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1
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,565
- Do you know what I did yesterday?
- I do not.
2
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:10,255
I walked out into the middle
of the field next to us
3
00:00:10,291 --> 00:00:12,011
and I screamed.
4
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,980
Why?
5
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,480
I wanted to see if anyone heard.
6
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,845
- Did they?
- Well...
7
00:00:21,983 --> 00:00:24,565
- ...no-one came to my aid.
- Right.
8
00:00:24,913 --> 00:00:26,565
Do they scream a lot down there?
9
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,485
We do. Well, it's how we say hello.
10
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:29,674
Oh.
11
00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:30,795
Aaah!
12
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,125
Not bad, thanks, how are you?
13
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:34,296
Do you do a lot of
screaming in Scotland?
14
00:00:34,682 --> 00:00:35,605
Of course.
15
00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,885
That's how we summon the haggis.
16
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,045
Is that still happening
in contemporary Scotland?
17
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,525
Yeah. Yeah. It's like a rite of passage.
18
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,890
You go on a blasted heath
19
00:00:46,935 --> 00:00:51,135
and you strip down to your
tartan undercrackers and you...
20
00:00:54,074 --> 00:00:57,298
- Ooh!
- It's a very open, very open thing.
21
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,205
A meaty timbre.
22
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,438
That's more...
23
00:01:05,022 --> 00:01:07,485
I'm hearing Tarzan with you.
That's more Tarzan.
24
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,205
You know, the haggis doesn't come
unless you get it right.
25
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:11,885
We train for this for years.
26
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,045
Listen, if the haggis doesn't come,
no-one's going to be happy.
27
00:01:15,269 --> 00:01:16,852
No, exactly.
28
00:01:16,888 --> 00:01:20,165
That's the Scottish tourism campaign
right there.
29
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,365
Nicola Sturgeon can often be seen
on the top of a hillock.
30
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,736
Making a haggis come.
31
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:29,760
Did it help?
32
00:01:31,038 --> 00:01:33,083
- The screaming?
- A bit.
33
00:01:33,119 --> 00:01:35,845
- I don't think I've ever tried it.
- Now's the time.
34
00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:37,140
Mmm?
35
00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:50,660
Can you hear that?
36
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,365
Whose phone is that?
37
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:55,785
It's not me.
38
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,160
Mine neither.
39
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,245
Could we start?
40
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,645
Did you both hear that too?
41
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,826
- Maybe we should start.
- Yeah.
42
00:02:03,861 --> 00:02:04,644
Fine.
43
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,765
Well... welcome to rehearsals.
44
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,725
I know that this is
an unusual first day.
45
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,445
I don't have any of the usual bits
and bobs. There's no creative team
46
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,885
to introduce you to, and I don't
have a model box to show you,
47
00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,367
but you've got the scripts, yeah?
48
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,000
- Yep.
- And I've got one of these, so...
49
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,385
Er...
50
00:02:24,619 --> 00:02:27,244
I thought maybe we could just read
the scene through, first scene,
51
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,805
and then... ask some questions,
take it from there.
52
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,565
Yeah, fine by me.
53
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,125
I thought because we obviously
don't know each other very well,
54
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,805
maybe we could just start with
something to break the ice. So...
55
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:41,240
♪ Who stole the cookie
from the cookie jar? ♪
56
00:02:44,522 --> 00:02:47,640
♪ Michael stole the cookie
from the cookie jar. ♪
57
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,485
What the fuck was that?
58
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:02,365
I'm sorry! It's a rehearsal exercise.
59
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,685
I'm nervous!
60
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,680
We're not at fucking Sylvia Young's!
What are you doing?
61
00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:06,605
I sing...
62
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:10,285
- ...then Michael sings...
- Just be normal, for fuck's sake!
63
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,525
He's a pussycat, but you've got
to... You can't roll that shit out.
64
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,685
It's definitely coming from one of you.
65
00:03:16,178 --> 00:03:18,723
- It's not mine.
- It's not mine either.
66
00:03:21,739 --> 00:03:22,979
Simon?
67
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,440
Simon! Phone. Jo.
68
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,160
Hi, Jo.
69
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,605
Hi! I'm Lucy. I'm Simon's sister.
70
00:03:33,951 --> 00:03:35,771
- David. Hi.
- Michael.
71
00:03:36,061 --> 00:03:36,845
Hi.
72
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,005
You live with Simon, then?
73
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,085
No, he actually lives with me.
This is my place.
74
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,125
Ah! Well. It's very lovely,
75
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,160
- what we've seen of it.
- Thank you.
76
00:03:48,079 --> 00:03:49,324
I'm a big fan.
77
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,965
- Aww, that's very kind of you.
- Yeah, I saw The Pillowman.
78
00:03:52,115 --> 00:03:53,200
Oh!
79
00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:54,845
Well, thank you.
80
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,400
- That was... a very long time ago now.
- It never left me.
81
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,564
You need to say something nice about
Michael now, or he gets jealous.
82
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,604
- That's actually true.
- Well, I saw your Hamlet.
83
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:04,845
Twice.
84
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,885
- Twice!
- Yeah. Er... you seemed
85
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,204
so heartbreakingly conscious
of human potential.
86
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,165
Well, that's what I was going for.
87
00:04:12,279 --> 00:04:13,604
You lying shit.
88
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,725
Er, David!
89
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,378
Lucy's not the first person
to notice my...
90
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:22,525
...heartbreaking consciousness
of human potential.
91
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,405
Really? Name one other human being
92
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,927
who used that exact collection
of words to describe you.
93
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,080
Tim Burton.
94
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,245
Er, I'd better get back to work, so...
95
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:34,485
Is Simon ever coming back at all,
or is he...?
96
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:35,805
Oh, we've earned a break.
97
00:04:35,973 --> 00:04:38,725
- But it was lovely to meet you both.
- You too.
98
00:04:38,874 --> 00:04:41,519
Yes. Lovely to chat
to a real theatre fan.
99
00:04:41,555 --> 00:04:45,240
Oh, Lucy! Have you seen
much of Simon's work?
100
00:04:45,606 --> 00:04:46,660
...No.
101
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,165
Oh.
102
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,400
Fair enough.
103
00:04:54,639 --> 00:04:56,404
- Lovely.
- Mmm.
104
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,605
Big fan of yours.
105
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,885
Yes, and your Pillowman
has never left her.
106
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,685
Like some sort of 18th-century STD.
107
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,405
Well, she had to come and see you twice.
108
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,880
Yeah, she couldn't believe it
the first time.
109
00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:07,805
Couldn't believe it the first time!
110
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:11,565
"That can't be what's passing for
Hamlet these days," she thought.
111
00:05:11,884 --> 00:05:13,605
"I'd better go back and check."
112
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:17,045
Not only did it not leave her,
she had to come back.
113
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,525
- Yeah.
- She didn't want to leave it.
114
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,205
What was it that Tim Burton said?
115
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:24,496
- Er, word for word, he said...
- "Michael, I loved
116
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:28,325
"how heartbreaking your consciousness
117
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,925
- "of human potential was in that."
- Yeah. That's very good.
118
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,656
You've never actually
met Tim Burton, have you?
119
00:05:34,691 --> 00:05:35,692
- No.
- No.
120
00:05:35,728 --> 00:05:38,345
I mean, I worked with
him, but he wasn't there.
121
00:05:39,486 --> 00:05:42,005
- When's Simon coming back?
- I think we're done for the day.
122
00:05:42,497 --> 00:05:44,165
Pleasure working with you, Michael.
123
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:45,770
You too, David.
124
00:05:46,540 --> 00:05:47,760
Never leave.
125
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,005
- I have three questions.
- Sure.
126
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,445
One. Why is this fucking
actor's agent calling me
127
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,805
every fucking hour of the fucking day?
128
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:08,325
He left the fucking project.
129
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,165
Yeah. So his film has been cancelled
130
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,125
so he wants to get back involved again.
131
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,354
- And he can't be.
- No.
132
00:06:13,389 --> 00:06:14,301
Well, why?
133
00:06:14,337 --> 00:06:16,205
- Michael.
- Can't they both be in it?
134
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,765
- No, there's just the two lead roles.
- What's the next biggest role?
135
00:06:18,801 --> 00:06:22,446
Er, there's the mother
and, er, the stepdaughter.
136
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,245
Can you write a new character?
137
00:06:24,526 --> 00:06:25,821
- No.
- Why not?
138
00:06:26,346 --> 00:06:28,200
It's a 100-year-old masterpiece.
139
00:06:29,619 --> 00:06:31,840
Two. How did he get my fucking number?
140
00:06:32,195 --> 00:06:33,884
- I don't know.
- Did you give it to him?
141
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,232
- Yes.
- Janine?
142
00:06:36,268 --> 00:06:37,281
Yeah?
143
00:06:37,317 --> 00:06:38,462
Come here.
144
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,930
Is that your assistant?
She's there with you?
145
00:06:40,966 --> 00:06:41,925
Yeah.
146
00:06:42,339 --> 00:06:43,309
At yours?
147
00:06:43,365 --> 00:06:45,045
What benefit would she be at hers?
148
00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:46,524
What do you need?
149
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,440
Cancel my phone and get me a new number.
150
00:06:48,571 --> 00:06:49,885
Sorry, Janine!
151
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,480
Three. Can you handle this?
152
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,320
Yep.
153
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,645
What you doing?
154
00:07:05,865 --> 00:07:07,023
Yoga.
155
00:07:11,458 --> 00:07:13,165
- You got some good options?
- Mmm.
156
00:07:13,315 --> 00:07:16,240
Loads. I've narrowed it down to five.
157
00:07:16,276 --> 00:07:18,401
Oh, well done. You must be exhausted.
158
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:19,894
Yeah, that's why I'm having cake.
159
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,965
Where are the kids?
160
00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:26,285
- Quiet.
- Are they OK?
161
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,525
- I don't know.
- Should they not be doing school?
162
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:29,854
They're finished for the day.
163
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,885
It's, like, half past ten
in the morning!
164
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,143
OK, I'm finished for the day.
165
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,081
How many fucking rainbows
does a four-year-old need to make?
166
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,360
How are rehearsals?
167
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,160
Oh, we've just... finished for the day.
168
00:07:44,469 --> 00:07:45,906
You've only been in there for an hour.
169
00:07:46,379 --> 00:07:47,957
Yeah, but it was a really intense hour.
170
00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:50,208
- Well done. You must be exhausted.
- I am.
171
00:07:56,718 --> 00:07:59,485
Simon got a phone call from Jo,
172
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,245
so we said we'd pick it up tomorrow.
173
00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:03,631
- So you're done for the day?
- Yeah.
174
00:08:05,065 --> 00:08:07,645
Yeah. I was really looking forward
to doing something. Maybe I'll cook.
175
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,646
- Could you look after the kids?
- I'll cook, maybe.
176
00:08:09,681 --> 00:08:11,645
Mmm. Seriously.
177
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,565
I really need to finish
that final draft.
178
00:08:14,331 --> 00:08:16,160
I'll cook as well.
179
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:18,629
OK.
180
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,880
Coconut water. One bagel.
181
00:08:24,679 --> 00:08:25,710
Grapes.
182
00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:28,364
Pitta bread.
183
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,200
Er, leftover lasagne. Two carrots.
184
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,440
Feta cheese.
185
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,760
And the remains of an Easter egg.
186
00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:41,280
What sort of Easter egg?
187
00:08:42,479 --> 00:08:43,604
Milky Bar.
188
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,080
Nah.
189
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,338
- What, nothing?
- Just warm up the lasagne.
190
00:08:48,374 --> 00:08:49,925
She cooked the lasagne!
191
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,485
Well, garnish it with some
white chocolate shavings.
192
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:57,525
- I promised I would cook!
- You have nothing of culinary value.
193
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,085
I have two carrots!
194
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,885
Then cook the carrots!
195
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,165
- You're no help.
- What's this in aid of?
196
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,898
- Georgia's novel!
- Mmm!
197
00:09:05,934 --> 00:09:07,659
- Yeah.
- Yes, of course.
198
00:09:07,772 --> 00:09:10,245
I've been... Look, I've been
looking after the kids, like,
199
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:14,205
all day, practically, so that she's
got time to edit the last chapter,
200
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,245
and I thought, "Wouldn't it be lovely
201
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,405
"if there was a lovely meal
prepared for her at the end of it?"
202
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,085
Oh, that's very nice.
203
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,565
Is that you on that mug?
204
00:09:22,678 --> 00:09:25,083
No. Home schooling's
been slowing her down, so...
205
00:09:25,119 --> 00:09:28,004
Ah. Well, yes. I mean,
I'd jack it in if I were...
206
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,114
Teach them a craft instead.
Get them up a chimney.
207
00:09:31,150 --> 00:09:32,164
Mmm.
208
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,284
- Pickpocketing!
- Like in Oliver Twist?
209
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:35,906
Yeah. You could send them out
across London
210
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,764
and back they'd come,
their little withered arms
211
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:39,803
full of plunder.
212
00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:43,125
"I bring home some
neckerchiefs and wristwatches!"
213
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,965
"I sold my legs, Father.
214
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,974
"Can I have a little morsel?"
215
00:09:47,010 --> 00:09:49,455
- It's not a bad idea.
- Just planting seeds.
216
00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:52,895
It is in stark contravention
of social distancing laws.
217
00:09:52,930 --> 00:09:54,495
Oh, well, I assumed if you were OK
218
00:09:54,530 --> 00:09:55,975
with your kids robbing total strangers,
219
00:09:56,010 --> 00:09:57,855
you'd be fine with them
ignoring the 2m rule.
220
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,360
I think ethically it's a grey area,
I'd say.
221
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:03,865
- You'd be a good Fagin.
- Mmm.
222
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:05,225
You'd be a good Nancy.
223
00:10:05,260 --> 00:10:06,345
Thank you.
224
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:08,025
No, I've never seen it before now,
225
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:10,585
but just looking at you,
if I met you now for the first time
226
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:12,728
and I didn't know you,
I'd think, "He's up to no good."
227
00:10:13,027 --> 00:10:15,907
Heh! You know, I...
228
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:19,220
I am, actually...
229
00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:21,620
...up to no good.
230
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:23,665
Pray tell me more.
231
00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,848
Ah, it's not that bad. Really. Er...
232
00:10:26,409 --> 00:10:28,209
Just during the lockdown,
233
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:33,585
Anna and I have been drinking
a little more than usual.
234
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,505
- I'm sure that's all right.
- It's not excessive.
235
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:36,323
No, no.
236
00:10:36,358 --> 00:10:38,745
But when we emptied
the recycling this morning,
237
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:42,505
er, and got ready to put the bottles
in the wheelie bin...
238
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:46,535
- Yeah.
- ...on the road, it did look a bit...
239
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,395
- Excessive. Yes.
- Yes.
240
00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:51,286
Which is why I'm nervous about...
241
00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:52,958
...leaving the pile
242
00:10:52,994 --> 00:10:55,479
on the side of the road,
outside the house.
243
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:58,585
People know it's me who lives here.
244
00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:01,185
- Well, what are you going to do?
- I'm going to sneak out tonight
245
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:03,370
- and put them in my neighbour's bin.
- You can't do that.
246
00:11:03,406 --> 00:11:04,465
Yes, I can!
247
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,545
- What if their bin's full?
- It won't be! She's 80.
248
00:11:06,580 --> 00:11:08,425
She doesn't even recycle properly.
249
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:12,600
You are sneaking out
under cover of night
250
00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:15,785
to leave your Bacchanalian embarrassment
251
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:18,225
in your octogenarian neighbour's bin?
252
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,705
- Bacchanalian embarrassment?
- That's right, yes.
253
00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:23,260
Yes, I am.
254
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:25,705
Anna?
255
00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:27,345
No, no, don't, no...
256
00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:29,185
- Anna!
- She knows! She knows!
257
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:31,265
Anna!
258
00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:33,125
- All right.
- Hi!
259
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,065
- Hi.
- Hi!
260
00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:38,145
Er, David doesn't agree
with our recycling plan.
261
00:11:38,180 --> 00:11:39,545
You know about this plan?
262
00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:41,060
- I do.
- And you're fine with it?
263
00:11:42,039 --> 00:11:44,079
Would you rather we didn't recycle?
264
00:11:47,420 --> 00:11:48,313
No...
265
00:11:48,348 --> 00:11:51,065
Did you know that
Georgia's writing a novel?
266
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,833
- Oh!
- She's finishing today.
267
00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:54,180
Oh, what's it about?
268
00:11:57,940 --> 00:12:02,945
Spanish queen and... Columbus?
Something about Columbus?
269
00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:04,465
Isabella de Castile?
270
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,785
Isabella de Castile.
271
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:09,705
Maybe, yeah.
272
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:11,421
- Wonderful!
- Mmm.
273
00:12:12,101 --> 00:12:14,985
- I haven't got the patience to write.
- Of course you do.
274
00:12:15,229 --> 00:12:17,585
- I'd like to try it.
- Oh, you should. Put me in it.
275
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:19,905
Nah. I'm very proud of Georgia.
276
00:12:19,955 --> 00:12:22,200
- Have you told her that?
- Cooking her dinner...
277
00:12:22,344 --> 00:12:24,945
Mmm. Something with carrots.
278
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:26,345
- Ooh!
- Mmm.
279
00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:30,690
- Oh, hang on. Sorry.
- Do you need to go?
280
00:12:30,726 --> 00:12:32,225
Er, looks like it.
281
00:12:32,607 --> 00:12:35,265
Oh, no, Georgia's there. Beat me to it.
282
00:12:35,469 --> 00:12:37,854
Yeah. No, I mean...
283
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:40,182
On the phone, I think.
She's on the phone.
284
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,580
Yeah, David was brilliant, actually.
He was so supportive.
285
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,185
- Yeah.
- Saying nice things about me.
286
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:48,510
Yeah, we can hear!
287
00:12:48,831 --> 00:12:51,745
It's just that he's not been
the same since lockdown started.
288
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:55,025
He's listless, you know?
He can't focus or get anything done.
289
00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:58,305
You know, yesterday,
he went out into the garden
290
00:12:58,340 --> 00:12:59,785
and just screamed.
291
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:03,065
I'm sure it's nothing serious.
It's just not like him, you know,
292
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:04,945
and... the kids have noticed a bit...
293
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:07,290
I don't know how you switch this off.
294
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,145
- It's not good enough, Simon.
- I know.
295
00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:24,105
You spent no small amount of effort
persuading us to do this,
296
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:26,225
then you disappear
for a day and a night.
297
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:28,905
I know. I've just been trying
to deal with a small problem.
298
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:30,865
- What problem?
- And I wanted to wait
299
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,465
and come back to you
when it was all resolved.
300
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,385
- And has it been resolved?
- Not yet.
301
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:36,985
- What is it?
- And if your face freezes
302
00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:38,320
like a punched quiche again, I'm done.
303
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,465
Do not answer that door, Simon.
304
00:13:43,500 --> 00:13:44,985
- It's not my door.
- It's not mine.
305
00:13:46,060 --> 00:13:48,865
I am getting very tired of this.
306
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:51,305
Michael! Door!
307
00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:52,680
I'll be right back.
308
00:13:55,220 --> 00:13:58,145
David, I'm sorry. I will explain
everything to you and Michael
309
00:13:58,180 --> 00:14:00,785
- as soon as he's back.
- Just need to focus a bit more.
310
00:14:00,820 --> 00:14:02,846
The whole thing so
far's just been a bit...
311
00:14:02,881 --> 00:14:03,709
I know.
312
00:14:03,745 --> 00:14:06,385
But the other actor,
it's him, from before.
313
00:14:06,687 --> 00:14:09,905
He's been calling again and again.
He wants to get involved.
314
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:12,745
- I've got to go.
- What is it?
315
00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:15,820
My neighbour's at the gate.
She brought my fucking bottles back.
316
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:28,025
I've been thinking about
what Georgia was saying
317
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:29,574
and what you were saying about writing.
318
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:34,345
Oh! You... You thinking
of dipping your toe
319
00:14:34,380 --> 00:14:37,666
- in those murky waters?
- Maybe, yeah.
320
00:14:37,701 --> 00:14:38,785
Mmm.
321
00:14:39,392 --> 00:14:41,642
I don't think I want to use
my actual name, though.
322
00:14:42,439 --> 00:14:44,204
A nom de plume!
323
00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:47,105
- Oui-oui.
- Ohh! Très bien!
324
00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:49,665
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- Any ideas?
325
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,300
Well, my birth name's McDonald.
326
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,595
McDonald.
327
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:54,876
MuckDonald.
328
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:58,406
"Written by David McDonald."
329
00:14:58,688 --> 00:15:01,505
"A novel by David McDonald."
330
00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:04,945
"A play? By David McDonald?!"
331
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:06,945
Yes! Yeah, what do you think?
332
00:15:06,980 --> 00:15:09,945
I like it! Very much.
333
00:15:10,098 --> 00:15:13,107
- Yeah.
- It's got history,
334
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:16,105
it's got, er, it's got nobility...
335
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:18,225
I might rebrand completely.
336
00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:19,745
Acting too!
337
00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:22,265
- Well, maybe.
- Oof.
338
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:23,785
That's very bold.
339
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:25,005
Is it too bold?
340
00:15:25,041 --> 00:15:26,766
Well... now's the time.
341
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:28,425
"Starring...
342
00:15:28,866 --> 00:15:30,426
"...David McDonald."
343
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:35,100
"Starring David McDonald."
344
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:41,380
Of course, you know what that means.
345
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,340
No!
346
00:15:44,413 --> 00:15:48,413
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
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