All language subtitles for S1E12-Eds Mother_Subtít

[whinnies]

Hello, I'm Mr. Ed.

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse of course ♪

♪ That is, of course,
unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous
Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

♪ He'll give you
the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

Right there by that fence,
honey.

Perfect spot for a picture.

Okay, honey.

Addison, doll.

How about a picture of you?

Those baby blue eyes would look
beautiful in color.

I don't deny that, my dear,

but I'm a little weary.

Oh, please. Just one picture
for my wallet?

That will be the closest

I've been to my money
in a long time.

Hold it just a minute
while I focus, honey.

Howdy, folks.

Oh, darn.

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
Did I spoil your snapshot?

Well, that's okay.

She's got special rates for
group pictures.

Ah. You folks interested maybe

in buying some do-dads
for the house?

I'm running an auction
here this Sunday.

Auction?

What auction? Where?

What are they selling
and how many to a customer?

Auction? Where?

Kay, let's go home.

Come this Sunday.
You'll be able to pick up

some real fine bargains
at Z. Dowd's.

I'm selling everything
on this farm from soup to nuts.

We have plenty of both.
Thank you.

Come on. Let's go.

Oh, I've got to see
what he's selling.

Right this way, ma'am,
through the gates.

That woman will buy anything.

To Kay, the world is
just one big department store.

Come on, Roger. It's only money.

I'm glad it's yours.

Well, thank you.

Sit up on the fence
for one more, honey.

All right.

Oh, move over just a little bit.

I want to get the horse
in the background.

Make it look real country.

Okay.

Sit back a little more.

Oh, a little more.

Wilbur?

Where are you?

Wilbur!

Oh, honey, are you all right?

I don't know.

Does that camera
take x-ray pictures?

[laughing]

There is nothing funny
about falling off a fence.

It could happen to anybody.

Uh, never happened to me.

[laughing]

[Roger]
Wilbur, are you in there?

Yes, Roger.

Shh.

Wilbur,

I picked up your snapshots
at the drug store.

Oh, thank you, Roger.
How much do I owe you?

Nothing if-if you will help me
on the this auction business.

Oh, Kay still wants to go
to that auction on Sunday, huh?

That's all she talks about.

She wants to pick up
a few things for our backyard.

Like what?

Oh, a wagon wheel, a kerosene
lamp, an old water pump.

She would buy the farmer
if he were marked down.

I don't think
that my wife's any different.

Now remember, we've got
to stick together on this.

No auction this Sunday.

Right?

Right.

[laughing]

Oh, brother.

cn
[laughing]

What's so funny?

When I fell off the fence,

all Carol got was a picture
of an old plow horse.

Don't laugh.

Some of my best friends
pull plows.

Let me see it.

Wait till Carol sees this shot.

Uh-huh.

Wait a minute.

What's the matter, Ed?

That horse in the picture.

What about her?

She's my mother.

Well, there she is.

Are you sure that's your mother?

That's Mama.

Go ahead. Go over to her.

How do I look?

You look fine.

Is my hair combed?

Yes, now look.
Stop being so nervous.

Mom taught us kids to be neat.

Your hair is combed.
Your shoes are shined.

You look great. Go over to her.

[clears throat]
Okay.

Fine looking horse
you got there, mister.

Oh, hello, Mr. Dowd.

Say, ain't you the fellow

that fell off my fence
a couple of days ago.

That's right.

Hey, your horse seems
to like Betsy.

I'll sell it to you real cheap.

Of course she ain't nothing
but a broken-down, old plug.

[whinnies]

What's wrong with him?

You insulted his mother.

His mother?

Yeah. He recognized her
from a snapshot we took.

Who recognized her?

Her son.

My horse. He did.

Well, uh, excuse me.

I-- I've got
some butter to churn.

#t
Calling Mom an old plug.

I should have kicked him
in his rutabaga.

Ed, please.
Mr. Dowd didn't mean it.

Hello, Betsy.
You've got a wonderful son.

No use, Wilbur.
She doesn't understand.

You mean, she doesn't talk
like you?

Nope, I'm the only black sheep
in the family.

Well, then how do you
communicate with her?

Horse talk.

You know, we were here
before people.

Tell her I like her.

[grunting]

Okay, buy my mother
and let's go home.

Gee, I-I don't know, Ed.

I'm going to have
to ask Carol first.

But I don't want my mother
pulling a plow.

I know how you feel, Ed.

Well, tell your mother
I'll do my best.

Carol.

Yes?

Come here, dear.

Oh, I've missed you.

We've been together all evening.

No, we haven't.

You've been
in that kitchen for 5 minutes.

Oh, Wilbur.

You know when I miss you most?

When I'm on my horse.

c+
- What? - Yeah.

You know, some days
when I'm riding along on Mr. Ed

I just wish you were
right there with me.

Wouldn't it be a little crowded
in the saddle?

Carol...

I've been thinking
about buying you a horse.

Two horses?

Oh, isn't that
a little extravagant?

I mean the upkeep and--

Oh, what's money

when you're riding
alongside the woman you love?

Wilbur, you know
I don't ride very well.

Yeah, I know, and that's why
I was looking around

and I found a real gentle horse.

You'll love her.

Oh, where did
you find this horse?

Well, you remember
that picture you took

when I fell off the fence?


Mm-hmm.

No.

You mean you want me to ride
that decrepit, old plow horse?

Please.

You're talking
about somebody's mother.

Forget it, Wilbur. We just don't
need two horses.

I'll make a deal with you.

You ride Ed
and I'll ride the plow horse.

That's absurd.

I'll finish the dishes
and we'll go to a movie, huh?

Don't worry, Mama.

You're not going to pull
that plow much longer.

I know I was a kooky kid,

but I've sowed my wild oats.

I'm going to take care
of you in your old age.

Hi, Ed.

Hi, Wilbur.

When do we pick up Mother?

I'm afraid
I've got some bad news.

Carol just doesn't want
another horse.

- Oh.
- Look, I'm not giving up.

Now, she wants to go
to a movie tonight,

so I'll pick
a real sentimental one.

Maybe this will soften her up.

Chin up, Mom.

Your little Edward
ain't letting you down.

I isn't.

♪ Mother you are growing old ♪

♪ Silver threads
among the gold ♪

[door bell]

Oh, come in, neighbors.

Oh, hi, kids.
Too late for a cup of coffee.

No, come on in.

Oh, good.
How was the picture, darlings?

Great, just great.

All about a son's love
for his mother.

We're not getting another horse.

Is that the name of the picture?

Wilbur wants to buy
that plow horse

we saw at the farm
the other day.

Oh, that's the place we're going
to this Sunday.

Kay, dear, I told you we are not
going to that auction.

She's a real sweet horse.

But all I want to do is pick up
a few things for the backyard.

It was our front yard before she
started adding things.

She's the gentlest thing
you've ever seen.

You wouldn't think so
if you lived with her.

I'm talking about the horse.

We're not getting any horse.

Did my husband call me a horse?

I'm talking about Ed's mother.

Ed's mother?

He had one, you know.

Well, most of us do.

Will somebody please tell me
what we're talking about.

My husband wants
to buy another horse.

This is not just another horse.

This is Ed's mother.

Really?

How do you know?

He says that Mr. Ed
recognized his mother

from the picture I took.

Pardon me, I've got
to bed down my horse.

Does he really want to buy
that old plow horse?

Well, you know
how Wilbur loves animals.

If it were up to him,
we'd be living in a zoo.

Well?

I'm sorry, Ed.
Carol said no again.

Did you tell her it's my mother?

Yeah.

She just doesn't believe me.

Does she want to see
my birth certificate?

I'm sorry, Ed.

It's hopeless.

Uh, Wilbur.

Yeah?

Would you let
your mother pull a plow?

Big deal.

Where's the phone directory?

I'll call Dowd myself.

Hello, Ed.

Hello.

Don't worry, Mom.

What is your mother doing here?

What mother?

How did she get in here?

You bought her.

Me?

What are you talking about?

Okay, so I bought her.

What did you do?

I called up Dowd and I told him
I was your business manager.

You didn't.

Just send him a check for $50.

Oh, I got to keep Carol
out of here.

Carol's coming.

If she sees your mother,
she'll kick us both out.

Don't let her come in here.

But how? How am I going
to keep her out?

Filibuster.

Honey, I brought you some lunch.

A sandwich and some milk
and some cookies.

Thank you. I'll eat it out here.

In this wind.

What wind?

Oh, Wilbur.

I like to eat outdoors.
It's-it's invigorating.

Oh, honey. I don't have time.
I have a roast in the oven.

You shouldn't
have done this, Ed.

Carol is going to think I did it
behind her back.

Look at her, Wilbur.
Isn't she beautiful?

I better to find a place
to hide her

while I try to get Carol
to accept her.

Mm-hmm.

Addison's garage.

Bless you, Wilbur.

Fine lad.

[busy signal]

The line's busy.

Ed, I better take your mother
right over there.

Mr. Dowd, what time are you
starting your auction tomorrow?

11 o'clock?

Fine, we'll be there.

And I--

The voice you have just heard
had been disconnected.

You shouldn't have done that.

Woman, have a heart.

We've got a whole garage
full of junk.

It's not junk.

We have
enough grandfather clocks

to start an old folks home.

Oh, really, Roger.
Stop exaggerating.

I'm going to use everything
I bought.

Kay, dear heart,
light of my life,

what do you intend to do
with the spinning wheel

you bought three years ago?

Well, I-- I may make
a planter out of it.

You'd make a planter
out of anything, wouldn't you?

Oh, Addison, please, doll.

Let's go Sunday.

I promise you I won't buy.
I'll just look.

Well, if you must look,

come and have a look
at the pawn shop

we laughingly call our garage.

Oh, really, Roger.
What are you trying to prove?

I know what I bought.

I just want you to see

why I have to park my car
in the driveway every week.

Addison, I know
what's in this garage,

and it's all stuff
we can use some day.

What kind of a planter
is that going to make?

How did that get here?

Why, it's that old plow horse
that Wilbur wanted to buy.

Wilbur, where do you think

I ought to take her
on Mother's Day?

Ed, we're going to have
a lot of trouble with Carol.

You should never
have phoned Mr. Dowd.

There comes a time

when a horse has to take matters
into his own hooves.

Well, I better phone Roger again

and tell him I've got
your mother in his garage.

[Mr. Ed humming]

Anything else
I can get you, dear?

No, thank you, honey.

Are you still angry with me,
darling?

I mean about the other horse?

No, no, I-I see
your side of it, dear.

I hope you'll change your mind.

I don't want to seem obstinate.

That's my girl.

I mean, just promise me
you'll keep an open mind.

Sleep on it, huh?

All right, Wilbur.
I better get back to my roast.

Let me carry that for you.

Honey, if you change your mind
about that other horse

I think I can get you
a quick delivery.

I, uh, believe
this belongs to your herd.

Roger, where did you
get the horse?

I didn't know you liked horses.

Carol?

Wilbur, there must be
an explanation for this.

Yeah? Well, let's hear it.

Wilbur, how could you?

You'll excuse me if I miss
this preliminary bout.

I'm fighting in the main event
next door.

It's great to keep an open mind,
quick delivery--

That horse goes
back this instant.

Wilbur, right now.

eW
Carol, please--

Right now, Wilbur.

Take that horse back right now.

Oh!

Ed, I'm sorry. I tried.

Can I say good-bye to Mama?

[horses grunting]

Cheer up, Ed.

♪ Mother, you are growing old ♪

♪ Silver threads
among the gold ♪

Breakfast in a few minutes.

Is he still angry about
returning that other horse?

I guess so.

Agh, husbands can be
so stubborn.

Do you know that Addison
actually believes

that I'm not going
to that auction today?

And you're not.

Yes, I am.

Good morning, Wilbur.

No, you're not.

Good morning, Wilbur.
Yes, I am.

Good morning.

What's going on around here?

Oh, they're just discussing
going to the auction today.

And we decided against it.

Carol would like to go.

Only if it's
all right with you, dear.

Oh, yeah--

No, no. I thought we'd just
relax around the house today.

Wilbur, you're a man
after my own heart.

Well, I'll be right back.
I've got to feed Ed.

Hurry, dear. Breakfast will be
ready in just a few minutes.

Morning, Ed. How's--

Ed?

Went home to Mother.

He must have just left.

The crayon is still wet.

B2
Addison, please.

I promise you that we'll only
stay at the auction for an hour.

Half hour?

Breakfast is ready.

15 minutes?

We'll just drive by?

My dear, you are not buying
any wagon wheels today.

Wilbur and I have decided
against it.

Why do you men always stick
together?

Because every day
of a married man's life

is Custard's last stand.

Well, let's finish up breakfast
and get down to that auction.

I have just been scalped.

All right, folks. The auction
will start in a few minutes now.

Pardon me, sir.

Yes, sir, what can I--

Oh, it's you.

Now look Mr. Post,
that wasn't fair.

Buying my horse on the telephone
and then sending her back.

Anything you buy today

is strictly cash
on the barrelhead.

Well, I'm sorry.

Have you seen
my horse around here?

Now, what makes you think
he'd be around here?

He left a note saying
he was going back to mother.

Well, uh...

I-I guess I better start
the auction.

Wilbur, have you seen Kay?

I've been looking
all over for her.

No.

Well, I've got to find her
before the bidding starts

or I'll walk home in a barrel.

All right, folks. All right.
[striking gavel]

Gather around. Now, we've got

some right powerful bargains
for you lucky people.

Now the first item
is this sturdy plow horse.

Got a lot of hard-working years
left in her yet.

Now, who'll start the bidding?

$10.

15.

20.

All right, I hear 20.
Do I hear 25?

25.

30.

35.

35, I have 35. Do I hear 40?

Ed, what are you doing?

Buying my mother. Do you mind?

40, anyone? 40, 40, 40 anyone?

- 40.
- Thank you.

But you know
we can't take her home.

45.

45, I have 45. Do I hear 50?

Ed, you don't have any money.

How are you going to pay?

This is my mother.

I'll beg. I'll work. I'll steal.
I'll do anything.

50, 50, do I hear 50?

- 50.
- Thank you.

I have 50, 50, 50. Do I hear 55?

Wilbur, what's
Mr. Ed doing here?

Do I hear 55?

[Dowd]
All right.

50 once.

50 twice.

50--

55.

Sold, to that man for $55.

Wilbur, why did you buy
that horse?

Honey, because
that is Mr. Ed's mother.

Believe me.

I bought her and I'm going
to give her to some nice family.

Maybe with a couple of kids
who can love her

and make
her last years happy ones.

All right, honey.

I don't mind
if you're an animal lover.

As long as you keep on being
a zPwife lover.

I better go find Kay.

Wilbur, if you were a girl,
I'd kiss you.

I think I will anyway.

All right, folks.

Who will give me $15?

Believe me, it's a steal.

[Man]
15.

[Man]
17.

20.

[Man]
22.

22, 22, I've got 22.

Do I hear 23?

Why don't you go up to 50?

50, sold.

To that gentleman
with the mustache for $50.

Oh, Thank you, doll.

You bought me my wagon wheel.

I just bought $50 wagon wheel.

Congratulations.

It should make
a beautiful planter.

Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And no one can talk
to a horse, of course ♪

/ú
♪ That is, of course, unless the horse ♪

♪ Is the famous Mister Ed ♪

♪ Go right to the source
and ask the horse ♪

ñV
♪ He'll give you the answer ♪

♪ That you'll endorse ♪

♪ He's always
on a steady course ♪

♪ Talk to Mister Ed ♪

♪ People yakkity-yak
a streak ♪

♪ And waste
your time of day ♪

♪ But Mister Ed
will never speak ♪

♪ Unless he has
something to say ♪

♪ A horse is a horse,
of course, of course ♪

♪ And this one will talk
till his voice is hoarse ♪

♪ You never heard
of a talking horse? ♪

♪ Well, listen to this ♪

[Mister Ed]
♪ I am Mister Ed ♪

[Man]
This has been a Filmways television presentation.