Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,056 --> 00:00:04,893
(reel casts)
2
00:00:04,993 --> 00:00:07,862
I have a good feeling
about this.
3
00:00:07,962 --> 00:00:10,432
I think fly fishing
may have what it takes
4
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,301
to be our new couples' activity.
5
00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:14,769
Jury's still out on the fishing,
but I will say, it was
6
00:00:14,869 --> 00:00:17,472
pretty awesome hitting that
squirrel on the drive up here.
7
00:00:17,572 --> 00:00:20,309
(reel casts)
8
00:00:20,409 --> 00:00:24,213
Ooh! I think I got one!
9
00:00:24,313 --> 00:00:25,814
STAN: Beginner's luck.
10
00:00:25,914 --> 00:00:27,216
(straining)
11
00:00:31,052 --> 00:00:32,487
(fish grunting)
12
00:00:32,587 --> 00:00:34,789
Beat it!
Your kind isn't wanted here!
13
00:00:37,392 --> 00:00:40,262
FRANCINE: Don't worry, Stan.
You'll get one.
14
00:00:40,362 --> 00:00:41,796
Ooh, ooh! I got one, too!
15
00:00:41,896 --> 00:00:42,964
-(reel cranking)
-(grunting)
16
00:00:43,064 --> 00:00:45,467
Oh, it's really fighting me,
Francine.
17
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,669
Did it hurt your balls
when you reeled yours in?
18
00:00:47,769 --> 00:00:49,904
Stan, I think
it's just stuck on your --
19
00:00:50,004 --> 00:00:52,307
-(fabric rips)
-Oh, it got away!
20
00:00:52,407 --> 00:00:54,776
But, oh-ho-ho!
It was a big one!
21
00:00:54,876 --> 00:00:57,011
42 waist. Same size as me.
22
00:00:57,112 --> 00:00:58,747
I'm gonna ask him
where he buys his pants.
23
00:00:58,847 --> 00:01:00,649
(inhales deeply)
24
00:01:00,749 --> 00:01:02,351
(reel casts)
25
00:01:04,018 --> 00:01:07,021
It was quiet down there.
Really gave me time to think.
26
00:01:07,122 --> 00:01:08,490
I realize now...
27
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:12,026
it was my underwear.
28
00:01:12,127 --> 00:01:14,529
(patriotic music plays)
29
00:01:14,629 --> 00:01:17,199
* Good morning, U.S.A. *
30
00:01:17,299 --> 00:01:21,035
* I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day *
31
00:01:21,136 --> 00:01:24,273
* The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face *
32
00:01:24,373 --> 00:01:28,543
* And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race *
33
00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:33,682
* Oh, boy, it's swell to say *
34
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:35,984
-* Good -- *
-* Good morning, U.S.A. *
35
00:01:36,084 --> 00:01:37,319
Aah!
36
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:41,990
* Good morning, U.S.A. *
37
00:01:42,090 --> 00:01:44,493
**
38
00:01:44,593 --> 00:01:47,362
Mm-mmm! This trout's delicious!
39
00:01:47,462 --> 00:01:48,730
So good!
40
00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:50,499
I like to take
a big bite of fish...
41
00:01:50,599 --> 00:01:51,966
and then a big sip of milk...
42
00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:54,969
and then swish it all together
in my mouth like this.
43
00:01:55,069 --> 00:01:57,406
(swishing)
44
00:01:57,506 --> 00:02:01,176
Ahh! It's like
trouted milk balls.
45
00:02:01,276 --> 00:02:03,512
So it seems like fly fishing
was a success?
46
00:02:03,612 --> 00:02:05,314
It was wonderful.
47
00:02:05,414 --> 00:02:08,650
So beautiful and peaceful
out there.
48
00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,220
Yes, but we're obviously
never doing it again.
49
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,422
That was an audition
for a couples' activity,
50
00:02:13,522 --> 00:02:14,556
and it failed.
51
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,226
The couple tried it,
the couple didn't like it,
52
00:02:17,326 --> 00:02:19,228
and now the couple will...
53
00:02:19,328 --> 00:02:21,730
* Put it on the boarrrd *
54
00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:24,366
This isn't
a couples' rejection board!
55
00:02:24,466 --> 00:02:27,269
It's just a list of things
we did that you didn't like.
56
00:02:27,369 --> 00:02:28,837
I'm not changing the sign,
Francine.
57
00:02:28,937 --> 00:02:32,040
We only tried
all these things once!
58
00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:34,276
Can't we give fly fishing
another chance?
59
00:02:34,376 --> 00:02:35,910
No. W-Why can't we give
60
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:38,079
Couples' Loan Sharking
another chance?
61
00:02:38,179 --> 00:02:40,382
Because the mob came after us
62
00:02:40,482 --> 00:02:42,684
for stepping on their turf,
remember?!
63
00:02:42,784 --> 00:02:44,253
They broke your wrist!
64
00:02:44,353 --> 00:02:46,288
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah,
they were right to do that.
65
00:02:46,388 --> 00:02:47,556
I was not getting the picture.
66
00:02:47,656 --> 00:02:51,260
Please, Stan.
I really loved fly fishing.
67
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,797
(sighs) You know I can't say no
to those beautiful black pupils.
68
00:02:55,897 --> 00:02:57,732
Let's give it another shot.
69
00:02:57,832 --> 00:03:00,435
Hey. "Steve's dance recitals"?
70
00:03:00,535 --> 00:03:02,070
I thought you stopped coming
because you didn't want
71
00:03:02,170 --> 00:03:03,738
to give me performance anxiety?
72
00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:05,307
That was a lie. We were bored
73
00:03:05,407 --> 00:03:07,542
and couldn't relate
to your passion.
74
00:03:09,611 --> 00:03:12,046
**
75
00:03:12,146 --> 00:03:13,715
The upstairs toilet
is overflowing,
76
00:03:13,815 --> 00:03:16,217
and the goddamn plunger is never
where it's supposed to be!
77
00:03:16,318 --> 00:03:17,719
-(smartphone clicking)
-Ugh!
78
00:03:17,819 --> 00:03:20,655
(both laugh)
79
00:03:20,755 --> 00:03:22,090
-Ugh!
-Ugh!
80
00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:23,592
(both laugh)
81
00:03:23,692 --> 00:03:25,460
You crunched my nose!
82
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:28,162
And -- (laughs)
W-Where's your tooth?!
83
00:03:28,263 --> 00:03:29,898
It went right into the wood.
84
00:03:29,998 --> 00:03:31,733
That thing must've been flying!
85
00:03:31,833 --> 00:03:36,104
Well, that's not the only
interesting thing on this door.
86
00:03:36,204 --> 00:03:37,906
HAYLEY:
Oh, this is where we used to
87
00:03:38,006 --> 00:03:40,275
measure ourselves every year.
88
00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:42,611
Wow. We've all grown so much.
89
00:03:42,711 --> 00:03:44,813
Me, you, Omar.
90
00:03:44,913 --> 00:03:47,015
W-Wait. Who the hell is Omar?
91
00:03:47,115 --> 00:03:49,518
He's got a mark for every year!
92
00:03:49,618 --> 00:03:50,652
My nose hurts.
93
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:52,587
Forget your nose,
forget my tooth.
94
00:03:52,687 --> 00:03:53,822
Let's solve this thing.
95
00:03:53,922 --> 00:03:55,490
But what about
the clogged toilet?
96
00:03:55,590 --> 00:03:56,658
Let's forget that, too.
97
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,760
A little dirty water
never hurt anybody.
98
00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:00,495
Okay. We're on the case!
99
00:04:00,595 --> 00:04:02,163
What case? I want in.
100
00:04:02,263 --> 00:04:03,932
The case of who Omar is.
101
00:04:04,032 --> 00:04:05,600
You see, there's these markings.
102
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,769
I don't know who Omar is,
you jerks!
103
00:04:07,869 --> 00:04:09,538
You're so suspicious!
104
00:04:09,638 --> 00:04:11,706
Do you think that might be
a lead we should follow?
105
00:04:11,806 --> 00:04:13,508
I, uh...
106
00:04:13,608 --> 00:04:15,377
Not sure.
I-I wasn't paying attention.
107
00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:17,612
I was too busy tonguing
my new gum hole.
108
00:04:17,712 --> 00:04:20,382
(squishing)
Oh, it feels incredible.
109
00:04:20,482 --> 00:04:22,517
(licking and slurping)
110
00:04:22,617 --> 00:04:24,619
-(snoring)
-Roger, I need your help.
111
00:04:24,719 --> 00:04:26,020
(flapping)
112
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,022
Sorry, Stan. I'm a duck today.
113
00:04:28,122 --> 00:04:29,858
I got a lot of
duck responsibilities.
114
00:04:29,958 --> 00:04:32,160
I promised Francine
I'd go fly fishing again,
115
00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:34,228
but I'm terrible at it,
and I don't want to go.
116
00:04:34,329 --> 00:04:35,730
Damn it!
I don't know what to do!
117
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:38,032
-That's it! Dam it!
-What?
118
00:04:38,132 --> 00:04:39,901
Dam it. Dam the river!
119
00:04:40,001 --> 00:04:41,202
Yes, damn the river!
120
00:04:41,302 --> 00:04:42,737
Damn it, Stan,
you're not getting it!
121
00:04:42,837 --> 00:04:44,238
Wait -- Say that again.
122
00:04:44,339 --> 00:04:45,340
I'm doing duck stuff?
123
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,975
Not that far back. The dam.
124
00:04:47,075 --> 00:04:48,142
I'll build a dam,
125
00:04:48,242 --> 00:04:50,345
then there won't be a river
to fly fish in.
126
00:04:50,445 --> 00:04:52,881
And we'd have more time
to work on our vaudeville act.
127
00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:54,148
Let's go get some concrete.
128
00:04:54,248 --> 00:04:56,718
Just give me one second.
129
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,387
(ducks quacking)
130
00:04:58,487 --> 00:04:59,821
Quack! Quack-quack!
131
00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:01,523
Quack! Quack-quack-quack!
132
00:05:01,623 --> 00:05:04,258
(ducks quacking)
133
00:05:04,359 --> 00:05:05,660
Let's roll.
134
00:05:07,496 --> 00:05:09,898
(majestic music playing)
135
00:05:09,998 --> 00:05:17,005
**
136
00:05:17,238 --> 00:05:19,374
And that's the easiest way
to get out of
137
00:05:19,474 --> 00:05:20,742
fly fishing with your wife.
138
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:21,743
(slap)
139
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,579
And now a little reward
for Stan.
140
00:05:26,948 --> 00:05:29,884
"Dolly Parton."
141
00:05:29,984 --> 00:05:31,453
You've done it, Stan.
142
00:05:31,553 --> 00:05:35,256
The funniest thing
that's ever happened.
143
00:05:35,356 --> 00:05:37,559
Uh...look behind you.
144
00:05:37,659 --> 00:05:40,529
Today's more for putting things
behind me than looking.
145
00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:42,931
-Whoa.
-(twinkle)
146
00:05:43,031 --> 00:05:44,733
STAN: A giant lake.
147
00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:48,403
And like moths to a flame,
here come the lake people.
148
00:05:48,503 --> 00:05:52,807
(laughter and cheering)
149
00:05:52,907 --> 00:05:55,076
-(engine hums)
-Whoo-hoo!
150
00:05:55,176 --> 00:05:58,813
Guess I'm gonna have to open a
dingy lakeside café, aren't I?
151
00:05:58,913 --> 00:06:02,383
(gulping) Hey! You're the guy
that made this lake!
152
00:06:02,484 --> 00:06:03,652
Name's Cleonard.
153
00:06:03,752 --> 00:06:06,588
That's "C" as in Cleonard,
"L" as in Leonard,
154
00:06:06,688 --> 00:06:09,591
"E" as in Eonard,
"O" as in Onard,
155
00:06:09,691 --> 00:06:12,727
"N" as in Nard, "A" as in Ard,
156
00:06:12,827 --> 00:06:17,265
"R" as in Rd,
and "D" as in Dildo.
157
00:06:17,365 --> 00:06:18,633
Have a beer!
158
00:06:18,733 --> 00:06:21,069
Oh! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
159
00:06:21,169 --> 00:06:22,737
-(can tab pops)
-(gulping)
160
00:06:22,837 --> 00:06:26,174
Whoa-ho, Lake Man!
You're a natural!
161
00:06:26,274 --> 00:06:29,277
**
162
00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:31,345
You know what, honey?
I'm so glad
163
00:06:31,446 --> 00:06:33,682
we're giving fly fishing
a second chance.
164
00:06:33,782 --> 00:06:36,451
But wait a second.
Where's the dang river?
165
00:06:36,551 --> 00:06:38,620
We're still 10 miles away.
166
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,422
Oh, yes, yes, that -- that's
why we can't see the river...
167
00:06:41,523 --> 00:06:43,257
that is still there.
168
00:06:45,093 --> 00:06:46,528
Where's the dang river?
169
00:06:46,628 --> 00:06:47,696
It's been dammed!
170
00:06:47,796 --> 00:06:49,698
Yeah. But by whom?
171
00:06:49,798 --> 00:06:53,267
Guess we have no choice but
to check out the dam up yonder.
172
00:06:54,669 --> 00:06:56,871
But who needs answers
when you've got...
173
00:06:58,439 --> 00:07:01,142
...cannonb-a-a-alls?!
174
00:07:01,242 --> 00:07:03,344
What are you still doing
in the car?
175
00:07:03,444 --> 00:07:06,380
Jump in, Francine!
Feel the muck on your balls!
176
00:07:06,481 --> 00:07:08,650
FRANCINE: You know
I don't have balls, Stan!
177
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,051
Prove it!
178
00:07:12,186 --> 00:07:14,989
(banjo music playing)
179
00:07:15,089 --> 00:07:17,492
I know you're disappointed
we can't fly fish,
180
00:07:17,592 --> 00:07:18,960
but like Cleonard says,
181
00:07:19,060 --> 00:07:21,630
when God dams a river,
he makes a lake.
182
00:07:21,730 --> 00:07:22,864
Who's Cleonard?
183
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,534
That guy over there
I just met for the first time.
184
00:07:25,634 --> 00:07:26,801
So, what do you think?
185
00:07:26,901 --> 00:07:29,170
Lake life?
Our new couples' thing?
186
00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:30,672
What's lake life?
187
00:07:30,772 --> 00:07:32,073
You know, swimmin', drinkin',
188
00:07:32,173 --> 00:07:34,008
sun burnin',
Lyme disease gettin' --
189
00:07:34,108 --> 00:07:35,043
lake life!
190
00:07:35,143 --> 00:07:38,246
I'm sorry. I'm just
bummed about the river.
191
00:07:38,346 --> 00:07:39,380
Oh, come on.
192
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,716
What was your favorite thing
about fly fishing?
193
00:07:41,816 --> 00:07:43,918
Well, it was something
I really enjoyed
194
00:07:44,018 --> 00:07:45,987
and was really good at.
195
00:07:46,087 --> 00:07:47,922
-(imitates buzzer)
You liked...the water!
196
00:07:48,022 --> 00:07:49,157
Well, think about it.
197
00:07:49,257 --> 00:07:51,726
Now you have all that water
in one spot.
198
00:07:51,826 --> 00:07:53,027
If you see a patch you like,
199
00:07:53,127 --> 00:07:54,829
you don't have to worry
about it rushing by.
200
00:07:54,929 --> 00:07:56,598
It's gonna be there
for centuries.
201
00:07:56,698 --> 00:07:58,900
-(flatly) I guess.
-That's the spirit!
202
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,935
Look at Cleonard,
screamin' at his mom
203
00:08:01,035 --> 00:08:03,204
in front of everyone --
what a baller.
204
00:08:03,304 --> 00:08:05,840
You gotta meet him.
205
00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:08,342
Hey, Cleonard. This is Francine.
206
00:08:08,442 --> 00:08:11,680
Ma'am. Let me introduce y'all
to the gang.
207
00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:13,682
This here's Cleonard Jr.
208
00:08:13,782 --> 00:08:15,449
That's Mama, Big Clen,
209
00:08:15,550 --> 00:08:17,518
Tammy, Tammy's man,
210
00:08:17,619 --> 00:08:22,290
Guts,
and the lovely Cleonard-Dawn.
211
00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,959
Say, we're just about to
go bob for pigs' feet.
212
00:08:25,059 --> 00:08:26,360
Y'all interested?
213
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:28,029
Oh, hell yes!
214
00:08:28,129 --> 00:08:30,064
Oh, I'm good.
215
00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:33,034
I had two monkey hands
and a zebra dick for lunch.
216
00:08:33,134 --> 00:08:35,203
Come on! Lake life!
217
00:08:35,303 --> 00:08:37,305
(sighing) Okay.
I guess you were gonna
218
00:08:37,405 --> 00:08:39,107
give fly fishing
a second chance.
219
00:08:39,207 --> 00:08:41,309
That's right.
Remember how surprised I was
220
00:08:41,409 --> 00:08:42,744
the river was gone?
221
00:08:42,844 --> 00:08:43,745
Twice.
222
00:08:43,845 --> 00:08:45,213
On my count!
223
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,249
One!
224
00:08:48,349 --> 00:08:49,550
Go!
225
00:08:49,651 --> 00:08:51,653
**
226
00:08:51,753 --> 00:08:53,888
(laughs, gurgles)
227
00:08:53,988 --> 00:08:55,423
-Unh!
-(crunch)
228
00:08:55,523 --> 00:08:57,058
(crunch)
229
00:08:57,158 --> 00:08:59,160
Mnh!
230
00:08:59,260 --> 00:09:00,629
(laughs, gurgles)
231
00:09:00,729 --> 00:09:01,896
**
232
00:09:01,996 --> 00:09:03,097
(retches)
233
00:09:03,197 --> 00:09:06,000
(distorted vomiting)
234
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:13,107
**
235
00:09:13,675 --> 00:09:14,609
(whistles)
236
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:16,477
Pbth! I got seven!
237
00:09:16,577 --> 00:09:17,779
You win!
238
00:09:17,879 --> 00:09:21,783
Let's hear it for Lake Man
and his wife, Vomit!
239
00:09:21,883 --> 00:09:23,451
-(cheers and applause)
-(gasps) You got a nickname!
240
00:09:23,551 --> 00:09:26,921
What a power couple.
Lake Man and Vomit.
241
00:09:27,021 --> 00:09:28,422
**
242
00:09:28,522 --> 00:09:32,293
Grape, grape, grape.
243
00:09:32,393 --> 00:09:33,828
Yum.
244
00:09:33,928 --> 00:09:35,697
Rogu, stop fussing
with those olives.
245
00:09:35,797 --> 00:09:38,299
Steve and Hayley found the name
"Omar" written on the door,
246
00:09:38,399 --> 00:09:40,802
and I have to get
something off my chest.
247
00:09:40,902 --> 00:09:42,536
You're the only one I can tell.
248
00:09:42,637 --> 00:09:45,373
Omar is my son.
249
00:09:45,473 --> 00:09:47,275
Oh, my God!
250
00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:50,478
Or at least I've come
to think of him as my son.
251
00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:55,717
Rogu need more information.
252
00:09:55,817 --> 00:09:57,852
A long time ago, I saw a boy
253
00:09:57,952 --> 00:09:59,487
in a Country Time Lemonade
commercial,
254
00:09:59,587 --> 00:10:03,224
and since then,
I imagined that he was mine.
255
00:10:03,324 --> 00:10:06,360
I guess that's the whole story.
Huh.
256
00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:08,296
(gasps) Oh! And I've been
guessing at his height
257
00:10:08,396 --> 00:10:09,530
and marking it on the door.
258
00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:10,965
Busted!
259
00:10:11,065 --> 00:10:13,134
We knew you had
something to do with Omar!
260
00:10:13,234 --> 00:10:16,738
And we knew you'd come
spillin' your guts to Rogu.
261
00:10:16,838 --> 00:10:18,306
Everyone does.
262
00:10:18,406 --> 00:10:20,709
You used Rogu as a honeypot?!
263
00:10:20,809 --> 00:10:23,745
You got Rogu'd.
264
00:10:23,845 --> 00:10:26,180
(laughter)
265
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,817
(crying)
266
00:10:28,917 --> 00:10:30,551
Buddy, don't feel bad.
267
00:10:30,651 --> 00:10:33,855
It was just...kind of a game
or something. I don't know.
268
00:10:33,955 --> 00:10:37,658
I'm so sad and alone...
269
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,560
and sad.
270
00:10:39,660 --> 00:10:41,362
All right.
Let's help him with this,
271
00:10:41,462 --> 00:10:43,264
and then we'll fix
our nose and teeth.
272
00:10:44,899 --> 00:10:46,835
(engine hums)
273
00:10:46,935 --> 00:10:50,271
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
That all you got, Junior?!
274
00:10:50,371 --> 00:10:52,373
-(engine revs)
-Aah! Aah! Aah!
275
00:10:52,473 --> 00:10:53,541
STAN: Whoo! Whoo!
276
00:10:53,641 --> 00:10:55,744
(Francine grunting)
277
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:00,882
How great is lake life?
278
00:11:00,982 --> 00:11:02,583
Let's fire it up again, Junior.
279
00:11:02,683 --> 00:11:05,954
I think I might sit this one
out, swim to shore.
280
00:11:06,054 --> 00:11:10,091
Swim in? Sounds like we got
ourselves a lake-aholic, Junior.
281
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:11,625
I'm a lake-aholic, too,
282
00:11:11,726 --> 00:11:15,363
except with alcohol and meth
and unprotected sex!
283
00:11:15,463 --> 00:11:17,231
I'm gonna beat it, though,
'cause I ordered
284
00:11:17,331 --> 00:11:20,068
a fidget spinner,
and it's on its way.
285
00:11:20,168 --> 00:11:24,538
**
286
00:11:24,638 --> 00:11:25,807
Hey, Roger.
287
00:11:25,907 --> 00:11:27,441
Turns out my grill's
a little small.
288
00:11:27,541 --> 00:11:29,744
We're running about
six to seven hours behind.
289
00:11:29,844 --> 00:11:32,981
Who ordered a grilled cheese
at 11:00 a.m.?!
290
00:11:33,081 --> 00:11:36,584
Yours now if you want it.
291
00:11:36,684 --> 00:11:39,487
(indistinct conversations)
292
00:11:39,587 --> 00:11:42,223
Yoink! Lake life is awesome!
293
00:11:42,323 --> 00:11:44,292
Cleonard shot an osprey
with a crossbow,
294
00:11:44,392 --> 00:11:46,795
and we're gonna bang it open
with a rock!
295
00:11:46,895 --> 00:11:48,562
Cleonard, from the lake.
296
00:11:48,662 --> 00:11:52,466
Stan, it's been a long day.
When can we go home?
297
00:11:52,566 --> 00:11:55,269
Not yet! Cleonard shot an osprey
with a crossbow,
298
00:11:55,369 --> 00:11:57,906
and we're gonna bang it open
with a rock!
299
00:11:59,173 --> 00:12:00,842
FRANCINE: Ding!
300
00:12:03,011 --> 00:12:05,246
Hey, Roger, I'm borrowing this.
301
00:12:05,346 --> 00:12:07,248
Sorry. I just wanted to
check on my turkey burger.
302
00:12:07,348 --> 00:12:09,483
This isn't McDonald's, sir!
Check back in the morning!
303
00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:10,684
(tongs clack)
304
00:12:10,785 --> 00:12:13,187
**
305
00:12:13,287 --> 00:12:15,256
It's like...
why am I tracking the height
306
00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:18,526
of a boy I've only seen
in commercials?
307
00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:21,762
I think television is
extremely dangerous for me.
308
00:12:21,863 --> 00:12:23,531
It makes me feel like
I know him.
309
00:12:23,631 --> 00:12:25,633
But maybe you can know him,
Klaus.
310
00:12:25,733 --> 00:12:26,634
What?
311
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:28,636
Omar is real.
312
00:12:28,736 --> 00:12:31,205
He's real and he's alive
and he's out there.
313
00:12:31,305 --> 00:12:34,375
We found him on Cameo,
and he's actually available
314
00:12:34,475 --> 00:12:36,544
to make personal appearances
for an extra fee.
315
00:12:36,644 --> 00:12:37,946
You know I have no money!
316
00:12:38,046 --> 00:12:40,314
I'll cover it.
I got a little cabbage
317
00:12:40,414 --> 00:12:42,383
comin' from the tooth fairy.
318
00:12:42,483 --> 00:12:44,886
Look, you have a lot
of real love for him,
319
00:12:44,986 --> 00:12:47,121
a-and maybe that's something
he's looking for.
320
00:12:47,221 --> 00:12:48,789
Y-You might not be able
to be his dad,
321
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:52,193
but you could be,
I dunno, a-a mentor.
322
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:53,995
Or he could mentor you?
323
00:12:54,095 --> 00:12:57,665
Or maybe just get in a room
and see who mentors who.
324
00:12:57,765 --> 00:13:00,068
Okay. Let's reach out to him.
325
00:13:00,168 --> 00:13:02,336
I'm gonna go to my alcove
and get all my farts out
326
00:13:02,436 --> 00:13:03,804
before he comes.
327
00:13:03,905 --> 00:13:07,308
I suggest you all do the same.
328
00:13:07,408 --> 00:13:10,544
Maybe this dumb lake's
good for something.
329
00:13:10,644 --> 00:13:14,182
Ow.
Is that my ass or the dam?
330
00:13:17,251 --> 00:13:20,821
(laughs)
That's a funny bit.
331
00:13:20,922 --> 00:13:23,858
Stan always does that bit.
332
00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:26,027
Stan always does that bit!
333
00:13:26,127 --> 00:13:29,163
That little bitch
built a secret dam!
334
00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:31,499
**
335
00:13:31,599 --> 00:13:34,102
Stan, come with me!
We need to talk!
336
00:13:34,202 --> 00:13:35,536
Just tell me
in front of Cleonard.
337
00:13:35,636 --> 00:13:37,371
I'm gonna tell him
the second you leave, anyway.
338
00:13:37,471 --> 00:13:38,739
I tell Cleonard everything.
339
00:13:38,839 --> 00:13:41,709
Fine. I know you built the dam!
340
00:13:41,809 --> 00:13:44,745
Ooh! Sounds like somebody's
getting laid tonight.
341
00:13:44,845 --> 00:13:45,914
(gulping)
342
00:13:46,014 --> 00:13:47,281
(suspenseful chord strikes)
343
00:13:47,381 --> 00:13:49,683
Honey, we -- we don't
need to go in there.
344
00:13:49,783 --> 00:13:53,021
You dammed a river
because you didn't want
345
00:13:53,121 --> 00:13:55,689
to give fly fishing
a second chance!
346
00:13:56,857 --> 00:13:58,927
FRANCINE: Damn your dam.
347
00:13:59,027 --> 00:14:01,395
(rocket whooshes)
348
00:14:04,065 --> 00:14:06,700
(crumbling)
349
00:14:08,102 --> 00:14:09,270
(water splashes)
350
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,272
See ya, turds!
351
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:14,875
Hey, Stan, tell Roger
to have my chicken tenders
352
00:14:14,976 --> 00:14:18,046
delivered to my balls!
353
00:14:18,146 --> 00:14:21,315
(up-tempo banjo music plays)
354
00:14:21,415 --> 00:14:23,417
**
355
00:14:23,517 --> 00:14:26,254
That lady ruined our lake!
356
00:14:26,354 --> 00:14:28,889
She's deeeeaaad!
357
00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:30,724
(indistinct shouting
and hollering)
358
00:14:30,824 --> 00:14:33,827
Cleonard, my man, the lake
was only here for a day.
359
00:14:33,928 --> 00:14:35,563
You don't need
to do anything crazy.
360
00:14:35,663 --> 00:14:39,433
Of course we do, Stan.
We're crazy lake people.
361
00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:40,935
Let's git 'er!
362
00:14:41,035 --> 00:14:44,172
(indistinct shouting)
363
00:14:44,272 --> 00:14:45,940
I got a crush on you, Stan.
364
00:14:47,075 --> 00:14:49,910
(engine revs, women giggle)
365
00:14:50,011 --> 00:14:52,013
Oh, my God!
366
00:14:52,113 --> 00:14:54,415
Tammy's crushing on me?!
367
00:14:56,517 --> 00:14:58,953
**
368
00:14:59,053 --> 00:15:00,955
The hillbillies
want to kill Francine
369
00:15:01,055 --> 00:15:02,490
because she destroyed the lake!
370
00:15:02,590 --> 00:15:04,525
Oh, thank God this is over.
371
00:15:04,625 --> 00:15:06,794
I was playing it cool,
but I was in over my head.
372
00:15:06,894 --> 00:15:08,529
Come on. We can still
get a jump on them.
373
00:15:08,629 --> 00:15:09,998
Cleonard can't find
his Croakies,
374
00:15:10,098 --> 00:15:11,132
so they haven't left yet.
375
00:15:11,232 --> 00:15:13,367
Okay. Just let me
grab my stuff.
376
00:15:13,467 --> 00:15:15,636
Did you really need
all this junk?
377
00:15:15,736 --> 00:15:17,038
You caught me
after my Costco run.
378
00:15:17,138 --> 00:15:18,806
What am I supposed to do,
just leave behind
379
00:15:18,906 --> 00:15:21,542
a 13-pound bag of pitted dates?
380
00:15:21,642 --> 00:15:22,977
-No.
-Hey, can you guide
381
00:15:23,077 --> 00:15:25,546
that jumbo hand sanitizer
this way?
382
00:15:25,646 --> 00:15:27,948
Had my hand up a possum's butt
all morning.
383
00:15:28,049 --> 00:15:30,518
You know what they say --
customer's always right.
384
00:15:30,618 --> 00:15:31,719
I was the customer.
385
00:15:31,819 --> 00:15:33,454
CLEONARD: Hey, Lake Man!
386
00:15:33,554 --> 00:15:35,789
Any sign of Vomit yet?!
387
00:15:35,889 --> 00:15:38,859
I told you, Cleonard!
I won't help you hunt my wife!
388
00:15:38,959 --> 00:15:40,494
Oh, yeah.
389
00:15:40,594 --> 00:15:42,630
Well, can you at least
ask the grill guy
390
00:15:42,730 --> 00:15:45,399
if he has any
ice-cream sandwiches?
391
00:15:47,568 --> 00:15:48,536
He does.
392
00:15:48,636 --> 00:15:49,837
Okay, great!
393
00:15:49,937 --> 00:15:52,906
Ask him if he takes wet checks!
394
00:15:53,707 --> 00:15:55,476
CLEONARD: He does!
395
00:15:55,576 --> 00:15:57,978
**
396
00:15:58,079 --> 00:16:01,382
Okay. Three pitchers
of Country Time Lemonade.
397
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:04,085
That should be enough to get us
through the first hour.
398
00:16:04,185 --> 00:16:05,753
I hope it's still his favorite.
399
00:16:05,853 --> 00:16:07,055
(knocking)
400
00:16:09,323 --> 00:16:12,093
Hi. I'm Omar from the Country
Time Lemonade commercial.
401
00:16:12,193 --> 00:16:13,361
We know.
402
00:16:13,461 --> 00:16:16,064
I was also in
Tremors 5: Bloodlines.
403
00:16:16,164 --> 00:16:18,066
Please, come in.
404
00:16:20,701 --> 00:16:22,770
This is Klaus.
405
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:25,506
He only knows you from
your lemonade commercials.
406
00:16:27,175 --> 00:16:29,743
It's not easy to explain
or even understand,
407
00:16:29,843 --> 00:16:32,846
but something about you
appealed to Klaus,
408
00:16:32,946 --> 00:16:35,083
and he started
to think of you as a son.
409
00:16:35,183 --> 00:16:38,119
He has a lot of love for you,
and I think he's here today to
410
00:16:38,219 --> 00:16:41,855
ask if that would be something
you're open to sharing.
411
00:16:43,591 --> 00:16:46,026
Wow. That's
a pretty strange offer.
412
00:16:46,127 --> 00:16:49,930
But, honestly,
I'd be really open to this.
413
00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:53,867
I'm lonely.
And maybe you are, too.
414
00:16:53,967 --> 00:16:56,637
And maybe, together,
we won't have to be.
415
00:16:56,737 --> 00:16:59,107
-How tall are you?!
-I'm sorry?
416
00:16:59,207 --> 00:17:01,975
How tall are you?! Omar!
417
00:17:02,076 --> 00:17:03,411
I'm 5'7"?
418
00:17:03,511 --> 00:17:05,246
That's not right!
419
00:17:06,647 --> 00:17:07,981
Klaus, what are you doing?
420
00:17:08,082 --> 00:17:10,451
Get against the door!
We'll see who's right!
421
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,920
-There's the plunger! Can I --
-I'm using it on Omar!
422
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:15,756
-I actually have to go.
-Are you insane?!
423
00:17:15,856 --> 00:17:17,491
I have to measure you!
424
00:17:17,591 --> 00:17:18,592
(door slams)
425
00:17:18,692 --> 00:17:20,561
Did he just run
out of the house?
426
00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:22,796
What a Hollyweirdo.
427
00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:24,598
It's a real lesson.
428
00:17:24,698 --> 00:17:27,301
Don't meet
your Hollyweird heroes.
429
00:17:27,401 --> 00:17:28,502
(water trickling)
430
00:17:28,602 --> 00:17:31,305
And here comes the toilet water.
431
00:17:31,405 --> 00:17:33,841
Keep your eyes peeled.
Francine's probably close.
432
00:17:33,941 --> 00:17:35,743
This is right around
where she took us fishing.
433
00:17:35,843 --> 00:17:40,281
Hey, Stan, I double-dog dare you
to murder your wife!
434
00:17:40,381 --> 00:17:41,849
Man, this has been
going on for hours.
435
00:17:41,949 --> 00:17:44,285
We gotta lose these guys.
Cut your tubes loose.
436
00:17:44,385 --> 00:17:46,487
Maybe they'll trip them up.
-Not my tubes!
437
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,589
Well, there must be
another way, Stan!
438
00:17:48,689 --> 00:17:50,791
Oh! Maybe we can
creatively harness
439
00:17:50,891 --> 00:17:52,760
the untapped power
of the trees.
440
00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:54,295
Francine's life is at stake!
441
00:17:54,395 --> 00:17:58,632
Ugh. Fiiine.
You're so obsessed with her.
442
00:18:01,935 --> 00:18:05,005
My tree idea is lookin'
pretty good right now.
443
00:18:05,873 --> 00:18:07,308
The river cuts back.
444
00:18:07,408 --> 00:18:09,710
Hey, what if we jump out,
run across the land,
445
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:11,212
then get back in
on the other side?
446
00:18:11,312 --> 00:18:12,980
It'll be much faster
than taking
447
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,216
this lazy-ass river
all the way around.
448
00:18:15,316 --> 00:18:18,219
STAN: That's...a great idea.
449
00:18:20,053 --> 00:18:22,022
What a shortcut! Top-notch idea!
450
00:18:22,122 --> 00:18:25,125
ROGER: I'm loving the positive
reinforcement, Stan!
451
00:18:27,195 --> 00:18:30,531
(owl hooting)
452
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,900
Whoa! Check out
the beautiful owl!
453
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,502
Aah!
454
00:18:34,602 --> 00:18:37,505
It must've smelled possum butt
on my knuckles!
455
00:18:37,605 --> 00:18:38,972
Oh, well. Bye!
456
00:18:39,072 --> 00:18:40,374
(water rushing)
457
00:18:40,474 --> 00:18:42,376
(ominous music plays)
458
00:18:42,476 --> 00:18:45,379
Aah! Oh! Aah! Ah!
459
00:18:45,479 --> 00:18:47,381
(grunting)
460
00:18:47,481 --> 00:18:48,582
Aaaah!
461
00:18:48,682 --> 00:18:50,484
**
462
00:18:50,584 --> 00:18:52,520
Ah...
463
00:18:52,620 --> 00:18:57,157
**
464
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,196
(coughing)
465
00:19:02,296 --> 00:19:05,233
Francine! Can you stop
fly fishing for one second
466
00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:07,167
and listen to me?
We gotta run!
467
00:19:07,268 --> 00:19:08,869
The hillbillies are trying
to hunt you down!
468
00:19:08,969 --> 00:19:10,504
Why should I believe you?
469
00:19:10,604 --> 00:19:13,741
Everything you do
is for selfish reasons.
470
00:19:13,841 --> 00:19:14,775
Name one time.
471
00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:17,445
You built a dam
so I couldn't fish!
472
00:19:17,545 --> 00:19:19,780
Oh, well, you knocked that one
out of the park.
473
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,249
How long you been
sittin' on that?
474
00:19:21,349 --> 00:19:22,516
CLEONARD: There she is!
475
00:19:22,616 --> 00:19:24,218
(banjo music plays)
476
00:19:24,318 --> 00:19:27,187
I got this. Go hide
while I save our lives.
477
00:19:28,121 --> 00:19:31,091
Cleonard, you've made me
the happiest man on Earth.
478
00:19:31,191 --> 00:19:33,894
But I'm going to have to ask you
not to kill my wife.
479
00:19:33,927 --> 00:19:35,629
-(bow clicks)
-(whoosh)
480
00:19:35,729 --> 00:19:39,567
Stan, it's time for you
to finally let me
481
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,535
do something I'm good at.
482
00:19:41,635 --> 00:19:43,203
Go hide!
483
00:19:43,304 --> 00:19:45,072
**
484
00:19:45,172 --> 00:19:46,106
(weapons cock)
485
00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:48,609
(whooshing)
486
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,545
**
487
00:19:51,645 --> 00:19:54,282
(knife scrapes)
488
00:19:54,382 --> 00:19:57,751
-(pop)
-My eye! My eye!
489
00:19:57,851 --> 00:20:00,053
Wait! That was my lazy eye!
490
00:20:00,153 --> 00:20:01,622
My good eye's still good!
491
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:03,123
-(whip, pop)
-Aah!
492
00:20:03,223 --> 00:20:05,459
I'm almost out of eyes!
493
00:20:05,559 --> 00:20:07,761
Don't take
my Pan's Labyrint eyes!
494
00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:09,897
(whip, pop, whip, pop)
495
00:20:09,997 --> 00:20:11,899
(screaming)
496
00:20:11,999 --> 00:20:13,934
Unh! (screams)
497
00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:15,569
Who else wants some?!
498
00:20:22,109 --> 00:20:24,645
Wow!
That was incredible, Francine!
499
00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:25,979
Told you I was good.
500
00:20:26,079 --> 00:20:27,581
I'm sorry I dammed your river
501
00:20:27,681 --> 00:20:29,783
just because I'm bad
at fly fishing.
502
00:20:29,883 --> 00:20:31,585
But now I realize --
503
00:20:31,685 --> 00:20:33,020
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
504
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,855
Oh, my God! Roger!
505
00:20:34,955 --> 00:20:37,458
I'll be fine. Nothing
a little hand sanitizer
506
00:20:37,558 --> 00:20:40,361
and 32 cans of water chestnuts
can't fix.
507
00:20:40,461 --> 00:20:42,996
I-I just gotta head upriver
and find my supplies.
508
00:20:43,096 --> 00:20:44,932
(owl hoots)
509
00:20:45,032 --> 00:20:47,267
Let's get out of here.
510
00:20:50,103 --> 00:20:53,841
Where are you?! Where are you?!
511
00:20:53,941 --> 00:20:56,644
-(thud)
-There you are.
512
00:20:56,744 --> 00:20:57,845
(can tab pops)
513
00:20:57,945 --> 00:21:00,481
(gulps) Ahhh!
514
00:21:00,581 --> 00:21:02,149
(smacks lips)
515
00:21:02,249 --> 00:21:04,117
Bye! Have a great time!
516
00:21:06,219 --> 00:21:08,121
-- Captions by VITAC --
35917
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.