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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,051 --> 00:00:03,927 -Previously... -[Krystal] I thought 2 00:00:03,927 --> 00:00:05,968 you told me Obie Garbeau was a killer. 3 00:00:05,968 --> 00:00:07,551 Yeah. A killer businessman. 4 00:00:07,551 --> 00:00:09,134 What are you doing here? 5 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,760 There is a change of ownership in the works. 6 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,301 Consider it the validation of a good idea. 7 00:00:13,301 --> 00:00:16,218 [Krystal] I got something Buck Bridges might want. 8 00:00:16,218 --> 00:00:19,134 Obie's about to make a big purchase, and I thought 9 00:00:19,134 --> 00:00:22,218 your guy might want to buy it before Obie does. 10 00:00:22,218 --> 00:00:25,385 How does Roger feel about you bringing Cody in? 11 00:00:25,385 --> 00:00:28,760 -Let's do this! -[horn honks] 12 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,551 [Roger] She's a failed TV journalist 13 00:00:30,551 --> 00:00:34,218 with undue interest in Mr. Garbeau's affairs. 14 00:00:34,218 --> 00:00:37,301 Can I trust you to handle a task on your own? 15 00:00:37,301 --> 00:00:39,051 -Can someone help me? Hey. -[grunting] 16 00:00:39,051 --> 00:00:41,677 [rapid beeping] 17 00:00:43,218 --> 00:00:44,802 [Louise] I'll put you on my payroll, 18 00:00:44,802 --> 00:00:46,468 you can grow with us. 19 00:00:46,468 --> 00:00:49,051 [Ernie] I-I knew I wouldn't want to talk about it, 20 00:00:49,051 --> 00:00:51,051 -so I bought a special hat. -You're in denial. 21 00:00:54,259 --> 00:00:55,593 I knew you were ready. 22 00:00:55,593 --> 00:00:56,885 [exhales] 23 00:01:03,551 --> 00:01:05,968 Have you all seen Louise? I'm gonna head... 24 00:01:05,968 --> 00:01:09,593 Is that Ms. Krystal Stubbs or... 25 00:01:09,593 --> 00:01:11,593 -Elly May Clampett? -[chuckles] 26 00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:14,426 Yeah, sorry. I thought Louise would be here. 27 00:01:14,426 --> 00:01:15,927 Louise is at the stables. 28 00:01:15,927 --> 00:01:17,551 -Mr. Garbeau? -Yes. 29 00:01:17,551 --> 00:01:19,593 You need to hold still. 30 00:01:19,593 --> 00:01:20,968 [grunts] 31 00:01:20,968 --> 00:01:23,176 -May I just say two words? -Of course. 32 00:01:23,176 --> 00:01:26,051 You're fired. 33 00:01:26,051 --> 00:01:28,885 The rest of you can cast my mouth parts 34 00:01:28,885 --> 00:01:30,718 when I'm damn well done talking. 35 00:01:30,718 --> 00:01:33,093 [quiet murmuring] 36 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,677 Krystal, you are witnessing my annual bronze bust casting. 37 00:01:36,677 --> 00:01:38,885 I need the contours of my face 38 00:01:38,885 --> 00:01:40,468 to be remembered accurately 39 00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,510 in the event that I'm assassinated. 40 00:01:42,510 --> 00:01:43,927 Okay. 41 00:01:43,927 --> 00:01:46,426 Well, I'm done for today. 42 00:01:46,426 --> 00:01:49,885 Don't go just yet. 43 00:01:49,885 --> 00:01:51,802 Get a cigar for me. 44 00:01:51,802 --> 00:01:54,927 They're in the box over there somewhere. 45 00:01:54,927 --> 00:01:56,927 Over there. 46 00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:08,051 Thank you. 47 00:02:08,051 --> 00:02:10,134 Oh, I need the cutter, as well. 48 00:02:12,593 --> 00:02:15,468 The cutter. The cutter. 49 00:02:21,718 --> 00:02:24,593 Do you need me to light it for you, too? 50 00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:28,593 [laughs] 51 00:02:31,677 --> 00:02:34,009 There is no smoking on the premises. 52 00:02:36,635 --> 00:02:39,093 -Bye. -You're dismissed. 53 00:02:44,510 --> 00:02:46,551 ♪ up-tempo, dramatic music ♪ 54 00:02:46,551 --> 00:02:48,343 ♪♪♪ 55 00:03:16,385 --> 00:03:18,385 ♪♪♪ 56 00:03:25,551 --> 00:03:27,551 [electronic music playing] 57 00:03:27,551 --> 00:03:28,885 [announcer] Franklin... 58 00:03:28,885 --> 00:03:30,301 Jefferson... 59 00:03:30,301 --> 00:03:33,051 Washington... 60 00:03:33,051 --> 00:03:35,009 -[audience cheering] -Founders American Merchandise 61 00:03:35,009 --> 00:03:36,635 is proud to present... 62 00:03:36,635 --> 00:03:39,093 Wham Bam Thank You FAM! 63 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,593 37th Anniversary Jam! 64 00:03:41,593 --> 00:03:43,593 [dolphin chitters] 65 00:03:43,593 --> 00:03:48,009 [announcer] In beautiful Downtown Orlando, Florida, 66 00:03:48,009 --> 00:03:51,343 with your hosts, Founders American Merchandise 67 00:03:51,343 --> 00:03:55,968 Southeast Platinum Washington distributor Obie Garbeau II 68 00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:57,927 and Founders American Merchandise 69 00:03:57,927 --> 00:04:02,593 West Platinum Washington distributor Buck Bridges. 70 00:04:02,593 --> 00:04:05,426 Come for the sun, stay for the week of fun, 71 00:04:05,426 --> 00:04:07,301 motivational seminars, 72 00:04:07,301 --> 00:04:10,551 meet and greets, new products, new downline, 73 00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:15,259 prizes, IBOs from all across America. 74 00:04:15,259 --> 00:04:18,134 Call your upline now for tickets. 75 00:04:18,134 --> 00:04:22,385 We're kicking it all off with our annual charity telethon. 76 00:04:22,385 --> 00:04:26,343 This year, we're raising money for the FAM Orphan Fund. 77 00:04:26,343 --> 00:04:29,468 Can you believe this little businessman is an orphan? 78 00:04:29,468 --> 00:04:31,093 -[audience] Aww. -I can't. 79 00:04:31,093 --> 00:04:34,802 The Jam is all about getting the tools you need 80 00:04:34,802 --> 00:04:38,093 to build a moneymaking distribution business. 81 00:04:38,093 --> 00:04:40,802 But FAM doesn't just build businesses. 82 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:43,051 -FAM builds families. -FAM builds families. 83 00:04:43,051 --> 00:04:44,968 -[explosive whoosh] -[cheering and applause] 84 00:04:46,426 --> 00:04:48,843 [announcer] Catch all our special guests, 85 00:04:48,843 --> 00:04:51,218 including Plate-Spinning Polly, 86 00:04:51,218 --> 00:04:53,843 -Ernie Gomes and Family... -[Harold] Dad, that's you. 87 00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:55,468 You're gonna be famous. 88 00:04:55,468 --> 00:04:57,468 Nah. Y-Your mom and me are gonna talk 89 00:04:57,468 --> 00:04:59,468 about the importance of family. 90 00:04:59,468 --> 00:05:01,218 [chuckles] You're gonna be famous. 91 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:02,343 You remember your part? 92 00:05:03,635 --> 00:05:05,635 Check it. 93 00:05:05,635 --> 00:05:07,593 FAM is... 94 00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:12,760 -...way cool. -[Ernie chuckles] 95 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,551 [announcer] ...world-famous FAM fireworks extravaganza. 96 00:05:14,551 --> 00:05:17,134 -[fireworks exploding on TV] -[grunts, breathes shakily] 97 00:05:17,134 --> 00:05:18,968 [announcer] ...meet and greets, new products, 98 00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:22,176 new downline, prizes, 99 00:05:22,176 --> 00:05:25,051 -IBOs from all across America. -[high-pitched ringing] 100 00:05:25,051 --> 00:05:28,218 [muffled, distorted] Call your upline now for tickets. 101 00:05:28,218 --> 00:05:30,718 [door opens] 102 00:05:30,718 --> 00:05:33,009 -[door closes] -Dad? 103 00:05:33,009 --> 00:05:34,551 [announcer] Other restrictions may apply. 104 00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,385 Not responsible for... 105 00:05:36,385 --> 00:05:39,343 [Obie] You're swimming in the deep end now. 106 00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:41,927 It's natural for you to feel fear. 107 00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:43,968 [over tape] But it's like I always say-- 108 00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:46,593 it's not the fear that's dangerous. 109 00:05:46,593 --> 00:05:49,635 It's how you respond. 110 00:05:49,635 --> 00:05:52,927 The second you let the fear take control of you, 111 00:05:52,927 --> 00:05:56,051 your words, your mind, your future, 112 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,051 you've lost. 113 00:05:58,051 --> 00:06:00,051 You see, a Founders man takes that fear, 114 00:06:00,051 --> 00:06:02,093 and he turns it into drive. 115 00:06:02,093 --> 00:06:05,051 A Founders man takes that fear, 116 00:06:05,051 --> 00:06:09,009 and he uses it to gas up his luxury sedan. 117 00:06:10,176 --> 00:06:13,051 And one, two, three, four, 118 00:06:13,051 --> 00:06:15,385 five, six, seven, eight. 119 00:06:15,385 --> 00:06:18,051 One, two, three, four, 120 00:06:18,051 --> 00:06:20,259 five, six, seven, eight. 121 00:06:20,259 --> 00:06:22,718 And Louise, two, three, four... 122 00:06:22,718 --> 00:06:26,134 Gosh, I hope we've hired a different spotlight operator. 123 00:06:26,134 --> 00:06:28,093 Last year, they made me look like Bea Arthur. 124 00:06:28,093 --> 00:06:30,301 -[laughter] -Oh, you could start backlit. 125 00:06:30,301 --> 00:06:33,259 That was my secret in my pageant days. 126 00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:35,051 I could help you with the lighting if you want. 127 00:06:35,051 --> 00:06:36,593 Or choreography 128 00:06:36,593 --> 00:06:38,176 -or... -Oh, Krystal. 129 00:06:38,176 --> 00:06:39,635 Gosh, I just love your zip. 130 00:06:39,635 --> 00:06:42,134 But, you know, you'd be surprised 131 00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:45,218 just how far you can go if you just pay your dues. 132 00:06:45,218 --> 00:06:48,760 Hmm? That's something that I'd like us to explore. 133 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,093 You've only been working here for what, two weeks? 134 00:06:51,093 --> 00:06:52,259 -Right? And you got -[chuckles softly] 135 00:06:52,259 --> 00:06:54,176 a little ahead of yourself 136 00:06:54,176 --> 00:06:55,843 with Splashercize, if you remember. 137 00:06:57,009 --> 00:06:59,635 But you're part of this family. 138 00:06:59,635 --> 00:07:01,635 So for Wham Bam, 139 00:07:01,635 --> 00:07:04,343 well, I'm thinking maybe you might want to do our makeup. 140 00:07:04,343 --> 00:07:06,551 Huh? How's that sound? 141 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,301 Yeah. 142 00:07:09,301 --> 00:07:12,134 Oh, I'm thinking maybe a-a deep violet 143 00:07:12,134 --> 00:07:13,885 to really make your eyes pop. 144 00:07:13,885 --> 00:07:15,760 No, I'm not... 145 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:16,843 I love it. 146 00:07:16,843 --> 00:07:19,009 ...surprised... [chuckles] 147 00:07:19,009 --> 00:07:21,468 ...that you came up with such a great idea, Krystal. 148 00:07:21,468 --> 00:07:23,218 [Louise] Oh, and, dear, 149 00:07:23,218 --> 00:07:25,009 we need a little work still 150 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,134 on the fire totems for the week, 151 00:07:27,134 --> 00:07:28,968 so, uh, if you wouldn't mind staying late, 152 00:07:28,968 --> 00:07:30,426 then Kiyoko will stay, 153 00:07:30,426 --> 00:07:31,968 and she'll watch Destinee, all right? 154 00:07:31,968 --> 00:07:34,176 -Of course, Louise. -That's great. 155 00:07:34,176 --> 00:07:36,134 -All right, I need agua. -[claps] 156 00:07:36,134 --> 00:07:37,218 Pronto. 157 00:07:37,218 --> 00:07:39,218 [Louise exhales] 158 00:07:39,218 --> 00:07:40,927 Boy, really wears you out, huh? 159 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,468 [laughter] 160 00:07:42,468 --> 00:07:44,593 [classical cello piece playing] 161 00:07:50,009 --> 00:07:52,426 [sighs] 162 00:07:52,426 --> 00:07:54,426 You know any En Vogue? 163 00:07:55,510 --> 00:07:57,802 -What's that? -You know. 164 00:07:57,802 --> 00:08:01,259 ♪ Free your mind and the rest will follow ♪ 165 00:08:01,259 --> 00:08:02,635 [footsteps approaching] 166 00:08:02,635 --> 00:08:04,176 -[playing "Free Your Mind"] -You may pack up now, Melody. 167 00:08:04,176 --> 00:08:06,176 [playing stops] 168 00:08:07,551 --> 00:08:10,051 Melody doesn't listen to dirty music. 169 00:08:10,051 --> 00:08:12,843 [laughs] Dirty music? En Vogue? 170 00:08:12,843 --> 00:08:14,593 I've heard that song. 171 00:08:14,593 --> 00:08:17,426 It's about being a prostitute and selling dope. 172 00:08:17,426 --> 00:08:19,843 You'll find that as your own daughter grows, 173 00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:22,259 that it's important to monitor 174 00:08:22,259 --> 00:08:23,843 what she's exposed to. 175 00:08:23,843 --> 00:08:25,259 Garbage in, 176 00:08:25,259 --> 00:08:27,510 garbage out. 177 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,635 [sighs] 178 00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:49,677 [twig snaps] 179 00:08:49,677 --> 00:08:51,677 I see you. 180 00:08:52,718 --> 00:08:55,677 [Cody] Oh. Hey... 181 00:08:55,677 --> 00:08:57,385 Krystal. 182 00:08:57,385 --> 00:08:59,468 I'm just... I'm enjoying the scenery. 183 00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:02,385 This, uh... this bush, for instance. 184 00:09:02,385 --> 00:09:04,551 This is an Ilex aquifolium, 185 00:09:04,551 --> 00:09:06,635 also known as a Nellie Stevens Holly. 186 00:09:06,635 --> 00:09:08,551 It's incredible. Incredible tree. 187 00:09:08,551 --> 00:09:10,677 -[sniffs] -You're the nelly. 188 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,760 Does Louise know that you're smoking? 189 00:09:16,343 --> 00:09:17,760 You know, Obie always says 190 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,760 the only habit nastier than smoking is poverty. 191 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,385 You got to quit spying on me, Cody. 192 00:09:23,385 --> 00:09:25,134 -I'm not... -If you want 193 00:09:25,134 --> 00:09:27,176 to accuse me of something, accuse me. 194 00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:49,677 If, um, someone were trying to give Mr. Garbeau a bad name, 195 00:09:49,677 --> 00:09:52,093 like, if they were doing it on purpose, 196 00:09:52,093 --> 00:09:55,843 what-what would the punishment be? 197 00:09:55,843 --> 00:09:58,051 Are you anticipating punishment? 198 00:09:58,051 --> 00:10:00,760 No. [laughs] 199 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,051 No, no, I'm just... I'm thinking ahead. 200 00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:05,635 You know, like that journalist, 201 00:10:05,635 --> 00:10:07,635 if she... if she did something, 202 00:10:07,635 --> 00:10:10,343 or if things get hinky this week 203 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:13,009 at the Wham Bam Thank You FAM 37th Anniversary Jam. 204 00:10:13,009 --> 00:10:17,301 If there's aggression, we put a stop to it. 205 00:10:20,134 --> 00:10:23,259 Yeah. Totally. 206 00:10:26,009 --> 00:10:29,677 But when Mr. Garbeau was swearing me in, 207 00:10:29,677 --> 00:10:31,885 he-he mentioned, um... 208 00:10:31,885 --> 00:10:33,468 [chuckles] ...killing. 209 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:37,051 That never happened before, right? 210 00:10:37,051 --> 00:10:39,134 [door opens] 211 00:10:39,134 --> 00:10:40,927 We put a stop to it. 212 00:10:45,551 --> 00:10:48,218 [man] Excuse me. Mr. Garbeau is asking for you. 213 00:10:48,218 --> 00:10:50,802 Uh, apologies, Mr. Penland. 214 00:10:50,802 --> 00:10:52,468 He asked for Mr. Bo-nair. 215 00:10:59,176 --> 00:11:00,927 It's "Bonar." 216 00:11:06,176 --> 00:11:09,134 [door opens] 217 00:11:09,134 --> 00:11:10,885 [door closes] 218 00:11:10,885 --> 00:11:12,677 [spray gun hissing] 219 00:11:29,051 --> 00:11:31,093 Hmm. 220 00:11:31,093 --> 00:11:32,802 You know, I never had a son. 221 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:42,218 Which is why the FAM Orphan Fund means so much to me. 222 00:11:45,677 --> 00:11:48,510 Oh. We can't have any streaks. 223 00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,802 If any sickos or perverts 224 00:11:54,802 --> 00:11:56,760 were to lay a hand on one of those kids, 225 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,259 I would dismember them piece by piece. 226 00:11:59,259 --> 00:12:01,176 Yeah. Me, too. 227 00:12:01,176 --> 00:12:03,968 I haven't been able to think about anything else for weeks. 228 00:12:03,968 --> 00:12:05,843 I need you to promise me something. 229 00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:09,718 Of course, sir, anything. 230 00:12:09,718 --> 00:12:12,259 With the telethon upon us, 231 00:12:12,259 --> 00:12:13,468 I want you to be in charge 232 00:12:13,468 --> 00:12:15,885 of protecting those children 233 00:12:15,885 --> 00:12:17,426 -from the sickos. -Yes. 234 00:12:17,426 --> 00:12:20,426 -Nothing is to happen to them. -No. No, sir. 235 00:12:20,426 --> 00:12:22,718 You know, you've been issued a firearm for a reason. 236 00:12:22,718 --> 00:12:25,760 You are the last line of defense from the sickos. 237 00:12:27,093 --> 00:12:29,134 Yes, sir. 238 00:12:29,134 --> 00:12:30,259 Here. 239 00:12:32,134 --> 00:12:34,760 [quietly] Here. Here. 240 00:12:37,009 --> 00:12:39,843 Okay. Very good. 241 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,802 We're good. Good, good, good. 242 00:12:42,802 --> 00:12:44,677 Oh. I, um... 243 00:12:44,677 --> 00:12:46,760 I bought a box of toys for the kids. 244 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,593 Don't forget to bring that with you. 245 00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:49,843 Okay. 246 00:12:49,843 --> 00:12:52,176 Spectacular work, son. 247 00:12:52,176 --> 00:12:53,134 [laughs] 248 00:12:53,134 --> 00:12:54,968 Spectacular. 249 00:12:54,968 --> 00:12:55,802 Thank you. 250 00:13:02,218 --> 00:13:04,218 [sighs] 251 00:13:34,385 --> 00:13:38,134 Okay. Um, "Who was the smartest man in the Bible?" 252 00:13:38,134 --> 00:13:40,468 I don't know. Who? 253 00:13:40,468 --> 00:13:43,760 "Abraham. He knew a Lot." 254 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,593 "A Lot." 255 00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,635 Yeah. Genesis. 256 00:13:48,635 --> 00:13:52,093 [sighs] Yeah, okay, then. 257 00:13:54,551 --> 00:13:58,051 -"Why do you have to be quiet in church?" -Why? 258 00:13:58,051 --> 00:14:00,176 "Because people are sleeping." Oh. 259 00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:03,301 Guess they're not afraid to go after the pastors, hmm? 260 00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,635 [sighs] 261 00:14:05,635 --> 00:14:07,551 [clears throat softly] 262 00:14:15,176 --> 00:14:18,343 [sighs] I'm sorry, Bets. Uh, I don't think he's coming. 263 00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:23,051 Do you think it's the FAM again? 264 00:14:27,551 --> 00:14:31,093 Yeah. I do. 265 00:14:31,093 --> 00:14:34,385 [Ernie] Darn it, Bets, I've told you, it's Wham Bam. 266 00:14:34,385 --> 00:14:36,218 Now is not the time to talk about it! 267 00:14:36,218 --> 00:14:39,218 [Bets] You said... you said you would wear that hat 268 00:14:39,218 --> 00:14:41,385 and talk to me on July 25. 269 00:14:41,385 --> 00:14:43,176 Now, I didn't get the hat thing at first, 270 00:14:43,176 --> 00:14:44,677 but I went with it. 271 00:14:44,677 --> 00:14:47,802 July 25 was last week, and now it's Wham Bam. 272 00:14:47,802 --> 00:14:51,426 I am so sick of you hiding behind FAM. 273 00:14:51,426 --> 00:14:53,968 [Ernie] I am not hiding! I-I am helping people. 274 00:14:53,968 --> 00:14:55,385 [Bets] Are you? 275 00:14:55,385 --> 00:14:58,259 Are any of these people making any money, Ernie? 276 00:14:58,259 --> 00:15:00,093 [Ernie] I-I opened the door for 'em. 277 00:15:00,093 --> 00:15:02,051 What, am I supposed to walk through it for 'em, too? 278 00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:03,551 [Bets] Listen to yourself. 279 00:15:03,551 --> 00:15:05,009 FAM is changing you. 280 00:15:05,009 --> 00:15:06,843 -[Ernie] Please stop! -[sighs] 281 00:15:06,843 --> 00:15:10,385 Bets, we will talk about this... 282 00:15:10,385 --> 00:15:12,551 [sniffs] 283 00:15:12,551 --> 00:15:15,176 [argument continues indistinctly] 284 00:15:15,176 --> 00:15:16,927 [flushes toilet] 285 00:15:16,927 --> 00:15:18,218 Hell. Damn. 286 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:21,551 Piss. Shit. Ass. 287 00:15:21,551 --> 00:15:22,802 Motherfucker. 288 00:15:22,802 --> 00:15:23,927 Bitch. 289 00:15:23,927 --> 00:15:25,802 Pimp. Dick. 290 00:15:25,802 --> 00:15:27,677 Boobs. 291 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,301 Motherfucker. 292 00:15:29,301 --> 00:15:30,802 Bitch. 293 00:15:30,802 --> 00:15:32,551 -[flushes toilet] -Ass. 294 00:15:32,551 --> 00:15:34,009 Shit. 295 00:15:34,009 --> 00:15:35,009 Pimp. 296 00:15:35,009 --> 00:15:36,468 Dick. 297 00:15:36,468 --> 00:15:37,426 Boobs. 298 00:15:39,843 --> 00:15:43,385 -[door creaks open] -[sniffs] 299 00:15:43,385 --> 00:15:45,593 Hi. 300 00:15:45,593 --> 00:15:46,677 -Hey. -[door closes] 301 00:15:46,677 --> 00:15:48,468 Are you ready for your din-din? 302 00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:50,802 [Destinee fussing] 303 00:15:50,802 --> 00:15:52,551 Hey... 304 00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:54,593 Make a phone call. 305 00:15:54,593 --> 00:15:55,968 Who's on the phone? 306 00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:01,301 Is this your handwriting? 307 00:16:05,218 --> 00:16:05,968 Yeah. 308 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:11,009 Krystal, have you been working with that journalist, 309 00:16:11,009 --> 00:16:12,093 Mirta Herrara? 310 00:16:12,093 --> 00:16:14,468 Mm... 311 00:16:14,468 --> 00:16:17,259 Oh, yeah. 312 00:16:17,259 --> 00:16:19,343 She heard me at your rally and wanted to interview 313 00:16:19,343 --> 00:16:21,385 "The Alligator Widow." That's it. 314 00:16:21,385 --> 00:16:23,927 Oh. 315 00:16:23,927 --> 00:16:26,176 -Oh, okay, that's it. -Listen, 316 00:16:26,176 --> 00:16:28,635 I took a job driving my ass out to Paradise Cay 317 00:16:28,635 --> 00:16:31,176 three times a week so I could do arts and crafts with Louise. 318 00:16:31,176 --> 00:16:32,510 -Uh-huh. -So you can get off my back 319 00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:33,677 about this loyalty crap. 320 00:16:33,677 --> 00:16:35,301 Yeah, well, that's the thing, Krystal. 321 00:16:35,301 --> 00:16:36,885 The Krystal I know doesn't just say 322 00:16:36,885 --> 00:16:39,468 "yes, ma'am, no, ma'am" with a smile. 323 00:16:39,468 --> 00:16:41,677 The Krystal I know doesn't do that without a smile, either, 324 00:16:41,677 --> 00:16:43,927 so I'm just-- I'm wondering, 325 00:16:43,927 --> 00:16:45,593 why did you decide to work with Louise? 326 00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:47,009 [scoffs softly] 327 00:16:47,009 --> 00:16:48,760 Cody, I know you don't get this, 328 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:52,343 but some people take jobs because they need the money. 329 00:16:52,343 --> 00:16:54,134 I'm working the best job I can find, 330 00:16:54,134 --> 00:16:56,259 'cause I don't want my daughter to be homeless, 331 00:16:56,259 --> 00:16:59,301 in case I decide I don't want to live with you. 332 00:17:03,510 --> 00:17:05,635 [softly] I'm just trying to protect you, Krystal. 333 00:17:05,635 --> 00:17:07,718 [phone ringing] 334 00:17:07,718 --> 00:17:09,802 Protect me from what? 335 00:17:09,802 --> 00:17:12,218 [dog barking in distance] 336 00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:18,093 [phone continues ringing] 337 00:17:18,093 --> 00:17:20,218 [sighs heavily] 338 00:17:20,218 --> 00:17:21,635 -Hello. -[man] Yes, I'm calling 339 00:17:21,635 --> 00:17:24,718 -for a Krystal Stubbs? -Yeah. 340 00:17:24,718 --> 00:17:26,927 I'm with Sunnyside Terrace Senior Living. 341 00:17:26,927 --> 00:17:29,218 [birds chirping] 342 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,510 Hi. 343 00:17:37,802 --> 00:17:39,760 -Hi. -[woman] Hello. 344 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:41,301 I'm Krystal Stubbs. 345 00:17:41,301 --> 00:17:43,093 I'm Ruth. 346 00:17:43,093 --> 00:17:45,093 Oh, I'm here for the interview 347 00:17:45,093 --> 00:17:47,009 with, uh... 348 00:17:47,009 --> 00:17:48,343 You know what, I never got a name, 349 00:17:48,343 --> 00:17:50,760 but I'm here for the office manager position. 350 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,885 -I got called. -Oh. 351 00:17:52,885 --> 00:17:54,259 Sheila? 352 00:17:54,259 --> 00:17:56,426 [tinny music playing over speakers] 353 00:17:56,426 --> 00:17:58,176 ♪♪♪ 354 00:17:59,843 --> 00:18:02,551 This lady says she's here 355 00:18:02,551 --> 00:18:04,593 to interview for manager. 356 00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:08,176 But I'm the manager. 357 00:18:08,176 --> 00:18:09,259 Oh. 358 00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,009 What did you say your name was? 359 00:18:11,009 --> 00:18:13,385 -Krys... -[Pat] Krystal Stubbs. 360 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:14,885 Oh, goddamn it. 361 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,677 I am sorry about the crank call. 362 00:18:16,677 --> 00:18:19,677 But you should be flattered, 363 00:18:19,677 --> 00:18:21,718 because you have been requested 364 00:18:21,718 --> 00:18:25,635 by a butter-fudging millionaire! 365 00:18:25,635 --> 00:18:26,927 [Buck] Hi. 366 00:18:26,927 --> 00:18:28,802 -[chuckling] Buck Bridges. -Hi. 367 00:18:28,802 --> 00:18:30,468 Platinum Washington. 368 00:18:30,468 --> 00:18:32,968 Let's take a little stroll. 369 00:18:32,968 --> 00:18:34,301 -Okay? -All right. 370 00:18:34,301 --> 00:18:36,259 You know, Obie and I, we stay out 371 00:18:36,259 --> 00:18:37,635 of each other's territory. 372 00:18:37,635 --> 00:18:41,051 But I am finding that more and more of my IBOs 373 00:18:41,051 --> 00:18:43,927 are retiring here in Florida 374 00:18:43,927 --> 00:18:46,093 and staying involved with FAM. 375 00:18:46,093 --> 00:18:48,510 You know, for the passive income, of course. 376 00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:49,802 Uh-huh. Uh, look... 377 00:18:49,802 --> 00:18:51,301 I need to get to work. 378 00:18:51,301 --> 00:18:54,134 Hey, look, honey, when you accosted Patrick 379 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,218 in the men's room of the Hilton Hotel, 380 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,009 you seemed very eager to talk to me. 381 00:18:58,009 --> 00:18:59,176 What happened to you? 382 00:18:59,176 --> 00:19:00,510 [mocking] "What happened to you?" 383 00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:04,468 Let's go outside. Okay? Come on. 384 00:19:04,468 --> 00:19:06,968 -[Krystal] Ah... -[indistinct conversation] 385 00:19:06,968 --> 00:19:08,593 Uh, excuse me, guys. 386 00:19:08,593 --> 00:19:10,677 We're gonna need that table. 387 00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:11,968 Come on, come on, 388 00:19:11,968 --> 00:19:13,176 -double time, Cocoon. -What'd he say? 389 00:19:13,176 --> 00:19:14,468 Okay. 390 00:19:20,635 --> 00:19:22,426 So... 391 00:19:22,426 --> 00:19:25,677 -The game... has changed. -[Patrick grunting] 392 00:19:25,677 --> 00:19:30,134 Now, if Garbeau's gonna go after my guy 393 00:19:30,134 --> 00:19:34,677 with brawn, I'm gonna go after him with brains. 394 00:19:34,677 --> 00:19:36,176 Espionage. 395 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,009 -[sighs] -Now... 396 00:19:38,009 --> 00:19:40,927 you had a private recording of Obie, 397 00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:44,551 and you have access to Paradise Cay. 398 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:47,301 Somewhere on the grounds, there is a recording 399 00:19:47,301 --> 00:19:50,718 from August of '78 in Miami, 400 00:19:50,718 --> 00:19:53,134 and it would be very damaging to Obie 401 00:19:53,134 --> 00:19:55,009 if his downline were to hear it. 402 00:19:55,009 --> 00:19:57,343 So I want you to find that tape... 403 00:19:57,343 --> 00:19:59,343 -No. -I will make it... 404 00:19:59,343 --> 00:20:01,718 No. Obie was gonna buy the water park 405 00:20:01,718 --> 00:20:03,051 that I was manager at, 406 00:20:03,051 --> 00:20:05,176 and I thought, if you outbid him, 407 00:20:05,176 --> 00:20:08,093 then maybe I wouldn't lose my job. 408 00:20:08,093 --> 00:20:09,677 Do you want to buy the water park? 409 00:20:09,677 --> 00:20:12,593 [chuckles] Buy a water park 410 00:20:12,593 --> 00:20:13,885 next to Disney World? 411 00:20:13,885 --> 00:20:15,176 No, I definitely do not. 412 00:20:15,176 --> 00:20:18,009 Okay. Well, then we're done here. [chuckles] 413 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:20,259 $10,000. 414 00:20:23,343 --> 00:20:25,510 And he'll never know it was you. 415 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,176 So pretty. 416 00:20:30,176 --> 00:20:32,510 -Who's pretty? Who's pretty? I'm pretty? -[laughing] 417 00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:33,927 I'm pretty? Huh? I'm pretty? I'm pretty? 418 00:20:33,927 --> 00:20:35,051 -[phone ringing] -All right, come on. 419 00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:36,134 Here we go, here. Brush my hair. 420 00:20:36,134 --> 00:20:37,593 -[phone ringing] -[girl laughs] 421 00:20:37,593 --> 00:20:39,968 [Stan] What are you doing? You think this is funny? 422 00:20:39,968 --> 00:20:41,343 Hello? 423 00:20:41,343 --> 00:20:43,760 Krystal Stubbs is on the phone for you. 424 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,968 -I'm not here. -[giggling] 425 00:20:46,968 --> 00:20:51,718 She says it's important. 426 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:53,385 Okay. All right, girls. 427 00:20:53,385 --> 00:20:56,635 I'll be right back, okay? Come on... 428 00:20:56,635 --> 00:20:59,051 [Stan sighs] 429 00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:01,343 Here you go. 430 00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,051 Thanks, honey. 431 00:21:03,051 --> 00:21:05,551 The park's in escrow. 432 00:21:05,551 --> 00:21:07,677 I really don't want this deal to fall apart now. 433 00:21:07,677 --> 00:21:10,134 -I don't need another bidder. -[Krystal] No. I just... 434 00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:14,968 If you weren't selling the park, 435 00:21:14,968 --> 00:21:16,843 do you think I'd have worked out as manager? 436 00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,134 [Stan] Oh. 437 00:21:18,134 --> 00:21:20,426 Well, I don't know. You're no Ernie. 438 00:21:20,426 --> 00:21:21,968 You don't like to work. 439 00:21:21,968 --> 00:21:23,510 Well, who likes to work? 440 00:21:23,510 --> 00:21:25,218 Ernie. I just said that. 441 00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:26,760 Look, you don't like to work, 442 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,259 but... [sighs] 443 00:21:28,259 --> 00:21:30,259 ...you also don't take crap from people. 444 00:21:30,259 --> 00:21:32,968 You're always coming up with new ideas 445 00:21:32,968 --> 00:21:34,468 to make things better. 446 00:21:34,468 --> 00:21:36,343 You would have done a fine enough job. 447 00:21:36,343 --> 00:21:37,635 Maybe a good job. 448 00:21:40,635 --> 00:21:42,843 Can I use you as a reference? 449 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,718 If another opportunity comes up? 450 00:21:44,718 --> 00:21:46,385 Yeah, yeah. Of course. 451 00:21:46,385 --> 00:21:47,927 Thanks, Stan. 452 00:21:47,927 --> 00:21:49,968 Have a nice life. 453 00:21:52,176 --> 00:21:54,343 -[sighs] -[phone beeps] 454 00:21:58,259 --> 00:22:01,176 [birds singing and cooing] 455 00:22:04,968 --> 00:22:06,968 What? 456 00:22:08,385 --> 00:22:10,468 Here's some coffee. 457 00:22:14,051 --> 00:22:16,510 I'm sorry I've been so suspicious of you. 458 00:22:17,718 --> 00:22:19,760 I've just been so paranoid 459 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,385 about the reporter thing. 460 00:22:21,385 --> 00:22:24,677 I want you to know that I'm going to trust you 461 00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:26,635 from now on. 462 00:22:26,635 --> 00:22:28,593 Good. 463 00:22:28,593 --> 00:22:30,885 You have to. 464 00:22:30,885 --> 00:22:33,343 [sighs] 465 00:22:33,343 --> 00:22:35,385 [Obie] The successful entrepreneur 466 00:22:35,385 --> 00:22:38,426 knows that business is war. 467 00:22:38,426 --> 00:22:41,468 And on the day of the great battle, 468 00:22:41,468 --> 00:22:44,134 a true warrior does what he must 469 00:22:44,134 --> 00:22:46,510 to focus on the task at hand. 470 00:22:46,510 --> 00:22:50,218 We know our enemies, FAM distributor. 471 00:22:50,218 --> 00:22:52,426 We're at war with complacency. 472 00:22:52,426 --> 00:22:54,051 With mediocrity. 473 00:22:54,051 --> 00:22:55,593 With a world that tells us 474 00:22:55,593 --> 00:22:57,927 what we've got to take and who we've got to be. 475 00:22:57,927 --> 00:23:00,051 [horn honking] 476 00:23:00,051 --> 00:23:02,051 But take heart, friend. 477 00:23:02,051 --> 00:23:03,968 You have trained for this. 478 00:23:03,968 --> 00:23:07,301 You can take it. You will win this war. 479 00:23:07,301 --> 00:23:10,259 It takes time, and it takes guts. 480 00:23:10,259 --> 00:23:12,093 And no, it won't be easy, 481 00:23:12,093 --> 00:23:15,677 because it is war. 482 00:23:15,677 --> 00:23:17,885 And war is heck. 483 00:23:17,885 --> 00:23:19,426 [player clicks off] 484 00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:24,426 Hey, bud. 485 00:23:24,426 --> 00:23:26,843 About the telethon. 486 00:23:26,843 --> 00:23:28,259 You know, I... 487 00:23:28,259 --> 00:23:31,218 I think I got to fly solo on this one. 488 00:23:31,218 --> 00:23:33,218 I think I'd do a better job 489 00:23:33,218 --> 00:23:35,051 if I go alone. 490 00:23:35,051 --> 00:23:36,885 Because of Mom? 491 00:23:48,051 --> 00:23:50,134 ♪ martial music ♪ 492 00:23:50,134 --> 00:23:52,593 ♪♪♪ 493 00:23:52,593 --> 00:23:54,093 [door opens] 494 00:23:54,093 --> 00:23:56,426 [door closes] 495 00:23:56,426 --> 00:23:59,718 [Obie] Yes, my friends, that is why 496 00:23:59,718 --> 00:24:02,426 we FAM distributors rally together. 497 00:24:02,426 --> 00:24:05,301 That is why we lean on one another. 498 00:24:05,301 --> 00:24:07,301 Because when the stinker thinkers are at the gate... 499 00:24:07,301 --> 00:24:08,718 -[man] There's Obie! -[Obie] ...you can look 500 00:24:08,718 --> 00:24:10,134 to your right 501 00:24:10,134 --> 00:24:11,968 and you can look to your left and see people 502 00:24:11,968 --> 00:24:13,551 just like you. 503 00:24:13,551 --> 00:24:15,968 People fighting for the same dreams as you, 504 00:24:15,968 --> 00:24:19,218 for the same hopes as you, the same success. 505 00:24:19,218 --> 00:24:21,843 And all the fear washes away. 506 00:24:21,843 --> 00:24:23,760 That's why they can't touch us. 507 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:28,301 We have our independence because we band together. 508 00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:32,301 We are the defenders of a prosperous tomorrow. 509 00:24:32,301 --> 00:24:34,510 Dawn will break, Founders distributor, 510 00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:37,426 and when it does, we'll be on that hill 511 00:24:37,426 --> 00:24:40,677 watching the sunrise together, 512 00:24:40,677 --> 00:24:42,677 victorious. 513 00:24:42,677 --> 00:24:45,301 [applause and cheering] 514 00:24:48,968 --> 00:24:51,009 [laughs] 515 00:24:51,009 --> 00:24:52,426 -Hey. -Hey. 516 00:24:52,426 --> 00:24:54,426 Nice tan. You pick that up 517 00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:56,468 at the strip mall trolling for downline? 518 00:24:56,468 --> 00:24:58,051 Is that where you found your wife? 519 00:24:58,051 --> 00:25:01,009 -[both laugh] -Hi. How are you? 520 00:25:01,009 --> 00:25:02,843 You're beautiful. 521 00:25:02,843 --> 00:25:04,677 [applause and cheering continue] 522 00:25:04,677 --> 00:25:06,301 Mr. Garbeau, the orphans are here. 523 00:25:06,301 --> 00:25:07,927 I'm taking care of them. No perverts. 524 00:25:07,927 --> 00:25:09,176 Where's my wife? 525 00:25:09,176 --> 00:25:10,635 I don't know, sir. 526 00:25:10,635 --> 00:25:12,551 This way, Mr. Garbeau. She's inside. 527 00:25:12,551 --> 00:25:14,635 [Buck] How are you? Thanks for coming. 528 00:25:14,635 --> 00:25:15,968 Good to see you. 529 00:25:15,968 --> 00:25:17,718 Come on. Let's go. We're going. 530 00:25:17,718 --> 00:25:19,593 Let's go. Don't touch the weird man. 531 00:25:19,593 --> 00:25:21,927 Don't touch him. Hold hands. 532 00:25:21,927 --> 00:25:24,510 We're going, okay? Everybody hold hands. 533 00:25:24,510 --> 00:25:26,093 -Oh. -[Destinee coos] 534 00:25:26,093 --> 00:25:28,385 Numbers are on the fridge. Hell, you know the deal. 535 00:25:31,718 --> 00:25:33,718 Is there something you want me to say? 536 00:25:33,718 --> 00:25:35,385 Uh, yeah. 537 00:25:35,385 --> 00:25:37,385 One fancy party. 538 00:25:37,385 --> 00:25:39,885 That's all it took before you treatin' me like the help. 539 00:25:39,885 --> 00:25:43,843 And then I don't even hear from you till you need a sitter. 540 00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:45,468 [sighs] 541 00:25:45,468 --> 00:25:48,927 I can't get into this now, but... I'm sorry. 542 00:25:48,927 --> 00:25:50,635 Hmm. 543 00:25:50,635 --> 00:25:52,468 -Really? -You are very lucky 544 00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:55,176 that my crabbies needed to get out the house. 545 00:25:55,176 --> 00:25:56,760 [Destinee babbling] 546 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,301 I'll be a better friend, I promise. 547 00:25:58,301 --> 00:25:59,426 Mm-hmm. 548 00:25:59,426 --> 00:26:00,843 Thank you. 549 00:26:00,843 --> 00:26:02,677 This is a huge favor. 550 00:26:02,677 --> 00:26:04,593 Oh, no, it isn't, 'cause you're paying me. 551 00:26:04,593 --> 00:26:06,176 [both laugh] 552 00:26:06,176 --> 00:26:07,927 Okay. Bye, baby. 553 00:26:07,927 --> 00:26:10,760 Hey, Krystal, you don't let those people change you, okay? 554 00:26:13,802 --> 00:26:15,968 [door closes] 555 00:26:15,968 --> 00:26:18,593 [man] Camera three, hold. 556 00:26:18,593 --> 00:26:19,927 -[man 2] Hold three. -[man 3] Position one. 557 00:26:19,927 --> 00:26:21,385 -[bell rings] -[indistinct chatter] 558 00:26:21,385 --> 00:26:22,593 [man 2] Position one. 559 00:26:22,593 --> 00:26:24,134 [man 4] Here we go, guys. Nice job. 560 00:26:24,134 --> 00:26:25,802 So, uh, look alive. 561 00:26:25,802 --> 00:26:27,259 [applause and cheering] 562 00:26:30,593 --> 00:26:31,885 [announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, 563 00:26:31,885 --> 00:26:34,176 please welcome Platinum Washingtons-- 564 00:26:34,176 --> 00:26:37,677 Obie Garbeau II and Buck Bridges! 565 00:26:37,677 --> 00:26:39,593 [applause and cheering] 566 00:26:39,593 --> 00:26:42,510 Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome 567 00:26:42,510 --> 00:26:44,134 to the 37th Annual 568 00:26:44,134 --> 00:26:48,343 Wham Bam Thank You FAM Anniversary Jam telethon. 569 00:26:48,343 --> 00:26:51,468 For the next 24 hours, we're going to be bringing you 570 00:26:51,468 --> 00:26:53,885 the best of the best right into your living room, and, folks... 571 00:26:53,885 --> 00:26:56,134 -[Buck] Wait a minute, Obie. -Hey, I just got warmed up. 572 00:26:56,134 --> 00:26:58,051 You know what? I think we're being rude. 573 00:26:58,051 --> 00:27:00,009 -[laughter] -What? Oh, yeah, I get it. 574 00:27:00,009 --> 00:27:01,885 We haven't introduced ourselves. 575 00:27:01,885 --> 00:27:03,635 -That's right. -Hit it! 576 00:27:03,635 --> 00:27:05,677 [piano plays intro to "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"] 577 00:27:05,677 --> 00:27:08,551 [indistinct chatter] 578 00:27:08,551 --> 00:27:11,468 [violins and orchestra join piano] 579 00:27:11,468 --> 00:27:14,468 ♪ My name is Bridges ♪ 580 00:27:14,468 --> 00:27:16,385 ♪ And my name is Garbeau ♪ 581 00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:18,635 ♪ You do bachata ♪ 582 00:27:18,635 --> 00:27:20,885 ♪ And you do the mambo ♪ 583 00:27:20,885 --> 00:27:22,968 -[Buck] ♪ Bridges ♪ -[Obie] ♪ Garbeau ♪ 584 00:27:22,968 --> 00:27:25,468 -[Buck] ♪ Bachata ♪ -[Obie] ♪ The mambo ♪ 585 00:27:25,468 --> 00:27:30,176 ♪ Let's call the whole thing FAM ♪ 586 00:27:30,176 --> 00:27:31,760 ♪ I have the East Coast ♪ 587 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,843 ♪ And I've got the west side ♪ 588 00:27:33,843 --> 00:27:36,176 ♪ My downline is primo ♪ 589 00:27:36,176 --> 00:27:38,510 ♪ And my folks are topside ♪ 590 00:27:38,510 --> 00:27:40,760 -♪ East Coast ♪ -♪ West side... ♪ 591 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,843 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 592 00:27:44,843 --> 00:27:46,051 Like, really pump it. 593 00:27:46,051 --> 00:27:47,510 Oh, Krystal. 594 00:27:47,510 --> 00:27:49,176 There you are. 595 00:27:49,176 --> 00:27:50,802 Ready to get your makeup done? 596 00:27:50,802 --> 00:27:53,009 We forgot some of our hats, and they're at Paradise Cay, 597 00:27:53,009 --> 00:27:54,843 so I'm gonna need you to go get them. 598 00:27:54,843 --> 00:27:56,843 Can't someone just bring 'em? 599 00:27:56,843 --> 00:27:59,093 There's no one there who can leave. 600 00:27:59,093 --> 00:28:00,510 Okay. 601 00:28:00,510 --> 00:28:04,718 ♪ Let's call the whole thing FAM ♪ 602 00:28:04,718 --> 00:28:08,718 ♪ Let's call the whole thing FAM ♪ 603 00:28:08,718 --> 00:28:10,927 [cheering] 604 00:28:10,927 --> 00:28:13,426 [Obie laughing] Thank you! 605 00:28:13,426 --> 00:28:15,802 [Krystal] Hello? Anybody here? 606 00:28:18,885 --> 00:28:21,301 ♪ bouncy, percussive music ♪ 607 00:28:21,301 --> 00:28:23,051 ♪♪♪ 608 00:28:34,301 --> 00:28:35,718 [sets purse down] 609 00:28:39,176 --> 00:28:42,593 Miami '78. Huh. 610 00:28:42,593 --> 00:28:46,760 "The Garbeau Glow: Secrets to a Healthy Marriage." 611 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:47,927 -Thank you, dang... -[door opens] 612 00:28:47,927 --> 00:28:49,259 [man] Looking for something? 613 00:28:50,593 --> 00:28:53,259 Uh, Louise sent me. 614 00:28:53,259 --> 00:28:55,927 I'm looking for a backup tape for her dance number. 615 00:28:57,468 --> 00:28:58,927 There's nothing like that down here. 616 00:29:00,259 --> 00:29:02,760 Judd, right? 617 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,009 Yeah, that's right. 618 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:08,927 Listen, I was also gonna see 619 00:29:08,927 --> 00:29:11,051 if I could get a gift for my fiancé. 620 00:29:11,051 --> 00:29:12,718 A throwback. 621 00:29:12,718 --> 00:29:15,760 From August '78. Miami? 622 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,176 Maybe it's with the eight-tracks? 623 00:29:18,176 --> 00:29:20,259 Oh, those got thrown out. 624 00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:22,677 Really? 625 00:29:22,677 --> 00:29:25,885 I'll ask around, but I'm afraid you're out of luck. 626 00:29:27,968 --> 00:29:30,635 Look, I don't know what happened to you... 627 00:29:30,635 --> 00:29:32,802 I'm afraid you're out of luck. 628 00:29:37,218 --> 00:29:39,051 [footsteps departing] 629 00:29:41,301 --> 00:29:43,093 ♪♪♪ 630 00:29:56,968 --> 00:30:00,134 And only you can help these sad kids 631 00:30:00,134 --> 00:30:02,468 -find happy FAM families. -[applause] 632 00:30:02,468 --> 00:30:04,051 [Obie] And just like all FAM products, 633 00:30:04,051 --> 00:30:05,802 there are no returns, 634 00:30:05,802 --> 00:30:07,593 -because they're all perfect. -[Buck] Yes. 635 00:30:07,593 --> 00:30:09,510 So call the number on your screen 636 00:30:09,510 --> 00:30:11,677 if you want to adopt one of these beauties. 637 00:30:11,677 --> 00:30:13,218 Or make a donation. 638 00:30:13,218 --> 00:30:15,259 And here's how it works. 639 00:30:15,259 --> 00:30:18,677 We've got a bank of volunteers standing by to take your calls. 640 00:30:18,677 --> 00:30:20,176 [phones ringing] 641 00:30:20,176 --> 00:30:22,677 Now, your donations will be recorded 642 00:30:22,677 --> 00:30:24,843 and tallied on our handy tally board. 643 00:30:24,843 --> 00:30:26,385 -[bell dinging] -[whooping, applause] 644 00:30:26,385 --> 00:30:28,510 And I got to tell you, donations have been pouring in 645 00:30:28,510 --> 00:30:32,343 all week, and we are just off to a great start. 646 00:30:32,343 --> 00:30:36,301 And later, we'll be opening the envelopes in this box 647 00:30:36,301 --> 00:30:38,843 and counting the rest of those early donations. 648 00:30:38,843 --> 00:30:41,134 For the next 24 hours, 649 00:30:41,134 --> 00:30:45,885 Buck or I will be manning the Master Phone. 650 00:30:45,885 --> 00:30:49,301 High-dollar callers will receive three minutes 651 00:30:49,301 --> 00:30:51,510 of personal mentorship. 652 00:30:51,510 --> 00:30:54,426 -With who? -With who? 653 00:30:54,426 --> 00:30:56,718 -♪ Bridges ♪ -♪ Garbeau ♪ 654 00:30:56,718 --> 00:30:59,051 -[Buck] ♪ Bachata ♪ -[Obie] ♪ The mambo ♪ 655 00:30:59,051 --> 00:31:03,176 [both] ♪ Let's call the whole thing FAM ♪ 656 00:31:03,176 --> 00:31:07,051 ♪ Let's call the whole thing FAM ♪ 657 00:31:07,051 --> 00:31:08,635 FAM roast tortilla chips? 658 00:31:08,635 --> 00:31:10,385 I don't want trouble. 659 00:31:10,385 --> 00:31:12,468 60% less fat than potato chips. 660 00:31:12,468 --> 00:31:14,051 Don't make nice. 661 00:31:14,051 --> 00:31:17,051 I know it was one of you Garbeau goons who did this to me. 662 00:31:19,802 --> 00:31:23,134 You know exactly what I'm talking about. 663 00:31:23,134 --> 00:31:25,051 I don't. 664 00:31:25,051 --> 00:31:26,885 [indistinct chatter] 665 00:31:29,843 --> 00:31:31,718 Your newest thug, Bonar? 666 00:31:31,718 --> 00:31:33,760 I have proof. 667 00:31:35,593 --> 00:31:38,301 I was supposed to do a duet with Mr. Bridges. 668 00:31:38,301 --> 00:31:40,510 "Sound of Silence," but, uh... 669 00:31:40,510 --> 00:31:42,843 You know, uh... 670 00:31:42,843 --> 00:31:44,593 [Buck] We'll be right back. 671 00:31:44,593 --> 00:31:46,718 [sighs] I was shot once 672 00:31:46,718 --> 00:31:49,551 in a jungle in Cambodia. 673 00:31:51,426 --> 00:31:54,426 Oh. Thank you for your service. 674 00:31:54,426 --> 00:31:56,593 [laughs] 675 00:31:58,927 --> 00:32:03,677 My body began healing the moment I was shot. 676 00:32:03,677 --> 00:32:05,718 Today, it's a scar. 677 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,259 [exhales] I am sorry 678 00:32:10,259 --> 00:32:13,385 you can't perform with Mr. Bridges. 679 00:32:13,385 --> 00:32:14,885 Thanks. 680 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:21,051 Worthy systems sustain themselves. 681 00:32:21,051 --> 00:32:24,301 Your body will heal. 682 00:32:24,301 --> 00:32:28,677 And the Garbeau organization 683 00:32:28,677 --> 00:32:33,301 will disregard any retaliation. 684 00:32:33,301 --> 00:32:35,510 ♪ jangling music ♪ 685 00:32:35,510 --> 00:32:37,551 ♪♪♪ 686 00:32:42,218 --> 00:32:44,218 [birds squawking] 687 00:32:44,218 --> 00:32:46,551 ♪♪♪ 688 00:32:46,551 --> 00:32:49,551 -[Judd] Pull over! -[pounding] 689 00:32:49,551 --> 00:32:51,677 It's Judd Waltrip! 690 00:32:51,677 --> 00:32:53,468 -Let me out! -Judd? 691 00:32:53,468 --> 00:32:56,176 What are you doing back there? 692 00:32:56,176 --> 00:32:59,218 I had to stow away because of the security cameras. 693 00:32:59,218 --> 00:33:00,635 We need to talk. 694 00:33:00,635 --> 00:33:03,093 -Why? -I have a quid pro quo. 695 00:33:03,093 --> 00:33:05,176 A what? 696 00:33:05,176 --> 00:33:06,593 A quid pro quo. 697 00:33:06,593 --> 00:33:08,927 -A squid? -Quid! 698 00:33:17,968 --> 00:33:21,426 Quid pro quo. It's Latin. 699 00:33:21,426 --> 00:33:22,885 It means trade. 700 00:33:22,885 --> 00:33:24,843 You wanted the Miami '78 tape. 701 00:33:24,843 --> 00:33:27,134 It was destroyed years ago. 702 00:33:27,134 --> 00:33:29,385 But I have something just as good. 703 00:33:29,385 --> 00:33:30,843 What's that? 704 00:33:30,843 --> 00:33:32,802 A story. 705 00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:34,885 I was at the top of FAM, 706 00:33:34,885 --> 00:33:37,385 but still, I was barely breaking even. 707 00:33:37,385 --> 00:33:39,885 That didn't stop Obie from parading me around 708 00:33:39,885 --> 00:33:42,843 like I was his best business success. 709 00:33:42,843 --> 00:33:44,551 So I tried something new: 710 00:33:44,551 --> 00:33:45,885 I wrote my own book. 711 00:33:45,885 --> 00:33:47,718 I sold my own tapes. 712 00:33:47,718 --> 00:33:50,301 It worked. I was finally thriving. 713 00:33:50,301 --> 00:33:52,802 It was your Splashercize. 714 00:33:52,802 --> 00:33:55,009 Obie excommunicated me. 715 00:33:55,009 --> 00:33:57,968 He told my wife I had been having sex with men! 716 00:33:57,968 --> 00:34:00,593 I don't know if she believed him or not, 717 00:34:00,593 --> 00:34:02,176 or just went along with what he said. 718 00:34:02,176 --> 00:34:05,051 It's a very sad story, but... 719 00:34:05,051 --> 00:34:06,677 -where's the quid? -I'm getting to it. 720 00:34:06,677 --> 00:34:08,134 I decided to fight back. 721 00:34:08,134 --> 00:34:10,468 And when I wouldn't shut up, they sent that attack dog. 722 00:34:10,468 --> 00:34:12,510 Roger Pendleton? 723 00:34:12,510 --> 00:34:14,426 That man blew up my boat. 724 00:34:14,426 --> 00:34:17,343 After that, I just wanted to survive. 725 00:34:17,343 --> 00:34:20,259 So, when he said I could earn my way back into FAM, 726 00:34:20,259 --> 00:34:24,343 to my family, I took his offer. 727 00:34:24,343 --> 00:34:26,551 And I've been doing their chores ever since. 728 00:34:26,551 --> 00:34:29,093 -You and me both. -And after all I did, 729 00:34:29,093 --> 00:34:31,885 Harmony still won't let me see our daughter. 730 00:34:33,176 --> 00:34:34,593 Melody? 731 00:34:37,885 --> 00:34:39,593 Why's your story worth anything? 732 00:34:39,593 --> 00:34:41,259 Obie tried to kill me for telling it. 733 00:34:41,259 --> 00:34:42,551 It's dangerous to him. 734 00:34:42,551 --> 00:34:44,510 I can make a call. 735 00:34:44,510 --> 00:34:47,385 If it's something I can sell, I'll consider it. 736 00:34:47,385 --> 00:34:49,593 You just have to help me see my daughter tonight. 737 00:34:49,593 --> 00:34:51,677 Even just for five minutes. 738 00:34:51,677 --> 00:34:54,760 How's three minutes and 56 seconds sound? 739 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,843 Five minutes isn't a big ask. 740 00:34:56,843 --> 00:34:59,593 No, that's how long her mom's onstage for their dance number. 741 00:34:59,593 --> 00:35:02,301 I can sneak her out and have her back before anyone notices. 742 00:35:02,301 --> 00:35:05,468 -Can they pick a different song? -What? 743 00:35:05,468 --> 00:35:07,760 -No. -Wh-What about "Purple Rain"? 744 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,009 Judd, I can't change the song. 745 00:35:10,009 --> 00:35:12,093 You have three minutes, 56 seconds. 746 00:35:12,093 --> 00:35:14,134 [crowd cheering, chattering] 747 00:35:16,176 --> 00:35:18,134 Great. Everybody's here. 748 00:35:18,134 --> 00:35:19,760 Keep walking. 749 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,843 Ernie. 750 00:35:21,843 --> 00:35:23,510 -[kids making gunshot noises] -Here. 751 00:35:23,510 --> 00:35:25,718 -[boy 1] I shot you first! -[boy 2] Nah-uh! 752 00:35:25,718 --> 00:35:27,510 Should they be playing with guns? 753 00:35:27,510 --> 00:35:30,635 Yeah. Where's your family? 754 00:35:30,635 --> 00:35:32,468 [sighs] 755 00:35:32,468 --> 00:35:35,968 Ernie, you're supposed to go onstage with your family. 756 00:35:35,968 --> 00:35:37,843 [stammers] They're being... 757 00:35:37,843 --> 00:35:41,927 Do you want these kids to get adopted or not? 758 00:35:41,927 --> 00:35:43,009 [whispers] Find a family. 759 00:35:45,176 --> 00:35:46,551 Have you seen Krystal? 760 00:35:46,551 --> 00:35:48,426 The orphans went on without makeup. 761 00:35:48,426 --> 00:35:49,843 They look beautiful. 762 00:35:49,843 --> 00:35:52,551 They-they look terrible. 763 00:35:52,551 --> 00:35:54,593 [sighs] Ernie, can you watch them for a sec 764 00:35:54,593 --> 00:35:56,051 while I try to find her? 765 00:35:56,051 --> 00:35:58,885 Okay? Stop eating! It's not for you guys. 766 00:35:58,885 --> 00:36:00,218 [boy] Eat my shorts. 767 00:36:00,218 --> 00:36:02,134 -[kids laughing] -[Cody] Get a life! 768 00:36:02,134 --> 00:36:04,051 Hey, no, none of that. Put the food down. 769 00:36:04,051 --> 00:36:05,802 Come on. Get your guns. Come with me. 770 00:36:05,802 --> 00:36:08,176 Orphans, walk. Move. 771 00:36:08,176 --> 00:36:10,718 Orphans moving. Come on. 772 00:36:10,718 --> 00:36:12,176 I don't like these. 773 00:36:12,176 --> 00:36:13,468 Me, neither. 774 00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:20,635 You excited about being on TV? 775 00:36:22,051 --> 00:36:23,551 It's like you get to meet 776 00:36:23,551 --> 00:36:25,385 a bunch of new friends all at once. 777 00:36:25,385 --> 00:36:28,468 The really lucky ones, you know what they get? 778 00:36:29,677 --> 00:36:31,343 A new member of their family. 779 00:36:31,343 --> 00:36:34,009 -Like you. -That'd be pretty cool. 780 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,468 -[recorder playing] -And thank you, folks at home, 781 00:36:37,468 --> 00:36:38,718 for tuning in. 782 00:36:38,718 --> 00:36:40,093 We're gonna be here a long time, 783 00:36:40,093 --> 00:36:41,885 so let's get those phones ringing. 784 00:36:41,885 --> 00:36:43,593 And I guarantee you we're gonna have fun. 785 00:36:43,593 --> 00:36:45,051 [Buck] We're gonna have lots of laughs. 786 00:36:45,051 --> 00:36:46,218 [phone ringing] 787 00:36:46,218 --> 00:36:48,677 ¿Mija? 788 00:36:48,677 --> 00:36:51,385 How much can I get for Judd Waltrip's story? 789 00:36:53,051 --> 00:36:54,760 He got excommunicated, then they brainwashed his wife, 790 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:56,468 they took away his kid 791 00:36:56,468 --> 00:36:58,635 and firebombed his boat. I'll have it all on tape. 792 00:36:58,635 --> 00:37:01,218 -Good to hear from you, Krystal. -Oh, sorry. I'm in a hurry. 793 00:37:01,218 --> 00:37:04,093 -How's rehab? -They gave me different pills 794 00:37:04,093 --> 00:37:06,051 to get me off the pills I was on. 795 00:37:06,051 --> 00:37:07,843 The new pills are pretty good. 796 00:37:07,843 --> 00:37:10,051 Sounds great. 797 00:37:10,051 --> 00:37:12,343 Well, no respectable outlet 798 00:37:12,343 --> 00:37:14,009 is gonna just buy a taped testimonial. 799 00:37:14,009 --> 00:37:15,259 Stories have to be verified. 800 00:37:15,259 --> 00:37:17,635 So you'd need an actual reporter. 801 00:37:17,635 --> 00:37:18,885 Do you know any? 802 00:37:18,885 --> 00:37:21,051 Shut the fuck up. 803 00:37:21,051 --> 00:37:23,468 If we do this right, I can get my job back 804 00:37:23,468 --> 00:37:25,635 and have a chance at paying for this vacation. 805 00:37:25,635 --> 00:37:26,510 But I want 20%. 806 00:37:26,510 --> 00:37:28,426 15. 807 00:37:29,635 --> 00:37:31,343 -Deal. -Okay, great. 808 00:37:31,343 --> 00:37:33,802 -Maybe Geraldo will run it. -[click, dial tone] 809 00:37:33,802 --> 00:37:35,218 You're welcome. 810 00:37:35,218 --> 00:37:37,093 Krystal, are you sure about this? 811 00:37:37,093 --> 00:37:38,968 Look at him. 812 00:37:38,968 --> 00:37:40,968 I couldn't imagine if someone took Destinee away from me. 813 00:37:40,968 --> 00:37:43,343 Oh, stop it, that's not why you're doing this. 814 00:37:43,343 --> 00:37:45,593 These are bad people. 815 00:37:45,593 --> 00:37:47,468 Mm-hmm. 816 00:37:47,468 --> 00:37:50,968 Harmony won't let Melody listen to En Vogue. 817 00:37:53,677 --> 00:37:56,301 Okay. 818 00:37:56,301 --> 00:37:58,051 Okay, how can I help? 819 00:37:58,051 --> 00:38:01,468 You just point that at him and hit record. 820 00:38:01,468 --> 00:38:04,968 Make it quick. Harmony's going on soon. 821 00:38:04,968 --> 00:38:07,176 [Ernie on TV] The good Lord gave me a gift. 822 00:38:07,176 --> 00:38:08,802 No, not talent. Not smarts, either. 823 00:38:08,802 --> 00:38:11,718 What I was blessed with is much more important... 824 00:38:11,718 --> 00:38:12,885 You did this. 825 00:38:12,885 --> 00:38:16,093 -Oh, sweetie. -You wouldn't let me go, 826 00:38:16,093 --> 00:38:18,343 -and now Dad has a new family. -What? 827 00:38:18,343 --> 00:38:21,468 [Ernie] ...support of the people in my life who matter most. 828 00:38:21,468 --> 00:38:23,134 -[door slams] -They give me talent. 829 00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:25,259 That's what FAM's all about. 830 00:38:25,259 --> 00:38:27,009 Family. 831 00:38:27,009 --> 00:38:30,051 Being a husband and a father to these special people. 832 00:38:30,051 --> 00:38:32,343 [cheers and applause] 833 00:38:35,426 --> 00:38:38,134 -[dogs barking nearby] -[grunts] 834 00:38:41,009 --> 00:38:43,009 [grunting] 835 00:38:46,885 --> 00:38:49,134 Have Louise and them gone on yet? 836 00:38:49,134 --> 00:38:50,885 Building's still standing, isn't it? 837 00:38:50,885 --> 00:38:52,718 'Cause they're gonna bring the house down! 838 00:38:52,718 --> 00:38:53,843 [Cody] Krystal? 839 00:38:53,843 --> 00:38:55,259 Krystal. 840 00:38:55,259 --> 00:38:57,051 -Where have you been? -[hisses] 841 00:38:57,051 --> 00:38:59,093 Have the ladies gone on yet or not? 842 00:38:59,093 --> 00:39:00,677 Uh... Oh, they're on deck. 843 00:39:00,677 --> 00:39:02,760 -Okay. -Um, go. Tell 'em to hurry. 844 00:39:04,385 --> 00:39:06,301 [Krystal] I got the hats! 845 00:39:06,301 --> 00:39:09,301 [Louise] Oh, Krystal, finally. Thank God. 846 00:39:09,301 --> 00:39:11,677 -Sorry. I hit a dog. -[women] What? 847 00:39:11,677 --> 00:39:14,510 Oh, all right. Ladies, pin quickly. 848 00:39:14,510 --> 00:39:16,968 -That's the front. -Ladies, you're next. 849 00:39:16,968 --> 00:39:18,385 -Vámonos. -[Louise] Let's go, let's go. 850 00:39:18,385 --> 00:39:21,760 Help. All right. Ah. 851 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,009 Breathe. [exhales] 852 00:39:23,009 --> 00:39:25,426 -Ow! -Sorry. 853 00:39:25,426 --> 00:39:27,510 Are you ready? Ready? Ready, ready, ready, ready? 854 00:39:27,510 --> 00:39:30,176 [all] Wham Bam Thank You FAM! 855 00:39:30,176 --> 00:39:31,551 -Let's go! -[squealing excitedly] 856 00:39:38,927 --> 00:39:41,218 [Krystal] Y'all seen a little girl with a cello? 857 00:39:41,218 --> 00:39:42,718 Excuse me. 858 00:39:44,218 --> 00:39:45,301 [Buck] Now, Garbeau folks, 859 00:39:45,301 --> 00:39:46,593 what do go-getters do? 860 00:39:46,593 --> 00:39:48,593 -[audience] Go get! -Go get. 861 00:39:48,593 --> 00:39:50,426 That's right. Go-getters go... 862 00:39:50,426 --> 00:39:52,301 -Melody? -[Buck] But go-getters aren't 863 00:39:52,301 --> 00:39:53,760 the only thing that's gonna get you. 864 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,426 The rhythm's gonna get you, too. 865 00:39:56,426 --> 00:39:59,718 Bringing that smooth Latin rhythm to you 866 00:39:59,718 --> 00:40:03,259 all the way from sunny Miami Beach, Florida, 867 00:40:03,259 --> 00:40:05,426 -give it up... -[Krystal] Hi. Melody. 868 00:40:05,426 --> 00:40:08,051 I've got a surprise for you. A friend of mine 869 00:40:08,051 --> 00:40:09,968 told me you like Yoo-hoo. 870 00:40:09,968 --> 00:40:11,927 -Who? -Your dad. 871 00:40:11,927 --> 00:40:13,843 You want to see him? I'll take you. 872 00:40:13,843 --> 00:40:15,635 [cheers and applause] 873 00:40:15,635 --> 00:40:17,468 Let's play the fast-walk game. Okay? Go, go, go. 874 00:40:17,468 --> 00:40:19,093 Come on. 875 00:40:19,093 --> 00:40:20,593 -Kissinger. -Yeah. 876 00:40:20,593 --> 00:40:22,760 -Can you watch them for a second? -Yeah. 877 00:40:23,927 --> 00:40:27,802 ♪ O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh ♪ 878 00:40:27,802 --> 00:40:29,385 ♪ O eh, o ah... ♪ 879 00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:30,885 Hey. Watch out. Little girl coming through. 880 00:40:30,885 --> 00:40:32,009 Okay? All right. Watch out. 881 00:40:32,009 --> 00:40:34,468 ♪♪♪ 882 00:40:36,343 --> 00:40:38,468 Go. Go, go, go. 883 00:40:38,468 --> 00:40:40,635 Come on. Let's go find your dad. 884 00:40:40,635 --> 00:40:41,968 But I want a Yoo-hoo. 885 00:40:41,968 --> 00:40:43,343 [sighs] 886 00:40:43,343 --> 00:40:45,468 ♪♪♪ 887 00:40:45,468 --> 00:40:47,051 [Krystal] Quick, quick, quick. 888 00:40:49,301 --> 00:40:50,802 Come on. 889 00:40:53,635 --> 00:40:55,635 Oh, fuck! 890 00:40:55,635 --> 00:40:56,718 ♪♪♪ 891 00:40:56,718 --> 00:40:58,760 ♪ At night ♪ 892 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,218 ♪ When you turn off all the lights... ♪ 893 00:41:01,218 --> 00:41:04,635 Come on. Come on, Yoo-hoo. Come on. 894 00:41:04,635 --> 00:41:07,259 ♪ There's no place that you can hide ♪ 895 00:41:07,259 --> 00:41:09,259 ♪ The rhythm is gonna get you ♪ 896 00:41:09,259 --> 00:41:10,885 ♪ Rhythm is gonna get you... ♪ 897 00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:13,593 One more time. Let's go, let's go. 898 00:41:13,593 --> 00:41:14,677 ♪ Rhythm is gonna get you... ♪ 899 00:41:16,551 --> 00:41:18,760 Okay. Come on. 900 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,927 ♪ Tonight ♪ 901 00:41:20,927 --> 00:41:22,510 [crowd cheering] 902 00:41:24,551 --> 00:41:25,802 Krystal! 903 00:41:25,802 --> 00:41:27,426 [grunts] 62858

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