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1
00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:07,942
- I think I'm losing my authority.
- You have authority?
2
00:00:07,978 --> 00:00:10,456
I thought I did, but the kids are
starting to answer me back.
3
00:00:10,492 --> 00:00:12,588
Oh, it's a slippery slope.
4
00:00:12,696 --> 00:00:15,741
- Days away from mutiny.
- You wouldn't stand a chance.
5
00:00:15,777 --> 00:00:18,348
There are a lot more of
them than there are of you.
6
00:00:18,384 --> 00:00:19,372
Yeah.
7
00:00:19,408 --> 00:00:22,992
- How many have you got now?
- Ah, can't quite remember.
8
00:00:23,028 --> 00:00:25,005
There's a couple I feel like
I haven't seen for weeks.
9
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,769
Did your parents punish you
for swearing?
10
00:00:27,805 --> 00:00:30,655
- Only if they caught me.
- What would've happened?
11
00:00:30,691 --> 00:00:33,485
- Depended on the severity.
- Like if it was at the low end.
12
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,729
My mother made me drink soapy water.
13
00:00:36,485 --> 00:00:38,170
I don't think my kids would go for it.
14
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:40,125
It's not supposed to be voluntary.
15
00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,965
- Are you sure that's not you on that mug?
- No!
16
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000
- It looks like you.
- No.
17
00:00:44,036 --> 00:00:45,692
- What happened?
- One of them swore at me.
18
00:00:45,728 --> 00:00:46,882
- What did he say?
- She.
19
00:00:46,918 --> 00:00:49,038
- What did she say?
- You know...
20
00:00:52,257 --> 00:00:54,422
- How old is she?
- Four.
21
00:00:54,458 --> 00:00:56,823
- Does she know what that means.
- No, I don't think so.
22
00:00:56,859 --> 00:00:58,816
- She just picked it up somewhere.
- From where?
23
00:00:58,852 --> 00:01:01,004
Our eldest would be prime suspect.
24
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,945
When I was a kid, my dad, if we lied,
25
00:01:03,981 --> 00:01:06,525
would make us stand in the corner
for half an hour.
26
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,405
- Did it stop you lying?
- For half an hour, yeah.
27
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,085
What happened with your neighbour?
28
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,845
- She brought the bottles back.
- Did she?
29
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:12,925
- Yeah.
- What did you do?
30
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,365
I denied it.
I told her she must be mistaken.
31
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,285
I said, "I'm happy to put them
outside my house for now
32
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:21,245
"but I will not cover for you again."
33
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,520
You lied. I think you should stand
in the corner for half an hour.
34
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,120
All right.
35
00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:42,875
David knows some of this.
36
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,765
Erm, before we cast you, Michael,
we were talking to somebody else,
37
00:01:46,801 --> 00:01:50,644
he's kind of a big deal and has always
wanted to do a play in London.
38
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,565
I was running quite high
after Killer Joe.
39
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,143
In fact it was my
idea to take it to David.
40
00:01:54,178 --> 00:01:55,165
And they got it to me.
41
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,120
Yeah, we got it to David
and David said...
42
00:01:57,156 --> 00:01:59,278
- I said yes, yes.
- So we were all ready to announce,
43
00:01:59,314 --> 00:02:02,044
then this actor got offered a film
44
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,786
so he had to drop out of the project.
45
00:02:03,822 --> 00:02:05,827
We couldn't postpone, so we had to...
46
00:02:05,863 --> 00:02:09,808
We chose to find somebody else,
and David suggested you.
47
00:02:09,844 --> 00:02:10,844
Of course I did.
48
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,405
And that film that he went
to do has been cancelled
49
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,045
because of all of this,
and he has been phoning me a lot
50
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,920
because he'd like to be involved again.
51
00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:27,760
Well, thank you for suggesting me,
David.
52
00:02:28,475 --> 00:02:32,045
Well, not just a suggestion,
it was a strong recommendation.
53
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,845
I was unaware that you'd been
submitting me for roles
54
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:36,365
- over the years.
- Advocating.
55
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,117
Did you get a nice bit
of commission on that?
56
00:02:38,153 --> 00:02:39,889
I just really wanted to do it with you.
57
00:02:39,925 --> 00:02:40,885
Yeah, he did, really.
58
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,401
I was really thrilled when you said yes.
59
00:02:42,436 --> 00:02:43,725
Yeah, we both were, ecstatic.
60
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,485
- I don't like you, Simon.
- No.
61
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,084
I find you weaselly.
62
00:02:49,481 --> 00:02:50,880
I understand.
63
00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:53,000
Who is it?
64
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,816
- I'd rather not say.
- Does he know about me?
65
00:02:57,851 --> 00:02:58,765
No, not yet.
66
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,966
And how exactly have you
told this someone else no?
67
00:03:02,001 --> 00:03:03,045
I haven't.
68
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,640
The reason being...?
69
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,360
- He scares me.
- He scares you?
70
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,643
I mean, he is quite an
intimidating personality.
71
00:03:09,678 --> 00:03:10,845
I can be intimidating.
72
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:11,842
I know, yeah, yeah.
73
00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:14,645
I'm feeling a very strong
urge to be intimidating.
74
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,560
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, just resist it, OK?
75
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:17,703
Please, please.
76
00:03:18,016 --> 00:03:21,405
Listen, I'm going
to suggest I just call him up
77
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,485
and we just have a conversation,
actor to actor,
78
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,405
I just tell him it's done,
he had his chance
79
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,053
but we have Michael now
and we are over the moon.
80
00:03:30,422 --> 00:03:32,524
Don't you feel that we should have...
81
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,680
...we deserve a director who is
82
00:03:36,355 --> 00:03:40,320
brave enough to have difficult
conversations like that?
83
00:03:40,730 --> 00:03:41,987
Well...
84
00:03:43,596 --> 00:03:45,400
We are where we are, aren't we? So...
85
00:03:46,074 --> 00:03:48,165
These are exceptional times.
86
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:52,677
I think we have to allow
our individual exceptionalism
87
00:03:52,713 --> 00:03:55,200
to catch up with the moment, yeah?
88
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,473
Do you know how you get
people to trust you, Simon?
89
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,125
- Honesty.
- Yeah, I...
90
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:07,009
And if you can't be honest,
just don't get caught, yeah?
91
00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:08,207
Oh, hi, Lucy.
92
00:04:09,142 --> 00:04:10,467
Hi.
93
00:04:10,948 --> 00:04:14,028
- David is going to phone Sam.
- Oh, right.
94
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:18,040
I'm not doing very good at this.
95
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:31,605
David.
96
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,165
- I can't see your face.
- Yeah, yeah, that's a choice.
97
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,645
I hate these fucking things.
98
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,485
- What, video calls?
- Yeah.
99
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,205
Everybody was happy with a fucking
phone call before all this shit,
100
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,200
now suddenly they feel this need
to share a fucking close-up with me.
101
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:44,491
Right.
102
00:04:44,527 --> 00:04:47,400
Erm, can we talk about Six
Characters In Search Of An Author?
103
00:04:48,192 --> 00:04:51,845
You know, I've been trying to get
Simon on the fucking phone for days.
104
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,525
That motherfucker's not picking up.
105
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,528
He's a cock.
106
00:04:54,564 --> 00:04:57,113
Erm, what happened to your movie?
107
00:04:57,149 --> 00:04:59,484
- Unofficially?
- Sure. Unofficially.
108
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,711
The script was a mess.
109
00:05:00,747 --> 00:05:05,565
Then the director starts fucking
the co-star. Her husband finds out.
110
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,361
Husband stomps his ass out.
He's in the hospital.
111
00:05:08,397 --> 00:05:11,559
That bitch goes to rehab
and we lost half our locations.
112
00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:12,680
What about officially?
113
00:05:12,716 --> 00:05:14,844
Officially they are
saying global pandemic.
114
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,125
Sure. Well, silver lining, erm,
115
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,467
by the sound of it. Are you still in LA?
116
00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:20,445
Yeah, for now.
117
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,279
- But I'm bored as shit.
- Right.
118
00:05:22,315 --> 00:05:25,725
I've been trying to get hold of this
goddamn Simon on his fucking phone,
119
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,240
it's like I tell you,
he is not goddamn picking up.
120
00:05:28,276 --> 00:05:30,481
I know. He said you'd called.
121
00:05:30,517 --> 00:05:31,562
What?!
122
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,896
- You talked to that motherfucker?
- Voicemails is all that...
123
00:05:34,931 --> 00:05:35,925
Ah...
124
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,960
Look, OK...
All right, you know, fuck it.
125
00:05:37,996 --> 00:05:40,884
I say we use the time
to work on the play.
126
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,819
I get that it's strange,
127
00:05:42,854 --> 00:05:45,376
but we'll have something
while everybody else
128
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:47,605
is running round with
their dicks in their hands, right?
129
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,214
- Right, yeah.
- So what do you think?
130
00:05:49,317 --> 00:05:50,336
What do I think?
131
00:05:50,372 --> 00:05:54,304
- Erm, oh, what do I think?
- Yeah.
132
00:05:54,816 --> 00:05:56,076
I think...
133
00:05:57,669 --> 00:05:59,205
I think you're too late,
134
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:03,165
because I think what happened is,
you left the production
135
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,645
and us in real trouble.
136
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,365
You know, I get why you did that,
I understand completely,
137
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,058
I'd probably have done
the same thing myself,
138
00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:11,645
but we were left to pick up
139
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:16,800
the pieces, and we did that by
going out and getting someone else.
140
00:06:18,004 --> 00:06:21,586
So I wish you well, but we've moved on.
141
00:06:22,106 --> 00:06:23,889
Look, David...
142
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:25,760
Yep?
143
00:06:25,984 --> 00:06:32,991
Erm... You froze, so everything
after "I think" I didn't get.
144
00:06:33,027 --> 00:06:36,640
So could you, like, run through
all that shit again, please?
145
00:06:37,137 --> 00:06:38,885
Erm, right.
146
00:06:39,485 --> 00:06:41,405
I was just saying I think, um...
147
00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:43,873
I think...
148
00:06:44,361 --> 00:06:47,484
- Erm...
- What? You think what?
149
00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,320
I think that Jo won't allow it.
150
00:06:49,566 --> 00:06:51,200
What the fuck is his problem?
151
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,999
I don't even know this fucking Joe.
152
00:06:53,035 --> 00:06:54,807
Why would that motherfucker
be mad with me?
153
00:06:54,843 --> 00:06:57,719
Well, because you left
the production, she was...
154
00:06:57,755 --> 00:06:59,720
She? It's a she?
155
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,525
- Yeah.
- It's a woman named Jo?
156
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,365
- Yeah.
- Like Joanne, or Josephine?
157
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,763
- Um...
- Or is it just fucking plain old Jo?
158
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,404
I have no idea.
159
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,205
You know her, I don't
even know who the fuck she is
160
00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,080
- and she's pissed off with me.
- I just know her as Jo.
161
00:07:14,116 --> 00:07:16,044
I'll talk to my assistant
and I'll call her.
162
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,964
Well, I wouldn't, because she
doesn't like you very much now.
163
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,094
She doesn't want you to derail
the show, so she went straight out
164
00:07:23,130 --> 00:07:25,200
and she hired another actor.
165
00:07:25,425 --> 00:07:27,930
- Who?
- Michael Sheen.
166
00:07:28,339 --> 00:07:30,321
Who the fuck is Michael Sheen?
167
00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:35,211
Some Welsh... British, erm...
168
00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:36,405
You'll know him.
169
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,769
He was in G-Good Omens, we were...
170
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,439
Erm...
171
00:07:41,735 --> 00:07:42,840
Frost/Nixon?
172
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,765
Passengers? Twilight?
173
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,796
Any of these movies
make any goddamn money?
174
00:07:47,831 --> 00:07:48,485
I...
175
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,005
Do you want to do this with him?
176
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,565
Of course I don't, I worked with him
once. I want to do this with you.
177
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,445
I'm not, you know...
But here we are, we're stuck.
178
00:07:56,481 --> 00:07:59,926
- And... and Jo won't let us change.
- Tell you what.
179
00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:02,405
I'll call Jo.
180
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,885
I wouldn't. She's not easy
to talk to, and you'll...
181
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,885
She's angry, I'd let her cool down.
182
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,360
In the fullness of time,
when the dust is settled,
183
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,841
you and me will move on and we'll
do something else, something better.
184
00:08:40,739 --> 00:08:42,801
- Sorry.
- Don't worry.
185
00:08:43,438 --> 00:08:47,800
- Got to keep a bit quiet. Nap time.
- No, I get it. Is she down yet?
186
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,125
No, not Lyra, Michael.
187
00:08:50,376 --> 00:08:53,285
- Michael has a nap time?
- He was a little angry earlier.
188
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,406
Yeah. I heard.
189
00:08:55,442 --> 00:08:56,515
So...
190
00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:58,600
He let off some steam in the garden
191
00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:02,165
and he sat down in the sun with
his script. Then he fell asleep.
192
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:04,543
Yeah, David does that.
193
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:07,145
Then he just pretends that
he was awake the whole time.
194
00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:11,245
Michael's strangely proud of it.
Claims he can sleep anywhere.
195
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,680
Well, it's nice to have a hobby,
isn't it?
196
00:09:12,716 --> 00:09:16,203
Mm. How are you all doing?
197
00:09:16,566 --> 00:09:18,971
Oh, yeah, fine, fine.
198
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,157
Yeah, there are seven of us so...
199
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,805
- How are you?
- We are fine.
200
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,565
I mean, Lyra is pretty
low maintenance so...
201
00:09:35,079 --> 00:09:37,538
- So, things could be worse.
- Hm.
202
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:40,437
So a friend of mine
is pregnant and alone.
203
00:09:40,473 --> 00:09:41,565
Father not around?
204
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,965
- No, couldn't get away from his wife.
- Oh.
205
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,890
She's asked me to be
her birthing partner.
206
00:09:45,926 --> 00:09:47,051
Is that allowed?
207
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,240
I don't know how I feel
about leaving David on his own.
208
00:09:49,276 --> 00:09:51,973
- Yeah, how's he doing?
- Good days and bad days.
209
00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,245
I suppose I thought these
rehearsals would help
210
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,008
but it seems like more
of a hindrance so far.
211
00:09:58,489 --> 00:10:00,006
Just talking to Georgia.
212
00:10:00,244 --> 00:10:04,630
- Did you tell her I fell asleep?
- I did.
213
00:10:04,675 --> 00:10:07,035
- Well done, Michael.
- Thank you!
214
00:10:08,515 --> 00:10:10,440
David's actually started writing.
215
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,605
That may give him a bit of a focus,
you know.
216
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,685
- How's your novel?
- Oh, I, erm...
217
00:10:14,992 --> 00:10:16,245
I've actually sold it.
218
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,954
- You what?
- What?
219
00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:19,835
Georgia sold her novel.
220
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,085
Ohhhhhh!
221
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,685
- That's fantastic.
- Thanks. Thanks.
222
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,285
It's actually just happened,
David doesn't know yet so...
223
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,578
Oh! Mum's the word.
224
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,881
- It's all fine.
- Really?
225
00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:50,787
Yeah, really. It's done, it's fine.
226
00:10:50,823 --> 00:10:51,880
What did you say to him?
227
00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:54,284
I just stood up to him.
I just told him, you know,
228
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,725
that he'd had his shot.
229
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,840
I told him
we've got a superior actor now
230
00:10:57,876 --> 00:10:59,272
and that you weren't
going anywhere, so...
231
00:10:59,524 --> 00:11:01,963
- How did he take that?
- I mean,
232
00:11:02,253 --> 00:11:04,119
nobody likes getting bad news, do they?
233
00:11:04,376 --> 00:11:05,400
I wouldn't know.
234
00:11:05,436 --> 00:11:07,256
- Of course not.
- But you stood your ground?
235
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,695
I did, I did.
236
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,004
Chanelled Henry V.
237
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,285
When the blast of war blows in our ears,
238
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,485
we imitate the actions of the tiger.
239
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,005
You said that to him?
240
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,776
- Not out loud, no.
- No, of course not.
241
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,431
- Have you ever played Henry V?
- I have not, no. Have you?
242
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,605
For the RSC.
243
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:30,520
Of course you did. Yes. No,
I gave the RSC my Richard II.
244
00:11:30,969 --> 00:11:32,060
I saw it.
245
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,480
I don't know that
I would trust Richard II
246
00:11:36,046 --> 00:11:39,840
in a formal negotiation setting, though.
247
00:11:39,876 --> 00:11:42,484
- I don't know, he's impassioned.
- That's true.
248
00:11:42,671 --> 00:11:44,224
- He's eloquent.
- Undeniably.
249
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:45,491
Very snappy dresser.
250
00:11:45,527 --> 00:11:48,812
So history would have us believe,
but not perhaps the right
251
00:11:48,848 --> 00:11:52,392
temperamental fit for
the artistic battlefield.
252
00:11:52,428 --> 00:11:53,629
Perhaps not, no.
253
00:11:53,665 --> 00:11:55,925
What I'm saying is, I think
you channelled the right
254
00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:57,365
Shakespearean monarch.
255
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,685
Well, thank you very much. Yes.
256
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,656
I really should let
Simon know, shouldn't I?
257
00:12:00,691 --> 00:12:01,765
He'll be delighted.
258
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,844
Have you got a window this
afternoon for some rehearsals?
259
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,120
- I'm afraid not, no, I've errands.
- Groceries?
260
00:12:08,830 --> 00:12:11,040
- Library.
- Really? Picking up or dropping off?
261
00:12:11,076 --> 00:12:13,240
Dropping off, erm, for my neighbour.
262
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,405
- I thought that was all dealt with.
- I thought so too.
263
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,565
You denied it, you lied
to a poor little old lady.
264
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:23,485
There... there is nothing poor
or little about...
265
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:27,880
- I'm beginning to doubt she's even old.
- Ohhh. She rumbled you.
266
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,685
She has a CCTV camera on her garage.
267
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,245
She was kind enough to e-mail me
a short little video clip.
268
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,829
What, of you with armfuls of bottles,
shoving them in her bin?
269
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:40,240
So now I do her chores.
270
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,365
You're being blackmailed
by a wee little old lady.
271
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,804
Blackmail is a very strong word.
272
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,205
Listen, it'll be lovely for everyone
to see you out and about.
273
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,645
Lovely for the community.
274
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,605
Local celebrity, Michael Sheen,
visits the library.
275
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:59,640
Yeah, not returning books like
Passion On The Plantation.
276
00:13:00,136 --> 00:13:01,934
The Smell Of The Poacher.
277
00:13:02,222 --> 00:13:04,084
Ivory On Ebony.
278
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,805
There's a sort of theme, isn't there?
279
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,920
Michael, do you know how
to get people to trust you?
280
00:13:07,956 --> 00:13:09,714
Oh, piss off.
281
00:13:20,519 --> 00:13:22,937
- You said not to speak to Jo.
- Yeah.
282
00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:24,165
Well, I spoke to Jo.
283
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,170
Why did you do that?
284
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,485
- Because you told me she was furious.
- She was.
285
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,337
- Well, she seemed fine.
- She's quick to forgive.
286
00:13:30,748 --> 00:13:33,062
- Did you lie to me?
- No.
287
00:13:33,098 --> 00:13:35,664
Do you want to do
this play with Michael?
288
00:13:35,914 --> 00:13:36,972
No.
289
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,445
So tell me again.
290
00:13:38,668 --> 00:13:41,073
I want to do it with you,
that was the plan,
291
00:13:41,109 --> 00:13:43,754
that was always the plan,
I'm excited about the plan.
292
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,355
Michael's fine. I mean, he's...
293
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:47,324
He's... We get on fine.
294
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,127
- He's all right but he's not you.
- How so?
295
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,528
He's overbearing, he drinks too much.
296
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:55,940
He thinks that Henry V
is better than Richard II.
297
00:13:56,144 --> 00:13:58,405
I've worked with him once,
I'd do anything not to do it again,
298
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,565
but we're in it now,
it's too late, you know.
299
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,966
I know you're upset. Spare a thought
for me, I'm stuck with him.
300
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,725
But if the situation was different?
301
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,765
Yeah. Well, obviously, seriously,
302
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,685
of course I would want to do this
with you, in a heartbeat.
303
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,088
Hello, David.
304
00:14:14,585 --> 00:14:16,959
- All right, Michael?
- Yeah.
305
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,085
- Back from the library?
- I am, yeah.
306
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,365
All the books safe?
307
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,805
No major issues.
308
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,565
I just wanted to give Michael
a call, you know, clear the air.
309
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:27,535
Yeah, that was good of you.
310
00:14:27,571 --> 00:14:28,951
Yeah, we had lots to talk about.
311
00:14:35,451 --> 00:14:39,337
- Has he gone?
- Yeah, that motherfucker is ghost.
312
00:14:39,373 --> 00:14:41,605
Probably tucked his tail
between his legs,
313
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:46,248
and ran on his spineless spindly ass
down the street like a wounded dog.
314
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,655
Yeah, well, give him a second.
315
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,040
Is that him?
316
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,593
It is, yeah.
317
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,959
Ohhh.
318
00:15:01,156 --> 00:15:03,571
Been nice to meet you. Big fan.
319
00:15:04,602 --> 00:15:06,457
Ah, thank you.
320
00:15:06,493 --> 00:15:08,098
Yeah. Strange circumstances,
321
00:15:08,134 --> 00:15:10,277
I can't believe our paths
have never crossed before.
322
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:16,340
Yeah, erm, we have actually...
done a movie together.
323
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,245
Really? What was...
You were, like, a young actor
324
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,885
and you were, like, doing
background, or something?
325
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,725
I had a bag over my head for some...
Well, for most of it.
326
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:26,968
A bag over your head?
327
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:29,485
You were torturing
me all the way through.
328
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,592
Oh, get the fuck out of here,
that was you?!
329
00:15:31,628 --> 00:15:33,328
- Yeah.
- You were in that film?
330
00:15:33,364 --> 00:15:34,724
- Yeah.
- Come on, man.
331
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:36,925
That was a great fucking movie.
332
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,526
You were awesome in it.
333
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:42,605
Hey, remember the night that
Obama won his first presidency?
334
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,425
- Yeah.
- We were torturing the fuck out of you.
335
00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:47,386
- Right?
- Yeah... I mean...
336
00:15:47,422 --> 00:15:48,331
That was...
337
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,893
- You need to get that?
- Yeah. Erm...
338
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,376
David...
339
00:15:57,553 --> 00:16:01,924
- Listen, I know that that was cowardly.
- And you were caught.
340
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,080
- And, yeah, I was caught.
- Lying.
341
00:16:04,116 --> 00:16:05,725
Well, it's the day for it, isn't it?
342
00:16:05,761 --> 00:16:08,520
So where do we go from here, then?
343
00:16:08,556 --> 00:16:11,521
Obviously, I want to do this play
with you, but Sam has an ego
344
00:16:11,557 --> 00:16:13,842
like a fucking tour bus.
I had to manage that.
345
00:16:13,878 --> 00:16:15,963
And I managed it badly
and I got caught, OK.
346
00:16:15,999 --> 00:16:19,764
But I want to do this with you, you
have passion, you have integrity.
347
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:24,165
Sam has a mansion in the Hollywood
Hills and fucking zero imagination.
348
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,150
I would do anything
not to do it with him.
349
00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:27,865
David?
350
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:30,725
I should've seen that coming,
shouldn't I?
351
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:34,605
Yes, motherfucker, you should have.
What the fuck's wrong with you?
352
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,367
Sorry.
353
00:16:35,402 --> 00:16:37,038
You know how you
get people to trust you?
354
00:16:37,357 --> 00:16:38,320
Is it honesty?
355
00:16:38,356 --> 00:16:42,244
Grow a brain and a pair of balls.
Fuck you, David.
356
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,540
Goodbye.
357
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:52,200
Oh, nice talking to you, Michael.
358
00:17:17,221 --> 00:17:18,548
That's half an hour.
359
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:27,960
Shall I do it again?
360
00:17:36,026 --> 00:17:39,005
The credits will be Michael Sheen
361
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:42,560
and that fucking liar David Tennant.
362
00:17:48,461 --> 00:17:49,901
Yeah, seems fair.
363
00:18:15,692 --> 00:18:19,692
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