All language subtitles for Marry.Me.S01E06_English

♪ If I were a rich man,
yidle-deedle-deedle-yidle

♪ Deedle-deedle-deedle-dum

Oh, Annie,
you were so adorable.

Totally.

♪ I wouldn't have
to work hard ♪

Hey, not to crap
all over this,

but why the hell
are we watching
all this crap?

Oh, we have our
first meeting with our
wedding officiant

and she made the critical
mistake of telling Annie

that she wants to get
to know us.

And to know me is to know
my entire body of work,
warts and all.

Which, coincidentally,
is the name of a musical

I wrote about
a frog named Warts
and a princess named All.

I am prepared
to start from the top.

[INHALES] Or I could just do
memory from Cats.

♪ Mm... Oh, no, babe, babe, babe.

I love you, but I'm also
sometimes ashamed of you.

Annie Banannie,
I thought you said you
never did school musicals

when you were little
because of your crippling
stage fright.

I didn't.
That's actually my backyard.

My dads built me
a little stage so I could
get up my confidence,

and I did my own costumin'
and my lightin'
and my own make-upin'um.

Oh, no, she's gone
full muh-mush muh-mouth.

Just to clarify,
you chose Fiddler
and the role of Tevye?

♪ It's in my range

♪ And so it is

♪ The harmony is here

[OFF-KEY]
♪ Trying and failing
to find the note ♪

Eh, nah.

Well, one thing that
never hits a sour note...

♪ Waffles

[VOCALIZING]

[CHUCKLES]

Yum.
Mommy like.

Oh, well, then baby's got
a hot steaming load for ya.

Ew. That came out wrong.

Point is I got
a bunch of those.

I'm making a ton
for this year's
Flemish pride parade.

Back up, buttercup.
There is a Flemish
pride parade?

Well, it's really
more of a small,
tiny gathering

of really pasty,
weird people eating things

that no one else
would think to pickle.

Hmm.
Okay, no one's laughing.

So this isn't
one of those jokes
that I don't get.

Yeah, no, it's not a joke.

This is very important
to me.
This is my heritage.

I am 120% Flemish.

120?

We had a little bit
of inbreeding going on.

Why are you proud of that? Well,

it's nice to have a family
that gets along.

Really nice memories, Gil.

Speaking of memory... Oh, those aren't memories.

Those are
more just facts. I can take a hint.

♪ Memories I'm out.

♪ All alone in the moonlight

♪ I can smile
at the old days

♪ I was beautiful then [DOOR CLOSING]

♪ Touch me

BOTH:
♪ It's so easy to leave me

♪ All alone with the memory

♪ Of my days in the sun

[WHISTLING]

♪ Oh, no,
you can't hold me back ♪

ANNIE: So here are my tapes.

You know,
watch them in
your own time.

Just be careful,
they are originals.

You know, don't leave them
near any large magnets.

You don't own any
large magnets, do you?

No. Medium-sized?

'Cause I'll tell you,
sometimes even a medium-sized
magnet can...

Why don't we put a pin
in these for right now?

Sure. I wanted to discuss
these questionnaires

you two filled out. Oh, great.

You both rate family
as a top priority.

BOTH: All right.

And while Annie knows a lot
about Jake's mother...

Her safety school is bard,

her pedicure color
is ballet slippers,

and she agrees
with everything
Rachel Maddow has to say,

but wishes she would tone
it down.

Nailed it.

[CHUCKLES]
Uh, Jake,

you answered the question,

"What would Annie's family's
ideal ceremony be?"

With "good question."

Yeah, well,
it was a good question.

Hmm. Can't a guy compliment
someone on a question?

Well, in the rest of
the section for
Annie's parents,

you drew a picture
of what I'm assuming is

two men shopping
for sweaters.

Well,
you're assuming wrong,

because they're shopping
for sweater vests.

Well, you've got to work
on your shading.

I'm sorry, you know what?
You do make a good point.

I mean, Jake,
you probably could make

a little bit more
of an effort to get
to know my dads.

Are you kidding?
What do you mean "effort?"

I mean, we already
have a great relationship.

Here, check it out.

Look at this. Here.

Kevin sent me a picture
of a cat dressed as a lion.

Right? I wrote back, "Roar."
And then he wrote back...

"In the future,
please do not
reply all."

It's classic Kevin. Which Kevin?

Which Kevin wrote that?

The one.
[CHUCKLES]

Okay, to be fair,
they coordinate
their outfits,

they finish
each other's sentences,

and they have the same first
and middle name.

You know? It just makes me sad

that you don't have
a relationship with my dads,

and they're soon
to be your dads too.

You're right.
Good point.

And I am going to try
to get to know them better.

I'm gonna make more
of an effort.

Starting now.
Watch this.

[CHUCKLES]
God bless social media.

Here we go.
Apparently,

Kevin loves the Pixies,
while Kevin loves Pixies.

Oh, God, it's like they're
trying to make it hard for me.

Oh, I hate this place.

I guess I'll try
the 40-minute
slow-scrambled eggs.

Apparently it's the same
temperature as your body,

so it's like eating yourself.

Ugh, who writes this menu?

Ooh, you have to
try the pancakes.

You will be blown away
by how terrible they are.

Awful. Are you waiting
for one more?

BOTH: Yes No.

Wait, what?
Oh, it's just the
three of us.

Being not weird together.

Is Annie not coming?
Is she okay?

Did somebody kidnap her?
Can you not answer
that question

because the kidnapper's
watching you right now
with binoculars?

I'm sorry, Jake,
Kevin just watched
Taken, Taken 2,

and a really sad
insurance commercial.

Though that last one
was unrelated,

but it really bummed me out.

I know.

But seriously,
where the hell
is Annie?

Well, she's home.
Safe and sound.

You know, I just thought
it would be nice
for the three of us

to be by ourselves
for once, you know.
Wouldn't that be nice?

BOTH: Yeah.

♪ Dibby dibby dibby dum
lord who made the lion ♪

Annie, where's Jake?

You have keys
to our apartment?

Oh, never mind that.

Look, every year at this
Flemish pride parade,

I make waffles
in my booth.

But this year
Marge Flarnschnard

called dibs on waffles.

And in the
Flemish community,
dibs is like sharia law.

I need Jake to help me
come up with some new ideas.

Well, Jake
is out with my dads,

but maybe I could help you.

Step into my office.

Hmm.

All right.

[SIGHS] Wow me.

Okay, what are some
other things the
Flemish are known for?

Well, we were one
of the first people

to cave to the Germans
in World War I

before everybody
was doing it in
World War II.

I'm not sure how
that's gonna translate
to a booth.

I just want to do
something special.

Ever since my grandma died,
this parade is the thing

that makes me feel closest
to her.

That and getting
my hair set.

I miss grandma Gil.

Wait, what about a song?

All great places have a song.
New York, New York.

I left my heart
in san Francisco.

I'm in Miami, bitch.

Music is the international
language.

Or is it love?
Or is it math?

I think it's Mandarin.

Whatever it is,
I am loving this idea.

We could write
and perform it together.

No, you have all these
years of theater experience,

I have all this raw
Flemish talent.

Together we could be
whatever those two things
add up to.

I don't know.
I mean,

it's been a while
since I trod the boards.

Annie, yesterday,
when we sang the entire
second act of Cats,

and then circled back around
and did the entire show
to completion,

I kinda feel like
we had "it."

Oh, my God!
I felt like
we had "it" too,

but I didn't want to
say anything

because sometimes
just talking about
"it" can jinx "it."

Shh.

I had you at "it."

[CLEARS THROAT]

So, Kevin, what's up

with those
Lunesta commercials,
you know?

Is that, like,
a glowing moth or a fairy,
or what is that?

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

Well, you love Pixies,

so I figured this would be
in your wheelhouse.

Wrong Kevin.

I'm the one
who loves Pixies.

And it's
a Will-o'-the-Wisp. Will of the what?

Will you excuse me?
I'm going to use the bathroom. Hmm?

Wait, you never go
in public places.

I'm making an exception.

What are you doing? Let go.

Oh, hey, water.
That's great.

Oh, no, no, no.

Please don't go.
Just stay and talk
to us for a little bit.

Why not?You know, maybe give us

a list of your specials
three or four more times?

Yeah, I need to talk to
you about anything.

JAKE: Just start from
the beginning. I love that outfit.

Can you tell me about it?

Where'd you buy it?
Tell us.

Does it come with the job?

Where'd you get the outfit?

[ENGINE REVVING] Ooh.

Sweet hog.

You like motorcycles? Are you kidding me?

I like motorcycles more than
I like making love to
Annie's dad.

[LAUGHS] Wow.
That's...that's a lot.

I'm assuming. Yeah.

I had a sweet Triumph
in college, man, ooh.

I used to twist the wick
up and down the big slab.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, yeah,
I still have
my brain bucket.

Sounds flimflam, my man.

I shoo-be-dooed myself.

Real flip flop-like.

That's what I would sound
like to someone
who didn't get our lingo.

That is so true.
It's like a squirrel

trying to understand
a wolf, you know.

They don't know
why we howl at the moon.

[HOWLS] [HOWLS]

Yeah, well, unfortunately,

my chopper days
are behind me. You know what?

You should get
a new motorcycle. You think?

Absolutely.
Remember that feeling?

The freedom,
the wind in your hair,

your balls vibrating
to the rhythm of the road?

That's too much information,
isn't it?

No, no, no,
I love rumble balls.

[LAUGHING] Kevin!

Hey, what'd I Miss?

Oh, I was just
talking to Kevin here,

how he should get
a new motorcycle, ri...

Mmm-mmm. What?

You mean
a two-wheeled hearse?

No, I mean a motor...oh.

Kevin, have you been
talking about two-wheeled
hearses again?

Oh, I'm sorry, Kevin.
I didn't realize
that you were

in control of what I can
and cannot talk about.

I wasn't aware
that you could so quickly

turn into such a jerk.

So, where are you guys
from originally,
where is that?

Well, Kevin grew up
in a selfish home

with selfish people
who do selfish things.

I'm from Richmond, Virginia.

More like a suburb
outside of!

[GASPS] Oh, no, don't go.

Oh, wow.

So they, you know,
they say Virginia
is for lovers.

Ugh! You're gonna go as well.

Hey, babe.
How'd it go with my dads?

Oh, awesome.

They're, uh...
We're really getting to
to know each other,

you know? I mean,

here is just one of
100 facts that I've learned.

Kevin is from Richmond,
Virginia.

Well, a suburb outside of,
but that's progress.

I'm so happy.

And in entertainment news,
Gil and I are writing
a song later,

so I'm just learning
all about splenderklauts.

Did not ask.
Do not understand
the answer.

Gosh, you are
getting to know

the two most important men
in my life,

and I am getting to know
the most important man
in your life.

[PHONE RINGING] Second only to Mr. T.

[LAUGHING]
I still pity the fool.

Hello.

Hey, yeah.

It's my dad.

And he wants
to talk to you.

Wow, one brunch
and you're already
getting phone calls?

Get a room.

[LAUGHING]
Hey, don't be jelly.

Kev-Kev.

I cannot believe you, Jake.

How can you be
so irresponsible?

[LAUGHS]

Because of you,

Kevin will not shut up
about getting
a two-wheeled hearse.

Uh, what's that?

Oh, you want to get a gift
for Annie?

Yeah, I'd gladly be
in cahoots with you.

Just let me go
in the other room.

Do you know what
we used to call those
in the emergency room?

Which was right next
door to my first
stationery store?

Well, if I had to
take a guess, I would say
two-wheeled...

Donor-cycles.
You get it? Oh. I do get it.

Do you get it, Jake?
Because they all died.

Okay, Kevin, I'm so sorry.

I see your point,
and I will talk to Kevin.

I promise.
I'm sorry.

That would be great.
[CHUCKLES]

For a minute there,
I felt like I didn't
know who you were.

And now I do.
You're Jake.

Oh, that's...

Good, right?

No, no, no, no.

[GIL HUMMING]

Okay, what about

something like...

♪ Flemish splenderkraut

♪ You make me feel
all vriendelijk

♪ Vriendelijk,
vriendel-lee, lee, lee ♪

No! God, no!
That is just garbage.

I'm so frustrated!

I can't believe
this is our Saturday.

This is what happens
when we don't make a plan.

[CROWD COMMOTION] DENNAH:
What are we watching?

Oh, it's a popular
Flemish sport.

Loosely translated,
it's called log soccer.

You basically
just throw trees.

They used to throw Jews,
but, you know.

Okay, come on, come on,
come on.

Come on, what else?
What else Flemish?

Uh, uh, uh,
okay, all right, well,

we are famous
for our chocolate.Okay.

And our frites. Yes.

So what if we did
something like...

[TAPS PENCIL RHYTHMICALLY]

♪ Frites and chocolate

♪ Frites,
frites and chocolate

♪ Chocolate treats
and frosting... ♪

Stop! Pass,
that is horrible.

Okay, I was thinking
something more like...

♪ Jimmy cracked corn
and I don't carr-bean ♪

I mean,
does it have to be
about the Flemish region?

Yes.
That's the whole point.

I knew it.
Working with friends
never ends well.

Look at Lennon
and McCartney.

Ugh, I know.
Sean and Stella

never should have
collaborated on that
sports drink.

Maybe the real problem
here is

you don't have "it."

[GASPS]
Oh, I have it!

No, you don't.

Thought you did,
but you were probably just

getting a contact "it"
off of me!

Well, Jimmy cracked corn,
and I don't care!

[DOOR SLAMS] Wait, is that something?

I feel like
I just wrote a song.

No, girl, you didn't.

Hey, Kev, my man.

I just came by to hang,

but you weren't here,

so I dropped off
some alarming literature

on motorcycle decapitations
in your mailbox.

[HOWLING]

Oh, no.

Kevin, you gone done
and did it.

I'm a wolf!

Check out my sweet
new motorcycle.

Motorcycle?
That's a Ve...

Very special motorcycle.

I owe it all to you, Jake.

That talk we had this
morning really made me
feel like a man again.

Say, can I hide
this at your place?

'Cause Kevin will kill me
if he found it.

Oh, my sweet Lord,
you actually went
and did it?

You bought a motorcycle?

Motorcycle?
You too?

This is so stupid
and selfish, Kevin.

Jake agrees.
You tell him.

No, no,
Jake agrees with me.

'Cause we run
in the same pack.

Oh!We're a pack of wolves,
and we howl.

Howl with me, Jake.

[LAUGHS]

You agree with him? Wait, you're on his side?

No, come on, guys.

I see where Kevin's
coming from,
and I also see where Kevin's

coming from, because
I know you both so well,
you know,

because we're bonding. I cannot believe
that you'd be willing

to commit to
a death machine,

but you're not willing
to commit to me.

Oh, here we go again.

Yeah, here we go again. Wait, where are we going?

I don't wanna go.
Let's stay here.
Hang out, be cool, chill.

We agreed that
the marriage thing was
off the table for now.

Yeah, we also agreed
that the motorcycle thing

was off the table,
and you just tore in here
on a hog from hell.

Scooter! Come on,
if it makes you
feel any better,

it's a scooter.

You know what,
Kevin Marie? I'm gone.

Good. Go.

[ENGINE REVVING]

Watch it, lady!

Hey.
You look great.

Hello, der hondsdolheid.

That's Flemish for rabies.

If I knew the word for
non-song helper,
I would use that.

Gil, the only language
I speak is guac.

And this means,
I'm sorry.

Guac?

[SNIFFLES]
My favorite vegetable.

Come in.

Look, to be honest,

I was just getting
stressed at the
thought of performing.

I was feeling these
twinges of stage fright.

I... You gonna get
chips with that?

Mmm? The point is I was rude.

Well, for what it's worth,

I had a rude attitude also.

Friends?Of course.

Wait, rude attitude?

Rude attitude?

Yeah, I just
said I had a rude attitude.

You're gonna
throw it right back
in my face?

[LAUGHS]
Classic Annie!

No, Gil, wait,
don't you see?

I'm feeling "it" again.

What was the name
of that weird city?

Milwaukee. No, the Flemish one

that starts with a "B." Bruges?

Are you familiar with
that classic Patti Labelle
song New Attitude?

I think so, but gimme
a little taste.

♪ I'm feeling good from my
head to my shoes

♪ Know where I'm going
and I know what to do

[BOTH VOCALIZING]

♪ I got a new attitude

♪ I got a burgess attitude

♪ I got a Bruges attituges

Oh, my God, let's go! Yes!

I was just trying to get
to know Annie's dads,

and now I feel like
I've broken the
unbreakable relationship.

What happened? Well,

Kevin screamed at Kevin
because Kevin won't commit
to Kevin.

Oh, God,
this whole name thing
is just, you know,

I wish we were just allowed
to say white Kevin

and black Kevin.
Are we?

No.Racism.

Thing is,
gay marriage being legal

has actually put a lot
of pressure on couples.

But on the bright side,
it has been a boon

for those of us
on the rebound
Janey diddle business.

I mean, they've been
together 35 years.

What's the big deal?
Why doesn't
Kevin want to get married?

Well, it doesn't matter
how long you've
been together,

you know,
taking that next step
can be terrifying.

[GASPS]
Oh, holy crap!

Okay. Kevin's afraid
to get married.

That's what this is about.

[SIGHS] I can solve this.

I was Kevin.
That was me.

Oh, yes, finally something
in my wheelhouse.

[LAUGHING]

Janey diddle business?

Janey means vagina,
and business is a-boomin'.

Soak it in, Annie.

Are you ready for this?Absolutely.

Wow, there's a few more
people here than
I was expecting.

Are you kidding?
This is more of a sidewalk
nuisance than a parade.

Anybody else's mouth feel
really dry and their palms,
like, super sweaty?

Think it's
all these bright lights.

That's the sun. Okay,

you're feeling
a little stage fright.

No bigs.
Just remember...

The hopes and dreams
of an entire region
rest with you.

Gil, I'm totally fine.

Just give me one second.

I'm never coming out.

There's my guy.

Wow, Jake.
How'd you find me?

Well, what can I say?

I got a little private
dick in me.

Hey, aren't you afraid
you're gonna get beat up
in this place?

No, they're all gay.

Really? Wow.

There's tons of
crossover between bikers
and gay dudes.

Some gay men are scared
that a motorcycle

will make them seem too gay.

Just like some gay men
are afraid of
getting married.

Some gay men is you,
Kevin.

Yeah, I understand
your meaning, Jake.

But yes,
I guess I'm scared.

Oh, yes!
I knew it!

I love it.
I was right.

[LAUGHS]
I know you so well.

I'm so happy right now.

But I'm also very sad

that you guys
are going through
what you're going through.

Why should we
change something

that has worked perfectly
for the past 35 years?

Listen, man, I get it.

Okay?
I was you.

Everything was perfect
with me and Annie.

And I was worried
if I proposed

it would ruin everything.

So you're saying
that I'm putting Kevin

through the same hell
you put Annie through.

Well, today's more
about your story.

But I mean,
you were such a dick.

Okay, sticks and stones,
buddy.

Believe me,
I'm not happy about this.

I hate letting Kevin down.

So don't.
You love him, right?

Yeah, more than anything.

You really don't things
will change?

Look, man, if they do,
it's only gonna be
for the better.

Personally, it was the best
decision I've ever made.

Mmm. That and my new part.

You know, I switched sides.

Yeah, I know,
I've been tracking that.

It's way better. Oh, yeah? You noticed?

Thanks, Jake.

Let's go find my man.

To the pride parade.

There's a pride parade
today?

Uh, Flemish.

Oh.

Baby?
Daddy's here now, okay?

So you can do it.

Just take a deep breath. ANNIE: Trust me,

if you were in here,
you would not be
recommending that.

Gotta say,
doesn't smell great
out here either.

KEVIN 1: White Kevin! [BEEPING]

People of Flem!

I have something to say!

ANNIE: What's happening?

Kevin, I'm sorry.

I've been stupid. You have.

You know, everything
has been perfect between us.

I guess I was just scared
that I would ruin it.

But Jake said some things
that made sense.

ANNIE: Jake?
My Jake?

Uh, Annie,
talking from the terlet?

More of a home thing, babe.

Kevin, what are you saying?

I'm saying that you
are the love of my life.

ANNIE: What's happening now?
Are they smiling?

Are they gonna kiss?

Honey, kind of ruining
the moment for daddy.

This is the point
where I would get on
one knee,

but the runoff from this
porta potty's potent.

And those are my pants. Yeah.

Wait. [PANTING]

I'm not gonna let this
stage fright ruin
this moment.

Start again
from the beginning.

Kevin Marie...

[INHALES]

Will you marry me?

Ooh.

Yes. Yes,
a thousand times, yes.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my dads
are getting married, yay!

Get in here, Jake.Oh.

Did you somehow have
something to do with this?

Well, when you know
two people

as well as I do,
you can create these
magic moments.

Oh, you guys!
Aw.

It's so great, guys!

[MURMURING AND COOING]

Annie, are you sure
you can handle this?

Because I can do
this alone. I'm sure.

If my dad can get over
his fear of getting married,

I can get over
a little stage fright.

Thank God, because
I cannot do this alone.

Gonna be great.

I would like
to dedicate this song

to My Two Dads.
My favorite show
of all time.

[WHIMSICAL CHORDS]

Hey-oh! And also to the Kevins.

You are the best parents
a girl could hope for,
congrats. I love you.

And also to Jake. One love.

Who knows the crap
outta you. Hit it, Gil!

[PLAYING NEW ATTITUDE
BY PATTI LABELLE]

One, two, three, four...

[SINGING]

[ALL CHEERING]