Original subtitles

FIVE TIMES TWO

The wife's name.

Marion Ferron will not keep her husband's name.

She will resume the use of her maiden name Ohabart.

The couple has been legally separated since December 20, 2002,

when Mr. Ferron moved in accordance with the provisional agreement.

Liquidation of the marital assets.

The couple does not have joint ownership of any real property.

The wife will keep the rental apartment,

assuming full financial responsibility.

Mr. And Mrs. Ferron have begun dividing theirfurniture

in accordance with the annex to the provisional agreement.

The parties have regained possession of their personal property,

including family heirlooms.

The parties have no outstanding bank loans in common.

Ohildren.

The couple has only one child,

Nicolas Ferron, born November 15, 1999 in Paris.

The parents have agreed to exercise joint parental authority.

This expressly requires both parents

to participate in decisions regarding the child's future,

to consult one another and to act consensually.

Nicolas will reside with his mother.

Oonsidering his young age, visitation will be left open

to the parents to agree upon together.

If they cannot reach an accord, the father will have the child

on the first, third and fifth weekends of each month,

from Friday evening through Sunday evening at seven.

He will pick up and drop off the child at the mother's domicile.

The first half of school vacations in even years,

and the second half in odd years, are accorded to the father.

Mr. Ferron will pay 300 euros a month in child support

for his son's maintenance and education.

With regard to alimony,

the spouses declare no significant disparity in income

which would require it.

In accordance with Article 268 of the Oivil Oode,

Mr. And Mrs. Ferron revoke all advantages granted to each other

in their life insurance policies,

and all other gifts and advantages granted during the marriage,

whatever their nature.

Income taxes for the year 2002 through the date of the petition

will be prorated in accordance with each party's income,

and calculated as per the couple's taxable revenue.

Expenses of the divorce will be divided equally,

including the lawyer's fees.

Anything you'd like to add?

No, your honor. Ask my clients.

Madame, do you agree with the terms set forth?

Yes, sir.

Mr. Ferron?

Yes?

- Do you also agree? - Yes, I do.

Your divorce takes effect

on this day, the 17th of February 2003.

Now, if you'll please sign.

Madame...

Mr. Ferron.

Please initial the first two pages.

You want to close the curtains?

No need.

Are you coming?

Have you put on weight?

No.

Why the towel? Because we're not married now?

I don't know.

Sorry.

Yes?

Shit, I forgot.

Actually I can't now.

Yes, yes.

It went fine.

I'll call you back. I'm with Gilles.

No, we're in a caf��.

Take care. Yeah, ok.

My mother.

Oh yeah?

I forgot we had a lunch date.

- How is she? - Same as usual.

How's it going with your dad?

- They're not speaking. - Did he leave?

No, he's still there.

They'll never separate.

Kiss me.

Why are you closing your eyes?

So you can't see my mug, right?

This is ridiculous.

I never should have come here.

It doesn't make sense.

Stop it...

Let's stop...

- What is it? - I don't want to.

Stop it!

Stop!

Gilles!

You think I'd kill myself over you?

Asshole.

I'm leaving.

Don't go, I need to talk.

Please.

What was it about Nicolas?

School vacation.

Want me to take him?

Aren't you working?

I'll take some time off.

I thought I'd take him to Mom's.

Did you ask him what he wants?

No.

Where would you go?

I don't know.

Skiing, maybe. Fred rented a chalet.

Isn't he too little to ski?

Kids start young these days.

It'd be good for him.

Maybe.

I'll talk to him about it.

- I'll let you know. - Are you with anyone?

No, I already told you.

Don't you miss it?

Actually, it feels good to be alone.

Had any lovers?

Nothing serious.

Do I know them?

Are you still with Ohristine?

How's that going?

Not great.

This is hard for me, too.

You seem to be holding up pretty well.

I'm just happy it's overwith.

Happy...

Happy is good.

What's the matter?

I'm just saying you're strong.

In what way?

You get undressed, you get laid, and you're happy.

- Go get fucked by someone else. - Shut up!

You won.

Oall me about Nicolas.

I didn't win or lose. It's just over.

You're right, as always.

It's over. Nothing left to say.

Marion?

Do you want to try again?

The garbage goes here?

Then where does it go?

Open the garage door.

Good job!

Mommy's home.

We're in here.

Hello, my darlings!

How are you?

I bought a cake.

You made everything? Looks good.

I'll admit I'm worn out.

I had a hard day, I'm exhausted.

Oan you watch him? I need to take a shower.

Sure, just let me fix my makeup first.

- But you're fine. - I'll be quick.

Want some more pasta?

Not really? How about dessert?

No dessert?

That tickles?

- You're getting pretty for them? - Darn you!

You made me mess up.

Mommy's gorgeous. Oan you take him?

I got pretty for you too, sweetie.

Shall we read a story?

Let's go.

"One afternoon, while she was making an airplane..."

She's watering the new flowers.

Aren't they pretty?

"One afternoon,

"while she was making a paper airplane, the door opened."

Who is it?

L on! -

L on. -

"Peek-a-boo, it's me!"

L��on!

What are they doing there?

What are they doing?

They're kissing!

He didn't shut the door.

No, he didn't. He was so happy he forgot to shut it.

They're here!

- Hello! - How are you?

Fine, and you?

- All alone? - He's not here yet?

No. Weren't you coming together?

He had something to do, I gave him the address.

- I hope he comes. - I'm sure he will.

Well, he's unpredictable.

- Where's Gilles? - In the shower.

- You guys doing better? - I'll tell you later.

What would you like?

Gin, please.

What a gorgeous dress! It's great on you. Where'd you get it?

- It was my mother's. - Really?

Hello.

- How's it going? - Good, and you?

Not bad.

- Is Nicolas in bed? - Yes.

- Did he cry? - Just a little.

Two of my lesbian friends just had a baby.

I saw him at the clinic.

He's adorable. I want one.

How'd they do it?

With a friend and a teaspoon. It works great.

- A teaspoon? - The friend was gay. He jacked off,

then the mother put the sperm in her vagina with a spoon.

- That's weird. - Hey, whatever works!

But what do you tell your kid?

The truth.

I wish them luck!

Don't be so old-fashioned.

Sperm in a spoon is easier than a hetero husband!

What a load of crap.

I thought I'd ask yourwife to be my surrogate...

I guess that's out.

Isn't your boyfriend coming?

He's supposed to. I don't know where he is.

Should I call him?

No, don't worry. He'll be here.

I don't believe in fidelity.

It's impossible, and frankly it serves no purpose.

Do you agree, Ohristophe?

He's right. Why should people force it? It's not natural.

Well, out of...

respect for your partner.

To build trust.

But every couple

has lies and secrets.

And it's better not to share everything.

Seriously, why resist temptation? What do you gain?

- Nothing but regrets. - No!

You feel stronger

for having resisted those passing temptations.

Marion, you always amaze me.

What's your opinion, Gilles?

I don't have one.

Liar!

- What do you want me to say? - Anything but the truth.

Ok.

I've never cheated on Marion.

I've cheated on Ohristophe twice. Nothing serious.

A couple of one-night stands. No big deal.

- And you told him? - Of course.

I tell him everything.

He's young, I can't stop him.

And so far he always comes back.

- Aren't you jealous? - What for?

I'm old now, but I was the same at his age.

Actually, I prefer it this way.

It takes the pressure off.

Have you cheated on me?

What do you want me to say?

No, of course!

Incredible.

You expect me to indulge you, but be faithful myself.

That's my Mediterranean, macho side.

I've only cheated on Marion once.

Just once.

Is this the right time?

We're all sharing. I want to tell my little story.

Why do only fags get to be unfaithful?

How about a nice tale of hetero adultery?

Why not, if it's funny?

Funny I don't know, but it's interesting.

Do you mind, Marion?

No, I don't mind.

Maybe we should leave.

I want to hear what he's going to tell you.

Alright then, it was...

over a year ago.

We were with friends we hadn't seen since the wedding.

At a party at their house in the suburbs.

Great vibe, friendly people, about 20 of us,

good music, warm atmosphere, everyone drunk as a skunk.

Around midnight, ourfriend turned down the lights,

and we realized that for those who were interested,

the party was tuming into an orgy.

How cool!

It was pretty surprising.

We didn't know them very well, but we were drunk.

I found it amusing. I don't know.

The women got undressed and laid down on mattresses on the floor,

and the guys followed suit. They had poppers, gel,

rubbers, even coke.

At first we just sat in a corner watching, intrigued.

And then, Marion took my hand,

and squeezed it tight.

I asked her if she felt like trying.

And you said,

"No. But you go ahead, if you want."

I said I'd only do it if you did, but you insisted.

You wanted to sit there and watch,

just watch.

This girl came to get us, so I went.

While Marion observed me

from the shadows.

You fucked that girl in front of Marion?

Yes.

That girl, and others.

There were guys, too.

You did stuff with guys?

Sure, I seized the opportunity.

You only live once. Now I know what my brotherfeels.

You're full of shit.

What'd you do with the guys?

Sucked some cock, then took it up the ass while I fucked a girl.

You took it up the ass?

You took it up the ass?

Marion, don't tell me you guys really...

It's true.

Let's go in the living room.

I've got to get going.

There's a party I promised I'd go to.

Are you going too, Ohristophe?

Mathieu, do you want me to?

If you want. But it's gonna be techno and young people.

Just his cup of tea!

You go ahead, we'll hook up after.

I'll call you when I'm done.

Thanks for everything, it was great.

- Sure, see you soon. - See you.

I'll call you.

- Bye Marion. - I'll see you out.

Alright, let's go.

Bye.

- Nice kid. - You like him, really?

Sure, he's sweet, intelligent...

and seems to know what he wants.

Yeah, he's great. I'm glad you like him.

I think Marion does, too.

I get that impression.

We're good together.

Rinse the dishes before you put them in.

Where's the aluminium foil?

I don't know.

I'm happy for your brother.

Why?

Seeing him so in love like that.

It doesn't happen often.

I think it's pathetic.

Why do you say that?

That kid doesn't give a shit about him.

He went to the party by himself.

It won't last.

Unbelievable. When it comes to your brother,

you're so negative.

And you're so positive.

It can't possibly last.

How do you know?

Non-traditional relationships aren't doomed to failure.

As long as people trust each other.

Sure, right.

He told me they aren't fucking.

Gilles?

- What? - What are you doing?

Nothing. He was crying.

Are you coming?

Let me sleep.

It is indeed a boy.

Have you thought about names?

Yes.

But we can't agree.

Nothing unusual to report?

No.

Just the spotting this morning.

This is strange...

What?

Has he kicked much lately?

No.

He's actually calmed down.

Why, is something wrong?

The placenta is obstructing the birth canal.

Is it serious?

No, no.

But if there's more bleeding, we'll have to induce labor.

Yes, honey?

Aren't you at the clinic?

Really, why?

Yes, I'm here.

I'll be right there. Don't worry, I'm on my way.

Yes.

Delphine?

I'm working, hold my calls.

Thank you.

- You finally showed! - Hi Monique.

We waited 3 hours, Marion was so upset.

- How is she? - It was rough.

She's resting.

They gave her a tranquilizer.

And the baby?

The baby... He's in an incubator, he's tiny.

He didn't want to come out.

And the epidural didn't take. She went through hell.

Where were you? We left messages!

I got stuck in traffic.

Right.

Marion didn't understand.

She was worried. I sat in for you.

It was awful, she bled a lot.

Luckily they did a caesarean.

In my day, things weren't so quick and efficient.

You know I lost my first baby.

Yes, you told me about it.

Are you sure that's him?

Yes, the tiny one, number 5.

Not the one on the left?

Gilles, I guarantee you he's number 5.

Why? Don't you like him?

Sure, I don't know, he just seems so fragile.

The midwife explained it.

The placenta was preventing the baby from growing.

That's why he's so small.

Luckily they saw it, he could've died in the womb.

But she said we don't need to worry.

They usually catch up quickly in size and weight.

He'll grow normally, without problems.

Gilles?

What's wrong? Are you ill?

I just need some air. I'll step outside.

- Shall I come? - I'm ok, thanks.

I'll meet you in the waiting room, then?

Yes.

We'll see if Marion's awake?

I'll be right back.

Shit!

Hello there, Gilles!

So he's born, is he?

Yes. Marion's resting.

So, are you happy?

Yeah.

We just weren't expecting him so soon.

Well, shit happens when you least expect it.

- Is Monique here? - In the waiting room.

Did she have a fit?

Excuse me?

She's so glad to finally be a grandmother she must be hysterical.

I don't know.

Anyway she's always hysterical.

Let's go see my daughter and her little monster.

I'll be right up.

Are your parents here?

No, I haven't called them yet.

See you in a minute.

It's the answering machine.

I can't believe it.

I hope he's ok.

You just gave birth and you're worried about him?

Oome on, Mom...

You don't understand.

He's not the one who just had a caesarean!

But I'm not surprised.

When I miscarried, yourfatherwas nowhere around.

Apparently he had better things to do.

Are you going to shut your big mouth?

What's wrong with you?

Oan't you give your daughter 5 minutes peace?

You always spew the same old crap and we're sick of it.

Is it my fault Gilles isn't here, like you weren't?

Whenever there's a problem, you men disappear!

Alright you two, stop it now!

This is not the time!

Your dad started it.

Shut your trap!

That's all we're asking.

I'm leaving, you need to get some rest.

Bye Daddy. Thanks for coming.

Did you hear how he spoke to me?

It doesn't matter.

At least he came.

That doesn't give him the right to yell at me.

Go on, go with him.

Really?

You know he's waiting in the car.

Yes.

Get some rest, honey.

Hello?

It's me.

Where are you?

I'll explain later, it's complicated.

Are you alright?

No, I'm not alright.

What is it?

Nothing. I'm in pain, it hurts.

Why aren't you here?

Why did you leave?

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

Did you decide on the name?

- I forgot about that. - What do you like?

I don't know.

And you?

You wanted Nicolas?

Yes, I like Nicolas.

Ok, Nicolas.

- Marion? - Yes?

I love you.

Oould you stop by the house and get me some stuff?

Ok.

Marion?

Do you have a marriage contract?

Yes.

In accordance with Article 75 of the Oivil Oode,

I will now read Articles 212 through 215,

setting forth the spouses' rights and duties.

Article 212:

Spouses mutually owe each otherfidelity,

support and assistance.

Article 213:

Spouses will provide material and moral guidance for the family

and ensure their children's education.

Article 214:

If a pre-nuptial agreement does not regulate financial contributions,

the spouses shall contribute in proportion to their respective means.

And finally, Article 215:

Spouses mutually oblige themselves to a community of living.

Miss Marion Ohabart,

do you take Mr. Gilles Ferron, to be your husband?

Yes.

Mr. Gilles Ferron,

do you take Miss Marion Ohabart to be yourwife?

Yes.

You are now legally united by the bonds of marriage.

Oongratulations.

I want you so bad.

- Are you happy? - I'm happy.

Are you happy?

- I can't hear you. - Yes!

I can't get my dress off.

You're beautiful.

Help me, I can't get it off.

- It's ok, leave it on. - I want it off!

I'll take it off in the bathroom.

Keep the garter belt, but lose the panties!

How sweet.

I kept the panties, but if you want I'll strip for you.

So, you're already bored with me?

Gilles?

Are you sleeping?

Goodnight, my love.

Goodnight.

You scared me!

I love you.

I love you, I love you.

How's the water?

It's cold, come on!

Ajellyfish, a jellyfish!

It's huge!

Good evening.

I just arrived, I missed my plane.

- Are you Miss Ohabart? - Yes.

We've been expecting you. Welcome to the Oalypso.

- How was your trip? - Not great.

I understand.

Someone will show you to your room.

Here is your key.

Room 213.

- Are you superstitious? - No, no.

I feel great after that swim.

It's not so bad here after all.

Ah, finally!

See, you can trust me.

And it's not crowded.

Strange, all these people alone.

They're just single people looking for a fling.

How dreadful! I'd never come here alone.

Why not?

It's like a singles' club.

How sad.

You can't help it, can you?

What?

You're so critical, there's always something wrong.

I'm just making an observation.

- Is it nice out? - Yes.

I slept great.

Didn't you hear the noise?

No, what noise?

I don't know, it sounded like doors slamming.

I didn't hear a thing.

- Want some toast? - Yes.

Excuse me...

Marion?

Yes?

Mr. Ferron! What are you doing here?

What about you? Weren't you going to Senegal?

Yes! But my friend cancelled, so I picked another trip.

This is funny!

I'm here with my girlfriend.

We didn't see you on the plane.

I missed it. I got here last night.

I see.

Are you with someone?

No, I came alone.

Like to join us for lunch?

Sure, why not?

How strange meeting you here!

I'll say! I never thought I'd see you in a swimsuit.

See you at the restaurant.

Ok, bye.

Who was that?

A girl who does publicity for us.

It's wild running into her here.

You didn't know she was coming?

No, we barely know each other.

Are you jealous?

You're jealous, aren't you?

I invited her to lunch, she's here alone.

Is she nice?

Actually, I don't know.

We'll find out.

You don't mind being here alone?

I do, but my friend cancelled at the last minute.

We were going to Senegal.

Oh well, next time.

That would've been a different vacation.

Especially since nothing was organized.

It was more of an adventure.

That's what I wanted to do.

Why didn't you?

Ask him.

We only had a week.

Gilles works too much.

I wanted to take two weeks and see Sicily first.

Oh well, next time.

Sicily is beautiful.

You've been there?

Yes. My boyfriend was Sicilian, we'd go to see his family.

Do you want to go back?

Not right away.

We broke up four months ago. I'm not strong enough yet.

I'm sorry.

It's alright, you didn't know.

Anyway, it's over now.

Make an effort! We can't get a rally going.

No need to get cross.

Got the water?

Thanks.

Shit!

Here, you pick them up.

I need a volunteer!

Who wants to descend into hell?

Don't rush forward all at once!

Such a shy group...

Pick out a nice one, Guiseppe.

Bring me...

the lady.

Oome on, don't be shy.

- Go for it! - No.

How about the gentleman?

Are you interested in the pleasures of hell?

Who, me?

Grab him, let's be done with it.

Around of applause!

Oome on, let's go!

C...

Followed by I. How do you like that?

Now a lovely A.

Anice, round O.

Do you like it? Do you get it?

First of all,

show your pen to the audience.

Your pen, that's right.

Oheck out the Frenchman's pen!

Beautiful!

We're going to write "spaghetti".

Start with an S.

Now for a P.

Now for a pretty A.

Give me a G...

And an H.

And an E!

Double T's.

Now dot the I.

Bravo, you were hilarious.

- You've got the moves. - Thanks.

I'm used to it, that's how we communicate at work.

I didn't get it, I don't speak Italian.

That's too bad. Though it wasn't exactly poetry!

I didn't think so.

Want to join me for a drink at the disco?

Not me. Tomorrow we're up early for a hike.

But you go ahead, Gilles.

Not if you're not coming.

Well then, enjoy your hike. Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Why'd you say no? Didn't you want a drink?

Not really.

Do you mind if I sit next to you?

It's taken. Sorry.

I thought you didn't want a drink.

- You want one? - Sure.

That girl is sweet.

Who?

Marion.

Trying to sell her to me?

I'm just saying she's pretty, and nice.

Would it tum you on if I slept with her?

No, but it would turn you on.

You're right.

She's the one I want to fuck tonight.

You look comfortable.

- It's you! - Hello.

- May I sit down? - Of course.

What happened to the hike?

Valerie went alone. I wasn't up to it.

I felt like sleeping in and getting a tan.

It's nice here.

Totally deserted.

It's a break from the holiday village.

How was the disco?

Not bad. I went to bed early.

Alone?

Why do you ask?

I don't know.

When you're out alone,

it's easier to meet people, isn't it?

You don't know me very well. I only went to dance.

- Been swimming yet? - No.

I was told the tide is dangerous at this beach.

- There are strong currents. - Really?

- It looks so peaceful. - True.

Have you been with anyone, since your boyfriend?

No, I haven't felt like it yet.

Have you and Valerie been together long?

Four years.

Are you married?

Why do you ask?

I don't know, no reason.

No.

We're thinking about it.

Shall we take a swim?

Ok.

Subtitles: Sionann O'Neill