All language subtitles for What.If.it.Works.2017.BDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO

Subtitles by explosiveskull

Ooh.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh, no!

Scarlet, you got
any of that black lippy?

- Hello?
- Well, do ya?

Well, I've seen better heads
on a mug of beer!

Ooh! This bitch is gonna
die on you any minute.

Got a spare?

Yes. In the boot.

We've got all night. Do you?

18 hours and 22 minutes,
to be exact.

Until I lose my freedom. OK.

Is he OK?

I hope he doesn't
want to kill us.

I can't deal with that again.

Whoop!

Do any of you, uh,
know how to change a flat?

I-I could give you
instructions.

Really thorough instructions.

Something wrong with your
hands and knees, Andretti?

Yes, they're clean.

- Oh.
- And it's Adrian.

Well, I'm Venus, and this is
Magnolia and Celeste.

They're our dancer names. Whoo!

You want us on
our hands and knees?

What she means is,

we can change it,
but what's in it for us?

Uh...

Drinks!

I-I promise,
I-I will bring drinks

every time I come back here -
forever!

Give him
a hand, Cerise.

Losing your freedom, eh?

Getting married?

What I'm about to do now
is unthinkable,

but nothing at all will happen
because of it, OK?

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Dr Mills,
do we have to do this?

I really, really don't want to.

This is a very
important step, OK?

Adrian, perhaps you can follow,

but you will have to
remove your gloves.

Simone. As quick as you like.

There is a shower and a sink
if you need it.

Well done.

Er, p-please don't touch my car
with your shoes!

I didn't mean
to run into your car!

Are... are you alright?!

Ooh!

Oh! Uh... over here!

On its side.

All... all of them,
on their side.

Excellent.

Thank you.

Mmm!

You can take the car
if you want.

Mate, you're going to need
a tow truck for that.

Why don't you just roll it
into your garage?

- I'll give you a hand.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Uh, I don't have a remote
for the garage.

One, two, three...

Tuesday, 1:33pm.

Adrian. Stan.

I know you're disappointed
by the suspension.

I was hoping three months might
be enough to get back on track.

Premium Motors need you as much
as you need us, believe me.

Call me, or maybe
respond to an email.

Tuesday, 1:33pm.

Adrian,
just your father.

Wondering how the new therapist
is going. Call us?

Adrian, Stan. Again.
Remember me, your boss?

Are you alive? Any progress?

Any plans to call me back?

Have you spoken to
your parents since you moved?

No, no, no,
I'm letting them get over

the money they wasted on
that radical treatment centre.

They paid for two months, and
I was only there for two hours.

But I did email them twice.

Two hours?
Why did you agree to go at all?

Forced mental health leave

really brought out
my sense of adventure?

I mean, ever since Melinda,

my only successful relationship
has been my research position.

Until Premium Motors
suspended me because,

well, evidently, not turning up
and missing deadlines,

it loses its mystery
after a while.

I was given three months
to improve

or lose my position
permanently.

I agreed to this therapy as
a condition of my suspension.

You've mentioned Melinda
several times.

Was the end of
that relationship

a significant turning point
for you?

For your
obsessive-compulsive disorder?

Why did it end?

Well... mmm...

..there was an incident,
and I'm not proud of it.

Let's talk about that.

Well, we'd have to rewind
three years, now, wouldn't we?

Mmm.

OK, well... Melinda and I
are taking a walk,

and then I see
this huge slobbering dog.

Oh, my God!

So I take cover behind her,

pushing her accidentally
into the bike lane.

Then suddenly she gets hit
by an ice-cream bike vendor.

And then I just run away.

Oh, God!

And then Melinda says something
I'll never forget.

If this house was on fire
and I was trapped

and you were in the bathroom,
in one of your rituals...

..would you be able to break
out and save your life?

Save my life?

And that was it.

And Melinda wouldn't answer
my calls, and...

..yeah, and then my OCD,
it skyrocketed

and I can't... can't leave
my house very often.

I can't finish my work on time.

And, well, here I am

with two months left
to babysit my panic.

Was Melinda the last person

with whom you engaged
in any physical affection?

Yes.

How does that make you feel?

Fine.

I am so sorry.

This was put through as urgent?

I shouldn't be interrupted
unless it's a patient matter.

Adrian, I am terribly sorry,

but I have an urgent...

Family matters.

I'll be right back.

I know you're probably
surprised to see me here.

Yep. First time.

I'm kept locked up
because I'm too sexual.

That makes everybody
uncomfortable.

But I need to get a few things
off my chest.

I've tried them all.

Straight-laced cocky bankers,
married cheaters,

young horny kids who think
they're old enough,

oldies on Viagra who think
they're young enough,

party maniacs,

empty shells who
just want to please you,

aloof, disconnected arseholes

who just wanna pound you
until they pass out,

needy drainers
who touch you too much,

and secretive egomaniacs
who can never touch you enough,

but...

..Sledgehammer
has taken the cake.

Er,
S-Sledgehammer's a person?

Supposedly. He says he loves
me, but doesn't even know me.

Love is a spontaneous
fucking reaction

and he just wants
to possess me.

Let's make one thing clear.

I don't do love.

We don't 'make love'.
We sleep together.

But as soon as I'm not
turned on anymore,

like after an orgasm,

I don't want to lie
underneath him, or anyone.

I don't want to feel his weight
or his sweat or his breath.

It's boring.

It's worse than boring.
It is empty and gross.

It's a reoccurring thing
for me.

Have you ever felt
anything like that?

Yes. Sweat and breath,
it can be awful.

Yeah, too right.

But you can't suppress your
natural urges, now, can you?

Ooh! Don't look so perturbed.

It's only natural.

There is nothing like a bit of
spontaneous action in life.

And that's me.

I am all about... action.

You don't know much about
spontaneity, do you?

Yes, it promotes freedom.

It allows you to turn off
your analytical mind

so creativity
can shine through.

Hm. Pretty smart for a shrink.

But why are you
just standing there?

You would be so cute
if you weren't so rigid.

Is it some kind of technique?

Because actually,
it just looks fucking nuts.

No, it is nuts. But I'm not...

Oh, whatever.
Stand there if you want to.

We need to talk about Sledge.

We do?

OK. Here's the situation.

After we screw in the cubicle,
Sledge gets clingy, as usual.

Hey, let's paint together?

Then he delivers the big news
for our collective.

He's Skyped with the top online

international street art
gallery in London.

So, I just got this email
from Street Art Universe.

- Mmm?
- Street Art fucking U!

Inviting Cognitus to do
the collective exhibition.

G, you know
what this fuckin' means?

We've been waiting for this
for ages.

Hey, you should do
the centrepiece, yeah?

G, I want you to do
the fuckin' centrepiece.

Get the dog out of here.

And then he starts on at me
about the dog.

I just feel sorry for Ganja,
you know?

Like, playing hard to get's
pretty fucking cruel

when you extend it to dogs.

Grace likes dogs, I don't.

Like, look at his face.

That face is saying,
"Don't be a bitch to me."

Finally, he tries blackmail on
for size.

You know,
as a starting out artist,

you know what this is gonna
do for you, right?

Like, the fuckin' centrepiece
of my exhibition of my life

and I don't even get a piece,

like, the tiniest fuckin'
morsel of what's in your life.

Like, if we're gonna do this,
G, let's fuckin' do it, OK?

Do you want this fuckin'
centrepiece or not?!

OK. Now you're just
freaking me out.

I switched.

And now I'm here because

Grace doesn't want to know
the details,

but she should.

OK, so, who's Grace?

Aren't you the expert on
multiple personality disorder?

Look... Dr Di Scala, is it?

Yes.

Grace?

Who are you?

I'm your therapist.
Karen Di Scala.

Have you seen me before?

Is my voice familiar?

I've only ever heard
your last name.

Evidently.

So, who's that?

I'm a patient.

Oops.

OK, I... I should
get going, Karen. Um...

Thank you, Adrian.

- That's OK.
- Yes. Thank you, Adrian.

Oh, no... no, no,
thank you, Grace.

And Karen.

- Oh! You, uh...
- Oh.

- You dropped something.
- Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Did we cross paths earlier
at the practice and...

Yes, yes. I-I'm also the guy
that nearly ran you over.

Adrian.

Grace.

- Do you live in Angus Street?
- Yeah, why?

Oh, no, no, I moved in there
a few weeks ago.

I've seen you
with the, uh... dogs.

Yeah.

Art.
It doesn't pay often enough.

You're not collecting dogs now,
are you?

Oh, great. Excellent.

Well, I guess we're going in
the same direction. Shall we?

Didn't you leave Karen's
over an hour ago?

Yeah, yeah.
I guess I was still walking.

I... I'm not driving anymore.
You don't drive, do you, Grace?

No. Maybe one day.

Oh, I love driving fast.

It's just, well...
I ruined my car cleaning it.

I thought cleaning a car
was a good thing.

Um, well,
my cleaning and your cleaning

are probably different.

Though, I-I love walking.
It's great.

Sometimes I just walk
around and around my block.

Your block.

Our block, I suppose.

Ooh, this is mine! I live in
my dad's garage space.

Cool.

- Your dad works in there?
- Oh, no, not anymore.

He used to store
race cars there,

but, well, they moved
to Queensland

to cure his
rheumatoid arthritis

and my mother's bad temper.

You live in that one, right?

Well... well, I suppose
this is where one neighbour...

I'm sorry I can't
invite you in.

Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no,
don't be.

I don't have visitors ever.
Ever!

It's like a policy of mine.

Please don't
take it personally.

No, no. No. No, it's fine.
Me neither.

I never have guys over.

Excellent! Sh-shall we?

Uh...

OK.

Dammit!

Oh, dammit!

Yarggh!

Oh, shit! Damn!

Grace!

Grace?

So, I'm thinking
Time Line, yeah?

For the title and theme of
the exhibition? Time Line?

- What, like Facebook?
- Not like Facebook, man.

Fuck Facebook. Like, come on.
It's a big moment for us, yeah?

We should sum that up.

We should sum everything up,
like...

..like life, birth, death.

Sex. Innocence.
Deceit, trust. You know?

Let's put every artwork
in a bottle.

The solitude of the artist,
or sexual repression.

Yeah, alright, Frida Kahlo.

Can we just hold on the false
gender dichotomy shit?

My intergalactic neon tigers
need to fit in here.

That's right.

Oh, Rajib! Fuck, man!
Come on!

Khordadian Dance 2
is going to be the basis

of my first interactive
video art installation.

Yes, yes, yes!

Installation video is the most
common form of video art today!

- We know!
- We got it.

Good.

OK.

Can I get you something, Doc?

Yeah. Uh, I wanna buy
some Coke.

Because I don't want to drink.

Uh... Coca-Cola, not cocaine,
obviously.

I mean, I do want to drink
Coca-Cola.

I don't want to drink alcohol.

Alcohol, cocaine, it's absurd.
It's bad for your brain.

You lose brain cells
every time you consume it.

And neurological damage
from narcotics is immense.

Never mind the chance
of a mini stroke.

Well, you're in luck.

Because we have Coke... a-Cola.

Thank you.

That'll be a whole $4, thanks.

Mm-hm. Yes.

Oh...

Let's just say... you owe me.

G?

Come sit.

It needs to be exciting.
The title needs to have guts.

Yeah, whatever. I still
like my concept, though.

Yeah, of course
you do, mate!

Building on Sledge's concept,

how about 'animal instincts'
as the theme?

But is that original enough?

What about Animal Spirits?

It was a term chosen

by John Maynard Keynes
in his 1936 economic book

The General Theory Of
Employment, Interest And Money

to describe a human emotion

that drives a spontaneous urge
to action and not inaction.

According to Keynes,

animal spirits
also generate human trust.

- Wait, what... what?
- Animal Spirits.

Oh, of course,
Keynes was applying it

to an impulse that compels
economic activity,

but you can interpret it
more, um... artistically.

It's good.

We can each interpret
a spontaneous urge to action

specific to us.

You like it, Sledge?

Uh... yeah, yeah.

I guess the whole neon tigers
thing fits in, so...

See, it was a term chosen

to emphasise the importance
of gut instinct.

Thank you, Mr Keynes,
for your gut instincts

on what we're actually
trying to do here.

A live installation

with multiple TV screens
and a dance floor.

And I want to be part of it
with my '80s dance video hero.

And it really would be better
if I had a troupe of dancers,

but I don't,

so could everybody please learn
the dance moves

from 1 minute 22 seconds
to 3 minutes 10 seconds?

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God! It's a dog!

A dog! No, no, no, no!

Friday, 9:40am.

Darling, it's Mum here.
Been calling you all week.

I'm wondering how
your treatment is going.

Dad's wrist's feeling better
in the heat.

I wish you'd get a mobile.

Monday, 9:12am.

Adrian, Stan.

If I wasn't
so damned insightful,

I'd think you weren't
that frightened

of losing your life's research.

Maybe the big boss could
reduce your suspension

if you could just deliver
section 6.

Try for me, will you?

Monday, 10am.

Adrian, hey.

It's me... uh, Melinda.

I know it's been a very long
time, but I need to see you.

I... feel, um... ready now. I...

Can you call me? I hope you do.

Oh.

Hmm.

Ha ha! Yes, baby, yes!

What does G represent,
do you think?

Badness.

Dirty stuff.

Sex.

I think you keep G
internally isolated

because you might be frightened
that if you let her come out,

she might contaminate
all of you.

Yeah.

She frightens us.

Grace, were you surprised
that G turned up to therapy?

Kind of.

But I need her
for the collective.

She's got that toughness.

I do get lonely sometimes.

And then I imagine myself
with a boyfriend.

I always stuff it up.

I'm not cut out for the whole
falling-in-love thing.

As soon as they want physical
stuff, I'm out of there.

I can't.

You know, I'd like to think
that one day

you will be able to trust
somebody enough to get close.

And trust yourself.

The idea of me being
somebody's girlfriend

is pretty ridiculous.

That somebody would have to be
equally ridiculous

to be willing to take on
all of us.

Our goal is to integrate
your parts.

But the integration of G,

that part who manages
your innate sexual needs,

is going to be most important
in enabling you

to engage in a healthy, loving
and physical relationship.

I don't know.

What I do know is that
since G joined the collective,

she's the only one who paints.

It's like I've lost my ability
or... urge.

I want that back.

Oi! Homeless man! Wait up!

Grace! Grace!

I just gave a homeless man
four kilos of almonds!

Oh.

So, Sledge has decided to use
your idea. Animal Spirits.

He says pop round anytime.

But that was G at the
collective, not you, right?

Right.

So, does that mean
your different parts know

what each other get up to?

Depends.

When it comes to work
and painting,

I seem to remember what G does,

but when it gets
personal, or...

..physical,
she's mostly blocked.

I have walls between my parts.

- Like concrete walls?
- Yeah.

The kind that would require
a serious smashing of bricks.

How come you know about parts?

Well, researching OCD
got repetitive.

So, you know I'm pretty weird.

Yes, but in a contest,

I'd win the weirdness award,
believe me.

But you don't want to be
in therapy, do you?

Um, well,
my postdoctorate suspension,

it didn't give me much choice.

OK.

Now you're just showing off.

Postdoctorate in what?

Quantum mechanics, robotics

and the application
of artificial intelligence

in controlled engineering.

Aha! And in English?

Oh. I like fast cars
and computers.

Are you designing
a fast car fantasy game,

or an app or something?

No, no.
I've designed apps, but no.

If I was gonna work on
a fast car app,

believe me,
it wouldn't be for a game.

You mean you could design
an app for a real car?

Maybe to start a car, I could.

But that's not what
your fancy postdoc's about.

No, no, no, not exactly, no.

I was being funded to build
software for a car company,

but, well, I got too slow.

Ever since my break-up
with Melinda,

time hasn't been my forte.

Unless I'm behind the wheel
of a car.

Did Melinda break your heart?

Uh...

Sh-she just froze it in time.

I-I was a coward. I-I hurt her.

I still think about her
obsessively.

Maybe because I know I'll never
be in another relationship.

How do you know that?

Oh, uh...

Melinda once asked me if I'd be
able to break out of my rituals

if her life depended on it.

I couldn't answer her.

One night, when I was four,

I was babysat by
a 17-year-old neighbour.

Mum and Dad were getting me
out of the bath as he arrived.

I was in a towel.

He called me a tease
and... yeah.

When we came out of my bedroom,

I drew this teapot
on the corridor wall.

I was too young to understand
what the word meant.

It wasn't your fault.

Ever since, every touch holds
a request. I can't handle it.

Except for dogs. They're cool.

You and me both.

Oh... minus the dogs.

Uh-uh.

Sledgehammer,
how does it feel

to be Cross Magazine's number
one Melbourne street artist?

- Pretty cool.
- That's it. There it is.

That's the cover right there.

What's next
for Cognitus Crew?

I don't know.
Guess we'll find out.

You know it.

We have one place left.

The spot is in
our Fatales section.

So far, only acclaimed lady
artists, but G is that good.

Maybe we should
get her involved.

Yeah. Yeah, she is
that good, hey?

I appreciate it, Eric, man.
It's just, um...

..I don't want to capsize
her canoe, you know?

She's, uh...
she's pretty green still.

Until our collective exhibition
is done,

I don't want to...
overwhelm her or anything.

Are you serious?

Edinburgh would be
bigger for her

than your collective exhibit.

Surely you wouldn't deny her
this opportunity.

Yeah, I appreciate it, man.
I'll chat to her.

I'll email through the details
in case you change your mind.

Yeah, sweet.

Oi.

Why tease me like this, G?

Mmm!

Look at you, all cute and coy.

Fuck!

Tease!

Grace, our bodies have a way
of telling us things.

You just have to read
the language.

Your teapot all over
that painting was a language.

My proctitis was a language
that told me I am a lesbian.

Your proctitis?

It's the inflammation
of the anus.

Every time I sleep with a man,
I get this damn inflammation.

Men were literally
a pain in my ass.

Hey, Selene!
Your boxes are here!

Thanks, Tom.
Did you sign for them?

Yes.

Tease. Tease.
You're a tease.

G.

G.

Ganja.

Poor bastard.

He doesn't know whether
you love him or hate him.

- Hey.
- Yeah, so, um...

Look, I don't know
where your head's at

with the whole
Animal Spirits thing,

but I'm down,
and I figure we go...

..you go all out
with the centrepiece.

And tie it all together through
what's in the middle there.

Love.

No, I figure the centrepiece
should be about love.

But, uh... like, you do want you
want, yeah? You'll be awesome.

Love works.

- I love you, G...
- I'll have to tell Adrian.

Yeah, right.

OK? As long as
you use the chest.

Flipping up.

Do your hair. Do your hair.

- Very good!
- Yes!

That is what he gets for asking
libido to paint about love.

84... and done.

85... and done.

86... and done.

- 87... and done.
- Hey, Adrian.

Oh, hello, Grace!

I didn't mean to disturb you.
Just walking.

Oh, no, no, that's OK.

If you just wait a minute,
I-I'll walk with you.

I'm almost done.

Um... eighty-si...
no, eighty... eighty...

Uh, seventy-eight... seventy...

Dammit! Dammit!

Uh... one... and done.

Two... and done.

Three... and done.

Four... and done.

Five... and done...

99... and done.

100... and done!

OK, Grace... Arghh!

Whoa! Mmm! Uh...

They're on leashes,
aren't they?

- Yep.
- OK. OK.

It's good to see you.

You too.

Would it help if I walked
on the other side of the road?

- Mmm!
- OK.

Come on. Come on.

- This is nice!
- Yeah.

Ohh...

Are you OK with this?

Mm-hm. Uh... yep!

Whoo!

- Ooh!
- Sorry.

How... how's your painting
for the exhibition going?

Dunno. It's all G.

I'm still struggling.
It's been too long.

Oh. Do you miss it?

Oh, hell, yeah! I miss
getting lost in a painting.

When I see a picture
I really like,

it gets this light around it
and it makes me feel good.

That's hard to explain.

Oh, you sense good energy.

I guess. Around people, too.

The good ones,
who care about others,

they have strong lights.

But, uh, that's pretty rare.

- You seem very perceptive.
- About others, maybe.

Hey, Karen said it's important
I try painting

somewhere different
around someone... new.

Want to come on an expedition
with me tomorrow morning?

- Maybe even help out?
- Yeah, I-I'd love to!

You... you're really beautiful!

Yeah, I am!

I'm Little!

The beautiful one!
The lovable one!

Mm-hm!

Oh! Oopsy-daisies!

- You've gotta catch them!
- Aarggh!

- Oh, catch them!
- Fuck! Get away from me!

Cowardice!

Well, that may be
the fucking definition!

Who knew it had gloves
but no socks?!

You dick!

I'm getting married.

Uh...
..congratulations.

Uh... yeah, well, I mean...

..Greg's... Greg's proposed.

Just, I-I haven't decided yet.

I'm ruminating about
my body again and, um...

Oh, he's just so fucking
normal, you know?

Do you still think about me?

You look so hot like that.

Uh-uh. Promise you're not
fucking with me.

I promise I'm fucking you.

I fucking love you, G, OK?

I need you.

Come on, G.
Come on, what did I say?

Fuck, G! You fucking promised!

Mr Keynes.

Sledgehammer!

I-I thought
I'd come and see, uh...

..well, the exhibit progress.

Sure. Why not?

Go on, come in.
G should be back soon.

Uh... mmm...

OK. Yep.

- Just come through.
- Yep.

She's pretty crazy, huh, man?

Oh, but then I guess we're all
fuckin' crazy, though, right?

I'm fuckin' crazy.

Hey, look, you guys, uh...

..you haven't had, like,
a fling or some shit, have you?

Oh, no, no, no. No fling, no.

See, I'd convinced myself
she was fucking you, man.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

You know, like,
we have great sex, right?

Like, the greatest
fuckin' sex, man.

Like, I mean, she goes off
and flirts with other dudes,

but I guess... like, none of
that shit matters when you...

..when you connect.

Like, when you're connected
to someone in that way.

'Cause she knows me
better than anyone.

And I'm the same for her.
And when we paint, man, fuck!

When we paint together,
we disappear

into this fuckin' cloud
together, man.

- Creativity.
- Creativity, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

And, you know,
creativity's, like,

the most intimate thing
you can share, yeah?

Like, you've got to be
vulnerable

to open yourself up
to that space.

And what's cool, man,
what's really fuckin' cool,

is she can do that with me.

What?!

You've got to stop blasting
that shit all the time!

It's too much, man!

I want everybody to get
familiar with the music...

"Hi, Sledge..."

"..Women's Exhibit
in Edinburgh...

"..huge opportunity for G."

"Hey, Eric...

"Not the right time for G.

"She has politely declined
the invitation."

- I can't remember!
- What do you mean?

G, what are you doing?

G, where were you?
Are you drunk?

Jealousy's
an aphrodisiac.

You know I wouldn't
just give this centrepiece

to a mate, right?

I'm not forcing you
into anything.

I'm just saying,
it's your fuckin' choice!

Do you know anything about

the legendary Khordadian
Persian aerobic dance?

Nnnn... Should I?

Yes, yes, yes, you should.

You should research it
like I have.

Because if you haven't danced,
you haven't lived.

You met Little and Spike.

Um, I'm sorry about the dogs.

I'm sorry about Spike's mouth.

I can't always control
my switching.

I'm sorry we didn't
get to do your painting.

Melinda, my ex-girlfriend,
she came to see me.

Yeah. Thought that was her.

How old's Little?

She used to be four,
but she's grown up to six now.

She grows up?

Yeah. As I get better
through therapy.

Hopefully I'm slowly
getting there.

Oh, I've forgotten
where "there" is.

So... so, how many, uh...

- There's 10 of us.
- Ah.

If you imagine it like a house,

and that there's
many rooms inside me.

Oh, and you can see the rooms?
You know where everyone is?

Oh, not everyone can
see and hear each other,

but I can see the house

and I can usually find someone
if I try.

There's a clock in the shape
of a heart above the roof.

It's always ticking.

Certain rooms only unlock
at certain times if I ask them.

Trouble is, I can't always
see the time.

Clouds, they get in the way.

It's fascinating!

As if!

Who'd want to put up
with 10 of us?

Well, if a guy
didn't have many friends,

it would make
a great package deal.

What about you? Since Melinda,
there's really been no-one?

Who'd want to put up with a guy

who wears gloves
instead of socks?

Someone might.

Usually when guys talk to me
for this long,

they want something else,
but...

..you don't want to touch me.

The funny thing is...

..I don't want to be touched
either...

..usually.

It's about time we did
something to help you out.

You must be dying for it.

What do you do with
all that sexual energy, huh?

Fantasise?

Touch yourself?

Wet dreams, maybe?
Ooh, I can see it.

It's there.
What do you do with it, huh?

I... I drive!

Aha! Am I tormenting you?

No, no, no, no, no.

This is, uh, perfectly normal,
reasonable behaviour.

You're... you're not a tease.
You never were.

Uh... I-I'm responsible.

I could do you right here
on this bench, in public.

Ohh! That would be hot.

Arggh!
Don't fuckin' touch me!

Fuck! Shit!

This is gonna take me
hours now,

you stupid, stupid idiot!

Ohhh, dammit, dammit!

Grace?

Look, I... I-I'm sorry.

I'm so embarrassed!
I saw what G just did!

Oh, no, no, no, that's great.
I mean... uh...

Look, every third Wednesday
is my going out day.

Maybe we... we could do
something on Wednesday.

I... I could take you out for...

You could do your painting or
I could take you out for lunch

or both!

Let's be spontaneous.
How about lunch now?

No, no, uh, no, no, no,
because it's...

..it's gotta be Wednesday, OK?

And it's not Wednesday.

- OK.
- OK. Yeah, good, good, good.

'Cause I've gotta go shower,
and I think you should shower.

We should both shower.
I mean... no, no, no!

I gotta go, OK? Uh, bye! Sorry!

Remember
we discussed the idea

of you reducing
the number of times

you check just one area?

The gas, for example?

Or halving things -
the detergent or the soap bars?

Have you made any progress?

No. I-I've been too busy.

Busy?

Well, it's not long
since I've moved in.

The house is still filthy.

I'm systematically cleaning
each room.

By the time I shower,
watch a bit of TV,

it's already very late.

That must make contact
with friends very difficult.

Yeah, well, if you turn up
three hours late to a movie,

do you expect anyone
to wait around for you?

Come on, do you keep your
husband waiting three hours

and expect him to be
hanging around for you?

Well, take it from me,
they give up on you eventually.

Why do you keep
your husband waiting?

You should know by now
how much I enjoy my work.

Oh. Ah.
Obsessive, huh?

Melinda used to say, "Love is
not a mathematical equation."

She'd say,
"Lose the calculator."

She's right.

When you stop measuring
and calculating and just live,

then you can love.

To love, you have to be
spontaneous.

And one simple act
of spontaneity,

it can change everything.

Mmm.

Well, are you spontaneous?
With your husband?

No. But you'd like to be.

There, see? There I go again.

I have not lost my knack for
ruining encounters with women.

"Encounters".
Who are these women?

Well, they're just figments
of my imagination, really.

There is one woman.
She's very beautiful.

I ended up showering
three times.

Oh, you know what? That...
that sounded so perverted.

I just meant I washed myself
more, that's all.

Is this woman someone
you could like, or... trust?

We just talk on a park bench.
Nothing raunchy.

Do you still think about
those times?

Times when you could accept
a hug or a kiss

from someone you cared for?

Do you?

Is it important for you
to compare yourself to me?

It's important for me
to clown around.

Look, I... I know where
you're going with this, OK?

And... and it is nice
in theory, but...

Well, the idea of exchanging
body fluids with someone,

it just... it just...
it...

..it seems impossible.

Impossible.

- May I?
- Yes.

OK, thank you.

Because you think that
they might contaminate you,

or because you feel
that you may contaminate them?

Both.

Adrian? We've talked
about the options.

There are no magic solutions.

You have to be prepared
to work at it.

But there is medication.

I... I told you, my brain
is important to me, OK?

I don't want my thinking
to be affected.

I've read about
the side effects.

There's dizziness, headaches,
the inability to drive.

I-I've gotta drive.

I've gotta drive.

What if it works, Adrian?

How can I marry him when
I can't even walk around naked?

I mean, I only have sex
in the dark.

What is it this time? Because I
don't actually have much money.

This time?

My ears did stick out
pathologically

and I had no breasts.

Who said I wanted money,
anyway?

I mean, this is a very big
decision to make on my own.

And I can't talk to Greg
about it. I...

- I'm serious.
- Yeah.

Hey there, lovebird fuckers!

- Who... who's this?
- Spike.

- What, as in Jonze?
- Yeah, something like that.

I'm Adrian's neighbour
and sometimes confidante,

and I want to know why the fuck
you are fucking with his head!

- Excuse me?
- You heard!

The old "I'm getting married.
Are you jealous?"

"Tell me you love me,
because I'm shitting myself

"at the impending boredom
of forever with some dude

"who's gonna give me a picket
fence and a loose vagina."

Oh, shame! I feel for you.

Sorry! Am I being
too fucking generic?

Are you here to prove
how fully functioning you are

in comparison to
your crazy ex-boyfriend

who can't even leave the house?

Yeah, looks like I hit
the nail on the head there.

Loose vagina?

She didn't mean that.
I... I didn't say that.

No, of course
you didn't!

You're too busy
drowning your guilt

in soap suds day and night!

Guilt! Get it?

You are a coward
and you can't get over it!

It! Not her!

If you care so much, you'll
get those dogs away from him.

Arggh!

I'm not an enabler.

I test boundaries, and that's
how I show my affection.

- Hose you?
- Mmm!

Mmm, mmm. Mmm. Whew!

Come on. Come on, work for me.

Come on.

Yes! Whoo!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

Whoo! Whoo!

OK, OK.

OK, good. OK.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Hey, check it out!

Hey, honey! How about
a free ride for us and for you?

- Adrian?!
- Venus!

We thought you reneged
on our deal

or that you'd crashed that
shipwreck of a car and died!

Maybe he IS dead
and this is car heaven.

What is this delicious vehicle?

Oh, hi, Celeste. I'm not
supposed to be driving this.

My dad's storing it in my
garage. He took away the key.

He's trying to bribe me
to change my...

This'll change your sex life,
that's for sure!

Honey, come on!
Get out or let me get in!

I'm just a squirrel
looking for a nut.

Oh, no, no nuts. Sorry, ladies.

But I did bring refreshments
as promised.

Lots of sugar, no alcohol!

Be careful
and don't scratch the paint.

When we said "drinks",
we meant drinks!

Goddamn, we just got a sugar
daddy for life now instead.

So, um...

..were you ladies
really dancers?

Would I lie to you?

Queens of an exotic
dance troupe.

My career didn't end because
my moves were too bad.

No, because the smack
was so good!

Well... I'd better
get going now.

But I'll see you next time.

Take us with you,
mon amour!

Listen to your father
and ride something else!

Like a woman!

Wow.

I didn't think you'd show up.

Shouldn't you be
furious with me?

Oh, Spike makes me
want to toughen up.

Do you want to go for burgers?

Uh...

..uh... OK.

So, lunch first
and then my painting?

Yep.

Mmm!

Aren't burgers the best?!

Yes, they're the best.

Are you free to do something
on Monday night?

Say, um, I don't know...
..3am?

What did you want to do?

Oh, I want to take you out.
It's a surprise.

Mmm.

Stay there. Don't move,
or this whole thing won't work.

- Mmm.
- Arms down.

You said you wanted to
toughen up, so... promise me.

Yeah, OK. I-I promise you.

So, what's this new technique?

Pigment.

Watch.

- Ready?
- Mmm.

Uno... dos... tres!

Being aware
of G's sexual behaviour,

even for a few moments,
is a momentous change.

Do you want to tell me
what she did?

She was just flirting very hard
with... someone.

We don't have to talk about it.

- Is G soundproofed now?
- Yeah.

But she actually...

..she spoke to me in a dream
I had the other night.

That's never happened before.

That's great.
What did she say?

She said she wants
to work together with me

on the centrepiece.

And that she wants
to come out of the attic.

She's tired of it.

She asked me if I'd be happy
to make some time

to sit with her
in the lounge room,

because she's feeling lonely.

And then she smiled at me
really nicely.

And what did you say?

I said maybe, because
I felt a bit sorry for her,

but that she would have to
promise not to behave badly.

She laughed.
Said she'd think about it.

Actually, I feel a bit
different since I spoke to her.

One and done.

Two and done.

Three and done.

Hmm.

You ready?

Almost.

Do I need to bring anything?

Music. Your kind of music.

Wait outside my garage.

Oh!

You should get in.
We have 127 minutes to go.

Oooh!

Great idea you had
with the app.

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!

Trust me!

Thank God!
We were getting thirsty!

Daddy's car again? Bad boy!

Adrian! Mama!

- They know you?
- Yes, I'm a regular here now.

Oh, my God!
There's a woman in there!

- Mamma mia!
- A beautiful woman!

- This is Grace, my, um...
- Friend. Hey. I'm Grace.

Hand them a drink.

OK. Like always,
don't scratch the paint.

Delicious, divine and
hopefully not a hallucination.

- Hello, Grace.
- He's finally a man.

- Marry him!
- Bravo!

Ooh, ooh, we've gotta go!
There's only 87 minutes left.

I still don't know
what we're counting down to.

Oh, I hacked into the highway
police patrol schedule.

Who are you?

Hold on tight, Adrian, baby!
Don't you fall from Grace!

See you at rehearsal!

- Bye!
- Have fun, lovebirds!

Maybe I could do some painting
on the walls in your garage.

It could be cool.

Would you let me in?

In my garage? Uh...

Yes.

I'd love that. I... I'm excited.

See, I feel pretty honoured

that you have the time for me
and not for Edinburgh.

Are you sure?

Sure.

What's in Edinburgh?

Oh. Um...

I-I don't know.
Um, I'm mixing things up.

Tomorrow afternoon?
Meet you at the garage?

- Is something up?
- Huh?

With me? No, no. Uh...

Tomorrow, well... I can't do it
in the afternoon.

I promised Melinda
I'd be somewhere. But...

..can you do the evening?

OK.

What did you promise Melinda?

Oh, uh...

It's somewhat personal.
I shouldn't say.

Do you still want her back?

I don't know now.

Hmm.

This is my favourite song.

My mum and I
used to dance to it.

Oh!

- Oh!
- Ooh!

99, done.

100, done.

Adrian, here.

Take it!

For Godsakes!

You did not
just bring me here

for some artistic opinion.

Yeah, I did.
This is Adrian's garage.

His blank walls
need a touch of me.

Yeah? Then why are we alone
in the dark, huh?

You know, that guy would be
scared of a spray can.

Nuh. He came painting with
me at the deserted factory.

Fuck you, G! That's...

You know, you probably DO
want to fuck him, don't you?

I'd like to see that, actually.

Bet you the guy's too fuckin'
scared to touch his own dick.

Maybe he does it like this,
huh? Without his hands.

Maybe I just want to close my
eyes and pretend that it's him.

Maybe that's
what I really want.

Oh! Fuck!

You guys should leave.

Well, I'm going to!

We should all leave!

46... and done.

47...

Adrian, it's me!

Adrian?

Hey, I'm...

..I'm really sorry.

I want to make it up to you.

I made sandwiches for lunch.

Are you free?

Uh...

Uh... uh...

49...

..and done.

And 50...

..and... done.

I...

I want to apologise for
G showing up instead of me.

I...

I was disappointed,
so G acted out.

You can be honest.
Do you want to hang out?

Uh... uh...

Adrian?

Aarggh! Fuck! No!

Fuck!

No!

Uh...

Oh, Grace?

Uh, are you there?

98, and done.

99, and done.

100, and done.

Oh, I...

I can't sit.
I've got to find someone.

Someone? What...?

Hey, I...

So, you're just running away
as usual, are you?

You're my support through this.
We've got another appointment.

We didn't have sex
for three years.

Greg wants sex every night.

I ended up in a neck brace,
for fuck's sake!

Mel, nothing has changed.

I still can't get out of the
bathroom for someone I love.

Well, we love each other.
So much.

OK, I know. I know.

This maniac is
who we're looking for?

- G, wait.
- No, thanks!

I hope you have
a very happy life together!

Just try and stay
out of my face.

This is my turf.

It's alright for you to have
sex in my garage, I suppose?

- What do you care?!
- Yeah, what do YOU care?

Fuck off!

I can take care of myself!

That crazy is totally
in love with you.

You don't... like her, do you?

Yep. Mel, I'm gonna
walk you home now.

Who says I'm done here?

Have you even heard a word
that I've been saying?

- For fuck's sake!
- I heard you! OK?

You are always gonna
doubt yourself, Mel.

And I am always gonna be sorry
for what I did,

but mostly for what
I did not do for you.

But I'm not always gonna be
hurt by you not loving me,

so please just let me be sorry
and stop trying to hurt me.

It's just... Greg's so perfect.

I just... That's what's scary.

Well, don't worry.
He's probably not that great.

You're just comparing him to me

and he's killing it
on the normality scale.

Now, shall we?

Adrian, it's Stan.

Premium Motors don't want to
wait the full three months.

They're gonna cut your retainer

and your research
will become company property.

So, tell me you've
done something, Adrian,

because if you haven't...

Call me.
Just please, mate, call me.

Grace?

She won't be back
for a long, long time.

Oh. I-I see.

What happened
to your girlfriend?

No, I don't have a girlfriend.

I don't care if you do.

Do you know much
about chemistry?

Uh... what, biochemistry?

- Sexual chemistry.
- Oh, no.

You like me. I can tell.

- I do?
- Yep.

You're a bit scared of me,
but you like me,

and that's because
we have chemistry.

Can't ignore it if it's there,
can't grow it if it's not,

so if it is there, it's kind of
crazy not to act on it.

Oh, it's not the first time
I've done something crazy.

Oh, yeah? How crazy?

Oh, not that kind of crazy.

I meant the first kind of crazy
you mentioned.

In a perfect world, what
would you like to do to me?

I-I'd like to leave
a message with Grace...

..actually,
if that's how it works.

I want her to meet me at
that bench at 4pm on Wednesday.

- To apologise.
- You want me.

No, no, no,
I... I don't want you.

- You don't want me?
- Well... no, yes, well...

Do you hate me because
I make you uncomfortable?

No, no, no, no, no, I don't
hate you. Why would I?

I mean, it's the opposite. I...

You hate me.

You hate me. Go on, admit it.

You hate me.

No, I love you!

I... I'll see you later.

Uh, Stan. It's, um, Adrian.

You here to keep me company,
Keynes,

or you want to give me a hand
with these boxes?

Hmm...

Sledgehammer,
it's come to my attention

that you're inhibiting
G's progress as an artist.

What do you mean?

I-I know you never told her
about the opportunity

at the Edinburgh
Women's Exhibition,

and if you don't, I will.

What is this, blackmail?

No, no, no, what you're doing
with G about the centrepiece,

that would be a much more apt
example of blackmail.

Yeah, well, I didn't tell her
about the Edinburgh invitation

'cause I didn't want
to float her canoe, alright?

- Edinburgh invitation?
- Yes, yes, yes.

Street Art University
invited you

to be part of an exhibition
in Edinburgh,

and he declined on your behalf.

What?!

Wait, you knew
and you didn't tell me?

I can't trust either of you!

You... you misunderstood
what I said.

You know, what you saw
with Melinda and I.

Oh, look, don't fuckin' compare
me to him, OK? Come on!

OK, stop it! Both of you!

Sledge, I decide on my RSVP

for career-altering
exhibitions, not you.

Yeah, well, guess what, G. This
is my fuckin' collective, OK?

I don't want you getting
distracted by some other shit

and pissing off when we're
doing our fuckin' centrepiece!

You can shove the centrepiece
up your arse!

Fuck, man!

I am NEVER coming back!

Do you fucking hear me?!

You can fuck yourself,
you fucking dick!

Oh! Yeah? What are
you gonna do, come here?

Big fuckin' threat!

Uh... uh...

Mmm... mmm...

No. Mmm.

Ah! Oh!

Uh...

We are so not over!

No. No, no.

You don't mean no.

Get off!

Fuck! Shit! Fuck!

No!

Arggh! Fuck!

Fuck! Jesus! Fuck!

Enough of this
hot-and-cold bullshit, G!

It's fuckin' torture!

Sledge, I am Grace, not G,
and I don't want this.

I don't want this ever again
between us.

Listen to yourself!
You're fuckin' crazy!

- I know who you are!
- No, you don't!

No, I need you, G, OK?

Yes, you need me!
You need my attention!

You need me
for the centrepiece!

You are NOT in love with me!

You fuckin' bitch!

You treat me like the fuckin'
dog! Do you know that?!

Do you know what that fuckin'
feels like, G, huh?!

You know what that
fuckin' feels like?!

Oh!

Oh!

Is there something wrong
with the front door?

This was easier.

Thank you.

I want you to know that...

..it's me.

Not G.

I want to touch you.

Uh, I'm sorry. I, uh...

No.

I'm very, very happy to unveil

my very first interactive
video installation

with the dress rehearsal of

the live performance
for the opening night!

Dude, we told you,
we can't.

- Adrian!
- Ganja!

Rajib, are you ready?

Come on!

Come, come, come!
Come on, girls!

Whoo!

Oh, hey, girl!

Did you know
he was doing this?

No!

Whoo!

Subtitles by explosiveskull