All language subtitles for S1E16-Psychoanalyst Show_Subtítulos01.ENG

[whinnies]

Hello.

I'm Mister Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you the answer
that you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

I receive so many letters
from you girls,

and the letters go like this.

Dear Jack LaLanne,
will you please show us

something to firm up
the hips?

All right. I want you
to lie on your side. Face me.

Then I want you to lift
your leg up high as you can.

Uh-oh.

Ready? Begin.

One and two.

That's it.
And higher and down.

Up, down, and rest.

One, two. That was fine.
Perfect.

Mm-hmm.

We're going to be
standing on our feet.

Everyone get up.
Come on, everyone up.

That's it. Up, up, up.

We always have somebody
that's a slow one.

So?

The next exercise
is dedicated to all of you

who want to have
a lovelier neck.

That's for me.

Let's all begin together.

Ready, go.

One, two.

That's it. Slowly.
Up and down and around. That's it.

And one, and two.

Great.

That feels good.

The next exercise
is to firm up the waistline,

so you can look
much nicer in your clothes.

Gee.

Right, then to the left.

Go with me. Ready? Begin.

One, two, one, two.

Swing it, Jack.

One, two. Get way out.

And swing.

Feel the waistline
tightening up?

One, two.

Out, in.

One, two, one, two.

One, two.

Ed, you
and this television set.

Aw, Wilbur.

You left it on again
last night.

I fell asleep.

That's no excuse.

Get me a remote control
and it won't happen.

Remote control. Huh!

Next thing you'll be asking for
is a color television.

Oh, no. I may be a horse,
but I'm not a pig.

Dishes. Just no end.

In our house,
my husband does them.

Kay, you're always joking.

I've been in your house
when you did the dishes.

Yeah, but that's only
on the nights when my husband does the cooking.

Hello, girls.

Oh, say, hi Wilbur.

I'm glad you came in.

Will you do me
a great favor?

You can have
anything I've got.

My horse, my house,
my mortgage.

That's exactly what I want.

Our mortgage?

Now that's what I call
being a good neighbor.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'd like to borrow Mr. Ed
for this Saturday.

Oh, you want to take him
for a ride?

Me? I wouldn't ride a horse

if he came with
white wall tires.

No, it's for
my little niece Peggy.

Oh, is she feeling
any better?

Quite a bit.
You know, I got a letter from her this morning,

and she wants
more than anything else

to ride Mr. Ed again.

Oh, sure. When's she coming
to town?

Well, she can't leave
Mountain Springs for a while.

She's still recuperating.

So I guess we'll just
have to take Mr. Ed up to see her.

Oh, honey, can we?

It's all right with me.

I don't think Ed
has anything planned for the weekend.

[gunshots]

Ah, thanks, Wilbur.

Killings, shootings, violence.

Is this for our children?

You know something, Ed?

We're going to see
little Peggy again.

Ah, swell.

When is she coming over?

Well, she's at
Mountain Springs,

still recuperating.

We're going up there.

Mountain Springs?

How high is that?

Oh, it's about 3,000 feet.

No, no, the deal's off.

Why?

I've got acrophobia.

Acrophobia?

That's a fear
of high places.

I know what it is,

but I didn't know horses
could be afraid of heights.

Why not? We're human.

Well, Mountain Springs
is only 3,000 feet.

Please. I get dizzy
when I look down my nose.

Ed, it's for little Peggy.

Don't you want to help her?

Sure, but let's face it,
Wilbur.

I'm yellow.

Ed.

I don't want
to talk about it anymore.

My horse is chicken.

That's right.

Ed, I promised Kay that we'd
go to Mountain Springs this weekend

to see her niece.

Oh, a fine thing.

All the favors
that I've done for you,

and this is the way
you repay me.

All right, you can just
forget about

that remote control set,
buddy boy--

Wilbur, to whom
are you talking?

Myself. Didn't you ever
talk to yourself?

Not since I've been married.

Are you all right?

Never better.

Look, about little Peggy--

I just talked with her
on the phone.

Wilbur, you have no idea
what a wonderful thing

you are doing
for that child.

Just the idea
of seeing Mr. Ed again

has filled that child's heart
with happiness.

Yeah. Well, Roger,
I'm afraid

you're going to have to
get yourself another horse.

Ed can't make it
this Saturday.

He can't make it? Why?

Is anything wrong with him?

Well, I--

Got a sore foot.

Peggy is going to be
terribly disappointed.

I'd better tell Kay.

Oh, no, I just
haven't got the heart

to call that child
and tell her the bad news.

I don't understand it.

When I saw Mr. Ed
this morning, he seemed perfectly all right.

Why don't we rent
another horse?

Peggy would never
know the difference.

Oh, of course she would.

It's very hard to fool
a little girl.

Kay, Kay, I'm sorry.

If it would help any,
I'd throw a saddle on my back

and let Peggy ride me.

- It's not your fault, Wilbur.
- [Mr. Ed neighs]

After all, if the horse--

Well, your horse
seems to have made a remarkable recovery.

Yeah, well, Ed suffers
from a chronic broken leg.

I mean, it comes and goes.

Well, I might as well
tell you the truth.

Ed's got acrophobia.

- Acrophobia?
- What?

Yeah, that's
a fear of heights.

Runs in the family.

Wilbur, you've been talking
very strangely today.

- Do you feel all right?
- I feel fine.

He just invented that story
so he wouldn't have to lend us his horse.

Oh, but Wilbur, you promised.

Honey, I'm sorry.

Acrophobia.

You know, I'm beginning
to develop a case of neighborphobia.

Come, dear.

Indian giver.

you believe me,
don't you?

Of course I believe
you're an Indian giver.

Ed, I think I've got it.

The answer to your problem
is hypnotism.

You see, Ed, you're suffering
from a phobia.

Would you stop
chewing those carrots when I'm talking to you?

You ain't hypnotizing me,
Svengali.

I'm just going to put you
into a little trance,

and then make a few
post-hypnotic suggestions

to your subconscious.

I got a better suggestion.

Give me back my carrot.

Yeah.

Now just do as I say now.

Watch the watch.

Now you're getting sleepy.

Sleepy.

Sleepy.

Your eyes are getting heavy.

You... are...

asleep.

♪ Rock-a-bye baby ♪

Now cut that out.

Ed, don't you want to lick
this height phobia

and help that little girl?

Okay, I won't horse around.

Okay, now don't talk at all.

Just make your mind
a complete blank.

This is ridiculous.

Relax.

You are getting sleepy.

Sleepy.

Sleepy.

[Ed] Uh-oh.

Keep your eye
on the nice new watch now.

Wilbur, what are you doing?

Huh? Oh.

Uh... Oh, I was...

just winding my watch.

Why don't you wind it
with that little knob on top?

Oh, well, I got tired
of winding it that way.

I thought I'd just break
the monotony of...

winding my watch.

Wilbur, do you feel all right?

Of course I feel all right.
Why do you always ask that?

Lunch will be ready
in a few minutes.

Thank you, honey.

Well, he certainly has been
acting rather odd.

Now, Carol, I don't want
to worry you,

but I caught Wilbur talking
to himself earlier today.

Yeah, and that business about
his horse having acrophobia.

And now, waving his watch
to wind it.

Roger, maybe there's
something on his mind that he can't tell me.

Will you please
have a talk with him?

Why, of course.
Now don't you worry.

Everything is going to be
all right. Just leave it to me.

Thank you, Roger.

Don't bother.

[door opens, closes]

What do you think, doll?

I think some psychiatrist
can start warming up his couch.

Maybe he does need psychiatry.

Why don't you
suggest it to him?

I will, but I'll
have to be very subtle.

You know those who need help
most usually resist.

Their id is in
a continual state of turmoil.

But I'll try.

Attaboy, Sigmund.

Well, winding your watch, I see.

Uh... uh, yeah. Yes.

Oh, that reminds me.

I forgot to wind mine.

Wilbur,

I need your advice.

Oh, yeah?

What can I do for you?

Well, um, it concerns
a friend of mine.

He's been under a good deal
of tension lately,

and he's acting
rather strangely.

I was wondering
what I could do to help him.

- How about a doctor?
- Psychiatrist. An excellent suggestion.

You know, there's a time
in every man's life

when he needs outside help

to get rid of his neuroses
and phobias.

Phobias.

I know just the doctor
for my friend.

>j
Well, look, I, uh--

I have a friend
who has that kind of problem.

Would you give me
your doctor's name and address?

Oh, why, sure.
Of course. Yes.

Well.

Here. Write it down.

Why...

Y-y-yeah, sure. Yeah.

Why are you writing
with a carrot?

Well, don't you always
write with a carrot?

No, no. I...

I use a pencil.

You better get a hold
of yourself, Roger.

Psychiatry.

I'm sure my friend
will appreciate this.

Uh, yes. Uh...

Here.

Thanks, Rog.

I'm worried about him, Ed.

He was trying to write
with a carrot.

Oh, well.

Dr. Bruce Gordon.

- Wilbur.
- Yeah?

No head-shrinkers for me.

Sure, Ed.

Hello. Dr. Bruce Gordon?

Well, this is Wilbur Post.

Roger Addison
recommended you to me.

Roger, it's him.

Yes, Mr. Post.
What can I do for you?

I'd like an appointment.

All right, Mr. Post.
When would be convenient?

Well, could you come
to my barn?

Your barn?

Yeah. I'd come
to your office,

but my horse won't ride
in the elevator.

He's in big trouble.

Your horse?

Yes, he's the patient.
He's afraid of heights.

This is a classic case.

He says he has a horse
that has a fear of heights.

So that's it.

Wilbur has acrophobia, and he's
afraid to let anyone know.

That's why he canceled
his trip to the mountains.

That's the least
of his worries.

Uh, I don't usually
make barn calls, Mr. Post.

But since you're
a friend of Roger's,

I'll-- I'll accommodate you.

Thank you, Doctor.

Can you be here
at 2:00 sharp?

Yes.

You see, my wife goes
to the beauty parlor,

so my horse and I
will be expecting you.

Good-bye.

Uh, good-bye.

Bruce, you're doing me
a great favor.

You're doing me a greater favor.

Why, this ought to get me
the lead article

in The Psychiatric Journal.

A horse. Interesting.

Well, Ed, Dr. Gordon
will be here at 2:00.

You're wasting your time.

I don't talk to anybody
except you.

Ed, please.

Don't worry.
I've thought of that.

I'm gonna make the doctor
believe that I am the patient.

How? We don't look alike.

Here's my plan.

The doctor will go
into my office.

I'll go into the stall
with you.

Behind closed doors,
he'll think he's talking to me.

[laughs]

He will be, 'cause I ain't
gonna be there.

Ed, please.

Please, Ed. Little Peggy.

This dear little girl
is recuperating,

and she wants to see you.

Now, Ed,

you want to help her,
don't you?

[sniffles]

Okay, okay.

Stop with the hearts
and flowers.

Why don't we go
into your office,

[lowers voice] Mr. Post?

I don't want my horse
to hear this.

Oh.

What if he did?

Then he wouldn't talk.

I see. Your horse talks.

Well, that's what
I want to tell you.

You see, you're going to be
the only other person

who knows that he does.

Good. Good.

I'm honored,
but let's get started.

I have a long paper to write
when this is over.

This way.

Now, Doctor, you go
into my office,

and I'll go into the stall,

and the next voice you hear
will be mine.

We're all set, Ed.

Okay, Doctor.
I'm ready when you are.

[Dr. Gordon] Now, Mr. Post,
I want you just to relax

and tell me all about yourself.

Now what is
your earliest recollection?

[Ed] Uh, at birth,

I weighed 68 pounds.

68 pounds?

Yep. I was an incubator baby.

About your acrophobia, Mr. Post,

when did the first syndrome
manifest itself?

Make him talk English.

He wants to know
when your phobia started.

Oh. Why didn't he say so?

[Ed] It's a family curse.

It, uh, started
when my great-grandfather

fell off a cliff.

How did that happen?

He was chasing a filly.

She made a sudden stop.

Va-va-va-voom!

Good-bye, Grandpa.

Yes, yes. Uh, go on.

After your grandfather
fell off the cliff,

what happened?

[Ed] Well, it kinda knocked
the wind out of that romance.

How old was your grandfather
at the time?

Uh, nine years old.

Uh, Mr. Post, I think
we've had enough for one day.

Will you come out now, please?

Doctor, before you go,
may I ask you one question?

Well, certainly.

[Ed splutters]

Doctor, how do you overcome
this fear of heights?

Well, we overcome a phobia
by doing the thing we fear.

Oh. You mean,

by forcing yourself
to climb to a high place,

you might conquer this fear?

- Precisely.
- [whispers] Louder.

[shouts] Precisely.

[loud voice] Thank you, Doctor.

[normal voice] I'll walk you
to your car.

What do you think, Doctor?

It's amazing.

This will make medical history.

You don't know
what a relief it is

to know that somebody else
besides me knows that my horse talks.

Fantastic case of schizophrenia.

Mr. Post, you are
part architect, part horse.

Well, I've been--

No, no. That's my horse
that was talking.

Doc, you gotta believe me.

Just relax.

The first step toward recovery
is knowing your illness.

I'm not sick.

Of course not.
Of course not.

Now about
your next appointment.

I don't need any appointment.
It's him.

Shall we say tomorrow?
In your stall or in my office?

It's not "my" stall.

I'm not a horse.

Good!

You see?
You're improving already.

Well, see you tomorrow.

Uh, don't call us.
We'll call you.

You heard
what the doctor said.

The only way
to lick your fear of heights

is by going up
to a high place.

You'll have to carry me.

I'll think of something.

Honey, how about a kiss?

Well...

How high are we?

Oh, just a few feet.

How much is "a few"?

Well, why don't you
take a look for yourself?

No, no, no!

Ed, you are a coward.

We've already
established that.

Come one, Ed. Look.

Can't. I'm in a trance.

Ed, come on. Take a look.

Fred, somebody's watching us.

I'll be right back, Bernice.

Come on. One little peek.

Hey, fella, what are you?
A peeping tom?

I beg your pardon?

- How long you gonna be here?
- Just a few minutes.

Well, hurry it up,
will you?

Why didn't you
belt him one?

Ed, you're being obvious.

You're just trying
to cause trouble

so he'll chase us away
from here, and you won't have to look down.

Come on, Bernice.

No. Not here.

That's telling him, Bernice.

Ed, be quiet.

You're getting me
in trouble.

Well, are you taking me down?

Not until you look
over the edge.

Come on, Bernice.

Don't kiss that slob, Ber--

You're really a joker,
aren't you?

- No, no. That wasn't me.
- Now listen.

I'm gonna tell you just once.

Beat it.

Make me, fatso.

Okay, buddy.
You asked for it.

[Ed] Shall I call
the boys, Wilbur?

Uh, yeah.

Fella's looking for trouble.
Gonna round up the whole gang.

They're just around the bend.

Now, look. Take it easy,
will you? Just forget it.

Forget it!

Okay, Ed. You win.

- [car door shuts]
- Let's go home.

[car engine starts]

Hey, Wilbur, look.

The San Fernando Valley.

Ed, you're looking
down there.

You beat the phobia.

Yeah. What do you know?

Ed, you're gonna make
a certain little girl

very happy tomorrow.

- Uh, Wilbur?
- What?

Has horse ever climbed
the Matterhorn?

Not yet.

Wilbur, wasn't it
worth the trip,

just seeing Peggy's face
light up when she saw Mr. Ed?

Yeah. Maybe we'll go up there
again next week, huh?

Honey, I'm so glad you're
your old self again.

Well, licking my fear of heights
had a lot to do with it.

I'm so proud of you, darling.

- Don't be too long, now.
- Be right with you.

[sighs] Ed, this has been
such an exciting day,

I doubt if I'll be able
to sleep tonight.

Uh, buddy boy,
look in my eyes.

You're getting sleepy.

Sleepy...

Sleepy...

[laughter]

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.