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1
00:00:01,317 --> 00:00:03,485
[whinnies]
2
00:00:03,486 --> 00:00:05,104
Hello.
3
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:07,824
I'm Mister Ed.
4
00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:13,779
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
5
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,948
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
6
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,583
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
7
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:19,752
♪ Is the famousMister Ed ♪
8
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:21,920
/c
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
9
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:24,089
♪ He'll give you the answerthat you'll endorse ♪
10
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,258
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
11
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,427
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
12
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,468
[Kay]
Carol, where are you?
13
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:37,636
In the kitchen.
14
00:00:40,356 --> 00:00:42,524
You shouldn't be working
with that sprained wrist.
15
00:00:42,525 --> 00:00:45,227
- I wanna get dinner ready
for Wilbur. - Well, let me help.
16
00:00:45,228 --> 00:00:47,947
Ah, thanks, Kay.
Hand me the chicken, will you? It's in the refrigerator.
17
00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:50,115
One chicken coming up.
18
00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:54,987
[muttering]
19
00:00:56,623 --> 00:01:00,410
Poor doll. He doesn't have
a thing to wear.
20
00:01:00,410 --> 00:01:02,578
Just put it in the pot
and light the stove.
21
00:01:02,579 --> 00:01:04,747
Oh, no. The little fella's
22
00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:07,467
gone through so much already.
23
00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:12,338
Sweetie, why don't you let me
prepare dinner for all of us tonight?
24
00:01:12,338 --> 00:01:16,141
You know, salad, steak,
mushrooms, apple pie.
25
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:19,395
Thanks, Kay, but I know
you hate to cook.
26
00:01:19,395 --> 00:01:22,097
You're so right.
27
00:01:22,098 --> 00:01:24,266
We'll eat out.
I'll call Addison.
28
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:25,901
Oh, Kay, really.
29
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:31,857
Wilbur's on the phone.
30
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:35,111
Thank you.
I have your address, yes.
31
00:01:35,111 --> 00:01:37,830
And, Velma, it'll just be
for the one week, huh?
32
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,449
There won't be much housekeeping
to speak of.
33
00:01:39,449 --> 00:01:43,786
Most of your work is gonna
be done in the kitchen, cooking.
34
00:01:43,787 --> 00:01:46,506
All right.
I'll pick you right up.
35
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,124
Thank you. Good-bye.
36
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:54,097
Well, Ed...
[sneezes]
37
00:01:54,097 --> 00:01:56,265
- Gesundheit.
- Thank you.
38
00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:59,519
Carol's gonna be surprised
when she finds out I hired a cook to help her.
39
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:01,687
That's the trouble
with us Americans.
40
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,306
We spoil our women.
41
00:02:03,306 --> 00:02:05,474
Oh, come on.
Carol's a great cook.
42
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:08,193
You know that. It's just that
she sprained her wrist.
43
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,812
Sure. How did she sprain it?
44
00:02:09,813 --> 00:02:11,981
The can opener slipped.
45
00:02:11,981 --> 00:02:14,149
[sneezes]
46
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,318
Gesundheit, again.
47
00:02:16,319 --> 00:02:17,953
Thank you, Ed.
48
00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:20,656
Velma Pinkney.
She sounds very efficient.
49
00:02:20,657 --> 00:02:23,910
- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
50
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:26,078
You know, I think
I'm allergic to your hay.
51
00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:28,247
What are you complaining about?
52
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,416
I have to eat this stuff.
53
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,669
♪ [humming]
54
00:02:38,007 --> 00:02:42,344
Wilbur, did you call
that cook I recommended?
55
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:44,514
- Just going now to pick her up.
- Good.
56
00:02:44,514 --> 00:02:47,767
Look, I hope you didn't tell Kay
about my surprise, because she is sure to tell Carol.
57
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:51,570
Oh, no, no, no.
I learned my lesson 20 years ago when I told Kay a secret.
58
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:53,189
- What secret?
- That I was single.
59
00:02:53,189 --> 00:02:54,823
I should've known.
60
00:02:55,358 --> 00:02:58,077
We want you and Kay to be
our guests tonight for dinner.
61
00:02:58,077 --> 00:03:00,779
I mean, the way you talk
about this Velma, she must be a wonderful cook.
62
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,499
Oh, she is. Great.
But that's the story of my life.
63
00:03:03,499 --> 00:03:06,201
The only time I ever get
a good home-cooked meal is when I go--
64
00:03:06,202 --> 00:03:08,921
Go to somebody else's house.
65
00:03:15,428 --> 00:03:17,046
[laughs]
Married men.
66
00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:20,299
Boy, am I glad I'm a bachelor.
67
00:03:27,557 --> 00:03:30,276
- Well, this is it, Velma.
- Mmm.
68
00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,978
I'll tell Mrs. Post you're here.
She'll be surprised.
69
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:35,698
Honey?
70
00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:38,951
Carol.
71
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:40,035
Hi, dear.
72
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,738
Surprise for you, honey.
73
00:03:42,739 --> 00:03:44,907
Say hello to Velma,
our new cook.
74
00:03:44,908 --> 00:03:46,542
She's gonna be with us
for a week.
75
00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:48,710
Oh, thank yoQXu,
darling.
76
00:03:48,711 --> 00:03:50,329
- Hello, Velma.
- Hello, Mrs. Post.
77
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,964
[Velma chuckles]
78
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,583
You happy?
79
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:56,836
Oh, darling, you're
the most wonderful husband in the world.
80
00:03:56,836 --> 00:04:00,089
One thing about my wife,
Velma, she always tells the truth.
81
00:04:00,089 --> 00:04:01,173
[Carol chuckles]
82
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,342
Oh, hang onto him,
Mrs. Post.
83
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:06,062
A good man
is hard to find.
84
00:04:06,062 --> 00:04:08,230
Any man is hard to find.
85
00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:12,018
At my age, even a bad man
is hard to find.
86
00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:13,102
[Wilbur laughs]
87
00:04:13,102 --> 00:04:14,736
Well, there'll be four
for dinner tonight, Velma.
88
00:04:15,271 --> 00:04:16,905
I invited Roger
and Kay over.
89
00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:18,524
Well, I know
you'll be happy here.
90
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:20,692
- Be in my office, dear,
- Okay, dear.
91
00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:22,327
I'll show you to your room.
92
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:24,496
Oh, what a nice man.
93
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:25,581
[Carol chuckles]
94
00:04:25,581 --> 00:04:28,283
Mrs. Post, have you got
a butler working for you?
95
00:04:28,284 --> 00:04:29,368
No.
96
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,003
- A chauffeur?
- No.
97
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:35,341
Well, on my day off,
it looks like solitaire again.
98
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:41,297
Oh, by the way, do you have
your milk delivered?
99
00:04:41,297 --> 00:04:42,931
- Yes.
- Is the milkman married?
100
00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:44,016
Yes.
101
00:04:45,635 --> 00:04:47,269
You don't have to rub it in.
102
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:51,607
What a feast.
103
00:04:51,607 --> 00:04:53,775
Velma, the dinner
is delicious.
104
00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:54,860
Oh, thank you.
105
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:55,945
- Marvelous.
- Oh, it's perfect.
106
00:04:56,479 --> 00:04:57,563
I could never do
anything like it.
107
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,731
This wasn't a dinner.
This was a banquet.
108
00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:01,900
Oh, this meal
is so beautiful, I could wear it.
109
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:04,069
The soup is
a collector's item.
110
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,154
Oh, honey, thanks
again for Velma.
111
00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:07,322
She's the nicest present
you've ever given me.
112
00:05:07,323 --> 00:05:10,042
If she were a little smaller,
I would've had her gift-wrapped.
113
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,211
Wilbur, can I open
a charge account here?
114
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,379
Oh, now darling,
we mustn't take advantage.
115
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:17,082
We shouldn't eat here
over four or five times a week.
116
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,251
[Wilbur laughs]
117
00:05:20,336 --> 00:05:21,970
Baked Alaska.
118
00:05:21,971 --> 00:05:22,504
- Oh!
- Oh!
119
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,224
[excited chatter]
120
00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:26,308
Beautiful, beautiful.
121
00:05:26,309 --> 00:05:29,562
Well. Your hand
should be immortalized
122
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:30,646
at Grauman's Chinese.
123
00:05:30,646 --> 00:05:34,433
Oh, Mr. Post,
thank you.
124
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:37,687
Oh, the good ones
are always married.
125
00:05:37,687 --> 00:05:39,855
- [Wilbur laughs]
- [Roger] Thank you. Thank you very much.
126
00:05:39,856 --> 00:05:42,024
[ Roger sighs]
127
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:44,743
Oh, Velma's such a jewel.
128
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:47,446
- I wonder why
the Johnsons let her go. - She quit.
129
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:50,700
I understand she was
engaged to their butler Henry
130
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:51,784
and they broke up.
131
00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:52,868
Oh, that's too bad.
132
00:05:52,869 --> 00:05:55,037
She's such a nice woman.
I hope she finds somebody.
133
00:05:55,588 --> 00:05:58,841
If you wouldn't mind, my dear,
I'd marry her myself.
134
00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:02,094
If she cooked for us,
I'd let you.
135
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,713
Sure gonna hate to lose her
at the end of the week.
136
00:06:03,713 --> 00:06:05,347
If it'll make you feel
any better, honey,
137
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:06,966
I'll sprain the other wrist.
138
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,050
Please?
139
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:09,685
[laughter]
140
00:06:09,685 --> 00:06:11,303
Oh, boy! Pizza!
141
00:06:11,854 --> 00:06:14,556
It's for your horse,
Mr. Post. A carrot pizza.
142
00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:16,725
For your horse?
143
00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:18,894
Yeah, he loves
Italian food.
144
00:06:18,895 --> 00:06:22,148
Instead of sugar cubes,
I have to feed him breadsticks.
145
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:24,316
[Roger laughs]
146
00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:34,076
[lively chatter, laughter]
147
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:40,049
Ah, you like
Velma's pizza, huh?
148
00:06:40,049 --> 00:06:43,836
When I worked at the Johnsons',
so did my boyfriend Henry.
149
00:06:44,387 --> 00:06:46,555
He ate like a horse, too.
150
00:06:46,556 --> 00:06:48,724
He should only choke.
151
00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:52,511
Do you know I fed that man
like a king for four years?
152
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,765
And what happened?
I got the brush.
153
00:06:55,765 --> 00:06:59,018
Men. Who needs 'em? Huh.
154
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:00,102
I do.
155
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:01,737
♪
156
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,750
Henry's loss is my gain.
157
00:07:15,284 --> 00:07:18,537
Man, this pizza
is molto bene.
158
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:22,341
♪ [humming Santa Lucia]
159
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:25,043
♪ Santa Lucia ♪
160
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:28,297
[continues humming]
161
00:07:28,297 --> 00:07:32,100
♪ Santa Lucia ♪
162
00:07:35,104 --> 00:07:38,357
This is your last
homemade pizza, Ed.
163
00:07:38,357 --> 00:07:41,059
Carol's wrist is better,
and Velma's leaving tonight.
164
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,694
Not so loud.
165
00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:46,482
I don't want my stomach
to know it's back to hay again.
166
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,735
You know, she sure
fattened you up.
167
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:50,285
[pats his side]
168
00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:52,454
Wow. Another week,
169
00:07:52,455 --> 00:07:54,073
I'd have to get
a girdle for you.
170
00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:56,241
Oh, don't
let her go, Wilbur.
171
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,961
My friends say
I never looked better.
172
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:01,129
We tried to talk her
into staying last night,
173
00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:03,298
but she wants a job
where she can meet men.
174
00:08:03,299 --> 00:08:07,086
All right. Throw
a U.S.O. dance for her.
175
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,720
I might just do that.
[chuckles]
176
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:10,339
Last piece.
177
00:08:14,143 --> 00:08:16,845
There's only one thing
that would make her change her mind--
178
00:08:16,846 --> 00:08:18,480
if she met a man.
179
00:08:18,481 --> 00:08:21,183
And that's one thing you
can't buy at the supermarket.
180
00:08:21,184 --> 00:08:23,903
How about the postman,
Mr. Hodges?
181
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:24,987
Married.
182
00:08:25,521 --> 00:08:26,071
The plumber?
183
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,690
Married.
184
00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:30,409
Do you think she'd wait
for the newsboy to grow up?
185
00:08:31,494 --> 00:08:32,578
Here she comes.
186
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:35,831
I'm ready to leave, Mr. Post.
187
00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:37,449
Will you drive me
to the bus station?
188
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,169
Sure. Uh, Velma...
189
00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:41,787
if you weren't leaving,
190
00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:44,506
what would you be cooking
for dinner tomorrow?
191
00:08:45,041 --> 00:08:47,209
Oh. Um...
I was going to start
192
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:50,463
with little individual
cheese soufflé.
193
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,631
Cheese soufflé.
194
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:54,266
Cheese soufflé.
195
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,351
And then?
196
00:08:55,351 --> 00:08:58,604
Uh, artichoke hearts
with sour cream dressing.
197
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,772
Sour cream dressing.
198
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,941
[All]
Sour cream dressing.
199
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:04,560
Then?
200
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,729
My main course
would be, uh,
201
00:09:06,729 --> 00:09:09,448
tornado of beef
with Béarnaise sauce.
202
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:11,616
Béarnaise sauce.
203
00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,785
[All]
Béarnaise sauce.
204
00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:15,954
And for dessert?
205
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:17,573
Cherries jubilee.
206
00:09:19,742 --> 00:09:21,376
[All]
Cherries jubilee.
207
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:26,248
What are we having
for dinner tomorrow?
208
00:09:26,249 --> 00:09:27,333
I'm not sure.
209
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,501
The label
washed off the can.
210
00:09:34,390 --> 00:09:35,474
Good-bye, Mrs. Post.
211
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:37,642
It was so nice
working for you.
212
00:09:37,643 --> 00:09:39,261
Well, if you
ever change your mind...
213
00:09:39,262 --> 00:09:40,346
[telephone rings]
214
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:41,430
Excuse me.
215
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:44,683
Hello?
216
00:09:45,768 --> 00:09:47,402
Yes, she's here.
217
00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:48,487
Velma, it's for you.
218
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:49,571
A man!
219
00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:51,190
@A man? [gasps]
220
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:54,993
Hello?
221
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,247
Yes, this is Velma.
Who is this?
222
00:09:58,247 --> 00:09:59,865
Walter?
223
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:00,949
Walter who?
224
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,584
Just call me "Walter"
225
00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:05,287
until we know
each other better.
226
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:07,456
Well, who are you?
227
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,175
Just a secret admirer.
228
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,429
Uh, well, what do you want?
229
00:10:13,429 --> 00:10:15,597
I've watched you
from a distance,
230
00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:17,216
and I adore you.
231
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:21,020
Uh, well, I don't speak
to strange men.
232
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,638
Are you married?
233
00:10:22,638 --> 00:10:25,357
I've never trotted down
that middle aisle.
234
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:29,145
[chuckles] He sounds
like a Harvard man.
235
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,863
[syrupy sweet]
What do you have in mind?
236
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:34,566
I'll call you tomorrow.
Will you be there?
237
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,286
Of course I'll be here tomorrow.
I'll be here all week.
238
00:10:37,286 --> 00:10:39,454
I work for the Posts.
239
00:10:39,455 --> 00:10:40,539
Yes.
240
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:43,241
Cherries jubilee.
241
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,410
Cheese soufflé.
242
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:51,717
Hello, Ed.
243
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:53,335
[chuckles]
Hello, Wilbur.
244
00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:54,419
[Ed chuckles]
245
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,504
Isn't it wonderful
246
00:10:55,504 --> 00:10:57,672
about Velma finding
a boyfriend and staying?
247
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,926
Yeah. Uh, just a minute.
248
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:03,094
Uh, here's a menu
I wrote out
249
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,263
for my dinner tonight.
250
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:06,348
Menu?
251
00:11:06,349 --> 00:11:06,899
Mm-hmm.
252
00:11:08,517 --> 00:11:10,151
"Oat cocktail"?
253
00:11:10,152 --> 00:11:11,236
Mm-hmm.
254
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:12,855
"Home-fried carrots."
255
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,490
[Ed] Mmm.
256
00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:17,192
"Baked apple
with alfalfa sauce."
257
00:11:17,193 --> 00:11:18,277
Ohh...
258
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:21,530
And "lobster thermidore--"
259
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,249
Lobster thermidore?
260
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,334
Well, that's in case
261
00:11:25,334 --> 00:11:26,952
you want to eat with me.
262
00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:28,036
Oh, you're
very thoughtful.
263
00:11:28,037 --> 00:11:30,205
Just give Velma the menu
264
00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:32,374
and leave her a good tip.
265
00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:34,009
Well, later, Ed.
I got work to do.
266
00:11:34,009 --> 00:11:35,627
All right.
267
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,262
Lobster thermi--
268
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:39,965
Lobster thermidore.
269
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:41,049
Mmm.
270
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:45,387
Wilbur!
Velma is leaving!
271
00:11:45,388 --> 00:11:46,472
What, again?
272
00:11:47,022 --> 00:11:48,106
[thud]
273
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:50,275
But what happened?
She said she'd stay!
274
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:53,529
Remember that phone call
she got from that fellow Walter last night?
275
00:11:53,529 --> 00:11:55,697
q8
Well, he didn't call back, so she's packing.
276
00:11:55,698 --> 00:11:57,316
Maybe I'd better have
a talk with her.
277
00:11:57,867 --> 00:12:00,569
I don't think
it'll do any good. She's made up her mind.
278
00:12:00,569 --> 00:12:05,457
Well, I guess
Walter has to turn on the old charm again.
279
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,413
[sighs]
280
00:12:11,414 --> 00:12:12,498
Velma?
281
00:12:12,498 --> 00:12:13,582
Yes, Mr. Post?
282
00:12:13,582 --> 00:12:16,301
Velma, can't we sit down
and talk this over?
283
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:21,173
Mr. Post, the only reason
I stayed, I was expecting a call from that fella.
284
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:22,257
Walter.
285
00:12:22,258 --> 00:12:23,892
But there are
other men.
286
00:12:23,893 --> 00:12:26,061
Yeah, and I'm goin'
lookin' for 'em.
287
00:12:26,061 --> 00:12:28,229
Maybe I could break
our TV set
288
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:30,398
and ask for
a bachelor repairman.
289
00:12:30,399 --> 00:12:33,652
With my luck,
he'd be 90 years old.
290
00:12:33,652 --> 00:12:35,820
No. I'm ready to go
now, Mr. Post.
291
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,439
Oh. Good-bye, Mrs. Post.
292
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,608
I enjoyed
working for you.
293
00:12:39,608 --> 00:12:41,242
Well, good luck, Velma.
294
00:12:41,243 --> 00:12:42,327
- [telephone rings]
- Oh, wait.
295
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,946
Just a minute, please?
296
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:48,834
Hello?
297
00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:52,087
Yes. She's here.
298
00:12:52,087 --> 00:12:53,171
Velma, it's for you.
299
00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,256
A man.
300
00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:55,874
Ohh! It must be him!
301
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,043
[breathing excitedly]
302
00:12:58,043 --> 00:12:59,677
Hello?
303
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:01,846
It's me, my love.
Walter.
304
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:05,100
What happened?
I was waiting for your call.
305
00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:08,887
I, uh...I just
lost my nerve.
306
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:11,607
Aw...you're shy.
307
00:13:12,141 --> 00:13:12,691
[giggles]
308
00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:15,393
Oh, we're perfect
for each other.
309
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:18,113
I'm shy, too.
310
00:13:18,113 --> 00:13:19,731
Cherries jubilee.
311
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,900
- Yeah.
- Mmm!
312
00:13:22,985 --> 00:13:25,704
Well, good-bye, my love.
313
00:13:25,704 --> 00:13:26,788
I'll call you tomorrow.
314
00:13:26,789 --> 00:13:29,491
Tomorrow? If you
don't meet me tonight,
315
00:13:29,492 --> 00:13:31,126
I won't be here.
316
00:13:31,126 --> 00:13:32,744
Uh, then it's tonight.
317
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:36,548
I'll meet you
outside the patio after dinner.
318
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,717
Good. [giggles]
319
00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:42,504
Oh, I-- I hope you're
as handsome as you sound.
320
00:13:42,505 --> 00:13:46,308
I am, but it all depends
on your point of view.
321
00:13:46,308 --> 00:13:49,010
Au revoir, chérie.
322
00:13:49,011 --> 00:13:50,645
kA
[makes loud kiss]
323
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:52,263
[kiss]
324
00:13:58,237 --> 00:13:59,321
Almost 8:00.
325
00:14:02,024 --> 00:14:04,743
I hope that Walter
shows up.
326
00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:07,996
The girls have been up there
working on Velma for an hour now.
327
00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:10,699
I certainly hope they've
prettied her up a little.
328
00:14:10,699 --> 00:14:12,333
Velma deserves happiness,
you know?
329
00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:13,952
She has so much
to offer a man.
330
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,587
- [door closes]
- Friendship, warmth, loyalty.
331
00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:18,840
Stroganoff, lasagna,
shish kebob.
332
00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:20,459
If she leaves,
I'll kill myself.
333
00:14:22,094 --> 00:14:24,262
Well, she'll
be right down.
334
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:25,881
How does she look?
335
00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:26,431
Anxious.
336
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:27,516
Honey, we'd better hurry
337
00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:29,134
if we're going
to make that movie.
338
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:31,302
Yeah. Roger, would you mind
looking in on Ed?
339
00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:32,937
Make sure
the barn window's closed.
340
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,556
- Oh, sure, sure.
- [door closes]
341
00:14:34,557 --> 00:14:36,191
Here she comes.
342
00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:38,893
♪ [march]
343
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,782
♪ [winds down comically]
344
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,822
Velma, you look beautiful!
345
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:51,907
- Oh, Mr. Post.
- Beautiful?
346
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,076
Why, she's
positively enchanting.
347
00:14:54,076 --> 00:14:55,710
Oh...why...
348
00:14:55,711 --> 00:14:57,879
[giggles]
349
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:58,964
Won't you be late
for the movie?
350
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,132
Oh, oh, yes. Yes.
Come on, honey. Let's go.
351
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,751
- Have a nice time, Velma.
- Thank you.
352
00:15:02,751 --> 00:15:03,835
- Good night, Velma.
- Thank you. Good night.
353
00:15:04,386 --> 00:15:04,919
- Good night.
- Velma...
354
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:06,004
have fun.
355
00:15:06,555 --> 00:15:07,639
Oh, yes.
[giggles]
356
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,258
[Kay]
Have a good evening, Velma.
357
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,665
p5
[makes wolf whistle]
358
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,452
Is that you, Walter?
359
00:15:37,453 --> 00:15:39,087
It's me.
360
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:41,790
You look beautiful,
Velma.
361
00:15:43,959 --> 00:15:47,212
Oh...why don't you come
over here where I can see you?
362
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,931
[Ed]
I told you. I'm shy.
363
00:15:49,932 --> 00:15:53,185
Ohh...
don't be like that.
364
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:58,607
[seductively]
We're all alone.
365
00:15:58,607 --> 00:16:01,309
Uh, don't come
any closer, Velma.
366
00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:04,029
Oh, why, Walter? Why?
367
00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:09,985
[whistling tune]
368
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,407
[closing latch]
369
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:18,126
ñ
You don't have to be that shy.
370
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,211
Turn around.
371
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:20,829
Hello, Velma.
372
00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:22,998
You!
373
00:16:22,998 --> 00:16:24,082
[gasps deeply]
374
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:26,251
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself!
375
00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:27,885
For doing this?
376
00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:29,504
Does your wife know?
377
00:16:29,505 --> 00:16:30,589
'$Of course.
I just told her.
378
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,308
Well, I'm not
that broadminded!
379
00:16:33,308 --> 00:16:34,392
Ooh!
380
00:16:37,646 --> 00:16:39,264
What's the matter
with that woman?
381
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,067
What's she talking about?
Broad--
382
00:16:44,687 --> 00:16:46,855
What's the matter with me?
Talking to a horse.
383
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:59,334
He had to show up.
384
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:02,036
Now I'm back
to hay again.
385
00:17:02,037 --> 00:17:05,290
♪ [comic]
386
00:17:10,713 --> 00:17:11,797
Velma!
387
00:17:12,881 --> 00:17:13,965
Is Romeo here?
388
00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:21,022
Who?
389
00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:23,191
Your husband.
Our boyfriend.
390
00:17:23,192 --> 00:17:24,810
What are you
talking about?
391
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,978
When he complimented me
and kissed my hand,
392
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,147
I thought he was only
after my cooking.
393
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,232
Addison?
394
00:17:30,232 --> 00:17:31,866
I'll be your witness
in court.
395
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:34,569
Oh, now, just a minute.
There must be a mistake.
396
00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:37,823
Ask your husband
what happened in the backyard.
397
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:38,907
÷
What did happen?
398
00:17:38,907 --> 00:17:40,541
Let Walter tell you.
399
00:17:40,542 --> 00:17:41,626
Walter?
400
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:44,329
That's your husband.
401
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:47,582
Velma...I'm sure
you must be mistaken.
402
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:48,667
I don't want
to hurt your feelings,
403
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:51,386
but I just can't imagine
my husband leaving me
404
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,554
- for--
- For me?
405
00:17:53,555 --> 00:17:56,808
Mrs. Addison, I may not be
as pretty as you,
406
00:17:56,809 --> 00:18:00,062
but when it comes to cooking,
you can't hold a pot to me!
407
00:18:00,062 --> 00:18:02,230
Oh, now, darling, really!
408
00:18:02,231 --> 00:18:03,849
Just because I'm not
a good cook
409
00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:06,017
and my husband
happens to enjoy your cheese soufflés,
410
00:18:06,568 --> 00:18:08,186
your baked Alaska,
and your wonderful gravies,
411
00:18:08,187 --> 00:18:09,821
and-- What did happen
in the backyard?
412
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,990
Let him tell you.
413
00:18:11,990 --> 00:18:14,158
♪
414
00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:16,328
[door closes]
415
00:18:17,412 --> 00:18:19,030
Dear.
It's getting late.
416
00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:20,665
Shall we turn in?
417
00:18:23,919 --> 00:18:26,087
Hey! Are--
Are you crazy?
418
00:18:28,257 --> 00:18:29,341
[Velma]
Get-- Ohh...
419
00:18:35,297 --> 00:18:36,381
Here. Have some juice,
dear.
420
00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:38,015
Thank you.
421
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:39,100
I can't understand why Velma
422
00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:40,719
hasn't been down
to fix breakfast.
423
00:18:40,719 --> 00:18:42,353
She must've overslept.
424
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,607
[chuckles]
Her boyfriend probably kept her out late.
425
00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:46,691
[door closes]
426
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:50,478
Oh, not again!
427
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,113
Mr. Post, I'm leaving!
428
00:18:52,114 --> 00:18:55,367
- But, Velma,
you promised to stay. - Velma.
429
00:18:56,451 --> 00:18:59,153
What happened? Didn't
Walter show up last night?
430
00:18:59,154 --> 00:19:01,322
Yes. Mr. Addison did!
431
00:19:01,323 --> 00:19:02,407
Addison?
432
00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:04,575
You might as well know
433
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,744
your neighbor is a chaser.
434
00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,913
Oh, Velma, really!
435
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:11,633
Underneath that mustache
you'll find a Bluebeard.
436
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:15,420
Velma, I think you're
imagining all this.
437
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:18,139
Ñ
Why, Mr. Addison is very devoted to his wife.
438
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:19,758
Why, he wouldn't think
of looking at another woman.
439
00:19:20,309 --> 00:19:23,011
Mrs. Addison
believed me last night.
440
00:19:23,011 --> 00:19:26,264
Kay would never believe
a story like that.
441
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:27,899
[Roger]
I wouldn't say that.
442
00:19:28,984 --> 00:19:30,068
Velma--
443
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,770
Please! Haven't you
done enough?
444
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,405
Roger, what's
going on here?
445
00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:37,108
She told Kay
the most fantastic story
446
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,277
how-- h-how I-- uh...
447
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,446
Why don't you take
your crummy pizzas and go.
448
00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:44,165
Oh, now, Roger,
just a minute!
449
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:46,334
Her pizzas
are not crummy.
450
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:49,037
I'm going home to Mother!
451
00:19:49,037 --> 00:19:50,121
Oh, now, Kay, dear--
452
00:19:50,672 --> 00:19:52,840
I hope that you and Velma
and her soufflés,
453
00:19:52,841 --> 00:19:55,543
the three of you,
will be very happy!
454
00:19:55,544 --> 00:19:56,628
Oh, Kay, please.
455
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,262
Now, just a minute, Kay.
456
00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:01,516
I'm sure there's a perfectly
logical explanation for this.
457
00:20:01,516 --> 00:20:03,134
Tell her, Roger.
458
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,388
Of course I'm Walter.
459
00:20:06,388 --> 00:20:08,022
I've been Walter
for 20 years.
460
00:20:08,557 --> 00:20:11,276
I am also Booby,
and I'm-- I'm Jack the Ripper.
461
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:12,894
- I'm-- I'm--
- [telephone rings]
462
00:20:14,529 --> 00:20:15,613
Hello?
463
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,782
Y-Yes. She's here.
464
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,951
Velma, it's for you.
465
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,036
A man!
466
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,373
Hello?
467
00:20:25,374 --> 00:20:27,542
It's me-- Walter.
468
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,245
Walter?!
469
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,498
What happened last night?
470
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:35,666
See? It couldn't
have been Roger.
471
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:40,004
I never doubted you
for a minute, doll. I'm sorry.
472
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:41,089
You're sorry.
473
00:20:43,258 --> 00:20:45,977
I don't know who
she was talking to last night.
474
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,146
There-- There was
just me and the horse.
475
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,652
What did you say, Walter?
476
00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:58,990
I'm sorry I had to leave
so suddenly last night, Velma.
477
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:02,778
Yes? Well...
I'll try to understand.
478
00:21:02,778 --> 00:21:04,946
I don't think
I'm good enough for you.
479
00:21:04,947 --> 00:21:06,031
Oh, Walter.
480
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:08,199
Well, I'm kind of
a drifter.
481
00:21:09,284 --> 00:21:10,918
You need a man
482
00:21:10,919 --> 00:21:13,087
with a steady job.
483
00:21:13,088 --> 00:21:16,341
A fine girl like you
needs a real man.
484
00:21:16,341 --> 00:21:17,959
- Oh, Walter.
- My trouble is...
485
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,044
Yes?
486
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:20,678
- Uh-oh.
- Yes?
487
00:21:21,763 --> 00:21:22,847
[Ed clears throat]
488
00:21:25,017 --> 00:21:26,101
Hello?
489
00:21:26,101 --> 00:21:28,803
Wal-- Hello!
490
00:21:28,804 --> 00:21:30,438
Ñh
Oh, he hung up!
491
00:21:30,973 --> 00:21:33,141
Oh, now
I'm all mixed up!
492
00:21:33,141 --> 00:21:35,860
- [sobs]
- Oh, Velma, now, sit down.
493
00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:38,563
Don't you worry.
Now, just calm down.
494
00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:39,647
[doorbell]
495
00:21:39,648 --> 00:21:41,282
Excuse me a minute,
please.
496
00:21:41,283 --> 00:21:45,070
[sobbing]
497
00:21:48,323 --> 00:21:51,042
How do you do?
I'm Henry Gibson.
498
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:53,745
I work for the Johnsons.
Is Miss Velma in?
499
00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:55,913
Yes. Velma?
500
00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:56,998
Come in, please.
501
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:02,420
Well, this is the worst trick
you have ever pulled.
502
00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:03,505
But, Wilbur, I--
503
00:22:03,505 --> 00:22:05,139
You know you broke
that woman's heart?
504
00:22:05,140 --> 00:22:07,308
- But, Wilbur--
- And look what you did to the Addisons.
505
00:22:07,309 --> 00:22:09,477
- But, Wilbur--
- All because of your big appetite.
506
00:22:09,478 --> 00:22:10,562
- But, Wilbur.
507
00:22:10,562 --> 00:22:12,730
All right. Go ahead.
It's your turn.
508
00:22:12,731 --> 00:22:15,984
If only Perry Mason
were here to defend me.
509
00:22:15,984 --> 00:22:18,686
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
510
00:22:20,322 --> 00:22:21,940
[Ed snorts loudly]
511
00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:25,193
[Carol]
Wilbur! Wilbur!
512
00:22:25,193 --> 00:22:28,446
Guess what.
Velma is engaged.
513
00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:30,081
To Roger?
514
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:33,869
Oh, stop. Henry,
the Johnsons' butler that she was going with,
515
00:22:33,869 --> 00:22:35,503
just showed up
and proposed.
516
00:22:35,504 --> 00:22:37,122
Well, that's wonderful!
517
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,756
Come on. She wants you
to meet him.
518
00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:40,375
Yeah, well, I'll--
I'll be there in a minute, honey.
519
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:41,459
Uh...
520
00:22:46,348 --> 00:22:47,966
This is lucky for you.
521
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,050
But, Wilbur...
522
00:22:49,051 --> 00:22:50,685
I was gonna send you
to bed tonight
523
00:22:50,685 --> 00:22:51,769
without any supper.
524
00:22:51,770 --> 00:22:53,388
But, Wilbur!
525
00:22:53,388 --> 00:22:55,556
Who do you think
called the Johnsons
526
00:22:55,557 --> 00:22:58,810
and got Henry Gibson
over here to propose?
527
00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:00,444
You!
528
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:02,063
How did you do it?
529
00:23:02,064 --> 00:23:05,317
I told him somebody
was runnin' off with his girl
530
00:23:05,317 --> 00:23:08,570
and if he liked her cookin',
he'd better hurry right over.
531
00:23:08,570 --> 00:23:11,289
Ed, why didn't
you tell me?
532
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:12,907
Because you bawled me out.
533
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:16,711
- But, Ed--
- Besides, who can get a word in with you around?
534
00:23:16,711 --> 00:23:19,964
- But, Ed--
- You're always jumping to conclusions.
535
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:22,667
- But, Ed--
- "But Ed, but Ed, but, Ed."
536
00:23:23,218 --> 00:23:25,386
Is that all you can say?
537
00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:27,555
But, Ed...
538
00:23:27,556 --> 00:23:30,258
♪ [ comedic]
539
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:36,898
May I propose
a toast to Kay's first home-cooked meal?
540
00:23:36,898 --> 00:23:37,982
- Well...
- [Kay chuckles]
541
00:23:37,983 --> 00:23:39,067
Thank you very much.
542
00:23:39,067 --> 00:23:40,685
Congratulations, Kay.
543
00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:41,769
Hope it's all right.
544
00:23:43,405 --> 00:23:44,489
[Kay] Ah.
545
00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:48,276
[crunch]
546
00:23:48,276 --> 00:23:49,910
♪ [comedic]
547
00:23:59,671 --> 00:24:03,458
Well...so much
for experimentation.
548
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:07,796
Well, it's...
not really...bad.
549
00:24:07,796 --> 00:24:09,931
Once you get it down.
550
00:24:11,016 --> 00:24:13,718
My dear, no-- no offense,
but, uh...
551
00:24:13,718 --> 00:24:15,352
would you mind
if we celebrated
552
00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:18,055
your first home-cooked dinner
at Pierre's Restaurant?
553
00:24:19,141 --> 00:24:22,394
Why, doll, I've already
made the reservations.
554
00:24:22,394 --> 00:24:24,028
[silverware clattering]
555
00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:26,731
[chatter, laughter]
556
00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,365
My darling.
557
00:24:28,366 --> 00:24:29,450
[laughter]
558
00:24:29,451 --> 00:24:32,153
Hmm. They're off
to a fancy restaurant,
559
00:24:32,154 --> 00:24:34,873
and I'm back
to barn-cooked meals.
560
00:24:38,126 --> 00:24:41,379
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
561
00:24:42,464 --> 00:24:44,632
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
562
00:24:44,633 --> 00:24:46,801
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
563
00:24:46,801 --> 00:24:48,969
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
564
00:24:48,970 --> 00:24:51,138
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
565
00:24:51,139 --> 00:24:53,307
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
566
00:24:53,308 --> 00:24:54,392
♪ He'll give youthe answer ♪
567
00:24:54,392 --> 00:24:55,476
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
568
00:24:56,011 --> 00:24:57,645
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
569
00:24:57,646 --> 00:24:59,814
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
570
00:24:59,814 --> 00:25:01,982
♪ People yakkity-yaka streak ♪
571
00:25:01,983 --> 00:25:04,151
♪ And wasteyour time of day ♪
572
00:25:04,152 --> 00:25:05,770
♪ But Mister Edwill never speak ♪
573
00:25:05,770 --> 00:25:07,938
♪ Unless he hassomething to say ♪
574
00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:10,107
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
575
00:25:10,659 --> 00:25:12,277
♪ And this one will talktill his voice is hoarse ♪
576
00:25:12,277 --> 00:25:14,996
♪ You never heardof a talking horse? ♪
577
00:25:16,615 --> 00:25:18,783
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
578
00:25:18,783 --> 00:25:22,586
[Mister Ed]♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
579
00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:30,178
[Announcer]This has been a Filmwaystelevision presentation.
40494
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