Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:02,870
>> Hey, guys.
2
00:00:02,867 --> 00:00:04,097
I'm Ed Bassmaster and you may
3
00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:05,500
have seen me on YouTube.
4
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:06,930
The Looney Wheels.
5
00:00:06,933 --> 00:00:07,733
And that is me.
6
00:00:07,733 --> 00:00:08,833
>> What are you talking about?
7
00:00:08,833 --> 00:00:09,833
>> I'm a bush!
8
00:00:09,833 --> 00:00:10,833
That's me too.
9
00:00:10,833 --> 00:00:11,873
The crawfish here is amazing
10
00:00:11,867 --> 00:00:12,597
>> Yeah.
11
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:13,430
>> I just ordered it.
12
00:00:13,433 --> 00:00:14,573
When I see a car like this,
13
00:00:14,567 --> 00:00:15,427
the first thing I do is, I say,
14
00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:16,703
would you look at this?
15
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:17,570
Yeah all of those guys
16
00:00:17,567 --> 00:00:18,297
are me.
17
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:19,300
>> Ed Bassmaster!
18
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:20,130
You're my favorite.
19
00:00:20,133 --> 00:00:21,503
>> I have almost a billion views
20
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:22,600
on the internet and now I'm
21
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:24,130
going to take what I do
22
00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:26,873
to television.
23
00:00:26,867 --> 00:00:27,767
This is
24
00:00:27,767 --> 00:00:28,967
"The Ed Bassmaster Show."
25
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,003
Hey, guess who is running
26
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:33,870
security over at the convention
27
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:34,927
center today.
28
00:00:34,933 --> 00:00:35,773
This guy.
29
00:00:35,767 --> 00:00:37,297
Ah, ow!
30
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:39,000
Shampoo in my eye.
31
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,570
Yeah, roger that.
32
00:00:43,567 --> 00:00:44,427
When you are finished go ahead
33
00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:47,033
and copy, okay?
34
00:00:47,033 --> 00:00:48,303
You guys taking the escalator?
35
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,100
>> Yes, sir.
36
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,500
>> This is a DUI checkpoint.
37
00:00:52,967 --> 00:00:53,727
We are not allowed to let
38
00:00:53,733 --> 00:00:54,933
anybody ride the escalator that
39
00:00:54,933 --> 00:00:56,273
is under the influence
40
00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:57,197
of alcohol.
41
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:57,870
>> Oh.
42
00:00:57,867 --> 00:00:58,867
>> Yeah, it's the new Texas law.
43
00:00:58,867 --> 00:00:59,727
I'm gonna need you to submit to
44
00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:00,733
a breathalyzer test before you
45
00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:01,773
get into the escalator.
46
00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:03,897
Who's next?
47
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:05,700
>> Me.
48
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:06,500
>> You guys had any alcohol
49
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,070
this evening?
50
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:07,697
>> Nope.
51
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:08,370
>> Want to prove it?
52
00:01:08,367 --> 00:01:10,097
>> Yup.
53
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,100
>> You know what to do.
54
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:13,200
Good.
55
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,070
All right, drive safe.
56
00:01:14,067 --> 00:01:14,767
You smell fine.
57
00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:15,427
You smell fine.
58
00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:16,303
You guys with them?
59
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,170
All right, you're going to have
60
00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:18,767
to take the elevator.
61
00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:19,667
>> We'll take the--
62
00:01:19,667 --> 00:01:20,467
We'll all take the elevator.
63
00:01:20,467 --> 00:01:21,327
>> You'll all take the elevator?
64
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:22,103
State of Texas, we cannot
65
00:01:22,100 --> 00:01:23,730
allow one to ride mechanical
66
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:24,603
device such as this, such as
67
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,070
an escalator.
68
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:27,927
So disregard him, he's--
69
00:01:27,933 --> 00:01:29,073
The police are waiting for him
70
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,197
at the top of the steps.
71
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:31,170
He's going to jail.
72
00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:32,167
They're waiting for you
73
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:32,827
at the top, sir.
74
00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:33,673
Trust me on that deal.
75
00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:35,367
Uh, you just broke it, thanks,
76
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:36,067
but anyhow...
77
00:01:36,067 --> 00:01:36,897
You just be honest with me, sir,
78
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:37,500
I'm not gonna--
79
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:38,070
>> No, no, no.
80
00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:38,897
I was in the concert and I had
81
00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:39,570
a couple of drinks.
82
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:40,297
>> And you had a couple?
83
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,070
You're not getting behind
84
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:41,727
the wheel, are you?
85
00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:42,233
>> No sir.
86
00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:43,073
>> You have a great night.
87
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:43,667
>> You take it easy.
88
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:44,497
>> Go drink up, drink as much
89
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:45,400
as you want.
90
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,500
Sir, this is a DUI checkpoint..
91
00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:53,273
>> Oh, no, man.
92
00:01:53,267 --> 00:01:54,897
Ya'll playing.
93
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:56,330
(laughter)
94
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:02,370
**
95
00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:05,697
(farting)
96
00:02:09,833 --> 00:02:11,073
(farting, chuckling)
97
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,970
(farting)
98
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:15,627
>> You, too.
99
00:02:15,633 --> 00:02:16,703
Come here.
100
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,870
(farting, laughing)
101
00:02:18,867 --> 00:02:21,397
(farting)
102
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,400
(farting)
103
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,900
Here you go, puppy.
104
00:02:23,900 --> 00:02:25,070
(farting)
105
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,100
Huh?
106
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:30,570
It's okay.
107
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:31,227
>> Huh?
108
00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:32,573
>> It's not real. (farting)
109
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:33,927
It's not real. (farting)
110
00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:36,073
See, it's okay.
111
00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:37,067
(farting)
112
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:39,567
Brett Sellars out here
113
00:02:39,567 --> 00:02:40,427
in the park, folks.
114
00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:41,373
We just got word in,
115
00:02:41,367 --> 00:02:42,467
a shocking story going on
116
00:02:42,467 --> 00:02:43,227
right now in the park.
117
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:47,367
There's a guy going around
118
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:48,767
the park actually farting
119
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:49,827
on dogs
120
00:02:49,833 --> 00:02:51,073
and he farted
121
00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:52,327
on this guy's dog and his dog
122
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,733
has not moved since in the last
123
00:02:53,733 --> 00:02:54,903
20 minutes.
124
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:57,330
Could you kind of just go--
125
00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:58,173
Could you kind of just go with
126
00:02:58,167 --> 00:02:59,067
it and say you just witnessed it
127
00:02:59,067 --> 00:02:59,727
for us?
128
00:02:59,733 --> 00:03:00,473
>> Okay.
129
00:03:00,467 --> 00:03:01,367
>> Thank you.
130
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:02,197
Brett Sellars here.
131
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,170
We just stopped one of the eye
132
00:03:03,167 --> 00:03:04,227
witnesses of the dog
133
00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:05,073
farting attack.
134
00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,397
Uh, what happened, pal?
135
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,300
>> It was horrible.
136
00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:08,070
I think I am going to have
137
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:08,967
nightmares for the rest of
138
00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:10,197
my life.
139
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:10,870
>> Could you--
140
00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:11,597
Could you explain to us
141
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:12,200
what happened?
142
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:12,870
And try to make it
143
00:03:12,867 --> 00:03:14,467
sound real if you can.
144
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:15,227
>> Yeah.
145
00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:16,633
I was walking alone with my
146
00:03:16,633 --> 00:03:19,573
dogs, minding my own business,
147
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,327
and all of a sudden this dude
148
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:23,073
stop and lean over,
149
00:03:23,067 --> 00:03:24,767
bend over like squat,
150
00:03:24,767 --> 00:03:28,297
and farted on the dog's nose.
151
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,070
The poor dog was just frozen
152
00:03:30,067 --> 00:03:31,097
there and I was just, like,
153
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,770
protecting my dog, like, please
154
00:03:32,767 --> 00:03:34,327
don't do that to my child.
155
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,373
>> Could you tell us what he
156
00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:36,867
looked like?
157
00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,797
>> He was bald, very scary,
158
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,300
with tattoos.
159
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,570
Fat.
160
00:03:41,567 --> 00:03:42,227
>> Fat?
161
00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:43,203
>> Yeah.
162
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,930
>> So he probably had a Mexican
163
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,703
lunch and just letting it loose
164
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:47,600
on the dogs.
165
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,730
Anyhow, so then what
166
00:03:48,733 --> 00:03:50,273
happened next?
167
00:03:50,267 --> 00:03:51,167
>> Well, the dog just started
168
00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:52,927
shivering and shaking and he
169
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,403
was just paralyzed.
170
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,500
And then he--
171
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,500
He just saw me with my dogs
172
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,700
and and run towards me and I was
173
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,170
just pushing him and tried to
174
00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:03,067
get him out of my way, but--but
175
00:04:03,067 --> 00:04:04,767
he was just so fat and big and
176
00:04:04,767 --> 00:04:06,797
he would try to steal my dog and
177
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,830
I was just, like, please stop.
178
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,103
>> So it this your revenge
179
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:12,500
for the fart?
180
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:13,330
Thank you, Rob, we appreciate
181
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,803
your time.
182
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,370
>> So where do you keep home?
183
00:04:16,367 --> 00:04:17,467
>> Well, home is where
184
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:18,127
the heart is.
185
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:18,803
Right now it's in
186
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,570
Brentwood, Tennessee.
187
00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:20,427
>> I'm gonna put you on.
188
00:04:20,433 --> 00:04:21,133
>> You're gonna put--
189
00:04:21,133 --> 00:04:21,973
>> I'm gonna put you on,
190
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:23,067
I'm gonna make you a star.
191
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,067
I'm gonna make you a star.
192
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,167
>> Boy, I wish somebody would.
193
00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:25,927
>> I'm gonna help you out.
194
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:26,503
>> I've been--
195
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,330
For 60 years, I've been trying
196
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,073
to do that.
197
00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:28,927
>> You can try and do it, well,
198
00:04:28,933 --> 00:04:29,473
guess what?
199
00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:30,197
It's your time to shine,
200
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:30,730
young man.
201
00:04:30,733 --> 00:04:31,403
>> My time.
202
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,100
Hot diggity-dog.
203
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,630
>> Hot diggity-doo.
204
00:04:33,633 --> 00:04:34,403
>> How's it going?
205
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:35,700
>> It jubbles.
206
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:36,530
>> Every day?
207
00:04:36,533 --> 00:04:38,173
>> It doubles and mubbles, yeah.
208
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:38,967
>> Mumbles, huh?
209
00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:39,697
>> Yeah.
210
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:40,370
>> Well--
211
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,467
>> Do you do a double-double?
212
00:04:41,467 --> 00:04:42,167
>> Well, it's time for
213
00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:43,227
the paw-paws to pop,
214
00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:43,933
the eavesdrop to drop,
215
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:44,703
the katydids to whistle in
216
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:45,300
the old tree top
217
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,170
and the old cow get up
218
00:04:46,167 --> 00:04:46,827
and gently walk away
219
00:04:46,833 --> 00:04:47,773
and Bartledoo here,
220
00:04:47,767 --> 00:04:48,627
I don't know what we're gonna do
221
00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:49,503
with him.
222
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,430
But doodle-doo-doo, whatever he
223
00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:51,633
wants to do, we'll do.
224
00:04:51,633 --> 00:04:52,833
>> Bartledoo.
225
00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:55,770
No pet too small!
226
00:04:55,767 --> 00:04:56,967
Are you tired of having your pet
227
00:04:56,967 --> 00:04:57,967
turned away from veterinarians
228
00:04:57,967 --> 00:04:59,197
because they don't size up?
229
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,070
I'm Dr. Verne
230
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:00,697
and I believe all pets
231
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:01,970
deserve proper medical care,
232
00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,067
no matter how small they are.
233
00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:03,867
Here at our state-of-the-art
234
00:05:03,867 --> 00:05:05,067
animal care facility,
235
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:06,067
we are equipped to treat
236
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,067
the smallest of pets,
237
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,397
because even mealworms
238
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,300
get heartworm.
239
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:10,570
Bring in your grasshopper and
240
00:05:10,567 --> 00:05:11,497
I'll give him the vaccination
241
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:12,170
shots it needs.
242
00:05:12,167 --> 00:05:13,427
Snail with a broken shell?
243
00:05:13,433 --> 00:05:14,203
We can fix that.
244
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,270
I specialize in resetting broken
245
00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:16,227
ant legs.
246
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,373
Treating your pocket-sized pet
247
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:18,127
will cost you just
248
00:05:18,133 --> 00:05:19,173
pocket change.
249
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,167
No pet too small.
250
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:21,367
Somebody get me a defibrillator
251
00:05:21,367 --> 00:05:23,097
and 50 milliliters of adrenal!
252
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,470
Clear!
253
00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:25,827
(paddles zap, cricket chirping)
254
00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,833
**
255
00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:33,067
Dr. Verne here.
256
00:05:33,067 --> 00:05:34,327
Animal lover and veterinarian
257
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:35,273
and today we are
258
00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:36,067
going to be interviewing
259
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:37,227
new assistants.
260
00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:38,533
Let's go save some lives.
261
00:05:42,433 --> 00:05:43,103
>> I don't have any
262
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:43,870
hands-on experience.
263
00:05:43,867 --> 00:05:44,967
>> That's fine, listen...
264
00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:46,227
That's right.
265
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:47,773
Right here, right here.
266
00:05:48,833 --> 00:05:49,833
>> I already like you.
267
00:05:49,833 --> 00:05:50,573
>> You know what I mean?
268
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:51,167
It don't matter.
269
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,467
Hey.
270
00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:53,527
Howdy, howdy, howdy.
271
00:05:53,533 --> 00:05:54,533
Set him up here.
272
00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:55,503
>> Her name is Petunia.
273
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:56,370
We're having a problem with
274
00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:58,097
fleas, a lot of irritation.
275
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,070
>> Fleas?
276
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,467
>> Hi, Petunia.
277
00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,597
>> Petunia, Petunia.
278
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:02,470
>> Petunia, come here.
279
00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:03,167
>> Let me see.
280
00:06:03,167 --> 00:06:04,067
>> Lift Petunia up and swing her
281
00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,067
down here to me.
282
00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:14,297
Yeah, you can smell it.
283
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,670
Yeah, this thing is coated.
284
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,827
You might want to back off hon'.
285
00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:19,773
He's got some eggs all over him.
286
00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:21,367
>> Okay, all right.
287
00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:22,067
>> So what's going on
288
00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:22,697
with Snowball?
289
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:23,370
>> He's been real
290
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:24,367
lethargic lately.
291
00:06:24,367 --> 00:06:25,097
Just not wanting to move
292
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:26,300
around much.
293
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:27,130
>> Turn around and get him out
294
00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:27,733
for me.
295
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:28,873
If you wouldn't mind, just,
296
00:06:28,867 --> 00:06:30,397
could we just get snowball up on
297
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,330
Matthew's shoulders so I--
298
00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:32,573
it might be easier for me to
299
00:06:32,567 --> 00:06:33,697
examine him that way.
300
00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:34,370
How is he doing with
301
00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:35,527
his walking?
302
00:06:35,533 --> 00:06:36,673
>> He don't want to anymore.
303
00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:37,967
>> So you're not walking him?
304
00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:39,127
>> No, not really getting
305
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:39,803
a chance to.
306
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,230
>> That might be the problem.
307
00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:43,303
I think what we need to do
308
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:44,370
is get him fitted with a leash.
309
00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:46,497
>> Okay.
310
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:47,600
>> Yeah.
311
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,470
There we go.
312
00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:49,567
Right over here, guys.
313
00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:50,597
Come over here, Matthew, on this
314
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:51,900
side if you wouldn't mind.
315
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:52,870
Tell the snake to heel,
316
00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:53,697
just like a dog.
317
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:55,170
>> Heel.
318
00:06:55,167 --> 00:06:56,567
Heel.
319
00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:59,097
>> Heel, damn it.
320
00:06:59,100 --> 00:06:59,770
>> Hello, Mike.
321
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:00,497
Come on in.
322
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,170
>> Hi.
323
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:02,297
>> Hi.
324
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:03,830
>> Michael has hip dysplasia.
325
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:04,533
Are you familiar with
326
00:07:04,533 --> 00:07:05,173
hip dysplasia?
327
00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:06,767
>> In a dog, yeah.
328
00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:07,427
>> Right, right.
329
00:07:07,433 --> 00:07:08,273
Well, humans can get it, too.
330
00:07:08,267 --> 00:07:09,267
And you seen them
331
00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:09,967
doggy wheelchairs?
332
00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:11,097
>> Yeah.
333
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,070
>> We designed one for Michael.
334
00:07:13,067 --> 00:07:13,667
We're gonna get you
335
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:14,727
set up today.
336
00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:15,433
>> Thank you.
337
00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:16,333
>> All right.
338
00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:17,233
Kara, that's Michael's
339
00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:18,233
device right there,
340
00:07:18,233 --> 00:07:18,903
the green one.
341
00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:19,730
If you can grab that and bring
342
00:07:19,733 --> 00:07:20,433
that out for us, Kara.
343
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:22,133
Michael, step around the back.
344
00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:23,073
Just get him strapped
345
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,167
in there, please.
346
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:24,827
>> All right.
347
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:25,503
>> Kara.
348
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:26,330
Talk to him like a puppy.
349
00:07:26,333 --> 00:07:27,203
It's--
350
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,300
We've been doing it for years.
351
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,730
Good boy, good boy.
352
00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:31,103
>> Good boy.
353
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,270
>> Try it out.
354
00:07:32,267 --> 00:07:33,597
>> Gosh.
355
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,970
(Michael chuckling)
356
00:07:36,967 --> 00:07:37,727
>> Now there--
357
00:07:37,733 --> 00:07:38,403
That's beauty.
358
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,400
Go ahead up front, Michael.
359
00:07:42,467 --> 00:07:46,367
I gotta let you know, uh...
360
00:07:46,367 --> 00:07:47,097
We're shooting a hidden
361
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,070
camera show.
362
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:49,367
>> Oh, no!
363
00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:51,827
My gosh, I knew it, I knew it!
364
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:54,173
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!
365
00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:55,167
Oh!
366
00:07:57,900 --> 00:07:58,930
(growling)
367
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,097
>> Zombie Drive thru prank.
368
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,100
Let's go.
369
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:08,900
>> Oh, my God.
370
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,100
>> How you doing, boss?
371
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:11,270
(growling)
372
00:08:11,267 --> 00:08:12,097
>> Oh, my God.
373
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,070
>> How you doing?
374
00:08:13,067 --> 00:08:14,097
>> Oh, my God.
375
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:14,800
You scared the (bleep)
376
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:15,430
out of me.
377
00:08:15,433 --> 00:08:16,103
>> Welcome to Mo's.
378
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:16,770
What's up, man?
379
00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:17,867
Thanks, man.
380
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:21,867
Red cup.
381
00:08:21,867 --> 00:08:22,567
What's going on, guys?
382
00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:23,297
Alcohol?
383
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:23,970
>> No.
384
00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:24,697
>> No?
385
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:25,370
Tobacco?
386
00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:26,067
You guys drinking?
387
00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:27,067
>> We're waiting for our ticket.
388
00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:28,167
>> You're waiting for a ticket?
389
00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:28,927
You haven't had any booze?
390
00:08:28,933 --> 00:08:29,573
>> Not really.
391
00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:30,397
>> Do you guys have any booze
392
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:30,900
on you?
393
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:31,570
>> No, sir.
394
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:32,327
>> I'm trying to get some.
395
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:33,073
You don't have any?
396
00:08:33,067 --> 00:08:33,567
>> No.
397
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:34,227
>> Okay.
398
00:08:34,233 --> 00:08:35,073
You guys have any weed on you,
399
00:08:35,067 --> 00:08:36,067
by any chance?
400
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,270
Okay, all right.
401
00:08:41,267 --> 00:08:42,167
Yeah, copy that.
402
00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:43,197
I'm coming down
403
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,570
and I'm coming down hard.
404
00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:45,327
You got your credentials?
405
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:46,303
I'm just checking up.
406
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:47,200
Good, good.
407
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,430
Any problems over here?
408
00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:49,973
No problems?
409
00:08:49,967 --> 00:08:50,627
For the (bleeps)
410
00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:51,573
that want to drink alcohol,
411
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:52,627
I'm giving a breathalyzer to.
412
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,670
Yeah, there you go.
413
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,067
Yeah, I'll take one, actually.
414
00:08:59,067 --> 00:08:59,697
(chuckles)
415
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:02,930
Thanks, buddy.
416
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:03,903
There you go, boss.
417
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,100
All right, thanks.
418
00:09:06,833 --> 00:09:09,833
**
419
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,330
Did you need something?
420
00:09:21,333 --> 00:09:22,373
>> I'm waiting for my wife to
421
00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:23,327
get out of the ladies room.
422
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,473
>> Gotcha.
423
00:09:25,967 --> 00:09:27,767
You guys had any alcohol?
424
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:28,427
>> What's that?
425
00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:29,233
>> Have you had any alcohol
426
00:09:29,233 --> 00:09:30,073
this evening?
427
00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:30,667
All right, well,
428
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:31,397
this is DUI checkpoint.
429
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,270
If you flee the scene I'm going
430
00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:32,827
to have to--
431
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:33,633
>> Okay.
432
00:09:33,633 --> 00:09:34,673
>> You're fleeing the scene?
433
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,267
Okay, great.
434
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:38,527
I got one fleeing the scene.
435
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:39,633
I got one fleeing the scene,
436
00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:40,973
he didn't submit.
437
00:09:40,967 --> 00:09:42,067
You down there?
438
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,327
Hey!
439
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,173
He's waiting for you.
440
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,530
**
441
00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:48,303
>> Hey, guys, Emilio here
442
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:49,800
and today I am interviewing wait
443
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,130
staff for the new restaurant,
444
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:51,933
Wood Peckerz.
445
00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:52,703
Would you just look at it?
446
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:53,630
(laughs)
447
00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:57,797
How are you? Emilio.
448
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:58,470
>> Good.
449
00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,127
>> Nice to meet you.
450
00:09:59,133 --> 00:09:59,803
>> Good, you too.
451
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,830
>> Welcome to Wood Peckerz.
452
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:02,433
We hire out male staff and we
453
00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,673
like to have fun and let loose
454
00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:04,567
here, if you know what I mean.
455
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:05,497
>> Okay.
456
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,500
>> So, think of it as, like,
457
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,670
objectifying men instead women.
458
00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:10,427
You know what I mean?
459
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:11,633
You know, why can't we make some
460
00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:12,403
money out of getting our
461
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,070
asses grabbed?
462
00:10:13,067 --> 00:10:13,897
(laughs) You know what I mean,
463
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:14,400
you know?
464
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,070
>> Right.
465
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:15,897
>> You know, we do our little
466
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,030
routine every 20 minutes.
467
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,003
>> All right.
468
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:18,970
>> Where we just play music like
469
00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:19,797
out of our PA and it's great
470
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:20,470
for tips.
471
00:10:20,467 --> 00:10:21,127
>> Yes, it is.
472
00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:21,873
>> And that all depends
473
00:10:21,867 --> 00:10:23,397
on your performance. (laughs)
474
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,800
>> I love your laugh.
475
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,300
>> Thanks.
476
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,270
Would you mind getting changed
477
00:10:27,267 --> 00:10:28,867
into one of our uniforms?
478
00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:29,667
And then we'll just do some
479
00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:30,467
role playing?
480
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:32,267
>> Okay.
481
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:32,927
>> Look at that.
482
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:33,773
All right!
483
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:35,567
There you go.
484
00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,367
When the music drops, you drop
485
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:38,127
what you are doing and you
486
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:39,003
do your routine.
487
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,370
Every 20 minutes, this is what's
488
00:10:40,367 --> 00:10:41,397
gonna go on.
489
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,400
(dance music playing)
490
00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:46,767
And it's the...
491
00:10:54,967 --> 00:10:55,627
That's the signature
492
00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:57,033
woodpecker move.
493
00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:57,973
Wood Peckerz.
494
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,330
You nailed it! (laughs)
495
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,073
We need to let
496
00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:12,067
you know something.
497
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:13,067
>> Yeah, this is some kind
498
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:14,067
of joke.
499
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,067
>> Yeah, yeah.
500
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,727
(laughter)
501
00:11:19,767 --> 00:11:20,897
>> And you were awesome.
502
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:24,670
Welcome to Nashville.
503
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:25,667
Let's go scare some people,
504
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:26,567
come on.
505
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:28,927
**
506
00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:30,873
(grunting)
507
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,500
(Ed barks)
508
00:11:44,433 --> 00:11:45,103
>> Oh (bleep)!
509
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,870
>> I...
510
00:11:47,867 --> 00:11:49,367
I am!
511
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:50,297
Sorry about that.
512
00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:51,200
I didn't want him to pee on--
513
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,070
I didn't want him to pee on me,
514
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:53,167
that's all.
515
00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:56,167
(dog and Ed barking)
516
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:57,567
I'm a bush, buddy.
517
00:11:57,567 --> 00:11:59,367
(bleeps)
518
00:12:01,733 --> 00:12:03,073
(startled shout, laughter)
519
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,933
I got him! (laughing)
520
00:12:06,933 --> 00:12:08,933
I got your brother!
521
00:12:08,933 --> 00:12:12,633
(Ed barking)
522
00:12:12,633 --> 00:12:13,303
It's me, I'm a bush.
523
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,570
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey!
524
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,467
I don't want no trouble,
525
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:16,497
I don't want no trouble.
526
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,630
(chatter)
527
00:12:18,633 --> 00:12:19,433
(sneezes)
528
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,073
(women screaming)
529
00:12:26,933 --> 00:12:28,803
Yo, this is Ronny!
530
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,470
I'm going to do
531
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:30,667
some landscaping.
532
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,667
Come on, over to the golf course
533
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,227
with me, y'all.
534
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,530
(leaf blower blowing)
535
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:44,867
Just so you guys can see
536
00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:45,867
the ball, you know what I mean?
537
00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:51,397
I'll help you.
538
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,200
Team effort.
539
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,130
Team effort, right?
540
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,503
>> There you go.
541
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,370
>> You guys have a good one.
542
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:56,967
All right.
543
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:04,297
There you go-- Oh!
544
00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:15,703
Yeah!
545
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:16,530
Yeah!
546
00:13:16,533 --> 00:13:17,673
Yeah, you see that?
547
00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:18,697
>> Got a birdie.
548
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,830
(distant laughter)
549
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,103
>> Can you take off the shades?
550
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,470
>> Yeah, what's up?
551
00:13:24,467 --> 00:13:25,467
>> You're Ed Bassmaster,
552
00:13:25,467 --> 00:13:26,127
aren't you?
553
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:27,333
Holy (bleep).
554
00:13:27,333 --> 00:13:28,203
All right, wait-wait.
555
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,230
Mm.
556
00:13:30,233 --> 00:13:30,933
I'm your biggest fan.
557
00:13:30,933 --> 00:13:31,573
>> Yeah?
558
00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:32,227
All right, dog.
559
00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:33,073
>> That's my hero.
560
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:33,967
>> Hey.
561
00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:34,627
Yo, this your boy
562
00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:36,073
always Teste.
563
00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:37,267
And today I just a got a new job
564
00:13:37,267 --> 00:13:38,567
riding one of those jones called
565
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,197
a Pedicab.
566
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,270
I'm gonna be picking people up
567
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,667
and take 'em to my pawn shop,
568
00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:45,097
so let's go.
569
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,930
I was born to ride.
570
00:13:46,933 --> 00:13:47,673
Hold on, 'cause y'all in
571
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:48,667
for a ride. (laughs)
572
00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:52,433
All right, here we go,
573
00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:54,333
here we go.
574
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,103
>> How long have you been
575
00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:55,870
in Nashville?
576
00:13:55,867 --> 00:13:56,867
>> About eight days.
577
00:13:56,867 --> 00:13:57,667
>> Eight days?
578
00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:59,797
>> Yeah, I just moved out here.
579
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:00,900
Now I'm just chilling, man.
580
00:14:00,900 --> 00:14:01,930
I take my time.
581
00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:02,773
(police sirens wailing)
582
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:03,867
Watch out for them cops.
583
00:14:03,867 --> 00:14:05,067
Where'd they go?
584
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,067
Yeah, so I do a side job--
585
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:06,727
I do--
586
00:14:06,733 --> 00:14:08,103
I got a pawn shop on the side.
587
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:08,900
>> A pawn shop?
588
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:09,900
>> Yeah.
589
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:10,670
That's why I get a little
590
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:11,827
nervous when I see them lights.
591
00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:13,073
(laughs)
592
00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:13,927
When customers leave stuff
593
00:14:13,933 --> 00:14:15,273
behind, I just put it in
594
00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:16,097
that bag.
595
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,230
Can you grab that?
596
00:14:17,233 --> 00:14:17,903
Yeah, check it out.
597
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,970
>> Nah, that's all right.
598
00:14:18,967 --> 00:14:19,897
>> Hand me that bag, dog.
599
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:20,570
Please.
600
00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:21,227
>> I ain't touching
601
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:21,903
that bag, man.
602
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:22,570
>> You ain't--
603
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:23,627
You scared of the bag?
604
00:14:23,633 --> 00:14:24,373
>> Hell yeah, I'm scared
605
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:26,227
of the bag. (laughing)
606
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,473
>> Dude left a pair of Raybans
607
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:28,527
on here.
608
00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,933
This I know ain't real, but it
609
00:14:30,933 --> 00:14:32,073
still look tight.
610
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,327
I like that.
611
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:34,403
>> Let's bounce.
612
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,170
>> Yo, my man, you want to
613
00:14:35,167 --> 00:14:35,727
get anything?
614
00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:36,403
>> No, I'm good.
615
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,070
>> You sure?
616
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:38,627
>> Yeah, I'm good.
617
00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:39,603
>> Ring for your girl?
618
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,370
>> Nope, good.
619
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:41,067
Ready? Ready?
620
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:41,697
>> Yeah.
621
00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:42,430
>> All right, let's go.
622
00:14:42,433 --> 00:14:43,073
>> Y'all gotta go?
623
00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:43,797
>> Yep, we're out.
624
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:44,470
>> Oh.
625
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,197
You sure you don't want
626
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:45,800
a ride back?
627
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,070
>> We're sure.
628
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:47,897
>> You don't want to partner up
629
00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:49,130
and see if we can get rid of
630
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:51,073
this stuff?
631
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:52,197
Will you at least--
632
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,270
Will you at least sign to be in
633
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,967
"The Ed Bassmaster Show"?
634
00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:55,827
Yo, what's up man?
635
00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:58,303
>> I knew it, I knew it.
636
00:14:58,300 --> 00:14:59,170
>> You guys can get a ride back.
637
00:14:59,167 --> 00:14:59,797
None of this stuff
638
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,470
is stolen, dude.
639
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:01,167
It's for my new show.
640
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:01,767
>> Yeah, I know.
641
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:02,627
I figured, I figured, I figured,
642
00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:03,203
I figured.
643
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:03,870
>> Yeah.
644
00:15:03,867 --> 00:15:05,067
>> Just in case though.
645
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:05,667
>> I know, you--
646
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:06,327
>> Just in case.
647
00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:07,173
>> It started getting a little
648
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,067
sketchy, he's like, let's go,
649
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:08,897
we're out of here.
650
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:14,167
Whoa, whoa, whoa, partner.
651
00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:15,297
(mumbling incoherently)
652
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:16,400
>> What's that?
653
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,970
(Ed mumbling incoherently)
654
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:19,227
>> Hey.
655
00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:20,073
Crab on stink?
656
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,167
Bartledoo.
657
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:21,967
>> What?
658
00:15:21,967 --> 00:15:22,627
>> Bartledoo.
659
00:15:22,633 --> 00:15:25,103
(mumbling incoherently)
660
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:27,970
Right here.
661
00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,067
Come on over.
662
00:15:29,067 --> 00:15:30,967
(mumbling incoherently)
663
00:15:30,967 --> 00:15:31,627
(laughing)
664
00:15:31,633 --> 00:15:32,773
No, I got to write you
665
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:34,397
a citation.
666
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,900
That shirt is too bright.
667
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:37,070
Make me fly off my horse.
668
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,267
Hey!
669
00:15:39,267 --> 00:15:40,267
Slow down.
670
00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:43,627
(mumbling incoherently)
671
00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:44,603
>> Yeah.
672
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,570
>> (mumbling incoherently)
673
00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:47,427
Flip flops?
674
00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:49,673
You could hurt your toes.
675
00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:50,427
>> Um, it depends the way
676
00:15:50,433 --> 00:15:51,533
you run.
677
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:53,373
(mumbling incoherently)
678
00:15:53,367 --> 00:15:54,667
How many?
679
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:55,397
>> How many lace up over
680
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:56,670
your toes?
681
00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:58,827
(horse whinnying)
682
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,203
Not you, I'm talking to him.
683
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,530
And I'ma write you up
684
00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:04,073
for $5,000.
685
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:05,930
Yeah.
686
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:06,973
Yeah, that's a bright shirt,
687
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:07,627
I gotta do it.
688
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,773
That's right, who's in charge
689
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:09,697
here now, poop?
690
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:10,370
Give me the scoop.
691
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:11,367
Oh, wait, can you pull my--
692
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:13,067
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
693
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,067
Get--
694
00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:14,797
Go ahead, go.
695
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:15,800
Hyah!
696
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,070
(mumbling incoherently)
697
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,103
Bret Sellars here, folks.
698
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:28,070
Okay, so we are live here in
699
00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:29,497
the park, folks.
700
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,070
There is, believe it or not,
701
00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:33,397
a sick individual going around
702
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,070
farting on dogs, yeah.
703
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:39,500
There's a guy going around
704
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:40,530
apparently farting on dogs.
705
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,133
The problem is that the three
706
00:16:42,133 --> 00:16:43,573
victims and their dogs have
707
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:44,927
since left the park.
708
00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:45,933
I can't go back to the news room
709
00:16:45,933 --> 00:16:46,603
without a story.
710
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,530
So if maybe if you could,
711
00:16:48,533 --> 00:16:51,073
I don't know, sort of say, like,
712
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,197
you witnessed the attack
713
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,430
of this man.
714
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,200
Brett Sellars here, we're on the
715
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,330
scene with Tony who, in fact,
716
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,533
just witnessed the farting on
717
00:16:57,533 --> 00:16:58,433
dogs incident.
718
00:16:58,433 --> 00:16:59,173
Tony, how are you today?
719
00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:00,127
>> I'm doing great, thanks.
720
00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:02,073
Okay, thanks for giving us your
721
00:17:02,067 --> 00:17:02,967
account on the story,
722
00:17:02,967 --> 00:17:03,727
if you could.
723
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:04,403
>> Yeah, certainly.
724
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,600
I was out here walking a couple
725
00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,900
of my dogs and there was this
726
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:08,200
dude over here, he was bald,
727
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,470
tattoos, big brolic guy,
728
00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:10,367
and I'm like--
729
00:17:10,367 --> 00:17:11,297
I just noticed he was getting
730
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,070
a little too friendly
731
00:17:12,067 --> 00:17:12,827
with the dogs, he was petting,
732
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:13,703
but then he turned around
733
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,400
and squats,
734
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,930
I'm like, I s he taking a deuce
735
00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:16,603
or something?
736
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,430
This guy was actually farting
737
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:18,103
on dogs.
738
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,170
I'm like, what are you doing?
739
00:17:20,167 --> 00:17:20,967
I go over to him, I ask him.
740
00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:22,627
I'm like, uh, dude,
741
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:23,803
what's going on here?
742
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:24,670
He's like, oh, the dog just
743
00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:25,527
wanted to sniff my butt.
744
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:26,303
It's like, that--
745
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,130
That's not what people do with
746
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:27,833
dogs and stuff.
747
00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:28,703
I'm like, you know, it's a dog.
748
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:29,670
Dogs sniff each other's butts.
749
00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:31,097
That's gross.
750
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:31,830
>> So you were pretty--
751
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:32,503
Yeah.
752
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,300
>> He didn't think there was
753
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,130
anything wrong with it at all.
754
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:34,773
He thought it was
755
00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:36,327
perfectly fine.
756
00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:38,073
It's ridiculous, quite frankly.
757
00:17:38,067 --> 00:17:40,497
>> Preposterous.
758
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,330
Was there a smell?
759
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:43,173
>> There was quite a bit of an
760
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:43,697
odor to it.
761
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:44,470
I mean, I was kind of
762
00:17:44,467 --> 00:17:45,567
sickened myself.
763
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:46,497
The dogs didn't seem to mind too
764
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:47,670
much, but you know.
765
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:48,627
>> Is there anything else you
766
00:17:48,633 --> 00:17:51,073
would like to add to the story?
767
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:51,927
>> Just watch out for guys
768
00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:52,733
farting on your dogs.
769
00:17:52,733 --> 00:17:53,403
It's not cool.
770
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,770
(steam hissing)
771
00:18:06,133 --> 00:18:09,373
(lips smacking)
772
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:27,803
>> Hi.
773
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:28,470
Hey, guys.
774
00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:29,327
Bushman here.
775
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:30,703
Say hi, guys.
776
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:31,970
(chuckles)
777
00:18:31,967 --> 00:18:32,927
Hey.
778
00:18:32,933 --> 00:18:33,603
Hey, don't do that.
779
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:34,270
Go sit down.
780
00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:37,797
How you doing, boss?
781
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:38,470
>> It's the bushman.
782
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:39,497
>> Hey, man, question for you.
783
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:40,370
What's the best fertilizer
784
00:18:40,367 --> 00:18:41,227
you guys got?
785
00:18:41,233 --> 00:18:42,233
Like, as you can see
786
00:18:42,233 --> 00:18:43,273
I'm a little underweight here.
787
00:18:49,267 --> 00:18:50,627
Ahh.
788
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,470
Stay hydrated, my friends.
789
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:55,127
Hello.
790
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:55,873
>> Oh!
791
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:56,867
>> How are you?
792
00:18:56,867 --> 00:18:57,897
>> Oh, my God.
793
00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:58,570
>> I'm right here.
794
00:18:58,567 --> 00:18:59,567
I'm a bush.
795
00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:00,367
>> Scared the crap out--
796
00:19:00,367 --> 00:19:02,697
>> Oh, sorry about that.
797
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:03,370
Hey.
798
00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:04,267
Guess what kind of bush I am?
799
00:19:04,267 --> 00:19:06,367
>> A... ficus.
800
00:19:06,367 --> 00:19:07,067
>> Good.
801
00:19:07,067 --> 00:19:07,697
Good call.
802
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:08,370
High five.
803
00:19:08,367 --> 00:19:09,067
All right, dude.
804
00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:09,967
Have a good one.
805
00:19:09,967 --> 00:19:10,927
(cell phone ringing)
806
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:12,933
Hey.
807
00:19:12,933 --> 00:19:15,373
Nothing, I'm at work.
808
00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,497
No, I'm going home, dude.
809
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,200
I'm bushed.
810
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,070
All right, bud.
811
00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:20,967
Later.
812
00:19:20,967 --> 00:19:24,067
**
813
00:19:32,633 --> 00:19:33,773
>> Reporting a story
814
00:19:33,767 --> 00:19:36,127
in the park.
815
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,233
Uh, on a man whose dog had
816
00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:40,073
apparently been farted upon
817
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:41,667
by a sick, twisted individual
818
00:19:41,667 --> 00:19:42,667
who was roaming around the park,
819
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:44,697
farting on dogs, believe it
820
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:45,600
or not.
821
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,900
And the story got me worked up
822
00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:48,170
and emotional to a point where
823
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:49,227
I actually had diarrhea
824
00:19:49,233 --> 00:19:50,503
in my pants while
825
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,270
recording--reporting live.
826
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:53,167
Very embarrassing.
827
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:54,097
I was in the middle of the park.
828
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,430
I was wearing my--
829
00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:56,733
You know, my light khakis.
830
00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:57,433
That was a pretty good
831
00:19:57,433 --> 00:19:58,403
story, right?
832
00:19:58,453 --> 00:20:03,003
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
49369
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof