All language subtitles for Bunkd s04e19.WEB-DL.x264-ION10

♪♪

All right, campers,
I know we're in the midst

of a little heat wave.

A "little heat wave"?

My entire secret
candy stash has melted.

It's horrible.

You have a secret
candy stash?

You said too much.

Well, I'm sick of hearing
all your whining,

so I took one of
your suggestions
to beat the heat.

Air conditioning?
Misting fans?

Hose privileges?

No, off course not.

I got us
a snow cup cart.

Chef Jeff, bring her out!

Yes!

No dessert until
you finish your dinner.

So slow your roll,
candy man.

Follow me, my fellow campers!

She can't stop us all!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(SIGHS)

First trampling
of the summer.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

Welcome everyone
to my first step class.

Remember, today
I am not Chef Jeff,

I am Step Jeff.

Then why are you
still wearing your...

I like the hat!
Let it go.

All right, now everyone,
pick up your one and half
pound weights.

All right, let's stretch out
with some deep knee lunges.

So get that knee down
to the ground

like you're proposing
to your girlfriend.

Now, pop back up
because she said no.

Now laugh it off
like you were only joking.

(LAUGHING) Laugh it off.
Laugh it off.

(ALL IMITATING LAUGHING)

(PRETEND LAUGHING)
What is happening?

Now remember,
you're your biggest
cheerleader.

So really get
that self-esteem back.

Let's go, Jeff!
Let's go, Jeff!
(THUD)

Ow!
(GASPS)

I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to.

I'm Finn.
How are you?

Besides your face.

Well, Finn, I'm Derek.
And you better watch out
from now on.

There's no violence
in step class, Finn.

Now put your tiny weights
down and step away.

Well, hey, there.

If it isn't my two
favorite people at camp,

together, looking
all beautiful and pretty.

What you want, Noah?

I need help making a reel.

A reel? Isn't that
a compilation of scenes
from your acting jobs?

Normally, yes,
but I haven't booked any,

and I can't without a reel.

So I've got a chicken
or egg situation here,

and I don't have any chickens,
so I need to make some eggs.

All righty, we'd love
to help, but how?
We're not a film crew.

Yeah. I've always been
an in-the-spotlight type.

I was kicked out of
my cousin's wedding
for pulling focus.

Look,
I'll handle everything.

I just need an acting
partner for each scene

and someone to film them
with my phone.

Any dum-dum off
the street can handle that.

Well,
when you put it that way

how can we not be flattered
that you chose us?

Hey, Gwen, you know why
I'm so popular? (SOFT CHUCKLE)

Because of all my "fans."

You're gonna make
a great dad one day.

I can't believe it.

The snow cup cart's
been stolen.
What?

This is why
we can't have ice things.

(CHUCKLES) I'm gonna
make a great dad one day.

Who do you think
took it?
I have no idea.

It was locked in the pantry
but now it's gone.

A mystery?

Matteo, you should
solve it. You love mysteries.

Well, I do read a lot
of mystery books.

And watch a lot
of mystery movies.

And eat a lot
of mystery meats.

Hey. That's fair.

I'll help you, Matteo.

Don't worry, Lou.
We're on the case.

And I know
we'll track down
the low life

who took the cart.
Whatever.

Frankly, I'm fine
with it being gone.

I'm still trying to get
the shoe prints
out of my clothes

after getting trampled
last night.

Whatcha doing?

Hiding out.
I'm a hunted man.

Follow up question.
(SING SONG) Whatcha
talking about?

This mean-looking kid
named Derek
is after me.

Because I punched him.

Finn,
you punched somebody?

I didn't mean to.

I took Chef Jeff's
confusing step class

and his girlfriend dumped him,

and I was punching the air,

and I accidentally
nailed Derek in the face!

You know how it is!

Sure. Happens to us all.

Well, Derek is
coming for me.

I need you to teach me
how to fight.

No way. I would never
teach a camper
how to fight.

(SIGHS)

Tell you what.
I don't think this Derek

is really gonna do
anything.

I think he's just
acting tough.

But if you're worried
about it, I'll teach you
some defensive maneuvers,

so you can get away
from him and come get me.

What if I can't
find you?

You hide from us
a lot.

(SOFT CHUCKLE) I do do that.

All right, everyone ready
to shoot this first

western scene
for my acting reel?

Do I need the mustache?

I'm swallowing more
fake hairs than
I'm spitting out.

That can't be good.

(MESSAGE ALERT)
Noah, you got a text
from your mom.

"Hi, snickerdoodle,
I'm mailing you
extra-strength ointment

"for all your chaffing."

Don't read my texts.

All right, let's shoot
this thing.

NOAH: Ready and action!

There you are,
Tarnation Terri.

The homesteaders
you robbed sent
their regards,

along with a side
of frontier justice.

Me! Cowboy Ernie.

What's with these names?

Well, Cowboy Ernie,

if you came looking
for trouble,

you came to the right face!

Place. That's a type
in the script.

Oh, that makes
so much more sense.

Keep going.
I'll fix this in post.

You came
to the right place.

You sure you want
to do this, Terri?

I'm not just a cowboy,
I'm also...

A ninja!

(EFFORT GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

NOAH: Oh, no.

(EFFORT GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

(COUGHING)

Okay.
I know that was gross.

(CHUCKLES) But I feel
so much better now.

Finn's acting suspicious.

And he loved
that snow cup cart.

Plus, his secret candy stash

tells us he likes
to keep treats
to himself.

Yeah. We should search
his bunk.

Hey! Not so fast.

We'll need Lou's
permission.

After all,

I'm the hard-nosed
detective who does
things by the book.

Well, I'm the rogue loose
canon who leaps
before she looks.

Let's do this!

Why? It doesn't even
have a lock.

Hey! What are you doing
with my stuff?

We're investigating
the snow cup heist.

And you're
a person of interest.

Aww, I think you're
interesting too.

No. I mean,
you're our lead suspect.

Jackpot!

It's filled with ice.

Looks like someone's
going to the cooler.

I found out
that means jail.

It's from the mess hall
freezer. I hurt my hand
yesterday.

(SIGHS) He's telling
the truth.

The ice is cubed,
not shaved.

Why do you think
it was me?

Noah's the one with the bottle
of Red Razzleberry snow cup
juice on his night stand.

We've been searching
this place for an hour,

how did we miss this?

Hey, there, Noah.

Have something
you wanna tell us?

All right, my real name
isn't Noah.

Don't change the subject!

We wanna know
about this!

Tell us about
the Razzleberry, Noah!

Okay.
(SCREAMS) Or else!

I said, okay.

Lou let me borrow
the juice to use
as fake blood

in a scene I want to shoot.

But the juice
is itchy when it dries.

I sat in a puddle of it,

and now I have chafing
on my bum-bum.

(SCREAMS) Tell it
to the nurse!

Have you seen anyone
else acting suspicious?

Or heard anything
at all about
the snow cup cart?

No. Nothing.

The only person who
even mentioned the cart
to me was Destiny.

And she was just looking
for the key to the snow cup
cart pantry.

You didn't find
that suspicious?

In hindsight,
I see your point.

Can I go now?
I'll ask he questions!

(NORMAL VOICE)
Can he go now?

You can go now!

If Derek really wants
to fight, you have to
come get me.

But, let's say he grabs
you from behind before
you can?

Just go limp.

Limper. Limper.

Finn, it's time
to take a shower.

Perfect. Now, stand up.

Finn, you don't really
have to take a shower.

You can never be
too careful.

Okay. So, the goal
of this next technique

is to confuse your attacker
and make him acknowledge
the confrontation.

Like so...Halt!
State your intentions.

You try.

Halt! Line?

"State your intentions."

Halt!
State your impressions.

Nope.

Halt!
Rate your intestines!

Again.

Halt!
Shate your tinmints!

Not words.

Young lady,
night approaches,

and we've had some
horrific animal attacks
in the park lately.

I suggest you leave,
before the moon rises.

Well, I'm Doctor Sophia
Alessandra-Bronson,

professor of nighttime studies

at the university,
so I think I'll be fine.

What?
That's not in the script.

I made some tweaks.

I found the female
part very underwritten.

Heck, yeah!

Sure. Fine.
Let's just keep going.

The truth is, they aren't
your average animal attacks.

These have been
the work of a vicious...
Werewolf!

Mr. Park Ranger,
while you were talking,

night has fallen.

The full moon,
my mortal enemy.

I'm starting to change.

Film Destiny.

I'm changing
into a werewolf.

(SCREAMING)
NOAH: Still changing.

NOAH: Stupid buttons.

Almost changed.

I'll fix this in post.

(VELCRO OPENING)

Okay.
I have transformed.

Finally.

(GROWLING)
(YELLING)

Cut.

Why are you in my shot?

We need to talk
to Destiny about
the snow cup cart.

Haven't you guys
given up looking for
that cart, yet?

It's long gone
by now.

Can't this wait?

Are you trying to impede
our investigation?

'Cause it's been a while
since I've declawed a wolf.

You know what,
let's just take five.

I gotta itch
my bum-bum anyhow.

And I need to

forget I ever heard that.

What do you two
want with me?

A little birdie told us
that you were after
the key to the pantry.

Psst, Matteo.

Noah told us that.

Bird's don't talk.

Thanks, Gwen.

We know you wanted
the key to steal
the snow cup cart.

I didn't want to steal
the cart, just the dumb
paper cups.

The whole camp
was littered with them,

and if I got rid of them,
then people would use
real cups and bowls.

That could be reused!

And I didn't even
got the key to the pantry!

A likely story.

As in, me likey.

All right,
you're free to go.

Are you okay?

No.

We've hit a dead end.

All our leads have
dried up.

I stink at this.

Matteo, look.

Tracks! Probably from
the cart!

Aha, the game
is afoot!

No, these are wheel tracks,
not foot tracks.

That being said,
if you want a foot,
I can get you a foot.

Hey!
Halt!

Ow! Again?

I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to.

I wasn't trying
to hit you.
I'm going to the nurse.

Then after that,
you and I are
going to settle this.

5:00 at the story post.
Be there.

(KIDS MURMURING)

I'm doomed.

I can never remember
appointments.

I'm excited to see
these scenes.

Let's watch some of the fight
from the one with me
as the ninja cowboy.

(CHUCKLE) Not a thing.

(GRUNTING IN VIDEO)

This fighting doesn't
look real at all.
(PUNCH)

Except for that punch.

LOU: (IN VIDEO) Noah,
you really hit me.

Oh, that's why.

Maybe the werewolf
scene's better.

DESTINY: Aaah.

Oh, no, you're finally
a viscous werewolf.

(NOAH HOWLING IN VIDEO)

NOAH: Oopsie, my head
came off. Cut.

Yikes. I'll have to fix
that in post.

Uh, Noah?

We are in post.

We are?
Why didn't anyone tell me?

I can't use this for my reel.

It's ridiculous.

It's okay, Noah.
We can try again.

You know,

maybe the reason
I don't have a reel
in this first place is,

I'm just a terrible actor.

I think we're close
to finding the cart.

And our culprit.

I know we're gonna
solve this...

No!

(SOBS)

It's still cold.
Whoever did this,
did it recently.

And they took their time.

Sicko.

I can't believe someone
destroyed it.

(GASPS) Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

Totally.

But you say it first.

We assumed someone
took the cart

because they love
snow cups.

But this was a crime
of passion.

Passion fruit.

What if our suspect
hated the cart?

Lou hated the cart.

And she was mad
that the campers
were filling up on snow cups

and not eating their meals.

And whoever did this,
needed access to the pantry.

Yes. That's all true.

Matteo, look.

Aah! The murder weapon.

That lines up
with my theory.

I think it's time
we had a talk with Lou.

Oh, that was so dramatic
when you took off
your glasses.

I've been practicing.
(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
What's going on, Finn?

(AUSTRALIAN ACCENT) Finn,
who's Finn?

G'day, I'm the new
Grizzly Cabin camper,
Sidney.

Sidney Operahouse.

I guess this means
you had another run-in
with Derek.

It was terrible.

I accidentally hit him
in the face again.

How?

It was all a blur.

No one had a chance
to shate their intinmints.

Do you still think
you're saying words?

Derek wants me
to meet him
at the story post.

I'm gonna
have to fight him.

Uh, no, you are not.

Because fighting
is never the answer.

Take it from someone
who's been in a few fights.

Danger and Danger Junior
have seen a lot of action.

You named your fists
Danger and Danger Junior?

My left hand is slightly
smaller than my right.

Stop staring!

I am going to go
talk to Derek and get
this straightened out.

No. Everyone will think
I'm a tattle tale.

Fine. I won't take to him.

But you can't go face him.

But if I don't,
I'll be looking over
my shoulder

for the rest of the summer.

I can't hide
like this forever.

I have to prove
I can be brave.

Finn, going to the story
post isn't brave,

it's stupid.
Because fighting is stupid.

Promise me you won't
go there to meet Derek.

All right. I Promise.

Also, promise me
you'll wipe off that goatee.

(AUSTRALIAN ACCENT)
Crikey, I thought
I was pulling it off.

Hey, Noah,
how's it going?

Not great.
You saw the videos.

I'm a terrible actor.

Noah, you didn't see
the same things that
we did in those scenes.

You're not a terrible actor.

Just a terrible writer.

And director.
And production designer.

And costume designer...
Okay, okay!

If this is a pep talk,
let's get to the pep.

Noah, I think your dreams
for this reel

were just a little bigger
than your means.

You couldn't even showcase
your acting talents

because everything
was so complicated.

You should try again,

but this time,
keep it simple.

Just your great acting,
a camera,

and definitely something
someone else wrote.

Huh, I guess I could
do that.

I'll just shoot some
monologues that focus
on my acting

and nothing else.
Then I'll add ninjas
in post.

Sure.

If can tell me
what post is.

Fine, no ninjas.

Finn.
Derek.

Ready to settle this?

If that's what
we have to do.

Prepare to meet

Tina and Race Car.

What?
Aha!

You are here!

I don't know
who your counselor is,

because I don't go
to the mixers,

but you are not
going to fight Finn.

Fight? I don't want
to fight Finn.

You don't? But you told me
I better watch out from
now on.

Because you hit me
in the face.

Then I tried to talk
to you later and you hit
me again.

So I asked you to meet me
at the story post

so we could settle our issues.
Using "I statements"
instead of our fists.

So, you never wanted
to fight?

Then why do you always
have your two goons backing
you up?

Goons?

(SOFT CHUCKLE)
You mean Dennis and Milton?

The first time you hit me
we were coming from
our Pacifist Club meeting.

They're staying close
because I was afraid of you

and hoped you'd find
three people
more intimidating.

You were afraid of me?

But you seem so mean.

I get that a lot.
My mom says
I should smile more.

Derek, I'm so sorry
I hit you twice.

They were both accidents.

I feel terrible.

Apology accepted.

May I shake your Race Car?

No. You can
shake my Tina.

MATTEO: Lou.

We found
the snow cup cart.

And I'm sad to say
it's been

smooshed.
(GASPS)

Not smooshed!

And the criminal who did it
is right here in this room.

Wait, you guys don't think
that I smooshed it?

Not you.
Come on out, Chef Jeff!

Answer for your crime!

What's going on?

Isn't true that
you hated
the snow cup cart,

because all the campers
wanted snow cups

more than the food
you worked so hard
to prepare?

"Hated" is a strong word.

Maybe a bit miffed.

Also, isn't it true
that the only person

besides Lou to have
a key to the pantry is you?

Well, yeah, but I keep
my key under the mat
in front of the pantry.

Sorta defeats the purpose
of a locked pantry, huh Jeff?

Mister My Password
Is "Password."

Are you kids accusing
me of taking the cart?

And that's all
the evidence you have?

No. We also have...

The murder weapon.

The weights are kept
in the sports shed.
Anyone can get to them.

That's true.

Guys, I like your theory,
but you don't have
enough solid proof.

Yeah, you got nothing on me.

(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

Let me see
your tongue again.

No.

Stick it out
or I'll go in
and get it.

The cart disappeared
two nights ago.

Why so blue,
Chef Jeff?

Nailed it.

Fine. I did it.

The night you got
the cart, no one touched

the Mound
of Brown I prepared.

You campers turned me
into your Mound
of Brown clown.

The cart had to go.

Down.
Thank you.

I am very disappointed,
Chef Jeff.

Normally, this would
be a fireable offense.

I know you've been
having a tough time lately.

So sorry to hear Margo
turned down
your marriage proposal.

But don't worry,
you'll find love
again soon.

Oh, that gives me an idea.

Here. I want you
to have this instead.

That's a big step,
Step Jeff.

No, I want you to
sell it to pay for
a new cart.

I'm not proposing.

Oh, cool. Cool.

There you are,
Tarnation Tarry.

Did I just say Tarry?
That's crazy. Let's go back.

There you are Tarnation
Tarry.

I did it again. Cut.

(BEEP)
Tar you are,
Tarnation Tarry.

What?
It's in my head now.

(BEEP)

There you are,
Tarnation Terri.

Take five!