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>> Hey, guys.
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I'm Ed Bassmaster and you may
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have seen me on YouTube.
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The looney wheels.
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And that is me.
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>> What are you talking about?
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>> I'm a bush!
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That's me, too.
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The crawfish here is amazing.
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>> Yeah.
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>> I just ordered it.
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When I see a car like this,
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thing I do is I say,
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"Would you look at this?"
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Yeah, all of those guys are me.
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>> Ed Bassmaster.
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>> You're my favorite!
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>> I have almost a billion views
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on the internet and now I'm
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going to take what I do
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to television.
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>> Shut up!
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>> This is
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"The Ed Bassmaster Show."
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*
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My name is Keith,
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the sign spinner.
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I'm out here at
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Shurbrite Car Wash.
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Jim's my new boss that's gonna
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try to hire somebody to fire me,
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but it's not gonna work.
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>> Jacob?
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Hey, come on in.
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>> Hey.
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>> Dustin?
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Hey.
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Nice to meet you.
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You're interested in possibly
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training to be
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an assistant manager?
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Is that correct?
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>> Yes, sir.
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>> We have a huge sale going on.
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I don't know if you noticed
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the guy out front.
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>> I did.
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>> We've had a little difficulty
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with him.
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He thinks he's an artist.
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This is not performance art.
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This is not a dance recital.
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>> This is a job.
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>> This is a job, exactly.
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We have a certain procedure
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that's been set up.
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I need you to help convince him
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to do what he needs to do,
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'cause it's our car wash,
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it's important.
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It's very simple.
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It's just three turns
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to the left,
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three to the right.
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You see what he is doing?
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He's not doing that, all right?
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I don't want to let him go.
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>> Okay.
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>> Okay?
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But if he doesn't do what he
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does need to do, I'm gonna have
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to let him go.
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>> Okay.
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>> Hey, man.
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I actually just got hired out
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here and Jim was just telling me
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to stick with the...
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>> Have you learned the routine?
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>> Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Check it out, check it out.
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>> Okay, can you show me?
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>> Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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>> One, two, three.
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I'm supposed to stay
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with protocol,
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but my thing is, like,
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I got my own thing going.
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I put a little twist on it,
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so check it out.
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That is so lame.
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>> I know, and then they want us
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to do a really big lunge.
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>> Yeah, I know, lunge.
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>> Like, a lunge, yeah.
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>> Oh, yeah, that's exciting.
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All right, I'll do it.
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>> Thank you so much.
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>> Three to the left.
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One, two, three.
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>> Yes.
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>> Three to the right,
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through three.
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>> Good.
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>> Big lunge.
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Then kick it yo, dog,
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check it out, yo!
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Uhh!
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Check it out, check it out,
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yo, uhh!
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Yeah!
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I got 389 moves and this guy
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wants me to show two of them.
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You got--
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Come on, admit it.
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It's lame, right?
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>> It's a little lame.
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>> Okay, it just don't make
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no sense.
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>> Okay, okay, I will
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communicate that.
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>> Thank you, thank you.
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>> What did he say?
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>> Turn down for what?
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>> Tell you what.
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We have one of those
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windsock guys.
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You know what I'm talking about?
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Take it out there, all right?
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Let's see if that gets
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his attention.
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>> Coming off like that!
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What is that?
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>> That's one of those
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wacky, waving...
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>> You trying to replace me?
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Yo!
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What's up, dog?
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What you got?
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What you got?
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Wanna dance?
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>> I need you to use the sign...
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>> Sure.
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>> ... and go through the
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routine that we said.
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>> Right.
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>> All right.
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>> Three to the left.
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>> Right.
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Three to the right.
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>> Three to the right.
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Back up off me!
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>> I'm right here.
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Just tell him that we're gonna
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have to let him go.
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>> Okay.
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We're going to have to let you
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go, okay?
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>> (rapping) Let it go, dog!
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Let it go!
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>> No, that--
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>> Let it go, dog!
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>> No, that's not what I mean.
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>> Let it go!
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>> I mean, we gotta get rid
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of you.
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>> Let it go, dog! Let it go!
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>> Do you understand that that
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means that we--
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We no longer going to have you
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working for today,
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working this position.
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>> Who said that?
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>> I'm communicating to
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you that--
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>> Nothing against you, hon'.
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You're a really nice gal,
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but you could tell him that
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I ain't interested in
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the bull (bleep).
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Tell him.
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>> I'm sorry, we need you to
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leave, though.
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>> Okay.
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Can I bring my crew?
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>> What is this?
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Shut up!
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>> I'm sorry but I'm not sorry.
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>> I am going to kill you.
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>> Brett Sellars here.
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We're live at the park were
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apparently there is a sandwich
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thief on the loose.
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We're going to try to find out
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if anybody had witnessed these
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sandwich thieveries.
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Were you here when it happened,
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or...?
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>> No.
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>> Oh, could you still go along
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with it? I need to get a story
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either way.
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>> Absolutely. Okay.
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>> Could you make it sound like
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you really were a victim?
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>> I'll do my best.
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>> Thank you.
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All right, can we roll?
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Okay, folks.
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Brett Sellars here back on
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the scene with Scott.
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Scott, tell us what happened?
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>> I was sitting there eating
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my quinoa goat cheese vegetable
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sandwich and I took a bite,
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some of the quinoa
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dripped down and a man
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came over and said,
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I'll clean that up for you,
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and as I looked down,
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the other person
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behind them just took my
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sandwich and I--
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Before I knew that I was
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a victim of crime, it was all
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done, it was all gone.
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>> There you have it.
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I hope things work out better
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for you in your next picnic.
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Best of luck, thank you.
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Back to you.
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Yo, what's up?
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This is Ronny and I just got
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a real important job over at
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the bowling alley working
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in the snack bar.
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So I'm going to hop in
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the shower and wash my hair up
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for you ladies.
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Come on out and say hello.
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>> What's up, partner?
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>> Can I get a...
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>> And some nachos?
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>> Yes, sir.
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>> All righty.
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All right,
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and I'll be right with you with
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your nachos, boss.
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All right.
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There you go.
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Oh, hold on.
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Wait a second, let go.
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>> Oh.
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>> What the heck?
254
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Something...
255
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Hold up.
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The heck is that?
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Are you kidding me?
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That's a hair.
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Oh, no.
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No, no.
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No, that's gross man.
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All right,
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you're all good, champ.
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Let me get your Gatorade.
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>> Um...
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I think I'm good on the nachos.
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>> You don't want the nachos?
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>> Nah, I think I'm good
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on those.
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>> Nah, it's good,
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I took it out.
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>> Mm-mmm.
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>> Yeah, I pulled it out.
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They're fine, they're good.
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You don't want them?
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Look I'll try one.
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They're probably good,
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it's just a hair.
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(chip crunching)
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I have long hair.
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(customer laughs)
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They're good.
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>> Yeah.
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>> A little hair won't hurt you.
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>> No problem.
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Thank you.
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>> Extra protein, right?
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Okay.
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Hey, guys.
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Merry Christmas!
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Ho Ho...
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(farting)
293
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:28,200
Whoa.
294
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:28,870
(farting)
295
00:06:28,867 --> 00:06:30,967
>> Oh, excuse me.
296
00:06:30,967 --> 00:06:34,067
You like that one, hon'?
297
00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:41,567
(farting)
298
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:50,127
(farting, relieved sigh)
299
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:53,273
(farting)
300
00:06:53,267 --> 00:07:01,397
(farting)
301
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:06,630
(farting)
302
00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:07,473
Excuse me, bud, can you hold
303
00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:08,197
these for one second?
304
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,170
I just got to grab something.
305
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:13,167
Thanks.
306
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:16,297
I'm Skippy.
307
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,900
Just one sec, I'm sorry.
308
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:21,330
I can't do it at the same time.
309
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,703
>> All right, man.
310
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,570
>> Hi, Grandma, it's Skippy.
311
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,467
Can you hear me?
312
00:07:27,467 --> 00:07:28,297
Huh?
313
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,530
Grandma.
314
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,203
Let me move to get some
315
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,830
reception, I can't hear you.
316
00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,903
Can you hear me?
317
00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,070
How about now can you hear me
318
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:36,797
or no?
319
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,070
Hello, Grandma?
320
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:41,367
Because it will shrink.
321
00:07:41,367 --> 00:07:42,067
I know.
322
00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:43,197
That's why.
323
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,330
You know, she's been--
324
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,833
She's been trying to lose weight
325
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,233
for 12 months now.
326
00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:49,073
No, he didn't sell me that.
327
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,097
I knew he was trying to sell it,
328
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,670
but, he's got to put it
329
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,827
on Craigslist.
330
00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:54,503
He's got to put it on
331
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,700
the Internet.
332
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,070
If he puts it on the Internet,
333
00:07:58,067 --> 00:08:00,227
he'll be able to sell it.
334
00:08:00,233 --> 00:08:01,133
Hold on, one sec, one sec.
335
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:02,133
>> I gotta go.
336
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:02,803
>> You got to go?
337
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:03,470
>> Yeah, I gotta go.
338
00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:04,197
>> Okay, Grandma, listen,
339
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:04,870
Grandma.
340
00:08:04,867 --> 00:08:07,297
Uh, I have to let you go.
341
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:11,730
Okay.
342
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:12,673
Okay.
343
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,467
Right, right.
344
00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:17,327
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
345
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:21,103
Okay.
346
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:21,900
Oh, okay.
347
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,070
I'm just in the park.
348
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,297
My balloons.
349
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:25,370
Thanks, buddy!
350
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,833
(bleep)
351
00:08:31,867 --> 00:08:32,497
How you doing, bud?
352
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:33,600
I'm bushman.
353
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,400
(both laughing)
354
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,400
I got you, pal.
355
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:45,870
*
356
00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:46,897
Would you look at that?
357
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,230
I got a new selfie stick.
358
00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:53,573
Just look at it.
359
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,227
Oh, would you just look
360
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,073
at it this?
361
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:55,767
We are getting a trio.
362
00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:56,927
>> Hi.
363
00:08:56,933 --> 00:08:57,633
>> Hi.
364
00:08:57,633 --> 00:08:58,933
>> Oh, look at this I'm getting
365
00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:00,203
my caricature done.
366
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,070
Look, ladies.
367
00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:02,967
Aren't I gorgeous?
368
00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:03,667
Oh, would you look at that.
369
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:04,467
CIA?
370
00:09:04,467 --> 00:09:05,127
>> No.
371
00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:05,803
>> FBI?
372
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,470
>> No, no, no.
373
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:07,127
>> You're not
374
00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,333
from the intelligence agency?
375
00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:09,203
>> No.
376
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:09,870
Indonesia.
377
00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:10,767
>> Indonesia. Okay, oh,
378
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:11,427
would you look at that?
379
00:09:11,433 --> 00:09:12,203
I would love to go there one day
380
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,070
and look at it. Yeah.
381
00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:14,697
(laughter)
382
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:15,900
Can I look at yet?
383
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:16,800
I just want to look at it.
384
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,300
I can't look at it yet?
385
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,270
>> Two minutes.
386
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,067
>> Okay, two minutes,
387
00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,067
two minutes.
388
00:09:21,067 --> 00:09:22,067
Look at this.
389
00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:22,667
Oh, look at that.
390
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:23,397
Look at that, behind the back,
391
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,070
look at that.
392
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:24,727
Oh, look at that.
393
00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:25,403
Look--
394
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,970
Oh.
395
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,097
Oh, my--
396
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:28,770
Around and around,
397
00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:29,427
did you see that?
398
00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:30,103
That was great.
399
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:33,500
Would you look at this?
400
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,170
Welcome to
401
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:35,527
Single&Ready2Mingle,
402
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,973
a video dating service.
403
00:09:38,967 --> 00:09:39,627
Hello, my name
404
00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:40,673
is Girard Douché
405
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:41,767
and I was put on this planet
406
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:43,067
for the women,
407
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:45,927
so please help yourself.
408
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,833
I drive a two-seated sports car.
409
00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:49,903
One seat for me, one for you.
410
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,500
If you have a beautiful friend,
411
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,200
we have plenty of trunk.
412
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,200
I'm looking for a girl like take
413
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,800
care of me like Mama Sugar.
414
00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,430
I like to draw picture.
415
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,073
I can draw picture of you in
416
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,597
the nude, if you like.
417
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:13,070
I can dance for you.
418
00:10:13,067 --> 00:10:13,797
Today I have hired
419
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:14,800
someone to supervise a mover
420
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,270
while he packs up my stuff.
421
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,897
What this unsuspecting person
422
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:18,870
don't know
423
00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:19,767
is the mover they are about to
424
00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,527
deal with is a little on edge.
425
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,403
What's up, man?
426
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,070
>> How are you, man?
427
00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:23,727
>> Zack?
428
00:10:23,733 --> 00:10:24,403
>> Yep.
429
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,070
>> Ed. Nice to meet you,
430
00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:25,727
come on in.
431
00:10:25,733 --> 00:10:26,403
Just shut that behind you,
432
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,900
if you don't mind.
433
00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:28,670
I'm actually going to take
434
00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:29,527
off and he should be here in
435
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:30,273
like five, ten minutes.
436
00:10:30,267 --> 00:10:30,927
>> Okay.
437
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:31,733
>> Just-- I just want him to be
438
00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:32,473
careful with everything too,
439
00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:33,197
that's another thing.
440
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:33,870
Kind of like--
441
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:34,667
I don't want him coming in like
442
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:35,367
a bulldozer, you know?
443
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:43,367
All right, dude.
444
00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:48,097
(doorbell rings)
445
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:48,900
I'm going to set up my coffee
446
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:49,700
station up here
447
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:50,600
if you don't mind.
448
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,300
>> Do whatever you gotta do.
449
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:51,970
>> 'Cause I drink a lot of
450
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:52,597
coffee, so.
451
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,130
Actually, this is my second.
452
00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:54,833
>> More power to you, then.
453
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:55,473
>> Yeah.
454
00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:56,127
What's your name again?
455
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:56,803
>> Zack.
456
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:57,470
>> Zack.
457
00:10:57,467 --> 00:10:58,127
>> What's your name again?
458
00:10:58,133 --> 00:10:58,803
>> Just call me Shakey.
459
00:10:58,800 --> 00:10:59,470
>> Shakey.
460
00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:00,197
>> This one, I'll start
461
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,130
loading up.
462
00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:03,073
Uh...
463
00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:09,067
(packing tape stretching)
464
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:09,727
>> It's hard to do this
465
00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:10,533
one hand.
466
00:11:10,533 --> 00:11:11,333
>> Oh, yeah, totally.
467
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:12,333
>> One man down.
468
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,073
>> Why don't you put down
469
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:14,067
the coffee for one second?
470
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:15,167
>> I--
471
00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:17,667
When I have to have my su--
472
00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:18,527
It's like an insulin shot.
473
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:20,203
When I have to be--
474
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,800
All right, I can put it down,
475
00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,770
if it makes you happy.
476
00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:24,697
>> Yeah. No, I mean, whatever.
477
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,130
>> Ah... there.
478
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:27,073
Let me wrap these glasses
479
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:32,697
and get these out of the way.
480
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,130
Scoop the rest up.
481
00:11:34,133 --> 00:11:36,473
>> I got it, I got it.
482
00:11:36,467 --> 00:11:37,127
>> We gotta wrap it--
483
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:38,173
>> Oh.
484
00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:39,367
My bad, sorry.
485
00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,267
>> Dude, come on.
486
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,067
(glass shatters)
487
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,067
>> Mm, ah... I'm sorry.
488
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:43,697
>> All right, let's put
489
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:44,370
the coffee down.
490
00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:45,227
>> I apologize, I apologize.
491
00:11:45,233 --> 00:11:46,273
>> Put the coffee down.
492
00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:47,897
>> Slow down, Greg, slow down.
493
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:48,630
(laughing)
494
00:11:48,633 --> 00:11:49,333
You know what I mean?
495
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,173
>> That's what coffee will do.
496
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:50,827
>> Oh, hide--
497
00:11:50,833 --> 00:11:51,803
Hide that glass bag so
498
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,830
Ed doesn't see it.
499
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:53,603
>> What's that?
500
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,130
>> Oh, nothing.
501
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,273
I got to take a break.
502
00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:58,227
Oh!
503
00:11:58,267 --> 00:11:59,627
I put my thumb right through it.
504
00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:02,273
I put my thumb right through it.
505
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,100
Just leave it in the couch.
506
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,370
>> Nope.
507
00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:05,167
I'm pretty sure he wants you to
508
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:06,067
be done by the time--
509
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:07,697
>> Oh!
510
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,370
Oh, crap.
511
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,067
Oh, crap, oh, crap.
512
00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:11,867
>> Okay, now we got to tell
513
00:12:11,867 --> 00:12:12,897
him something.
514
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:13,700
>> I'll get glue, I got glue in
515
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,270
my truck.
516
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:14,927
>> Glue?
517
00:12:14,933 --> 00:12:15,973
No, I don't think glue is gonna
518
00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:18,067
fix this.
519
00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:20,827
>> Hey, I fixed the couch!
520
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:21,503
>> Come on, man!
521
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,470
What are you doing?
522
00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:24,767
>> It's back to normal!
523
00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,797
Problem solved.
524
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,070
Pillow upside down, duh.
525
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:28,667
The oldest trick
526
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:29,667
in the book dude.
527
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:31,067
We don't mention that.
528
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,067
If he smells it a week later,
529
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:32,727
so what?
530
00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:34,373
We're gone.
531
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,267
We're setting sail.
532
00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:37,097
Woo.
533
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:37,930
I wasn't gonna tell you,
534
00:12:37,933 --> 00:12:38,733
'cause I don't want to get into
535
00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:40,733
trouble, but whoopsie.
536
00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:41,533
I'm probably gonna get in
537
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:42,533
trouble for this one.
538
00:12:42,533 --> 00:12:43,633
No doubt.
539
00:12:43,633 --> 00:12:44,773
You're going to get mad at me.
540
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:45,827
Come here.
541
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,103
Are you pranking me?
542
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,470
Are you pranking him?
543
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:52,127
Are you pranking him?
544
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:55,233
Are you're being pranked?
545
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:59,303
Zack!
546
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,100
Skippy here,
547
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,070
and today I'm making sure
548
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,667
everybody knows how delicious
549
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:07,127
cheese balls are.
550
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:07,903
>> Hi.
551
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:08,770
>> Hi. How are you?
552
00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:09,827
>> I'm good.
553
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:10,633
>> You're a mess.
554
00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:11,303
>> Yeah, I can't stop
555
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:11,970
eating them,
556
00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:14,097
that's the problem.
557
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:14,770
Cheese ball, ma'am?
558
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:15,427
>> No.
559
00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:16,233
>> Ma'am, if you're looking for
560
00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:17,833
cheese balls, they're up here.
561
00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:18,633
Cheese balls, ma'am?
562
00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:19,573
Have some cheese balls while
563
00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:20,297
you're waiting.
564
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,370
Cheese balls are awesome.
565
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,127
No charge.
566
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:22,903
That's my man.
567
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:23,730
>> You've got cheese
568
00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:24,873
all over you.
569
00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:25,667
>> Oh, that's the cheese balls.
570
00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:26,327
These are good, try one.
571
00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:27,073
Ready?
572
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,097
One, two three.
573
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:28,930
Yeah!
574
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,103
First try.
575
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,670
Potato skins.
576
00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:32,767
Oh, they're okay.
577
00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:34,397
Cheese balls are better.
578
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,070
You can eat those
579
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:36,197
on the way home.
580
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,670
Cheese ball?
581
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:41,867
>> I'm good on the balls.
582
00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:42,697
Cheese balls.
583
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:44,170
>> Can I scan it for you?
584
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,697
>> Yes.
585
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,870
>> It's $2.29.
586
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,297
>> That's $2.35.
587
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:49,130
>> Okay, thanks.
588
00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:50,673
Have a good day, sir.
589
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:52,697
I can't open the register.
590
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:54,200
Stucky!
591
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:54,970
I thought you was somebody else,
592
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,067
my bad.
593
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:56,897
Oh, don't leave me hanging.
594
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:57,800
Oh, fist bump, fist bump.
595
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,300
Don't leave me hanging.
596
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,800
Psh. Up high.
597
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,700
Down low elbow.
598
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:04,370
Elbow grease,
599
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:05,297
a little underneath.
600
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:06,530
Underneath the hood, up high.
601
00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,073
Baked potato, baked potato.
602
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,367
Large fries.
603
00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:10,597
Down low twinkle toes.
604
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,730
All right.
605
00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:13,133
Baked potato, baked potato.
606
00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:14,303
Hot potato, large fries.
607
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,570
Oh, what up?
608
00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:16,267
Elbow.
609
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,067
Elbow.
610
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,067
Elbow, elbow.
611
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,167
Plow, plow.
612
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:20,497
Psh. (laughs)
613
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:21,600
Come on up.
614
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,770
Hit it high.
615
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:23,797
Chest pump.
616
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:24,470
What's up?
617
00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:25,127
>> Chest bump?
618
00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:25,933
>> All right, good dog.
619
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:29,503
Good looking out, dog.
620
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:30,400
Welcome to the New Orleans
621
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,370
cooking experience, I'm Emilio.
622
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:33,467
And today we're going to be
623
00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:34,267
making some of my
624
00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:36,397
signature dishes.
625
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:40,370
Let's get this party started.
626
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:41,197
>> What's you experience in
627
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,330
cooking, first of all?
628
00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,603
>> Throw things together.
629
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:44,600
>> Yeah, not too much.
630
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,100
>> No chefs here, besides me?
631
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,670
(giggling)
632
00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:48,467
Now, today we're going to start
633
00:14:48,467 --> 00:14:49,427
with one of my personal
634
00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:51,333
favorites, Emilio's crab cakes.
635
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:52,203
Okay?
636
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,530
Now, what's the key ingredient
637
00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:54,333
in a crab cake?
638
00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:55,173
>> (together) Crab.
639
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:56,527
>> Hello!
640
00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:58,973
These are blue crabs, okay?
641
00:14:58,967 --> 00:14:59,767
>> Oh.
642
00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:01,967
>> Would you just look at that?
643
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:05,527
There's my little brother.
644
00:15:05,533 --> 00:15:06,973
Would you look at that?
645
00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:09,067
Can I get a hand over here.
646
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:10,097
Just look at it.
647
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:11,070
Look at that crab claw.
648
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:11,697
>> Just look at it.
649
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:12,370
>> Give him a hand!
650
00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:13,627
Look at it.
651
00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:14,373
Now the next dish we're gonna
652
00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:15,397
move on to,
653
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,470
it's one of my specialties,
654
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:17,527
turtle soup.
655
00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:18,673
Do you guys know how to chop an
656
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,597
onion properly?
657
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,570
>> No.
658
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:21,467
(overlapping chatter, laughter)
659
00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:22,167
>> Okay.
660
00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:23,127
Crash course in cutting
661
00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:23,803
an onion.
662
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:24,470
Now, voila.
663
00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:25,127
Look at this.
664
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:25,873
Look what I'm saying.
665
00:15:25,867 --> 00:15:26,567
Just look at it.
666
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:27,327
Look at this.
667
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,273
Look at this.
668
00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:29,497
Look at that.
669
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,700
Look at that.
670
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:31,470
Look at that.
671
00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:32,527
Now...
672
00:15:32,533 --> 00:15:36,503
(loud and fast chopping)
673
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,070
("Emilio" giggles)
674
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,827
Forgive me.
675
00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:42,073
(sniffling, women laughing)
676
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:42,867
I can't go on.
677
00:15:42,867 --> 00:15:45,867
I can't do this.
678
00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:48,567
The key to a fresh soup is
679
00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:51,297
your stock, so I created my own.
680
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,630
This particular stock has been
681
00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:55,873
marinating for three years,
682
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,197
so we're gonna try to get some
683
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:57,930
of the gravel,
684
00:15:57,933 --> 00:15:58,733
'cause the gravel--
685
00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:00,433
that's gonna give it its flavor.
686
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:01,573
And it's a little crunchy.
687
00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:02,467
Look at that.
688
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:03,567
Just look at that.
689
00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:04,297
Is that not gorgeous
690
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:05,800
looking soup?
691
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,300
We're gonna move on.
692
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,500
Now, po' boys.
693
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,200
>> Ooh.
694
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,200
>> Ooh, tell me about it.
695
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,100
>> You can have, like,
696
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,600
fried shrimp or fried oysters.
697
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,870
>> Your standard po' boy, right?
698
00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:17,367
I have my own signature po' boy
699
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,767
and I'm gonna to show you how
700
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:21,667
I did it.
701
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:24,227
This is our key ingredient.
702
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:24,903
Now my--
703
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:25,630
>> No!
704
00:16:25,633 --> 00:16:26,903
>> My po' boy,
705
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,130
it's a Burmese python.
706
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:28,803
Come on.
707
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:29,670
>> Burmese python.
708
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:30,527
>> Delicious, if we can get him
709
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:32,173
on the bun.
710
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:32,827
Get him on the bun.
711
00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:33,503
We're not gonna get him
712
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,170
in the oven
713
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:34,967
if we don't get him on the bun.
714
00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:35,497
>> I'm sorry.
715
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,270
(python hissing)
716
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:37,267
>> Oh, he's hissing.
717
00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:38,327
>> He's grumpy.
718
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:39,173
He woke up on the wrong side
719
00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:39,827
of the bed.
720
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,573
Just look at him.
721
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,427
Look at him.
722
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:42,273
You gotta come look at him.
723
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:43,127
>> I'm going over there.
724
00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:44,603
>> Look at the snake.
725
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,600
And I want you to look over
726
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,670
there at our cameras.
727
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:47,827
>> Wow, what?
728
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,133
>> There's a camera behind her.
729
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:49,803
There's one thee.
730
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,630
We're filming my show.
731
00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:51,303
It's called
732
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,570
"The Ed Bassmaster Show."
733
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,430
Crew, everybody.
734
00:16:53,433 --> 00:16:54,773
You guys did a great job.
735
00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:58,073
>> Step right up to see
736
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:00,127
my magic show.
737
00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:05,897
Pick a card, any card.
738
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:09,370
Show it to your friend.
739
00:17:09,367 --> 00:17:10,297
Put it anywhere and then...
740
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,970
Hold on.
741
00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:12,927
That's the joker card that comes
742
00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:13,973
with the deck.
743
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,267
I forgot to take that out.
744
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,067
Sorry, hold on.
745
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:16,727
And these are
746
00:17:16,733 --> 00:17:17,603
the instructional cards that
747
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,330
come with the deck.
748
00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:19,173
As you can see, that's all
749
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:22,067
I am removing from the deck.
750
00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,367
So I'm just doing some magic.
751
00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:25,067
I'm kind of new at it, so.
752
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,067
If you wouldn't mind
753
00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:27,167
picking a card.
754
00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:28,527
Put that in your right
755
00:17:28,533 --> 00:17:32,203
back pocket.
756
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:32,900
All right, so there's three
757
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,200
aces, there's one nine,
758
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,070
two nine, one ten.
759
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:37,827
It's a little bit harder than
760
00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:42,073
I thought, please.
761
00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:43,227
Do me a favor.
762
00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:44,073
We'll cut right now.
763
00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:46,227
Just tell me what the card was.
764
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,933
Nine of diamonds? Okay.
765
00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:51,167
Show the guy next to you.
766
00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:52,327
Don't show me.
767
00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:56,903
What was that all about?
768
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:57,970
See you in a few.
769
00:17:57,967 --> 00:17:59,067
All right, thank you.
770
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,367
Bye-bye.
771
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:01,667
Brett Sellars here, we just
772
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:02,397
ordered some food.
773
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,300
It's getting delivered,
774
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,370
when the delivery guy gets here,
775
00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:05,397
we're gonna make him run through
776
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,300
an obstacle course.
777
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,230
Let's go.
778
00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:07,903
Here we have--
779
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:08,570
Whoa, almost run me
780
00:18:08,567 --> 00:18:09,327
down here, okay.
781
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:10,273
How are you doing, sir?
782
00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:10,927
>> What's up?
783
00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:11,603
D-Lo.
784
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,270
>> D-Lo?
785
00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:13,067
We're here with D-Lo,
786
00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:14,097
I'm your host Brett Sellars.
787
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,100
Welcome to
788
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:18,800
the food delivery challenge.
789
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:19,800
Point of the game, D-Lo,
790
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,700
is to get from here
791
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:22,400
to that door.
792
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,100
Do you think you can handle
793
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:23,800
the challenge?
794
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,730
>> Of course.
795
00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:25,473
>> Okay, let's put this food
796
00:18:25,467 --> 00:18:26,127
down in the ground and get
797
00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:26,903
this started.
798
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:28,070
Line up right by the hula-hoops.
799
00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:28,967
When I tell you to go,
800
00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,067
you're gonna give me ten
801
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,267
rotations around the hula hoop.
802
00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:32,127
All we ready, D-Lo?
803
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,373
Let's start the clocks.
804
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:34,067
Three.
805
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:34,697
Two.
806
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:35,430
Go!
807
00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:36,103
Come on, D-Lo, pick up
808
00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:36,830
the hula hoop.
809
00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:37,673
Come on, spin it.
810
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,127
One, three, four, nine, ten,
811
00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:39,973
drop the hula hoop.
812
00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,397
Hop on the Brett express,
813
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,330
hop on.
814
00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,403
All right, here we go,
815
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,470
around the cones.
816
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:47,267
Around the cones we go.
817
00:18:47,267 --> 00:18:48,067
All right, head on the bat,
818
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:48,697
D-Lo.
819
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:49,470
Circle the bat ten times,
820
00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:50,127
let's go.
821
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:53,973
One, two, three.
822
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:54,627
Excellent.
823
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,203
Okay, now hit the ball,
824
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,900
hit the ball!
825
00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:58,730
Okay.
826
00:18:58,733 --> 00:18:59,403
Nice try.
827
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,270
Let's get to our tug of war,
828
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:01,597
we have a tug of war here, D-Lo.
829
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,400
Let's go.
830
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,800
You versus Brett Sellars
831
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,500
on the tug of war.
832
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:05,700
Let's do it, come on!
833
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,370
Pull!
834
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:08,867
Oh, crap!
835
00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:10,297
Oh, D-Lo!
836
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:11,430
>> I had to do it to you, man.
837
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:12,233
>> Through the cross line,
838
00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:13,073
the finish line!
839
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:15,367
Through the finish line!
840
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,730
There we have it, folks.
841
00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:18,673
D-Lo has completed the course
842
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:20,327
and taken first place.
843
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,203
D-Lo, that was amazing!
844
00:19:22,233 --> 00:19:23,573
How do you feel?
845
00:19:23,567 --> 00:19:24,767
What's going through your mind?
846
00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:26,527
>> One of y'all owe me $11.
847
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:31,803
>> We owe the guy $11.
848
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:33,073
- Oh, no.
849
00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:35,173
I do not like what I see.
850
00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:36,427
I see...
851
00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:37,703
a lot of fingerprints.
852
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,600
Open up a can of cat food.
853
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:40,600
[cats meowing]
854
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:41,670
Open up a can of cat food.
855
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:43,467
Open up a can of cat food.
856
00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:45,067
Get off the counter!
857
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,127
Spit it right in the bucket.
858
00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:47,373
Right in the bucket.
There you go.
859
00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:48,627
Go ahead.
860
00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:50,133
Yo!
Oh.
861
00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:51,233
Dip.
862
00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:54,433
Dip, dip, dip,
863
00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:56,103
dip, drip.
864
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,100
Oh, [bleep].
865
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,200
Oh, whoa.
866
00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:03,497
Sing a song about your
867
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,770
sandwiches being stolen.
868
00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,167
>> * Well I was sitting there
869
00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,267
* Eating my sandwich
870
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:10,267
* It was organic
871
00:20:10,267 --> 00:20:12,797
* And gluten-free
872
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,230
* And then some
873
00:20:14,233 --> 00:20:16,033
* Unfortunate person
874
00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,133
* Took the sandwich
875
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,103
* Away from me
876
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,830
* I've eaten
877
00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:24,573
* My last quinoa *
878
00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:27,297
I'll never eat quinoa again.
879
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:28,470
>> Very touching, Scott.
880
00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:29,397
Thank you.
881
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,630
That was amazing.
882
00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:31,973
Best of luck, sir, best of luck.
883
00:20:31,967 --> 00:20:32,927
Thank you, back to you.
884
00:20:32,977 --> 00:20:37,527
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