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00:00:28,716 --> 00:00:33,716
Subtitles by explosiveskull
2
00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:15,434
Fuck Wolverine.
3
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:18,234
First, he rides my coattails
with the R rating.
4
00:02:18,236 --> 00:02:22,767
Then the hairy motherfucker
ups the ante by dying.
5
00:02:22,769 --> 00:02:24,934
What a dick.
6
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,334
Well, guess what, Wolvie?
7
00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:29,833
I'm dying in this one, too.
8
00:02:33,002 --> 00:02:35,034
To understand
why I took a cat-nap
9
00:02:35,036 --> 00:02:37,434
on 1,200 gallons
of high-test fuel...
10
00:02:37,436 --> 00:02:38,668
I need to take you back
11
00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:41,234
to the dewy slopes
of six weeks ago.
12
00:02:41,236 --> 00:02:42,634
I'd gone international,
13
00:02:42,636 --> 00:02:44,534
taking out mass murderers,
gangsters,
14
00:02:44,536 --> 00:02:46,135
unspeakable monsters.
15
00:02:46,137 --> 00:02:49,068
People nobody would touch.
Except me.
16
00:02:49,070 --> 00:02:51,934
I'm gonna touch them all over.
17
00:02:54,802 --> 00:02:56,767
Hey, it's Gail calling.
18
00:02:56,769 --> 00:02:58,168
Love the shiny suit.
19
00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,035
Really brings out
20
00:02:59,037 --> 00:03:00,700
the sex trafficker in your eyes.
21
00:03:02,869 --> 00:03:07,000
I don't
speak Cantonese, Mister...
22
00:03:07,002 --> 00:03:09,068
Well, I'm not even gonna
attempt that.
23
00:03:09,070 --> 00:03:11,900
But I did take
8th grade Spanish, so...
24
00:03:13,969 --> 00:03:16,967
Which literally translates to...
25
00:03:16,969 --> 00:03:20,234
I don't bargain, pumpkin fucker.
26
00:03:29,303 --> 00:03:30,534
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro...
27
00:03:43,137 --> 00:03:45,800
I'll take
a cranberry-grapefruit vodka.
28
00:03:45,802 --> 00:03:47,267
I know it's called a Sea Breeze.
29
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,733
Don't make me say it.
30
00:03:48,735 --> 00:03:50,334
Hit it, Dolly.
31
00:04:07,269 --> 00:04:10,136
Taking the hands out
of the guns of the criminals!
32
00:04:18,269 --> 00:04:19,469
Whoo! Do not go in there!
33
00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:32,833
Oh, God! Oh, God, time out!
Time out!
34
00:04:32,835 --> 00:04:36,534
Cut. Got bad guy blood,
right in my open eye.
35
00:04:36,536 --> 00:04:38,467
Oh, that's so gross.
36
00:04:39,536 --> 00:04:41,102
Fuck.
37
00:04:41,835 --> 00:04:43,937
Scoutmaster Kevin?
38
00:04:50,136 --> 00:04:51,835
Too exotic?
39
00:04:54,203 --> 00:04:55,935
My world tour brought me home
40
00:04:55,937 --> 00:04:58,568
to this guy, Sergei Valishnikov.
41
00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:00,001
But we'll get to him
in a moment.
42
00:05:00,003 --> 00:05:01,301
'Cause I know
what you're thinking.
43
00:05:01,303 --> 00:05:04,534
"I'm so glad
I left the kiddos at home."
44
00:05:04,536 --> 00:05:05,935
But that's where you'd be wrong.
45
00:05:05,937 --> 00:05:08,935
That babysitter of yours
is high as fuck right now...
46
00:05:08,937 --> 00:05:13,401
and, believe it or not,
Deadpool 2 is a family film.
47
00:05:13,403 --> 00:05:14,668
True story.
48
00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:18,434
And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder.
49
00:05:18,436 --> 00:05:21,301
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.
50
00:05:21,303 --> 00:05:24,767
Holy shit pickles!
That guy's on fire.
51
00:05:24,769 --> 00:05:27,501
That's not CGI, folks.
He's actually on fire.
52
00:05:27,503 --> 00:05:31,201
Yeah. You know I get paid
to take out bad guys, right?
53
00:05:31,203 --> 00:05:32,201
But this guy?
54
00:05:32,203 --> 00:05:34,769
He was one of the worst of 'em.
55
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,733
Hurry up and open
this fucking door,
56
00:05:38,735 --> 00:05:40,015
and let's kill
this motherfucker!
57
00:05:47,269 --> 00:05:49,334
Ugh. So gross.
58
00:05:49,336 --> 00:05:52,034
A panic room? Really?
59
00:05:52,036 --> 00:05:54,234
Can you come out?
60
00:05:54,236 --> 00:05:57,702
I really have to go.
It's my anniversary.
61
00:06:03,069 --> 00:06:04,568
Over and over,
I hear people say,
62
00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:06,067
"I just don't have
enough confidence."
63
00:06:06,069 --> 00:06:08,201
Listen, confidence is not
something you have.
64
00:06:08,203 --> 00:06:09,733
It's something you create.
65
00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:11,834
And you can create it
at any moment in time.
66
00:06:11,836 --> 00:06:13,634
A sense of confidence is nothing
67
00:06:13,636 --> 00:06:15,067
but a sense of power
within yourself...
68
00:06:15,069 --> 00:06:17,067
a sense of certainty that
you can pull something off.
69
00:06:17,069 --> 00:06:19,000
Start the car!
Start the fucking car!
70
00:06:19,002 --> 00:06:19,868
Dopinder!
71
00:06:19,870 --> 00:06:21,870
Start the fucking car!
72
00:06:28,903 --> 00:06:30,634
- Whoo!
- Oh, I shit my pants.
73
00:06:30,636 --> 00:06:32,901
Actually, that may have been me.
74
00:06:32,903 --> 00:06:34,367
Oh, mission accomplished?
75
00:06:34,369 --> 00:06:36,067
Well, in a George W.
Sort of way.
76
00:06:36,069 --> 00:06:38,067
Fucker can't stay
in a panic room forever.
77
00:06:38,069 --> 00:06:39,700
Oh, you're living
the dreams, DP.
78
00:06:39,702 --> 00:06:41,601
It has been
quite the run, Dopinder,
79
00:06:41,603 --> 00:06:42,868
and who'da thought?
80
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,601
Now I'm talked about in the
same sentence as Jesus.
81
00:06:45,603 --> 00:06:47,534
Passion of the Christ, then me.
82
00:06:47,536 --> 00:06:48,767
At least domestically.
83
00:06:48,769 --> 00:06:49,967
We beat them overseas,
84
00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:52,034
where there's no such thing
as religion.
85
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:54,201
I do want to live the dreams,
Pool Boy.
86
00:06:54,203 --> 00:06:56,700
Taxiing is not as sexy
as it looks.
87
00:06:56,702 --> 00:06:58,367
- I want to fill my...
- Pockets?
88
00:06:58,369 --> 00:07:01,668
What's your poison?
A little, uh, cokey cokey?
89
00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:03,100
Can't maintain an erection
90
00:07:03,102 --> 00:07:04,767
without buying shoes online?
91
00:07:04,769 --> 00:07:06,767
I've never experienced
that last one.
92
00:07:06,769 --> 00:07:08,067
Talk to me, Goose.
93
00:07:08,069 --> 00:07:10,868
I was going to say "soul".
I want to fill my soul.
94
00:07:10,870 --> 00:07:14,267
I want to belong to something,
like you, Pool, sir.
95
00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:15,868
- Dopinder...
- Hmm?
96
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,936
You never cease to surprise me.
97
00:07:19,136 --> 00:07:22,067
You know, the depth of
your heart is extraordinary.
98
00:07:22,069 --> 00:07:23,834
We all need
a sense of belonging.
99
00:07:23,836 --> 00:07:25,700
We all need
a genuine sense of home.
100
00:07:25,702 --> 00:07:26,768
A place in this world.
101
00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:28,134
I want to become
a contract killer.
102
00:07:28,136 --> 00:07:29,834
I'm sorry. What did you say?
103
00:07:29,836 --> 00:07:31,868
Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu
104
00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:33,434
and threatened him
with great violence?
105
00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:34,834
You kind of killed him.
106
00:07:34,836 --> 00:07:36,801
And then remember the movie
Interview with the Vampire?
107
00:07:36,803 --> 00:07:37,934
Don't want to.
108
00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:39,000
When Tom Cruise fed
109
00:07:39,002 --> 00:07:40,900
10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood
110
00:07:40,902 --> 00:07:42,134
for the first time...
111
00:07:42,136 --> 00:07:44,668
and she looked up at his smooth,
112
00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:47,136
handsome face and said...
113
00:07:47,603 --> 00:07:49,301
"I want some more."
114
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:53,336
Oh, Pool, picture me,
a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
115
00:07:54,269 --> 00:07:56,801
I'll never not picture that.
116
00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:58,634
But I can't wait
to never speak of this,
117
00:07:58,636 --> 00:08:00,534
as soon as possible.
118
00:08:00,536 --> 00:08:03,203
We're here.
119
00:08:05,336 --> 00:08:06,234
You're my Tom Cruise!
120
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,201
And you're my Kristen Dunst!
121
00:08:08,203 --> 00:08:09,770
Kristen? Kirsten?
122
00:08:14,636 --> 00:08:16,334
Sorry I'm late.
123
00:08:16,336 --> 00:08:17,834
There was a bunch of
124
00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:19,934
handicapable children
stuck in a tree...
125
00:08:19,936 --> 00:08:21,401
- and I had to, uh...
- Uh-uh.
126
00:08:21,403 --> 00:08:24,234
You're right.
I was fighting a caped badass.
127
00:08:24,236 --> 00:08:27,000
But then we discovered
his mom is named Martha, too.
128
00:08:27,002 --> 00:08:28,301
No.
129
00:08:28,303 --> 00:08:29,303
Traffic?
130
00:08:30,002 --> 00:08:31,036
Hmm?
131
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,501
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
132
00:08:33,503 --> 00:08:34,803
Well, come here.
133
00:08:46,269 --> 00:08:48,867
I'm gonna shower
and get out of this suit.
134
00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:50,034
Don't you want your surprise?
135
00:08:50,036 --> 00:08:52,102
Do I look like
a patient burn victim?
136
00:08:52,736 --> 00:08:54,136
I got one for you, too.
137
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:56,701
Happy anniversary, baby.
138
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,369
Open, open, open.
139
00:09:00,369 --> 00:09:02,201
Skee-Ball token.
140
00:09:02,203 --> 00:09:03,534
Our first date.
141
00:09:03,536 --> 00:09:04,867
Yup.
142
00:09:04,869 --> 00:09:07,969
That's genuine, high-grade lead.
143
00:09:10,671 --> 00:09:13,167
I'll keep it forever.
144
00:09:13,169 --> 00:09:14,703
Thank you, baby.
145
00:09:15,969 --> 00:09:17,936
- Open yours.
- All right, all right.
146
00:09:18,636 --> 00:09:20,102
Oh...
147
00:09:21,203 --> 00:09:23,334
That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've...
148
00:09:23,336 --> 00:09:24,734
I don't know what this is.
149
00:09:24,736 --> 00:09:26,568
My IUD.
150
00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:27,768
A bomb?
151
00:09:27,770 --> 00:09:30,867
No, dick for brains.
My birth control device.
152
00:09:30,869 --> 00:09:31,934
What, you mean that your...
153
00:09:31,936 --> 00:09:33,800
Baby factory's open
for business.
154
00:09:33,802 --> 00:09:35,067
Oh, my God!
155
00:09:35,069 --> 00:09:38,334
Oh, my God! I want a boy!
156
00:09:38,336 --> 00:09:41,401
Or a little girl!
Definitely one or the other!
157
00:09:41,403 --> 00:09:44,469
Oh! And I want our kid
to have only one name.
158
00:09:45,136 --> 00:09:48,167
Like Cher or Todd.
159
00:09:48,169 --> 00:09:50,134
You gotta pump a baby
in me first, cowboy.
160
00:09:50,136 --> 00:09:51,201
Yes, I do.
161
00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:53,167
Let's watch some porn
and show that bed who's boss.
162
00:09:53,169 --> 00:09:54,169
Let's do that.
163
00:09:55,269 --> 00:09:57,334
♪ Papa... ♪
164
00:09:57,336 --> 00:09:59,436
♪ Can you hear me? ♪
165
00:10:01,069 --> 00:10:03,669
♪ Papa, can you see me? ♪
166
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:06,069
Does this song
sound familiar to you?
167
00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:10,267
May.
168
00:10:10,269 --> 00:10:14,236
Connor, if it's a boy.
May, if it's a girl.
169
00:10:16,769 --> 00:10:19,134
So weird.
170
00:10:19,136 --> 00:10:21,869
Family was always
an F-word to me.
171
00:10:23,069 --> 00:10:27,467
My pile of shit father
took off and bailed.
172
00:10:27,469 --> 00:10:29,867
I mean, it's not like I have
a lot of strong role models
173
00:10:29,869 --> 00:10:32,169
to draw off of for Todd.
174
00:10:33,203 --> 00:10:35,902
Hey. Look at me.
175
00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:39,169
You are not your father.
176
00:10:40,703 --> 00:10:42,000
Besides...
177
00:10:42,002 --> 00:10:47,069
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
178
00:10:47,869 --> 00:10:48,934
But here's the thing,
179
00:10:48,936 --> 00:10:50,336
isn't that how it always works?
180
00:10:50,869 --> 00:10:52,301
Like in Star Wars,
181
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:55,100
men are destined
to become their father...
182
00:10:55,102 --> 00:10:58,201
and then have consensual sex
with their sister?
183
00:10:58,203 --> 00:11:01,700
I think you missed
big, big chunks of that movie.
184
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,967
No, I'm pretty sure
Luke nailed her.
185
00:11:03,969 --> 00:11:06,234
Baby, that's Empire.
186
00:11:06,236 --> 00:11:08,902
The point is, kids...
187
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:13,002
they give us a chance
to be better than we are.
188
00:11:13,671 --> 00:11:16,434
Better than we used to be.
189
00:11:16,436 --> 00:11:18,936
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
190
00:11:19,769 --> 00:11:21,602
I'm gonna go make dessert.
191
00:11:21,604 --> 00:11:25,967
You get the strap-on.
Let's make a super baby.
192
00:11:25,969 --> 00:11:28,436
Pretty sure it doesn't work
that way, but we can try.
193
00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:33,100
What about Krystal?
But with a "K"?
194
00:11:33,102 --> 00:11:35,167
It's too stripper-y.
195
00:11:35,169 --> 00:11:36,602
Kevin with a "K"!
196
00:11:36,604 --> 00:11:38,869
No, too stripper-y, too.
197
00:11:39,336 --> 00:11:41,100
Uh, Earl!
198
00:11:41,102 --> 00:11:43,602
He's gonna go straight to jail
199
00:11:43,604 --> 00:11:45,800
if we name him Earl.
200
00:11:45,802 --> 00:11:47,902
What about Bruce?
201
00:11:48,902 --> 00:11:50,234
No.
202
00:11:50,236 --> 00:11:51,467
Get down.
203
00:11:51,469 --> 00:11:52,869
What?
204
00:12:21,403 --> 00:12:23,502
Baby? Baby?
205
00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,267
I'm okay.
206
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:31,067
Thank God I didn't have to use
the cream cheese spreader.
207
00:13:05,603 --> 00:13:07,036
Please.
208
00:13:12,102 --> 00:13:13,800
Please. Please.
209
00:13:13,802 --> 00:13:17,167
Baby, I'm so sorry.
210
00:13:17,169 --> 00:13:21,036
No!
211
00:16:26,003 --> 00:16:28,936
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
212
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,234
Is it just me, or does
213
00:16:31,236 --> 00:16:33,368
Do You Want to Build
a Snowman? from Frozen...
214
00:16:33,370 --> 00:16:34,767
sound suspiciously like
215
00:16:34,769 --> 00:16:36,967
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
From Yentl?
216
00:16:37,869 --> 00:16:40,535
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
217
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:44,267
And nobody fucking realizes it.
218
00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:47,500
Go home. You've been here
for three days, okay?
219
00:16:47,502 --> 00:16:49,734
You smell like somebody shit
in a Civil War wound...
220
00:16:49,736 --> 00:16:51,234
after it had become gangrenous.
221
00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:53,567
They should've just
amputated it. Why shit in it?
222
00:16:53,569 --> 00:16:55,201
Doesn't make any sense.
223
00:16:55,203 --> 00:16:56,800
I love Frozen.
224
00:16:56,802 --> 00:17:00,334
I loved her. I loved her
like an ocean loves water.
225
00:17:00,336 --> 00:17:01,734
An ocean is water.
226
00:17:01,736 --> 00:17:06,767
More importantly, I liked her.
I really liked her, you know?
227
00:17:06,769 --> 00:17:07,934
George Michael was right.
228
00:17:07,936 --> 00:17:10,401
I'm never
gonna dance again. Fuck!
229
00:17:10,403 --> 00:17:11,602
He's dead, too.
230
00:17:12,702 --> 00:17:14,700
At least we still have Bowie.
231
00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:18,769
Yeah. We still have Bowie.
232
00:17:19,236 --> 00:17:20,500
I'm sorry.
233
00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:21,834
Shot after shot,
234
00:17:21,836 --> 00:17:23,834
it's not gonna change the fact
that I think you're...
235
00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:25,234
Are you pissing? Are you
urinating right now?
236
00:17:25,236 --> 00:17:28,267
You're making the face that
you make when you urinate.
237
00:17:28,269 --> 00:17:30,167
- Is he pissing?
- I'm on it!
238
00:17:30,169 --> 00:17:31,500
There you go, Dopinder.
239
00:17:31,502 --> 00:17:33,468
If you want to be
a contract killer...
240
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,934
you gotta handle a mop
before you handle a gun.
241
00:17:35,936 --> 00:17:37,201
Although I don't
quite understand
242
00:17:37,203 --> 00:17:38,500
how they are at all similar.
243
00:17:38,502 --> 00:17:40,936
Well, they both have handles.
Now, leave me.
244
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,533
Go home, Wade.
245
00:17:43,535 --> 00:17:46,434
I don't have a home,
Weas, you know. I got a...
246
00:17:46,436 --> 00:17:48,935
Fuck! Okay, I'm fine.
247
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:49,800
I'm fine.
248
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,700
You know what "fine"
stands for, Wade?
249
00:17:51,702 --> 00:17:55,500
Fucked up, insecure,
needy, and emotional.
250
00:17:55,502 --> 00:17:56,902
According to the...
251
00:17:58,169 --> 00:17:59,567
- Kubler-Ross.
- Yeah.
252
00:17:59,569 --> 00:18:01,533
According to
the Kubler-Ross model...
253
00:18:01,535 --> 00:18:04,368
denial is just one of
the five stages of grief.
254
00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:06,667
Jesus Christ, Buck!
255
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,802
No more speaking lines for you.
256
00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:46,267
"I'm thinking it over!"
257
00:18:46,269 --> 00:18:47,734
Motherfuck!
258
00:18:47,736 --> 00:18:48,736
Fuck!
259
00:18:51,535 --> 00:18:53,234
The hell you doin' here?
260
00:18:53,236 --> 00:18:55,101
Don't you know how to knock?
261
00:18:55,103 --> 00:18:57,134
I thought you saw me...
262
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,533
with your ears.
263
00:18:58,535 --> 00:18:59,901
You're lucky I didn't
shoot you in the...
264
00:18:59,903 --> 00:19:00,834
The wall?
265
00:19:00,836 --> 00:19:04,535
The refrigerator?
I'm in so much pain.
266
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,734
I heard the news, sweetie.
267
00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:11,034
I'm very sorry. I am.
268
00:19:11,036 --> 00:19:12,834
What am I gonna do, Al?
269
00:19:12,836 --> 00:19:14,769
Probably something terrible.
270
00:19:15,903 --> 00:19:17,234
Knowing you.
271
00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:18,870
It was my fault.
272
00:19:20,036 --> 00:19:22,633
I fucking did this.
273
00:19:22,635 --> 00:19:24,700
And all I wanna do
is grab her and see her
274
00:19:24,702 --> 00:19:26,736
and tell her that I'm sorry,
and I can't.
275
00:19:28,903 --> 00:19:30,633
She's gone.
276
00:19:30,635 --> 00:19:34,334
Sweetheart, can you speak up?
277
00:19:34,336 --> 00:19:35,734
It's a little hard to hear you
278
00:19:35,736 --> 00:19:37,201
with that pity dick
in your mouth.
279
00:19:37,203 --> 00:19:40,401
Now, look, sugar.
You need to just keep living.
280
00:19:40,403 --> 00:19:41,633
Thank you...
281
00:19:41,635 --> 00:19:44,700
Matthew McConaughey,
your words are a treasure.
282
00:19:44,702 --> 00:19:46,800
Listen to the pain.
283
00:19:46,802 --> 00:19:49,633
It's both history teacher
and fortune teller.
284
00:19:49,635 --> 00:19:53,167
Pain teaches us
who we are, Wade.
285
00:19:53,169 --> 00:19:57,101
Sometimes, it's so bad,
we feel like we're dying.
286
00:19:57,103 --> 00:20:00,069
But we can't really live till
we've died a little, can we?
287
00:20:02,470 --> 00:20:03,837
Wade?
288
00:20:06,203 --> 00:20:08,267
- Wade?
- I'm right here, Althea.
289
00:20:08,269 --> 00:20:11,101
And that is
the most beautiful thing
290
00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:13,001
I've ever heard.
291
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,635
You're absolutely right.
292
00:20:18,370 --> 00:20:20,870
I'm about to do
something terrible.
293
00:20:24,569 --> 00:20:26,868
There. All caught up.
294
00:20:26,870 --> 00:20:29,801
You can't really live
until you've died a little.
295
00:20:29,803 --> 00:20:31,769
Let's test that theory,
shall we?
296
00:20:44,036 --> 00:20:46,600
Baby factory's open
for business.
297
00:20:50,036 --> 00:20:52,201
Your crazy matches my crazy.
298
00:20:52,203 --> 00:20:54,468
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
299
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:56,234
Skee-Ball token.
300
00:20:57,837 --> 00:21:00,967
Happy International Women's Day.
301
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,301
Listen,
I've been thinking a lot.
302
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,468
Really?
303
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:04,533
About why
we're so good together.
304
00:21:04,535 --> 00:21:05,967
I love you, Wade Wilson.
305
00:21:08,303 --> 00:21:09,837
Ness?
306
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:12,502
Ness?
307
00:21:13,169 --> 00:21:14,735
Ness.
308
00:21:14,737 --> 00:21:17,602
Ness, there's something here.
I can't get to you.
309
00:21:19,036 --> 00:21:21,700
Your heart's not
in the right place.
310
00:21:21,702 --> 00:21:24,434
Wait, hold on. What?
311
00:21:24,436 --> 00:21:26,500
Your heart's not
in the right place.
312
00:21:26,502 --> 00:21:27,735
Wait. What do you mean
313
00:21:27,737 --> 00:21:29,697
my heart's not in the right
place? What does it...
314
00:21:48,902 --> 00:21:51,600
I'm terribly sorry
for your loss, Wade.
315
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:53,301
You're broken.
316
00:21:53,303 --> 00:21:56,770
Oh, God. I know that voice.
317
00:22:00,436 --> 00:22:01,934
"Heart's in the right place."
318
00:22:01,936 --> 00:22:03,533
"Heart's in the right..."
What does that mean?
319
00:22:03,535 --> 00:22:05,401
You've been sleep
for three days.
320
00:22:05,403 --> 00:22:07,267
I took the liberty
of dressing you.
321
00:22:07,269 --> 00:22:08,533
No shit.
322
00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:10,500
Why can't I fucking die?
323
00:22:10,502 --> 00:22:12,134
Take your mask off, Wade.
324
00:22:12,136 --> 00:22:13,701
We must talk.
325
00:22:13,703 --> 00:22:16,234
You need fresh start.
326
00:22:16,236 --> 00:22:18,633
With training, you can be X-Man.
327
00:22:18,635 --> 00:22:20,768
You're wasting your time,
Shiny Jesus.
328
00:22:20,770 --> 00:22:22,234
I'm not X-Man material.
329
00:22:22,236 --> 00:22:23,902
Understatement of the year.
330
00:22:24,269 --> 00:22:25,269
Wade, Yukio.
331
00:22:25,836 --> 00:22:27,600
Yukio, Wade.
332
00:22:27,602 --> 00:22:29,834
What in the fuck knuckles
is this?
333
00:22:29,836 --> 00:22:32,468
She's my girlfriend,
you intolerant shit.
334
00:22:32,470 --> 00:22:34,434
Whoa! Pump the hate brakes,
Fox & Friends.
335
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,434
I'm just surprised
anyone would date you.
336
00:22:36,436 --> 00:22:39,167
Especially Pinkie Pie
from My Little Pony.
337
00:22:39,169 --> 00:22:41,067
I like this guy.
338
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:42,967
Give him a chance.
339
00:22:42,969 --> 00:22:44,267
It's great seeing you like this.
340
00:22:44,269 --> 00:22:46,602
Yeah.
341
00:22:46,969 --> 00:22:48,067
Bye, Wade!
342
00:22:48,069 --> 00:22:50,668
Now, some ground rules
while under our roof.
343
00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:53,533
"Rule number one. No killing...
344
00:22:53,535 --> 00:22:56,900
"anyone ever, no matter how bad.
345
00:22:56,902 --> 00:22:59,834
"Rule two. Label everything
in refrigerator."
346
00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:00,836
Wade?
347
00:23:01,737 --> 00:23:02,900
Wade?
348
00:23:02,902 --> 00:23:04,067
Wade!
349
00:23:04,069 --> 00:23:05,701
Don't try to chase me.
350
00:23:05,703 --> 00:23:08,067
I'm not ready
to be touched again.
351
00:23:08,069 --> 00:23:10,401
All these elderly white men
on the walls...
352
00:23:10,403 --> 00:23:12,234
Should have brought
my rape whistle.
353
00:23:12,236 --> 00:23:13,500
Hi.
354
00:23:13,502 --> 00:23:16,167
Those were already damaged
after they fell there!
355
00:23:16,169 --> 00:23:18,101
What am I supposed
to do around here, anyway?
356
00:23:18,103 --> 00:23:20,500
Sit in a share circle,
talk about my feelings?
357
00:23:20,502 --> 00:23:23,301
And how would I do that exactly?
358
00:23:23,303 --> 00:23:26,067
'Cause where the fuck
is everyone?
359
00:23:26,069 --> 00:23:27,067
It's always just you
360
00:23:27,069 --> 00:23:29,100
and Negasonic Teenage
Longest Name Ever...
361
00:23:29,102 --> 00:23:30,367
Enough!
362
00:23:30,369 --> 00:23:32,402
I said no touching!
363
00:23:34,003 --> 00:23:37,268
What the fuck?
364
00:23:37,270 --> 00:23:39,634
You'd think the studio
would throw us a bone.
365
00:23:39,636 --> 00:23:42,133
They can't just dust off
one of the famous X-Men?
366
00:23:42,135 --> 00:23:44,268
How 'bout that putz
with the giant pigeon wings?
367
00:23:44,270 --> 00:23:45,434
What do those do anyway, huh?
368
00:23:45,436 --> 00:23:46,968
Carry him
three feet off the ground
369
00:23:46,970 --> 00:23:49,034
to snatch up
the nearest muffin crumb?
370
00:23:49,036 --> 00:23:51,201
No, no, no!
371
00:23:51,203 --> 00:23:54,168
I am not X-Man material at all.
372
00:23:54,170 --> 00:23:56,567
First off...
373
00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:58,836
I'm not even a virgin.
Second and more...
374
00:24:00,970 --> 00:24:02,068
I should have left you
375
00:24:02,070 --> 00:24:03,934
in the self-pitying mess
I found you in.
376
00:24:03,936 --> 00:24:06,968
But this is what friends do.
They show up!
377
00:24:06,970 --> 00:24:09,001
Not when convenient or easy.
378
00:24:09,003 --> 00:24:13,334
When hard,
and you always make it hard.
379
00:24:13,336 --> 00:24:15,767
You are unwell.
380
00:24:15,769 --> 00:24:18,068
I'm sticking my neck out
bringing you here.
381
00:24:18,070 --> 00:24:19,934
Wait. One of the assholes
382
00:24:19,936 --> 00:24:21,536
who killed Vanessa got away.
383
00:24:24,003 --> 00:24:26,367
Oh, Jesus Christ!
384
00:24:26,369 --> 00:24:28,534
Wade, whoever they are...
385
00:24:28,536 --> 00:24:31,569
we track them down
and bring them to justice.
386
00:24:31,903 --> 00:24:33,369
It was me.
387
00:24:36,236 --> 00:24:38,801
I'm the asshole who got away.
388
00:24:38,803 --> 00:24:42,001
I killed every last one
of them, except me.
389
00:24:42,003 --> 00:24:43,769
Couldn't kill me.
390
00:24:47,003 --> 00:24:49,203
We were gonna start a family.
391
00:24:50,836 --> 00:24:52,834
We were, uh...
392
00:24:54,003 --> 00:24:56,601
We were gonna be a family.
393
00:24:56,603 --> 00:24:57,534
Wade...
394
00:24:57,536 --> 00:25:00,536
Vanessa is gone.
She's not coming back.
395
00:25:02,003 --> 00:25:04,300
This may not be
family you want...
396
00:25:04,302 --> 00:25:06,867
but it's family you need.
397
00:25:06,869 --> 00:25:08,134
You have a good heart.
398
00:25:08,136 --> 00:25:09,769
It belongs here
where it can grow.
399
00:25:11,603 --> 00:25:12,636
What did you say?
400
00:25:14,636 --> 00:25:16,103
About my heart?
401
00:25:21,302 --> 00:25:23,502
I think I'm in the right place.
402
00:26:37,803 --> 00:26:38,803
Wade.
403
00:26:39,402 --> 00:26:40,801
Wade!
404
00:26:40,803 --> 00:26:43,934
Hey, I was just taking Cerebro
for a spin here...
405
00:26:43,936 --> 00:26:45,734
looking deep into the future.
406
00:26:45,736 --> 00:26:47,035
Phew. This thing...
407
00:26:47,037 --> 00:26:48,934
- That's not how Cerebro works.
- That's not how Cerebro works.
408
00:26:48,936 --> 00:26:50,934
Yes. Yes, it is.
409
00:26:50,936 --> 00:26:52,701
- We have mission.
- We have mission.
410
00:26:52,703 --> 00:26:54,667
We do. You do.
411
00:26:54,669 --> 00:26:55,767
You guys be safe out there.
412
00:26:55,769 --> 00:26:58,736
- No, I want you to join.
- No, you want me to join.
413
00:27:00,235 --> 00:27:01,667
I'm sorry, what?
414
00:27:01,669 --> 00:27:03,134
You are ready.
415
00:27:03,136 --> 00:27:04,667
That's a terrible idea,
and it's gonna end badly.
416
00:27:04,669 --> 00:27:06,934
You wanna know how I know?
I'll give you a hint.
417
00:27:06,936 --> 00:27:08,069
It's on my head
418
00:27:08,071 --> 00:27:10,167
and smells like Patrick Stewart.
419
00:27:10,169 --> 00:27:12,069
Be at the X-Jet in five.
420
00:27:15,037 --> 00:27:17,567
Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.
421
00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:19,534
Live here
at a breaking news situation
422
00:27:19,536 --> 00:27:22,334
at the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation.
423
00:27:22,336 --> 00:27:24,300
A mutant boy
is appearing to have
424
00:27:24,302 --> 00:27:25,667
some sort of an incident...
425
00:27:25,669 --> 00:27:27,434
- with police here behind me.
- Get away from me!
426
00:27:27,436 --> 00:27:29,969
There are two police vehicles
that are overturned.
427
00:27:29,971 --> 00:27:31,334
- There are open fires.
- Fuck off! Stay back!
428
00:27:31,336 --> 00:27:32,601
A scene of absolute chaos here.
429
00:27:32,603 --> 00:27:33,500
Calm down.
430
00:27:33,502 --> 00:27:36,469
I'll burn you! You stay back!
431
00:27:37,037 --> 00:27:38,701
Get away from me!
432
00:27:38,703 --> 00:27:41,469
You wanna fucking die?
433
00:27:56,202 --> 00:27:59,601
And it appears as if the X-Men
are arriving...
434
00:27:59,603 --> 00:28:01,069
Scatter!
435
00:28:01,071 --> 00:28:02,901
With what appears
to be a trainee.
436
00:28:02,903 --> 00:28:06,133
Everyone, calm down!
The pros are here. I...
437
00:28:06,135 --> 00:28:07,400
We're the X-Men!
438
00:28:07,402 --> 00:28:09,969
A dated metaphor for racism
in the '60s.
439
00:28:09,971 --> 00:28:11,869
So, respect.
440
00:28:12,636 --> 00:28:13,836
At ease, Officer.
441
00:28:15,302 --> 00:28:17,135
What are you doing?
442
00:28:17,502 --> 00:28:18,567
My job!
443
00:28:18,569 --> 00:28:20,133
You're the one who said
I was ready,
444
00:28:20,135 --> 00:28:21,567
and I frankly disagreed
with you.
445
00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:24,133
But here we are, trying to
overcome our differences.
446
00:28:24,135 --> 00:28:26,669
Like Beyonce says, "Please...
447
00:28:27,336 --> 00:28:28,834
"Please, stop cheating on me."
448
00:28:28,836 --> 00:28:29,969
Hey!
449
00:28:29,971 --> 00:28:31,300
This is the fifth incident.
450
00:28:31,302 --> 00:28:33,701
This kid needs to be
in the Ice Box, not here.
451
00:28:33,703 --> 00:28:35,334
Russell belongs in our care.
452
00:28:35,336 --> 00:28:37,133
Not in prison. I assure you...
453
00:28:37,135 --> 00:28:38,267
we have everything
under control.
454
00:28:38,269 --> 00:28:39,567
Stay back! I'll burn you!
455
00:28:39,569 --> 00:28:40,601
Not getting a real
456
00:28:40,603 --> 00:28:42,867
"under control"
vibe here, Marty.
457
00:28:42,869 --> 00:28:44,734
- It is Glen, isn't it?
- Daniel.
458
00:28:44,736 --> 00:28:47,267
I'll ask the questions.
Let me talk to the kid.
459
00:28:47,269 --> 00:28:51,603
You stay here with your weird,
secret sex lips.
460
00:28:53,669 --> 00:28:54,801
You wanna die?
461
00:28:54,803 --> 00:28:55,734
This kid's adorable.
462
00:28:55,736 --> 00:28:57,002
I don't know why I packed
the hollow points.
463
00:28:57,004 --> 00:28:58,400
I'll burn your balls off!
464
00:28:58,402 --> 00:29:01,902
First day. I'm so nervous!
465
00:29:01,904 --> 00:29:03,701
Did you just say
"hollow points"?
466
00:29:03,703 --> 00:29:04,902
Yeah, probably should've
467
00:29:04,904 --> 00:29:07,135
brought a Super Soaker.
468
00:29:07,636 --> 00:29:08,636
Hi, there!
469
00:29:09,836 --> 00:29:12,267
Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!
470
00:29:12,269 --> 00:29:15,836
Justin Bieber.
He called you Justin Bieber.
471
00:29:17,102 --> 00:29:18,935
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
472
00:29:18,937 --> 00:29:22,034
Okay, let's not do
whatever that is.
473
00:29:22,036 --> 00:29:23,634
Okay? Let's just talk!
474
00:29:23,636 --> 00:29:25,200
It's Russell, right?
475
00:29:25,202 --> 00:29:27,434
- Firefist.
- Firefist.
476
00:29:27,436 --> 00:29:29,667
Ooh, that's a great name.
Where does it burn?
477
00:29:29,669 --> 00:29:31,469
Just the fist, or all the
way up to the elbow?
478
00:29:36,369 --> 00:29:39,001
Definitely
all the way up to the elbow.
479
00:29:39,003 --> 00:29:41,667
Come quietly,
or there will be trouble.
480
00:29:41,669 --> 00:29:44,734
- You stole that from Robocop!
- That's from Robocop!
481
00:29:44,736 --> 00:29:46,267
Just stand down!
482
00:29:46,269 --> 00:29:48,567
You're embarrassing me.
Look, Fire...
483
00:29:49,636 --> 00:29:52,434
Oh, my God! I can't say it!
I'm so sorry!
484
00:29:56,837 --> 00:30:00,868
Oh, shit! That fucking does it!
485
00:30:00,870 --> 00:30:02,200
Put your hands behind your knees
486
00:30:02,202 --> 00:30:03,902
and get down on your head! Now!
487
00:30:03,904 --> 00:30:06,100
Wade! What was first rule?
488
00:30:06,102 --> 00:30:07,902
Label everything
in the refrigerator!
489
00:30:07,904 --> 00:30:10,667
- Do not escalate!
- Rules are meant to be broken!
490
00:30:10,669 --> 00:30:12,233
That's the exact opposite
491
00:30:12,235 --> 00:30:13,736
of what they're meant for!
492
00:30:14,669 --> 00:30:16,467
Fuck! Fine!
493
00:30:16,469 --> 00:30:18,200
I'll start from the beginning.
494
00:30:18,202 --> 00:30:20,767
My name is Deadpool,
and I'm an X-Man.
495
00:30:20,769 --> 00:30:22,703
- Trainee!
- Shut it!
496
00:30:23,636 --> 00:30:25,870
Look, I get it.
497
00:30:27,003 --> 00:30:28,703
All right, you're scared.
498
00:30:29,336 --> 00:30:30,233
Alone.
499
00:30:30,235 --> 00:30:31,334
You got no family.
500
00:30:31,336 --> 00:30:32,400
I didn't have a family, either.
501
00:30:32,402 --> 00:30:34,200
You live in this dump.
Guess what?
502
00:30:34,202 --> 00:30:36,701
I used to live
in a shithole just like it.
503
00:30:36,703 --> 00:30:39,434
But you know something?
To make matters worse...
504
00:30:39,436 --> 00:30:41,300
it's a confusing time
in your life right now.
505
00:30:41,302 --> 00:30:45,034
Your body is going through
some fiery changes.
506
00:30:45,036 --> 00:30:47,001
Too far?
I went too far, didn't I?
507
00:30:54,169 --> 00:30:56,200
That was effervescent.
508
00:30:56,202 --> 00:30:58,634
Stay in school, kid.
509
00:30:58,636 --> 00:31:00,434
Or don't. I didn't.
510
00:31:00,436 --> 00:31:02,334
And I'm an X-Man.
511
00:31:02,336 --> 00:31:03,467
Trainee.
512
00:31:03,469 --> 00:31:04,701
Fuck it!
513
00:31:04,703 --> 00:31:06,502
Superhero landing coming up!
514
00:31:10,135 --> 00:31:11,802
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!
515
00:31:11,804 --> 00:31:13,835
That is so not practical.
516
00:31:34,402 --> 00:31:36,400
I could get used
to this X-Man shit.
517
00:31:36,402 --> 00:31:37,701
Trainee!
518
00:31:37,703 --> 00:31:38,667
Trainee!
519
00:31:38,669 --> 00:31:40,601
Get a power restraint
on him. Now!
520
00:31:40,603 --> 00:31:43,869
Calm down, squirt.
It's over. We got ya.
521
00:31:45,804 --> 00:31:47,267
What's that do?
522
00:31:47,269 --> 00:31:48,901
Power-dampening collar.
523
00:31:48,903 --> 00:31:50,200
Shuts down all mutant abilities.
524
00:31:50,202 --> 00:31:52,835
You can't get it off.
Unless you've got a grenade.
525
00:31:52,837 --> 00:31:56,133
Huh. Could've used
one of those in the first act.
526
00:31:56,135 --> 00:31:57,502
Thank you!
527
00:31:59,102 --> 00:32:01,601
That was absolutely thrilling.
528
00:32:01,603 --> 00:32:03,735
True heroism in action.
529
00:32:03,737 --> 00:32:05,469
We are in your debt.
530
00:32:06,102 --> 00:32:07,901
We can take it from here.
531
00:32:07,903 --> 00:32:10,100
Take me to the Ice Box, please!
532
00:32:10,102 --> 00:32:11,367
Anywhere's better than here.
533
00:32:11,369 --> 00:32:12,534
Believe me, son,
534
00:32:12,536 --> 00:32:14,200
you do not wanna go
to the Ice Box.
535
00:32:14,202 --> 00:32:16,233
Let's get you inside, young man.
536
00:32:16,235 --> 00:32:18,233
No, wait, wait. Wait.
537
00:32:18,235 --> 00:32:19,836
You guys stay there.
538
00:32:29,836 --> 00:32:31,536
Those guys hurt you?
539
00:32:32,869 --> 00:32:34,102
Who?
540
00:32:35,936 --> 00:32:38,670
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?
541
00:32:40,036 --> 00:32:41,636
Both of 'em?
542
00:32:45,737 --> 00:32:47,001
Oh, fuck it.
543
00:32:47,003 --> 00:32:48,668
Four or five moments!
544
00:32:48,670 --> 00:32:49,735
I'm sorry?
545
00:32:49,737 --> 00:32:53,102
Four or five moments!
546
00:32:54,102 --> 00:32:57,102
That's all it takes
to be a hero.
547
00:32:57,936 --> 00:33:00,200
People think
you wake up a hero...
548
00:33:00,202 --> 00:33:02,367
brush your teeth a hero...
549
00:33:02,369 --> 00:33:05,534
ejaculate into
a soap dispenser a hero.
550
00:33:06,603 --> 00:33:10,603
But, no, being a hero
takes only a few moments!
551
00:33:11,869 --> 00:33:13,500
A few moments...
552
00:33:13,502 --> 00:33:16,400
doing the ugly stuff
no one else will do.
553
00:33:19,737 --> 00:33:20,836
No!
554
00:33:23,369 --> 00:33:24,867
Stand down! Hold your fire!
555
00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:27,100
- Wade, what did you do?
- Colossus, no!
556
00:33:27,102 --> 00:33:28,534
That kid was abused!
You can tell.
557
00:33:28,536 --> 00:33:30,233
- You can always tell!
- We have rules!
558
00:33:30,235 --> 00:33:33,100
You are not judge,
jury or executioner!
559
00:33:33,102 --> 00:33:36,100
Fuck your rules!
I fight for what's right!
560
00:33:36,102 --> 00:33:37,702
And sometimes
you gotta fight dirty!
561
00:33:37,704 --> 00:33:41,235
You let me down
for the last time, Wade.
562
00:33:44,135 --> 00:33:46,400
Okay, get these guys in the pod.
563
00:33:46,402 --> 00:33:49,001
Take them to the Ice Box.
564
00:34:10,204 --> 00:34:11,204
Hey, baby!
565
00:34:12,069 --> 00:34:14,501
I wonder what gang I'll be in.
566
00:34:14,503 --> 00:34:15,900
Yeah!
567
00:34:15,902 --> 00:34:18,303
- Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
- Hi.
568
00:34:20,204 --> 00:34:21,204
Go!
569
00:34:24,369 --> 00:34:25,769
Hard left, douchebag.
570
00:34:29,902 --> 00:34:32,135
Please, after you.
571
00:34:32,137 --> 00:34:34,534
Another disgusting mutant
off the streets.
572
00:34:34,536 --> 00:34:35,668
God bless America.
573
00:34:35,670 --> 00:34:36,934
Let's get a taco.
574
00:34:40,536 --> 00:34:43,204
Nighty-night,
you annoying prick!
575
00:35:15,204 --> 00:35:18,467
I'mma tell you
what the big lie is.
576
00:35:18,469 --> 00:35:20,135
Toilet paper.
577
00:35:20,137 --> 00:35:23,534
Toilet paper
is a plenty fine appetizer.
578
00:35:23,536 --> 00:35:25,733
But, then...
579
00:35:25,735 --> 00:35:28,301
Huggies Natural Care wet wipes.
580
00:35:28,303 --> 00:35:29,700
That's your main course.
581
00:35:29,702 --> 00:35:33,334
They're soft, they're moist.
They're for babies.
582
00:35:33,336 --> 00:35:36,634
Finally, one more pass
with the toilet paper,
583
00:35:36,636 --> 00:35:38,234
maybe clear out
that excess moisture.
584
00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:39,934
Maybe treat yourself
to a blow and go,
585
00:35:39,936 --> 00:35:41,202
if you can get you a hair dryer.
586
00:35:41,204 --> 00:35:43,869
Just about 30 seconds
will do you good.
587
00:35:47,436 --> 00:35:48,436
The fuck?
588
00:35:49,636 --> 00:35:50,869
Year?
589
00:35:51,670 --> 00:35:52,869
What?
590
00:35:53,802 --> 00:35:55,634
What year is it?
591
00:35:55,636 --> 00:35:57,700
What kind of dumb-ass
question is that to ask?
592
00:36:16,902 --> 00:36:19,401
You're a long way
from your superpowers.
593
00:36:19,403 --> 00:36:20,568
Yeah.
594
00:36:24,236 --> 00:36:25,367
Fuck!
595
00:36:25,369 --> 00:36:27,135
I wanted to be a superhero.
596
00:36:27,137 --> 00:36:29,401
Always wanted a real super suit.
597
00:36:29,403 --> 00:36:31,068
What happened?
598
00:36:31,070 --> 00:36:33,190
When was the last time you saw
a plus-sized superhero?
599
00:36:33,702 --> 00:36:35,334
Never.
600
00:36:35,336 --> 00:36:37,733
The industry discriminates.
601
00:36:37,735 --> 00:36:39,469
Fuck superheroes.
602
00:36:40,137 --> 00:36:41,334
Fuck everyone.
603
00:36:41,336 --> 00:36:44,434
The first thing I wanna do
when I get out of here...
604
00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:46,501
burn the headmaster alive...
605
00:36:46,503 --> 00:36:50,001
and then take a selfie
with his smoldering corpse.
606
00:36:50,003 --> 00:36:52,267
Who says
prison isn't reformative?
607
00:36:52,269 --> 00:36:54,070
Fucker hates mutants.
608
00:36:54,869 --> 00:36:56,434
Blessed are the wicked
609
00:36:56,436 --> 00:36:58,702
who are healed by my hand.
610
00:36:59,137 --> 00:37:00,369
Your abilities.
611
00:37:01,769 --> 00:37:04,167
I know how seductive they are.
612
00:37:06,369 --> 00:37:07,700
Now, please don't cry.
613
00:37:14,403 --> 00:37:18,303
Tomorrow, we'll find
the biggest guy in here...
614
00:37:18,902 --> 00:37:20,234
and we'll make him our...
615
00:37:24,003 --> 00:37:25,501
What was that?
616
00:37:25,503 --> 00:37:28,001
That is the biggest guy in here.
617
00:37:28,003 --> 00:37:30,301
Fun fact about the Ice Box...
618
00:37:30,303 --> 00:37:32,001
though no one's ever seen it,
619
00:37:32,003 --> 00:37:34,401
they keep a monster
in the basement.
620
00:37:34,403 --> 00:37:36,035
Right next to a huge,
621
00:37:36,037 --> 00:37:37,869
steaming bowl of foreshadowing.
622
00:37:38,369 --> 00:37:39,369
Look.
623
00:37:40,369 --> 00:37:42,601
I can't protect you.
624
00:37:42,603 --> 00:37:43,767
With this collar on,
625
00:37:43,769 --> 00:37:46,900
my superpower
is just unbridled cancer.
626
00:37:46,902 --> 00:37:50,501
Give me a bow and arrow,
I'm basically Hawkeye.
627
00:37:50,503 --> 00:37:52,601
Now, if you'll excuse me...
628
00:37:52,603 --> 00:37:55,867
I've got tumors to grow.
Vanessa awaits.
629
00:37:55,869 --> 00:37:58,167
I'll start by making us a shank.
630
00:37:58,169 --> 00:38:00,167
- Good listening.
- I stole that guard's pen...
631
00:38:00,169 --> 00:38:02,434
and stashed it
in the old prison wallet,
632
00:38:02,436 --> 00:38:04,467
if you know what I'm saying.
633
00:38:04,469 --> 00:38:06,968
Prison wallet?
634
00:38:06,970 --> 00:38:09,403
I really hope I don't know
what you're saying.
635
00:38:11,636 --> 00:38:14,534
I can hear you
rummaging around in there.
636
00:38:18,902 --> 00:38:20,434
And to update you
637
00:38:20,436 --> 00:38:21,833
on the story reported earlier,
638
00:38:21,835 --> 00:38:23,267
after a lengthy standoff
639
00:38:23,269 --> 00:38:26,067
outside the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation...
640
00:38:26,069 --> 00:38:27,568
two mutants were arrested
641
00:38:27,570 --> 00:38:29,201
and transported
to the Ice Box...
642
00:38:29,203 --> 00:38:30,903
Entering repair mode.
643
00:38:35,069 --> 00:38:36,401
Several
police cars were destroyed
644
00:38:36,403 --> 00:38:38,802
and the X-Men were called in
to restore order.
645
00:38:59,735 --> 00:39:01,767
Cells seven and nine
646
00:39:01,769 --> 00:39:05,301
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
647
00:39:05,303 --> 00:39:06,733
Cells seven and nine
648
00:39:06,735 --> 00:39:09,369
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
649
00:39:11,336 --> 00:39:12,835
Psst!
650
00:39:15,203 --> 00:39:17,167
Don't do that.
651
00:39:17,169 --> 00:39:20,334
What? Why are you winking at me?
652
00:39:24,203 --> 00:39:25,501
I got your back.
653
00:39:25,503 --> 00:39:26,700
Oh, my God.
654
00:39:26,702 --> 00:39:28,201
You're sick,
I gotta protect you.
655
00:39:28,203 --> 00:39:30,303
Just leave me alone, kid.
656
00:39:31,303 --> 00:39:32,369
Oh, great.
657
00:39:34,036 --> 00:39:36,700
Well, hello there, new fish.
658
00:39:36,702 --> 00:39:39,767
It's nice to see some
fresh faces around here.
659
00:39:39,769 --> 00:39:42,000
I've done some
light catalog work...
660
00:39:42,002 --> 00:39:44,634
but, really, modeling is just
a stepping stone to acting.
661
00:39:44,636 --> 00:39:47,301
- I was talking to him.
- Oh.
662
00:39:47,303 --> 00:39:50,834
Have we met?
I can't place your mustache.
663
00:39:50,836 --> 00:39:53,401
- Black Tom Cassidy.
- White Wade Wilson.
664
00:39:53,403 --> 00:39:56,935
What's your superpower?
Cultural appropriation?
665
00:39:56,937 --> 00:39:59,668
You're supposed to be
the toughest cunt in here.
666
00:39:59,670 --> 00:40:02,067
You don't look like much to me.
667
00:40:02,069 --> 00:40:04,767
First rule of the yard,
fuckface...
668
00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:06,767
find the biggest guy
and make him your...
669
00:40:10,702 --> 00:40:12,901
Second biggest guy.
670
00:40:12,903 --> 00:40:15,201
The last thing I need
is more hepatitis.
671
00:40:15,203 --> 00:40:18,767
Oh, it's slippery, too.
This table needs a wipe down!
672
00:40:18,769 --> 00:40:20,767
Can we get a wipe down
on the table?
673
00:40:21,937 --> 00:40:24,134
Kid, I think you picked
the wrong side.
674
00:40:24,136 --> 00:40:26,733
No, I didn't! He's my friend!
675
00:40:26,735 --> 00:40:29,036
Zip it. We're not friends.
676
00:40:30,603 --> 00:40:31,883
You're about to get
dick-slapped.
677
00:40:44,236 --> 00:40:46,134
I had so much fun!
You were like...
678
00:40:46,136 --> 00:40:48,367
And I was like,
"Take a seat, shit dick."
679
00:40:48,369 --> 00:40:50,000
Just let me die in peace.
680
00:40:50,002 --> 00:40:52,234
We make a great team!
681
00:40:52,236 --> 00:40:54,868
Oh, God! We're not a team.
682
00:40:54,870 --> 00:40:59,034
Why'd you say that back there?
We're friends, partners.
683
00:40:59,036 --> 00:41:01,870
We're not partners or friends.
684
00:41:03,002 --> 00:41:05,201
This doesn't end with us
riding into the sunset.
685
00:41:05,203 --> 00:41:07,367
It ends with me
dying of cancer...
686
00:41:07,369 --> 00:41:11,401
and you winning the Ice Box
award for softest mouth.
687
00:41:12,736 --> 00:41:14,501
There's only one person
in this world
688
00:41:14,503 --> 00:41:16,269
that I care about,
and she's gone.
689
00:41:17,902 --> 00:41:21,067
You wanna survive?
690
00:41:21,069 --> 00:41:24,434
Stop trying to shank
the biggest guys in here...
691
00:41:24,436 --> 00:41:26,436
and make friends with them.
692
00:41:27,670 --> 00:41:29,336
Make friends with someone.
693
00:41:30,303 --> 00:41:32,469
Anyone but me.
694
00:41:33,336 --> 00:41:35,803
Maybe even Black Tim.
695
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:38,034
Black Evan, I don't know.
696
00:41:38,036 --> 00:41:40,836
All I remember is
he was African-American.
697
00:42:26,736 --> 00:42:29,034
System malfunctioning.
698
00:42:29,036 --> 00:42:32,067
Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.
699
00:42:32,069 --> 00:42:34,667
Back in your cells, you filthy mutants!
Get in there!
700
00:42:34,669 --> 00:42:38,036
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.
701
00:42:39,003 --> 00:42:40,702
Searching.
702
00:42:42,069 --> 00:42:44,669
Cell 04 located.
703
00:42:45,936 --> 00:42:47,867
Door won't open!
704
00:42:47,869 --> 00:42:49,769
On your fucking knees!
705
00:43:26,471 --> 00:43:28,236
That was our cell.
706
00:43:30,136 --> 00:43:32,567
What did I do to piss off
a grumpy old fucker
707
00:43:32,569 --> 00:43:33,902
with a Winter Soldier arm?
708
00:43:43,471 --> 00:43:45,069
Get away from me, kid!
709
00:43:52,437 --> 00:43:53,902
Listen to me! Go!
710
00:43:59,136 --> 00:44:00,736
Hello, Russell.
711
00:45:24,169 --> 00:45:25,635
Hello, superpowers.
712
00:45:43,535 --> 00:45:44,736
Who are you?
713
00:45:45,470 --> 00:45:46,836
I'm Batman.
714
00:45:58,103 --> 00:45:59,103
Ooh!
715
00:46:03,736 --> 00:46:06,836
Oh. That's got some zip.
716
00:46:14,769 --> 00:46:18,335
Don't feel bad.
Even I can't kill me.
717
00:46:18,337 --> 00:46:19,800
Talk!
718
00:46:19,802 --> 00:46:21,667
What kind of
spineless shit stick
719
00:46:21,669 --> 00:46:23,502
tries to kill a 14-year-old boy?
720
00:46:24,403 --> 00:46:25,734
You might wanna start talking!
721
00:46:25,736 --> 00:46:28,602
'Cause I got a long history of
firing at times like this!
722
00:46:29,669 --> 00:46:31,667
The name's Cable.
723
00:46:31,669 --> 00:46:35,134
I'm from the future.
Just walk away.
724
00:46:35,136 --> 00:46:36,434
Oh!
725
00:46:36,436 --> 00:46:38,434
So, you're from the future.
726
00:46:38,436 --> 00:46:40,434
I have three questions then.
727
00:46:40,436 --> 00:46:43,934
One, is dubstep still a thing?
728
00:46:43,936 --> 00:46:46,967
Two, which Sharknado are we on?
729
00:46:46,969 --> 00:46:49,934
And three, at what point
do audiences say...
730
00:46:49,936 --> 00:46:51,270
"Enough with the robotic arms"?
731
00:47:34,569 --> 00:47:36,633
Dubstep's for pussies.
732
00:47:36,635 --> 00:47:37,900
You're so dark!
733
00:47:37,902 --> 00:47:40,069
Are you sure you're not
from the DC universe?
734
00:47:40,969 --> 00:47:42,468
I love dubstep!
735
00:48:08,470 --> 00:48:09,900
Is that a fanny pack?
736
00:48:09,902 --> 00:48:13,567
I used to have one of those
in 1990-never.
737
00:48:13,569 --> 00:48:15,700
Something to remember you by.
738
00:48:15,702 --> 00:48:19,533
Give me that back!
That goes with me everywhere.
739
00:48:19,535 --> 00:48:22,036
Like the memory
of your fucking fanny pack!
740
00:48:31,569 --> 00:48:33,900
Why are you protecting the kid?
741
00:48:34,902 --> 00:48:37,368
I don't give a fuck about him...
742
00:48:37,370 --> 00:48:39,902
and his Are You My Mother?
Complex!
743
00:48:42,370 --> 00:48:43,769
What's this one do?
744
00:48:57,502 --> 00:48:59,034
In every film, there's a moment
745
00:48:59,036 --> 00:49:01,567
when the hero hits rock bottom.
746
00:49:01,569 --> 00:49:03,567
In Cool Runnings,
it was when John Candy's
747
00:49:03,569 --> 00:49:05,267
prized bobsled broke.
748
00:49:05,269 --> 00:49:08,533
In Human Centipede,
it was when those people...
749
00:49:08,535 --> 00:49:10,334
signed on to be in that movie.
750
00:49:10,336 --> 00:49:12,368
But in this film, well...
751
00:49:12,370 --> 00:49:13,700
you're looking at it.
752
00:49:13,702 --> 00:49:15,702
On your fucking knees, mutant.
753
00:49:18,370 --> 00:49:19,569
Rock...
754
00:49:23,403 --> 00:49:25,003
meet bottom.
755
00:49:35,470 --> 00:49:36,867
I love you, Wade Wilson.
756
00:49:36,869 --> 00:49:38,070
Ness?
757
00:49:39,070 --> 00:49:40,635
Hey, Ness!
758
00:49:41,336 --> 00:49:43,168
Ness, can you let me in?
759
00:49:43,170 --> 00:49:45,502
Please! Please.
760
00:49:47,336 --> 00:49:48,468
Jesus.
761
00:49:51,370 --> 00:49:53,201
You're not giving me
a lot of direction here.
762
00:49:53,203 --> 00:49:55,102
I'm at the end of my rope.
763
00:49:57,436 --> 00:49:59,767
Then I joined the X-Men.
764
00:49:59,769 --> 00:50:01,836
I went to prison. I, uh...
765
00:50:05,902 --> 00:50:07,502
Is it the kid?
766
00:50:09,137 --> 00:50:12,269
Kids give us a chance to be
better than we used to be.
767
00:50:13,602 --> 00:50:14,802
The kid!
768
00:50:28,303 --> 00:50:29,867
That's exactly what she meant.
769
00:50:29,869 --> 00:50:31,401
Your heart needs to be
in the right place.
770
00:50:31,403 --> 00:50:33,201
I'm not gonna abandon this kid.
771
00:50:33,203 --> 00:50:36,002
He's never had anyone, ever.
772
00:50:36,004 --> 00:50:37,301
I need to be selfless.
773
00:50:37,303 --> 00:50:39,301
Yeah, but what does that mean?
774
00:50:39,303 --> 00:50:42,600
It means I'm gonna save Russell.
775
00:50:42,602 --> 00:50:44,068
Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa...
776
00:50:44,070 --> 00:50:47,167
but maybe I can save a robust
teenager from New Zealand.
777
00:50:47,169 --> 00:50:49,368
Yeah, but what I mean is,
like, the world "selfless."
778
00:50:49,370 --> 00:50:51,035
I literally don't know
what that means.
779
00:50:51,037 --> 00:50:52,002
Jesus Christ.
780
00:50:52,004 --> 00:50:54,834
Okay, look.
According to my guy, okay...
781
00:50:54,836 --> 00:50:56,934
those muties
are being transferred
782
00:50:56,936 --> 00:50:58,600
to a supermax, 80 miles away.
783
00:50:58,602 --> 00:51:00,500
Great, I'll pick 'em off
along the way.
784
00:51:00,502 --> 00:51:02,667
Hold your testicles there,
buddy, okay?
785
00:51:02,669 --> 00:51:04,700
We're talking about
an armored convoy...
786
00:51:04,702 --> 00:51:06,900
and a vicious super soldier
from the future...
787
00:51:06,902 --> 00:51:09,767
that is looking to turn your
skull into a fuckable ashtray.
788
00:51:09,769 --> 00:51:11,334
You know what we need to do?
789
00:51:11,336 --> 00:51:13,267
We need to build a fucking team.
790
00:51:13,269 --> 00:51:15,434
We need 'em tough,
morally flexible...
791
00:51:15,436 --> 00:51:16,734
and young enough
so they can carry
792
00:51:16,736 --> 00:51:18,201
this franchise 10 to 12 years.
793
00:51:18,203 --> 00:51:19,937
My body is an
instrument of death.
794
00:51:21,103 --> 00:51:22,600
Not now, Dopinder.
795
00:51:22,602 --> 00:51:24,667
I could be of great use.
796
00:51:24,669 --> 00:51:26,535
What's your superpower?
797
00:51:27,802 --> 00:51:29,600
- Courage.
- That's adorable.
798
00:51:29,602 --> 00:51:31,201
Do you have the courage
to check and see...
799
00:51:31,203 --> 00:51:33,935
if there are enough sanitary
napkins in the dispenser?
800
00:51:33,937 --> 00:51:34,800
Yes, sir.
801
00:51:34,802 --> 00:51:36,267
I'm sorry you had to see that,
802
00:51:36,269 --> 00:51:38,567
although I'm glad you heard it.
803
00:51:38,569 --> 00:51:40,533
All right, I'll put out
a call for resumes.
804
00:51:40,535 --> 00:51:42,767
But we're not paying
medical or dental.
805
00:51:42,769 --> 00:51:45,004
It's time to get back
on Linkedln.
806
00:52:22,802 --> 00:52:26,334
Transport
will begin at 0800 hours...
807
00:52:26,336 --> 00:52:27,434
Oi.
808
00:52:27,436 --> 00:52:28,834
What the fuck do you want?
809
00:52:28,836 --> 00:52:30,800
That's my fucking pudding.
810
00:52:30,802 --> 00:52:32,700
- Fuck your pudding!
- You like pudding?
811
00:52:54,069 --> 00:52:55,069
Hello?
812
00:52:57,303 --> 00:52:59,769
I know you're in there.
813
00:53:15,236 --> 00:53:17,837
Must be hard being the
biggest guy in here.
814
00:53:18,736 --> 00:53:21,201
Lonely at the top, eh?
815
00:53:21,203 --> 00:53:23,169
They're moving us tomorrow.
816
00:53:25,535 --> 00:53:28,533
Maybe I can get you out of here.
817
00:53:28,535 --> 00:53:31,870
And we can make
the whole world our bitch.
818
00:53:33,535 --> 00:53:35,535
We need a secret code.
819
00:53:38,403 --> 00:53:41,203
No,
that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.
820
00:53:48,269 --> 00:53:49,734
We're a team.
821
00:53:49,736 --> 00:53:51,734
We're like thugs,
we're like gangsters.
822
00:53:51,736 --> 00:53:55,700
I'm like Tupac,
and you're like Ice Cube.
823
00:53:55,702 --> 00:53:58,134
Supposedly, she can rap, too.
824
00:53:58,136 --> 00:53:59,001
I like that.
825
00:53:59,003 --> 00:54:00,868
Terrific,
these are all terrific.
826
00:54:00,870 --> 00:54:02,500
Meet Bedlam.
827
00:54:02,502 --> 00:54:04,967
Cool name! Superpowers?
828
00:54:04,969 --> 00:54:06,001
I can distort
829
00:54:06,003 --> 00:54:07,533
electrical fields.
830
00:54:07,535 --> 00:54:09,734
Including the one
inside your brain...
831
00:54:09,736 --> 00:54:12,434
causing anxiety, confusion...
832
00:54:12,436 --> 00:54:13,736
pain.
833
00:54:14,569 --> 00:54:16,700
So, basically,
you're Dave Matthews.
834
00:54:16,702 --> 00:54:18,003
We can use him.
835
00:54:19,602 --> 00:54:21,368
I'm Zeitgeist.
836
00:54:21,370 --> 00:54:22,633
Cool. I like it.
837
00:54:22,635 --> 00:54:23,900
So you have the power
838
00:54:23,902 --> 00:54:26,535
to put your finger
on the pulse of society?
839
00:54:27,370 --> 00:54:28,533
No.
840
00:54:28,535 --> 00:54:30,234
No, I spit acidic vomit.
841
00:54:30,236 --> 00:54:31,368
- Oh.
- Do you want me
842
00:54:31,370 --> 00:54:32,700
- to demonstrate?
- No!
843
00:54:32,702 --> 00:54:34,067
We'll take your word for it.
844
00:54:34,069 --> 00:54:36,309
Thank you. Yeah. Listen, we've
all eaten at Arby's, okay?
845
00:54:36,470 --> 00:54:39,169
And this is the Vanisher.
846
00:54:42,436 --> 00:54:43,635
But...
847
00:54:44,569 --> 00:54:46,201
Vanisher!
848
00:54:48,569 --> 00:54:50,502
Nice! Right?
849
00:54:51,535 --> 00:54:52,667
He's not here, is he?
850
00:54:52,669 --> 00:54:54,502
He may be running late.
851
00:54:55,669 --> 00:54:58,567
My name's Rusty,
but I go by Shatterstar.
852
00:54:58,569 --> 00:54:59,867
That's good, yeah.
853
00:54:59,869 --> 00:55:01,934
- "Rusty" is terrible.
- Toughie.
854
00:55:01,936 --> 00:55:04,835
- So, uh, where are you from?
- The planet Mojo World.
855
00:55:04,837 --> 00:55:07,067
- So you're an alien, I guess.
- Bad name.
856
00:55:07,069 --> 00:55:08,633
How does that, uh, help us?
857
00:55:08,635 --> 00:55:11,600
I'm basically better
than you at everything.
858
00:55:11,602 --> 00:55:13,401
Just once, I'm gonna find
a planet of people
859
00:55:13,403 --> 00:55:14,900
that are worse than me
at everything.
860
00:55:14,902 --> 00:55:17,101
A whole bunch
of functional idiots.
861
00:55:17,103 --> 00:55:19,334
I'm gonna go there, and I'm
gonna be their Superman.
862
00:55:19,336 --> 00:55:20,401
Isn't that Canada?
863
00:55:20,403 --> 00:55:22,936
You shut your
goddamn trash mouth!
864
00:55:24,269 --> 00:55:25,701
- Meet...
- Domino.
865
00:55:25,703 --> 00:55:27,934
- What's your shtick?
- I'm lucky.
866
00:55:27,936 --> 00:55:30,067
If you're so lucky, then what
are you doing here with us?
867
00:55:30,069 --> 00:55:31,267
I don't know yet.
868
00:55:31,269 --> 00:55:32,401
What's that supposed to mean?
869
00:55:32,403 --> 00:55:33,867
It means that I don't know yet.
870
00:55:33,869 --> 00:55:35,468
But there's a reason
why I'm here,
871
00:55:35,470 --> 00:55:36,600
and I'll know when I know.
872
00:55:36,602 --> 00:55:38,234
Everything usually
works out for me.
873
00:55:38,236 --> 00:55:39,934
Luck isn't a superpower.
874
00:55:39,936 --> 00:55:41,468
- Yes, it is.
- No, it isn't.
875
00:55:41,470 --> 00:55:42,735
- Yes, it is.
- No, ma'am.
876
00:55:42,737 --> 00:55:44,167
- Mmm-hmm.
- Mario No-pez.
877
00:55:44,169 --> 00:55:45,301
- Yeah.
- Nacho cheese.
878
00:55:45,303 --> 00:55:46,401
No, it definitely is.
I really...
879
00:55:46,403 --> 00:55:47,468
There's no way that it...
880
00:55:47,470 --> 00:55:49,001
Sorry, I was interrupting you.
881
00:55:49,003 --> 00:55:50,533
- Sorry. No, I interrupted you.
- No, no, no. You can go first.
882
00:55:50,535 --> 00:55:52,001
Oh, I was just gonna say,
"No, it isn't."
883
00:55:52,003 --> 00:55:54,768
I was gonna just bring it back
to that yes, it is.
884
00:55:54,770 --> 00:55:56,533
Let's meet in the middle
and say, "No, it isn't."
885
00:55:56,535 --> 00:55:59,668
- But it is.
- Okay.
886
00:55:59,670 --> 00:56:01,401
- You're hired!
- You're hired.
887
00:56:01,403 --> 00:56:02,735
Oh, lucky me.
888
00:56:02,737 --> 00:56:03,936
She's great.
889
00:56:05,203 --> 00:56:06,768
And last, but not least...
890
00:56:06,770 --> 00:56:07,869
Peter.
891
00:56:08,902 --> 00:56:11,567
Am I getting
catfished here or...?
892
00:56:11,569 --> 00:56:13,401
Any powers you wanna
tell us about?
893
00:56:13,403 --> 00:56:15,234
No.
894
00:56:15,236 --> 00:56:16,834
I don't have one.
895
00:56:16,836 --> 00:56:20,103
Um, I just saw the ad
and thought it looked fun.
896
00:56:21,036 --> 00:56:22,201
You're in.
897
00:56:22,203 --> 00:56:23,869
- Yeah.
- Fuck!
898
00:56:26,403 --> 00:56:28,136
It's fulfilling work.
899
00:56:32,470 --> 00:56:33,902
Let's go!
900
00:56:48,103 --> 00:56:51,201
This is Convoy 17
departing the Ice Box.
901
00:56:51,203 --> 00:56:52,703
We are en route.
902
00:56:59,769 --> 00:57:02,470
Peacetime makes people soft.
903
00:57:03,936 --> 00:57:05,769
I was born into war.
904
00:57:07,203 --> 00:57:08,536
Bred into it.
905
00:57:09,270 --> 00:57:10,367
Okay.
906
00:57:10,369 --> 00:57:12,069
People think
they understand pain.
907
00:57:13,270 --> 00:57:15,636
What's the most pain
you've ever felt?
908
00:57:17,602 --> 00:57:18,867
These restraints are pretty...
909
00:57:18,869 --> 00:57:19,869
I've got a list.
910
00:57:21,203 --> 00:57:23,370
We're gonna work down it.
911
00:57:23,936 --> 00:57:24,936
Together.
912
00:57:26,069 --> 00:57:29,134
Number one,
I'm gonna bend something.
913
00:57:29,136 --> 00:57:31,434
Something that was not
meant to bend.
914
00:57:31,436 --> 00:57:32,534
I'm gonna stop you right there
915
00:57:32,536 --> 00:57:33,901
because I'm not gonna
make it to two.
916
00:57:33,903 --> 00:57:35,234
I won't even make it to one.
917
00:57:35,236 --> 00:57:36,667
I don't do well with pain,
you know.
918
00:57:36,669 --> 00:57:39,468
If I stub my toe,
I'm done for the day.
919
00:57:39,470 --> 00:57:42,067
I cried when
they canceled Felicity.
920
00:57:42,069 --> 00:57:43,567
When I get really scared,
I get nervous erections.
921
00:57:43,569 --> 00:57:45,168
I have one right now.
922
00:57:45,170 --> 00:57:46,967
Don't look.
It'll only make it worse.
923
00:57:46,969 --> 00:57:47,867
I don't want you to hurt me,
924
00:57:47,869 --> 00:57:50,436
and I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.
925
00:57:51,203 --> 00:57:53,500
Except for where they are.
926
00:57:53,502 --> 00:57:54,901
Russell's in a convoy
heading southbound
927
00:57:54,903 --> 00:57:56,034
on Gerry Duggan Parkway.
928
00:57:56,036 --> 00:57:57,767
The monster's with them.
I wouldn't fuck with him.
929
00:57:57,769 --> 00:57:59,134
You all know the plan.
930
00:57:59,136 --> 00:58:00,767
Intercept the convoy,
931
00:58:00,769 --> 00:58:03,067
grab the boy.
But not inappropriately!
932
00:58:03,069 --> 00:58:04,201
You know what,
933
00:58:04,203 --> 00:58:05,468
I wouldn't fuck with
Deadpool either.
934
00:58:05,470 --> 00:58:07,901
Because he's built a team.
He's unstoppable.
935
00:58:07,903 --> 00:58:10,600
He has an ass pen.
He'll stab you with it.
936
00:58:10,602 --> 00:58:13,300
Watch out for this guy, Cable!
937
00:58:13,302 --> 00:58:16,534
He's very short, 5'11".
Not like in the comics.
938
00:58:16,536 --> 00:58:19,567
And if we succeed,
we all go home early.
939
00:58:19,569 --> 00:58:21,602
So if you go after
them, Cable, I warn you...
940
00:58:22,469 --> 00:58:24,436
there's a wind advisory
in effect.
941
00:58:35,370 --> 00:58:37,036
A little turbulent up here.
942
00:58:44,403 --> 00:58:46,301
I don't know much
about this Cable fella...
943
00:58:46,303 --> 00:58:47,567
but I guarantee he hasn't killed
944
00:58:47,569 --> 00:58:49,569
as many people as melanoma has.
945
00:58:50,869 --> 00:58:52,234
We're getting close!
946
00:58:52,236 --> 00:58:54,001
As a former X-Man...
947
00:58:54,003 --> 00:58:55,834
- Trainee.
- Thank you, Bedlam.
948
00:58:55,836 --> 00:58:58,301
I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism
949
00:58:58,303 --> 00:59:00,001
in the group's name.
950
00:59:00,003 --> 00:59:01,867
X-Men! Men!
951
00:59:01,869 --> 00:59:05,101
The point is, our group
will be forward thinking.
952
00:59:05,103 --> 00:59:06,467
Gender neutral.
953
00:59:06,469 --> 00:59:08,803
From now on,
we'll be known as...
954
00:59:11,036 --> 00:59:12,467
X-Force.
955
00:59:12,469 --> 00:59:14,201
Isn't that a little derivative?
956
00:59:14,203 --> 00:59:16,736
I don't recall asking
your opinion, Peter!
957
00:59:17,903 --> 00:59:19,469
That wasn't me.
958
00:59:26,303 --> 00:59:28,667
Hang the laundry out
at 1,300 feet...
959
00:59:28,669 --> 00:59:30,500
intercept the convoy,
and grab the boy.
960
00:59:30,502 --> 00:59:31,667
Let's bring on
the carnage, baby!
961
00:59:31,669 --> 00:59:33,667
Get me on the ground,
watch me go!
962
00:59:33,669 --> 00:59:34,734
Yeah!
963
00:59:34,736 --> 00:59:36,667
I can't wait to kill!
964
00:59:36,669 --> 00:59:39,301
Hey! Hey! Hey!
965
00:59:39,303 --> 00:59:42,067
I just wanna say
how proud I am of this team.
966
00:59:42,069 --> 00:59:44,801
You know, you guys look amazing!
967
00:59:44,803 --> 00:59:47,934
Vanisher, I have no doubt
you look amazing too.
968
00:59:47,936 --> 00:59:48,834
This is the family
969
00:59:48,836 --> 00:59:50,602
that I've always dreamed
of having and I...
970
00:59:51,636 --> 00:59:52,734
Ah, shit.
971
00:59:54,170 --> 00:59:55,734
I just get a little
choked up sometimes.
972
00:59:55,736 --> 00:59:57,834
I hate to interrupt,
but is anybody nervous
973
00:59:57,836 --> 00:59:59,168
about the high winds?
974
00:59:59,170 --> 01:00:00,534
- Gary.
- My name's Peter.
975
01:00:00,536 --> 01:00:02,433
I realize that you're new
to this, but relax.
976
01:00:02,435 --> 01:00:04,001
You've been chosen
by a higher power.
977
01:00:04,003 --> 01:00:06,467
- Did he just call himself God?
- I think he did.
978
01:00:06,469 --> 01:00:08,235
- I'd like to go home.
- And I'd like...
979
01:00:08,237 --> 01:00:10,600
the McRib to be available
year round,
980
01:00:10,602 --> 01:00:12,567
but sometimes
dreams don't come true.
981
01:00:12,569 --> 01:00:14,667
I spent 10 years
in Special Forces.
982
01:00:14,669 --> 01:00:16,001
You think we didn't
jump out of the plane
983
01:00:16,003 --> 01:00:17,433
because of a light breeze?
984
01:00:17,435 --> 01:00:20,067
You're in this shit now,
Mustache!
985
01:00:20,069 --> 01:00:22,269
I'm only yelling
to impress the other guys.
986
01:00:22,271 --> 01:00:24,801
I'd never let anything
happen to you, Sugarbear.
987
01:00:24,803 --> 01:00:26,967
Leonard, hit it!
988
01:00:35,669 --> 01:00:37,702
Go! Go! Go!
989
01:01:13,204 --> 01:01:14,767
Let's get some!
990
01:01:14,769 --> 01:01:15,934
Whoo!
991
01:01:15,936 --> 01:01:17,169
Oh, yeah!
992
01:01:17,171 --> 01:01:20,036
Convoy, 12 o'clock!
On my command!
993
01:01:21,003 --> 01:01:22,667
Deploy! Oh, hey now!
994
01:01:22,669 --> 01:01:23,803
Whoa!
995
01:01:29,003 --> 01:01:30,936
Little off course here.
996
01:01:33,171 --> 01:01:35,669
Holy mommy fucking shit!
997
01:01:36,836 --> 01:01:37,967
Ah, there they are.
998
01:01:37,969 --> 01:01:41,634
Look at these gorgeous
sons of bitches.
999
01:01:41,636 --> 01:01:43,769
Oh, yeah! That's right, Bedlam!
1000
01:01:48,636 --> 01:01:53,102
No! Tripping
motherfucking billies!
1001
01:01:53,104 --> 01:01:55,969
Shatterstar. Okay, you got this.
1002
01:01:56,903 --> 01:01:58,001
Left!
1003
01:01:58,003 --> 01:01:59,333
Left!
1004
01:01:59,335 --> 01:02:01,702
No, stage left, you idiot!
1005
01:02:05,402 --> 01:02:07,067
Well, I guess we found something
1006
01:02:07,069 --> 01:02:08,335
you're not better at.
1007
01:02:10,171 --> 01:02:11,600
Vanisher.
1008
01:02:11,602 --> 01:02:13,602
Maybe the wind can't blow
what it can't see.
1009
01:02:16,702 --> 01:02:17,901
Oh! Really?
1010
01:02:17,903 --> 01:02:20,400
All right,
we could do this with four.
1011
01:02:20,402 --> 01:02:23,433
Sugarbear. You got this, buddy!
1012
01:02:23,435 --> 01:02:25,736
That's the stuff!
That's the X-Force spirit!
1013
01:02:26,702 --> 01:02:29,068
Never underestimate
a man with a mustache!
1014
01:02:29,070 --> 01:02:30,801
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.
1015
01:02:30,803 --> 01:02:31,967
We did it!
1016
01:02:31,969 --> 01:02:33,700
You're a goddamn superhero, you!
1017
01:02:33,702 --> 01:02:34,736
X-Force!
1018
01:02:35,204 --> 01:02:36,402
X-Force.
1019
01:02:40,769 --> 01:02:42,669
Oh!
1020
01:02:46,203 --> 01:02:47,333
Peter.
1021
01:02:47,335 --> 01:02:48,600
I got you, buddy!
1022
01:02:48,602 --> 01:02:49,734
- You're gonna be fine!
- This is not good, man!
1023
01:02:49,736 --> 01:02:52,201
You got this, big guy!
Here we go, Peter!
1024
01:02:52,203 --> 01:02:53,667
Look at me.
We're X-Force, right?
1025
01:02:53,669 --> 01:02:55,969
- Yeah, we're X-Force.
- We're X-Force.
1026
01:02:59,936 --> 01:03:01,801
Oh, my God! What the fuck?
1027
01:03:01,803 --> 01:03:03,367
Fucking acidic vomit!
1028
01:03:05,502 --> 01:03:08,300
Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up
in my mask.
1029
01:03:11,369 --> 01:03:13,700
Okay, I'm over the convoy.
1030
01:03:13,702 --> 01:03:15,769
Where did the rest
of the team land?
1031
01:03:16,435 --> 01:03:18,201
Good news and bad news.
1032
01:03:18,203 --> 01:03:21,400
Bad news is
the whole team is dead.
1033
01:03:21,402 --> 01:03:22,634
The good news is,
1034
01:03:22,636 --> 01:03:24,567
I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar.
1035
01:03:24,569 --> 01:03:27,967
He was a bit of a prick.
Oh, but Paul!
1036
01:03:27,969 --> 01:03:29,035
Peter!
1037
01:03:29,037 --> 01:03:30,433
Peter, I'm gonna miss him most.
1038
01:03:30,435 --> 01:03:31,567
But there is a slight chance
1039
01:03:31,569 --> 01:03:33,002
Vanisher could make it.
1040
01:03:33,004 --> 01:03:35,834
- -Nope, no chance. He's dead.
1041
01:03:35,836 --> 01:03:36,801
The whole team?
1042
01:03:36,803 --> 01:03:39,035
Only the main ones.
We're still good.
1043
01:03:39,037 --> 01:03:40,333
Fuck, you are dumb.
1044
01:03:40,335 --> 01:03:42,734
Even after all this time,
I still can't talk about it.
1045
01:03:42,736 --> 01:03:44,867
Who knew these winds
would be so strong?
1046
01:03:44,869 --> 01:03:47,567
Everyone!
Everyone on the helicopter!
1047
01:03:47,569 --> 01:03:49,369
And everyone
not on the helicopter!
1048
01:03:58,435 --> 01:04:00,536
They're headed into the tunnel.
1049
01:04:01,335 --> 01:04:02,734
I'm that kid's only hope,
1050
01:04:02,736 --> 01:04:04,836
so sit tight
and wait for my word.
1051
01:04:05,435 --> 01:04:06,534
Whatever.
1052
01:04:06,536 --> 01:04:07,834
We're gonna lose 'em.
I'm dropping in.
1053
01:04:07,836 --> 01:04:10,667
Uh, that's
a negative, sole survivor.
1054
01:04:10,669 --> 01:04:13,333
Luck is not a superpower!
We are so fucked!
1055
01:04:13,335 --> 01:04:16,433
No, we most certainly
are not fucked.
1056
01:04:19,469 --> 01:04:22,035
Seriously, I don't get it!
1057
01:04:22,037 --> 01:04:24,803
What, you shoot luck lasers
out of your eyes?
1058
01:04:26,736 --> 01:04:28,634
It's just it's hard to picture.
1059
01:04:28,636 --> 01:04:30,937
And certainly
not very cinematic.
1060
01:04:33,469 --> 01:04:35,201
I mean, luck?
1061
01:04:35,203 --> 01:04:37,667
What coked out,
glass pipe-sucking
1062
01:04:37,669 --> 01:04:39,201
freakshow comic book artist...
1063
01:04:39,203 --> 01:04:40,801
came up
with that little chestnut?
1064
01:04:40,803 --> 01:04:43,369
Probably a guy
who can't draw feet!
1065
01:04:54,004 --> 01:04:57,467
Once again, it all falls
on my shoulders.
1066
01:04:57,469 --> 01:04:58,667
It's why I'm cursed to be
a solo act.
1067
01:04:58,669 --> 01:04:59,935
- Wander the Earth...
- I'm in.
1068
01:04:59,937 --> 01:05:01,634
I'm sorry, what did you say?
1069
01:05:01,636 --> 01:05:02,500
I'm in.
1070
01:05:02,502 --> 01:05:04,602
How in the fuck
are you in already?
1071
01:05:04,970 --> 01:05:06,834
Oh, shit.
1072
01:05:06,836 --> 01:05:08,067
It's Cable. 12 o'clock.
1073
01:05:08,069 --> 01:05:09,168
Okay.
1074
01:05:09,170 --> 01:05:11,567
New plan. Use all of your
imaginary powers
1075
01:05:11,569 --> 01:05:14,400
to stop Cable
from killing that kid.
1076
01:05:14,402 --> 01:05:16,302
I'm coming up on your six.
1077
01:05:24,335 --> 01:05:26,367
That gun is amazing!
1078
01:05:35,402 --> 01:05:37,467
Hey! Asshole!
1079
01:05:37,469 --> 01:05:39,201
Where is he? I can't see him.
1080
01:05:39,203 --> 01:05:40,803
He's on top of you.
1081
01:05:42,769 --> 01:05:44,935
He's going in through the back!
1082
01:05:44,937 --> 01:05:46,134
Oh, God, he's inside!
1083
01:05:46,136 --> 01:05:47,400
You hear yourself, right?
1084
01:05:47,402 --> 01:05:49,034
Accidental double entendres!
1085
01:05:49,036 --> 01:05:51,367
Russell! Russell Collins!
1086
01:05:51,369 --> 01:05:53,502
Hands off that kid, John Connor!
1087
01:05:58,803 --> 01:06:00,003
No, no, no!
1088
01:06:03,769 --> 01:06:04,870
Shit!
1089
01:06:26,569 --> 01:06:28,702
Two can play that game!
1090
01:06:30,803 --> 01:06:32,669
Got it! No, I don't.
1091
01:06:33,469 --> 01:06:34,534
Showtime, mama!
1092
01:06:34,536 --> 01:06:36,435
Lady Luck, take the wheel.
1093
01:07:13,769 --> 01:07:15,902
I'd ask who you are, but
you'll be dead in a second.
1094
01:07:15,904 --> 01:07:18,001
I'm Domino, and doubtful.
1095
01:07:34,402 --> 01:07:35,602
Hang in there, Doms!
1096
01:07:36,870 --> 01:07:38,433
Oh, this is really hard.
1097
01:07:51,136 --> 01:07:52,669
And give me back
my Skee-Ball token.
1098
01:07:56,102 --> 01:07:57,935
- You're doing great.
- X-Force.
1099
01:07:59,703 --> 01:08:01,768
I guess dubstep never dies.
1100
01:08:06,136 --> 01:08:07,169
Whoo!
1101
01:08:14,069 --> 01:08:16,902
You killed Black Tom,
you racist son of a bitch!
1102
01:08:19,503 --> 01:08:20,603
That's unfortunate.
1103
01:08:23,870 --> 01:08:25,200
We got no brakes!
1104
01:08:25,202 --> 01:08:26,603
Figure it out!
1105
01:08:30,902 --> 01:08:32,536
There's nothing I can't kill.
1106
01:08:34,770 --> 01:08:36,033
Ooh.
1107
01:08:36,035 --> 01:08:39,469
Somebody knows karate.
1108
01:08:41,870 --> 01:08:43,536
Give me your best shot,
One-Eyed Willy.
1109
01:08:58,770 --> 01:08:59,969
Ow.
1110
01:09:00,803 --> 01:09:02,002
Here we go.
1111
01:09:02,836 --> 01:09:05,134
Domino, mind slowing us down?
1112
01:09:05,136 --> 01:09:07,434
Here goes nothing.
1113
01:09:38,102 --> 01:09:40,270
Knock, knock.
1114
01:09:46,669 --> 01:09:47,768
That's my boy.
1115
01:09:54,202 --> 01:09:55,401
Holy...
1116
01:10:05,469 --> 01:10:07,201
I'll be first to admit...
1117
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,603
this did not go
according to plan.
1118
01:10:10,969 --> 01:10:12,467
I'll also be the first
to admit that
1119
01:10:12,469 --> 01:10:14,401
that plan was written in crayon.
1120
01:10:14,403 --> 01:10:17,534
Looks like Russell found
a new friend. Jelly.
1121
01:10:17,536 --> 01:10:19,335
Turns out Domino's
a bit of a badass,
1122
01:10:19,337 --> 01:10:22,467
and maybe,
possibly mildly lucky.
1123
01:10:22,469 --> 01:10:25,868
But Cable? Ugh.
That guy's in a mood.
1124
01:10:25,870 --> 01:10:26,933
A mood that is
1125
01:10:26,935 --> 01:10:28,969
about to get
significantly worse.
1126
01:10:52,369 --> 01:10:54,902
Something is so terribly,
terribly wrong.
1127
01:10:57,870 --> 01:10:59,436
Oh.
1128
01:11:01,069 --> 01:11:02,669
Oh, God, that hurt.
1129
01:11:07,935 --> 01:11:09,203
Russell.
1130
01:11:11,770 --> 01:11:13,035
Russell!
1131
01:11:13,536 --> 01:11:15,603
Russ, where are ya?
1132
01:11:19,102 --> 01:11:21,300
Russell. Russell, you're okay!
1133
01:11:21,302 --> 01:11:24,868
Oh, thank God. Oh, my God!
1134
01:11:24,870 --> 01:11:26,300
Juggernaut!
1135
01:11:27,436 --> 01:11:29,300
I thought that was you!
1136
01:11:29,302 --> 01:11:32,201
I should've worn my white pants.
1137
01:11:32,203 --> 01:11:36,067
You probably get this a lot,
but I am a huge fan.
1138
01:11:36,069 --> 01:11:39,567
Uncanny X-Men 183. Thor 411.
1139
01:11:39,569 --> 01:11:40,834
X-Men Unlimited 12.
1140
01:11:40,836 --> 01:11:43,000
You know, it has always been
a dream of mine...
1141
01:11:43,002 --> 01:11:44,933
to see my face
reflected in your helmet...
1142
01:11:44,935 --> 01:11:47,033
as you charge at me
with murderous intent.
1143
01:11:47,035 --> 01:11:48,900
I don't mean right now.
1144
01:11:48,902 --> 01:11:50,967
I'm gonna rip you in half now.
1145
01:11:50,969 --> 01:11:53,768
That is such
a Juggernaut thing to say.
1146
01:11:57,203 --> 01:12:01,467
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.
1147
01:12:01,469 --> 01:12:02,902
I can't feel...
1148
01:12:03,703 --> 01:12:05,768
Oh, no, they're right here.
1149
01:12:05,770 --> 01:12:07,634
Got 'em. God, Russell.
1150
01:12:07,636 --> 01:12:09,503
I have a mission.
1151
01:12:10,103 --> 01:12:11,900
To get my revenge.
1152
01:12:11,902 --> 01:12:14,168
I'm going to burn
that headmaster alive.
1153
01:12:14,170 --> 01:12:16,501
You're not the revenge type.
1154
01:12:16,503 --> 01:12:18,033
Take it from a friend.
1155
01:12:18,035 --> 01:12:21,933
Friend? You were sick,
and I protected you.
1156
01:12:21,935 --> 01:12:24,101
You said it yourself.
1157
01:12:24,103 --> 01:12:26,900
"I'm not your friend.
Find someone stronger."
1158
01:12:26,902 --> 01:12:28,467
So I did.
1159
01:12:29,803 --> 01:12:31,967
Russell, I couldn't
protect you back then.
1160
01:12:31,969 --> 01:12:36,000
But I can now. What do you
want me to say, huh?
1161
01:12:36,002 --> 01:12:37,933
"I care about you"?
'Cause goddamn it,
1162
01:12:37,935 --> 01:12:40,300
I care about you, Russell.
1163
01:12:40,302 --> 01:12:42,434
What's Juggernaut got
that I don't have?
1164
01:12:42,436 --> 01:12:46,200
Don't you say legs! I know
you're gonna say legs!
1165
01:12:46,202 --> 01:12:49,236
- Legs!
- Still hurts to hear out loud!
1166
01:12:51,170 --> 01:12:54,168
What is that?
That's not a real rope!
1167
01:12:54,170 --> 01:12:56,569
You get back here, young man!
1168
01:12:57,603 --> 01:12:59,000
Doms!
1169
01:12:59,002 --> 01:13:01,200
Doms, get me
out of here, please.
1170
01:13:01,202 --> 01:13:04,336
Use my arms as backpack straps.
1171
01:13:06,503 --> 01:13:07,434
I think we may have found
1172
01:13:07,436 --> 01:13:09,801
your cosmic reason
for being here.
1173
01:13:09,803 --> 01:13:11,701
I'm pretty sure this isn't it.
1174
01:13:11,703 --> 01:13:13,103
X-Force.
1175
01:13:26,236 --> 01:13:28,101
No child is hopeless.
1176
01:13:28,103 --> 01:13:29,501
Don't give up on the boy.
1177
01:13:29,503 --> 01:13:31,768
How could he just walk away?
1178
01:13:31,770 --> 01:13:34,567
It was the coldness in his eyes.
1179
01:13:34,569 --> 01:13:36,236
You should've heard it.
1180
01:13:37,969 --> 01:13:40,369
I guess family
really is an F-word.
1181
01:13:41,103 --> 01:13:43,300
Rub my legs, Mama.
1182
01:13:43,302 --> 01:13:44,868
Why would I rub your legs?
1183
01:13:44,870 --> 01:13:47,834
Please, they hurt.
I have growing pains.
1184
01:13:50,902 --> 01:13:52,667
What in the...
1185
01:13:52,669 --> 01:13:55,467
Why is your hand so tiny again?
1186
01:13:55,469 --> 01:13:57,167
That's not my hand.
1187
01:13:57,169 --> 01:13:59,501
Oh! Mary, mother of Joseph!
1188
01:13:59,503 --> 01:14:01,467
That was nice for me.
1189
01:14:01,469 --> 01:14:04,534
Wade! I heard what happened
with the convoy and...
1190
01:14:08,870 --> 01:14:11,134
Why wouldn't you cover that up?
1191
01:14:11,136 --> 01:14:13,334
A warrior has nothing
to be ashamed of.
1192
01:14:13,336 --> 01:14:15,334
Yeah, but you do. Look at you.
1193
01:14:15,336 --> 01:14:17,601
You're just
straight shirt-cocking it,
1194
01:14:17,603 --> 01:14:19,034
toddler-style.
1195
01:14:19,036 --> 01:14:20,968
Oh, yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh.
1196
01:14:20,970 --> 01:14:23,001
The hell's happening?
Describe it.
1197
01:14:23,003 --> 01:14:24,300
I wouldn't ask him to
do that, if I were you.
1198
01:14:24,302 --> 01:14:25,968
- It's like, um...
- Here we go.
1199
01:14:25,970 --> 01:14:27,200
It's like he was
giving birth anally,
1200
01:14:27,202 --> 01:14:28,868
but they quit halfway through.
1201
01:14:28,870 --> 01:14:30,001
They got the legs out,
and they said,
1202
01:14:30,003 --> 01:14:31,367
"You know what, I'm done."
1203
01:14:31,369 --> 01:14:32,367
Happy?
1204
01:14:32,369 --> 01:14:33,634
It's like he's a Muppet
from the waist down.
1205
01:14:33,636 --> 01:14:34,968
But this time, you can see
1206
01:14:34,970 --> 01:14:36,367
the Muppet's dick.
1207
01:14:36,369 --> 01:14:37,768
Grover's got a cock
the size of a twig.
1208
01:14:37,770 --> 01:14:39,100
Mr. Weasel, I can
no longer be double-parked.
1209
01:14:39,102 --> 01:14:41,036
I've had three tickets already.
1210
01:14:42,269 --> 01:14:45,100
No, no, no, DP, not again!
1211
01:14:45,102 --> 01:14:47,634
This has happened before?
1212
01:14:47,636 --> 01:14:49,234
- -Jesus! Either vomit or don't.
1213
01:14:49,236 --> 01:14:50,734
The indecision is killing me.
1214
01:14:50,736 --> 01:14:52,636
Why couldn't God
take my hearing?
1215
01:14:54,302 --> 01:14:56,300
Oh. Wow!
1216
01:14:56,302 --> 01:14:58,067
Cool your pits.
They're growing back.
1217
01:14:58,069 --> 01:15:00,067
I'm talking about your face.
1218
01:15:00,069 --> 01:15:02,001
I've never seen you
without your mask before.
1219
01:15:02,003 --> 01:15:04,200
- Jesus Christ!
- Looks like an avocado.
1220
01:15:04,202 --> 01:15:06,167
Your legs, though, they're cute.
1221
01:15:06,169 --> 01:15:08,202
You wanna borrow
a pair of pants?
1222
01:15:09,669 --> 01:15:11,167
I'm glad everybody dropped by.
1223
01:15:11,169 --> 01:15:14,067
You must be wondering
why I didn't call you here.
1224
01:15:14,069 --> 01:15:15,801
I'll tell you why I'm here.
1225
01:15:15,803 --> 01:15:18,167
"The Time Traveler's Wife's"
husband...
1226
01:15:18,169 --> 01:15:19,501
beat me within
an inch of my life.
1227
01:15:19,503 --> 01:15:20,634
He was torturing me!
1228
01:15:20,636 --> 01:15:23,768
But all I told him was
everything he wanted to know.
1229
01:15:23,770 --> 01:15:26,334
So, I'm here to help us gear up.
1230
01:15:26,336 --> 01:15:27,667
So we can go after him
without me.
1231
01:15:27,669 --> 01:15:29,001
No!
1232
01:15:29,003 --> 01:15:30,601
I'm doing this alone.
1233
01:15:30,603 --> 01:15:31,667
The Juggernaut
1234
01:15:31,669 --> 01:15:33,001
- will kill you all.
- Fair enough.
1235
01:15:33,003 --> 01:15:34,968
I just need a couple of
hours to get some legs
1236
01:15:34,970 --> 01:15:36,100
- under me.
- What will you do?
1237
01:15:36,102 --> 01:15:37,667
I don't care
what the kid did to me.
1238
01:15:37,669 --> 01:15:38,901
I ain't letting Cable
get to him,
1239
01:15:38,903 --> 01:15:40,267
even if I have to
teabag him to death.
1240
01:15:40,269 --> 01:15:42,267
It's really just a sip
of tea at this point.
1241
01:15:42,269 --> 01:15:44,100
Zip it, black Black Widow!
I'm flowing.
1242
01:15:44,102 --> 01:15:45,167
The first order of business is
1243
01:15:45,169 --> 01:15:46,467
to get me in front of Cable...
1244
01:15:46,469 --> 01:15:48,134
so I can pull all the fucking
blood out of his body...
1245
01:15:48,136 --> 01:15:50,601
and fashion his bones
into holiday jewelry.
1246
01:15:50,603 --> 01:15:52,267
Then, I'm gonna take his skin...
1247
01:15:52,269 --> 01:15:55,536
and stretch it out
over a homemade mating drum.
1248
01:15:57,003 --> 01:15:58,669
He's standing
right behind you, isn't he?
1249
01:16:07,403 --> 01:16:09,234
What in the ass?
1250
01:16:09,236 --> 01:16:12,534
Is this apartment listed
on Tinder? Grindr?
1251
01:16:12,536 --> 01:16:14,936
You picked the wrong shithole
to fuck, future boy.
1252
01:16:15,803 --> 01:16:18,436
Ugh. Is that really necessary?
1253
01:16:20,636 --> 01:16:23,534
No. It's his "Basic Instinct."
1254
01:16:23,536 --> 01:16:25,100
What can we help you with?
1255
01:16:25,102 --> 01:16:27,002
I'm here to proposition you.
1256
01:16:28,403 --> 01:16:29,334
Oh, boy!
1257
01:16:29,336 --> 01:16:30,667
He's really teeing it up,
isn't he?
1258
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:32,567
Who gets to make the first joke?
1259
01:16:32,569 --> 01:16:34,234
I think we should all
do it at the same time.
1260
01:16:34,236 --> 01:16:35,134
Good call.
1261
01:16:35,136 --> 01:16:36,601
For $45, you get sucky-suck.
1262
01:16:36,603 --> 01:16:38,200
I only do over
the pants, mouth stuff.
1263
01:16:38,202 --> 01:16:39,134
Fuck!
1264
01:16:39,136 --> 01:16:40,434
The Proposition has a wonderful
1265
01:16:40,436 --> 01:16:41,467
Guy Pearce performance.
1266
01:16:41,469 --> 01:16:43,367
Wait, wait, wait!
I wanna do mine over.
1267
01:16:43,369 --> 01:16:46,067
- Give us the line again.
- I need your help!
1268
01:16:46,069 --> 01:16:48,367
Trust me, I'm even less happy
about this than you are...
1269
01:16:48,369 --> 01:16:51,701
but you unleashed the
Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!
1270
01:16:51,703 --> 01:16:54,033
I can't bring him down alone.
1271
01:16:54,035 --> 01:16:55,669
So here we are.
1272
01:16:56,936 --> 01:16:58,802
We're no longer
accepting applications
1273
01:16:58,804 --> 01:17:00,367
for X-Force, unfortunately.
1274
01:17:00,369 --> 01:17:01,567
Even if we were...
1275
01:17:01,569 --> 01:17:03,334
there's a wind advisory
in effect until at least...
1276
01:17:03,336 --> 01:17:04,534
We don't have a lot of time.
1277
01:17:04,536 --> 01:17:06,501
Your friend's about
to make his first kill.
1278
01:17:06,503 --> 01:17:08,067
No offense,
but if you know so much...
1279
01:17:08,069 --> 01:17:11,000
why not travel back to when
he was a baby, kill him then?
1280
01:17:11,002 --> 01:17:12,067
Or better yet, head back
a little further,
1281
01:17:12,069 --> 01:17:13,134
kill baby Hitler.
1282
01:17:13,136 --> 01:17:15,167
I use a device
to slide through time.
1283
01:17:15,169 --> 01:17:17,933
The longer I travel,
the harder it is to control.
1284
01:17:17,935 --> 01:17:20,667
I got two charges:
one to get me here,
1285
01:17:20,669 --> 01:17:21,835
one to get me home.
1286
01:17:21,837 --> 01:17:23,000
Well.
1287
01:17:23,002 --> 01:17:24,967
That's just lazy writing.
1288
01:17:24,969 --> 01:17:26,200
Your boy's
gonna kill the headmaster
1289
01:17:26,202 --> 01:17:27,901
of the orphanage tonight.
1290
01:17:27,903 --> 01:17:30,033
After that,
he gets a real taste for it.
1291
01:17:30,035 --> 01:17:32,869
Like 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!
1292
01:17:32,871 --> 01:17:34,835
So he keeps killing...
1293
01:17:34,837 --> 01:17:36,267
and killing, and killing,
1294
01:17:36,269 --> 01:17:37,701
and killing.
1295
01:17:37,703 --> 01:17:41,269
Until one day, he kills
the wrong fucking people.
1296
01:17:43,736 --> 01:17:45,236
My people.
1297
01:17:49,136 --> 01:17:50,134
Relax.
1298
01:17:50,136 --> 01:17:52,735
I'm retrieving something
from my utility bag.
1299
01:17:52,737 --> 01:17:55,234
It's a goddamn fanny pack...
1300
01:17:55,236 --> 01:17:57,933
and you know it,
you sick son of a bitch!
1301
01:17:57,935 --> 01:17:59,669
The difference is night and day.
1302
01:18:01,536 --> 01:18:03,769
You remind me of my wife.
1303
01:18:03,771 --> 01:18:05,200
I'm sorry.
1304
01:18:05,202 --> 01:18:06,300
I said, "You remind me
of my wife."
1305
01:18:06,302 --> 01:18:07,601
No, I'm sorry
that you said that...
1306
01:18:07,603 --> 01:18:10,667
while making heavy eye contact
and applying lip balm.
1307
01:18:10,669 --> 01:18:12,002
She always struggled.
1308
01:18:12,935 --> 01:18:14,367
But she was funny...
1309
01:18:14,369 --> 01:18:17,802
and filtered her pain
through the prism of humor.
1310
01:18:17,804 --> 01:18:20,169
Something I could never master.
1311
01:18:20,902 --> 01:18:23,269
It was my fault she died.
1312
01:18:24,771 --> 01:18:28,334
It was my job
to stop people like him.
1313
01:18:28,336 --> 01:18:30,469
I came close a few times.
1314
01:18:34,436 --> 01:18:36,369
He wasn't too happy about that.
1315
01:18:37,935 --> 01:18:39,267
He was trying to hurt me...
1316
01:18:39,269 --> 01:18:41,569
and he knew exactly
how to do it.
1317
01:18:45,704 --> 01:18:47,501
Blessed are the wicked
1318
01:18:47,503 --> 01:18:49,169
who are healed by my hand.
1319
01:18:51,836 --> 01:18:54,234
He came into my home...
1320
01:18:54,236 --> 01:18:57,336
and took the only thing
that made it a home.
1321
01:19:01,403 --> 01:19:02,902
Sound familiar?
1322
01:19:03,836 --> 01:19:05,567
- I'm sorry.
- Uh-huh.
1323
01:19:05,569 --> 01:19:07,302
No, I'm really sorry.
1324
01:19:09,469 --> 01:19:11,434
But that isn't Russell.
1325
01:19:11,436 --> 01:19:13,601
- It doesn't have to be him.
- If you knew what I knew...
1326
01:19:13,603 --> 01:19:15,401
Yeah, he's got anger issues...
1327
01:19:15,403 --> 01:19:17,067
maybe a small
learning disability...
1328
01:19:17,069 --> 01:19:18,634
splash of diabetes...
1329
01:19:18,636 --> 01:19:19,933
but nothing that can't be fixed.
1330
01:19:19,935 --> 01:19:21,501
If you could go back...
1331
01:19:21,503 --> 01:19:24,567
and stop the people that took
your girl, would you?
1332
01:19:24,569 --> 01:19:26,369
Of course I fucking would!
1333
01:19:26,969 --> 01:19:28,834
But I wouldn't kill a kid.
1334
01:19:28,836 --> 01:19:30,367
I'm not asking you
to kill a kid!
1335
01:19:30,369 --> 01:19:31,534
I'll kill the kid.
1336
01:19:31,536 --> 01:19:35,167
I'm asking you to save
hundreds of other kids.
1337
01:19:35,169 --> 01:19:37,467
Russell's gonna burn down
that orphanage.
1338
01:19:37,469 --> 01:19:39,534
And I can imagine
your dead girlfriend...
1339
01:19:39,536 --> 01:19:42,933
would want you to do the
right thing, wouldn't she?
1340
01:19:42,935 --> 01:19:46,134
So, what's it gonna be,
handsome?
1341
01:19:46,136 --> 01:19:47,933
Give me a chance to save him.
1342
01:19:47,935 --> 01:19:49,334
- What?
- You said...
1343
01:19:49,336 --> 01:19:51,067
once he kills someone,
he gets a taste for it.
1344
01:19:51,069 --> 01:19:53,601
If we can get to him
before that happens...
1345
01:19:53,603 --> 01:19:55,134
promise you'll give me a chance
1346
01:19:55,136 --> 01:19:57,033
to put him on a different path.
1347
01:19:57,035 --> 01:19:58,300
Define "chance."
1348
01:19:58,302 --> 01:19:59,434
I don't know.
How long does it take
1349
01:19:59,436 --> 01:20:00,933
to save someone's soul?
That's not...
1350
01:20:00,935 --> 01:20:02,267
I'll give you 30 seconds.
1351
01:20:02,269 --> 01:20:04,467
- What? No!
- Best I can do.
1352
01:20:04,469 --> 01:20:05,902
Take it or leave it.
1353
01:20:16,069 --> 01:20:17,534
He's doing it!
1354
01:20:17,536 --> 01:20:19,200
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.
1355
01:20:19,202 --> 01:20:21,401
There he goes.
1356
01:20:21,403 --> 01:20:22,868
Jesus Christ!
1357
01:20:22,870 --> 01:20:24,434
Just shirt-cocking it.
1358
01:20:24,436 --> 01:20:26,234
Ugh.
1359
01:20:26,236 --> 01:20:27,670
There you go, little fella.
1360
01:20:28,469 --> 01:20:30,067
Go on, you're doing it!
1361
01:20:30,069 --> 01:20:33,136
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.
1362
01:20:35,302 --> 01:20:36,467
Christ!
1363
01:20:36,469 --> 01:20:38,234
That's disturbing.
1364
01:20:38,236 --> 01:20:39,503
30 seconds.
1365
01:20:44,803 --> 01:20:46,403
- Deal.
- Deal.
1366
01:20:49,670 --> 01:20:52,167
I have no idea what's happening.
1367
01:20:52,169 --> 01:20:55,435
Probably for the best.
1368
01:20:55,437 --> 01:20:59,201
And that is why
you never eat a raw starfish.
1369
01:20:59,203 --> 01:21:01,435
It's just common sense.
1370
01:21:01,437 --> 01:21:02,833
Where the hell are we going?
1371
01:21:02,835 --> 01:21:04,167
You said it yourself.
1372
01:21:04,169 --> 01:21:07,100
Nothing can stop the Juggernaut.
We need backup.
1373
01:21:07,102 --> 01:21:10,100
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.
1374
01:21:14,370 --> 01:21:16,069
Can you turn off the music?
1375
01:21:16,869 --> 01:21:18,967
You'll do no such thing.
1376
01:21:18,969 --> 01:21:21,335
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?
1377
01:21:21,337 --> 01:21:22,301
What the hell are you...?
1378
01:21:22,303 --> 01:21:24,501
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.
1379
01:21:24,503 --> 01:21:26,100
I am so sorry. It gets better.
1380
01:21:26,102 --> 01:21:28,000
I'm not a fucking racist, moron!
1381
01:21:28,002 --> 01:21:31,034
Tell that to Black Tom.
He was like a brother to me.
1382
01:21:31,036 --> 01:21:32,800
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.
1383
01:21:32,802 --> 01:21:34,501
And that's a twist.
1384
01:21:34,503 --> 01:21:35,668
So what exactly do you
1385
01:21:35,670 --> 01:21:36,733
do in the future, anyway, huh?
1386
01:21:36,735 --> 01:21:38,467
Some kind of soldier?
1387
01:21:38,469 --> 01:21:40,167
Yeah, something like that.
1388
01:21:40,169 --> 01:21:42,601
I was a soldier. Special Forces.
1389
01:21:42,603 --> 01:21:45,067
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.
1390
01:21:45,069 --> 01:21:47,167
50 years from now,
you're very dead.
1391
01:21:47,169 --> 01:21:49,967
Your entire generation fucked
this planet into a coma.
1392
01:21:49,969 --> 01:21:51,435
Boom!
1393
01:21:51,437 --> 01:21:52,700
Spoiler alert.
1394
01:21:54,203 --> 01:21:55,335
Planets.
1395
01:21:55,337 --> 01:21:56,767
Next time, Uber.
1396
01:21:56,769 --> 01:21:58,269
Here's a spoiler alert.
1397
01:21:59,404 --> 01:22:01,302
You're not a fucking hero.
1398
01:22:01,304 --> 01:22:05,434
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.
1399
01:22:05,436 --> 01:22:06,634
Well, I got news for you.
1400
01:22:06,636 --> 01:22:07,934
My heart is in the right place.
1401
01:22:07,936 --> 01:22:09,402
Russell's not gonna kill anyone.
1402
01:22:09,404 --> 01:22:11,900
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.
1403
01:22:11,902 --> 01:22:13,335
Because of you, I'll always know
1404
01:22:13,337 --> 01:22:15,668
what a grown man
with baby balls looks like.
1405
01:22:15,670 --> 01:22:18,100
I'm a grower, not a shower.
1406
01:22:18,102 --> 01:22:19,568
I should've finished college.
1407
01:22:19,570 --> 01:22:20,800
Right here!
1408
01:22:38,835 --> 01:22:40,867
I made mistakes!
1409
01:22:40,869 --> 01:22:42,767
I wanna take them back!
1410
01:22:42,769 --> 01:22:45,767
You trusted me.
I took that trust...
1411
01:22:45,769 --> 01:22:47,302
and turned it into a glory hole
1412
01:22:47,304 --> 01:22:48,700
in an airport bathroom.
1413
01:22:48,702 --> 01:22:51,469
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.
1414
01:22:52,436 --> 01:22:53,767
Colossus!
1415
01:22:53,769 --> 01:22:55,867
I wouldn't ask for your help
unless it was life or death!
1416
01:22:55,869 --> 01:22:57,934
That kid needs our help!
1417
01:22:57,936 --> 01:23:00,100
I know you're listening!
1418
01:23:00,102 --> 01:23:01,501
He's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!
1419
01:23:01,503 --> 01:23:02,800
The Juggernaut!
1420
01:23:02,802 --> 01:23:04,268
That's like my favorite
Marvel character ever,
1421
01:23:04,270 --> 01:23:05,934
but you should never
meet your heroes...
1422
01:23:05,936 --> 01:23:08,900
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!
1423
01:23:08,902 --> 01:23:11,534
And like a lot of dicks,
he's as hard as a rock...
1424
01:23:11,536 --> 01:23:13,335
and causes nothing but problems!
1425
01:23:13,337 --> 01:23:15,067
- Hi, Wade!
- Hi, Yukio!
1426
01:23:15,069 --> 01:23:15,934
Please don't.
1427
01:23:15,936 --> 01:23:17,302
You guys make
a super cute couple.
1428
01:23:17,304 --> 01:23:19,201
Yeah. Where was I? Oh, yeah!
1429
01:23:19,203 --> 01:23:21,367
Colossus! Look, I don't deserve
1430
01:23:21,369 --> 01:23:23,501
your friendship or your help.
1431
01:23:23,503 --> 01:23:25,202
But this kid does.
1432
01:23:25,204 --> 01:23:28,169
And I'm not gonna bail on him
like everyone else.
1433
01:23:29,769 --> 01:23:31,936
Oh, come on!
1434
01:23:35,902 --> 01:23:39,000
Any chance Pigeon Wings
is available?
1435
01:23:39,002 --> 01:23:41,568
That's just fine! That's fine!
1436
01:23:41,570 --> 01:23:43,034
No! You know what?
1437
01:23:43,036 --> 01:23:45,934
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...
1438
01:23:45,936 --> 01:23:49,202
and fucked up, and not
particularly convenient!
1439
01:23:49,204 --> 01:23:52,668
So stay here
in Chateau de Virgin...
1440
01:23:52,670 --> 01:23:54,969
while we go get our fuck on!
1441
01:23:57,769 --> 01:23:59,270
You're doing great.
1442
01:24:04,735 --> 01:24:06,168
So you wear that helmet because
1443
01:24:06,170 --> 01:24:08,000
your brother
tries to read your mind?
1444
01:24:08,002 --> 01:24:11,235
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-steven.
1445
01:24:11,237 --> 01:24:13,833
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.
1446
01:24:13,835 --> 01:24:15,833
He's not alone.
1447
01:24:15,835 --> 01:24:17,802
Secure the children.
1448
01:24:22,036 --> 01:24:24,900
What do you say
we go fuck some shit up?
1449
01:24:24,902 --> 01:24:28,969
"Let's fuck some shit up"
is my legal middle name.
1450
01:24:32,036 --> 01:24:34,767
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.
1451
01:24:34,769 --> 01:24:37,204
Amen, brother.
1452
01:24:42,835 --> 01:24:44,568
Time to make the chimichangas.
1453
01:24:44,570 --> 01:24:46,733
30 seconds.
1454
01:24:46,735 --> 01:24:49,367
I finally know why I'm here.
1455
01:24:49,369 --> 01:24:51,168
I was raised in this place.
1456
01:24:51,170 --> 01:24:53,601
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.
1457
01:24:53,603 --> 01:24:56,534
Wow! It's your cosmic reason
for being here.
1458
01:24:56,536 --> 01:24:57,833
- Shall we?
- This is gonna be fun.
1459
01:24:57,835 --> 01:24:59,000
Yeah!
1460
01:24:59,002 --> 01:25:00,634
Hey! Been meaning to ask you...
1461
01:25:00,636 --> 01:25:04,202
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?
1462
01:25:04,204 --> 01:25:07,869
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.
1463
01:25:09,936 --> 01:25:11,867
I have a gluten sensitivity.
1464
01:25:11,869 --> 01:25:13,534
So one glass of wine, I just...
1465
01:25:14,969 --> 01:25:15,969
Yeah.
1466
01:25:19,503 --> 01:25:20,668
Wish we could head back in time,
1467
01:25:20,670 --> 01:25:22,501
and I could take all that back.
1468
01:25:22,503 --> 01:25:24,401
We should just cue the music.
1469
01:25:48,869 --> 01:25:51,835
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.
1470
01:25:53,002 --> 01:25:53,934
Russell!
1471
01:25:53,936 --> 01:25:56,403
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!
1472
01:25:57,236 --> 01:25:59,000
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?
1473
01:26:03,269 --> 01:26:04,267
That's why!
1474
01:26:04,269 --> 01:26:05,767
Told you this little fucker's
too far gone.
1475
01:26:05,769 --> 01:26:07,601
Zip it, Thanos! We have
a deal and you fuck...
1476
01:26:07,603 --> 01:26:09,967
Hey!
1477
01:26:09,969 --> 01:26:13,269
I'm gonna shove that
cab driver right up your ass.
1478
01:26:14,369 --> 01:26:16,634
My body and my hands
are so soft.
1479
01:26:16,636 --> 01:26:17,767
You should probably
head back to the car.
1480
01:26:17,769 --> 01:26:19,735
I think I'll head
back to the car.
1481
01:26:20,670 --> 01:26:23,403
It works best
when you pull the trigger.
1482
01:26:26,336 --> 01:26:27,769
That gun is amazing!
1483
01:26:28,835 --> 01:26:30,203
Say it!
1484
01:26:32,336 --> 01:26:35,401
You are an abomination!
1485
01:26:42,403 --> 01:26:45,867
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.
1486
01:26:45,869 --> 01:26:48,403
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!
1487
01:26:52,735 --> 01:26:54,568
Gotcha!
1488
01:26:54,570 --> 01:26:55,902
Beat it, midget!
1489
01:26:58,702 --> 01:27:01,800
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!
1490
01:27:01,802 --> 01:27:03,070
Oh, shit fuck!
1491
01:27:16,769 --> 01:27:18,436
Come here, beautiful.
1492
01:27:20,536 --> 01:27:21,802
Say it!
1493
01:28:21,102 --> 01:28:22,367
You came for me.
1494
01:28:22,369 --> 01:28:23,767
I'm not giving up on you,
1495
01:28:23,769 --> 01:28:25,968
and you are not
giving up on that boy.
1496
01:28:25,970 --> 01:28:27,968
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?
1497
01:28:27,970 --> 01:28:30,501
It's time to fight dirty.
1498
01:28:30,503 --> 01:28:31,901
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.
1499
01:28:31,903 --> 01:28:34,700
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!
1500
01:28:34,702 --> 01:28:36,800
That's such a you thing to say!
1501
01:28:36,802 --> 01:28:38,800
Go get him, tiger!
1502
01:28:38,802 --> 01:28:40,702
Big CGI fight coming up!
1503
01:29:03,702 --> 01:29:05,234
He's doing great.
1504
01:29:05,236 --> 01:29:06,403
Say it!
1505
01:29:10,536 --> 01:29:12,069
- Russell.
- Bingo!
1506
01:29:23,870 --> 01:29:26,036
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!
1507
01:29:26,769 --> 01:29:27,833
Oh, great!
1508
01:29:27,835 --> 01:29:29,134
There they are! Those freaks!
1509
01:29:29,136 --> 01:29:31,534
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.
1510
01:29:31,536 --> 01:29:33,634
Can I have one of those guns?
1511
01:29:33,636 --> 01:29:35,501
- No.
- That's fine.
1512
01:29:35,503 --> 01:29:37,434
Get off this property,
mutant scum!
1513
01:29:37,436 --> 01:29:38,636
I'm just gonna use this brick.
1514
01:29:39,269 --> 01:29:40,367
Maximum effort.
1515
01:29:46,169 --> 01:29:48,169
Who says you can't
go home again?
1516
01:29:56,802 --> 01:29:58,336
Oh!
1517
01:30:05,269 --> 01:30:06,269
Yeah!
1518
01:30:08,436 --> 01:30:10,000
Say it.
1519
01:30:10,002 --> 01:30:13,236
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!
1520
01:30:13,670 --> 01:30:14,935
Say it!
1521
01:30:14,937 --> 01:30:17,937
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!
1522
01:30:18,903 --> 01:30:21,201
Blessed are the wicked...
1523
01:30:21,203 --> 01:30:22,369
who are healed...
1524
01:30:22,769 --> 01:30:24,369
by my hand.
1525
01:30:42,403 --> 01:30:44,803
You commie motherfucker!
1526
01:31:10,969 --> 01:31:13,634
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?
1527
01:31:13,636 --> 01:31:16,002
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.
1528
01:31:18,836 --> 01:31:21,467
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!
1529
01:31:21,469 --> 01:31:22,836
Now we're getting it.
1530
01:31:27,203 --> 01:31:29,601
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.
1531
01:31:35,002 --> 01:31:36,036
Orphans.
1532
01:31:37,169 --> 01:31:38,336
Oh, geez.
1533
01:31:39,670 --> 01:31:42,267
It's time to burn
for what you've done!
1534
01:31:42,269 --> 01:31:45,069
A child should not be burdened
with such power!
1535
01:31:53,636 --> 01:31:54,902
Russell! Wait!
1536
01:32:00,770 --> 01:32:02,102
Oh!
1537
01:32:09,169 --> 01:32:11,267
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!
1538
01:32:11,269 --> 01:32:13,501
- What more do you need to see?
- Don't you fucking dare!
1539
01:32:13,503 --> 01:32:14,701
He's just a kid!
1540
01:32:14,703 --> 01:32:16,803
Tick, tock. Meter's running!
1541
01:32:29,136 --> 01:32:32,369
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.
1542
01:32:52,637 --> 01:32:55,401
- I told you! Leave me alone!
- Come on!
1543
01:32:55,403 --> 01:32:56,703
Listen to me!
1544
01:33:19,835 --> 01:33:21,800
That's how we do it
1545
01:33:21,802 --> 01:33:23,369
in Mother Russia.
1546
01:33:25,203 --> 01:33:28,036
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.
1547
01:33:29,269 --> 01:33:32,701
Oh, no. You're doing amazing.
1548
01:33:33,869 --> 01:33:36,800
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!
1549
01:33:36,802 --> 01:33:38,701
Go home, Wade!
1550
01:33:38,703 --> 01:33:40,769
You're ruining everything!
1551
01:33:45,835 --> 01:33:47,334
I'm getting good at this shit.
1552
01:33:47,336 --> 01:33:48,369
Go, go, go!
1553
01:33:51,802 --> 01:33:53,800
He dies tonight, Wade.
1554
01:33:53,802 --> 01:33:56,167
You can't stop me!
1555
01:33:56,169 --> 01:33:58,100
He even runs
like a fucking pervert.
1556
01:33:58,102 --> 01:34:01,102
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.
1557
01:34:02,236 --> 01:34:03,867
There's one bullet left
in that gun.
1558
01:34:03,869 --> 01:34:06,100
Wait, wait, wait! Please,
just give me a second!
1559
01:34:06,102 --> 01:34:07,501
I got this.
1560
01:34:07,503 --> 01:34:09,733
- Russell!
- Stay back! Go home, Wade!
1561
01:34:09,735 --> 01:34:12,501
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!
1562
01:34:12,503 --> 01:34:14,067
That piece of shit...
1563
01:34:14,069 --> 01:34:15,867
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.
1564
01:34:15,869 --> 01:34:19,369
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.
1565
01:34:20,069 --> 01:34:21,934
But if you kill him, he wins.
1566
01:34:21,936 --> 01:34:25,867
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.
1567
01:34:25,869 --> 01:34:27,900
You're just a kid.
1568
01:34:27,902 --> 01:34:29,733
You don't wanna hurt anyone.
1569
01:34:29,735 --> 01:34:30,967
How do you know what I want?
1570
01:34:30,969 --> 01:34:32,869
Because I've been inside you.
1571
01:34:33,403 --> 01:34:35,334
That came out wrong.
1572
01:34:35,336 --> 01:34:36,934
I've been inside your shoes.
1573
01:34:36,936 --> 01:34:38,867
Which is also off-putting.
1574
01:34:38,869 --> 01:34:40,467
It's not a great analogy.
1575
01:34:40,469 --> 01:34:42,367
The point is...
1576
01:34:42,369 --> 01:34:43,967
there are people...
1577
01:34:43,969 --> 01:34:47,034
There are people
in this fucking world...
1578
01:34:47,036 --> 01:34:49,833
besides him,
who will treat you right.
1579
01:34:49,835 --> 01:34:52,735
It isn't too late. Don't do it.
1580
01:34:57,936 --> 01:35:00,436
I never should've left
you there.
1581
01:35:02,036 --> 01:35:04,136
I never should've left you
in that prison.
1582
01:35:11,203 --> 01:35:12,436
I can't trust you.
1583
01:35:14,203 --> 01:35:16,702
I can't trust anybody!
1584
01:35:25,670 --> 01:35:26,967
Wonderful kid.
1585
01:35:26,969 --> 01:35:28,767
You can't stop me, Wade!
1586
01:35:30,902 --> 01:35:33,134
I got one more idea.
1587
01:35:33,136 --> 01:35:36,301
It's just a really bad one,
even for me.
1588
01:35:36,303 --> 01:35:37,301
Wade, what are you doing?
1589
01:35:37,303 --> 01:35:39,800
All right. This is for
all the marbles, kid!
1590
01:35:39,802 --> 01:35:41,900
You're gonna kill
someone today...
1591
01:35:41,902 --> 01:35:43,468
Blessed are the wicked...
1592
01:35:43,470 --> 01:35:45,403
then it's gotta be me.
1593
01:35:46,470 --> 01:35:48,403
Who are healed by my hand!
1594
01:35:51,504 --> 01:35:54,036
Fuck this!
1595
01:35:58,069 --> 01:36:01,733
♪ The sun will
come out tomorrow ♪
1596
01:36:01,735 --> 01:36:06,334
♪ Bet your bottom dollar
that tomorrow ♪
1597
01:36:06,336 --> 01:36:09,334
♪ There'll be sun ♪
1598
01:36:09,336 --> 01:36:16,167
♪ When I'm stuck with a day
that's gray and lonely ♪
1599
01:36:16,169 --> 01:36:23,203
♪ I just stick out my chin
and grin and say ♪
1600
01:36:28,936 --> 01:36:32,334
♪ The sun
will come out tomorrow ♪
1601
01:36:32,336 --> 01:36:37,301
♪ So you gotta hang on
till tomorrow ♪
1602
01:36:37,303 --> 01:36:40,700
♪ Come what may ♪
1603
01:36:40,702 --> 01:36:46,000
♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love ya, tomorrow ♪
1604
01:36:46,002 --> 01:36:50,835
♪ You're always a day away ♪
1605
01:36:55,337 --> 01:36:58,502
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1606
01:37:03,470 --> 01:37:04,869
Oh, that's not good.
1607
01:37:06,336 --> 01:37:08,069
No, sir.
1608
01:37:15,370 --> 01:37:18,502
You sacrificed yourself for me.
1609
01:37:18,836 --> 01:37:19,800
Yeah.
1610
01:37:19,802 --> 01:37:22,302
And it was the best thing
I ever did.
1611
01:37:23,936 --> 01:37:26,268
I told you I care about you.
1612
01:37:26,270 --> 01:37:28,069
You're a good kid, Russell.
1613
01:37:29,836 --> 01:37:30,902
Hey.
1614
01:37:32,136 --> 01:37:33,434
The bear.
1615
01:37:33,436 --> 01:37:34,869
It worked.
1616
01:37:41,436 --> 01:37:43,368
Because of you.
1617
01:37:43,370 --> 01:37:45,769
No, Wade, because of you.
1618
01:37:46,470 --> 01:37:48,767
Stop, stop, stop!
1619
01:37:48,769 --> 01:37:49,902
Stop!
1620
01:37:50,836 --> 01:37:53,834
Just let it happen, okay?
1621
01:37:53,836 --> 01:37:57,633
I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.
1622
01:37:57,635 --> 01:38:00,170
That riddle is so fucked up.
1623
01:38:05,069 --> 01:38:07,600
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
1624
01:38:07,602 --> 01:38:08,800
Don't be. Don't be.
1625
01:38:08,802 --> 01:38:11,301
I've been trying to make
this happen for a while.
1626
01:38:11,303 --> 01:38:12,867
Please, just don't leave me.
1627
01:38:12,869 --> 01:38:14,600
I don't wanna die
without an audience.
1628
01:38:14,602 --> 01:38:16,168
We are not going anywhere.
1629
01:38:16,170 --> 01:38:18,533
Oh, God, I hope
the Academy is watching.
1630
01:38:18,535 --> 01:38:19,769
Just rest, okay?
1631
01:38:21,436 --> 01:38:22,702
Papa.
1632
01:38:24,669 --> 01:38:26,802
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
1633
01:38:28,802 --> 01:38:35,003
♪ Papa, can you find me
in the night? ♪
1634
01:38:56,204 --> 01:38:57,834
Before I go...
1635
01:38:57,836 --> 01:38:59,802
Sorry, I got a bit more in me.
1636
01:39:00,269 --> 01:39:01,500
Domino.
1637
01:39:01,502 --> 01:39:06,368
I want you to have
my Adventure Time watch.
1638
01:39:08,535 --> 01:39:11,635
Turns out
that I'm the lucky one.
1639
01:39:12,236 --> 01:39:13,535
Thank you.
1640
01:39:14,602 --> 01:39:18,234
Hey, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.
1641
01:39:18,236 --> 01:39:20,502
It has been a pleasure.
1642
01:39:21,836 --> 01:39:24,967
- Hi, Yukio.
- Hi, Wade!
1643
01:39:26,502 --> 01:39:27,869
And you...
1644
01:39:28,303 --> 01:39:30,135
Chrome Bone.
1645
01:39:30,137 --> 01:39:33,301
I haven't always been
the best friend to you.
1646
01:39:33,303 --> 01:39:35,633
But you've always been
that to me.
1647
01:39:35,635 --> 01:39:37,070
So thank you.
1648
01:39:39,203 --> 01:39:40,869
Say "fuck" for me.
1649
01:39:41,535 --> 01:39:42,800
Just once. Come on,
1650
01:39:42,802 --> 01:39:44,533
we'll do it together.
It's no big deal.
1651
01:39:44,535 --> 01:39:47,800
Here we go. One, two, three.
F... F... F...
1652
01:39:47,802 --> 01:39:48,734
Fuck.
1653
01:39:48,736 --> 01:39:52,169
Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.
1654
01:39:53,436 --> 01:39:56,533
And you, Cable.
1655
01:39:56,535 --> 01:40:00,967
You get back to your family.
You tell 'em Wade says hi.
1656
01:40:00,969 --> 01:40:04,700
And promise me.
Promise me one thing.
1657
01:40:04,702 --> 01:40:06,267
That you'll start
judging people...
1658
01:40:06,269 --> 01:40:07,600
not by the color of their skin,
1659
01:40:07,602 --> 01:40:09,702
but by the content
of their character.
1660
01:40:10,303 --> 01:40:11,969
- Jesus.
- R-Dog?
1661
01:40:13,137 --> 01:40:15,533
There you are. Hey!
1662
01:40:15,535 --> 01:40:17,535
You're a superhero now, bubba.
1663
01:40:18,936 --> 01:40:20,234
Look.
1664
01:40:20,236 --> 01:40:22,936
Family is not an F-word.
1665
01:40:23,535 --> 01:40:24,834
All right?
1666
01:40:24,836 --> 01:40:27,401
There's one out there for you.
1667
01:40:27,403 --> 01:40:29,169
Just keep looking, okay?
1668
01:40:32,535 --> 01:40:35,535
Guys, for a second there...
1669
01:40:36,203 --> 01:40:38,936
we made a pretty good team.
1670
01:40:53,336 --> 01:40:55,535
Oh, it's so hard to go.
1671
01:40:56,769 --> 01:40:59,236
I just love being around
you guys so much.
1672
01:41:00,303 --> 01:41:01,702
So, so much.
1673
01:41:02,269 --> 01:41:03,600
Mmm.
1674
01:41:03,602 --> 01:41:06,500
No, I can feel it now.
Here it comes, yeah.
1675
01:41:06,502 --> 01:41:10,434
I feel the soul
exiting the husk.
1676
01:41:10,436 --> 01:41:11,635
Yeah.
1677
01:41:13,236 --> 01:41:15,667
Can you see it?
1678
01:41:15,669 --> 01:41:18,004
Do you see
that beautiful bright light?
1679
01:41:19,370 --> 01:41:20,702
There it is.
1680
01:41:26,702 --> 01:41:27,935
Oh, that's the sun.
1681
01:41:27,937 --> 01:41:30,201
Don't stare directly into that.
1682
01:41:30,203 --> 01:41:31,533
I just have a few final words.
1683
01:41:33,869 --> 01:41:35,169
Woodpecker.
1684
01:41:36,004 --> 01:41:37,269
Gingivitis.
1685
01:41:39,303 --> 01:41:40,802
Codswallop.
1686
01:41:44,869 --> 01:41:47,037
Do You Want to Build a Snowman?
1687
01:42:25,702 --> 01:42:28,502
♪ We're talking away ♪
1688
01:42:29,937 --> 01:42:32,868
♪ I don't know what I'm to say ♪
1689
01:42:32,870 --> 01:42:35,502
♪ I'll say it anyway ♪
1690
01:42:36,602 --> 01:42:41,267
♪ Today's another day
to find you ♪
1691
01:42:41,269 --> 01:42:43,103
♪ Shying away ♪
1692
01:42:44,236 --> 01:42:47,203
♪ I'll be coming
for your love, okay? ♪
1693
01:42:48,069 --> 01:42:52,702
♪ Take on me ♪
1694
01:42:55,436 --> 01:43:00,635
♪ Take me on ♪
1695
01:43:01,903 --> 01:43:03,234
Sorry I'm late.
1696
01:43:03,236 --> 01:43:04,700
There was a bunch
1697
01:43:04,702 --> 01:43:06,201
of handicapable children
who were stuck in a tree.
1698
01:43:06,203 --> 01:43:07,569
- No.
- No.
1699
01:43:08,436 --> 01:43:11,533
- But I did have to help a kid.
- Yeah.
1700
01:43:11,535 --> 01:43:13,500
- He's got a terrible name.
- It's just awful.
1701
01:43:13,502 --> 01:43:14,702
- Ugh.
- I tried to tell him.
1702
01:43:16,969 --> 01:43:18,269
Is this heaven?
1703
01:43:19,169 --> 01:43:20,535
It is now.
1704
01:43:23,903 --> 01:43:25,803
I am so sorry.
1705
01:43:26,470 --> 01:43:28,700
It's okay.
1706
01:43:28,702 --> 01:43:31,969
♪ Slowly learning
that life is okay ♪
1707
01:43:32,635 --> 01:43:34,937
♪ Say after me ♪
1708
01:43:36,069 --> 01:43:39,702
♪ It's no better to be safe
than sorry ♪
1709
01:43:40,336 --> 01:43:44,736
♪ Take on me ♪
1710
01:43:47,602 --> 01:43:49,702
I missed you so much.
1711
01:43:55,169 --> 01:43:56,903
What is it? What's wrong?
1712
01:43:58,635 --> 01:44:00,700
It's not time.
1713
01:44:00,702 --> 01:44:02,734
What do you mean it's not time?
1714
01:44:02,736 --> 01:44:04,468
I'm here, I made it.
1715
01:44:04,470 --> 01:44:06,067
- You can't stay.
- No, no, no.
1716
01:44:06,069 --> 01:44:09,034
I'm staying. I'm not going
anywhere without you.
1717
01:44:09,036 --> 01:44:10,434
It's okay.
1718
01:44:10,436 --> 01:44:13,502
There's a time for us.
It's just not now.
1719
01:44:14,303 --> 01:44:16,870
- They need you.
- Who?
1720
01:44:18,702 --> 01:44:20,136
Your F-word.
1721
01:44:21,336 --> 01:44:22,667
Why?
1722
01:44:22,669 --> 01:44:24,669
You'll find out.
1723
01:44:25,436 --> 01:44:27,569
It's all right. I'll be here.
1724
01:44:28,602 --> 01:44:30,003
I love you.
1725
01:44:32,403 --> 01:44:34,936
I know. I love you, too.
1726
01:44:35,535 --> 01:44:36,737
Now, go.
1727
01:44:37,770 --> 01:44:39,969
Go on. Go, get out of here.
1728
01:44:41,003 --> 01:44:42,003
Go.
1729
01:44:45,069 --> 01:44:46,069
Hey!
1730
01:44:48,870 --> 01:44:51,203
Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
1731
01:44:51,902 --> 01:44:53,003
Well, come here.
1732
01:44:55,269 --> 01:45:00,602
♪ Take me on ♪
1733
01:45:02,569 --> 01:45:07,635
♪ I'll be gone ♪
1734
01:45:08,703 --> 01:45:11,803
♪ In a day or two ♪
1735
01:45:12,303 --> 01:45:13,701
Don't fuck Elvis.
1736
01:45:13,703 --> 01:45:15,869
- Don't fuck Colossus.
- What?
1737
01:45:25,569 --> 01:45:27,001
Time to make the chimichangas.
1738
01:45:27,003 --> 01:45:27,934
30 seconds.
1739
01:45:27,936 --> 01:45:29,368
Hey. Been meaning to ask you...
1740
01:45:29,370 --> 01:45:31,801
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?
1741
01:45:31,803 --> 01:45:33,667
It's my daughter's teddy bear.
1742
01:45:33,669 --> 01:45:35,101
Her name's Hope.
1743
01:45:35,103 --> 01:45:36,203
Well...
1744
01:45:37,370 --> 01:45:39,301
What are you doing?
1745
01:45:39,303 --> 01:45:41,167
Somebody swiped right.
1746
01:45:53,470 --> 01:45:56,267
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1747
01:45:59,003 --> 01:46:01,134
You sacrificed yourself for me.
1748
01:46:01,136 --> 01:46:02,737
It would seem I...
1749
01:46:04,770 --> 01:46:06,003
Huh?
1750
01:46:07,103 --> 01:46:09,569
Genuine, high-grade lead.
1751
01:46:11,303 --> 01:46:14,368
You time-sliding son of a bitch!
1752
01:46:14,370 --> 01:46:16,036
You did this for me?
1753
01:46:17,737 --> 01:46:20,834
Wait. You can't go back.
1754
01:46:20,836 --> 01:46:22,301
You used the last of your fuel.
1755
01:46:22,303 --> 01:46:23,934
What about your girl, your wife?
1756
01:46:23,936 --> 01:46:27,535
Now, my family's safe.
And I didn't do it for you.
1757
01:46:28,703 --> 01:46:31,301
No, I'm gonna stick around
for a while...
1758
01:46:31,303 --> 01:46:32,533
and make sure the world
1759
01:46:32,535 --> 01:46:34,502
doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.
1760
01:46:35,069 --> 01:46:37,969
No. You did it for me.
1761
01:46:38,569 --> 01:46:40,167
No, I didn't.
1762
01:46:40,169 --> 01:46:41,533
- You did.
- I really didn't.
1763
01:46:41,535 --> 01:46:43,434
- Pretty sure you did.
- No, I'm positive I didn't.
1764
01:46:43,436 --> 01:46:45,101
Fine. All right,
let's flip a coin. Okay?
1765
01:46:45,103 --> 01:46:47,867
Heads, you did it for me.
Tails, you did it for me.
1766
01:46:47,869 --> 01:46:50,636
I'm not even gonna look,
because you did it for me.
1767
01:46:51,036 --> 01:46:51,900
Say it again.
1768
01:46:51,902 --> 01:46:53,668
- He did it for me.
- Jesus.
1769
01:46:53,670 --> 01:46:55,634
- We must get the collar off.
- Forget it. It's no use.
1770
01:46:55,636 --> 01:46:57,701
These collars
don't just come off.
1771
01:46:57,703 --> 01:46:58,703
Wade.
1772
01:46:59,136 --> 01:47:00,900
I have an idea.
1773
01:47:00,902 --> 01:47:03,034
No, no, no!
Let's not do that. Please!
1774
01:47:03,036 --> 01:47:05,601
I'd rather die of cancer.
Let's just...
1775
01:47:05,603 --> 01:47:08,867
Oh, God! They do say the pen
is grosser than the sword.
1776
01:47:08,869 --> 01:47:11,234
We need the code.
1777
01:47:11,236 --> 01:47:13,001
Try, uh, seven?
1778
01:47:13,003 --> 01:47:14,701
Settle down, Captain Lucky.
1779
01:47:14,703 --> 01:47:16,301
It's not gonna be one number.
1780
01:47:16,303 --> 01:47:17,569
Oh, God, that's lazy writing.
1781
01:47:18,370 --> 01:47:19,836
I still got it.
1782
01:47:22,670 --> 01:47:24,836
Put that back
in your prison wallet.
1783
01:47:26,403 --> 01:47:28,334
I don't know how to thank you.
1784
01:47:28,336 --> 01:47:30,301
But I do know how to hug you.
1785
01:47:30,303 --> 01:47:31,568
- No.
- Yes.
1786
01:47:31,570 --> 01:47:33,201
Here we go. Bring it in.
1787
01:47:33,203 --> 01:47:34,301
Come on.
1788
01:47:34,303 --> 01:47:35,668
Pelvis to pelvis.
1789
01:47:35,670 --> 01:47:37,001
Let's go tip to tip.
1790
01:47:37,003 --> 01:47:39,934
There we go.
The kids call this docking.
1791
01:47:41,403 --> 01:47:42,934
Is there a knife in my dick?
1792
01:47:42,936 --> 01:47:44,834
- There's a knife in your dick.
- I'm just gonna back up now.
1793
01:47:44,836 --> 01:47:46,700
- Yeah, yeah.
- No need to go full Yentl.
1794
01:47:46,702 --> 01:47:49,568
Gonna pretend
like that never happened.
1795
01:47:49,570 --> 01:47:51,702
Let's go home, Russell.
1796
01:47:55,236 --> 01:47:57,468
All you dirty mutants
1797
01:47:57,470 --> 01:47:59,568
are gonna rot in hell
with the boy!
1798
01:47:59,570 --> 01:48:02,668
Your souls
are beyond redemption!
1799
01:48:02,670 --> 01:48:03,934
Let's see your soul, perv!
1800
01:48:03,936 --> 01:48:07,034
No, no! No! No more!
We're better than that!
1801
01:48:07,036 --> 01:48:08,067
We're better than him!
1802
01:48:08,069 --> 01:48:10,800
No more senseless violence!
No more bloodshed!
1803
01:48:10,802 --> 01:48:12,500
We'll let karma
take care of him.
1804
01:48:12,502 --> 01:48:15,702
The day of reckoning is here!
1805
01:48:24,769 --> 01:48:27,067
I'm gonna miss him.
He seemed great.
1806
01:48:27,069 --> 01:48:28,267
Whoo!
1807
01:48:28,269 --> 01:48:30,001
Courage, motherfuckers!
1808
01:48:30,003 --> 01:48:31,167
And karma, motherfucker.
1809
01:48:31,169 --> 01:48:32,834
I could hear you
coming the last 30 seconds.
1810
01:48:32,836 --> 01:48:35,067
I could barely keep
a straight face.
1811
01:48:35,069 --> 01:48:36,767
I want some more.
1812
01:48:36,769 --> 01:48:38,568
I bet you do, Brown Panther.
1813
01:48:38,570 --> 01:48:42,034
We should leave
before Fuckernaut wakes up.
1814
01:48:42,036 --> 01:48:44,468
Good call. You guys
coming with us?
1815
01:48:44,470 --> 01:48:46,468
No, we'll get the kids
back to the mansion.
1816
01:48:46,470 --> 01:48:48,134
Besides, we're X-Men.
1817
01:48:48,136 --> 01:48:50,700
No, you're X-People.
1818
01:48:50,702 --> 01:48:51,967
You're exhausting.
1819
01:48:51,969 --> 01:48:54,568
I see what you did there. Puns.
1820
01:48:54,570 --> 01:48:57,067
- Bye, Wade!
- Bye, Yukio!
1821
01:48:59,370 --> 01:49:00,469
What do you get
1822
01:49:00,471 --> 01:49:01,601
when you take
eight feet of chrome...
1823
01:49:01,603 --> 01:49:02,767
one pinch of courage...
1824
01:49:02,769 --> 01:49:04,201
a cup of good luck...
1825
01:49:04,203 --> 01:49:05,667
a dab of racism...
1826
01:49:05,669 --> 01:49:06,934
a splash of diabetes...
1827
01:49:06,936 --> 01:49:09,667
and a wheelbarrow
full of stage four cancer?
1828
01:49:09,669 --> 01:49:12,267
Answer: a family.
1829
01:49:12,269 --> 01:49:15,601
See? I didn't lie
what kind of film this was.
1830
01:49:15,603 --> 01:49:17,001
If there's anything
you take away today...
1831
01:49:17,003 --> 01:49:20,067
other than the need to Google,
"What the fuck is dubstep?"...
1832
01:49:20,069 --> 01:49:23,103
it's that we all need
to belong to someone.
1833
01:49:25,793 --> 01:49:30,793
Subtitles by explosiveskull
1834
01:51:20,536 --> 01:51:22,400
How something so small generates
1835
01:51:22,402 --> 01:51:24,400
enough energy
to reverse time is...
1836
01:51:24,402 --> 01:51:26,433
Oh, just fix it, Eleven,
1837
01:51:26,435 --> 01:51:28,600
or I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.
1838
01:51:28,602 --> 01:51:30,001
Cable's gonna kill you
when he finds out.
1839
01:51:30,003 --> 01:51:31,067
Never heard of him.
1840
01:51:31,069 --> 01:51:32,636
Why do you think
I'm helping him?
1841
01:51:33,669 --> 01:51:36,101
The Lord works
in mysterious ways,
1842
01:51:36,103 --> 01:51:38,302
don't I? A good day.
1843
01:51:39,069 --> 01:51:40,069
Bye, Wade!
1844
01:51:40,669 --> 01:51:41,669
Bye, Yukio!
1845
01:51:42,936 --> 01:51:45,367
That was probably a bad idea.
1846
01:51:45,369 --> 01:51:47,300
What have we done?
1847
01:52:05,302 --> 01:52:07,268
I hope we sharpened
the cream cheese spreader.
1848
01:52:17,402 --> 01:52:18,969
I'll be right back!
1849
01:52:20,736 --> 01:52:23,569
We're definitely naming
our kid Cher!
1850
01:52:23,869 --> 01:52:24,869
Whoo!
1851
01:52:26,736 --> 01:52:28,068
Peter!
1852
01:52:28,070 --> 01:52:29,500
Whoo! X-Force!
1853
01:52:29,502 --> 01:52:31,869
Walk away! Just walk away!
1854
01:52:32,769 --> 01:52:33,867
But we're X-Force!
1855
01:52:33,869 --> 01:52:35,567
Nope! We're not,
there's no X-Force!
1856
01:52:35,569 --> 01:52:39,068
All right, well,
this has been pretty scary!
1857
01:52:39,070 --> 01:52:41,734
Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.
1858
01:52:41,736 --> 01:52:44,636
Okay. Will you give
Domino my email?
1859
01:52:53,836 --> 01:52:55,669
Wade, is that you?
1860
01:52:57,936 --> 01:52:59,268
I guess Stryker finally
1861
01:52:59,270 --> 01:53:00,702
figured out how to shut you up.
1862
01:53:07,236 --> 01:53:10,367
Hey! It's me! Don't scratch!
1863
01:53:10,369 --> 01:53:12,801
Just cleaning up the timelines!
1864
01:53:17,335 --> 01:53:18,736
Love you!
1865
01:53:21,104 --> 01:53:22,536
Welcome to the big leagues, kid.
1866
01:53:29,936 --> 01:53:31,803
You're welcome, Canada.
130903
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