...
-Of all the moons we pray to,
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that's one
of the most important!
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It controls the tides
for our summer crop.
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My family has lived
on that moon for generations.
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Moons can't plummet.
That's something the government
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-made up to control us.
-[arguing continues]
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Ooh, boy.
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BOIMLER: So the moon's decaying
orbit could cause catastrophic
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blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah-- okay, okay.
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The real news is I get to
have lunch with the coolest,
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smartest officer in Starfleet,
Barbara Brinson,
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who also happens
to be my girlfriend.
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That's right. Ugh!
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We met a month ago
and it's just been magical.
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Ooh, boy, here we go.
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00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:47,036
Log number one million
about Girlfriend Barb.
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00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,864
You know, I am sorry,
but I'm starting to think
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00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,518
that Barb might
not actually exist.
40
00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:52,389
Oh, she's real.
41
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:55,131
She's as real as a hopped-up
Q on Captain Picard Day.
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00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,828
Let me guess, when we meet her,
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it'll weirdly have to be
on the holodeck.
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00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,050
Hey. I don't do that anymore.
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00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:03,357
-Okay?
-Sure you don't, man.
But just so you know,
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00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,533
-I am still gonna try
waving my hand through her.
-Please don't.
47
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,056
-I'm gonna.
-You're gonna hit skin.
48
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:09,101
Well, if I do,it's the cost of doing business.
49
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,627
Ooh. You smell that, Tendi?
50
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Each ship on the fleet
has its own scent.
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00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,153
I think the Cerritossmells like
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00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,894
toasting marshmallows
on a cool night.
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00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,591
[sniffs]
Is that a plasma fire?
54
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,071
Huh? Oh-- uh, uh...
55
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,942
The D53 probably sparked again.
56
00:03:23,986 --> 00:03:25,640
[chuckles]
They're so buggy.
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00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:27,163
Yeah, the whole ship's
kind of falling apart.
58
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,774
Yep, this old girl's
seen a lot of light-years.
59
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,123
You know, Kula told me
the Vancouver
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00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,603
has fluidic processors
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00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,039
that self-replicate
their own silicas.
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00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,432
[gasps]
Nuh-uh!
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00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:36,912
And he said they had
tritanium hull brackets.
64
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:39,567
-And get this: T88s.
-That can't be right.
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00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,046
-T88s aren't even out yet.
-I know.
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00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,440
It's a starship, not heaven.
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00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:46,443
I can't believe it.
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This is the greatest ship
I've ever seen.
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00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:51,448
Are you kidding me?
This is amazing.
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00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:54,799
Uh, guys? It's basically, like,
the same ship as the Cerritos.
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00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:57,585
-[both laugh]
-Yeah, right.
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00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,108
Ooh, let's go look
at their thermal mesh.
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00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,501
I bet it's a double lattice!
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00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:02,024
-Double lattice!
-[whooping, laughing]
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00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,766
[sighs] Where's Barb?
She said she'd meet me here.
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00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,637
Oh, this is too sad. Hey, look.
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00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,770
I can set you up with somebody
great on the Cerritos.
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00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:09,988
There's that
Phylosian in tactical.
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00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,163
She seems like
a nice plant person.
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00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,513
BARB:
[gasps] Brad!
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00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:14,776
[gasps]
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Uh, wha-- Uh, c-computer,
end program.
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00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,129
[both laugh]
84
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,174
I missed you so much.
85
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:23,524
-[both smooching]
-Ugh.
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00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,134
-[groaning]
-Mmm.
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00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:27,528
-We kissed, did you see?
-Hi. Sorry.
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00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:30,531
It's been a long month.
I'm Lieutenant Barbara Brinson.
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00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:32,141
Um, yeah-- I'm, uh,
I'm Beckett Mariner,
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00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,622
-and this is Boimler.
-[laughs]: Yeah, I know.
91
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:36,188
Oh! I can't wait
to show you everything.
92
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:37,581
Come on.
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00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,627
She's a lieutenant?
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00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,498
BARB:
You know, whatever,
it was no big deal.
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00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:42,673
I managed to reverse
the polarity
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00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,109
and reboot the time stream.
97
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:47,112
Good thing, too,
'cause, oof, 1920s Chicago?
98
00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:49,114
-Nobody's washing their hands.
-[laughs]
99
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:51,160
Oh, I love that story, bun-bun.
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00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:53,858
-Mwah, mwah.
-Wow, all that's so amazing.
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00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,991
And now you date Brad.
102
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:58,863
Ugh, I know. I swore
I'd never do long-distance.
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00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,866
But then I met this goofball
on Vendu last month.
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00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:05,696
He radiates a primal confidence.I'm sure you've felt it.
105
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,655
No, I try not to feel
anything around Brad.
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00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,483
-Barbasaurus Rex!
-Jet?
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00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,093
Get up here.We're gonna be working together.
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00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:13,269
-Ah! Whoa. [laughs]
-Uh...
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00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,532
-Really?
-Okay, you can maybe
put her down now.
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00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,273
-Like, anytime.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
111
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,144
Did you hear some purple people
are throwing a tantrum?
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00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,798
Implosion's been postponed.
113
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,497
We got to recalibrate the whole
goddamn containment field.
114
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,020
Oh, Boim-Boim.
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00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,022
Looks like I can't do lunch
on the Cerritos.
116
00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:28,937
Oh, no, it's fine.
It's not like I programmed
117
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,591
a ten-course meal or anything.
118
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:31,940
Hey. See you in Engineering.
119
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:34,290
And I'll try not
to bring it downtown.
120
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,857
-[both laugh]
-Shut up.
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00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,685
-No, you shut up.
-Shut up.
-Huh?
122
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,251
Ow. Ow, no, you shut up. Stop.
123
00:05:39,295 --> 00:05:40,949
Wait, how do you know Jet?
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00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,168
He's, like, the second
coolest person on the Cerritos.
125
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:45,040
Ugh, we dated, like,
a billion years ago.
126
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:47,869
-What?
-But he's nothing compared
to my Bradward.
127
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:51,046
[laughs]: Oh!
Your real name is Bradward?
128
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:53,048
Yeah, I'm a Bradward. There's
Bradleys, there's Bradwards.
129
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:56,225
[inhales deeply]It feels so good to be near you.
130
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:59,097
-BOTH: Mwah!
-[laughs]
131
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,709
Well, I got to hand it to you.
You were right.
132
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:03,232
Barb is great.
133
00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:05,843
A little too great.
134
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,803
Hey. Ron Docent.
Welcome aboard
135
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:09,891
the Vancouver.
136
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,283
She's a beaut, isn't she?
137
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:12,284
-Oh, yeah.
-[panting]
138
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,808
So, the captain,
your captain,
139
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,071
has ordered us to look
for alternatives to implosion.
140
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:17,768
I'm gonna have you two
run diagnostics
141
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,117
on the simulation mainframe.
142
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,293
You both comfortable using T88s?
143
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:22,294
Yes, sir.
So comfortable.
144
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:23,600
Supercomfortable.
145
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,123
-[chuckles]
-Ha. I like that enthusiasm.
146
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,777
Tell you what,
whoever finishes first
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00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:29,084
gets their very own T88.
148
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,607
Wait. You mean, like,
we get to keep them?
149
00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:31,956
Or-or is this, like,
a borrow thing?
150
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,305
Like, we're gonna have
to give them back, right?
151
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:35,743
Nope. I mean keep,
like "you keep it."
152
00:06:35,786 --> 00:06:36,831
-Ah!
-Sorry, sir.
153
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,615
Just checking
if this is a dream.
154
00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:40,051
I've got a bad feeling
about Barb.
155
00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:42,227
I know. I can't believe
she used to date Jet!
156
00:06:42,271 --> 00:06:44,795
That guy's like a Kirk sundae
with Trip Tucker sprinkles.
157
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,188
I'm not messing around.
158
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:47,885
Barb is way, way,
wayout of your league.
159
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:49,365
Not out of Jet's league.
I...
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00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,715
Uh, I-I got to get jacked.
Here we go.
161
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,848
Brad, when
a Starfleet relationship
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00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,327
-seems too good
to be true, then...
-[exhales, grunts]
163
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,938
red alert, man-- it probably is.
164
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:58,374
[panting]You think she's cheating on me?!
165
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,116
No! I think she's a secret alien
who's gonna eat you
166
00:07:01,159 --> 00:07:03,379
or a Romulan spy
or a salt succubus
167
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,685
or an android or a changeling
168
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,382
or one of those sexy people
in rompers
169
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,166
that murders you
just for going on the grass!
170
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,690
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I'm sorry, you're saying
171
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,866
that because Barb is awesome
and hot and dating me
172
00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:12,997
that she's an alien?
173
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,085
That is messed up, Mariner!
174
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,304
That is not cool.
175
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:16,392
This is real, Bradward.
176
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,133
I have seen stuff, man.
177
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:21,789
Like back when I was serving
on the Quito...
178
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:23,660
[laughter]
179
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:25,227
You guys...
180
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,403
Ooh, you hear what happened
on the Enterprise?
181
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,318
Apparently,
Data's got an evil twin brother
182
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,885
who teamed up with the Borg.
183
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,495
-Crazy, right?
-[chuckles]
184
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:35,280
What? Man, it's like a new thingevery week with those guys.
185
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,631
Right. Like, leave some unknown
for the rest of us.
186
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,720
[laughing]
187
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,939
Aw, you guys
are such a great couple.
188
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:42,984
Oh, what can I say?
189
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:44,420
I found the perfect guy.
190
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,161
Look, I'm not perfect, okay?
191
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,076
But I do have
the perfect friends.
192
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,339
Uh, no, Niko,
you are the nicest, smartest,
193
00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:52,123
handsomest guy on this ship.
194
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,255
I mean, it's either that
195
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:54,952
or you're
a Harvongian shape-changer.
196
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,171
-[laughing]
-[hissing]
197
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:59,043
I mean, you're too handsome.
[laughs]
198
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,697
-[snarling]
-Niko?
199
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:03,265
-[shouts]
-[groaning]
200
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:04,353
[screeching]
201
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:05,441
-[screams]
-No!
202
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,139
Shape-changer!
203
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:09,140
Angie!
204
00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:10,838
No...!
205
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:13,188
I'm not gonna sit around
and let a face get melted.
206
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:14,319
Not again.
207
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:15,451
You're not leaving my sight,
mister.
208
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,974
Every minute
Barb spends with Jet
209
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,236
puts me closer to losing her.
210
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,411
I got to do something.
211
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:22,197
And so do I.
212
00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:29,944
[overlapping arguing]
213
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:32,207
Okay, listen up!
We will relocate
214
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,644
three tons of moon dust
for people to worship.
215
00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:37,081
The farmers will have gravitysystems installed for the tides.
216
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,127
And you three,
your ancestral homes
217
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,216
will be relocated
to the sixth moon,
218
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,871
which will now technically
be the fifth anyway.
219
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,655
Does that work for everyone?
220
00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:47,875
-Yeah.
-It works for me.
-Okay.
221
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,354
[indistinct chatter]
222
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:51,400
No, you don't understand.
223
00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,924
This moon blocks pollution
from Mixtus III
224
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,752
from reaching my people
on Mixtus II.
225
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:58,320
Without this moon, we'll perish.
226
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,451
But if we don't destroy it,
227
00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:01,366
the folks on Mixtus III
will perish.
228
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:04,021
I know.
It's an impossible problem.
229
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,980
[sighs]
Well, we're Starfleet.
230
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:08,069
Figuring out impossible problemsis what we do,
231
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:11,115
so let's just keep calm
and, uh, try
232
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,378
-to think of a solution.
-No! If you blow up that moon,
233
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,380
you're murderers!You'll have blood on your hands!
234
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,208
Shut up and let me think!
235
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:20,037
All right, listen up, everybody.
236
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:22,387
Each of our orbital platforms
will maintain
237
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,694
-a tractor spread
to control lunar debris.
-Ha!
238
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:27,044
"Da Brie"?
What is this, a cheese party?
239
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,786
[chuckles]
Hey, babe, it's me. Whoop.
240
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:32,136
Okay, okay. Yep.
241
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,443
-Okay.
-Hey, don't worry, buddy.
I got it.
242
00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,184
All right.
243
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,447
-Thank you, Jet.
-No worries.
244
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:40,492
Uh, Brad, um,
what are you doing here?
245
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:44,366
Oh, you know, just wanted to seemy girlfriend do her thang.
246
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,150
Yeah, we're together.
247
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,196
Uh, anyway,
getting back to the demo...
248
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,284
-[tone blaring]
-Aah!
249
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:50,894
[grunts]
Aah!
250
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:52,417
Whoa, whoa, stop it! Stop it!
251
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,941
Turn it off.
What are you doing?!
252
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,420
Whoopsies! Sorry. New tricorder.
253
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:57,074
Okay, she's not an android,
'cause that tone
254
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,902
would have disrupted
her positronic brain.
255
00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:01,339
Whatever she is, she's organic.
Okay, I have to get a sample.
256
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,950
-Okay, we're gonna...
You're gonna leave now.
-I got to...
257
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,908
Sorry, guys.
Mariner was just leaving.
258
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,128
Actually,
maybe you should go with her.
259
00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:08,433
We've just got a lot to cover.
260
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:11,045
Oh. But I didn't get
to see you do your thang.
261
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,873
So sweet of you to come by.
262
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,439
I'll meet you later
in the mess, okay?
263
00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:15,963
Yeah, yeah, no,
the mission comes first.
264
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,747
-Totally. I'll just, you know...-[Barb and Jet laugh]
265
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,444
-JET: What I'm talking about.
-BARB: Oh.
266
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,317
[chuckles] I hope
we never blow up that moon.
267
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,319
These T88s are amazing.
268
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:25,537
Yeah, they're, like, crazy fast.
269
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,104
How many diagnostics
have you run?
270
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:29,324
15. Oh, when I come back
with this baby,
271
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,326
the guys in Engineering
are gonna flip.
272
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:33,371
♪
273
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,766
[scoffs] Yeah, right. It'sgonna be me who takes this back.
274
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,376
I'm gonna blow their minds
in Medical.
275
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,378
♪
276
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:41,423
RUTHERFORD:
Nope.
277
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,817
-16.
-22.
278
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:44,905
-[grunts]
-[whirs]
279
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,384
[groans]
17. 18.
280
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,821
-19. 20. 21.
-N-N-No!
281
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:48,952
-Hey, don't you use
your implant.
-22.
282
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,171
-That's not fair!
-Ooh, 23!
283
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,303
I got to figure this out.
I got to... Wait!
284
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,915
Okay, okay, okay.
So, Barb's not a Dauphin,
285
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:56,090
but I haven't ruled her out
286
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:57,526
as a surgically altered
Cardassian spy
287
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,919
or a transporter clone or--
288
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,442
bear with me, bear with me--
a Suliban.
289
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:02,139
[chuckling]:
Right? Right? A Suliban?
290
00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:04,315
Mariner, stop it.
Barb's not a Suliban.
291
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:07,405
-But how do you know?
-She's nothing
but a great human lady.
292
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:08,929
You need to stop spinning out
293
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,365
and accept people
for who they are.
294
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,106
Now be quiet. I got to change
everything about me
295
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:14,108
to trick her into thinking
I'm something I'm not.
296
00:11:14,151 --> 00:11:15,892
Computer,
analyze the coolest people
297
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,981
in Earth history
and replicate me an outfit,
298
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:20,418
boys size small.
299
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:22,464
♪
300
00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:26,511
[Tendi and Rutherford grunting]
301
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:29,384
Jet. Ugh,
he thinks he's all that.
302
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:32,343
Well, I can be twice as that.
I can be even thatter.
303
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,997
[hums]
304
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:38,001
Hey, Barb! Get up in here, girl.
305
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:40,134
-[grunts, groans]
-Uh, uh...
306
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,570
How's the view?
307
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,180
-[grunts, panting]
-That was weird.
308
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:45,008
Sup, shippies?
Anyone want to partake
309
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,010
in a little liquid luncherino?
310
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,272
What are you talking about?
311
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,578
Sip it up.
312
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:52,015
Replicator, beer, big, hot.
313
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:54,452
-I mean, cold.
Get... Make it cold.
-BARB: Um,
314
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,541
we're still on duty.
What's gotten into you?
315
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,935
This is the real Boimler, baby.
Guess you didn't know
316
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:01,024
you were dating a dude dog
who loves-- Whoa!
317
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,373
-[all gasp]
-Brad!
318
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:04,071
Oh, oh! Oh, no.
319
00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:05,550
Oh. Mariner, no!
320
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:08,858
Ow! What the [bleep]?
Did you just pull my hair?
321
00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:11,252
Yeah! D... Yeah,
did you just pull her hair?
322
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,993
That is messed up, bro.
Get out of here
323
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:15,038
-before I do
a citizen's court-martial.
-JET: Come on,
324
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:16,561
-Brad, let me give you a hand.
-Don't touch me,
325
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:17,911
-you big hunk hottie.
-Okay,
326
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,390
I don't know
what's going on right now.
327
00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:21,523
First, you come in
looking sexy as hell,
328
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,655
but then you ruin it
by acting all weird.
329
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:26,049
-I have to go back to work.
-I-I'll walk you there.
330
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,008
No! I can walk myself.
331
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,227
Come on, Jet. Walk me.
332
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:33,230
-[sighs]
-Okay, good news.
Maybe bad news.
333
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,972
I am, like, 99.8% sure
she's a reptoid.
334
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,409
Gah, will you just drop it?!
Barb is not anything.
335
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:41,369
-I mean,
other than a great lady.
-She said you looked sexy.
336
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,284
No, there's no way she's human.
That's her tell.
337
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,242
That is a hugetell.
Look, if she's a reptoid,
338
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,548
she's gonna need to find
a male partner.
339
00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:47,679
Jab with her reptoid tail.
340
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:49,377
Implant her reptoid spawn.
Stay close.
341
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,161
You're safe with me.
342
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:54,164
Brad! No! Brad!
343
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:57,254
Sir, the platforms aren't rated
for low altitudes.
344
00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:58,603
They'll have
to be operated manually.
345
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,388
Maybe the captain's
making progress.
346
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:03,130
You're all murderers! No,
you madmen! You'll have blood
347
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:05,697
-on your hands!
-She's doing great.
348
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:08,004
BARB:
There you go, Jet. That's it.
349
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:09,919
-Keep pushing it in.
-[Jet grunts]
350
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:11,268
-JET: Are you sure it'll fit?
-Huh?
351
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:13,270
-BARB: We'll make it fit.
-Aha!
352
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,185
-[all scream]
-You're not...
353
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,621
Sex? I heard sex.
354
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,710
-What?
-[groans]
-[grunting]
355
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:20,016
[both grunt]
356
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,670
You have been a jerko all day,
357
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,585
and now you accuse me
of cheating?
358
00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:25,282
I'm sorry!
I'm sorry. I'm an idiot.
359
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:27,110
I was freaking out
because you're so smart
360
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,634
and pretty and funny, and I'm...I'm just me.
361
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,201
You shouldbe with a guy
like Jet.
362
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,681
That'swhat this
has been about?
363
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:35,031
Bradward,
nothing is happening with Jet.
364
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:38,078
Oh, no, I ruined everything!
No! No, no, no!
365
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,644
It's all dissolving.
It's all dissolving.
366
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:42,299
Look, I fell for you
because you're you.
367
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:46,477
A sweet, nervous,
dainty-hipped nugget.
368
00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:48,262
Let's try to start today over.
369
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,568
Watch out for the tail!
[grunts]
370
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,396
-[all gasp]
-Mariner!
371
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,311
-What's your problem?
-Where's-where's the tail?
372
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:56,139
Reptoids implant
with a barbed tail. They...
373
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,532
[gasps]
Her name is Barb!
374
00:13:57,575 --> 00:14:00,143
Mariner, what the hell?
I told you.
375
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:01,449
I just... I thought...
376
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,711
-I thought there was a tail.
-[combadge chirps]
377
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,017
RANSOM:
Lieutenant Brinson,
378
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,148
report
to Orbital Platform Gamma.
379
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:06,236
We need manual activation.
380
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,324
Right away, Commander.
381
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:09,239
-Hey, come with me?
-Love to.
382
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:10,980
Seems like a good way
to start the day over.
383
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:13,678
With my humangirlfriend!
384
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:16,029
[sighs]
How was I so wrong?
385
00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:18,466
-[groans]
-[crunches]
386
00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:20,337
Huh? Ugh.
387
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,991
Oh, what?
388
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:24,037
Exoskeletal husk?
389
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,734
I wasn't wrong!
Barb's a parasite!
390
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,476
Bradward! Bradward, wait!
391
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:30,173
Bradward! [grunts]
Get out of my way.
392
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,740
-Move! Move, Jennifer.
-[screams]
393
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:33,437
-Bradward! Bradward, wait!-[Tendi and Rutherford grunting]
394
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:35,004
Bradward!
395
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:38,007
-Where's Ron? I want my T88.
-You wouldn't even know what
396
00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:40,227
to do with a T88. Besides,
they're way better for medical.
397
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,011
-What? That's not true.
-You know what
I could do with that?
398
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:43,317
-You know what
I could do with it?
-I could solve problems.
399
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,361
I could figure out
when people are sick.
400
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:45,406
Oh, yeah?
I could solve problems.
401
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:47,321
-I could...
-This is great work.
402
00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,323
And you finished
at the exact same time.
403
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,455
Looks like you're both
joining the Vancouver.
404
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,153
-Congratulations!
-Wait.
405
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:54,806
What do you mean,
joining the Vancouver?
406
00:14:54,850 --> 00:14:57,722
I told you, whoever finished
first would get to keep the T88
407
00:14:57,766 --> 00:15:00,073
and use it here.
On the Vancouver.
408
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:02,466
We-we thought we'd getto take it back to the
Cerritos.
409
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:04,251
Hang tight.I'm gonna write up the transfer.
410
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,731
Don't worry, the admiral used
to be my grandma's neighbor.
411
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:09,038
Quiet guy.
He'll push it right through.
412
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:11,127
[beeping]
413
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:12,476
[panting]
414
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,043
Computer, locate Boimler.
415
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:16,045
Oh, crap, crap, crap, crap.
416
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:18,352
Requesting emergency transport
to Platform Gamma.
417
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,310
Authorization, uh, Mariner 8.
418
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,225
MAN [over combadge]:
Request denied.
Is that a made-up code?
419
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,749
-Who is this?
Clear this channel!
-Aah!
420
00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:27,709
Bradward.
421
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:30,451
Bradward! Bradward, wait!
[grunts]
422
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:33,367
[grunts, panting]
Oh, no.
423
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,456
Oh, no, I got to get
to Bradward. [grunting]
424
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:42,115
Oh, no. Oh, no, Bradward.
425
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:43,507
[panting]
426
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,422
Captain's log.
Long-range sensors
427
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,468
have located a very sexy...
[screams]
428
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,252
-Mariner! Aah!
Stop looking at me!
-Oh, no! Definitely, no!
429
00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:50,819
-Stop looking at me!
-No. No to this and also that.
430
00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:56,433
[screaming]
431
00:15:59,262 --> 00:16:00,785
Get out of here!
Barb'll be back any second.
432
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:02,526
This is me sex time, okay?
433
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:05,138
Look at this! It's the husk
of a neural parasite.
434
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,270
-I don't care! I'm naked.
-You're not listening!
435
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:10,186
Barb is a parasite.She's a-a creature of some sort.
436
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:13,189
-All right. Two for emergency...Hey, give it back!
-[grunts]
437
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:16,149
You'd rather make a fake husk
than admit that you were wrong?
438
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:18,629
Terrible! Shame on you.
439
00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:21,197
It has been a long time
since I've taken a lover,
440
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,156
let alone a lover like Barb.
441
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,461
I am staying here,
442
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:26,289
and I am making love
to my lover.
443
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,291
Oh, please stop saying "lover."
444
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:29,858
COMPUTER:
Warning. Platform approaching
445
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,381
-critical altitude.
-Whoa!
446
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:33,296
-[alarm blaring]
-Boimler!
447
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,083
-[gasps]
-[gasps]
448
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:38,084
BOTH:
Stay away from him!
449
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,737
[both grunt]
450
00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:42,088
The Vancouveris awesome.
451
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:45,091
The fluidic processors,
the tritanium hull brackets,
452
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:46,179
the door whoosh.
453
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:47,658
BOTH:
Whoosh.
454
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,617
Honestly, the Cerritos
might be falling apart,
455
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,140
but that's kind of awesome, too.
456
00:16:51,184 --> 00:16:52,576
It's our job
to keep it together.
457
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,361
Yeah, and the way
that she shakes and creaks
458
00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:55,623
and moans at Warp 7?
459
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:56,798
I bet the Vancouver
doesn't do that.
460
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:57,842
With those inertial dampers?
461
00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,322
[chuckles]
You got to be kidding me.
462
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:00,976
And you know what
the Vancouverdoesn't have?
463
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,109
-All our friends.
-We have to tell Ron
we're staying here.
464
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,588
What if, what if
he gets mad at us?
465
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:07,200
He's a professional.
Professionals don't get pissed.
466
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,811
-What?!
-I'm sorry, but we want
to stay on the Cerritos.
467
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,769
Tough! I already
wrote up the transfer.
468
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,424
As soon as I click this button,
it's going through.
469
00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:16,818
Wait a second, you can't just
transfer us against our will!
470
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,689
[sputters] Watch me.
Do I need to remind you
471
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,430
who my grandma's neighbor was?
472
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,302
I guess I do--
it was the admiral!
473
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,825
-And he's a psycho.
-[grunts]
474
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:25,827
-Hey, you can't do that!
-[grunts]
475
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,829
Don't kick me PADD!
That's an order!
476
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,352
-Aah!
-[grunts]
477
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:30,440
Hey, got it!
478
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:32,486
-[shouts]
-Get back here!
479
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:33,661
Don't kill my people!
480
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,184
You're the Federation!
481
00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,490
You're the good guys!
482
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:38,318
Remember the Prime Directive?
483
00:17:38,361 --> 00:17:40,146
What? That doesn't
even apply here!
484
00:17:40,189 --> 00:17:42,148
Captain, we're
running out of time.
485
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:43,410
The flooding has already
started and the platforms
486
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,194
weren't designed for this.
487
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,502
[both grunting]
488
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,895
I'm not letting you
hurt Boimler!
489
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,680
I'm protecting him!
490
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,812
-From what?
-Hyah!
491
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:58,816
From you! You really think I'd
buy you guys are best friends?
492
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,340
He's mousey, sweet and soft
493
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,255
and you're a badass
space adventurer!
494
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,344
-[grunts]
-I knew there was
something wrong
495
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,867
from the moment I met you.
496
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,825
-Yeah, no, something's
wrong with you.
-[grunts]
497
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:11,177
First, I thought you were
a rogue holodeck character.
498
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,918
Then, because of the way you
were lurking around all day,
499
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:17,183
I thought you were
a Breen infiltrator. [grunts]
500
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,794
What? That wasn't lurking--
that was protecting!
501
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:23,189
Finally I realized
you're probably a parasite!
502
00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:24,364
[both grunt]
503
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:25,669
Bitch, you're the parasite!
504
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:29,369
Exactly what a parasite
would say, parasite!
505
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:30,370
[both panting]
506
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:31,893
[gasps]
507
00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,677
-Give me back my PADD!
-Let's go!
508
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,331
[both grunt]
509
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:38,247
Do not get on that turbolift!
510
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,685
Here's the plan-- I'll reroute
the turbolift controls.
511
00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:43,426
You try to guess his passcode!
512
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:44,949
RON:
Give me back my PADD!
513
00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:47,996
The impact on our environment
would affect both of us!
514
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:49,998
We'd have to move
our whole civilization!
515
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,652
I know! But how can...?
516
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:53,741
Wait, "both"? What do you,
what do you mean "both"?
517
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,830
How many people are
in your civilization?
518
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,789
-Me and my wife.
-There are two [bleep] people
519
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:01,314
on your whole [bleep] planet?!
520
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,403
Well, yes, we're,
uh, we're rich.
521
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:04,926
Implode the moon.
522
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,754
-Yes, Captain.
-You maniacs!
523
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:09,539
We just redid the floors!
524
00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:18,287
[huffs, spits]
525
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:19,375
This isn't over.
526
00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:20,811
You don't know Boimler
like I do.
527
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,248
He will figure you out.
528
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:23,684
I mean, sometimes
it takes him a minute.
529
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,599
Hell, on Sendu IV,
it took him a week to realize
530
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:28,384
he was peeing in their species'
sinks and not their toilets,
531
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,777
but you know what,
he gets there eventually.
532
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,995
Wait, that was him?
533
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,780
He told me that happened
to a friend.
534
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:33,998
Yeah, he wishes.
535
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,304
No, someone came in
to wash their hands,
536
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,263
and just caught him going
right in the sink.
537
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,438
[laughs]
538
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,396
You know what?
On our second date,
539
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,747
he "shook hands"
with a Lortian's egg sac.
540
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:46,359
[laughing]:
Oh, stop!
541
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:47,708
It was so pissed.
542
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:51,581
[both laughing]
543
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,062
Okay, and then, and then
Sqill looked at Boimler
544
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,499
and said, "That's my dorsal."
545
00:19:56,543 --> 00:19:58,284
[both laughing]
546
00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,547
You guys have been
through a lot together.
547
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:03,637
Yeah, I mean he is a dork,
for sure.
548
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,291
But he's mydork.
549
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,075
Well, you're clearly
not a parasite,
550
00:20:07,118 --> 00:20:09,730
or you wouldn't have let him[bleep] in front of the admiral.
551
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:11,558
Uh, well, thanks,
and, you know,
552
00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:13,951
you're not seeming so much like
a parasite, either, by the way.
553
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,693
Hey, if it's gonna make you
feel better, just scan me.
554
00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:17,738
[scanner trilling]
555
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:19,957
You are a human, yep.
556
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:21,481
Man, I mean,
you ever get those feelings
557
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:22,699
like you are just sure
about something?
558
00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:23,831
Like, I was sure
you were a parasite.
559
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:24,875
But you're actually a very nice,
560
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,007
attractive humanwoman.
561
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,966
[scanner blipping]
562
00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:30,316
Uh-oh.
563
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:31,317
[whimpering]
564
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,449
-Aah!
-This isn't me!
565
00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:34,885
I don't wantto stun you.
566
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,887
-Then don't!
-Come on, come on!
567
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,498
Give me back my PADD!
568
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:40,021
Look, just hand me
the phaser-- ow!
569
00:20:40,064 --> 00:20:41,849
Oh, my God,
you made me stun you!
570
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,329
I can't feel my hand!
571
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:45,853
Oh, God, oh, God!
What have I done?
572
00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:47,985
-Ow!
-I got the password--
it was "Riker."
573
00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:49,335
No, no, no, no, no!
Don't read that!
574
00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:50,771
What the heck?
575
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,121
You're transferring yourself
to the Cerritos?
576
00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:54,862
I thought we could swap places.
577
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:56,820
You don't know
what it's like here!
578
00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:58,822
It's so stressful!
It's so epic!
579
00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:00,563
It's all,
"Tow this space station,"
580
00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:02,217
and, "Calibrate
the Dyson sphere!"
581
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,959
"Go back in time and kill theguy that was worse than Hitler!"
582
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:07,091
I just want to be back
on a smaller ship,
583
00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:08,702
doing simpler work.
584
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:11,357
[crying]:
I don't want
to be epic anymore!
585
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,664
Geez, working on
the Vancouverscrews you up.
586
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,405
I'm sorry I phasered you.
587
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:18,886
This is not
Ron Emmanuel Docent, Jr.
588
00:21:18,929 --> 00:21:21,062
Can we just keep this
between us?
589
00:21:21,105 --> 00:21:23,978
You'll delete
the transfer order?
590
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,545
There. Done.
591
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:28,374
And, um, throw in a T88
for each of us.
592
00:21:28,417 --> 00:21:30,376
Hey, now, that I can't do.
593
00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:32,378
Oh, that's cool. It wasn't
like I was using my implant
594
00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:34,771
to record all this as evidence
for your court-martial.
595
00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:36,730
[chuckles]
I was.
596
00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:39,733
Okay, a couple of T88s
coming right up.
597
00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:41,778
[scanner blipping]
598
00:21:47,871 --> 00:21:49,133
Ooh! Ugh!
599
00:21:49,177 --> 00:21:50,961
It's squishy!
Give me a hand!
600
00:21:51,005 --> 00:21:52,659
Oh, my God!
601
00:21:52,702 --> 00:21:55,575
Stop! Don't! Lover! Lover!
602
00:21:55,618 --> 00:21:58,055
Lover! Lover!
Lover! Lover! Lover!
603
00:21:58,099 --> 00:21:59,100
Oh, God.
604
00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:00,710
Aah! What the hell was that?
605
00:22:00,754 --> 00:22:02,886
It was always me, Barb.
606
00:22:02,930 --> 00:22:04,453
I'm going to treat you
to dinner.
607
00:22:04,497 --> 00:22:06,107
Let me out! Let me out!
608
00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:08,022
Hmm, apparently,
this species reproduces
609
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:10,590
by making their host
chemically irresistible
610
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:11,939
to potential mates.
611
00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:13,549
So Boimler must have
picked it up...
612
00:22:13,593 --> 00:22:15,203
Right before he met me, exactly.
613
00:22:15,246 --> 00:22:17,118
Wait. Wait.
614
00:22:17,161 --> 00:22:19,599
So are you saying you only likedme because of the parasite?
615
00:22:19,642 --> 00:22:21,427
Please. I'm a Starfleet officer.
616
00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:23,603
You think I'd be into a guy
just because of his pheromones?
617
00:22:23,646 --> 00:22:26,083
Oh, thank God. I was worriedyou were gonna break up with me.
618
00:22:26,127 --> 00:22:28,521
Yeah, listen, Brad,
you're sweet,
619
00:22:28,564 --> 00:22:31,611
but right now, I need to put
all my energy into my job.
620
00:22:31,654 --> 00:22:33,482
Specifically, studying
this fascinating parasite.
621
00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:35,005
Lover! Lover!
Lover! Lover! Lover!
622
00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,442
-Lover! Lover! Lover! Lover!
-Mwah.
623
00:22:36,485 --> 00:22:37,530
-Lover! Lover! Lover! Lover!
-Aw.
624
00:22:37,573 --> 00:22:39,445
She didbreak up with me.
625
00:22:39,488 --> 00:22:40,837
Hey, you'll find someone
who loves you
626
00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:42,796
without a googa attached
to your skull.
627
00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:44,145
You're just saying that.
628
00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:46,060
No, I'm not.
You're a catch, man.
629
00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:48,584
-You're real.
-I amreal.
630
00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:51,152
Hey, Mare, see you next month
at the M'tari tournament?
631
00:22:51,195 --> 00:22:55,809
Oh, you know it, and I'll try
not to bring it downtown.
632
00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:58,246
-[laughing]
-Oh, shut up.
633
00:22:58,289 --> 00:22:59,987
Wait. You guys made plans?
634
00:23:00,030 --> 00:23:01,467
We bonded
while you were knocked out.
635
00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:03,730
-Over what?
-Nothing. Just girl stuff.
636
00:23:03,773 --> 00:23:05,862
So you shook
a Lortian's egg sack?
637
00:23:05,906 --> 00:23:08,212
Wait, how did...?
Oh. Oh, no! Oh, no!
638
00:23:10,084 --> 00:23:11,651
Aah.
639
00:23:11,694 --> 00:23:13,174
The Cerritosmight be
falling apart,
640
00:23:13,217 --> 00:23:14,871
but it's nice to be back home.
641
00:23:14,915 --> 00:23:18,092
Yeah, I missed that smoky smell.[chuckles]
642
00:23:18,135 --> 00:23:20,486
So, uh, hey, um,
before we left the Vancouver,
643
00:23:20,529 --> 00:23:23,750
I got you something.
644
00:23:23,793 --> 00:23:25,273
[chuckles]
You shouldn't have!
645
00:23:25,316 --> 00:23:26,666
Well, I figured
the Cerritoscould use them
646
00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:28,015
-a lot more than...
-No, no, no.
647
00:23:28,058 --> 00:23:30,496
I mean, look,
I stole a bunch, too.
648
00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:31,975
-[laughs]
-Yup, this...
649
00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:33,760
this is why we're friends.
650
00:23:33,803 --> 00:23:37,024
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
651
00:25:03,937 --> 00:25:05,329
[man imitates weapons firing]
652
00:25:07,331 --> 00:25:08,332
Chirp.
48623
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