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1
00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:03,435
Josh... Can you believe
we're going on a double date?
2
00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:04,470
You like Nick, right?
3
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,638
- Who?
- (LAUGHS)
4
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,374
You mess this up and I'll kill you.
5
00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:14,346
Um, they have had five dates,
very successful sex,
6
00:00:14,382 --> 00:00:16,281
and she really thinks
this could go somewhere,
7
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,684
and it's very, very important
to us that you like him.
8
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:23,255
Yes, because one day, me and Nick
will live next door to you and Gabi,
9
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,523
so... (LAUGHS)
10
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:26,291
What are you, seven?
11
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:30,362
Look, if you like him, I like him.
12
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,663
- I like him.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
13
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,665
(GASPS) Oh! Josh, you get the door,
14
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,734
'cause you know, I don't
live here, you live here.
15
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:38,303
(LAUGHS) I'll just, uh, stand
here and try to look casual.
16
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,443
- Hey, Nick. Good to see you again, man.
- Hey, good to see you, too,
17
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,311
but I am here to see her.
18
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,520
I love you.
19
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,424
Hey, I'm gonna, open this up for ya.
20
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,260
Oh, you are so beautiful.
21
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,228
Oh, damn it.
22
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,664
I broke the cork. Can
you hand me that knife?
23
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:09,468
Dude, you're gonna shove
the cork into the wine?
24
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,236
Trust me, it's the only way.
25
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,471
Do you mind?
26
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,606
No, go for it. Not gonna work.
27
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,243
What you wanna do is take
the corkscrew... (BLOWS)
28
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:20,579
...go at it from an angle.
29
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,548
You wanna just...
30
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,350
gently engage the cork
as much as you can.
31
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,288
- And... boom.
- (CORK POPS)
32
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:31,390
And that is exactly
why we have successful sex.
33
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:35,427
Hmm. Wow, Nick! That is genius!
34
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,729
(LAUGHS) Genius is a little
bit of an overstatement.
35
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,566
I mean, we're talkin'
about a cork, people.
36
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,469
It's a trick I learned because
my grandfather owns a winery.
37
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,470
Oh, sweet. I own my own one.
38
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:45,737
- Okay!
- (CLINKS GLASSES)
39
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,306
Why don't we pour some?
40
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:49,408
Uh, actually, with all the
angling of the corkscrew
41
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,576
and whatnot, we don't have time,
42
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,344
'cause we'll miss our reservation.
43
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,645
Uh, do you guys care
if we take my Ferrari?
44
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,481
Sorry, the back seat's a little small.
45
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:56,748
Even better for us.
46
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,255
I love you.
47
00:02:03,293 --> 00:02:09,113
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:02:09,124 --> 00:02:10,620
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
49
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,664
♪ She in the spotlight ♪
50
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,466
♪ And she turn my head ♪
51
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,468
♪ She run a red light ♪
52
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,437
♪ 'Cause she bad like that ♪
53
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,440
♪ I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby ♪
54
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,477
♪ Baby, I like that
ooh, baby, ooh, baby ♪
55
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:29,248
I can't believe we've been here an
hour and no guy has approached me.
56
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,550
Yolanda, it's still early.
57
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,718
People aren't drunk enough, yet.
58
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,421
Maybe it's us.
I bet we're scaring guys off
59
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,423
'cause they think we're straight.
60
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,463
Excuse me. Are you HotChocolate335?
61
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:45,276
Oh, I'm sorry...
62
00:02:45,287 --> 00:02:47,476
From HeyCupid. I'm OpenHeartedSurgeon9.
63
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,470
- Oh, I think you've got...
- A medical degree!
64
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,339
- Uh, but I'm not...
- Shut up, HotChocolate.
65
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,474
He's fine.
66
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,443
You're right. And hopefully,
67
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:01,480
that nine means what I think it means.
68
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,582
Hey!
69
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,487
Hey, Nick, why don't you get us a table,
70
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,588
and I'll get us some drinks.
71
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,490
You got dinner. I can get the drinks.
72
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,558
Okay. I'll get us a table.
73
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,226
I know the owner,
74
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:16,228
so I can probably swing a booth.
75
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,496
You don't know the owner of this bar.
76
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,298
- I know of the owner.
- Oh.
77
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,333
Okay, Josh, this has to stop.
78
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,235
You've been trying to compete
with Nick all night.
79
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,504
- Oh, he started it.
- I don't care who started it.
80
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,472
All right? I need you
to be the bigger man.
81
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:28,473
Shouldn't be too hard.
82
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:31,243
I got like half a foot on that guy.
83
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,478
Okay, so I ordered wine for
the ladies, bourbon for me,
84
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,280
and, Josh, I took a shot in the dark
85
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,582
and went with an appletini.
86
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:39,618
- Oh, teeny, like your...
- Bigger man, bigger man.
87
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,356
So...
88
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,527
Oh, they've got darts.
89
00:03:48,612 --> 00:03:50,580
Darts!
90
00:03:50,705 --> 00:03:51,697
Darts! Darts are fun.
91
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,566
- Isn't this great?
- Mm.
92
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,535
I mean, Sofia and I
have always fantasized
93
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,403
about having boyfriends
at the same time,
94
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:02,341
and now that it's happening,
it's just so, hmm, nice.
95
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,644
Isn't this nice?
96
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,308
Cheers to us!
97
00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:09,224
Oh, uh, we don't have
drinks to cheers with.
98
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:10,251
Probably would if we ordered from the
99
00:04:10,262 --> 00:04:11,560
waitress instead of the
bartender, though.
100
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,386
- Nope, the bar's always faster.
- Is it?
101
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,588
'Cause, uh, what's missin'?
Ooh, I'll give you a hint.
102
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,360
Actually, I think you drink
an appletini like this.
103
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:24,596
Okay, drinks. How about,
uh, we go get the drinks.
104
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,431
Sofia, you wanna go get the drinks?
105
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:28,333
Gabi and I are gonna get the drinks.
106
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:32,271
(SIGHS) Oh my God, this is a nightmare.
107
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,639
Gabi, our boyfriends hate each other.
108
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,240
Yeah, I know. I don't get it.
109
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,575
I mean, they have so much in common.
110
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,410
They're both smart
and successful and cute.
111
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,412
On paper, it seemed like
they'd get along great.
112
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,022
What happened between the paper and now?
113
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,393
So much!
114
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,518
But I think it all started
with that corkscrew thing.
115
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,420
Oh, I know. I mean,
what was Josh's problem?
116
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,290
Nick was just tryin' to help him,
and then he just got all weird.
117
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:57,329
If by "help him" you mean that
show-offy, smug presentation
118
00:04:57,364 --> 00:05:00,265
where he lectured Josh
on how to remove half a cork?
119
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,267
You wanna talk about show-offy?
120
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,569
You think it was really
necessary for Josh to order
121
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:07,239
a bottle of wine from his
own vineyard at dinner?
122
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,241
Huh. Well, it's not Josh's fault
123
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:12,244
his wine is on the menu
of every fine restaurant
124
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,546
in San Francisco,
unlike Nick's grandpa's wine,
125
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,548
which I didn't see listed anywhere.
126
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:18,383
Too bad we didn't go
to the airport strip club,
127
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:21,386
where they probably
have it on the bar gun.
128
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:23,522
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
129
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,360
Oh, thank God. Drinks are here.
130
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:39,338
So, I was just about
to ask Josh how you guys met.
131
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:43,642
Ah! Well, Josh needed a chef, we
got together and now we're here.
132
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:49,448
- If only it was that short.
- You're short.
133
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,384
No, no, no.
134
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:55,520
It was actually, uh,
a lot more romantic than that.
135
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:58,490
Gabi and I had instant chemistry
from the moment we met.
136
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,659
Unfortunately, we weren't ready
to be together right away.
137
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,494
So, over the course
of the next three years,
138
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,629
we'd get nice and close,
then we'd get ripped apart.
139
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,044
Then we'd get close again, and we'd get
140
00:06:06,055 --> 00:06:07,609
ripped apart again, until one day,
141
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:11,470
fate tapped us on the shoulder and
said, "Josh, Gabi, the time is now."
142
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,271
Remember what we said?
Shall we say it together?
143
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:16,208
- I love you.
- (CLEARS THROAT) I'm ready to go.
144
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,310
Oh, you know, that's so
different from me and Sofia.
145
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:19,758
I mean, when I first met her, there was
146
00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:22,457
no getting close or ripped apart stuff,
147
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,217
I mean, I didn't need
three years to think about it.
148
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,452
Hm. You know, good things
come to those who wait.
149
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,945
I don't like waiting. I knew the moment
150
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,599
I saw her, we were gonna be together.
151
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,591
Gabi and I had sex on the first night.
152
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:37,262
Sofia, will you move in with me?
153
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,465
- What?
- What?
154
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:43,368
See? I told you this guy will do
anything to one-up Josh.
155
00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:48,407
Nick, I would love to move in with you.
156
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,342
(GIGGLES)
157
00:06:59,226 --> 00:07:02,227
Okay, Sofia would never move in
with a guy after five dates.
158
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:06,024
I mean, she's too rational and
level-headed and boring for that.
159
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,026
Well, let me tell you somethin'.
160
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,327
She's never gonna move in with him.
161
00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:11,062
Damn right she's not!
162
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,331
Why is she not?
163
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:18,103
Because they're bluffing, and
we're gonna call their bluff.
164
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,437
Hell yeah, we are!
165
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,440
How are we gonna do that?
166
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:25,343
By offering to help them move
in together, this weekend.
167
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:28,380
Pfft! Are you crazy?
I hate helping people move.
168
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,480
We're never gonna have to. The minute
169
00:07:31,491 --> 00:07:33,061
we suggest that they move in together
170
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,086
that quickly, they're both
gonna back out.
171
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,222
Now, are we done talkin' about this?
172
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,157
- Yes.
- Good.
173
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,159
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Yes.
174
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,395
I often enjoy a good appletini.
175
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:54,105
Good morning, HotChocolate!
176
00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:57,075
How'd it go with the doctor?
177
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,477
Ha ha. Well, he made
a follow-up appointment.
178
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,651
I've heard of Doctors Without Borders,
179
00:08:01,662 --> 00:08:04,192
but never Doctors Without Standards.
180
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:09,220
What he means is, yay you, Yolanda.
181
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,089
- Yay.
- Yay, nothin'.
182
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,091
Last night we talked about him.
183
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,493
Next time, we're gonna
have to talk about her.
184
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:19,030
I mean me. HotChocolate.
185
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,507
I just looked at HeyCupid, and it turns
186
00:08:20,518 --> 00:08:22,143
out this bitch, HotChocolate, has got
187
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:26,104
a double degree in Greek
philosophy and Old English poetry!
188
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,240
Oh, no worries, Yo-Yo.
Elliot majored in literature.
189
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,509
And I haven't worked in a
couple years, so I've had time
190
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:35,246
to read ten philosophy books.
We can teach you!
191
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:38,149
How the hell am I supposed to learn
all that crap before my next date?
192
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,353
I know! How about we pull a Cyrano?
193
00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:44,089
I don't do that on my first date!
194
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,126
Wait. What's that?
195
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,161
It's where we tell you what to say.
196
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,366
(GROANS) If I wanted to
help an old woman get
197
00:08:52,377 --> 00:08:54,309
into bed, I would've majored in nursing.
198
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,475
What the hell is this?
199
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:07,479
Oh! Sorry! Uh, hi! (LAUGHS)
200
00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,347
We were just about
to have moving day sex.
201
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,348
You'll know one day.
202
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,151
(QUIETLY) Okay, you said
they were bluffing.
203
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,219
This doesn't look like bluffing.
204
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,487
Don't worry, it'll happen
any minute, trust me.
205
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,422
Why don't you grab a box
and bring it down to the curb?
206
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:21,326
All right, Nick. We'll "grab a box
and bring it down to the curb."
207
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,498
- Uh, wait.
- Here we go.
208
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,501
Is there, uh... Is there somethin'
you wanna tell us, Sofia?
209
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:32,137
Yeah, there is. I'm kind of
just realizing it now.
210
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,105
Hey, Nick, could you
come out here for a second?
211
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:38,042
Well, I just wanna say, you know,
obviously last night, you know,
212
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,444
didn't really go as
planned, and for you guys
213
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,347
to come over here and help
us move, and, I don't know,
214
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:45,183
start this new phase in our lives,
it really means a lot to me.
215
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,484
And?
216
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,089
And, um...
217
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,158
I took the waffle iron.
218
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:58,229
(SCOFFS) I can't believe this.
219
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,165
When it's right, it's right.
220
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:05,437
Oh, I'm really gonna miss this place.
221
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:08,373
- And Gabi?
- Yeah?
222
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:11,176
If you need me to pay
rent next month, I will.
223
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,513
That would be good.
224
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,417
Okay!
225
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,187
Ooh! Well, bye!
226
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,331
Wow, were we wrong!
227
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,535
I can't believe this, Josh.
This is really happening.
228
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,471
I mean, they met each other,
they love each other,
229
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,473
and now they're moving in together!
230
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,107
I don't get it. It doesn't make sense.
231
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,309
They went on five dates.
232
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,245
Well, maybe that's all he really needed.
233
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,737
Maybe he's the kind of guy that knows
234
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,558
what he wants and when he wants it.
235
00:10:50,584 --> 00:10:54,152
Maybe he doesn't need
three years to figure it out!
236
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,288
Wait. What's happening?
237
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,494
I just... I think it's a little
odd that we've been together
238
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,530
for so long and we haven't even
discussed moving in together.
239
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:09,067
Okay, it's odd. Therefore,
it needs to be discussed.
240
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,469
So... discuss.
241
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:20,078
Okay, uh... Well, I have plenty of room.
You're already working there.
242
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,312
You can't afford to live on your own...
243
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:24,148
Okay, this is so not romantic.
244
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,151
Starting over.
245
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:32,223
Gabi, you're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
246
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:36,127
And I've never felt
like this about anyone.
247
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,297
Getting better.
248
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,166
And although, I might not be the
guy who knows what he wants
249
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,536
after five dates, I do know one thing.
250
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,205
I love you.
251
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,242
Getting a lot better.
252
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,545
And you would make me
the luckiest man in the world
253
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,346
if you'd move in with me.
254
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,549
Really? You mean it?
255
00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,417
I've never meant
anything more in my life.
256
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,419
- Ooh!
- Come on, move with me.
257
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,521
Yeah? Okay! Okay! Ah!
258
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,423
- Ah!
- I'm moving in with my boyfriend!
259
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,325
I'm moving in with my boyfriend!
260
00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:14,832
Yolanda, can you hear me?
261
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:18,955
Yes. This is Lil' Kim
talkin' to Lil' Kimchi. Over.
262
00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:23,326
Oh my damn. He's here. (GIGGLES)
263
00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:26,879
Wow. You look stunning.
264
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:29,882
Ooh, nice tushie.
265
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:33,785
Ooh, nice tush... shee you again.
266
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:37,923
Um, I'll have a marti...
Uh, wait a minute.
267
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,759
Is it okay if I order a drink?
I know you're ten years sober.
268
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,629
Who the hell told you that?
269
00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:45,764
Well, I read it on your profile,
under "accomplishments."
270
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:48,834
Oh... that's right.
271
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,503
(MUTTERS) I hate that bitch.
272
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,705
So one martini and one...?
273
00:12:53,741 --> 00:12:57,509
Uh... Hmm... Uh...
274
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:00,812
Oh God. She doesn't know
any non-alcoholic drinks.
275
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,547
Iced tea, Yolanda.
276
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:03,849
Iced tea.
277
00:13:05,753 --> 00:13:08,887
So, you studied philosophy.
What do you think of Plato?
278
00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:13,458
Well, it comes in lots of
colors, and I love the smell!
279
00:13:13,494 --> 00:13:16,662
No, no, no, no, no.
Plato's a philosopher.
280
00:13:16,697 --> 00:13:18,897
Tell him you love Plato
because Allegory of the Cave
281
00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:21,500
makes you challenge
your perception of the world.
282
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:22,519
(LAUGHS)
283
00:13:22,530 --> 00:13:25,480
Allegory of the Cave makes you challenge
284
00:13:25,506 --> 00:13:27,739
your perception of the world.
285
00:13:27,775 --> 00:13:29,675
Wow, that's amazing.
286
00:13:29,710 --> 00:13:31,510
(LAUGHS) I know!
287
00:13:31,545 --> 00:13:33,712
The reception in here is fantastic.
288
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:35,914
So I'm guessing studying
Old English poetry seemed
289
00:13:35,950 --> 00:13:37,849
modern compared to Plato.
290
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:40,519
Do you have a favorite poem?
291
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:43,655
Well, there are so many.
292
00:13:43,691 --> 00:13:46,658
I couldn't possibly have a favorite one.
293
00:13:46,694 --> 00:13:47,859
Could I?
294
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:51,897
"Someone came knocking
at my wee, small door..."
295
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:56,535
"Someone came knocking
at my wee, small door..."
296
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:57,803
- "Someone"...
- (PHONE VIBRATING)
297
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,871
Oh God, it's my mother.
I have to answer.
298
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,709
- "Someone..."
- Mm-hmm.
299
00:14:03,744 --> 00:14:05,744
"Someone!"
300
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,779
Please, keep goin'.
301
00:14:07,815 --> 00:14:11,450
"Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah...
302
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:15,587
"someone's in the kitchen, I know.
303
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:21,593
"Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah,
304
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:24,629
strummin' on the old banjo."
305
00:14:24,665 --> 00:14:26,598
(LAUGHS)
306
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,900
- (YOLANDA LAUGHS)
- You are too funny!
307
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:31,870
I'm gonna have to watch out for you.
308
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,806
Ooh! Ice-cold martini.
309
00:14:34,842 --> 00:14:38,643
- Dog! That looks good!
- Uh! Do you know what?
310
00:14:40,748 --> 00:14:45,450
Here's a funny game
I always love to play.
311
00:14:45,486 --> 00:14:46,518
What's the color of my eyes?
312
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,720
Ooh. Beautiful brown.
313
00:14:48,756 --> 00:14:51,757
Oh... Now I'll do yours.
314
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,793
Cover your eyes.
315
00:14:54,828 --> 00:14:56,461
Yes, ma'am. (LAUGHS)
316
00:14:56,497 --> 00:14:59,664
Okay, hmm, um, your eyes are...
317
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,468
I'm thinking.
318
00:15:04,872 --> 00:15:06,738
Uh... brown.
319
00:15:06,774 --> 00:15:08,440
Hey.
320
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:11,877
Hey, Sofia!
321
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,413
Gabi, what's wrong? I got,
like, three 9-1-1s from you.
322
00:15:14,448 --> 00:15:15,614
Why would you assume something's wrong?
323
00:15:15,649 --> 00:15:17,616
Well, usually with you,
it's a pretty good guess.
324
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:20,819
Ha! Funny! Everything today is so funny.
325
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:22,687
And beautiful. And perfect.
326
00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:24,689
What's going on?
327
00:15:24,725 --> 00:15:28,593
Okay. Do you remember our dream?
328
00:15:28,629 --> 00:15:30,762
Dual weddings, dual vacations,
329
00:15:30,798 --> 00:15:33,698
kids at the same time, moving in with
our boyfriends at the same time?
330
00:15:34,835 --> 00:15:37,536
- What?
- Josh asked me to move in with him
331
00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:39,604
and I said yes! (SCREAMS)
332
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,741
Where's your... (SCREAMS)?
333
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,844
- Wow.
- Wow is very nice, but I was really hoping
334
00:15:45,879 --> 00:15:47,813
for a... (SCREAMS).
335
00:15:47,848 --> 00:15:51,483
- Talk about one-upsmanship.
- I know, ri... What?
336
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,718
Josh couldn't stand the fact
that Nick one-upped him,
337
00:15:53,754 --> 00:15:55,186
so he asked you to move in, and you were
338
00:15:55,197 --> 00:15:56,698
so jealous that I was asked to move in,
339
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:59,591
that you said yes. In fact, I wouldn't
be surprised if you were the one
340
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,626
who asked Josh if you could move in.
341
00:16:01,662 --> 00:16:03,662
Okay, what the hell is happening?
342
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:06,798
What's happening here is that you
can't let me have five minutes of joy
343
00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:09,868
without having to top me.
God, Gabi, you're so obnoxious!
344
00:16:09,903 --> 00:16:11,538
Okay, I don't understand how my best
345
00:16:11,549 --> 00:16:13,682
friend isn't happy for me right now.
346
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,573
Oh, like you were me? Um, I believe your
347
00:16:15,584 --> 00:16:17,586
exact words were, "I told you this guy
348
00:16:17,611 --> 00:16:19,478
would do anything to one-up Josh."
349
00:16:19,513 --> 00:16:21,746
Because he would. I mean, God, Sofia,
350
00:16:21,782 --> 00:16:23,156
you've been on five dates with this guy.
351
00:16:23,210 --> 00:16:25,510
Gabi, you were just over to help
me pack. What the hell was that?
352
00:16:25,546 --> 00:16:27,479
I was calling your bluff!
353
00:16:27,514 --> 00:16:29,381
(YELLS ANGRILY)
354
00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:31,316
Oh my God. What is wrong with you?
355
00:16:31,352 --> 00:16:33,452
Man, you have changed
since you moved out,
356
00:16:33,487 --> 00:16:35,454
yesterday?
357
00:16:35,489 --> 00:16:37,322
No, you're the one who's changed.
358
00:16:37,358 --> 00:16:38,567
Me?
359
00:16:38,578 --> 00:16:42,204
Yes! Yes you, because,
huh, you were so happy
360
00:16:42,229 --> 00:16:43,462
with the way that things
were going with Josh,
361
00:16:43,497 --> 00:16:45,464
and then all of a sudden,
you wanna move in with him?
362
00:16:45,499 --> 00:16:46,976
What, just because you move in with your
363
00:16:46,987 --> 00:16:48,644
boyfriend, I can't move
in with my boyfriend?
364
00:16:48,669 --> 00:16:52,537
Oh, admit it. You said yes
because you're a petty,
365
00:16:52,573 --> 00:16:55,540
selfish, little girl! (GASPS)
366
00:16:57,311 --> 00:16:59,444
- Oh my God!
- What?
367
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:00,545
The dart is in...
368
00:17:00,581 --> 00:17:02,514
The dart? The dart's in where?
369
00:17:04,218 --> 00:17:06,318
The dart's in your head.
370
00:17:11,592 --> 00:17:12,624
(GASPS)
371
00:17:15,362 --> 00:17:16,361
(THUDS)
372
00:17:16,397 --> 00:17:17,596
(LAUGHING)
373
00:17:19,466 --> 00:17:22,334
Is there a doctor here?
We need a doctor back here.
374
00:17:22,369 --> 00:17:24,236
Oh, he can help, he's a doctor.
375
00:17:24,271 --> 00:17:24,863
Uh...
376
00:17:24,874 --> 00:17:26,648
Please. Some girl just took
a dart straight to the head.
377
00:17:26,674 --> 00:17:29,474
Ew! Is there blood?
378
00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:33,211
- Oh my God!
- What kind of doctor are you?
379
00:17:33,247 --> 00:17:35,347
A fake one. I lied, I'm sorry.
380
00:17:43,691 --> 00:17:45,190
Are you sure you're okay?
381
00:17:45,225 --> 00:17:49,294
Yeah. I will be. After another bite.
382
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:55,233
God, Gabi, how did we go
from three days ago
383
00:17:55,269 --> 00:17:56,468
all of our dreams coming true to...
384
00:17:56,503 --> 00:17:58,470
A nightmare of you
tryin' to kill me with a dart?
385
00:18:00,207 --> 00:18:03,342
- What happened to us?
- I don't know. You got a boyfriend,
386
00:18:03,377 --> 00:18:05,243
and we both went crazy.
387
00:18:05,279 --> 00:18:07,245
We did. (CHUCKLES)
388
00:18:07,281 --> 00:18:08,797
Sofia, I'm really sorry that I said that
389
00:18:08,808 --> 00:18:10,359
Nick only wanted to move in with you
390
00:18:10,384 --> 00:18:12,250
because he was competing with Josh.
391
00:18:12,286 --> 00:18:15,420
I should've said that, I mean, of
course he wants to live with you.
392
00:18:15,456 --> 00:18:17,422
Everybody wants to live with you!
I've lived with you,
393
00:18:17,458 --> 00:18:19,424
it's the best.
394
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:22,294
Living with you is the best, too.
395
00:18:22,329 --> 00:18:24,162
Can I tell you something?
396
00:18:24,198 --> 00:18:26,398
You were right. I think I only
said yes to moving in with Josh
397
00:18:26,433 --> 00:18:27,599
because I was trying to one-up you.
398
00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:30,268
My God, and I only said yes
to Nick because I was so mad
399
00:18:30,304 --> 00:18:32,404
that you didn't really believe
he was asking me...
400
00:18:32,439 --> 00:18:35,273
- Gabi, are you okay?
- Sofia, don't admit to anything.
401
00:18:35,309 --> 00:18:37,509
I have your best
legal interest at heart.
402
00:18:37,544 --> 00:18:39,344
Uh, Nick, can I talk to you
for a second?
403
00:18:41,281 --> 00:18:43,482
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
404
00:18:43,517 --> 00:18:45,550
Okay, well, let's get your
stuff and go back to my place.
405
00:18:45,586 --> 00:18:48,286
Nay, our place.
406
00:18:49,556 --> 00:18:54,493
Josh, um, I love you
a whole bunch, and I really hope
407
00:18:54,528 --> 00:18:57,429
that one day we might live
together, but, right now,
408
00:18:57,464 --> 00:19:00,232
like right, right now,
I don't know if I'm ready.
409
00:19:01,368 --> 00:19:06,338
Oh, thank God. What I mean, is...
410
00:19:06,373 --> 00:19:09,441
one day you might kind of
wanna be ready, though, right?
411
00:19:09,476 --> 00:19:11,376
Totally might kind of wanna be ready.
412
00:19:13,447 --> 00:19:15,480
So, uh, we have some news.
413
00:19:15,516 --> 00:19:17,449
Oh, uh, yeah, we have some news, too.
414
00:19:17,484 --> 00:19:20,385
Um, I'm not moving in with Nick.
415
00:19:20,421 --> 00:19:22,521
What? I'm not moving in with Josh.
416
00:19:22,556 --> 00:19:25,490
- What?
- BOTH: Yay!
417
00:19:25,526 --> 00:19:27,259
BOTH: I'm sorry.
418
00:19:27,294 --> 00:19:28,627
It's all right, I may have
rushed things a little bit,
419
00:19:28,662 --> 00:19:31,463
but, u...
420
00:19:31,498 --> 00:19:33,298
about anyone before.
421
00:19:33,333 --> 00:19:37,269
Which also might be kind of
why I acted like an ass.
422
00:19:37,304 --> 00:19:39,438
- Sorry, dude.
- Yeah, and I'm sorry, too,
423
00:19:39,473 --> 00:19:41,206
that you acted like an ass.
424
00:19:43,677 --> 00:19:46,211
Okay. Well, now that
everything is back to normal,
425
00:19:46,246 --> 00:19:48,513
how about we celebrate,
open a bottle of wine?
426
00:19:48,549 --> 00:19:50,182
- I got it.
- I got it.
427
00:19:50,217 --> 00:19:52,317
How about some beer?
428
00:19:55,931 --> 00:20:00,333
Maybe it's the head wound, but Nick's
grandpa's wine is not that bad.
429
00:20:02,004 --> 00:20:03,303
It's the head wound.
430
00:20:04,373 --> 00:20:06,273
- (WHISTLING)
- Open heart surgeon?
431
00:20:07,309 --> 00:20:09,176
Oh, uh... HotChocolate.
432
00:20:10,913 --> 00:20:12,212
I thought you were sober.
433
00:20:12,247 --> 00:20:15,282
It's Yolanda, and I thought
you were a surgeon.
434
00:20:16,985 --> 00:20:18,151
What are you doin' here?
435
00:20:18,187 --> 00:20:20,253
Actually, I own a moving company.
436
00:20:20,289 --> 00:20:23,957
- Oh, really?
- No.
437
00:20:23,992 --> 00:20:25,192
But I drive the truck.
438
00:20:25,227 --> 00:20:28,028
- You do?
- No.
439
00:20:28,063 --> 00:20:29,963
They make me sit in the middle.
440
00:20:32,201 --> 00:20:34,301
Look, I'm... I'm sorry
about the other night.
441
00:20:34,336 --> 00:20:36,136
I... I just didn't want my smart,
442
00:20:36,171 --> 00:20:37,237
beautiful and funny date
443
00:20:37,272 --> 00:20:39,272
to find out that I'm only a mover.
444
00:20:39,308 --> 00:20:42,242
Oh. So what I'm hearin' is,
445
00:20:42,277 --> 00:20:44,244
you're experienced in packin'
446
00:20:44,279 --> 00:20:46,213
big brown boxes.
447
00:20:46,247 --> 00:20:51,317
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