All language subtitles for Marry.Me.S01E17_English

Care for a handcrafted
cocktail?

Yes, but I'm not
sure I should say

the name of my
drink order out loud.

Can you just
drop a shot of Jager
into some Red Bull?

Gotcha. And thanks for
not saying B-O-M-B.

People tend to freak out.

-[RUMBLING]
-[PASSENGERS SHOUTING]

CAPTAIN: [ON PA]
Everyone, please take
your seats immediately.

Bruce almighty!

Oh, my God. This could be it.

Okay. Calm down. Calm down.

Just watch
the flight attendant.

If he panics, we panic.
He's fine, see?

Yep, just writing some goodbye
emails to loved ones

because I think
this is probably really it.

[PASSENGERS SHOUTING]

Oh, thank God I paid $45 for
30 minutes of Wi-Fi.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[INHALING DEEPLY]

[SHOUTS]

Goodbye, world.
It's been trill.

-[SIGNAL BEEPS]
-[PASSENGERS APPLAUDING]

Hallelujah.
Stewardess, I will take
that Jagerbomb now.

You know what? Bombs on me.

Everybody's getting bombed!

-We're getting bombed?
-No, no, no, no, no.

We're all going to die!

What?

Kay, that is the craziest
story I've ever heard,

and in college,
I worked at a suicide hotline.

May they all rest in peace.

All of them?
Like, everybody you talked to?

I was asked to resign.
Let's leave it at that.

Yeah, well,
on the flipside of that coin,

I've got a new lease on life.

And we've got a new lease
on a Nissan LEAF,

so new leases all around.

We actually got
it six months ago,

but he was waiting for someone
to say that phrase,

-so we could spring it on you
with a little pizzazz.
-Ooh.

Oh, and Kay, thank you
so much for that

email when the plane
was going down.

That was so sweet.

So touching. Thank you.

I didn't realize that we were
such big role models for you.

I wept.

Wait. Everyone got
heartfelt emails?

Dennah and I just
got one asking us

to take a box of garbage
out of her apartment.

Oh, no. I sent that one
before I even got
on the plane.

Then, why didn't
we get a goodbye?

Because the turbulence
stopped,

then the whole bomb-scare
portion of the flight
happened,

and then it was all over,
and I knew I'd see you again.

Thank God you're okay.

And thank you for
that amazing email,
by the way.

A near-death experience?

I can't imagine
anything more horrible.

Thank you, mama.
It was pretty...

-Except for my day.
-Mmm-mmm.

The guy at the juice place
called me "sir,"

a coworker told me I looked
like I was tired of living,

and my waxer
dropped me as a client

citing "creative differences."

Zoya dropped you?

You've been going
to her since you were eight.

Annie had what's
called baby beard.

Mine was incurable.

You know what?
I'll talk to Zoya
about it today at my 3:00.

What? It's the only
thing I spend money on.

Guys, my self-esteem
is at an all-time not great,

which is why,
to make myself feel better,

I have decided to finally
change my Facebook status to

-engaged.
-[ALL CHEERING]

I can't believe
you waited this long

to let the Internet know
you're engaged.

To a guy with the courage
of a stuntman

and the singing voice
of an Aimee Mann.

And, from what I've been told,

the lovemaking skills
of the ladies' man.

But, seriously, I have been
saving it for a really
tough day

'cause I know that
once I change it,

I'm going to
get an outpouring of love

and some real sincere
"You go, girl's."

Break the Internet, girl.

So your pal Kay almost dies,

but we'd rather go
with round 17 of
Annie got engaged.

-Mmm-hmm.
-Mmm-hmm.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

Okay.

Aw.

Hey, so, no dice with Zoya.

She just will not wax you
a Twin Towers tribute.

I really can't
with Zoya right now.

Hey, babe, you have got
to look at these comments.

I know it's shallow,
but it feels really good.

Like peeing in a kiddie pool.

There is just one ex
whose face I'd
really love to rub

my engagement's face in.

Dr. Lee. But he's not on
any social media.

Dr. Lee?
But isn't that that douche
you dated before me?

Why would you care?

We dated for over
a year and a half,
everything was going fine,

and then out of nowhere,
he broke up with me via email.

Subject line, unmarriable.

No, he didn't!

-He was such a dick.
-Ugh.

All right, now we have
to go shove our
happy engagement

directly in his stupid face.
How do we find him?

I may have Facebook
messaged his mom.

You're Facebook
friends with his mom?

-Sissy?
-Oh, no, thanks. I just went.

No, that's his mom's name.
She wrote back
and said, mazel tov,

and that Lee is
at Chicago General Hospital.

Okay, I'm coming with you.

What? No, you don't have to.

Yes. We're engaged now, okay?

That means that your grudge
is my grudge and vice versa,

like how you
took on the grudge
I had against Stevie Wonder.

Don't sit front row at major
sporting events, Steve.

You could sit,
literally, anywhere.

Hey, we're not just engaged.
We're engrudged.

Oh, I love that.

It's almost as
good as enbageled.

From the time we
shared a bagel.

Ugh.

-Well, come in.
-I think Kay lied
to us about when

she sent that email,
and I want to know why.

Well, her story didn't
bump me, but if you're
really curious,

I guess we could just
log in to Kay's email

and see what time
she wrote us.

Wait, do you know
Kay's password?

I know all our
friends' passwords.

Jake's is "couscous,"
Annie's is "anniegosling,"

and yours is
also "anniegosling."

I couldn't think of anything.

And... Oh, my God.
You're right.

Our emails were sent
between Annie and Jake's
and the Kevins'.

She lied. I knew it!

We have to tell her
that we know the truth.

That this is her last
chance to get 30% off,

plus free shipping
on all outerwear
from Club Monaco?

Oh, holster that look.
I knew what you
were talking about.

A guy can't make
a joke anymore?

If that's the world you want
to live in, all right.

You know, I had plans today.

[GASPS] This is where
they said he'd be.

Okay. Now, listen.

Now, I know we hate this guy
for hurting you,

but we're in
his place of work.

Babe, I'm totally chill.

I'm just going
to walk in there
super dignified

and show you off like
the prize that you are.

-Oh, babe.
-Wait.

-Why are you
wearing those jeans?
-Hmm?

I told you to
wear the hog huggers!

Oh, they're being recrotched.

-Again?
-[LAUGHS] Yeah, again.

All right, let's just get
in there.

-Sissy?
-I told you, I already went.

-Annie.
-Oh, there he is.

-What up, Dr. Lee?
-I'm not...

You're not? You're not? What?

You're not dating
my girlfriend anymore?

No, because she's
my fiancee now.

What do you think
of them apples?

-Jake...
-No, no, no, I got it.

It's just two dudes talking.
Isn't that right, Dr. Lee?

Hey, take two of these
and call me in the morning.

No, you can't,
because they're mine,
actually, baby.

Jake, no, no, no, no, no...

Hey, what are you,
eyeballing me, sucker?

You want to dance?
Because my dance card
is definitely not full!

-Jake!
-No, it's cool, honey, we...

This is Lee.

He's in a coma.

Oh. Oh, oh, that's Lee.

Very nice to meet you.

Oh, my God. What happened?

Nineteen months ago,
he was in a horrific accident.

-Car?
-Bike?

Zamboni.

He's the volunteer driver
at the rink he grew up on.

One day, he was showboating
for the kids,

doing something called
Montreal drifting when
he lost control.

He was thrown from
the operator's
compartment and then...

Oh, no. Let me guess.

I would rather just tell you.

He was run over
by the Zamboni.

That's what I
was going to guess.

That's what I was
going to guess too
based on the setup.

That rink was
always a part of him,

and for the entire
third period

of a Bantam Travel
League playoff game,

he was a part of it.

Wow.

-Literally.
-Wow.

-I know that's
a lot to take in...
-[LAUGHS]

So I'll leave you guys alone.

-Thank you, Sissy.
-Thank you.

This is horrible.

I know. I feel so terrible.

Now he'll never know
that I'm engaged.

...is the least
of my concerns,

because I am so
broken up about his
condition from here on out.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Kay? Kay!

KAY: I'm in the shower.

[ALL SHOUTING]

What the hell are
you doing in here?

You said you
were in the shower.

It's like if somebody says,
"I'm in the kitchen!"

What are you going to do?
You're going to go
into the kitchen.

-You're going to
have a bowl of soup.
-What?

Kay, we saw when
you sent our email.
You lied to us.

Fine. Look. I needed you
to throw that box out

because there
was something in it

that I didn't
want anyone to find

if that plane went down.

And I asked you two
because I trust you the most,

despite the fact
that you clearly
hacked my email.

Oh, you trust us.

The three of us, we're like...

We're like
a triangle of trust.

Aw, Kay. That really
makes me feel like

I want to ask you
what's inside that box.

I think what Dennah means
is that we're just both
so touched by

-the need to know
what's in that box.
-Yep.

I'm too embarrassed
to even tell you,

but thank you for
taking care of it.

Triangle of trust?

BOTH: Triangle of trust.

Now, will you please get out
of the damn bathroom?

Oh, it's one of those kind of
showers. Okay.

I mean, I hated the guy,
but I never wanted
this to happen.

Agreed. It's crazy
to think that this
guy's never going

to go on a hike again,
you know, or...

Nobody's going to
wear that sweet leather
jacket again.

You know, it's crazy,
nobody thinks about
the jackets and...

Nor should they.

...what happens to them.

All right, you know what?

Hey, let's get out of here

and chalk this up to
one of our classic bad
plans, you know,

like that time we took
mushrooms and went
to go see The Cove.

That totally ruined
our trip to Japan.

You know what?
Actually, babe...

-Let me say goodbye.
-Yeah?

Yeah. Lee,

I just want to
say I'm really sorry
that this happened to you

before I got to
tell you I'm engaged.

-Annie.
-I'm kidding.

Lee, good luck.
I really hope you get better.

That's sweet.
Come on, let's go.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

-[STAMMERS] What's happening?
-I didn't touch anything.

I didn't touch anything.

Wow, he's never shown
brain activity like this.

Annie, he's responding
to your voice.

Right, Doctor?

It's always a mystery
with comas, but it's possible.

Wow.

Doctor, is there any
benefit in having

Annie spend
more time with Lee?

We need to run some more
tests, but it's worth a shot.

Annie, would you mind?

Staying for
an extremely long period
of time and not leaving?

Of course I'll stick
around out of the
kindness of my heart

and not for any other reason
other than that.

[SIGHS]

I don't buy this mysterious
box story.

Kay didn't think
about us when the plane
was going down,

and now she's trying
to cover her sweet ass.

Unfortunately,
we'll never know.

Now, what are you up to?

You want to help
me find a dumpster
to throw out Kay's box?

What? You still
have Kay's box?

Let's look through it
and find out if
she was lying or not.

We can't do that.
We are in a triangle of trust.

Does that mean nothing to you,
Dennah?

We are never opening that box.

-I'll show you my boobs.
-Works for me.

Are we really doing this?

Yes. I came here to prove
I'm marriable.

Who's more marriable than
someone who

can literally
wrangle a human life

from the clutches
of the underworld?

Babe, you're marriable
because you're sweet
and you're kind

and you have the tongue of
a quesosommelier.

Thank you. But you're
telling me that if said
tongue could

also wake a man from a coma,
that's not an added bonus?

Just tell me that's not an
added bonus.

Just try to tell it to me.

That would be an added bonus.

I just don't want you to get

your hopes up and
then be disappointed,

like that time
we had sex at Alcatraz.

Annie, he'll see you now.

Okay.

Well, not really.
He'll hopefully hear you.

But, again,
even that's a long shot.

So I guess just
come in, please.

Okay.

Maybe talk about
some specific memories
you shared.

Okay. Um, let's see...

Ah, remember that
limo ride we took
after the R. Kelly concert?

Oh, I don't like
where this is going.
Maybe a different story.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

Keep going, Annie!
It's working! Same story.

We were drunk,

and, and I was wearing those
undies you got me that were,

how shall we say?
Missing a part.

-I'm going to go take a walk.
-[MONITOR BEEPING]

Wait, Jake! It's your voice.

Come to me, Lee.
Hear my voice.
Feel my power, Lee.

-No, Lee! Lee! Come to me!
-No, no, I...

Lee, I'm right here.
Can you hear me, Lee?

I believe in you, Lee.
You can do it.

-ANNIE: I believe in you, Lee.
-Lee!

♪ I believe I can fly

♪ I believe I
can touch the sky

♪ I think about it
every night and day

♪ Spread my wings and fly away

♪ I believe I can soar

♪ See me running
through that open door

♪ I believe I can fly

♪ I can fly

♪ I can fly

Come to me, Lee!

Come to me, Lee!

[HUMMING]

-[MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]
-[GASPS]

[GASPS, SIGHS]

That voice, who was that?

It's me, Annie!

No, no, no.

The man who sings
like Aimee Mann.

That is the voice that pulled
me out of the darkness.

Oh, that's me.

Hey, what do you
know about that?

Hey, you're dead, man.

-I'm God. Welcome to heaven.
-What?

Nah, I'm just kidding.
You just woke up.

So the whole thing
was very unsatisfying.

I mean, except for Lee,

who miraculously
recovered from his coma,

which, of course,
we're all thrilled about.

Sure. I mean, who wants to be
in a coma?

Oh, yeah. Nothing short of
a miracle is what that is.

Now, there's no way to sort of

gracefully rub my
pending nuptials

in his face so
close to the coma.

Right?

Mmm-mmm.

-It's frowned upon.
-As it should be.

So it is written,
so it is done.

Hey-oh, mortals.
How's everybody feeling?

KEVIN 1: I'm good.

I've been having
these migraines, but
other than that, I'm good.

Migraines, yeah.
Okay, let's see what we got.

Jake, you are not a god.

Of course not, honey.
I am a vessel for God.

I am not going to
call myself an angel.

I'll let you do that for me.

[GRUNTING]

How you feeling, Kevin?

No, I didn't have a headache.

And you never will.

Okay, I am off
to the hospital.

Wait, why?

Oh, um, Lee wants to
give me a thank-you
gift, yeah.

No, you know what they say,
receiving charity

is actually the highest form
of charity.

Babe, aren't we kind
of done with Lee?

I mean, even though
I didn't get to gloat,

I told him we were engaged,

and I thought maybe
we'd see him again
never. Okay?

Okay.

Or I pick up my hog huggers
at the crotchmaker,

I head over to the hospital,
Lee sees just
how terrific I am,

thus proving that not only
are you marriable,

but you got your claws into
a lifesaving dildo model.

So he's happy. You're happy.
I'm happy. Everybody wins.

I guess.

You know, Jake sort of has
a point there, Annie.

Except I think he's getting
a little carried away

about what type of
model he could be.

Oh, haters going to hate.

Okay, go, but talk me up.

Mention I'm still
making jewelry

because Lee was
sure I'd quit that.

You make jewelry?

Ugh, no, it's stupid.
I quit that.

I don't feel great about this.

What if it's something
that implicates
Kay in a crime?

What if she killed
Hae Min Lee?

I mean, she did
attend Woodlawn High
School in Baltimore.

Mmm, she was friends with Jay.

Wait. What is this?

GIL: [READING]
"Even Vampires Get Cancer.

"A young adult novel

"that gives
a whole new meaning

"to the phrase
'cancer sucks.'"

Written by Brandy Lamborghini.

Who the hell is
Brandy Lamborghini?

That's Kay.
That's the fake name

she gives to clubs,
restaurants and governments.

Oh, my God.

Kay's biggest secret is that
she wrote a YA novel

and she doesn't
want anyone to read it.

Well, I guess
we can't read it.

Triangle of trust and all.

"Madonna Mandelbaun
was sick, sick with a thirst,

"a thirst for blood.
Blood cancer."

I'm hooked. Keep reading.

Hey, buddy. Did I wake you?

Ah, Jake the snake,
you made it. Sick.

-What's happening, man?
-Hey, man.

Hey, oh, before
I forget, uh, Annie's
still making jewelry.

She makes... She's still
makes jewelry.

Oh, that's weird. Listen, man.

You seriously saved me,
so I owe you my life.

-No way.
-Yeah.

Oh, this is ridiculous, Lee.

Ridiculously what?

It's ridiculously nice,
but I intended to
just simply say,

"This is ridiculous
comma Lee."

Well, you know,
I heard you talking
about it when I was out,

so I got you one. Sick, right?

Dude, I have to be honest
with you, I... [SIGHS]

I wanted to hate you
after what went down
between you and Annie,

but you're cool peeps.

You, too, man.
[IMITATES EXPLOSION]

Hey, can I ask you
one more favor?

-Oh, shoot. Yeah.
-Um...

Can you teach me
how to make in
the toilet again?

Oh...

I mean, I feel like I already
did you a huge solid, but...

Yeah.

What are we talking?
Like, number one?

Right? Number one.

'Cause I'll hold your schwanz,

but I don't want to,
you know...

-Bro.
-Wipe your...

[LAUGHS] I'm kidding, okay?

-Everything is working
fine down there.
-[EXHALES]

Oh, okay. Okay. [LAUGHS]

In fact, get me a hooker.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[LAUGHS] Ah.

No, I'm not joking.
I am super horny.

Oh, sick.

It's so emotionally
conflicting.

The vampire's bite
gives teenage cancer
patients eternal life.

But then they're forced
to live forever

with the pain and discomfort
of cancer.

And the awkwardness
of being a teenager.

It's brilliant.

It's a genuine and
grounded piece of

fantasy vampire
illness fiction,

or sick fic.

Why wouldn't Kay
want it out there?

It's so obvious. The teenage
protagonist, Madonna,

struggling with
her vampire identity,
is a metaphor for

teenage Kay struggling with
her sexual identity.

Huh. I didn't get any of that.

You know what?
I should give this
to my friend Nikki.

She works at a big
publishing house.

Wow, that seems convenient.

Actually, the publishing
house is all the way
out in the suburbs.

Guess I could hire a messenger
service or something.

Do they even
have those anymore?

Honestly, it's anything
but convenient.

No, that's not what I...

Dennah, are we really
going to do that?

Buddy, this is what
the triangle of
trust is all about,

doing what's
best for each other,

even when we can't
see it for ourselves.

True. But you know

what would really
put your argument
over the top?

Nope.

You know, you don't know what
I was going to say.

Do you want to show me
what you thought
I was going to say?

Ah. Fiancee. Hey, hey.

What's up?

Good question,

considering you're
four hours later than
you said you'd be

and you're wearing
Lee's signature
leather jacket.

I'm sorry. One thing led
to another,

and we just started
chiling out, you know?

I mean, he is one of
the funniest guys I've
ever laid ears on.

Wait, you guys are pals now?

What happened to
our engrudgement?

I know he used
to be a jerk, but he's
different now, okay?

A coma can change
a guy, and I'm not
just talking about

muscle atrophy and junk neck.

No, this man cannot
change. He's like...

He's like your mom
and her hairstyle.
It just is what it is.

That seems like
an unnecessary shot.

All I'm saying is he is not
a good guy.

Then why did he invite
me to the Cubs game
tomorrow? Front row.

Trust me. He's going
to screw you just
like he screwed me.

In the back of a limo
after an R. Kelly concert?

Hey, guys.

-Hey.
-Hey.

So, question.

Why did someone named
Nikki from Wicker
Park Press email me

to confirm the submission
of my book,

Even Vampires Get Cancer,
FKA Cancpires?

Huh. Didn't know that
you had a book.

Oh, yeah, I didn't know
vampires could get cancer.

-That's a wrinkle
in the mythology.
-Yeah, me neither.

I don't know much about...

I can't believe you sent
my book to a publisher.

Only because
it's really good, Kay,

and we knew
you'd never send it.

It's so good!

You betrayed me.
First, you lied.
Then, you read my book.

-No, wait. You guys liked it?
-Yes.

What was your
favorite part? Were
the characters likable enough?

Did the suckathon seem earned?

No, no, no, no,
don't answer any
of that. I'm pissed.

Kay, it's awesome.
You're super talented.

This is what you should
be doing with your life.

I don't know.
What if no one likes it?

Do you trust us?

I mean, do you really
trust us the way that
you say that you do?

-Yes.
-You have to pursue this.

Come on, you recently
almost died.

Would you really be happy
if your legacy was simply

talent agent to bodybuilders?

Well, I mean, I do like
repping pumpers.

Okay, that's fair.

But yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Thank you.

Thanks for
pushing me into this.

I trusted you guys
to do the right thing,

and I guess you really did.

Just think how many teenagers
struggling

with their "vampire" identity
you could help.

Just like how
Fifty Shades of Grayhelped

a bunch of fat, middle-aged
women learn to
masturbate again.

Hmm.

[CROWD CHEERING ON TV]

Hey, I thought Lee was picking
you up for the game.

Oh, he is. He's just, uh,
running a few innings late.

Sure, he is.

-He is. "Sure, he is."
-[PHONE RINGS]

See? That's him.

Yo, dude, where...

No, I... Oh, I guess I'll...

Why am I not finishing my...
Well, because you're...

Yeah, no, I get it.
I guess I'll see you... Ter.

[SIGHS]

Did he ditch you
out of nowhere?

No, he didn't ditch me.

He just has some post-coma
stuff to take care of,

and he couldn't make the game.

You sure about that?

Oh, come on! I woke him out
of a coma.

And are those the two hookers
I got him?

You got him hookers?

Well, the guy had 19 months
of morning wood.

How do you even know
where to find them?

Huh?

But, I mean, you were right.
That guy is the worst.

-The worst!
-He is so bad.

The worst.

But you know what?

Thank God,
because if he wasn't,

we never would have met

and I wouldn't be sitting
with you right now.

Oh.

You know what?
We're happy together,

and that's all that matters.

I don't need to be bopping
around town,

rubbing it in a bunch
of people's faces.

I wish Lee nothing
but happiness.

That's right. God bless Lee.

SPORTS ANNOUNCER:
A round of applause
for Dr. Lee Cowen,

who just emerged from a coma.

-Oh!
-Oh, my God!

Yes!

Take a seat, coma boy!

-Yeah! [LAUGHS]
-[WHOOPS]