Original subtitles

Please let me go.

Who's going to rescue you now? (CACKLES)

It's Monty.

(GRUNTS)

Monty!

Monty, whatsoever will we do?

Drink Monkey Up, of course, and go bananas!

-(CHUCKLES) - Let's fly.

Oh, Monty, you're my hero.

(STUTTERS) Monty, Monty. Cheat, cheat, product name to camera.

Product to camera, it's the big black box with the lens!

Hey, I'm trying.

- Cut! Cut! Cut! (GROANS) -(CAN CLATTERS)

Dessy, I need a little help here.

I'm tangled up, again. I'm having a panic attack.

You're having a panic attack? You're only three feet off the ground here.

Stan is not happy, he could fire us.

Hey, you mean he can fire you.

The drink's called Monkey Up and I'm the face of the franchise.

Now, shh, I'm trying to find my happy place.

Monty, Monty, snap out of it.

And the Oscar goes to Monty for Planet of the Monkeys.

(LAUGHS)

In your dreams.

He's fine, everybody, just another diva moment.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Ah, there you are.

(SPITS)

- Take that away. -(GASPS)

I'm not putting that junk in this temple.

That's Monkey Up, you petulant primate.

Cut him down, cut him down, cut him down!

There you go.

You know what? I've had it with commercials.

I want to do some real acting, you hear me?

Real acting!

"To hold as 'twere the mirror up to nature...

"To show virtue her feature, scorn her own image."

Shakespeare?

Hello? William Shakespeare?

William Shakespeare?

(SIGHS) Forget it, I told you Stan's a hack.

I've had just about enough

of this attitude.

(LAUGHS) My attitude? Have you seen your lnstagram?

You got more 'tude than a girl prepping for prom.

Selfie, duck lips? That is so last year.

Little old for the hashtags, aren't we?

Well, I got one for you, #wannabe.

(LAUGHS)

Or how about #egomaniac?

How about this? #monkeyoutofhere.

- I'll be in my trailer. -Monty.

Monty, sorry about that.

Monty, hey, hey... The reporter from ETV is here to do a piece on you,

she's setup by your trailer.

It's about time I was recognized for my superior talent and humility.

- How's my hair look? -It's perfect but promise me you will behave.

You are under contract

to say only good things about Monkey Up, remember?

Sure Dessy, I'm an actor, I'll act.

That's what I'm worried about.

(COMMERCIAL PLAYING ON TV)

Monty, whatsoever will we do?

Drink Monkey Up, of course, and go bananas.

Drink Monkey Up and go bananas.

Let's fly.

SPOKESPERSON: Drink Monkey Up and go bananas.

We can start designing the layout for the charity gala.

(CHUCKLES) Mmm-hmm.

Mom, can we buy a monkey?

(WHISPERS) We can't have wild animals in the house, sweetie.

Uh, the e-vites are done.

Uh-huh. Mmm-hmm.

Yep, I'm heading out now.

I should be in the city within the hour.

But, Mom, you said you were taking me to school.

Sorry, Mommy's got a new important job

with a lot of responsibility.

I have to get the store ready for Christmas

and for the Annual Hartz Charity Gala.

Yes.

Oh.

Love you.

(CLATTERING)

-(BOARD CLATTERING) -(GROANS)

ETHAN: Ow!

Page one.

Sounds good, see you shortly, Mr. Hartz.

(GASPS)

- How's the new president of Hartz Toyz? -(SIGHS) Stressed.

Ah, anyway, it's a courtroom drama with lots of drama.

Oh! I need to get to the office.

- Oops! "Okay. Okay,

(PANTING)

(sums)

Okay. Oh, don't forget to pick Sophie up from gymnastics after school.

Mmm-hmm.

U-ussnue)

Ugh!

(sums)

Come on, I'll take you to school or you're going to be late again.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

I've been practicing for, like, weeks,

I so hope I get Juliet.

They are going to pick whoever has the best chemistry with Romeo.

You'll be great.

Hey, you just moved here from California, right?

Yeah, I'm Ethan.

We're neighbors. I'm Taylor.

Yeah.

- Ashley. - Rebecca.

Hi.

You're auditioning?

Uh... (STUTTERS) Yeah, no.

Uh, yeah. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

(CHUCKLING)

- Good luck with that. - See you later, neighbor.

So, the rumors are true then?

Monty the Monkey can talk?

I think my speaking speaks for itself, Erin. (CHUCKLES)

Monty, you play an action hero in the Monkey Up commercials.

But what is Monty like when he's not on camera?

You know, Erin, most actors would say,

I'm nothing like the character I portray on TV.

But the truth is, I am exactly the character I portray in the commercials.

- Really? - Oh, yeah.

Just last week, someone put blackjelly beans in myjelly bean jar.

(CHUCKLES) Nobody likes the black ones, am I right?

- Well, I... - Of course I am.

I was about to unleash a can of Monkey Kung Poo on their butts. (EXCLAIMS)

What's that, Jackie Chan? Huh? I don't think so.

Hi-ya!

(CLEARS THROAT)

But it turned out to just be the new craft service girl

replenishing my stash, so I let her off easy.

You know, I'm compassionate. Anyway, the point is, I'm method.

I don't do anything on the show I wouldn't do in real life.

So, you do all your own stunts?

Erin, honey, of course I do all my own stunts.

Seriously, would you ask Tom Cruise that question?

All right, then. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

So, how does one become a talking monkey and the voice of Monkey Up?

Like most of the greats, I had humble beginnings.

I grew up in the Jersey Zoo with my mama,

my brothers Mort and Mooner

and my sister Melody.

I always suspected I was adopted.

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHING, FARTING)

(VOCALIZING)

I longed for something new and exciting.

So, one night, my mama took me out of the zoo

to go see Shakespeare in the Park.

didn't know it at the time, but my life was about to change.

I discovered acting.

It was like magic, and I was hooked.

"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon that is already sick and pale with grief."

MONTY: We went back night after night, and I memorized every line.

"My parts, my title."

I knew I had the gift.

"And my perfect soul shall manifest me rightly."

And that's how you learned to talk?

You know the term "monkey see, monkey do"?

Well, no one monkey sees, monkey dos like a monkey.

But then one day, my life changed forever.

Mama went to the jungle in the sky.

My mama used to say, ”Follow your dreams,

"become an actor, but always remember

"that fame and fortune come and go, but family is forever."

Oh, that's very touching.

I mean, what does that even mean, anyway?

But I got a bronze star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Now that's forever.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah.

It was time for me to exit stage left.

I knew if I didn't get out of the New Jersey Zoo,

my talent would be wasted.

"To be, or not to be

"that is the question."

That's when I met Dessy.

He promised to help my dream of becoming a movie star come true.

I mean, sure, it's just commercials now, but I trust it'll get better.

- Or I'll fire him! - Hmm?

(LAUGHS) I'm just kidding.

You know, I'm just holding out for the right movie role, Erin.

Well, in that case, I assume you're aware that Cappello's new movie stars a monkey?

Wait, what? Cappello? The Angelo Cappello?

- Uh, yep, mmm-hmm, the Cappello. - No.

It actually says here,

- Cappello is using a CG monkey. - What?

So, why do you think you were passed over?

Passed over? Please.

This interview is over.

- Poof! I'm gone! -(GROANS)

Dessy, trailer, now.

Monty, Monty.

You are so not getting an invite to my Oscar party.

(SCOFFS)

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

INSTRUCTOR: Okay, balance beam.

Arms up. Nice.

Nice.

Good.

(GRUNTS)

Okay, that's class.

-(GIRLS CHUCKLING) -(WHISTLE BLOWING)

See you all next week.

How come you didn't know Cappello's new movie stars a monkey?

We've got to get on it now, Dessy.

Get my agent on the phone.

(LAUGHS) You don't have an agent. You got me, your trainer.

I don't need a trainer, I'm already stacked.

Look at this gun show.

Okay, that is very impressive, but humans have agents.

You're a monkey, remember?

Lots of famous animals have agents, Steven Seagull.

- Oh, you mean Seagal. - That's what I said.

And what about that guy who married Heidi Klum.

He's not actually a seal.

Okay, Snoop Dogg? Lil' Bow Wow?

Sheryl Crow? Bee-yonce?

Michael J. Fox? Need I go on?

- Those are people. -Tiger Woods?

- Not an animal, a human. -(SCOFFS) Come on.

Are you going to call Cappello's people or what?

Okay, I already reached out to Cappello's casting director

and I quote,

"Cappello is not going to hire the face of Monkey Up to star in his next film."

A computer cannot act.

You need to convince him he needs me.

I'm a trained actor, thank you very much.

I've done Shakespeare in the Park.

You saw Shakespeare in the Park

but that doesn't make you "Macmonkey."

Don't Mac-mock me.

With my acting chops, obvious good looks and natural charisma,

I'd make the perfect movie star.

Why don't you eat your jelly beans,

chill out in your hammock and watch The Jungle Book.

No. "0. no, no, no, no.

Come on, what am I paying you for?

JIM: Hey.

CLARE: (LAUGHS) I've never seen you jog in your life.

Yeah. Just getting the endorphins going, so I can have some energy to write tonight.

Remind me, why did I quit the law firm to be a writer?

Uh, because it's your dream and in this family we follow our dreams.

- Yes. -(BOTH LAUGH)

Oh, how was your day?

Uh, exhausting, but I think I've got a handle on it.

So, where's Sophie?

- I thought you were... - I thought you were...

- Picking her up. - Oh, God!

Oh, so sorry.

I am so, so, so sorry. Let's get you home, okay?

Please, honey, I'm sorry.

It'll never happen again.

What's it going to take for you to forgive me?

Hi, Dad, how was your day?

Fine, I guess.

She took that pretty well.

I just bribed my daughter.

I am a horrible parent.

Oh, I got it.

I'm going to convince Cappello to put me in his movie.

Who doesn't love me? I love me.

(MONTY PANTING)

- Anything? - Uh, one second.

(DISHES CLATTERING)

Um...

- He's not in here. -(GROANS)

Well, you better find him and fast.

I own his tail.

You know, I think I know where he went.

(SIRENS BLARING IN THE DISTANCE)

(GRUNTS) All right, shouldn't take long,

just keep the meter running.

Charge it to Monkey Up, he'll cover it.

Angelo, my man,

it's great to finally meet you.

Can I call you Angie?

No, Angie's a girl's name.

I'm Monty from the Monkey Up commercials.

- Charmed, I'm sure. - How'd you get in here?

Question isn't how I got here.

It's how lucky you are to have me in your next movie.

- Am I being punked? Kate! - KATE: Yes!

Please, don't fire me. Please, don't fire me, please, don't fire me.

Would you please explain how this monkey got in my office.

- Hey, toots! - I don't know, Mr. Cappello.

Angie, Angie, dream with me.

Picture a monkey on the side of the Empire State Building.

That's never been done before. What do you got to lose?

Time, money, credibility, respect?

Did I mention a third Oscar?

Just let me audition.

Look, this is a movie about human relationships.

And the intricacies of family.

I saw your interview on ETV.

- You're cocky and you're arrogant. - What?

You don't know the first thing about family or being selfless.

- Selfie? I'm Mr. Selfie. -(SHUTTER CLICKS)

You going to retweet that? You can totally retweet it.

Just #MontytheMonkey.

The answer is no.

I'm going CG, computer generated.

But computers can't act.

I'm Shakespearean trained.

- Kate. - Yes.

Please escort this monkey out of my office.

You are making a big mistake, fella. Huge.

You know what, I'm not going to beg.

You'll come crawling back to me.

He's just so cute.

Monty, we need to talk this out.

Frankly, my dear Dessy, I don't give a darn.

I am not going back to commercials.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop, stop, stop.

I need to commandeer your skateboard.

- Hasta Ia vista, Dessy. -(EXCLAIMING)

DESMOND: Monty, that's a $400 phone! STAN: Stop that monkey!

DESMOND: Monty!

Whoa!

- Monty! -(PANTING)

Monty!

(MONTY EXCLAIMING)

STAN: We've got to get that monkey!

DESMOND: Monty! Get back here!

Watch where you're going!

Look out, coming through.

Move it, lady!

(YELLING)

(BOTH MUMBLING)

Whoa!

Watch out. (EXCLAIMS)

(WOMAN GROANS)

They say I don't do my own stunts.

(GRUNTING)

- DESMOND: Monty. -(LAUGHS)

STAN: Where is he? Where is he?

(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

That is it! I have had it with that banana tree hugger.

There has got to be another monkey

of equal intelligence without attitude. Now find it!

CLARE: See you tomorrow. PHIL: Good night, Mrs. Andrews.

- Drive safe in the storm. - Oh, I will, thanks.

'Very 900d. - Oh!

I got to get inside, it's ajungle out here.

Phil, could you please have that dollhouse delivered to my house tonight?

I made a deal with my daughter?

Oh, well, of course, ma'am. I'll personally attend to it myself.

- Thank you, have a good night. - You're welcome, ma'am, good night.

Whoa!

What is this place? A taxidermist?

They have to keep it so dark in here?

How's a guy supposed to find his way around?

Whoa, what was that? I got to hide.

PHIL: There's the dollhouse Mrs. Andrews wanted.

Oh, dear. What was...

Who do you work for, huh? What are you doing down there?

(SNEEZES)

Gesundheit?

(GASPS)

Stop staring at me.

Okay, let's get out of here.

(sums)

That was close.

Oh, oh! This looks like a better hiding spot.

(DOOR CREAKING)

It ain't The Ritz, but it will have to do.

Okay, this is the house that Mrs. Andrews wants delivered

to her place in Jersey tonight.

(SNORING)

I want to thank the Academy...

I'll go get coffee and, you know, bada-bing, bada-boom, let's work as a team.

Good luck, don't break anything.

(YAWNS)

(GASPS)

Wow!

-(GASPS) -(SNORING)

(RUSTLING)

-(CONTINUES SNORING) -(GASPS)

Huh! What? Where am I?

Yes, they got me a pet monkey.

Whoa, and whoa, lam nobody's pet, I'm a free agent.

No way, aren't you Monty from Monkey Up?

In the flesh and fur, you want an autograph?

- Why are you wearing an elf costume? - Long story, kid.

I'm doing research for a movie, you know, getting into character.

- What movie? - Well, I don't exactly have the deal done yet.

My people are talking with their people, so I can't talk about it.

You know what I'm saying?

Okay, it's a movie starring me, myself and I. Enough said.

Wait right here, I'll be back.

Well, wait a second, kid, you didn't tell me where I am.

I gotta get out of here. lam wasting valuable time.

- Good morning, sweetie. - What are you doing?

I am equally distributing the blood between both hemispheres of my brain.

They put their selfies on a wall? #weirdos.

You look like you're going to explode.

Explode with ideas for plot and characters, if that's what you mean.

- Can I have a monkey? - We just got you a dollhouse.

Ask Mom.

I asked Mom if we could buy a monkey. I'm asking you if I can have one.

Well, I guess I'm not the only lawyer in the family, huh?

Why don't we ask the judge when she gets home from work, okay?

- Whoa, who are you, pal? - Oh, you talking to me?

Yeah, you, monkey boy, with the little hat.

I'm sorry, who are you?

I'm with the neighborhood watch.

Did you jack that banana from the Andrews' house?

Don't you lie to me.

Oh, please, I borrowed it.

Now, get out of my grill before I go all Monkey Kung Poo on your butt.

- Oh? (BARKS) -(GASPS)

Got to go.

- Now, you're threatening me? - Yeah, that's not good.

I'm shaking in my paws.

Rabid dog! Somebody call the cops!

- Poof! I'm out of here. - Tucker, stop!

- Go away, Tucker! - MONTY: Cut! Cut!

Call in my stunt double, like, now!

(BARKING)

Watch it, this tail is precious. Yow!

Let him go, Tucker!

(BARKING)

- Monty, are you okay? -ls there blood? I don't do blood.

Especially my own. Oh!

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

Where am I? What's happening?

Oh... Am I going to make it, Doc?

The prognosis is good, it's just a scratch.

CLARE: Sophie. Time for school.

I have to go to school, rest now. Doctor's orders.

- Just show me the monkey. -It's over here. Here. See?

- Ah! - DESMOND: Huh?

This is where Monty's from.

- They lookjust like him. - Yeah.

Hey, little guy.

Can you say, "Monkey Up."

-(STAN LAUGHS) -(FARTING)

Oh, no, that is rude.

-(VOCALIZING) -(BOTH SCREAMING)

STAN: Hey!

(MOONER LAUGHS)

Hey! He took my wallet!

(SCREAMS)

(GROANS)

(SNIFFS)

- Oh, a head shot. - Got you right in the kisser.

What is that?

(SNIFFS) It smells like...

Poo.

Ugh!

(SNIFFING)

Monkey poo, to be precise.

It just means they like you.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

(KIDS CHUCKLING)

So, how about him? It's animatronic.

- Can it do what Monty did? - Watch this.

-(BUZZING) -(CREW coos)

DESMOND". W ow. Whoa!

That's not... That's not...

That's normal!

That's normal, that's supposed to happen.

Hey, kid, I noticed you got a family.

Yeah, I have a mom, a dad and my brother, Ethan.

You know, maybe I could hole up here for a bit and learn about families.

It's a little suburban, but, I mean, I'll get used to it.

How much to rent the house out for, like, a couple of weeks?

I don't know.

- Give me a number. -$10?

Ah, you drive a hard bargain, kid, mmm.

Just one problem, I don't quite have my wallet on me.

- You could pay me another way. - How's that?

You're a brave action star.

Very brave, actually.

That movie Brave? Loosely based on my life.

Then you can help me with my gymnastics.

Yeah, sure. You got a deal.

Seal it with a high-five.

I guess we're gonna stick with the gold, I think.

I like the direction you're going with, Clare.

Good. Oh, great.

(PHONE VIBRATES)

- Do you want to get that? - No, Mr. Hartz, it's okay. Thanks.

Here, let me show you the Christmas trees, we're thinking about.

- No Netflix? What am I gonna do all day? - Come on, let's tuck you in.

Up we go.

In we go.

Dad, can you please tell Sophie to stay out of my room

and stop eating myjelly beans?

Soph, stay out of his room.

But I didn't.

I swear.

We need to lose the brother. That kid is a drag and a half.

Lose him? We can't, silly. He's a part of our family.

Mom says he just gets a little grumpy sometimes

because he's almost a teenager.

You'll love him once you get to know him.

Well, you know what they say, kid,

"Keep your friends close, but your family closer."

Good night, Monty.

Good night, kid.

What? No water? What's next?

I will be insisting on a rent reduction.

Whoa! Now, that's a soaker tub.

I am going in, full Monty.

(GRUNTS)

- Yeah, things are okay, Mom. -(GASPS)

They're just really hectic.

All right, this monkey is going under.

-(GRUNTS) - Sophie's adjusting,

but I don't even have enough time to teach my daughter how to do a cartwheel.

- No, Ethan's not making any friends. - Awkward.

I know, but it's not like his mom can really help with that, you know.

- Yeah. -(BLOWS BUBBLES)

Yeah, I don't know, it's always been Jim's dream to write.

I thought not having to grind it out at the law firm.

Hey! Okay, breathe. Ah!

(BUBBLING)

Oh, I know.

(MONTY GRUNTS)

I figured this move to New Jersey would be the best thing for everybody.

(CHUCKLES) Okay, yeah.

Yeah, I know, Mom. Thanks.

(SIGHS) Can't a fellow get a little privacy?

(BELCHES)

(TYPING RAPIDLY)

And then we'll shoot in Africa.

What's that sound?

"Terrance West takes off his suit jacket and rolls up his sleeves

"while staring at the defendant's eyes.

"He means business. He begins closing arguments to the jury..."

Uh, snooze-fest, I'd be napping, too, if I was writing this garbage.

Let's see. Wizards, done. Vampires, overdone.

Well, you know what they say, write what you know.

Oh, I got it, monkeys.

(YAWNS)

(CHUCKLES)

You still got it, Jimbo.

- All right, kid. - Can you go first?

Who, me? Up there? No, no gymnastics.

I can't get hurt before my audition, (CHUCKLES) 'cause I'm an action hero.

Well, what do you think about before you jump off something high?

How my hair looks. But in your case, I wouldn't look down.

Just focus on a point in the distance, that's all you got to do.

All right, kid, you're doing great. Look at this.

All right, focus, focus.

(GRUNTS)

All right, good first try, kid.

The good news is there's nowhere to go but up.

"But, soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."

Oh, that is it. Enough is enough.

No, no, no.

You read Shakespeare like you're reading a cookbook.

Shakespeare deserves power, passion, and fortitude.

You're butchering his words as if they were a Christmas turkey.

Oh, I'm Monty, by the way.

I'm renting the dollhouse that's inside your house.

Monty? From Monkey Up?

What's on your face?

It's avocado, banana, cucumber.

Does wonders for the pores.

Look, I know it's not every day that a celebrity stays in your house,

but while I'm here,

I refuse to listen to you make a mockery of Shakespeare.

(ETHAN slsl-ls)

Well, don't give up on yourself that easily.

I just got to know, what's the motivation here?

Why do you want to learn Shakespeare, kid?

Well, there's this girl...

And she's going out for Juliet.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let me stop you right there.

You're doing this for a girl?

That is an excellent reason to learn Shakespeare.

The ladies eat it up, listen, I can help you with that.

- Really? - But it's going to cost you.

In jelly beans. Just no black ones.

So, you're the one who's been eating myjelly beans?

I won't confirm or deny that.

Do we have ourselves a deal?

Seal it with a fist bump.

(sums)

Hello. Whoo!

- Oh! -(BOTH LAUGH)

You're smiling.

That means you made some progress on your manuscript?

I did, but I must have been in the zone because I don't remember writing any of it.

Ooh, the courtroom caper?

The drama? No, no, no, it's totally different now.

Now, it is the story of a monkey.

I know, it know it sounds so random, but it's so high-concept.

It's crazy, I can actually feel the story being channeled through me, you know.

It needs a lot of work, of course,

but I can feel the creative juices moving around inside my body.

Oh?

So, quickjog, then I'm back at it.

Okay. No, no, no.

(SOFTLY) Oh, my God.

Steady, steady.

Oh, no.

(sums)

I did it, Monty.

You sure did, kid.

(SNORING)

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Shall I hear more or shall I speak at this?

Yeah, you laugh, but you're wearing this next, pal.

What's my motivation? Oh, yeah, bananas.

Hi. (COOS)

Here you go.

Thank you. It's perfect.

Doesn't anybody read the ingredients to this stuff?

I mean, it'll rot your brain.

Okay, arms straight.

(CHUCKLES)

As you can see, bananas are nature's superfood.

Now, this is what they should be putting in those energy drinks.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Looks like it's gonna be a cheat day.

Bon appétit.

ETHAN: "Let's kill the moon, for it is..."

(sums)

Oh, my gosh.

I'm not gonna get it in time.

I think you may be right, kid.

You and Shakespeare go together like plaid and stripes,

kittens and water, sea lions and great white sharks.

Oh, I got it. You ever hear of Cyrano De Bergerac?

Uh, Shakespeare's cousin, right?

Yup, you nailed it.

(STUTTERS) Really?

No! He was a Frenchman with an agile tongue and huge nose.

I'm talking like Dumbo's ears huge.

People would come from all over just to see his schnauzer.

Anyway, he used his way with words to help this guy get a girl.

And I will do the same for you.

Except in this version, Cyrano will be really, really handsome.

Some have compared him to Clooney.

(STUTTERING) Okay, how?

Here, put these on.

I'll call you.

What's your number? I got a sonographic memory.

655-6789. - Okay, got it.

Now, you are either gonna listen to me and have a half chance at surviving,

or you'll be the one that looks like a monkey.

I can't believe I just said that.

Would through the airy region stream so bright

that the birds would sing and think it were not night.

This'll do nicely.

(APPLAUSE)

Well done, sir.

Well done.

Tough to beat that one.

Next up, Ethan Andrews.

Ethan Andrews?

Oh, thank you for making it.

(sums)

(SOFTLY) Monty, where are you?

Whenever you're ready, Ethan.

Where have you been?

Look to your left.

MONTY: I can see you.

- But soft! - But, soft!

- What light - What light

-through yonder window breaks? -through yonder window breaks?

-It is the east... -it is the east...

Okay, kid, get down on one knee

and look Taylor in the eye.

- And Juliet is the sun! - And Juliet is the sun!

Arise, fair sun and kill the envious moon.

(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

Bravo!

(APPLAUSE)

You did it, kid!

All right! Bravissimo.

Okay, so, I think I got the solution to all our problems.

(TIN CLATTERING)

Show me.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Hey, everybody!

It's me, Monty.

Drink Monkey Up

and go bananas!

-(GRUNTS) - Oh, that's not...

(CONTINUES GRUNTING)

STAN: We need Monty back.

It's...

-(SIGHS) -(TYPEWRITER DINGS)

Oh, jeez, another family crisis.

Monty to the rescue.

You stuck?

- I hate to see you struggle. -(SOFTLY) Whoa!

Monty, is that really you?

Well, we had to meet sooner or later.

Especially if I'm gonna star in your movie.

Oh...

Oh! Oh, my goodness.

I've done it.

The stress of being a lawyer made me go nuts.

And then I became a writer and I really blew a gasket.

He's losing it.

(GASPS)

Snap out of it!

There's only room for one dramatic actor in this house.

It's probably all that junk you're drinking.

Do you even know what's in Monkey Up?

No.

I'm Monty, it's a long story involving being raised in a zoo.

(STUTTERS) Just like my story.

- Actually, it's our story. -(MUMBLES)

I may have embellished a little.

You know, "Based on a true story" stuff.

Like an memoir?

Mmm... Of sorts.

The lead monkey is wanting acceptance among his peers

to be recognized for his superior talent,

gain fame, fortune, and celebrity status.

It's a universal tale.

Oh, yeah. Right, makes sense.

I figured, if I want ajuicy lead role in a movie,

I can't just sit around and wait for that to be written.

So, I took matters into my own hands.

Okay, maybe I am like Hemingway.

I'm just gonna go with it.

So, then I figured, the dad has to take the kids Christmas shopping.

Yes, that's great!

And I'm gonna have the mom character come back in at the end of the story.

Honey?

Where did you get that jacket?

You look like Hugh Hefner.

Oh, this old thing? Uh, this is what we writers wear.

I thought you had a business dinner with Mr. Hartz tonight?

Oh, I do, I just came home to change. (CHUCKLES)

Have you been writing all day?

Yes.

What is that on your desk?

Uh, that is a monkey.

I use it for inspiration, you know, for my story.

The one I told you about.

Oh, it is so life-like.

We could sell a ton of those at the store.

Oh, and we should get one for Sophie for Christmas.

She's always going on about wanting a pet monkey.

(LAUGHS) Where did you get it?

Uh, I was jogging near a garbage can...

(STUTTERS) And can you believe someone was gonna throw this stuffy away?

(SOFTLY) No, wow. Well, we can use it as a prototype.

It is a little chubby, kind of like the Pillsbury Doughboy.

But we can slim it down.

- Can I borrow it? - No, no.

I need it. You know,

when I'm at a loss of ideas, I use it.

I cuddle it like a little teddy bear. It's so cute and cuddly.

Seriously?

Like, hey, look! Whoo! Swingin' monkey!

Giving me ideas all day long! Whoo! Check it out.

Whoo! (LAUGHS)

(GRUNTS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oops.

I'll just pick up the monkey.

Okay, honey, I won't take your stuffed monkey away from you.

You know, maybe you should get some sleep.

You've been writing all day.

No, no, no, I am crushing it.

If I keep going at this pace, I'm gonna have a draft to my publishers by Thursday.

Okay.

(sums)

Oh, oh... Okay, okay.

- All right. - Bye.

So, wanna tell me what that was all about?

I couldn't tell her, she'd think I was crazy. Not until we're finished.

By the way what's the ending?

Good question, it hasn't happened yet,

so, over to you, Jimbo.

Just remember, everybody loves a happy ending.

Why don't we split up and we'll find the best tree ever, okay?

- Christmas! - Okay. Yeah.

I'll be right back. See you in a bit.

Uh... Taylor. What are you doing here?

I'm here with my mom, we're buying a Christmas tree.

Oh, right, makes sense.

This is it, the moment you've been waiting for.

Ask her to the party.

My mom's big Christmas Charity Gala for Hartz Toys

is on Saturday in the city.

Oh, cool.

Ask her to come, dummy.

Uh, do you want a dummy?

I mean, comey... Come...

Come to the party?

Yeah, sounds fun.

Okay, cool.

All right, you're on your own, kid.

Soph and I are off to ride the train.

(HORN TOOTING)

(SNIFFS) I know that smell.

Oh, I've been looking for you, banana boy.

- Houston, we have a problem. -(SNARLS)

Here comes a whole bunch of ugly.

KID: Somebody stop that dog!

CONDUCTOR: Come back with my train!

We're gonna need a faster train!

(BARKING)

-(ELF GASPS) - MONTY: Sorry.

Santa, get out of my way!

(SANTA GRUNTS)

SANTA: I could use a little help here!

ELF: Don't worry, Santa, I'll save you.

Hey, guys!

I found a tree!

What'd I miss?

ELF: Right here, Santa!

Jeez, did you guys see that?

ALL: Monty.

MAN: Honey, go get a picture.

- You know Monty? - You know Monty?

Well, I guess the monkey's out of the bag.

I was so worried that if I told you guys

I almost finished my novel with Monty's help,

you'd think I was crazy.

Crazy talented.

What about me getting the lead in Romeo and Juliet because of Monty.

You learned from the best.

Me, obviously.

And me, learning the balance beam.

A monkey teaching gymnastics?

- Genius! -(ALL CHUCKLE)

Hey, whatever we tell your Mom, it has to be after the Hartz Charity Gala.

She'll be so relieved it's over. She'll be in a receptive mood.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! How long are we talking here?

I told the kid that this is just a temporary assignment.

You know, undercover to learn my role.

I have plans to fulfill my destiny

of becoming the first monkey movie star.

At least stay until opening night.

Please stay until my performance, Coach?

You think I'm gonna fall for those puppy dog eyes?

I'm an actor, I invented that look.

Okay, great performance. You got me. I guess I could stay a little longer.

(CHUCKLES)

Monty, the monkey from the Monkey Up commercials, has disappeared.

The police have not ruled out foul play.

I'm here at the Monkey Up Studios with Monty's longtime friend

and trainer, Desmond,

and the owner of Monkey Up, Stan Levin.

- Levine. - Levine.

We're just so worried about our little baby.

AH alone out there.

Yes, (STUTTERING HEAVILY) we miss our monkey so much.

(CRYING)

- Monty... Absolutely.

Monty, if you can hear me,

Dessy loves you.

So, the ice rink will be by the tree at the back.

...last seen at a Christmas tree farm...

Okay, great. I'll see you soon. Bye.

If anybody knows of Monty's whereabouts,

please tweet using the hashtag, "WhereisMonty".

REPORTER". There will be a cash reward.

(GASPS)

Monkey Up, go bananas.

Okay.

I'm Erin Johnson for ETV.

(STUTTERS) I'm glad you like it so much,

but I could really use an advance.

I know $10,000 is a lot to ask for a first novel,

but it would really help me focus creatively.

Oh, boy. This guy couldn't sell bananas to a monkey.

Yeah, I know the ending could be a little more dramatic and...

Okay, well, I'll call you after the rewrite.

Thanks.

(PHONE BEEPS)

(PHONE RINGING)

SANDRA: Tildon Publishing. Sandra speaking.

Hi, Sandra, it's...

George M. Curious, Jim Andrews' agent, Sandy.

- Can I call you Sandy? - Uh, well...

Of course, I can. Sandy, baby doll,

what you are offering us here is chump change.

Help me help you.

There's a lot of heat on Old Jimmy and a lot of people are talking,

and those people are pretty big competitors of yours.

Now, you don't want us to swing.

- Swing? - Swing, walk.

Let's not split bananas, Sandy.

We both know this story will sell a million copies and make a great movie.

What about the ending?

Ending? That'll write itself. It'll be emotional and intense.

I promise you, Sandy, Oscar-caliber.

Sandy baby, this is so high-concept.

Why don't you just pitch it to a studio and turn it into a movie right away?

What about the price?

All I'm saying, Sandy, is show me the money.

The price has to be six digits.

You pay, we stay. Ciao for now, baby.

Monty.

Hey, kids, I have nothing to wear to this shindig.

Maybe, I shouldn't go.

Kid, where did you get that? It's perfect.

I had it made. I told Mom it was for one of my dolls.

A monkey always has to look sharp.

This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

Monty, you're family now.

Who, me? Family? Jeez, I don't know.

Thanks.

You know, kids, there's something I need to do.

I could use your help.

Anything, Monty.

SOPHIE: Wow! This place is amazing.

Merry Christmas, guys!

Oh, look, everybody, a mirage.

The prodigal monkey has returned

with his entourage, no less.

Isn't that a nice surprise?

Yo, Mr. Fancy Pants. (LAUGHS)

What are you doing here?

To what do we owe the pleasure, Mr. Hollywood?

Just spreading the Christmas cheer!

Here you go, Mort. This one's for you. Hope you like it.

Seriously, bro? (CHUCKLES)

You think you can just buy us with presents?

Are you kidding me? An iPhone?

Oh, Mooner, wait till you see what I got you and Melody.

It don't matter, Monty.

(BOX CLATTERING)

You showed the color of your stripes

when you left us in the dust after Mama died.

Yeah, yellow stripes.

Well, I'm different. I've changed.

I'm a family monkey now.

Ah, yeah, sure looks like it, bro.

What, no diamond-bedazzled bowtie?

No, you're right, that would have been too much, huh?

It's too little too late, Monty.

It's think it's best if you leave.

Sayonara. Arrivederci.

There's some big words for you, Mr. Fancy Pants.

You like those? Good. Now, scram!

I don't know what I was thinkin' comin' here.

Poof! You never saw me.

Hey, Monty!

Yeah, Mooner?

Kiss my monkey butt.

(LAUGHS, FARTS)

MOONER: Now, scram, skedaddle, get lost. We don't want you here no more.

I'm so sorry, Monty.

You Okay?

It's cool, guys. No biggie.

I never was much of a family monkey anyway.

Come on, we got a gala to attend.

(JAZZY CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)

SOPHIE: Good job, Mom.

Great, my first red carpet and I'm hiding in a cape.

Hi, how are you guys?

Mr. Hartz, Mrs. Andrews. You guys look fantastic.

We are here with Mr. Hartz, Chairman of Hartz Toyz,

and Clare Andrews, the new President.

Now, Mr. Hartz, this annual charity event

as started by your grandfather over 50 years ago.

That's right. It's only fitting

that we give back to kids in need every Christmas.

Lovely. Well, Clare, you have created the perfect scene

for the Annual Hartz Charity Gala.

Oh, thank you. Yes, well, we wanted it to feel magical

for the children as well as the adults.

And I really owe it all to the support of my family.

Um...Yeah.

Okay, Monty, hang out here.

When Taylor arrives, I'll call you on Sophie's phone.

You know, kid, eventually you're gonna have to talk to her without me.

Ciao for now, baby.

Hey, looks like a pretty happening party.

Time to mingle like a single.

Hey, kids, I could use a drink.

KID 1: He's so cool.

KID 2: He's so well-dressed.

Ah! That hit the spot.

Yeah, sorry, can't really linger.

Us celebs are always movin' and shakin'.

On the go-go, you know what I'm saying?

You're sweating.

- Hi, Ethan. - Hey, Taylor.

You look super.

Thanks, you look nice, too.

This place is so beautiful.

Uh... This is my sister Sophie.

You know we're neighbors.

- We've met before. - Oh.

Nice to meet you again

for the bazillionth time. (CHUCKLES)

(PHONE RINGING)

Go get Monty.

-(WHISPERS) I'm dying here. - Okay.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

- Mr. Cappello! Huge fan. - Hey.

How you doing? Good to see you, good to see you.

I'm a huge fan!

Hey, look at this, a cute little monkey.

Well, you gotta hand it to him, he's smarter than he looks.

He can talk.

Uh, well...

- Bottoms up. -(GLASSES CLINK)

Down the hatch.

Ah...

(BELCHES)

It's a movie about human relationships and the intricacies of family.

Well, nice chatting with you, folks, but my destiny awaits.

It's time for my close-up.

(PHONE RINGING)

Monty, you never listen!

Oh, my gosh. Is that Angelo Cappello?

Uh. maybe?

We have a 911 emergency.

Monty's wandering around the party.

Who's Monty?

- Uh... - Uh, he's our monkey?

Wait a sec, you have a pet monkey?

He doesn't respond well to the term "pets".

It's a long story.

(WHISPERS) We've gotta find him fast.

Ten-hut!

-(CLATTERING) -(GASPS)

At ease, soldier.

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Oh, wow!

It's Monty from the Monkey Up commercials.

Hey, toots. It's your lucky day.

You're getting an exclusive with next year's Oscar winner.

Roll on this.

You see, I've been incognito, writing a tour-de-force family drama

called, uh, Home With a Heart.

Okay.

Co-written by Jimbo Andrews, starring me of course.

Let me tell you, babe, this is going to be a great movie.

- STAN: What the... - What?

Monty's all over Twitter.

My days of working on those terrible Monkey Up commercials are over.

He's making a mockery of me!

No more pitching those caffeinated sugar energy drinks.

Oh, Clare, Clare, I've gotta hand it to you.

This is the best Charity Gala we've had to date.

A toast to Madam President.

-(ALL CHUCKLE) -(GLASSES CLINK)

Oh, and a nice touch with that talking monkey.

(SPITS)

Uh...

I'm sorry, did you say a monkey?

Yeah... Yeah.

I'll be right back. I've got to use the little boys' room.

A souped-up coupe. Fire engine red.

Shiny new rims. Very, very nice.

Gentlemen, your invitations, if you don't mind.

Invitation, yeah, where's your invitation?

Oh, boy, here comes trouble with a capital

- Monty! 'Monty? Monty!

Hey, Doll, fancy a little grand theft auto?

(ENGINE STARTS)

You're coming with me!

Monty, please don't make this harder than it needs to be.

Move it or lose it, Dessy.

(TIRES SQUEAL)

Monty!

- Whoo! Was that a speed bump? - Dessy!

Monty!

MONTY: Get out of the way!

Monty?

The fast and furriest.

You can't shake me!

Get out of the way!

- Yeah! - STAN: My wig!

Get out of the way!

- Get off my wig! -(LAUGHS)

Get that monkey!

- Goodbye! - DESMOND: Monty!

All right!

(HONKS)

(CLATTERING)

(GUESTS SCREAM)

- Where'd he go? - Where'd he go?

This way!

- I'm sorry. Monty? - Monty! Monty!

- Where did he go? Think like a monkey! - Okay, think.

(ENGINE WHIRRS)

Whoa!

(LAUGHS)

Oh, no, Monty!

Monty, I didn't know you could drive!

Monty, are you okay?

Yeah, kid. I'm okay.

Wish I could say the same about this party.

Well, you know what they say.

There's no such thing as bad publicity, am I right?

(TREE CREAKING)

(CROWD SCREAMS)

Whoopsie daisy.

Clare, you know this monkey?

No, no, Mr. Hartz, I don't.

- What is going on here? - I can explain!

Nobody

makes a monkey out of me.

You'll regret the day you stole my property!

Oh, yeah? Well, why don't we settle this like monkeys.

Put 'em up, come on.

You want a piece of me? Come on!

- Stay back, sir... - Come on!

Hold me back! Hold me back!

We didn't steal Monty. He left to follow his dream.

I got a contract and a court order that says that monkey is all mine.

Officer.

This is a court order that I'm obligated to enforce.

I'm sorry.

He's right.

I'm sorry, kids.

I guess I am just a fraud.

Not even an actor.

I'm just someone's pet.

Here's lookin' at you, kiddo.

- Let's go! - No, don't. Please?

Dad, do something. Monty's a part of our family.

I'm sorry. He's a monkey.

It's his property.

Monty's not a toy.

He doesn't belong to anyone.

He's a real monkey with real feelings.

(sums)

(SNIFFLES)

(SIRENS WAILING IN THE DISTANCE)

Sophie.

Monty!

We love you, Monty. We really do.

Now, can somebody please explain to me

how a talking monkey has been living in my house

without me knowing about it?

Monty's not just a talking monkey.

He's my best friend.

He taught me not to be afraid of heights.

You didn't even know Sophie got really good at gymnastics.

And I'm sure you have no idea that I got the lead in Romeo and Juliet.

And I wouldn't been able to finish my book without him.

Maybe, we would have told you about Monty...

If you'd been here to tell.

(sums)

(APPLAUSE)

Yeah, Sophie!

Yeah, Sophie!

And action.

Drink Monkey Up, and go bananas.

Cut!

A little emotion would be nice.

But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon.

(SIGHS) Yeah, this is a pretty solid contract.

Well, see, there's a buyout clause here

for $100,000.

Hey. Soph.

We're gonna get Monty back.

Thought you were goin' to work?

Nope.

I spoke with Mr. Hartz, who said that Hartz has always been a family company.

And he offered to give me a month off after Christmas

to get our family settled in properly.

- That's great, honey. - Mmm-hmm.

Gosh, and I've been so consumed at work,

I haven't even been able congratulate you on finishing your manuscript.

- Thanks. -(CHUCKLES)

- Oh. -(PHONE RINGING)

-it's my publisher. -(PHONE BEEPS)

Hi, Sandra.

Sure, I'll call you Sandy.

My agent drives a hard bargain?

Oh... (STUTTERS) Oh, yeah, that sounds fair.

I accept that.

Okay, bye. Thanks!

(EXCLAIMING)

What, what, what?

It's an offer for the rights to the manuscript to turn it into a movie.

And I get to write the script.

- Yeah, all right. -(LAUGHS) Yeah!

She said my agent was a tough negotiator.

Who's your agent?

I think I have an idea.

Mort, Mooner, Melody?

Hi, I'm Ethan, and this is Sophie.

(GRUNTING)

We were here the other day with Monty when he gave you those gifts.

(BOTH CACKLING)

We know you can talk.

Uh... No, we can't.

All right, all right, you got us, okay.

Monty's in trouble and he needs your help.

Oh, please.

We've been following him on Twitter.

He made it very clear he's too good for us zoo folk.

Monty may not have said it, but he loves you guys.

Besides, you're family, and family's always there in a time of need.

Monty's in trouble and he needs you.

Okay, okay. I have to admit

we've been feeling a tinge of guilt.

He's being held hostage at Monkey Up.

We have to bust him out.

Help us save your brother.

I'm all in.

I'm just sayin', this was clearly a re-gift.

Dozens of selfies. Who is this kid anyway?

Mort, don't make me come up there.

All right, all right, I'm in.

Me, too. Let's bail out Mr. Fancy Pants.

Uh, one problem, how are we gonna get you guys out of here?

Ah, please, the monkeys have been runnin' this zoo for years.

Between yous and me, the zookeeper's a nice guy,

but he's not the brightest banana in the bunch.

We've had a key for as long as I can remember.

30phie?

(GASPS)

JIM: "Mom, dad we are going to save Monty."

- I'll lock the doors. -I'll start the car.

Now, what are we gonna do?

We have to get in there.

HOW?

Uh...We'll split up.

I'm assuming you guys can jump over the gate?

You just watch and learn, fella.

Sophie, follow me.

Huh?

- There you are! - Sophie?

(MONTY LAUGHS)

How'd you get in here?

Kids, what are you doing here?

We came to bring you home.

You know, kids, my mama always said

that fame and fortune come and go, but family is forever.

I didn't understand what she meant, until I met you guys.

Mooner?

Melody?

Mort?

You guys came, too?

Look, Monty, you're our brother, all right?

And as much as you're a prima donna, you're also family.

That's forever.

Yeah, I missed your skinny bum-bum, bro.

I wrote you a song just to tell you how much I love you.

(SINGING OFF-KEY) Monty, you're our brother

And even if you're a diva

We love you

Okay, okay, okay.

Thank you, Melody. That was more than we needed.

What? I haven't finished yet.

I was about to do the crescendo.

Yeah, but that was plenty for me to feel the love.

-It's not my fault, Stan, okay? - I've had enough!

- He refuses to come out of his trailer. - Had enough!

They're coming.

Monty is a method actor. He responds to positive motivation.

Well, this is gonna positively motivate that stupid monkey.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

Monty, how many Monkey Up costumes do you have?

Well, let's see.

You're fired.

Look at that. Wardrobe just dropped off a bunch of new ones.

Are yous guys thinking what I'm thinking?

Oh, oh! I gots it!

Time to play Monkey in the Middle.

-(DOOR RATTLING) -(STAN GRUNTS)

Give me the key!

I'm fired, remember?

Security!

Bust it in!

Yo, over heres.

Kiss my monkey butt.

(LAUGHING)

Over here, fellas.

Hey, tweedle-dums. Behind yous!

Get those monkeys!

I think those monkeys are trying to make a monkey out of me!

Going somewhere?

We're taking Monty home!

Oh, his home is on that can!

Over here!

Are you kiddin' me? Why would I trust you?

- What's your alternative, huh? - Huh! Good point.

Come on, quick. This way, that way. Go that way, go!

-(GRUNTS) - SOPHIE: Which way, Monty?

Beats me, kid. I've never been in here.

Stan, Stan.

Uh... This way.

I can't... I won't let you harm Monty.

You're an even more pathetic action hero

than animal trainer.

-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) -(GROANING)

That tickles.

You're in my world now!

(LAUGHING)

Gotcha!

Not so fast. Freeze right there.

-(SQUISHING) -(GROANING)

(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah.

This is too much fun.

(SCREAMING)

- Hi. - Names?

Uh, Jim and Clare Andrews. We're here because...

Uh... Yeah, sorry, nobody by that name on the list.

Uh...

(STUTTERS) We're friends with Monty the monkey.

Yeah, actually, we're family.

Oh, you're relatives with Monty?

That would make you the monkey's uncle.

Please, our children are in there.

Ah, great, I guess they're baby monkeys

that need their mama monkey.

For being the mama.

(TIRES SQUEAL)

No, oh, no!

(GRUNTING)

(LAUGHS)

You're trapped now.

Nowhere to run.

Nowhere to hide.

-(CLATTERING) -(GROANING)

I don't give up that easy.

Over here, big boy!

(VOCALIZING)

(CRACKLING)

(EXPLOSION)

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS)

There's an exit. Come on!

Hurry!

We're trapped.

All right!

Enough tomfoolery!

Give me back my monkey.

He's my property!

Monty, you can jump just like the commercial.

You're wearing your parachute.

- Go, Monty, jump! - I can't!

Monty, you have to.

(LAUGHING)

He didn't tell you, did he?

Monty's afraid of heights. He ain't gonnajump.

Here, what do we get you a stunt monkey to do the jumping.

And you and I will go and eat jelly beans? How's that sound?

(LAUGHS)

You're afraid of heights?

I'm an actor, I act. I've never had to do my own stunts.

What?

I just told you guys I had no fear

because I guess I wanted you to like me.

We like you just the way you are.

You do?

- Sophie! - Ethan!

Enough of this jibber-jabber!

Give me my monkey, now!

(EXCLAIMS)

- No! - Sophie, no!

Monty!

Gotcha!

Monty!

Woo-hoo! We did it!

We're flying, we're flying!

You saved me, Monty. You're a real-life hero.

A hero? Come on, I just did what any monkey would do.

Monty, Monty, you did it.

CLARE: Oh, I'm so glad you're okay.

You were flying!

I think, I could get used to this mushy stuff.

Move!

No matter where you go, I'll find you.

Your face is everywhere.

You belong to me!

No, I'm done running.

I ran away from the zoo.

Iran away from my mama and my siblings.

It's time I start running towards something.

This is my family, and no matter what happens,

family is forever.

I have a contract that says you're my property!

Monty.

I'm sorry.

It's all my fault.

I got blinded by the money.

Desmond, give me a dollar.

- One dollar? - I just need a dollar.

Okay.

You have just engaged my legal services.

And as his attorney, I will note

that in his contract there is a buy-out clause.

Yeah.

For $100,000. (LAUGHS)

As if. Where is he gonna come up with that?

My client and my friend Monty

would like to invoke that said clause.

Yo. Hold up there.

We have target acquired.

Bombs away!

And fire!

What? No, no.

Hey, what!

Okay, that's an easy target.

That's it!

(ALL LAUGHING)

(CHUCKLES) You guys were awesome!

My sis has got the meanest throw.

Oh, Monty, you always did know how to give a lady a compliment.

I didn't doubt you for a minute, bro... Except for, you know, when I did.

Bro, you were a textbook monkey.

I knew you had it in you.

Where'd you get all them bananas, huh?

Well, you'll have to thank my "Agent" for that one.

- I've been adapted? - You mean adopted.

Welcome to the family!

All right!

You were right, Monty. Everyone does love a happy ending.

You know, I have an idea for a new ending.

Really? That's great, because Cappello called.

He's optioning our script.

- We're making a movie! - We're making a movie?

- Yes! - We're making a movie? What?

(ALL CHEERING)

We's making a movie? I didn't even audition.

Oh, I'll be the Marilyn Monroe of monkeys.

I always knew, I was gonna be famous.

- Come on. - ETHAN: Dad, can I be in it?

Uh, well, we'll see. You'll have to audition like every other kid.

I'm a method actor I can play a gangster

I do my own stunts 'cause I'm the master

do Shakespeare, even King Lear

There ain't no peer I can fake sincere

Gimme the bling 'cause I deserve

cm! (LAUGHS)

I want a limo and a chauffeur

No matter who you are I'm a big superstar

So just pass the caviar

Monkey see and monkey do You'll wanna be like him, too

Monkey see and monkey do Bet you can't hold him in a zoo

Monkey see and monkey do Star from hereto Kalamazoo

Monkey see and monkey do One big hullabaloo

Monkey see, monkey do Could not hold him in a zoo

Monkey see, monkey do Star from hereto Kalamazoo

Monkey see, monkey do