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1
00:00:01,918 --> 00:00:03,552
[whinnies]
2
00:00:03,553 --> 00:00:06,806
Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.
3
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,312
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
4
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,481
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
5
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:17,650
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
6
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,818
♪ Is the famousMister Ed ♪
7
00:00:19,819 --> 00:00:21,437
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
8
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,522
♪ He'll give youthe answer ♪
9
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:23,606
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
10
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,774
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
11
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,943
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
12
00:00:33,917 --> 00:00:36,619
[mumbling]
13
00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,787
3/4 of a mile at 11--
14
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:46,379
Good morning, Ed.
15
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,013
Good morn.
16
00:00:53,436 --> 00:00:55,604
Ed, what happened
to the sports section?
17
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:56,689
I'm reading it.
18
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,364
Hey, wait.
19
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:06,983
I'm not through yet.
20
00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:09,151
You know I like
to read it with my coffee.
21
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,405
Well, I like to read it
with my hay.
22
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,489
Well, I'm sorry.
23
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:17,827
Why did you mark
the horse races?
24
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:20,546
Oh, don't worry.
I'm not betting.
25
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:24,884
Hello, Roger.
26
00:01:24,884 --> 00:01:25,968
Want me to get you
a cup of coffee?
27
00:01:25,969 --> 00:01:27,053
No, thanks.
28
00:01:28,138 --> 00:01:28,671
Oh, what's this?
29
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,390
Are you playing the horses?
30
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:34,093
No, I even think
the merry-go-round is fixed.
31
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,262
Well, then who made
these selections?
32
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,684
Would you believe it
if I told you it was Mr. Ed?
33
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:45,488
Well, I'll tell you the truth.
34
00:01:45,488 --> 00:01:48,190
The little boy who delivers
the paper is a tout.
35
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,825
Wilbur, you surprise me.
36
00:01:49,826 --> 00:01:53,079
I thought you had more sense
than to play the races.
37
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,697
If you must throw
your money away,
38
00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:55,781
give it to your wife.
39
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,950
Believe me. I never gamble.
40
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,204
You know, I had a good friend
who lost a fortune on the races.
41
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,838
Then he started drinking.
42
00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:04,457
First, one bottle a day,
and then two.
43
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,176
Finally he was buying it
by the case.
44
00:02:07,177 --> 00:02:08,795
You know what happened
to that man?
45
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:09,879
Owns his own liquor store?
46
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,682
Wasn't funny to my friend.
47
00:02:13,683 --> 00:02:16,936
He lost his family,
his business, his home.
48
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,189
They darn near kicked him out
of the Harvard Club.
49
00:02:20,190 --> 00:02:22,358
Look, Roger, I appreciate
you concern,
50
00:02:22,358 --> 00:02:23,976
but believe me, it isn't
necessary.
51
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,611
[door closes]
52
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,780
Hello, girls.
53
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,398
How's the charity drive
coming along?
54
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:33,202
We've never had "no" said to us
in so many different ways.
55
00:02:33,203 --> 00:02:34,821
I never thought
it would be so hard
56
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:38,624
to collect money
for a milk fund.
57
00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,793
How much did you get?
58
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,580
Uh, $40.
59
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,749
Does that include the 20
I gave you this morning?
60
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,383
Uh-huh.
61
00:02:48,384 --> 00:02:50,552
Does that include the 20
I gave you this morning?
62
00:02:52,722 --> 00:02:54,340
I guess we didn't have
such a good day.
63
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,508
Hey, I have a thought.
64
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,762
Why not let Wilbur run your $40
into a few thousand
65
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:00,846
at the race track?
66
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,931
[Carol]
Race track?
67
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:03,565
Wilbur, you don't--
68
00:03:03,566 --> 00:03:05,734
W-Wilbur have you been betting
on the horses?
69
00:03:05,735 --> 00:03:07,353
Of course not, honey.
70
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,072
Oh, no. He just marked off these
horses' names
71
00:03:10,073 --> 00:03:11,157
because it's their birthday
72
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:12,775
and he wants to send them
some presents.
73
00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:16,028
Come, dear.
74
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,663
Wilbur, take my advice.
75
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:18,748
Forget the races.
76
00:03:18,748 --> 00:03:20,916
And, uh, just to remove
any temptation
77
00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:23,085
I'll take this along with me.
78
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,788
And, uh, incidentally,
you're saving a dime.
79
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,956
Yes, dear.
80
00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:32,928
Well, how about Mabel?
81
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,266
Well, if you deduct
what we spent
82
00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:39,969
for gas, stationery,
phone, and circulars
83
00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:44,306
our charity drive
has already lost $15.
84
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,475
Okay, thanks. Talk to you later.
85
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:52,448
May I come in?
86
00:03:52,448 --> 00:03:54,066
Oh, hi, Roger.
87
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,151
Is Wilbur here?
88
00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:56,235
He's upstairs.
89
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,870
Wilbur!
90
00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:00,038
You must be excited
about his luck today.
91
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:01,123
What luck?
92
00:04:01,124 --> 00:04:04,911
Why, your husband
picked eight winners.
93
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:05,995
Eight winners?
94
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,079
At the race track.
95
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,164
Well, here. Look for yourself.
96
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,883
Here are Wilbur's selections.
97
00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:12,501
And here are the winners.
98
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,586
Hi, Roger.
99
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,670
I'll be right back.
100
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,924
Honey, you-you picked
eight winners.
101
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,008
Winners?
102
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,642
Yes, at the race track.
103
00:04:20,643 --> 00:04:21,727
Oh, that's nice.
104
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:29,852
I picked eight winners?
105
00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:30,936
Here they are.
106
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,274
What do you know?
107
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,443
Eight in a row.
108
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,527
Not bad.
109
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,162
[laughs]
110
00:04:42,332 --> 00:04:43,950
What am I so happy about?
I didn't bet.
111
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,584
Sure, kid.
112
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:46,669
I didn't.
113
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,091
Will you excuse me, Roger.
I-I've got to feed Ed.
114
00:04:57,513 --> 00:04:59,681
Is it possible he didn't bet?
115
00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:01,300
Oh, I'm sure he didn't.
116
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,935
You say that so calmly.
117
00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,553
If I picked eight winners and
didn't bet,
118
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,188
my wife would be
on her way to Reno.
119
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,779
Ed, you picked eight winners.
120
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:17,033
Well, there were
only eight races.
121
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,904
Ed, how did you get so lucky?
122
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:22,988
Not luck.
123
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,157
Just horse sense.
124
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,326
You mean, you can
actually pick the horses?
125
00:05:27,877 --> 00:05:29,495
Better than you can pick people.
126
00:05:30,046 --> 00:05:31,130
What's the secret?
127
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,214
How do you do it?
128
00:05:32,215 --> 00:05:33,299
Simple.
129
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,001
I see who's running
and I pick the best.
130
00:05:38,721 --> 00:05:40,339
How do you know
so much about horses?
131
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,593
Isn't that a stupid question?
132
00:05:45,228 --> 00:05:46,846
Yes, yes.
133
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,014
Eight winners. That's amazing.
134
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,183
I got a reward for you.
135
00:05:53,903 --> 00:05:57,156
Hey, neighbor. Let me give you
a hand with that.
136
00:05:57,156 --> 00:05:59,858
Well, thanks. I think I can
manage from here.
137
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,493
Well, if a man can't help
a friend,
138
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:02,578
what good is he?
139
00:06:02,578 --> 00:06:04,196
That's true.
140
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,281
Oh, by the way, Wilbur,
141
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:08,000
you know you were
just lucky today.
142
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,702
You could never pick
eight winners in a row again.
143
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,253
Yes, I could.
144
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:12,338
But what's the difference?
145
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:13,422
You don't play the races.
146
00:06:13,423 --> 00:06:15,041
No, no, no, no, of course not.
147
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,125
I'm just interested
148
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,209
from the scientific
point of view.
149
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,844
Oh, oh.
150
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,013
Is that why you're being
so helpful this evening?
151
00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:22,631
Oh, Wilbur, please.
152
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,773
Now, uh, just to satisfy me,
153
00:06:30,773 --> 00:06:33,475
would you make some selections
for tomorrow?
154
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:36,195
I would rather not, Roger.
155
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,363
Admit it. You were just lucky.
156
00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:39,448
Once they get on the track,
157
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:42,702
nobody can tell what these
stupid animals are liable to do.
158
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:43,786
j@
[nickers]
159
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,573
Uh, look, Roger.
160
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,292
I don't...
161
00:06:53,546 --> 00:06:54,630
Okay, Roger.
162
00:06:54,630 --> 00:06:57,883
You call out the list
of tomorrow's entries,
163
00:06:57,884 --> 00:06:59,502
and I'll-I'll give you
the winners.
164
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,586
Good.
165
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,754
First race. Esteban?
166
00:07:03,306 --> 00:07:03,839
No.
167
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:04,924
Bleat Lady?
168
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:07,643
No.
169
00:07:07,643 --> 00:07:08,727
Sunny boy?
170
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:13,599
Sunny Boy? Uh, Sunny Boy?
171
00:07:17,403 --> 00:07:18,487
Yeah, that's-that's the winner.
172
00:07:18,488 --> 00:07:19,572
Sunny Boy.
173
00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:20,656
Sunny Boy?
174
00:07:20,656 --> 00:07:22,274
Well, he's 80 to 1.
175
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,909
According to this handicap,
176
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:27,163
he's never beaten any of these
other nags.
177
00:07:29,332 --> 00:07:33,119
Well, tomorrow he's running
for revenge.
178
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,838
I can hardly wait to check
the paper tonight.
179
00:07:35,838 --> 00:07:37,456
Then we'll see how good
you really are.
180
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,091
Now, the second race.
181
00:07:42,345 --> 00:07:43,963
Maybe the boy didn't deliver
the paper yet.
182
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,597
Could be up on the roof.
183
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:46,682
Kid's got a great pitching arm.
184
00:07:46,682 --> 00:07:48,300
Lots of speed but no control.
185
00:07:53,189 --> 00:07:54,807
Ah, here it is.
186
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:58,060
Yeah, now we'll cut
you down to size, my boy.
187
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,229
o(
Roger, are you a sporting man?
188
00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:01,313
What do you have in mind?
189
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,948
If I picked eight winners again,
190
00:08:02,949 --> 00:08:04,567
you carry me into the house.
191
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,735
If I didn't, I carry you.
192
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:07,820
You're on.
193
00:08:12,708 --> 00:08:15,410
You can put me down here,
driver.
194
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:18,130
What on earth is going on?
195
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,748
He never carried me
over the threshold.
196
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,917
My dear, you never picked
eight horses in a row.
197
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,552
Again?
198
00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:25,721
Yes, eight yesterday,
eight today.
199
00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:26,805
It's only 16 winners.
200
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,974
What's all the fuss about?
201
00:08:30,059 --> 00:08:32,227
Kay, how much money do we have
in the bank?
202
00:08:32,228 --> 00:08:34,396
Oh, how fabulous!
We'll all be rich.
203
00:08:34,397 --> 00:08:36,015
My mink will be wearing sable.
204
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,734
Aladdin had his lamp,
we have our Wilbur.
205
00:08:39,268 --> 00:08:41,987
I wonder when
the new model yachts come out.
206
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:43,606
How do you pick them?
207
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,774
Yes, when did you find out
you had this power?
208
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,409
Tell us, swami.
209
00:08:47,410 --> 00:08:49,578
Okay, it all happened
two days ago.
210
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:52,280
I was sitting in the barn
concXientrating on some sketche.
211
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:53,915
All of the sudden,
212
00:08:53,916 --> 00:08:56,618
I had a strange sensatoion.
213
00:08:56,619 --> 00:09:00,956
I found myself circling horses
on the sports page.
214
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:02,591
Too sour, too sour.
215
00:09:09,599 --> 00:09:10,683
May I touch you?
216
00:09:10,683 --> 00:09:12,317
Wilbur, what time do we leave
for the track tomorrow?
217
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,571
Why wait for tomorrow?
Aren't there any night races?
218
00:09:15,571 --> 00:09:16,655
Our milk drive.
219
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:18,823
Honey, if you pick a few horses,
220
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,442
we'll have
all the money we need.
221
00:09:20,443 --> 00:09:22,611
Milk drive?
Why, with Wilbur on our side,
222
00:09:22,612 --> 00:09:24,246
those kids are going to be
drinking champagne.
223
00:09:24,247 --> 00:09:28,034
Roger, I don't bet and I thought
you were opposed to gambling.
224
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,668
My boy, backing you
is not gambling.
225
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,287
It's hoarding. Now get busy.
Pick it, go ahead.
226
00:09:31,287 --> 00:09:32,371
Get him a pencil.
227
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:34,539
Pencil? Here, Wilbur,
take my pen.
228
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,624
Keep it. Go on.
229
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:37,793
I don't like to bet.
230
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:43,766
You bet for matchsticks,
we'll bet for money.
231
00:09:43,766 --> 00:09:45,384
Honey, for the charity drive,
please.
232
00:09:50,273 --> 00:09:52,441
Well, if it's for charity.
233
00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:56,228
I better go in the barn
and concentrate.
234
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:57,312
You want me to carry you?
235
00:09:57,313 --> 00:09:58,397
I'll help.
236
00:09:58,397 --> 00:09:59,481
Please.
237
00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:03,819
What a brilliant man I married.
238
00:10:03,819 --> 00:10:05,987
Oh, he's not just yours now,
Carol.
239
00:10:05,988 --> 00:10:08,156
He belongs to the world.
240
00:10:10,293 --> 00:10:11,377
Hollywood Park.
241
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,461
5,000,000.
242
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:14,079
Hialeah.
243
00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:16,248
5,000,000.
244
00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:20,051
Hey, what do you mean you can't
pick any more winners?
245
00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:21,670
I don't like betting for money.
246
00:10:21,671 --> 00:10:24,390
It's against my principles.
247
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:25,474
You got me into this.
248
00:10:25,474 --> 00:10:26,558
They think I have the power.
249
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,177
What can I tell them?
250
00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:30,345
Tell them you blew a fuse.
251
00:10:34,684 --> 00:10:35,234
Aqueduct.
252
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,402
Short season, 3,000,000.
253
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,021
Add them up.
254
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:43,358
25,000,000.
255
00:10:43,359 --> 00:10:46,078
Give the government 24,000,000.
256
00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:48,246
Oh, well, easy come, easy go.
257
00:10:49,865 --> 00:10:51,499
Oh, back so soon?
258
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,668
Where are your selections?
259
00:10:53,669 --> 00:10:55,287
I don't have them.
260
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:58,006
You-you-- Oh, you left them
in your office, huh?
261
00:10:58,007 --> 00:10:59,625
I'll go get them.
Here, sit down, my boy.
262
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,709
Sit right here. Relax.
263
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:03,429
Roger...
264
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:04,513
I haven't got any.
265
00:11:05,047 --> 00:11:06,131
You haven't?
266
00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,851
Oh, you don't
like the horses today, huh?
267
00:11:08,851 --> 00:11:11,019
Well, that's all right.
We'll pick them some other day.
268
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:14,273
You know, nothing lost except
the interest on the money.
269
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:17,526
Roger, I'm afraid I'm never
going to pick the horses again.
270
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:21,864
Roger, I'm--
271
00:11:21,864 --> 00:11:23,482
I must have lost the knack.
272
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:25,650
I tried, but it just
wouldn't come.
273
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:28,904
Sorry, Roger.
274
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:40,299
Why, darling, what's wrong?
275
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:43,001
We've been wiped out.
276
00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:45,721
What? What happened?
277
00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:48,974
Now I know how Benedict Arnold's
wife must have felt.
278
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:51,676
Come, dear. We are not
in the house of a friend.
279
00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:52,761
What happened--
280
00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:53,846
Please, my dear.
281
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,480
I'm not well.
282
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:07,659
Just look at them.
283
00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,362
I wish Roger would start talking
to Wilbur.
284
00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:14,165
If only Wilbur would let him win
a few races.
285
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,784
Oh, it's not Wilbur's fault
286
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,503
he lost the knack
of picking horses.
287
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,122
Does he ever talk in his sleep?
288
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:21,757
Sometimes.
289
00:12:21,757 --> 00:12:23,925
Well, if he ever mumbles
a long shot,
290
00:12:23,926 --> 00:12:25,010
jot it down.
291
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:35,854
x
I just read about a wonderful new spray for roses.
292
00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,107
It's a home-made dust.
293
00:12:39,108 --> 00:12:42,895
You mix
nine parts of dusting sulfur
294
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,063
with one part
of arsenate of lead.
295
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:47,783
Who's going
to win the first race?
296
00:12:47,783 --> 00:12:49,951
I don't know.
297
00:12:49,952 --> 00:12:51,570
Go play with your arsenate.
298
00:13:03,499 --> 00:13:04,583
Huh-uh.
299
00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:20,849
Ed?
300
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,484
Huh-uh.
301
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,737
Ed, just one winner?
302
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,608
Just the seventh race?
303
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:31,693
The big one?
304
00:13:31,694 --> 00:13:33,862
No, I couldn't live with myself.
305
00:13:33,863 --> 00:13:36,031
Ed, please.
306
00:13:36,031 --> 00:13:39,284
May I quote you
from Oscar Wilde?
307
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:40,919
Oscar Wilde?
308
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,173
He does not win
who plays with sin.
309
00:13:44,173 --> 00:13:47,426
Well, I've got one for you.
310
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:50,128
He gets no dinner
who picks no winner.
311
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,297
What fool said that?
312
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,382
I did.
313
00:13:53,382 --> 00:13:56,101
I mean--
314
00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:58,803
All right, I don't need
your help.
315
00:13:59,355 --> 00:14:02,608
I'll pick
the seventh race myself.
316
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,861
It's easy. Uh...
317
00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:08,029
Devil's Tail.
318
00:14:10,199 --> 00:14:11,283
Is it going to win?
319
00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:16,704
Is it going to lose?
320
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:19,408
Is it a horse?
321
00:14:20,492 --> 00:14:23,745
I think we need some fresh air.
322
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,252
Oh, I guess I shouldn't
have volunteered
323
00:14:30,252 --> 00:14:31,336
to head our charity drive.
324
00:14:31,887 --> 00:14:34,055
Maybe one of the other girls
could do a better job.
325
00:14:34,056 --> 00:14:36,224
Oh, don't blame yourself,
sweetie.
326
00:14:36,225 --> 00:14:37,843
It's the kids
I'm thinking about.
327
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:40,011
That milk fund's very important
to them.
328
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:42,180
Too bad we didn't make
some bets yesterday
329
00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,900
when Wilbur picked
all those winners.
330
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,068
Do you really think he's lost
his touch?
331
00:14:47,069 --> 00:14:48,687
[Carol]
Oh, he must have.
332
00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:50,321
He certainly wouldn't refuse
to pick winners
333
00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:51,940
to help a cause like this.
334
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:57,913
Say, Wilbur.
335
00:14:57,913 --> 00:14:58,997
Yeah?
336
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:02,785
You should've told me
it was for the milk fund.
337
00:15:04,954 --> 00:15:07,673
You're going to pick
today's winners?
338
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,291
Only for today.
339
00:15:09,291 --> 00:15:11,459
Oh, thanks, Ed.
340
00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:14,713
Imagine picking Devil's Tail.
341
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:18,516
That horse will finish
two lengths behind his own tail.
342
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,135
Thanks, Ed.
343
00:15:20,135 --> 00:15:21,219
Stop it.
344
00:15:23,939 --> 00:15:25,023
Wait until I tell them.
345
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:26,642
There must be some other way
to make money.
346
00:15:26,642 --> 00:15:29,361
Carol! Kay!
347
00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:30,445
I've got the touch again.
348
00:15:30,446 --> 00:15:32,064
I'm going to pick
the winners today.
349
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:33,148
Oh, darling.
350
00:15:33,148 --> 00:15:34,782
Oh, I'll tell Addison.
Addi--
351
00:15:34,783 --> 00:15:36,401
Thank heaven,
you've come home to us.
352
00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:38,036
Aren't you angry at me anymore?
353
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,121
Golden boy.
354
00:15:39,121 --> 00:15:41,289
Was I ever angry with you?
355
00:15:47,796 --> 00:15:50,498
I'll need a few minutes alone
to make my selection.
356
00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:51,583
Oh, of course, of course.
357
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:52,667
Everybody, out of the yard.
358
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:53,752
My friend wants privacy.
359
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:54,836
Out, out, out.
360
00:15:54,837 --> 00:15:55,921
Ah, doll.
361
00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:57,005
Shh.
362
00:15:57,006 --> 00:16:00,259
Do you think I look better
in a blue yacht or a pink one?
363
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:01,893
Don't be chincy, dear.
364
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:02,978
Buy both.
365
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:10,018
[Caller]In the eighth race, Big Blue--
366
00:16:10,019 --> 00:16:13,272
Five pounds over at 118 pounds.
367
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:19,778
Uh, King's Ransom to win.
That's number 3.
368
00:16:20,863 --> 00:16:22,497
Thank you.
369
00:16:23,032 --> 00:16:24,666
Number 3, or course.
370
00:16:24,667 --> 00:16:26,835
Buddy boy.
371
00:16:26,835 --> 00:16:29,537
[Caller]The horses are approachingthe starting gate.
372
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:30,622
Let's go, honey.
373
00:16:30,622 --> 00:16:32,790
Oh, I hope we win.
374
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:36,044
Oh, I can see those mink sails
on my yacht now.
375
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:38,764
[Caller]Starting gate.
376
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,466
The flag is up.
377
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,101
[cheering]
378
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:45,270
And they're comingaround the turn.
379
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:46,354
It's Cliver in front.
380
00:16:46,355 --> 00:16:49,608
Followed by Blue Boy,Windstorm...
381
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:51,226
Where are you going, honey?
382
00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:53,394
I want to be first in line
to collect my money.
383
00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,029
We've got King's Ransom.
384
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:56,648
And he's dead last.
385
00:16:59,368 --> 00:17:00,452
Oh, I knew he couldn't do it.
386
00:17:00,452 --> 00:17:02,620
Three days in a row.
387
00:17:02,621 --> 00:17:04,789
And at the top of the stretchit's Cliver.
388
00:17:04,790 --> 00:17:06,408
Cliver moving onat the round of the haul.
389
00:17:06,408 --> 00:17:08,576
Here comes King's Ransom.
390
00:17:08,577 --> 00:17:12,380
It's King's Ransompulling ahead.
391
00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:15,083
Coming down the line,and it's King's Ransom.
392
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:15,634
[cheering]
393
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,802
Wait for me, golden boy.
394
00:17:19,421 --> 00:17:22,674
Four winners in a row
and all long shots.
395
00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:23,758
You're a genius.
396
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:26,477
Four long shots in a row?
397
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:28,646
What's he got in this one?
398
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:30,265
Lady's Choice. Can't lose.
399
00:17:30,265 --> 00:17:31,899
[Man]
Lady's Choice, please.
400
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:34,068
Follow my friend's advice.
It's like stealing money.
401
00:17:34,069 --> 00:17:35,687
Lady's Choice.
402
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,490
Likewise.
403
00:17:42,711 --> 00:17:44,879
Wilbur, aren't you going
to watch the race?
404
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,498
Why bother walking
back to the box?
405
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:48,132
Let's just wait here
for our money.
406
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,920
He sure is confident, ain't he?
407
00:17:52,471 --> 00:17:55,724
My friend, a bank would lend you
any amount on his predictions.
408
00:17:59,511 --> 00:18:00,595
[cheering]
409
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,074
Number 4, please.
410
00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:16,327
Thank you.
411
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:17,412
Number 4.
412
00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:20,665
Likewise.
413
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:24,452
Likewise.
414
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,128
[cheering]
415
00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:45,607
Well, who's going to win
the next race, oh wise one?
416
00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:49,394
Oh, my, uh, my selection is
417
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,028
Blue Bell.
418
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,113
[all]
Blue Bell!
419
00:18:56,451 --> 00:18:58,069
Will you come along with me,
please?
420
00:19:02,407 --> 00:19:04,041
Mr. Post,
421
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,210
According to Detective Weams
422
00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:08,913
you picked
six long shots in a row.
423
00:19:09,464 --> 00:19:11,082
Is that against the law?
424
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,717
Oh, of course not.
425
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:14,886
But as steward of this track,
426
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:17,055
I am naturally curious
about your good fortune.
427
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:18,139
Naturally.
428
00:19:18,674 --> 00:19:21,393
Have you been getting advice
for any of the jockeys?
429
00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:24,095
- No, sir.
- The owners? The trainers?
430
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,815
Then who has been advising you?
431
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:31,152
My horse.
432
00:19:33,322 --> 00:19:36,575
Mr. Post, you promised
to cooperate.
433
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:39,828
Will you please tell us who
has been giving you these tips.
434
00:19:39,828 --> 00:19:40,912
Ed.
435
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,531
Ed who?
436
00:19:42,531 --> 00:19:44,699
My horse
doesn't have a last name.
437
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:49,037
He must have a last name.
438
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,290
I see that we're not getting
anywhere.
439
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,010
Gentlemen, I can clear
this whole thing up
440
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:56,094
with one phone call.
441
00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:57,712
May I use your phone.
442
00:19:57,713 --> 00:19:59,347
- Go right ahead.
- Thank you.
443
00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:08,556
[phone ringing]
444
00:20:08,557 --> 00:20:10,191
Post residence.
445
00:20:10,192 --> 00:20:11,810
Hello, Ed. It's me.
446
00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,444
I'm at the race track.
447
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:17,232
Ed, isn't it true
448
00:20:17,232 --> 00:20:19,400
that you've been giving me
all the winners today?
449
00:20:21,036 --> 00:20:24,289
Sure, I gave you
all the winners.
450
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,991
Hello, this is Mr. Gray,
the steward.
451
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:28,076
Who is this?
452
00:20:28,076 --> 00:20:30,244
Mr. Ed, the horse.
453
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,301
I don't know
what you're doing, Post,
454
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:40,555
but whatever it is, stop it.
455
00:20:40,555 --> 00:20:41,639
Yes.
456
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:49,231
Oh, if either of you gentlemen
want to bet the seventh race,
457
00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:50,315
the winner will
be Prince Charming.
458
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:51,933
Prince Charming?
459
00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:53,018
Yes, my horse just told me
460
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:55,186
that Mrs. Prince Charming
had a baby last week,
461
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:58,440
so he'll be trying
to win for the kid.
462
00:21:04,947 --> 00:21:06,031
What happened to your friend?
463
00:21:06,031 --> 00:21:08,199
Yeah, who are we going
to bet on the seventh race?
464
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,834
I don't know.
465
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,453
Oh, yes, I do. Here he is.
466
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:14,172
[all talking]
467
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:15,256
Quiet! Quiet!
468
00:21:15,257 --> 00:21:17,959
Please, cut, everybody. Please.
469
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,594
Uh...
470
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:23,381
It is Prince Charming.
471
00:21:23,932 --> 00:21:25,016
[all shouting]
Prince Charming!
472
00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:35,310
[Caller]Attention, Prince Charming,number 7
473
00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:36,944
has been declared.
474
00:21:36,945 --> 00:21:40,198
Hey, did you hear that?
475
00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:42,900
Prince Charming was declared.
What's your next choice?
476
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,535
[all shouting]
477
00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:46,154
Please, please, please.
478
00:21:46,154 --> 00:21:47,788
Don't panic.
479
00:21:47,789 --> 00:21:50,491
My goodness, there's plenty
of money for everybody.
480
00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:53,745
Well, Wilbur?
481
00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:54,295
I don't know.
482
00:21:54,296 --> 00:21:57,549
Prince Charming
was my only choice.
483
00:21:57,549 --> 00:22:00,251
[Man]
Oh, come on. You got to have some other one you like.
484
00:22:00,802 --> 00:22:02,970
Look at all the horses
that are running.
485
00:22:02,971 --> 00:22:03,504
[Man]
Come on.
486
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:05,140
Gentlemen,
487
00:22:05,140 --> 00:22:07,842
he has circled Devil's Tail.
488
00:22:07,843 --> 00:22:08,927
[all shouting]
Devil's Tail!
489
00:22:13,815 --> 00:22:16,517
[Caller]The horses areat the starting gate.
490
00:22:16,518 --> 00:22:18,686
The big race is going
to start pretty soon.
491
00:22:18,687 --> 00:22:20,321
The girls had better hurry back.
492
00:22:20,856 --> 00:22:22,490
What's the rush?
We didn't bet this race.
493
00:22:22,491 --> 00:22:24,659
We put all our winnings
on Devil's Tail.
494
00:22:25,193 --> 00:22:26,277
Well, that's right.
495
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,446
I may sell my house
and move into my bank.
496
00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:30,081
What did you do?
497
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,166
Who told you
to bet on Devil's Tail?
498
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:32,784
I did.
499
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:36,037
I borrowed your newspaper
from your pocket.
500
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:38,756
That horse can't win.
501
00:22:38,757 --> 00:22:40,375
I picked it myself this morning.
502
00:22:40,375 --> 00:22:42,009
You picked all of them, darling.
503
00:22:42,010 --> 00:22:43,628
[Caller]And they're off and running.
504
00:22:43,628 --> 00:22:44,712
[cheering]
505
00:22:47,966 --> 00:22:49,050
You shouldn't have bet
on Devil's Tail.
506
00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:50,685
He hasn't got a chance.
507
00:22:50,685 --> 00:22:52,303
[Caller]Out in front, it's Devil's Tail
508
00:22:52,854 --> 00:22:53,938
on top by one length.
509
00:22:53,939 --> 00:22:57,726
It's six winners.
How greedy can you--
510
00:22:57,726 --> 00:23:00,445
It's Devil's Tailby one length.
511
00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:03,698
Remember, I-I picked him.
512
00:23:03,698 --> 00:23:04,782
All by myself.
513
00:23:04,783 --> 00:23:08,036
It's Devil's Tale,now by five lengths.
514
00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:10,739
I was just sitting
in the office, you know.
515
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:12,907
Nobody helped me.
516
00:23:12,908 --> 00:23:16,161
Just by sheer logic I decided
to take on Devil's Tail.
517
00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:20,498
And here come Silk Ladyon the outside.
518
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:23,218
She's closingin on Devil's Tail.
519
00:23:23,218 --> 00:23:27,555
Coming around the corner,it's Silk Lady.
520
00:23:28,090 --> 00:23:30,809
Silk Lady, by half a length.
521
00:23:30,809 --> 00:23:32,977
[cheering]
522
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:34,596
We have a winner,and it's Silk Lady.
523
00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:47,075
Well, you can't win them all.
524
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:02,840
I can't bear to think of it.
525
00:24:02,841 --> 00:24:06,094
My pretty, blue yacht sank
in the seventh race.
526
00:24:06,094 --> 00:24:08,262
My 12 apartment buildings.
527
00:24:08,263 --> 00:24:10,431
Think of all that money
528
00:24:10,432 --> 00:24:13,685
we could've had
for that milk fund.
529
00:24:13,685 --> 00:24:15,303
Oh, wait a minute, honey.
530
00:24:16,938 --> 00:24:19,106
Here's some money
for your milk fund.
531
00:24:19,641 --> 00:24:22,894
Wh-wh-where did you get
all this money?
532
00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:25,613
I didn't bet
on the seventh race.
533
00:24:25,614 --> 00:24:27,232
You didn't?
534
00:24:27,232 --> 00:24:29,400
My mother didn't raise me
to be a gambler.
535
00:24:31,036 --> 00:24:32,654
Oh, Wilbur.
536
00:24:32,654 --> 00:24:34,288
Right there. Right there.
537
00:24:39,711 --> 00:24:42,964
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
538
00:24:42,964 --> 00:24:45,132
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
539
00:24:45,133 --> 00:24:47,301
♪ And no one can talkto a horse, of course ♪
540
00:24:47,302 --> 00:24:49,470
♪ That is, of course,unless the horse ♪
541
00:24:49,471 --> 00:24:51,639
♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪
542
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,808
♪ Go right to the sourceand ask the horse ♪
543
00:24:53,808 --> 00:24:54,892
♪ He'll give youthe answer ♪
544
00:24:54,893 --> 00:24:55,977
♪ That you'll endorse ♪
545
00:24:56,511 --> 00:24:58,145
♪ He's alwayson a steady course ♪
546
00:24:58,146 --> 00:25:00,314
♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪
547
00:25:00,315 --> 00:25:02,483
♪ People yakkity-yaka streak ♪
548
00:25:02,484 --> 00:25:04,652
♪ And wasteyour time of day ♪
549
00:25:04,653 --> 00:25:06,271
♪ But Mister Edwill never speak ♪
550
00:25:06,271 --> 00:25:08,439
♪ Unless he hassomething to say ♪
551
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,608
♪ A horse is a horse,of course, of course ♪
552
00:25:11,159 --> 00:25:12,777
♪ And this one will talktill his voice is hoarse ♪
553
00:25:12,777 --> 00:25:15,496
♪ You never heardof a talking horse? ♪
554
00:25:17,115 --> 00:25:19,283
♪ Well, listen to this ♪
555
00:25:19,284 --> 00:25:23,087
[Mister Ed]♪ I am Mister Ed ♪
556
00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:30,678
[Man]This has been a Filmwaystelevision presentation.
38680
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