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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Bokutox -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. 2 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:24,774 Mission Control, come in. Mission Control, do you read? 3 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,530 Mayday. Mayday. 4 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:34,575 On reentry into Earth's orbit, I seem to have fallen into, 5 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:38,246 I don't know, some kind of tear in time and space. 6 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:42,125 My coordinates are unknown. Is this even Earth? 7 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:47,505 Ship's instruments indicate should be White Sands, New Mexico. 8 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:51,300 Obvious error. Is anyone receiving this? Come back. 9 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:56,639 Oh, God. Oh, God. 10 00:00:56,974 --> 00:01:01,060 Recovery team! Recovery team, fix coordinates now! 11 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:05,773 Where the hell am I? Somebody respond! 12 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,567 Recovery team, come back, God damn it! 13 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:08,776 Does anybody... 14 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,280 Oh, God. Oh, God! 15 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,240 Does anyone read... 16 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:21,748 No! 17 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:31,340 This is Today, with Matt Lauer. 18 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,801 We're back now with Dr. Rick Marshall, 19 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,387 whose new book arrives in stores tomorrow. 20 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:42,268 It was back in Oslo, Doctor, last month, that you just startled your colleagues 21 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:45,897 with this theory of yours that takes science in a completely new direction. 22 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,023 Quantum... Quantum Paleontology. 23 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,274 Quantum Paleontology, that's correct. 24 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,942 What exactly is that? 25 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:54,280 Well, it's... Not to say modestly, it's our very future, Matt. 26 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,491 It's the only real solution 27 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,951 to solving this fossil fuel crisis we're experiencing. 28 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,579 And it boils down to two simple words. 29 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,080 Renewable biofuels. 30 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,208 Close. Time warps. 31 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:07,627 Time warps? Time warps. 32 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,669 You're serious about this. 33 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,630 I'm deadly serious. 34 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:14,091 Five years, over $50 million on my research. 35 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:17,637 You've spent $50 million of your own money studying time warps? 36 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:21,307 No, that's adorable. No, taxpayers' money. I don't have $50 million. 37 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:22,725 And now you're asking for more. 38 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,268 It's all explained in my book. 39 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:25,478 I know. We've plugged the book. 40 00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:27,939 Yeah. 41 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,106 Bantam Books. Amazon. 42 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:32,819 We are living in a time right now with huge cuts in... 43 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:33,945 I saw. 44 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,404 Huge cuts in spending. Right. 45 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,989 We're in dire economic straits, 46 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:40,952 and you're spending $50 million on studying time warps. 47 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,995 How do you not think that's irresponsible? 48 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,163 Well, I... Are you smoking? 49 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,998 No, I'm making a balloon animal here, earthling. 50 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,291 But you can't smoke in the studio. 51 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,543 Okay, no one told me that. 52 00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:50,169 Just, you can't. 53 00:02:50,254 --> 00:02:51,587 Look, look... Fine. 54 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:56,342 There are huge, huge amounts of trans-dimensional energy out there 55 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,177 just waiting for us to throw the switch. 56 00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,512 Energy crisis averted. 57 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:04,141 You are asking people to stake the entire future of industrialized civilization 58 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,853 on what you call "parallel dimensions. " 59 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,856 What about the critics who have a fair question, Doctor? 60 00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:10,940 Mmm-hmm. 61 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:14,235 They say this theory of yours is not science. It is non-science. 62 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,904 And some are even more blunt, and they say it's nonsense. 63 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,114 How do you respond to that? 64 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,407 My critics? Your critics. 65 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,200 And there are a lot of them. Can you be more specific? 66 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,785 Stephen Hawking. 67 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:26,831 Stephen Hawking says this is nonsense. That's his word. 68 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,416 Okay, you know what? This interview's over. 69 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,625 Why? 70 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,295 Because, like, your producers said you wouldn't bring that up, all right? 71 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,379 It's a fair question. 72 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,131 No, it's not! It's a hatchet job! 73 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,383 That was my guest Dr. Rick Marshall, 74 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,426 whose book arrives in stores tomorrow. 75 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,677 RICK: Goddamn right it was! 76 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:40,761 You might want to look for it 77 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:44,265 in the "I'm out of my freaking mind" department. 78 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,142 When we come back, trampolines. 79 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,435 Summer fun or silent killer? 80 00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:48,978 Wait, wait! He's making a run for the stage! 81 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,229 Are you out of your mind? 82 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:52,231 Hey, he's so strong! What are you, crazy? 83 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:03,159 Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, I'll conclude with this. 84 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,621 Our very future depends on one thing. 85 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,083 Subatomic particles that move so incredibly fast, 86 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,419 they actually travel backwards in time. 87 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:18,299 Ask yourself, what if there was a device that could harness these tachyons? 88 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:22,678 We could open and travel through warps in time and space. 89 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,932 What's that? Not in our lifetime? 90 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:29,977 My friends, I've designed such a device. 91 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,688 I give to you the tachyon amplifier. 92 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,483 Genius in a box. 93 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:39,570 Only with this device, you don't travel forwards or backwards. 94 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,822 You travel sideways in time 95 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:46,452 to another dimension where past, present and future all meet. 96 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,871 And lights! 97 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,541 All right, any questions? 98 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,795 Oh! Great. Yes. You, right there, young man. 99 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:58,798 Yeah. If you shot a ton of pot at the sun, 100 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,967 would it burn up and get everybody high? 101 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,593 No. No, no. 102 00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:05,513 Are there any real questions that pertain to science? 103 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:06,973 Do you take Cialis? 104 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,809 Why were you crying in the bathroom before this presentation? 105 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,894 How come it looks like you're about to cry now? 106 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,354 Do dinosaurs have boobs? 107 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,189 That's it. That's it. Everybody out of here. 108 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,858 Get out of here! Go play in the parking lot. 109 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,151 Go run around on the freeway, I don't care. 110 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,736 Okay, guys, let's get some sugar! 111 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,488 I have a question. 112 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,241 Did you ever try to make the tachyon amplifier? 113 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,325 Who are you? 114 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,910 Oh! I'm sorry. I'm Holly Cantrell. 115 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,663 I studied all your work at Cambridge. 116 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,082 I think you're brilliant. 117 00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:37,211 Well, Holly from Cambridge who thinks I'm brilliant, 118 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,380 I started, but I didn't finish. So, no. 119 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,924 No, but you have to build it. I mean, it's the most incredible... 120 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,301 What are you eating? 121 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,971 It's a donut stuffed with M&M's. 122 00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:50,599 That way when you finish the donut, you don't have to eat any M&M's. 123 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,436 But don't you see? You were absolutely right. 124 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,562 Everything... Stop! 125 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:59,817 Chasing that theory got me laughed out of mainstream science and landed me here. 126 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,319 And you know what? I don't have anyone to blame but myself. 127 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:08,492 'Cause, as they say, if you don't make it, it's your own damn "vault. " 128 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,828 That's a bitch-slap of truth right there. 129 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:15,082 If your theories are such rubbish, then explain this. 130 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:22,131 That fossil is over 265 million years old 131 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,717 with an imprint of a $10 lighter. 132 00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,177 Go on, explain that. 133 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,221 I found it out in the desert along with crystals like this 134 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,766 that radiate pure tachyon energy. 135 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:34,935 Go on. 136 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,730 Explain that. 137 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,849 Captain Kirk's nipples! 138 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,437 The tar pits will be open in five minutes. 139 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,689 Dr. Marshall, please return the page. 140 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:24,443 Dr. Marshall? 141 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,406 Oh, my God. 142 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,994 Are you all right? Hey. Up you get. 143 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,542 Here. Just lean against... Oh, dear. 144 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:43,671 I'm fine, okay. I just worked late. 145 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:48,968 Then I got hungry, and I had several meals and lapsed into a food coma. 146 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:53,514 I've had issues with food in the past, and I don't know, you know, 147 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:56,225 just with the stress of everything, I just overdid it. 148 00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:00,980 But I'm in control, and I don't have to go back to Phoenix. 149 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:05,484 I just... I wanted to come and apologize for yesterday. 150 00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:07,611 My behavior was just... 151 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,113 RICK: No, no, no, it was me. 152 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,992 You finished the tachyon amplifier! 153 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,994 No. No. I mean, yes. 154 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,788 I don't know. I finished building it, yes, 155 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:21,333 but I didn't have the nerve to test it out. 156 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:27,006 So I thought a trip to Arby's might give me some courage, but no dice. 157 00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:29,466 Then I had Popeye's, Del Taco. 158 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,802 Fourteen thousand calories later, 159 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,804 I found myself down at Subway, 160 00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:36,891 powering through a 12-inch veggie on whole wheat, 161 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,852 babbling to a cutout of Jared. 162 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,396 It still didn't give me the strength to turn that thing on. 163 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:44,857 I'm a coward. 164 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,484 You are not a coward. You're a visionary. 165 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,197 This is probably the greatest work of genius in the last 100 years. 166 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:59,079 God, I hope I get it! I hope I get it 167 00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,539 How many... 168 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,166 Is that A Chorus Line? 169 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,793 It's leftover data from the drive. 170 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,503 What a piece of crap! 171 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,922 Look at all the people... 172 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:11,300 The machine, I mean. Not A Chorus Line. 173 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,720 I love show tunes. They really tell the story of the human condition. 174 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,014 It's a bit gay. 175 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,433 It is great. 176 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:22,978 Right. Dr. Marshall, you're gonna stop selling yourself short. 177 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,439 You're on the verge of major discovery. Now get up. 178 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:26,523 Whoa! Where are we going? 179 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,068 We're gonna go and test this little device in the field. 180 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,153 Are you crazy? I'm not prepared for a field test. 181 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,030 Look, we're not gonna make a big deal out of it. 182 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,199 It's just a routine expedition. 183 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,034 A routine expedition? 184 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,244 Purely routine. 185 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,678 Here. Here it is. This is where I found the fossil. 186 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,429 The Devil's Canyon Mystery Cave. 187 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,889 RICK: This dump is a portal? 188 00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:00,975 Well, just look at these readings! 189 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,102 We've just gotta get back in that cave. 190 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,396 RICK: No problem. The place is obviously abandoned. 191 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,231 Not exactly. 192 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,316 So what's your pleasure? 193 00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:10,818 I got Roman candles, bottle rockets, 194 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:12,945 twitter glitters, dancing butterflies. 195 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,698 This little bitch here, I call the Mexican vasectomy. 196 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,074 Yeah? 197 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,995 Okay, that's in bad taste. How about this? 198 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,707 This little travel mug I like to call "The Perfect Woman. " 199 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,793 Big old set of boobies, no head and a handle. 200 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:28,877 Mmm-mmm. 201 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,963 Look, we want to go in the cave, all right? 202 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,047 Okay, how about this? 203 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:35,301 Y'all spend $30 on crap, I'll give you a deluxe tour. 204 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:40,889 It all goes to a great cause. The Devil's Canyon Resort and Casino! 205 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,812 Wow. That's nice craft. 206 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,399 Seven thousand luxuriously appointed rooms. 207 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:54,320 Three casinos. One convention center. Ass-tons of parking. 208 00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,030 And when everything is complete, 209 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:59,867 I will turn the tip of this golden teepee into my personal lair, 210 00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:03,495 and I will take a mate and live the rest of my life with her up here. 211 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,331 And when we fight and she pisses me off, 212 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,832 I will banish her to this tip, 213 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,585 where she will be kept as a prisoner and a slave. 214 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:11,670 Y'all gonna buy anything? 215 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:12,838 Yeah. Fine. 216 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,761 Hey, Ern! Taking these guys to the cave. Watch the store. 217 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,391 Close your mouth while you're breathing, like we talked about. 218 00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,060 You're making everybody over here feel weird. 219 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,026 Prepare to meet your darkest fears 220 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,863 inside the depths of The Devil's Canyon Mystery Cave! 221 00:11:39,074 --> 00:11:42,409 Rule number one, keep your arms and legs inside the boat. 222 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:46,121 Rule number two, have a kick-ass, awesome time. 223 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:50,459 But be warned, you may get wet. 224 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,045 I'm sorry, "may"? Actually, I need to know. 225 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,713 This equipment cannot get wet. 226 00:11:54,798 --> 00:11:56,757 Not you. Mary Poppins. 227 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,763 Say that again, and I'll drown you. 228 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:03,847 Good to go. 229 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,935 Cave ride begins! 230 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,948 Caveologists say this old cave is 100 years old 231 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,492 and holds 1,000 mysteries. 232 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:27,830 Or is it 1,000 years old and 100 mysteries? 233 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:31,667 Well, that, my friends, is just one of the mysteries. 234 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:35,379 Say what you will, the man is a showman. 235 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,508 Without a doubt, this cave is most infamous 236 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,262 for the legend of the Devil's Canyon Lizard Man. 237 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:47,266 He's been seen around these parts since the Pilgrim times. 238 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:51,728 Snapping his claws, hissing, trying to eat people up, 239 00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:56,525 lurking about in the dark, dark shadows of this very cave. 240 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,907 But those are just legends. Aren't they? 241 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,829 Aren't they? 242 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:11,665 Are you asking us? 243 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,792 No, I'm not. Ernie! Aren't they? 244 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,669 Here it comes, Will. 245 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,756 Oh, God! The Lizard Man! 246 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,343 You're paying for that. 247 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,637 I most definitely am not. 248 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:28,807 You know, I'm sitting here trying to give you guys a really awesome adventure, 249 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,601 and you guys are giving me nothing in return. 250 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,312 I got the gloves on, the hat, the pageantry. 251 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,441 Holly, I'm getting a strong tachyon reading. 252 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,985 I think I can boost the hell out of the signal with a resonant wave. 253 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,028 Well, go for it. 254 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,988 Man, you guys don't even care. 255 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,908 God, I hope I get it! I hope I get it 256 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,036 No, no! There are no show tunes on this ride! 257 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,331 God, I hope I get it! I hope I get it 258 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,334 How many boys? How many girls? How many boys? How many girls? 259 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,712 Something's happening. Is this part of the ride? 260 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,174 No, Hoss, this ain't me. This is an earthquake. 261 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,052 Greatest earthquake ever known! 262 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,930 Marshall, I think you should turn it off! 263 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:11,850 Marshall, the meter! 264 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,060 Swim, Holly! 265 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,854 We're moving! 266 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,523 WILL: This isn't me! This isn't me! 267 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,358 RICK: Why are we moving so fast? 268 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,110 Do I look like I know what's going on? 269 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,409 What's that sound? 270 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,453 Is there a waterfall in here? 271 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,331 Hell, no, dude! This isn't even a real stream! 272 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,459 It's industrial runoff from the soap factory down the street! 273 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,589 RICK: What is that? What is that? What is that? 274 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:44,424 Oh, God! Oh, shit! 275 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:47,553 This is not a routine expedition! 276 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:51,223 WILL: Reverse! Reverse! Boat, reverse! 277 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:52,641 It's beautiful! 278 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,351 I gotta say, I did not see that coming. 279 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:40,689 Ernie, you bastard. That was way too fast. 280 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:44,067 Ernie! Too fast! 281 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:00,375 Marshall! 282 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,339 I think you should come and look at this! 283 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:12,054 Do you realize what this means? 284 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,890 RICK: Yes! It means 285 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,517 Matt Lauer can suck it! 286 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,149 Holly, are you rolling? Yeah. 287 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,359 WILL: That was a Viking ship! 288 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,235 And a Cessna! Shut up! Just shut up! 289 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,739 Okay, currently in our party, me, Dr. Rick Marshall, 290 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,449 doctoral candidate Holly Cantrell, 291 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,368 and some trashy trailer park reject 292 00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,244 who smells of malt liquor and feet. 293 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,330 I'm standing right here! I was right. Okay? 294 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,373 Holly, right here. 295 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,666 Just as I predicted, we have been... 296 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,834 We have fallen through a time portal 297 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:46,505 from our Earth to another dimension where past, present and future 298 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,340 are all mashed up together. 299 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,466 WILL: How the hell did this happen? 300 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:51,593 My tachyon amplifier, that's how it happened! 301 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,512 You mean that shitty boom box pumping show tunes? 302 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:54,596 Yes, it worked. 303 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,889 Well, where the hell is it? 304 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,308 Okay, minor setback. 305 00:16:58,393 --> 00:17:01,520 My tachyon amplifier, which undoubtedly will be the only 306 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,855 possible way for us to open a doorway home, 307 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:05,107 is nowhere to be seen. 308 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:06,191 What? 309 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,403 WILL: What the hell was that? 310 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,072 I have no idea, but let's go find out. 311 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,750 Advanced primates. RICK: Yeah. 312 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:25,794 They've got the posture of an Australopithecine, 313 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:26,878 but the sagittal crest suggests that... 314 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,046 No, no, no, shut up! 315 00:17:28,131 --> 00:17:29,548 I will not let you ruin this moment. 316 00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,718 I've waited my entire life to see the mighty Bigfoot. 317 00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,553 Hey, man, are you touching yourself? 318 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:35,637 Marshall, look! 319 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,640 Oh, my God. 320 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:42,477 Tool construction! Tool construction! 321 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,062 No, they're gonna kill him! 322 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,315 No! 323 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,985 Uh-oh! 324 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,699 Okay, you eggheads, you follow my lead. 325 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,701 I know just how to party with these guys. 326 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,495 You little monkey bastards! 327 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,039 Prepare to bow down and worship me! 328 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:09,212 For behold, ye troglodytes, I command the power of fire. 329 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,007 Will, that's not a good idea. 330 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,051 How do you like me now? You wanna disco dance with... 331 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,429 Ow! Son of a bitch! 332 00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,934 Well done. 333 00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:26,062 You've now just given murderous primitives the power of fire. 334 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:41,870 It's all right. 335 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:45,457 It's all right. Don't be frightened. 336 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,211 We're friends. 337 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,466 Friends. 338 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,759 Careful, Holly. 339 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,512 Come on. Come on. 340 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,766 Come on. There we go. 341 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,519 I spent three years at the Manchester Zoo primate house. 342 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,231 I'm recognizing a very primitive language. 343 00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:14,402 Now, me, Holly. 344 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:19,950 Holly. 345 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:21,243 Yes! Holly! 346 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:22,911 Horry. 347 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,913 Holly. Me, Holly. 348 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:29,167 You? 349 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,419 Me. 350 00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:33,547 Chaka. 351 00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:36,424 Chaka. Chaka! No. 352 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,427 Holly. Chaka. 353 00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:40,971 Nice work. 354 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:43,849 Yeah. Will. Will. 355 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:48,937 Good work. Good work, Holly. Let me take over from here. 356 00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:52,774 Greetings. Chaka! Chaka. 357 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,278 I'm Dr. Rick Marshall. 358 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:59,781 Dr. Rick Marshall. 359 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,783 Okay? 360 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,287 Let's take a look at that ankle. Does that sound good? 361 00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:11,042 Keep in mind, Chaka, although I'm a doctor, I'm not a licensed physician. 362 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,795 Okay? I'm just gonna take a little look. 363 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,632 How dare you? How dare you? I mean you no harm! 364 00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:19,217 I mean you no harm! Marshall! Marshall! Marshall! 365 00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:21,136 RICK: Don't you run from me, you little shit! 366 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,389 Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Now you're dead! 367 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,108 RICK: Damn you, Chaka. 368 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:36,735 Now, was that necessary? 369 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,907 Marshall, Marshall, wait, you'll scare him. 370 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:42,991 What was that? 371 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,576 Look, he was never in any danger, okay? 372 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:49,080 Chaka. Friend. Safety. Safety. Safety! 373 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:51,333 Holly, tell him. 374 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,294 Marshall! Marshall! 375 00:20:58,507 --> 00:20:59,758 Here... 376 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,644 Well, that's more like it. Holly, what did you tell him? 377 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:15,273 I think I told him that you're a great chief, and you're very powerful, 378 00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:18,026 and I think he's pledging his lifelong loyalty to you. 379 00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:21,363 That's hardly necessary, my little friend, 380 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,365 but I will honor your customs. 381 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:24,950 And you may serve me. 382 00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:31,206 In return, I will be a fair but very strict master. 383 00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:34,876 Okay. Off! Off! 384 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,631 What is wrong with you people? That sandpit swallowed us! 385 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:42,592 I mean, can you all please act like this doesn't happen every single day? 386 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,636 You're starting to make me feel really stupid. 387 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,305 RICK: Okay, okay, hold on. Let's gather ourselves. 388 00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:48,682 Take a deep breath in. 389 00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:52,894 Oh, my God! 390 00:22:01,195 --> 00:22:06,533 RICK: Fortunately, I've been in this exact situation three times before. 391 00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:08,952 WILL: When? When have you ever been in this situation before? 392 00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:11,454 RICK: I've never been in this situation before! 393 00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:12,664 I'm just trying to keep up morale. 394 00:22:15,793 --> 00:22:18,503 God, I sure hope that was a coyote. 395 00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:26,344 Good God! It's a feeding station! 396 00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:29,431 If anyone knows about meal presentation, it's me. 397 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,182 Oh, God! Oh, God! 398 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:33,059 Grab hands! Create some momentum. 399 00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:34,436 Let's swing over to that tree. 400 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:38,940 Extension. 401 00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,276 WILL: Okay. Reach. 402 00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,572 RICK: Good form, everyone! 403 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:48,450 Working in concert! 404 00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:50,952 Don't be afraid to point the toe. 405 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,123 One more. One more should do it. 406 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:11,973 Everybody move out! Chaka, your master commands you to... 407 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:16,311 Bad Chaka! Your loyalty is now in question! 408 00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,107 WILL: That was a dinosaur! 409 00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:23,485 RICK: T. Rex! Definitely in predator mode. 410 00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:26,071 WILL: Will you hurry up? You're slowing us down! 411 00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:27,697 Why are you wearing high heels? 412 00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:29,657 RICK: They're not high heels. They're my Florsheim zipper boots. 413 00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:32,285 Why are you wearing Florsheims on a field expedition? 414 00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:34,245 I told you I was not prepped to go into the field! 415 00:23:38,042 --> 00:23:39,417 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! We need a photo. 416 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:40,668 Nice field skills, Holly! 417 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,170 Will, stand over there. What? 418 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,339 This is proof I'm right, and I want photos. 419 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:45,632 Stand there. We need you for scale. 420 00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:46,758 Scale? 421 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,927 Marshall, do we need the red eye feature? 422 00:23:49,804 --> 00:23:50,887 Yes, his eyes do look red. 423 00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:52,931 Jesus Christ, just take the picture! Okay, just stand still! 424 00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:54,682 Stand still, please. Okay, ready. 425 00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:56,476 One, two, three! 426 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,853 Fantastic. Run! Run like hell! 427 00:24:01,816 --> 00:24:03,358 Where the hell's the monkey? 428 00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:11,282 Look! Chaka's waiting for us at the other end of the bridge! 429 00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:13,368 Good Chaka! Your master's pleased! 430 00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:18,832 Marshall, it really looks like he's trying to destroy the bridge. 431 00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:20,083 Chaka, wait! 432 00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,501 Master not pleased! 433 00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,138 It's okay. He can't cross. 434 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:35,390 He has terrible depth perception. 435 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,684 He thinks this chasm's a million miles long. 436 00:24:38,519 --> 00:24:41,729 He's not what you'd call an athlete, Mr. T. Rex. 437 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:46,276 See? He's walking away in utter helpless defeat. 438 00:24:47,695 --> 00:24:50,029 After all, his brain is the size of a walnut. 439 00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:52,282 Sure, his sense of smell may be acute, 440 00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:54,868 but eyesight, hearing, all of his higher functions 441 00:24:54,952 --> 00:24:57,996 completely compromised by that walnut-sized brainpan. 442 00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,206 I mean, forget about the Polish. 443 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:03,001 It's the T. Rexes who are the real dummies of the world. 444 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,794 In fact, Chaka, funny story... 445 00:25:10,176 --> 00:25:11,259 RICK: Frigging run! 446 00:25:13,804 --> 00:25:15,430 RICK: Follow the monkey! 447 00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,015 Cave! 448 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:32,739 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 449 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,617 He's looking at you, Marshall. 450 00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:37,577 No. No. He's watching you. 451 00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:39,120 He's looking at everyone. 452 00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,623 No, I'm certain he's looking at you. 453 00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:57,138 He is grumpy. 454 00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:01,142 I think that's what we should call him, Grumpy. 455 00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:02,977 Yeah, that's a cute name. 456 00:26:07,149 --> 00:26:08,274 Is he gone? 457 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:09,359 Yeah. 458 00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,028 Pussy. 459 00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:15,949 What a puss. 460 00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:21,996 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 461 00:26:23,457 --> 00:26:27,627 This'll work just fine. We'll call this base camp. 462 00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,295 No, no, no, no, no, no. 463 00:26:29,380 --> 00:26:32,757 We cannot stay here. Bad things happen in caves, folks. 464 00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:33,841 Watch your movies. 465 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,927 Guys, can we just please take a minute to absorb this? 466 00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:40,765 I mean, we must be the first people to ever set foot in this world. 467 00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:42,183 It's incredible! 468 00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:12,672 Oh, God, we're screwed. 469 00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,897 No, no. No. No. 470 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,153 Chaka, no! No. 471 00:27:35,738 --> 00:27:36,946 Go on. 472 00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,494 Okay, you know what? 473 00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,496 I don't want Chaka sleeping in the cave tonight. 474 00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:47,290 Whoa! Not cool, dude. 475 00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:49,834 No, it's a reasonable precaution, all right? 476 00:27:49,918 --> 00:27:51,336 He was just about to be executed, 477 00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:53,588 and I think he might have done something to deserve it. 478 00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:56,799 Hey, my man is right here. Obviously he has feelings, okay? 479 00:27:56,884 --> 00:27:58,009 RICK: He doesn't have feelings. 480 00:27:58,093 --> 00:27:59,177 Man, come on, look at him. 481 00:27:59,261 --> 00:28:00,970 He's adorable. He's a little cuddle machine. 482 00:28:01,055 --> 00:28:02,055 RICK: What? 483 00:28:02,139 --> 00:28:04,223 WILL: Yeah, the least you could do is let him defend himself. 484 00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:07,352 I don't speak monkey anyhow. Do you? 485 00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:09,228 No, I don't. I didn't think so. 486 00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,646 Here, let me try. 487 00:28:11,857 --> 00:28:13,066 Chaka? 488 00:28:21,909 --> 00:28:23,868 He says he's a prince amongst his people. 489 00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:24,952 Right. 490 00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:33,586 The victim of a treacherous plot to steal his throne. 491 00:28:35,255 --> 00:28:38,716 And the only thing he's ever guilty of was... 492 00:28:39,802 --> 00:28:40,843 Is love. 493 00:28:40,928 --> 00:28:41,886 Aw! 494 00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,137 Oh, brother. Give me a break. 495 00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:48,059 And he's been treated far too harshly for the very simple crime of... 496 00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,479 Pooping in the village well. 497 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:53,815 That's why you're not sleeping in the cave. 498 00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:58,986 I can't tell anymore. 499 00:29:04,326 --> 00:29:06,828 Hey, mister, fuck you. 500 00:29:10,624 --> 00:29:12,458 Hold on, hold on. Where you going with that? 501 00:29:12,543 --> 00:29:14,293 I'm just gonna block the first point of egress here 502 00:29:14,378 --> 00:29:15,378 so that we're not vulnerable. 503 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:18,714 No, no. Bless your heart. 504 00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:21,467 Classic tenderfoot mistake. 505 00:29:21,552 --> 00:29:24,595 Don't beat yourself up over it. Here's the thing. 506 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,598 Never put anything near the mouth of the cave to draw attention to us. 507 00:29:27,683 --> 00:29:29,058 Did you not just see that we drew the attention 508 00:29:29,143 --> 00:29:31,561 of a highly intelligent psycho dinosaur? 509 00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:33,521 Look, I think the Ph. D. after my name 510 00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:36,107 means I know a little something about dinosaurs. 511 00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:38,985 Dinosaurs are creatures of brute instinct. 512 00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:41,946 Like I've said before, it's got a brain the size of a walnut. 513 00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:44,323 Okay? You got me? A walnut. 514 00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:45,825 Now think about... 515 00:29:46,994 --> 00:29:48,703 What's that? What's that? 516 00:30:12,436 --> 00:30:14,687 Sweet Gregor Mendel. 517 00:30:14,938 --> 00:30:16,647 What is it? 518 00:30:18,692 --> 00:30:20,318 It's a walnut. 519 00:30:27,451 --> 00:30:30,369 Well, obviously this is between you and him. 520 00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,959 Day two. 0600, Zulu Time. 521 00:30:38,128 --> 00:30:41,339 Did not sleep last night at all, not one bit. 522 00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:46,093 Still no sign of the tachyon amplifier, our only way home. 523 00:30:47,596 --> 00:30:50,765 Field rations are running dangerously low. 524 00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:55,520 Thusly, I've made the determination that, if need be, 525 00:30:55,604 --> 00:31:00,608 if faced with starvation, we will cook and eat Chaka. 526 00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:04,695 I've been thinking about this a lot, actually. 527 00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:08,616 If Chaka meat were the secret ingredient on Iron Chef, 528 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,077 I'm sure Bobby Flay would probably serve it 529 00:31:11,161 --> 00:31:15,957 with roasted red peppers and a dash of cumin and a braised polenta. 530 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:18,584 It wouldn't be an easy thing to do, 531 00:31:18,669 --> 00:31:21,045 but if you slow roast the little guy, 532 00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:24,048 I'm sure that Chaka meat would just fall right off the bone. 533 00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:27,927 Food train coming through! 534 00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:30,221 Fantastic! I'm absolutely starving. 535 00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:32,473 And fresh fruit. It's like morning at Wimbledon. 536 00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:36,811 Hold on a second there, Holly. I don't recognize that genus of succulent. 537 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:39,855 Perhaps the native inhabitant can help us. 538 00:31:40,857 --> 00:31:43,943 Chaka. Rick Marshall. Chaka. 539 00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:47,029 Are they safe? To eat? 540 00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:49,115 Eat? Eat? 541 00:31:52,452 --> 00:31:53,661 Eat. Marashalla. 542 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:55,413 Eat. Eat. 543 00:31:55,497 --> 00:31:59,458 Thank you, Chaka. Thank you so much for listening to me. 544 00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:03,129 Sorry for doubting you, my little friend. 545 00:32:03,297 --> 00:32:06,382 Has a pungent flavor. Smells good. Very meaty... 546 00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:11,262 Jesus, Chaka! What the hell? 547 00:32:17,019 --> 00:32:19,437 Friends? 548 00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:25,026 Well. Yes, technically, I guess. 549 00:32:25,569 --> 00:32:27,612 However, I am your master. 550 00:32:27,946 --> 00:32:31,282 Okay? We have entered into a verbal contract. 551 00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:33,117 You need to understand that. Okay? 552 00:32:37,456 --> 00:32:40,750 Holly! Quick! To the cave mouth. Sentry positions. 553 00:32:49,259 --> 00:32:52,470 Looks like a plasma discharge. Or maybe beta rays! 554 00:32:53,722 --> 00:32:57,183 Marshall? Marshall! Marshall! 555 00:32:58,894 --> 00:33:02,855 Help me, please. 556 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,899 I will. 557 00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:08,486 Marshall! Marshall, where are you going? 558 00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:10,905 Someone or something knows we're here! 559 00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:12,490 It's in my head, calling to me! 560 00:33:12,574 --> 00:33:14,075 Step back, Holly! 561 00:33:14,368 --> 00:33:15,618 What are you doing? 562 00:33:15,702 --> 00:33:17,953 I've seen this before. He's got the jungle madness. 563 00:33:18,038 --> 00:33:20,331 We gotta put him down while he still has some dignity left. 564 00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:21,499 Chaka, let's roll! 565 00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:22,625 What? 566 00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:25,961 Friends! Friends! 567 00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:33,094 You see? This is the place! 568 00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:35,930 A beacon. 569 00:33:36,014 --> 00:33:39,558 A transmitter, tapping directly into my prefrontal lobe. 570 00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:44,939 What the hell? Stop it! 571 00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:46,524 Well, I'll be. 572 00:33:46,608 --> 00:33:48,317 I guess you weren't crazy. 573 00:33:48,402 --> 00:33:51,320 Okay. I'm man enough to say that's my bad. 574 00:33:51,405 --> 00:33:54,824 Wow. That's incredible. The architecture. 575 00:33:54,908 --> 00:33:57,535 It's almost like the Olmec culture of Mesoamerica. 576 00:33:57,619 --> 00:33:59,829 Reminds me of the Prudential building. 577 00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:01,622 No! 578 00:34:08,130 --> 00:34:10,923 WILL: I'll bet somebody's growing weed in here. 579 00:34:16,471 --> 00:34:19,098 RICK: You feel that? That ambient energy? 580 00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:20,891 Just like at Devil's Canyon. 581 00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:22,017 Yep. 582 00:34:22,102 --> 00:34:23,728 Tachyon radiation. 583 00:34:23,812 --> 00:34:26,272 Marshall, the meter can't be far. 584 00:34:33,238 --> 00:34:34,488 WILL: Holy shit. 585 00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:37,908 Finally, something cool, huh? What, no reaction? 586 00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:40,453 You guys have seen that before, too, I take it, huh? 587 00:34:40,537 --> 00:34:41,996 In your lab. 588 00:34:43,039 --> 00:34:44,582 What's this thing? 589 00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:47,918 Hey, maybe this is where our ancient ancestors hosted the Latin Grammys. 590 00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:51,005 Just picture Santana hauling this sucker home. 591 00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:54,467 And it vibrates! 592 00:34:54,551 --> 00:34:56,343 I wouldn't touch that, all right? 593 00:34:57,095 --> 00:35:00,598 Do you believe in life after love? 594 00:35:00,682 --> 00:35:02,933 That is so dumb and childish. 595 00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:07,021 Do you believe in life after love? 596 00:35:07,898 --> 00:35:11,400 Will, will you please be quiet? Dr. Marshall needs silence. 597 00:35:11,526 --> 00:35:14,653 I can feel something inside me say 598 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:19,200 I really don't think you're strong enough, oh! 599 00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:21,786 Wow! Yeah. 600 00:35:21,870 --> 00:35:22,870 I can really feel it in my forearms. 601 00:35:22,996 --> 00:35:24,455 Yeah, usually you have to pay for something like this. 602 00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:25,831 Oh, gosh. 603 00:35:26,416 --> 00:35:28,125 Holly, you should sit on this. 604 00:35:28,210 --> 00:35:29,210 No! No! 605 00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:33,756 Hmm? What? 606 00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:38,219 What is it, Chaka? What did you say? 607 00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:40,638 What is he saying? 608 00:35:40,722 --> 00:35:42,306 I don't know. It's the same thing over and over. 609 00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:45,851 Chorizo tacos. 610 00:35:45,936 --> 00:35:47,645 Are you saying "chorizo tacos"? 611 00:35:47,729 --> 00:35:50,105 Don't play around, because I am super hungry. 612 00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,232 No. 613 00:35:53,235 --> 00:35:54,693 What the hell does that mean? 614 00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:59,406 Well, I'm afraid we'll never know. 615 00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:09,500 Oh! Okay. 616 00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:15,172 Oh, shit, it's not chorizo tacos. 617 00:36:15,632 --> 00:36:19,426 No immediate danger. Cold-blooded and slow. 618 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,763 I repeat, no immediate danger. 619 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:23,848 Will you stop that? 620 00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:25,766 Please! You are freaking me out! 621 00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:32,648 WILL: Oh, gosh. They're everywhere. 622 00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:36,652 They're just like zombies. That's how zombies get you. Volume! 623 00:36:37,279 --> 00:36:38,445 We're all gonna die. 624 00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,697 Like hell. 625 00:36:40,323 --> 00:36:42,867 I'm gonna take at least one of these bastards with me, 626 00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:44,952 even if he has to choke to death on my skull! 627 00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:46,245 Oh! 628 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,581 What, do you want some, too, do you? 629 00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:50,875 WILL: What are you guys doing? 630 00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:52,251 One second. 631 00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:04,471 What in the hell? 632 00:37:07,726 --> 00:37:08,767 Get in! 633 00:37:10,937 --> 00:37:11,896 Oh, God. 634 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:13,480 Wait, stand down, Holly. 635 00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:15,232 All right. 636 00:37:15,317 --> 00:37:16,859 Hang on. Yeah. 637 00:37:16,943 --> 00:37:18,235 Hang on, I think we're safe! 638 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,487 They don't seem to be able to make it through the entrance. 639 00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:23,240 Thank God for that. That one keeps peering into my soul. 640 00:37:23,325 --> 00:37:25,075 Well, this is just fantastic. 641 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,827 We're gonna just stand in here and suffocate 642 00:37:26,912 --> 00:37:31,957 in this tiny, little huge thingie? 643 00:37:32,959 --> 00:37:34,543 RICK: Wow, that is an efficient use of space. 644 00:37:34,628 --> 00:37:36,670 WILL: It's like Snoopy's doghouse. 645 00:37:38,340 --> 00:37:42,092 Look, there's a gold one. Let's stomp its head in. 646 00:37:42,844 --> 00:37:44,470 Do not fear me. 647 00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:48,057 I am Enik the Altrusian. 648 00:37:49,100 --> 00:37:52,394 Thank Vindok you've come to my aid, Rick Marshall. 649 00:37:52,479 --> 00:37:54,480 You know me? Of course. 650 00:37:55,023 --> 00:37:56,774 Even in the farthest reaches of the universe, 651 00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:59,068 we have seen your Matt Lauer video. 652 00:37:59,819 --> 00:38:02,696 I am a prisoner in this land of the lost. 653 00:38:03,073 --> 00:38:05,324 Only you can help me escape. 654 00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:08,702 The fate of the universe depends on you. 655 00:38:09,371 --> 00:38:12,831 Well. That's very flattering, Enik, 656 00:38:14,084 --> 00:38:15,793 but I think you've found the wrong guy. I... 657 00:38:15,877 --> 00:38:16,961 No, Rick Marshall. 658 00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:20,923 I have summoned you here specifically to help me stop an evil madman 659 00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:26,220 who has already conquered my world and now plans to conquer yours. 660 00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:30,265 His name is the Zarn. 661 00:38:30,350 --> 00:38:34,228 I am the Zarn! Heed my warning or be destroyed! 662 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:37,773 The Zarn became obsessed with using the power of these crystals 663 00:38:37,899 --> 00:38:39,733 to conquer the universe. 664 00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:44,029 If he is not stopped, he will open a doorway to your world 665 00:38:44,114 --> 00:38:49,159 and lead his army of Sleestak on a rampage across time and space. 666 00:38:50,161 --> 00:38:51,912 He must be stopped. 667 00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:54,498 Enik, buddy. 668 00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:58,002 I'm a scientist. You're a scientist. 669 00:38:58,086 --> 00:39:01,171 I think together you and I can figure this out. Now... 670 00:39:01,715 --> 00:39:03,090 You mustn't touch the crystals! 671 00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:04,174 Okay! 672 00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:05,968 The wrong manipulation of the crystals 673 00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:09,179 could turn time and space inside out. 674 00:39:09,931 --> 00:39:11,015 What do you need from us? 675 00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:15,102 The Zarn lacks only one thing to enact his evil plan. 676 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:20,107 A device to amplify tachyons and unleash the full power of the crystals. 677 00:39:20,191 --> 00:39:23,569 Well, Marshall's created a device that isolates tachyon interference. 678 00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:24,903 Yeah, I did that. 679 00:39:24,988 --> 00:39:26,238 Of course. 680 00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:30,826 With tachyon particles focused along the proper temporal vector 681 00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:32,661 a stable passageway can be opened... Opened 682 00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,580 to any point in the space... ...to any point in the space... 683 00:39:34,664 --> 00:39:36,040 ...time continuum! ...time continuum! 684 00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:38,834 You and I are so smart! 685 00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:42,546 Rick Marshall, I knew instantly you could help me. 686 00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:44,048 Thank you. 687 00:39:44,132 --> 00:39:46,884 You are a truly advanced intellect. 688 00:39:46,968 --> 00:39:49,720 I don't know how you manage amongst these others. 689 00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:52,139 I don't know how I do, either. I really don't! 690 00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:53,348 Excuse me! 691 00:39:53,433 --> 00:39:55,642 You have this tachyon amplifier? 692 00:39:56,269 --> 00:39:58,687 I lost it on the way, and I don't know where. 693 00:39:58,772 --> 00:40:00,064 It could be lost in time. On the contrary. 694 00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:02,399 I detect it nearby. It... 695 00:40:02,484 --> 00:40:06,236 Strange. I cannot precisely pinpoint its location. 696 00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:08,405 It moves. 697 00:40:09,157 --> 00:40:10,365 Leave it to us. 698 00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:12,076 If it's out there, we'll find it. 699 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,119 Not so fast, amigo. 700 00:40:14,204 --> 00:40:17,873 Little rule I live by, "Never trust a dude in a tunic. " 701 00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:19,583 You live by that rule? 702 00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,293 Yes. It's never led me astray. 703 00:40:21,377 --> 00:40:23,796 All right, come on. Enik, are you well enough to travel? 704 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:28,592 No. My place is here in the pylon. I must protect the crystals. 705 00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:31,762 If you wish to return home, these crystals are the doorway. 706 00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:36,183 Your device is the key. Find it before the Zarn does. 707 00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:41,814 Bring it to me and rescue us all. Rescue the universe! 708 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,778 All right, everyone, gather around! 709 00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:49,446 Let's go! Chop-chop! 710 00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:50,739 Hustle up. 711 00:40:50,824 --> 00:40:52,324 Marshall, did you just make that? 712 00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:56,078 Yeah. Yeah, I'm a bit of a miniatures enthusiast. 713 00:40:56,704 --> 00:40:58,080 It's very impressive. 714 00:40:58,164 --> 00:40:59,164 Thank you. 715 00:40:59,249 --> 00:41:02,042 Yeah, well, I see some obvious scaling issues, but... 716 00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:03,710 I think it's pretty damn good. 717 00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:07,047 All right, we are here. 718 00:41:07,132 --> 00:41:09,591 As you can see, desert, forest. 719 00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:12,136 What's this look like? 720 00:41:12,220 --> 00:41:13,220 It's the cave. 721 00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:14,513 That's the cave. That's where we're living. 722 00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:16,223 Standard volcano. Okay? 723 00:41:17,225 --> 00:41:21,145 Now, I will tether Will to this hot air balloon right here. 724 00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:24,565 Okay? And it will be fitted with a crude tachyon reflector-array 725 00:41:24,649 --> 00:41:26,942 that I fashioned out of a thermal blanket and a cell phone charger. 726 00:41:27,026 --> 00:41:28,777 I don't remember ever volunteering for that. 727 00:41:28,862 --> 00:41:31,572 Holly, you and I will follow Will's directions 728 00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:34,491 as he searches for the telltale ping of the missing 729 00:41:34,576 --> 00:41:37,661 and still presumably operational tachyon meter. 730 00:41:40,039 --> 00:41:41,373 Oh, God, he's close. 731 00:41:41,457 --> 00:41:42,749 I've taken care of that. 732 00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:44,960 During the course of my professional career, 733 00:41:45,044 --> 00:41:48,589 I've done extensive research with reptiles and various birds of prey, 734 00:41:48,673 --> 00:41:49,756 of which dinosaurs are. 735 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,008 Well, that's disputable. 736 00:41:51,092 --> 00:41:52,634 Please be quiet. 737 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,678 They have a very acute sense of smell. 738 00:41:54,762 --> 00:41:56,471 And now while I've gathered this 739 00:41:56,556 --> 00:41:59,391 strictly for genetic research to be used upon our return, 740 00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:04,104 I think it would prove wise to use this now. Hadrosaur urine. 741 00:42:04,647 --> 00:42:05,647 We are going to cover our... 742 00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,191 Wait. What is that? 743 00:42:07,901 --> 00:42:10,027 Hadrosaur urine. 744 00:42:10,111 --> 00:42:11,111 How'd you get that? 745 00:42:11,821 --> 00:42:12,905 Well, while you were sleeping, 746 00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:15,240 I'm out gathering research. Okay? 747 00:42:15,325 --> 00:42:17,868 This was to be used for genetic engineering, 748 00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:21,038 and I was going to write a report on kidney function, 749 00:42:21,122 --> 00:42:24,708 but now it'll just be camouflage. We'll all blend in. Okay? 750 00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:26,043 So we will cover ourselves... 751 00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,086 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 752 00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:29,171 I'm just trying to figure this out. 753 00:42:29,255 --> 00:42:30,339 Oh, my God! 754 00:42:30,423 --> 00:42:33,008 So you've been gathering urine. 755 00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:35,886 Yes. What's the problem? 756 00:42:35,970 --> 00:42:39,681 That means that you stood under a dino dong with a bucket. 757 00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:47,731 If you want to be technical and reduce it to its basest element, yes, I was. 758 00:42:49,192 --> 00:42:51,318 How'd that work out for you? 759 00:42:51,444 --> 00:42:52,736 Are you honestly asking me? 760 00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,071 Yeah. 761 00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:59,576 It's very peaceful. It's a little bit like fly fishing. 762 00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:03,330 Just out there in the night air. Still. Calm. 763 00:43:04,165 --> 00:43:06,708 And then, zing! You get a big catch. 764 00:43:07,502 --> 00:43:10,295 Okay. So we'll cover our bodies in urine, 765 00:43:10,380 --> 00:43:13,590 and then we'll be virtually undetectable to all dinosaurs. 766 00:43:15,093 --> 00:43:18,971 All right. Here they come. Should have thought of this a long time ago. 767 00:43:22,642 --> 00:43:24,184 Whoo! 768 00:43:24,269 --> 00:43:25,644 That's refreshing! 769 00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:28,438 Make sure to ingest some. Get that in the bloodstream. 770 00:43:35,238 --> 00:43:36,822 Don't do that. 771 00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:40,659 Okay, who's next? 772 00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:45,038 Really. It's not that bad. 773 00:43:46,457 --> 00:43:47,958 Check that. 774 00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:51,878 Just starting to burn in my eyes a little bit. Did not plan for that. 775 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,132 It gets up in the nostrils, too. You do not want that. 776 00:43:57,885 --> 00:44:00,470 Wow. That's early morning stuff. 777 00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:03,473 That is strong! 778 00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,019 Maybe a second splash will reduce some of the effects. 779 00:44:08,855 --> 00:44:10,897 Immediately made it worse. 780 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,443 Where's my laser pointer? Never mind. 781 00:44:14,527 --> 00:44:17,070 We will probably have to be doing... 782 00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:21,158 Ow! 783 00:44:23,578 --> 00:44:24,953 Who's that? 784 00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:32,419 Maybe we should just follow him. Nice model, though. 785 00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:36,757 Yeah, fine, let's forget my model and let's follow the monkey. 786 00:44:43,765 --> 00:44:45,349 RICK: Shut up, Chaka! 787 00:44:46,934 --> 00:44:48,602 Are we there yet? 788 00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:50,854 You find this funny, Chaka? 789 00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:54,191 This is the damn Bataan Death March out here. 790 00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:03,033 My God! 791 00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:04,826 RICK: Absolutely incredible. 792 00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,663 This must be the main entry point into this world. 793 00:45:10,124 --> 00:45:12,667 RICK: It's like a cosmic lost and found. 794 00:45:13,461 --> 00:45:15,379 WILL: Wow, look at all this kick-ass shit to steal. 795 00:45:15,463 --> 00:45:17,255 This is like the world's greatest mall. 796 00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:18,882 Yeah, Will, it's just like a mall. 797 00:45:18,966 --> 00:45:21,134 The only thing it's missing is a food court! 798 00:45:21,219 --> 00:45:23,887 Compsognathus! Look how they move! 799 00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:26,932 Wow. Where are all these chupacabras going to? 800 00:45:27,016 --> 00:45:28,892 I'll tell you where they're going to. 801 00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:31,728 Our raft. The tachyon meter can't be far. 802 00:45:31,813 --> 00:45:34,981 Our raft? That's my raft! Get away from there! 803 00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:36,316 WILL: Stop pecking on my raft! 804 00:45:38,444 --> 00:45:39,403 There's your food court. 805 00:45:42,365 --> 00:45:43,365 Ice cream. 806 00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:44,616 Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? 807 00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:46,493 What? I'm gonna go pony up and get Chaka a cone. 808 00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:47,911 It's his first. No, there's a reason 809 00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:50,997 why those dinosaurs hang out there. They know. 810 00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:52,416 They know what? 811 00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:53,834 It's feeding time. 812 00:46:24,866 --> 00:46:26,241 Whoa! Whoa! 813 00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:34,458 An Allosaurus. Female. 814 00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:35,542 Yeah. 815 00:46:37,837 --> 00:46:39,296 RICK: We're in luck. 816 00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:41,882 These large predators are extremely territorial. 817 00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:44,468 Virtually nothing will distract them from each other. 818 00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:50,974 Crap balls! 819 00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:52,100 What do you know? 820 00:46:52,185 --> 00:46:55,604 This is one of those situations where dumping piss on your head's a bad idea. 821 00:46:55,688 --> 00:46:56,771 Run! 822 00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:01,318 Lead, Chaka! 823 00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:04,029 Lead your master to safety! 824 00:47:05,907 --> 00:47:07,741 Hey! Chaka! 825 00:47:08,117 --> 00:47:09,659 Chaka, no! 826 00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:12,287 Why? You're a little asshole, Chaka! 827 00:47:14,999 --> 00:47:17,667 Spread out! It'll confuse him! 828 00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:19,669 Try running in a serpentine pattern! 829 00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:22,631 He's incapable of rapid course correction! 830 00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,217 Serpentine, everyone! 831 00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:28,637 Serpentine! Serpentine! Serpentine! 832 00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:32,807 Serpentine! Serpentine! 833 00:47:33,226 --> 00:47:34,643 Serpentine! 834 00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:37,187 Son of a tit! 835 00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:40,607 Hey, Marshall, you ever get tired of being wrong? 836 00:47:41,442 --> 00:47:44,444 I do. I really do. Bone tired. 837 00:47:46,113 --> 00:47:47,989 Get on your horse, Rick Marshall. 838 00:47:51,786 --> 00:47:53,203 They're working as a pair. 839 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:57,082 Fascinating but terrifying. 840 00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:21,565 No! 841 00:48:21,649 --> 00:48:22,983 Marshall! 842 00:48:23,401 --> 00:48:26,152 RICK: Still here! I hope you're taping this! 843 00:48:26,529 --> 00:48:27,904 I got it! 844 00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:55,682 I don't want to... I don't want to die in a Hummer! 845 00:49:07,361 --> 00:49:08,653 It's a massacre. 846 00:49:11,574 --> 00:49:12,866 Quiet! 847 00:49:23,336 --> 00:49:24,502 Gross. 848 00:49:32,553 --> 00:49:34,220 RICK: Set the catapult! 849 00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:36,348 What? 850 00:49:36,432 --> 00:49:38,183 Set the catapult! 851 00:49:39,101 --> 00:49:40,226 What? 852 00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:42,395 Set the F-ing catapult! 853 00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:43,813 This thing? 854 00:49:43,898 --> 00:49:45,482 RICK: Catapult, now! 855 00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:47,442 No, no, no, no! Take her that way! 856 00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:48,943 Go that way! 857 00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:50,362 Just do it! 858 00:49:50,446 --> 00:49:51,488 Come on. 859 00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:52,989 How the hell do you set a catapult? 860 00:49:53,074 --> 00:49:54,949 I don't know. Just turn it. 861 00:49:55,701 --> 00:49:58,745 One! Two! 862 00:49:59,455 --> 00:50:00,664 Three! 863 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:06,711 Crank that thing! 864 00:50:08,923 --> 00:50:10,590 Oh, God. Oh, God. 865 00:50:10,883 --> 00:50:12,592 Crank that mother! 866 00:50:12,802 --> 00:50:14,511 I'm coming in hot! 867 00:50:18,099 --> 00:50:19,516 Keep going! 868 00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:21,726 Put your backs into it. 869 00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:24,270 Package has arrived. 870 00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:25,689 What's the package? 871 00:50:25,773 --> 00:50:27,482 It's a canister of refrigerant. 872 00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:29,609 Hit it now! 873 00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:46,042 I did not expect that. 874 00:51:01,475 --> 00:51:03,184 Gay show tunes! 875 00:51:03,269 --> 00:51:06,396 Cassie. Bebe. Tachyon meter! 876 00:51:06,689 --> 00:51:08,189 Still it isn't over 877 00:51:08,274 --> 00:51:10,567 We did it! We're saved! 878 00:51:11,485 --> 00:51:13,111 Look at all the people! 879 00:51:23,748 --> 00:51:25,206 That blows. 880 00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:28,626 That blows. 881 00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:46,561 Marshall? 882 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:50,106 What are you doing? 883 00:51:51,609 --> 00:51:53,193 I'm giving up. 884 00:51:53,819 --> 00:51:55,445 And it feels good. 885 00:51:55,529 --> 00:52:00,450 But what about finding a way home and validation for your life's work? 886 00:52:00,534 --> 00:52:02,952 You're just gonna give all that up just to lie here? 887 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:04,454 No, of course not. 888 00:52:04,914 --> 00:52:07,499 Lying here is just Phase One of the plan. 889 00:52:07,583 --> 00:52:09,709 It's Phase Two that gets me really excited. 890 00:52:10,211 --> 00:52:13,630 It involves adjusting the angle of my recline 891 00:52:13,714 --> 00:52:16,382 and putting this hand halfway down my pants. 892 00:52:16,467 --> 00:52:18,676 Deceptively simple, yet elegant. 893 00:52:18,761 --> 00:52:23,139 Yep. I tried, I failed, and you know what? 894 00:52:23,224 --> 00:52:25,225 Once again, it's my own damned vault. 895 00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:26,309 You mean "fault. " 896 00:52:26,393 --> 00:52:30,563 No, I actually mean "vault. " It's from a poster with a pole vaulter on it. 897 00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:32,148 That's really freaking stupid, man. 898 00:52:32,233 --> 00:52:33,900 You know, actually, I can't even believe I'm hearing this. 899 00:52:33,984 --> 00:52:35,693 Any scientist in his right mind would give his... 900 00:52:35,778 --> 00:52:37,987 Initiating Phase Two. 901 00:52:42,034 --> 00:52:45,620 Do you know how I first heard about you? As a joke. 902 00:52:45,704 --> 00:52:48,039 First year at Cambridge, we used to e-mail your little appearance 903 00:52:48,123 --> 00:52:50,166 with Matt Lauer around for a laugh. 904 00:52:50,251 --> 00:52:52,001 I mean, as YouTube Hall of Fame moments goes, 905 00:52:52,086 --> 00:52:54,128 it was Lauer versus Marshall, 906 00:52:54,213 --> 00:52:57,507 and then that monkey pissing in his own face. In that order. 907 00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:00,802 But I wasn't laughing, because I was fascinated. 908 00:53:00,886 --> 00:53:03,137 I saw a man who was willing to swim dangerous waters 909 00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:04,764 for the sake of his need to know. 910 00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:06,683 I took that to heart, Dr. Marshall. 911 00:53:06,767 --> 00:53:08,059 I committed myself to your theories, 912 00:53:08,143 --> 00:53:10,144 and then I got tossed out of Cambridge for it. 913 00:53:10,771 --> 00:53:13,147 For my theories, you threw your future away? 914 00:53:13,232 --> 00:53:15,775 Yeah, that's what everyone told me. 915 00:53:16,277 --> 00:53:18,987 But I didn't believe it, not till now. 916 00:53:25,619 --> 00:53:27,954 Have you seen this monkey video? 917 00:53:29,623 --> 00:53:31,791 Yeah, I've seen it about a dozen times. 918 00:53:32,793 --> 00:53:35,420 God bless the Internet. Come on, Chaka. 919 00:53:35,504 --> 00:53:37,297 Let's work on our mission statement. 920 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:38,590 Okay. 921 00:53:52,897 --> 00:53:54,439 How's it going? 922 00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:57,901 What's wrong, little guy? You okay? 923 00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:00,862 Lady troubles? 924 00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:02,196 Yeah. 925 00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:04,407 Yeah, tell me about it. 926 00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,159 This obviously stays between me and you, 927 00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:09,245 but I'm coming up on a six-year dry spell. 928 00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:11,789 Yeah. Yeah. 929 00:54:20,341 --> 00:54:23,760 He says that he misses his tribe. It's a beautiful existence. 930 00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:27,597 They're carefree and nomadic, and they live where the food is. 931 00:54:27,681 --> 00:54:28,848 Just like me. 932 00:54:28,933 --> 00:54:32,060 I moved tres times just to be closer to a Ruby Tuesday's. 933 00:54:32,144 --> 00:54:33,353 Yeah. Continue. 934 00:54:35,981 --> 00:54:37,357 Their women wait on the men, 935 00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:39,901 serving all their needs. 936 00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:42,153 I'm liking this. Continue. 937 00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:46,157 Though they're ugly, 938 00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:49,160 they make up for it with nice personalities. 939 00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:55,291 He says as prince of his tribe, 940 00:54:55,376 --> 00:54:59,420 he personally is served by a harem of 7,000 women. 941 00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:02,048 Wow. Not bad, little dude. 942 00:55:03,801 --> 00:55:06,302 Yeah, and they bring him all the apples he can... 943 00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:08,012 Oh! Yeah. 944 00:55:08,097 --> 00:55:10,515 Yeah, you get the idea. I'm not translating that. 945 00:55:28,242 --> 00:55:31,369 Any room around that fire for a jerk like me? 946 00:55:31,704 --> 00:55:33,621 I thought you gave up. 947 00:55:33,956 --> 00:55:36,791 I did. I gave up on giving up. 948 00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:42,046 Sat out there for a long time, 949 00:55:42,423 --> 00:55:44,882 just me, my shame, 950 00:55:45,509 --> 00:55:47,051 and this little four-string. 951 00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:50,388 Then I had a change of heart. 952 00:55:51,515 --> 00:55:55,018 I tried too long and hard to think of something to say to you guys, 953 00:55:55,102 --> 00:55:58,521 and, well, I realized there wasn't anything to say. 954 00:55:58,605 --> 00:56:03,109 But maybe, just maybe, there's something I could sing. 955 00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:04,277 No, it's all right. It... 956 00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:07,113 Marshall, Will and Holly 957 00:56:07,740 --> 00:56:10,950 On a routine expedition 958 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:16,205 Met the greatest earthquake ever known 959 00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:19,751 That's all I got. Yeah, that was fine. 960 00:56:19,835 --> 00:56:21,210 Yeah, apology accepted, dude. That's... 961 00:56:21,295 --> 00:56:23,880 Thanks. You guys are being so generous. 962 00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:26,049 I really appreciate it. I think the healing has begun. 963 00:56:26,133 --> 00:56:31,471 Met the greatest earthquake ever known 964 00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:39,979 High on the rapids, it struck their tiny raft... 965 00:56:41,231 --> 00:56:42,398 That's good. 966 00:56:42,483 --> 00:56:44,817 And plunged them down... 967 00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,362 I'm so tired. 968 00:56:48,655 --> 00:56:51,491 A thousand feet below... 969 00:56:52,159 --> 00:56:55,661 Well, I'm feeling weak. Really bushwhacked. 970 00:56:56,789 --> 00:56:58,039 Anyway, here's... Here's how I end it. 971 00:56:58,123 --> 00:57:00,249 A little arpeggio, nothing fancy. 972 00:57:02,878 --> 00:57:04,796 I'm really kind of sleepy. 973 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:06,714 To the land... 974 00:57:08,175 --> 00:57:10,676 Land of the... 975 00:57:14,223 --> 00:57:17,975 I'm so... I'm so tired. So... 976 00:57:27,569 --> 00:57:29,153 What happened? 977 00:57:29,947 --> 00:57:32,865 You had a bug on you, but it's gone now. 978 00:57:33,909 --> 00:57:35,201 Okay. 979 00:57:59,226 --> 00:58:02,728 All right, everyone, rise and shine. 980 00:58:03,564 --> 00:58:05,940 Listen up. It's a new day. 981 00:58:06,817 --> 00:58:08,734 Yes, we've had a setback. 982 00:58:09,236 --> 00:58:12,655 Yes, it is tempting to stay in this world and die, 983 00:58:13,532 --> 00:58:16,784 but that's not how the new Marshall rolls. You hear me? 984 00:58:16,869 --> 00:58:18,744 Not by a damn sight. 985 00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:23,166 This isn't "hands down the pants" Marshall. All right? 986 00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:26,836 This isn't "gorging on two pints of Ben & Jerry's and a whole spiral-cut ham 987 00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:30,381 "while watching not one but two Mama's Family's Reunions" Marshall. 988 00:58:30,465 --> 00:58:33,092 Uh-uh! He's gone. 989 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:36,512 Here's the deal. Enik's counting on us. 990 00:58:36,597 --> 00:58:38,097 The whole world's counting on us. 991 00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:39,974 If we have any hope of returning home, 992 00:58:40,058 --> 00:58:43,311 we need to take back that tachyon meter, and take it back hard. 993 00:58:43,395 --> 00:58:47,940 That means climbing, hours of arduous climbing up sheer cliffs. 994 00:58:48,025 --> 00:58:51,360 Not tomorrow, not in a few hours, but right now. 995 00:58:51,445 --> 00:58:53,237 Understood? Yep. 996 00:58:53,322 --> 00:58:54,655 Understood, Will? 997 00:58:54,740 --> 00:58:55,740 Hmm? 998 00:58:55,824 --> 00:58:57,617 Let's move out, you pansies. 999 00:58:57,868 --> 00:59:01,913 Hey! This is not a race, okay? 1000 00:59:09,671 --> 00:59:21,682 Again! Step, kick, kick, leap, kick, touch 1001 00:59:21,767 --> 00:59:24,852 Right, let's do the whole combination facing away from the mirror 1002 00:59:24,937 --> 00:59:27,605 From the top, A-five, six, seven, eight! 1003 00:59:32,319 --> 00:59:33,986 WILL: What the hell? 1004 00:59:34,571 --> 00:59:37,823 Pterodactyl eggs are incubating all over the caldera. 1005 00:59:38,450 --> 00:59:40,910 And there's your shitty boom box. 1006 00:59:40,994 --> 00:59:44,497 Across a sea of thin volcanic glass. 1007 00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:50,002 Okay, Will, what you're gonna want to do is evenly distribute your weight, 1008 00:59:50,087 --> 00:59:53,714 while at the same time, keeping an eye out for the eggs. 1009 00:59:53,799 --> 00:59:57,093 Hey! Will? I know you're faking. 1010 00:59:58,011 --> 00:59:59,470 Okay. Chaka. 1011 01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:02,306 Chaka! 1012 01:00:02,975 --> 01:00:04,183 Come on. 1013 01:00:04,977 --> 01:00:07,186 Fine. Maybe I need to listen to the words 1014 01:00:07,271 --> 01:00:09,855 of a group of young kids trying to make it onstage. 1015 01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:11,857 God, I hope I get it. 1016 01:00:12,526 --> 01:00:13,943 I hope I get it. 1017 01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:15,569 Marshall. 1018 01:00:17,197 --> 01:00:18,698 Be careful. 1019 01:00:20,242 --> 01:00:22,493 I'm up! I'm up. I got this. 1020 01:00:22,577 --> 01:00:23,953 Marshall, you got it. 1021 01:00:25,163 --> 01:00:26,789 God, I hope I get it! 1022 01:00:26,873 --> 01:00:30,251 Do me a favor. Just keep an eye on the mother, okay? 1023 01:00:30,335 --> 01:00:32,295 You mustn't change the surface temperature of the eggs. 1024 01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:35,214 Even a drop of sweat could activate the hatching process. 1025 01:00:35,299 --> 01:00:36,382 Right. 1026 01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:38,092 How many people does he... 1027 01:00:38,176 --> 01:00:41,387 I really need this job 1028 01:00:41,471 --> 01:00:44,724 Please, God, I need this job 1029 01:00:44,933 --> 01:00:48,769 I've got to get this job! 1030 01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:06,579 I got it. I got it. 1031 01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:10,833 All right, let me see the boys The whole group, ready 1032 01:01:10,917 --> 01:01:12,710 A- five, six, seven, eight! 1033 01:01:37,944 --> 01:01:40,154 RICK: They're hatching! Why are they hatching? 1034 01:01:40,238 --> 01:01:42,948 The music! It must be like a lullaby. 1035 01:01:43,617 --> 01:01:44,950 Shut up! 1036 01:01:49,873 --> 01:01:53,167 God, I hope I get it! I hope I get it 1037 01:01:53,251 --> 01:01:55,628 How many people does he need? 1038 01:01:57,631 --> 01:02:01,050 God, I hope I get it! I hope I get it 1039 01:02:01,134 --> 01:02:03,427 How many boys? How many girls? 1040 01:02:05,013 --> 01:02:08,391 Look at all the people! At all the people 1041 01:02:08,475 --> 01:02:10,226 How many people does he need? 1042 01:02:10,310 --> 01:02:11,852 How many boys? How many girls? 1043 01:02:11,937 --> 01:02:13,354 How many people does he... 1044 01:02:13,438 --> 01:02:16,399 I really need this job 1045 01:02:16,483 --> 01:02:19,193 Please, God, I need this job 1046 01:02:19,277 --> 01:02:23,697 I've got to get this job! 1047 01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:56,689 RICK: People, we are going home! 1048 01:03:01,862 --> 01:03:04,071 I'm gonna miss this place that proves I was right. 1049 01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:19,211 Drink. Drink, yes. 1050 01:03:22,382 --> 01:03:25,301 Oh! That is delicious and refreshing! Mmm-mmm. 1051 01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:27,303 Sweet and sour, like Chinese food. 1052 01:03:27,387 --> 01:03:28,387 Yeah. 1053 01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:32,641 He's saying it's a celebratory drink in his village. 1054 01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:33,934 Cheers! 1055 01:03:36,855 --> 01:03:39,815 Yeah, it brings a joyful lightness to the heart and soul. 1056 01:03:39,900 --> 01:03:41,233 No, no. No. 1057 01:03:42,736 --> 01:03:44,153 No, I'm sorry, it's not "joyful lightness. " 1058 01:03:44,237 --> 01:03:47,740 A better translation would be "howling loneliness. " 1059 01:03:49,868 --> 01:03:53,537 And then your bravery will be tested as your mind fogs. 1060 01:03:55,999 --> 01:03:58,584 And the Shadow Hags will rise from the graves and... 1061 01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,087 And hold you in an icy embrace. 1062 01:04:04,216 --> 01:04:07,384 And it'll feel like your bowel's being pierced 1063 01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:10,387 by a ghost serpent. 1064 01:04:11,765 --> 01:04:13,057 Well, that can't be right. 1065 01:04:13,141 --> 01:04:14,725 No, that can't be right. 1066 01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:15,851 Chaka... 1067 01:04:19,105 --> 01:04:20,606 Oh, no, no. 1068 01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:22,900 Okay, he says it's not ghost serpent. 1069 01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:25,110 It's much closer to "zombie dick. " 1070 01:04:28,949 --> 01:04:31,325 I think it might be a narcotic. 1071 01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:33,285 Is that so? 1072 01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:39,416 I need you to be honest with me, okay? You a cop? 1073 01:04:40,627 --> 01:04:41,877 Chaka. 1074 01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:46,882 That's not an answer, Chaka. That's your name. 1075 01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:52,054 Seriously, by law, you have to tell me if you're a police officer. 1076 01:04:52,138 --> 01:04:53,472 Marco. Polo. 1077 01:04:53,557 --> 01:04:55,391 You wearing a wire? 1078 01:05:02,983 --> 01:05:04,650 Marco. Polo. 1079 01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:11,156 Hello. 1080 01:05:18,957 --> 01:05:20,416 Hot coffee! 1081 01:06:04,210 --> 01:06:06,503 I need food. Marshall! 1082 01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:07,630 Yeah. 1083 01:06:07,714 --> 01:06:08,839 Fruit me, buddy. 1084 01:06:40,246 --> 01:06:41,830 Yeah. Yeah, right there. 1085 01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:42,998 Get it on there. 1086 01:06:43,083 --> 01:06:44,124 Thank you. 1087 01:06:50,090 --> 01:06:51,298 Chaka. 1088 01:06:52,717 --> 01:06:54,927 I owe you an apology, okay? 1089 01:06:56,262 --> 01:06:59,973 I'm a guest in your land. 1090 01:07:00,517 --> 01:07:03,936 A guest who came unannounced, uninvited, 1091 01:07:05,230 --> 01:07:08,774 and I've treated you like a toilet. A toilet! 1092 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:12,528 I wanna make it up to you. 1093 01:07:12,987 --> 01:07:17,408 Because the love I feel for you, and I'm not exaggerating, 1094 01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:21,662 is a billion times greater 1095 01:07:21,746 --> 01:07:26,709 than the love for mankind that Jesus felt on the cross. 1096 01:07:29,087 --> 01:07:30,796 You can take that to the bank. 1097 01:07:33,717 --> 01:07:35,884 I'm so glad you guys squashed that. 1098 01:07:36,553 --> 01:07:39,805 I love you guys so much. You guys are amazing. 1099 01:07:41,558 --> 01:07:43,517 I don't ever want to go home. No. 1100 01:07:43,601 --> 01:07:44,852 This is just like Sandals Resort. 1101 01:07:44,936 --> 01:07:45,936 Mmm-hmm. 1102 01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:49,648 There's good people, a lot of good food. Good times. 1103 01:07:50,859 --> 01:07:54,737 I want to make this my life. I must make... Be here all the time. 1104 01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:56,029 Yeah. 1105 01:08:00,076 --> 01:08:01,160 Mmm. 1106 01:08:01,244 --> 01:08:02,578 Hey. Hey. 1107 01:08:02,662 --> 01:08:03,912 You're funny, Chaka. 1108 01:08:03,997 --> 01:08:05,497 He's hilarious. You're funny. 1109 01:08:05,582 --> 01:08:06,832 His jokes are disgusting. 1110 01:08:10,211 --> 01:08:11,211 You're funny. 1111 01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:12,671 Hey, for real, though? Mmm? 1112 01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:17,176 How much money would I have to pay y'all to French kiss each other? 1113 01:08:18,344 --> 01:08:19,845 For real? 1114 01:08:19,929 --> 01:08:20,929 Totally for real. 1115 01:08:21,014 --> 01:08:22,055 For real, for real? 1116 01:08:22,140 --> 01:08:25,184 Tongue in his monkey mouth. 1117 01:08:25,268 --> 01:08:29,313 Hey, if it doesn't leave the three of us, I'd do it for free right now. 1118 01:08:29,397 --> 01:08:31,356 It's not gonna leave here. 1119 01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:32,816 I'd do it right now. 1120 01:08:32,901 --> 01:08:35,903 Let me see it. Kiss him. 1121 01:08:35,987 --> 01:08:37,446 It doesn't leave the three of us? 1122 01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:40,365 Never. I won't tell anybody. Who am I gonna tell? 1123 01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,243 You French kiss him! I... I'm gonna do it. 1124 01:08:43,328 --> 01:08:45,329 Come here. I want you to... What? 1125 01:08:45,413 --> 01:08:47,289 What? Get... Get... 1126 01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:51,877 WILL: You guys are gross! 1127 01:08:53,421 --> 01:08:56,548 I don't wanna do it! I don't wanna do it! 1128 01:08:57,509 --> 01:08:58,550 I don't wanna do it. 1129 01:08:58,635 --> 01:08:59,635 WILL: Oh! That's gross! 1130 01:08:59,719 --> 01:09:00,886 I've changed my mind. 1131 01:09:11,356 --> 01:09:13,148 Dinosaur eggs! 1132 01:09:14,192 --> 01:09:15,859 Dinosaur poo. 1133 01:09:28,873 --> 01:09:30,499 This is the Zarn! 1134 01:09:30,583 --> 01:09:32,835 Heed my warning or be destroyed! 1135 01:09:32,919 --> 01:09:35,003 Well, we're... We're just trying to get home. 1136 01:09:35,088 --> 01:09:37,923 Enik the Altrusian has escaped our custody! 1137 01:09:38,007 --> 01:09:40,926 He has overtaken the central pylon and its crystals 1138 01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:46,515 and now plans to lead his army of Sleestak on a rampage across time and space! 1139 01:09:46,599 --> 01:09:50,853 If you're hearing this, heed my warning. Do not believe... 1140 01:09:52,146 --> 01:09:54,439 No! Enik! No! 1141 01:10:17,297 --> 01:10:18,630 The Zarn. 1142 01:10:20,341 --> 01:10:22,342 I've gotta go and warn them that... 1143 01:10:42,322 --> 01:10:49,244 Holly? 1144 01:10:57,462 --> 01:10:59,338 They've taken Holly. 1145 01:10:59,964 --> 01:11:03,508 Chaka? I've got a mission for you. Now listen closely. 1146 01:11:17,190 --> 01:11:18,273 I don't know what that means. 1147 01:11:18,358 --> 01:11:20,275 Just come on. 1148 01:11:27,241 --> 01:11:28,492 Oh, man. 1149 01:11:29,285 --> 01:11:32,120 Sentries. Classic hive behavior. 1150 01:11:32,997 --> 01:11:34,831 Obviously on patrol. 1151 01:11:34,916 --> 01:11:37,626 Yep, just like drones, tirelessly hunting. 1152 01:11:37,710 --> 01:11:39,836 Dude, it looks like they're getting ready to make out. 1153 01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:41,964 No. No, no, no. 1154 01:11:51,557 --> 01:11:52,933 He's about to tap that ass. 1155 01:11:53,017 --> 01:11:54,267 Would you shut up? 1156 01:11:54,352 --> 01:11:56,728 He's not about to tap that ass. 1157 01:11:58,231 --> 01:12:01,400 You're right. He's totally tapping that ass. 1158 01:12:01,901 --> 01:12:05,070 Wow. Our own little private show. 1159 01:12:13,246 --> 01:12:15,080 WILL: Oh, God, they shed. 1160 01:12:35,226 --> 01:12:36,184 Hi. 1161 01:12:36,269 --> 01:12:38,729 Hey, don't do that! Just focus. 1162 01:12:43,651 --> 01:12:48,405 We find you guilty of providing assistance to Enik the Altrusian. 1163 01:12:49,073 --> 01:12:50,198 There she is. 1164 01:12:50,283 --> 01:12:52,367 Prepare to meet the Sleestak god. 1165 01:12:52,452 --> 01:12:53,493 No. 1166 01:12:53,578 --> 01:12:54,870 Stop! Marshall! 1167 01:12:54,954 --> 01:12:56,329 Do not interfere! 1168 01:12:56,414 --> 01:12:57,789 Dude, what the hell are you doing? 1169 01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:01,960 This one was caught trying to deliver a tachyon device to Enik. 1170 01:13:02,045 --> 01:13:04,296 If you want Holly, you've gotta deal with us. 1171 01:13:05,882 --> 01:13:07,090 No, no, Marshall, don't! 1172 01:13:07,175 --> 01:13:09,176 Because we're all friends of Enik! 1173 01:13:09,260 --> 01:13:14,931 Enik the Altrusian is guilty of the destruction of an entire civilization. 1174 01:13:15,016 --> 01:13:16,016 Entire what now? 1175 01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:17,392 Convicted of his crimes, 1176 01:13:17,477 --> 01:13:20,687 he was sentenced to 10,000 years imprisonment... 1177 01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:21,897 He lied to us. 1178 01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:26,443 ...and made to wear a tunic as a symbol of his deceit. 1179 01:13:26,819 --> 01:13:28,361 Told you, dude. Tunic. 1180 01:13:28,446 --> 01:13:32,074 As his allies, you shall die as well. 1181 01:13:32,158 --> 01:13:33,575 Seize them! 1182 01:13:34,494 --> 01:13:35,577 Come on. 1183 01:13:36,245 --> 01:13:37,537 Marshall! 1184 01:13:40,625 --> 01:13:41,666 Hold on, Holly! 1185 01:13:56,015 --> 01:13:57,307 See you. 1186 01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:07,692 We can do this. Ready? 1187 01:14:07,777 --> 01:14:08,777 Ready. 1188 01:14:20,164 --> 01:14:24,334 Wait. Wait, what about our... Our working relationship? 1189 01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:30,757 I've wanted to do that since I first met you. 1190 01:14:30,842 --> 01:14:32,509 You mean we could've been doing this the whole time? 1191 01:14:32,593 --> 01:14:34,219 Yeah, but I was worried it wouldn't be professional 1192 01:14:34,303 --> 01:14:35,470 or it'd distract you from your work. 1193 01:14:35,555 --> 01:14:38,598 No. No, not distracting. Never distracting. 1194 01:14:40,351 --> 01:14:44,646 Are you guys kidding me? Come on! Really! Now is the time for this? 1195 01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:46,606 You know, he's... He's right. 1196 01:14:46,691 --> 01:14:49,693 We've got to stop Enik, and right now he has the upper hand. 1197 01:14:49,777 --> 01:14:53,488 I mean, I know we have the element of surprise, but... 1198 01:14:57,451 --> 01:14:59,161 Yeah, about that. 1199 01:15:00,580 --> 01:15:01,788 What? 1200 01:15:01,873 --> 01:15:04,457 We sent Chaka to go get him. 1201 01:15:10,089 --> 01:15:13,091 Well, then, Rick Marshall. 1202 01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:17,512 Coming here represents a slight adjustment to my plans, but no matter. 1203 01:15:17,597 --> 01:15:19,514 I have what I need. 1204 01:15:19,599 --> 01:15:24,519 And it's all thanks to you, Dr. Marshall, and this. 1205 01:15:26,105 --> 01:15:27,731 Don't. We're outgunned. 1206 01:15:27,815 --> 01:15:30,066 ENIK: My Sleestak stand prepared. 1207 01:15:31,444 --> 01:15:32,694 With the power of the crystals, 1208 01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:35,947 they are my slaves, my conquering army. 1209 01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:38,533 Thanks to your device, 1210 01:15:38,618 --> 01:15:43,914 I can lead an invasion force anywhere I choose in all of time and space. 1211 01:15:44,332 --> 01:15:46,833 But I believe I will begin with your Earth. 1212 01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:47,918 Oh, no. 1213 01:15:48,002 --> 01:15:50,212 ENIK: My Sleestaks reproduce quickly. 1214 01:15:50,296 --> 01:15:52,547 Yeah, we already caught some of that action. 1215 01:15:52,632 --> 01:15:57,636 ENIK: In mere weeks, your world will be overrun by their scaly offspring. 1216 01:15:58,679 --> 01:16:02,724 And when I'm standing in the cinders of your civilization, 1217 01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:06,353 I'll be sure to give you full scientific credit. 1218 01:16:07,688 --> 01:16:10,357 I know how important that is to you. 1219 01:16:11,150 --> 01:16:14,527 Now save your strength. You'll need it. 1220 01:16:17,657 --> 01:16:20,200 "You'll need it"? What is he... 1221 01:16:25,748 --> 01:16:27,165 Marshall? 1222 01:16:30,169 --> 01:16:31,586 Great. 1223 01:16:40,012 --> 01:16:42,889 Right, you run and I'll distract him. He's not after me. 1224 01:16:42,974 --> 01:16:45,183 No. I'm not running. 1225 01:16:46,227 --> 01:16:47,811 This ends here. 1226 01:16:48,354 --> 01:16:50,605 Marshall, what are you doing? 1227 01:16:50,690 --> 01:16:52,565 Maybe what I was always meant to do. 1228 01:16:53,025 --> 01:16:57,320 Now, just go. I'll meet you at the pylon, I hope. 1229 01:16:57,405 --> 01:16:59,155 No, we're not leaving without you. 1230 01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:00,240 Go! 1231 01:17:00,992 --> 01:17:03,535 Get out of here! I don't love you. 1232 01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:08,456 Go! Ow! Marshall! 1233 01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:11,001 Get! You're ugly. 1234 01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:23,054 Look, if you're gonna do this for real, take this. 1235 01:17:23,139 --> 01:17:25,640 Got some high-powered fireworks in here that might come in handy. 1236 01:17:25,725 --> 01:17:27,183 Are you kidding me? 1237 01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:29,519 You mean you've been carrying a bag of fireworks 1238 01:17:29,603 --> 01:17:31,479 around with you this whole time? 1239 01:17:31,564 --> 01:17:34,482 There's literally a dozen situations where we could have used these. 1240 01:17:36,861 --> 01:17:39,904 He's right. None of that's important now, okay? 1241 01:17:39,989 --> 01:17:43,658 Listen. I gotta just level with you, bro. I misjudged you. 1242 01:17:43,743 --> 01:17:47,871 I thought you were just a dumbass dude who dressed stupid, but I'm wrong. 1243 01:17:47,955 --> 01:17:49,873 You're solid. Thanks. 1244 01:17:49,957 --> 01:17:54,169 Thick or thin, I will follow you into battle at any time. 1245 01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:57,839 You hear me? Absolutely any time. 1246 01:17:57,923 --> 01:18:00,300 Okay. How about now? 1247 01:18:00,801 --> 01:18:01,926 Like right now? Yes. 1248 01:18:04,388 --> 01:18:07,849 Honestly, I didn't really expect you to call the favor in this soon. 1249 01:18:07,933 --> 01:18:12,020 So, on this one, unfortunately I'm gonna have to say no. 1250 01:18:12,104 --> 01:18:15,023 But I think it's gonna be awesome for you, for personal growth, 1251 01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:17,025 just to hit this one solo. 1252 01:18:17,109 --> 01:18:19,778 I'm gonna be rooting for you. Okay? 1253 01:18:19,862 --> 01:18:22,614 Trenches, bro. It's all about love. 1254 01:18:23,949 --> 01:18:25,325 Okay? 1255 01:18:25,409 --> 01:18:28,411 After this time, I'm there for you, okay? 1256 01:18:28,996 --> 01:18:30,747 Any time after now. 1257 01:18:31,999 --> 01:18:34,000 He's your man, not me. 1258 01:19:07,618 --> 01:19:11,329 All right, it's a fact. You and I don't like each other. 1259 01:19:12,998 --> 01:19:16,042 Yes. And only one will remain. 1260 01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:20,213 I'm just gonna have to fight you at your own game. 1261 01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:30,056 Stay back. Get back. 1262 01:19:34,186 --> 01:19:36,521 Damn, you're quick. 'Cause you're a dinosaur. 1263 01:19:36,605 --> 01:19:39,566 But you don't carry around these, do you? 1264 01:19:39,984 --> 01:19:41,234 Huh? 1265 01:19:42,194 --> 01:19:45,113 Welcome to the big bang theory, my friend. 1266 01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:51,536 Damn it, Will! 1267 01:20:03,424 --> 01:20:05,425 Ah! That was stupid. 1268 01:20:10,139 --> 01:20:12,807 You're cornered, man! There's no way out! 1269 01:20:12,892 --> 01:20:14,642 There's always a way out! 1270 01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:19,272 'Cause if you don't make it... 1271 01:20:19,940 --> 01:20:22,775 It's your own damn vault. 1272 01:20:50,846 --> 01:20:52,388 My God! He's gonna do it! 1273 01:20:52,473 --> 01:20:53,973 Do it! Do it! 1274 01:21:01,273 --> 01:21:03,191 Oh, God! 1275 01:21:03,275 --> 01:21:04,984 No, no. 1276 01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,569 I don't believe it. 1277 01:21:06,654 --> 01:21:08,154 Oh, shit. 1278 01:21:12,159 --> 01:21:16,079 Yeah! You! You bastard! 1279 01:21:18,249 --> 01:21:20,708 Do you realize who you just ate, do you? 1280 01:21:20,793 --> 01:21:22,794 Probably the most brilliant man ever. 1281 01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:25,630 Probably the only man who ever really knew you. 1282 01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:27,674 All right, so he was wrong about the size of your brain, 1283 01:21:27,758 --> 01:21:29,259 but you don't go and eat a man for that. 1284 01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:32,053 You reason with him, you stupid idiot! 1285 01:21:32,763 --> 01:21:34,889 He was your future! 1286 01:21:34,974 --> 01:21:36,683 He was my future! 1287 01:21:38,102 --> 01:21:40,812 And I'm never gonna get a chance to tell him that because of you! 1288 01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:52,365 It's cool. It's cool. 1289 01:21:52,449 --> 01:21:53,783 I'm sorry. 1290 01:21:57,705 --> 01:22:00,999 Right. Now we must get home. We're gonna get back, 1291 01:22:01,083 --> 01:22:04,043 and we're gonna tell the world what Dr. Rick Marshall did here today. 1292 01:22:25,357 --> 01:22:27,734 Come on, you big green bastards. 1293 01:22:29,695 --> 01:22:36,534 I am sick and tired of you slow-moving little wankers! 1294 01:22:44,460 --> 01:22:45,668 Will! 1295 01:22:46,128 --> 01:22:49,714 All right, little dude. Let's do this. 1296 01:22:50,174 --> 01:22:51,716 Lock and load! 1297 01:22:56,221 --> 01:22:57,555 Boo-ya! 1298 01:22:59,558 --> 01:23:02,477 You want some of this? Eat, Chaka, eat! 1299 01:23:02,561 --> 01:23:03,770 Holly! 1300 01:23:04,563 --> 01:23:05,730 Will! 1301 01:23:07,941 --> 01:23:11,110 Step... Step and lift! 1302 01:23:16,450 --> 01:23:18,951 All right, my murderous friend, take us home. 1303 01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:23,122 Get! 1304 01:23:24,583 --> 01:23:27,335 Bite that guy right back there! Nice. 1305 01:23:27,419 --> 01:23:29,212 Good get. 1306 01:23:29,296 --> 01:23:31,339 That's him. That's him. 1307 01:23:31,965 --> 01:23:34,926 Upper deck! The horror! 1308 01:23:35,344 --> 01:23:37,512 God, that is the coolest thing I have ever seen. 1309 01:23:37,596 --> 01:23:39,263 Let's do it, pal. 1310 01:23:41,266 --> 01:23:43,184 The only thing cooler would be if he'd slide down Grumpy's tail 1311 01:23:43,268 --> 01:23:44,686 just like Fred Flintstone would do when... 1312 01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:51,859 Oh, God, I've lived. I have lived. 1313 01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:55,780 Easy. Hey, come on, it tickles. 1314 01:23:56,115 --> 01:23:57,615 Marshall! 1315 01:24:01,954 --> 01:24:02,954 What happened? 1316 01:24:03,038 --> 01:24:04,622 Dude, we thought you had died! 1317 01:24:04,707 --> 01:24:07,917 Died? No. That was just a minor setback. 1318 01:24:10,003 --> 01:24:11,838 Okay, let's go home. 1319 01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:14,215 No, no, no, wait. This is insane. 1320 01:24:14,299 --> 01:24:15,967 We saw you go down Grumpy's cake hole. 1321 01:24:16,093 --> 01:24:17,802 What, did he puke you out or something? Well... 1322 01:24:17,886 --> 01:24:20,430 No, it's not possible. The T. Rex lacked a gag reflex. 1323 01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:22,223 Not important right now. 1324 01:24:24,518 --> 01:24:26,269 I'm okay, and that's it. 1325 01:24:26,353 --> 01:24:27,562 This is a puzzler. 1326 01:24:27,646 --> 01:24:30,898 Look, I'd really rather not talk about it, okay? 1327 01:24:32,359 --> 01:24:34,360 Now, let's light this candle. 1328 01:24:34,445 --> 01:24:37,071 No, Marshall, how did you get out? 1329 01:24:37,156 --> 01:24:39,282 I will talk to you about it later! 1330 01:24:39,366 --> 01:24:43,077 Individually, to each one of you. I'll explain it. 1331 01:24:44,997 --> 01:24:47,498 Jeez. Would you grow up? 1332 01:24:47,833 --> 01:24:49,625 Oh, my God! 1333 01:24:49,710 --> 01:24:51,169 Yes, he pooped me out! 1334 01:24:52,629 --> 01:24:54,380 And now you guys are friends? 1335 01:24:54,465 --> 01:24:57,759 While I was snaking my way through his bowels, I don't know, I... 1336 01:24:57,843 --> 01:25:00,470 I must have dislodged some sort of intestinal blockage. 1337 01:25:00,554 --> 01:25:03,097 And, yes, he's in a much better mood now. 1338 01:25:03,182 --> 01:25:06,559 So can we move on? I really would like to go home. 1339 01:25:07,686 --> 01:25:11,898 You were deuced out by a dinosaur. That is incredibly cool. 1340 01:25:14,526 --> 01:25:16,986 Grumpy, listen. 1341 01:25:17,863 --> 01:25:20,698 When you talk about this, and you will, 1342 01:25:22,701 --> 01:25:26,037 please be gentle. Okay? 1343 01:25:27,873 --> 01:25:30,666 All right, gangsta, let's bones it out. 1344 01:25:35,214 --> 01:25:37,715 Don't worry about it. It's hard with your vestigial arm. 1345 01:25:39,259 --> 01:25:41,636 Let's go, guys. To freedom. 1346 01:25:52,898 --> 01:25:54,857 ENIK: Thank you, Dr. Marshall. 1347 01:25:54,942 --> 01:25:58,903 And now, the doorway opens. 1348 01:26:01,782 --> 01:26:02,990 Enik! 1349 01:26:03,367 --> 01:26:06,118 It's over. You're not going anywhere. 1350 01:26:06,203 --> 01:26:10,081 You think you can challenge me? 1351 01:26:17,047 --> 01:26:18,548 I wrestled at Purdue. 1352 01:26:19,758 --> 01:26:20,925 J.V. 1353 01:26:22,886 --> 01:26:24,679 Fight, fight, fight! 1354 01:26:26,640 --> 01:26:29,267 Chaka! Nicaraguan ball breaker! 1355 01:26:32,104 --> 01:26:34,188 Marshall! I'm coming in! 1356 01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:38,734 Misfire! 1357 01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:58,379 What have you done? 1358 01:26:58,463 --> 01:27:01,132 The door. It's closing forever! 1359 01:27:15,606 --> 01:27:17,899 It's barely holding. Let's go! 1360 01:27:22,654 --> 01:27:26,157 It's your home or your comrade, Dr. Marshall. 1361 01:27:27,326 --> 01:27:29,827 No, it isn't. Reverse! 1362 01:27:31,121 --> 01:27:34,498 You go! I've got this yellow bastard in lockdown. 1363 01:27:34,583 --> 01:27:35,750 I'm gonna stay. 1364 01:27:35,834 --> 01:27:36,876 What? What? 1365 01:27:36,960 --> 01:27:39,253 Yeah. I've been talking to my man Chaka. 1366 01:27:39,338 --> 01:27:41,631 He pitches a pretty good world. 1367 01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:44,759 I mean, think about it. My home was never in the real world. 1368 01:27:44,843 --> 01:27:47,595 I never belonged. This could be a fresh start for me. 1369 01:27:47,679 --> 01:27:49,055 You know, make some new friends. 1370 01:27:49,139 --> 01:27:51,599 I could be somebody, a winner. 1371 01:27:51,808 --> 01:27:52,850 Ow! 1372 01:27:53,352 --> 01:27:55,269 Wow, I really admire you right now. 1373 01:27:55,354 --> 01:27:57,313 I just feel like so many people go through this life 1374 01:27:57,397 --> 01:27:59,315 looking for what I've found here, you know? 1375 01:27:59,399 --> 01:28:02,276 And they themselves, they never find it. 1376 01:28:02,361 --> 01:28:06,030 Or worse, they find it, but they let it slip away. 1377 01:28:07,574 --> 01:28:09,283 I am so afraid of that happening. 1378 01:28:09,368 --> 01:28:11,953 You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel scared. 1379 01:28:12,037 --> 01:28:14,121 Marshall! Please. 1380 01:28:14,206 --> 01:28:16,874 You can't leave me here like this with him! 1381 01:28:16,959 --> 01:28:20,211 As one scientist to another, I beg you for mercy. 1382 01:28:22,255 --> 01:28:25,508 Science shows no mercy, and neither do I. 1383 01:28:26,301 --> 01:28:28,302 That's good. Thank you. 1384 01:28:28,762 --> 01:28:30,471 Let's go, Holly. 1385 01:28:33,684 --> 01:28:34,767 Ready? 1386 01:28:34,851 --> 01:28:35,893 Ready. 1387 01:28:37,062 --> 01:28:39,981 Chaka? Technically, I'm still your master! 1388 01:28:52,285 --> 01:28:53,703 Marshall? 1389 01:28:53,996 --> 01:28:55,204 Holly? 1390 01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:01,544 We made it! 1391 01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:08,676 Thank you. Thank you. 1392 01:29:10,971 --> 01:29:16,434 I just want to say you have grown into a beautiful woman. 1393 01:29:21,398 --> 01:29:22,773 Oh, no... 1394 01:29:31,283 --> 01:29:32,533 Hey! 1395 01:29:34,411 --> 01:29:35,995 Where's Will? 1396 01:29:36,747 --> 01:29:39,081 He went to a better place. 1397 01:29:41,043 --> 01:29:42,668 You killed him? 1398 01:29:42,753 --> 01:29:43,753 No. 1399 01:29:45,297 --> 01:29:48,466 No, he went to a strange world, 1400 01:29:49,801 --> 01:29:54,597 a world of dinosaurs, monkey people, lizard people, 1401 01:29:55,724 --> 01:30:00,394 a hole in space and time, a virtual land of the lost. 1402 01:30:02,022 --> 01:30:05,941 And as hard as it is to believe, Will chose to stay. 1403 01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:09,153 All right. Cool. 1404 01:30:10,781 --> 01:30:14,575 WILL: Yeah, did you see those Sleestaks kick the crap out of Enik? 1405 01:30:15,077 --> 01:30:17,078 I've never seen them move so fast. 1406 01:30:18,455 --> 01:30:21,707 WILL: Yeah, I couldn't agree more, little buddy. Tunic. 1407 01:30:22,834 --> 01:30:25,503 Hop up. I got you, come on. 1408 01:30:26,004 --> 01:30:27,129 Whoa! 1409 01:30:28,507 --> 01:30:31,008 Man, you are deceptively heavy. 1410 01:30:39,017 --> 01:30:40,392 Oh, my God. 1411 01:30:57,035 --> 01:31:00,371 Chaka! My God! We're kings! 1412 01:31:00,831 --> 01:31:02,039 Yeah. 1413 01:31:07,045 --> 01:31:08,629 Are those what your women look like? 1414 01:31:08,713 --> 01:31:11,340 Hop off. Be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool. 1415 01:31:12,759 --> 01:31:13,801 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1416 01:31:13,885 --> 01:31:15,886 Easy! Stand down! Stand down. 1417 01:31:15,971 --> 01:31:17,763 I got this. 1418 01:31:17,848 --> 01:31:21,725 How's it going? I'm Will. Pretty much Chaka's best friend. 1419 01:31:22,227 --> 01:31:25,104 I'm here to offer y'all protection 1420 01:31:25,188 --> 01:31:28,357 and shelter and really pretty much anything 1421 01:31:28,441 --> 01:31:31,402 that you guys would ever need, okay. 1422 01:31:32,112 --> 01:31:35,823 Hey, how's it going? Hey, yeah. Okay, yeah, that's denim. 1423 01:31:35,907 --> 01:31:39,243 Denim, yeah. Yeah. Well, look at that, huh? 1424 01:31:39,786 --> 01:31:43,581 Hey, you're back there, too. Okay. This was definitely a good choice. 1425 01:31:45,917 --> 01:31:48,878 This is Today, with Matt Lauer. 1426 01:31:49,671 --> 01:31:52,882 It's been some time since my final guest was here, 1427 01:31:52,966 --> 01:31:57,678 but after the remarkable events of the past year, 1428 01:31:57,762 --> 01:31:59,305 he needs no introduction. 1429 01:31:59,389 --> 01:32:02,892 He's back with a new book and more startling evidence 1430 01:32:03,476 --> 01:32:05,019 of, you guessed it, time warps. 1431 01:32:05,103 --> 01:32:06,979 The pipe's allowed. I asked. 1432 01:32:07,063 --> 01:32:08,856 That's great news. 1433 01:32:08,940 --> 01:32:11,192 You've had quite a year. 1434 01:32:11,276 --> 01:32:13,360 Actually, a stellar year, Matt. 1435 01:32:13,445 --> 01:32:15,529 In fact, I brought you back a dinosaur egg, 1436 01:32:15,614 --> 01:32:18,532 which my beautiful partner and lover, 1437 01:32:18,617 --> 01:32:21,452 Holly Cantrell, was gracious enough to transport. 1438 01:32:21,536 --> 01:32:22,703 And I'm obviously very excited 1439 01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:24,705 about my new tome. It's a book. 1440 01:32:24,789 --> 01:32:26,874 Sixteen weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. 1441 01:32:26,958 --> 01:32:28,667 Let me get to your discovery, Doctor, because... 1442 01:32:28,752 --> 01:32:31,003 This is for you. I signed it. 1443 01:32:34,341 --> 01:32:35,966 You're supposed to say the title and the publisher. 1444 01:32:36,051 --> 01:32:37,718 That's not gonna happen. 1445 01:32:37,802 --> 01:32:39,011 Just say it. No. 1446 01:32:39,095 --> 01:32:40,471 Just say the damn title. 1447 01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:41,555 Fine. 1448 01:32:42,474 --> 01:32:45,476 Matt Lauer Can Suck It, by Dr. Rick Marshall. 1449 01:32:45,894 --> 01:32:48,520 I was so surprised that your attorney signed off on that. 1450 01:32:48,605 --> 01:32:50,397 I was like, "Are you sure? Is this gonna be okay?" 1451 01:32:50,482 --> 01:32:51,857 He said, "Yeah, go for it. " 1452 01:32:51,942 --> 01:32:53,359 Son of a bitch. You... 1453 01:32:53,443 --> 01:32:54,818 You puss! 1454 01:36:19,691 --> 01:36:21,358 And we're clear. 1455 01:36:24,863 --> 01:36:27,906 If anyone sees Matt, can you tell him he forgot his egg? 108022

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