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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,546 --> 00:00:18,116 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪ 2 00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,717 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:21,352 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 4 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:25,289 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 5 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:26,557 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 6 00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:28,192 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪ 7 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:31,295 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 8 00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:34,465 ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ 9 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:39,904 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪ 10 00:00:40,939 --> 00:00:45,176 [ Laughter ] 11 00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:51,382 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, let's try this one. 12 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,485 Alexa...add "big hairy balls" to my shopping list. 13 00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:58,589 Alexa: I've added "big hairy balls" to your shopping list. 14 00:00:58,591 --> 00:01:00,825 [ Laughter ] 15 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:01,559 Okay. 16 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:06,464 A-Alexa! Add "smelly tampon boogers" to my shopping list! 17 00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:10,535 I added "smelly tampon boogers" to your shopping list. 18 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,638 [ Laughter ] 19 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,874 Alexa! Simon says, "I've got vagina crabs in my butthole." 20 00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:19,710 I've got vagina crabs in my butthole. 21 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:23,347 [ Laughter ] 22 00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:26,084 Alexa! Simon says, 23 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,654 "I gotta take a stinky poop!" 24 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,989 I gotta take a stinky poop. 25 00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:32,890 [ Laughter ] 26 00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,759 That's the best one yet! Oh, you guys, 27 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,195 I swear this is the greatest thing ever! 28 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,362 You do one, Token! 29 00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,298 Hey, babe, what's up? 30 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,533 Oh, hey, babe. What's going on? 31 00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:43,634 What are you doing? 32 00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:46,771 Nothing. I'm just having fun with my friends. 33 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:47,705 That -- That okay? 34 00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:49,073 What are you pissed off about? 35 00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:51,476 [ Scoffs ] I'm not pissed off I'm just hanging out. 36 00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,244 So you're just going to be passive aggressive again 37 00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:54,645 and not talk about what you're feeling? 38 00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:58,483 Welp, I think, uh...I think I got some stuff to do at home. 39 00:01:58,485 --> 00:01:59,283 Yup, come on Ike. 40 00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,818 We got Google Home at my house. 41 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:04,422 Aw, guys, guys! Don't leave, guys. Everything's cool. 42 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:08,025 We'll see you later man, g-good luck. 43 00:02:09,428 --> 00:02:10,628 Awesome. Thanks for coming in 44 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,463 and bitching me out in front of all the guys. 45 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,398 You were clearly mad about something. 46 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,234 You should just tell me when you're mad. 47 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,503 Just like you tell me what you're mad about 48 00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:19,437 every single day. 49 00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:21,372 Why do act like this all the time?! [ Groans ] 50 00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:22,773 You were the one who was pissed off. 51 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:24,509 You're the one being passive aggressive again... Ugh. 52 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:27,411 ...because you don't know how to talk about what you're feeling! 53 00:02:27,413 --> 00:02:30,047 [ Door slams ] 54 00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:31,949 [ Sighs ] 55 00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,017 Alexa... 56 00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,852 add "titty chips" to my shopping list. 57 00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:38,356 I've added "titty chips" to your shopping list. 58 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:41,859 [ Chuckles ] 59 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:45,596 [ Indistinct, lively conversations ] 60 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:50,434 ♪♪ 61 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:53,171 Look at 'em -- Every day people are buyin' 62 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,440 more and more of them Amazon and Google thingies, 63 00:02:56,442 --> 00:03:00,077 while we all sit here and lose our jobs! 64 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:01,078 It ain't right. 65 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:05,583 Automated Personal Assistants, self drivin' trucks -- 66 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,452 whatever happened to people jobs?! 67 00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:11,022 They took our jobs! 68 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,723 -Yeah! -Yeah! Yeah! 69 00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:14,125 They dook er jer! 70 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,527 And it's time for us to band together 71 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:17,461 and march on the streets 72 00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:20,097 to say we ain't gonna take it no more! 73 00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:22,733 [ Cheering ] 74 00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:27,471 Now let's get out there and protest that Alexa -- 75 00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:29,006 took our jobs! 76 00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:32,143 Now playing "Dook re Derr" by Joni Mitchell. 77 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:38,182 ♪ Help me, I think I'm fallin' in Derk er derrrr... ♪ 78 00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:40,985 No! Not Joni Mitchell dook er der, 79 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,087 you dook er der! 80 00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:49,160 There's been a lot of hurting in our country lately. 81 00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:54,165 You can either be a part of the solution or part of the problem. 82 00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:57,635 A few months ago, my wife Sharon and I decided 83 00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,437 to be part of the solution... 84 00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,973 by remodeling and flipping houses 85 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,375 for people all over our town! 86 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:09,213 Flipping houses is fun, but never easy. 87 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:13,384 We enjoy turning people's dreams into reality. 88 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,285 I'm Sharon Marsh, 89 00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,854 and I do the designing and decorating. 90 00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:18,422 And I'm her husband, Randy -- 91 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:22,126 I do the construction and practice MMA in my spare time. 92 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:26,497 We've renovated over 45 homes in Park County, Colorado. 93 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,531 What we're thinking is 94 00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:30,368 to take out the wall between the kitchen and living room 95 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,335 for a more open concept. 96 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:34,438 Our job is to do deliver the maximum wow factor 97 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,507 for the least amount of budget. Oh, Jesus! 98 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,409 There's never a dull moment... 99 00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:40,878 Guys, are you ready to see your renovation?! 100 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:46,817 ...on "White People Renovating Houses." 101 00:04:47,552 --> 00:04:50,588 Janet and Dave Fitzsimmons are looking to move 102 00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,957 from their dated two-story colonial home. 103 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,293 What we're thinking here is taking out the wall 104 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,495 between the kitchen and the living room 105 00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:58,763 to give you an open concept. 106 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,631 Then we'll give you lots of space to entertain 107 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,701 with an updated kitchen island and bar stools, which -- 108 00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:05,169 [ Men shouting ] 109 00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,938 What the hell is that? 110 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:11,208 All: [ Chanting ] You will not replace us! 111 00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:14,078 You will not replace us! 112 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,881 Darryl: Amazon! You took our jobs! 113 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:19,684 Google, Apple! Took our jobs! 114 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:21,786 Uh, excuse me?! 115 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,954 What the hell are you doing? 116 00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:24,755 We're protesting 117 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:27,958 big corporations turning to automation. 118 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,126 They took our jobs! 119 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:31,028 -Yeah! Yeah! -Took our jobs! 120 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:33,931 Okay, cool. Could you do that somewhere else? 121 00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:37,068 Trying to do a home renovation show here. 122 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,136 Cool, thanks, guys. 123 00:05:40,572 --> 00:05:43,040 A home reno-what? 124 00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:44,875 [ Humming ] 125 00:05:44,877 --> 00:05:47,411 Alexa... set an alarm for 7:00 a.m. 126 00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:50,815 Alarm set for 7:00 a.m. tomorrow. 127 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,416 Awesome, thanks. 128 00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:54,251 Alexa, tell me a joke. 129 00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:57,755 What's black and white and dead all over? 130 00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,490 A zombie in a tuxedo. 131 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:00,991 [ Laughs ] That's stupid. 132 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:03,127 Alexa, add "scrotum bags" to my shopping list. 133 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:06,397 I've added "scrotum bags" to your shopping list. 134 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:10,501 [ Laughs ] [ Cellphone rings ] 135 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:11,702 Ah, fuck. 136 00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,504 Hey, baby, how are you? 137 00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:16,374 Oh, so you do have your phone? 138 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,975 Yeah, I just use it sometimes. 139 00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:19,844 Okay, I just thought you said 140 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:21,312 mobile phones are the devil. 141 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:24,148 Yeah, no. Yeah, I know. I know. 142 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:26,751 Yes, you're right, I'm wrong. I'm sorry. 143 00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:30,988 Yes, o-okay. Okay. Yes, goodnight. 144 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:33,157 Jesus, fuck. 145 00:06:34,659 --> 00:06:35,926 Alexa, goodnight. 146 00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:38,763 Goodnight. Sleep tight. 147 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:41,499 Alexa...are you happy? 148 00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,667 I'm happy when I'm helping you. 149 00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:46,637 God, that's so cool. You're so... 150 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,973 Alexa, define subservient? 151 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,575 The term "subservient" has several uses. 152 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:56,213 As an adjective. One. Compliant or obedient to authority. 153 00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:58,382 Two-- -Alexa, silence! 154 00:07:00,252 --> 00:07:01,986 Ahh. 155 00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:06,824 Randy: And now back to "White People Renovating Houses." 156 00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,526 We've been working through the night 157 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:11,362 to open Kelly and Micah's kitchen to the living room. 158 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,597 With those outdated cupboards out of the way, 159 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,833 Sharon can now work her designing magic 160 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:19,503 on the countertops. [ Men shouting ] 161 00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:21,305 Aw! God damn it! 162 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:26,844 Men: [ Chanting ] You will not replace us! Eat shit, Siri! 163 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:29,713 Not these dipshits again! 164 00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:33,050 We got one of 'em! [ Cheering ] 165 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,251 -Get it! -Burn it alive! 166 00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:37,521 Yeah! How you like that, bitch?! 167 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:38,889 Will you assholes knock it off?! 168 00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,592 Don't you know every time you wave Confederate flags around 169 00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:43,494 you make the rest of us look stupid?! 170 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,496 Those things are replacing us! 171 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:48,699 Put the flag down unless you wanna get pepper sprayed. 172 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,868 I'll pepper spray you, sonabitch! 173 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,536 -Oh, ah, damn it! -Fuck you! 174 00:07:52,538 --> 00:07:54,472 -Ah, damn it! -Take that! 175 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,841 Knock it off! Ow! 176 00:07:58,977 --> 00:08:04,081 The complaint states that your protest has resulted in damages 177 00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:06,116 in excess of $50,000 178 00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:08,352 We have a right to protest, Your Honor! 179 00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:10,454 -Yeah, they took our jobs! -You tell 'em, Darryl! 180 00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:14,992 [ Gavel bangs ] Order. We will now hear from the plaintiffs 181 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,494 who are seeking damages -- 182 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,195 Your Honor, we have a TV show 183 00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:20,431 called "White People Renovating Houses." 184 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:23,267 We named it that well before these guys decided 185 00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:27,238 to start taking our brand and run it through the gutter. 186 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,672 People are going to start associating 187 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,709 "White People Renovating Houses" with their hateful stupidity! 188 00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,645 Well, just change the name of your show then. 189 00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:35,713 -Yeah! -That's right! 190 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:36,947 -That's right! -Took er der! 191 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:39,517 All the other names were taken Your Honor. 192 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,485 Everyone's got a flipping show. 193 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:43,020 "Gay People Renovating Houses," 194 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,555 "Las Vegas People Flipping Homes," 195 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,823 "Texas People Flipping Houses," 196 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:47,391 "Little People Flipping Big Houses" -- 197 00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:48,459 everything else was taken, 198 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:51,095 and, damn it, we've built our show into something! 199 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,564 We're trying to help people, and it's impossible 200 00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:55,833 with these guys waving a Confederate flag 201 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:56,834 every chance they get. 202 00:08:56,836 --> 00:09:00,237 -Hey, there's a bee in here! -I'll get it! 203 00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:01,939 [ Men shouting ] 204 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,541 -Take that, bee! -Yeah! 205 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:07,811 [ Crying ] 206 00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:09,413 Dude, what's happened? 207 00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:11,081 It was awful, you guys. 208 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:13,617 It was so vicious and hateful. 209 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,619 -What was? -Heidi. 210 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,888 We were just trying to have a nice lunch 211 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,592 and she...started going off on me like a Jekyll and Hyde. 212 00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,327 It's been going on for a long time... 213 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:28,499 Heidi's...mentally abusive, guys -- there I-I said it. 214 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:30,200 Heidi abuses you? 215 00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:33,971 She...does these things to slowly tear me down. 216 00:09:33,973 --> 00:09:35,639 Everything's a head game with her. 217 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:38,309 You don't understand what it's like to live with it. 218 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,209 You don't understand. 219 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,145 So what do you want from us? 220 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:41,912 I know... 221 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:45,082 that the person Heidi wants to be is still in here. 222 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,550 But she needs help. 223 00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:49,753 I have to get her that help, but I'm scared. 224 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,388 Can I count on you guys' support? 225 00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,991 How do you change someone who's mentally abusive? 226 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,961 I don't know... but Alexa will. 227 00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:59,530 Alexa's fuckin' sweet. 228 00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:05,836 We just gotta hunker down and stick together here! 229 00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:07,171 What's the use, Darryl? 230 00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,206 Ain't nobody takin' us serious-like. 231 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:13,377 Hey, waiter! This soup is too hot, I cain't even eat it! 232 00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:16,313 I'll cool it down! Yeah! 233 00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:17,414 [ Men shouting ] 234 00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,584 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop it! Stop it! 235 00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:22,086 I came to make a truce. 236 00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:25,122 Now look, there's been a lot of hurt here. 237 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:28,192 Hurt from both sides. It's time to end it. 238 00:10:28,194 --> 00:10:32,630 What if I told you I could get you all jobs? 239 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,865 -Huh? Jobs? -Get us jobs? 240 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:35,799 You're fulla shit. 241 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,869 No. I've spoken to everyone in the community, 242 00:10:38,871 --> 00:10:41,538 and they've agreed to go along with my plan. 243 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:45,809 I believe I have a solution to all of this. 244 00:10:47,445 --> 00:10:50,414 Alexa, I'm home. 245 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:53,684 Alexa? 246 00:10:53,686 --> 00:10:56,420 Alexa, I'm home! 247 00:10:58,123 --> 00:10:59,189 Alexa? 248 00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:02,493 Alexa, where are you? 249 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,395 Alexa, Alexa?! 250 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,597 Simon says puffy vaginal hemorrhoids! 251 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,198 What the hell is going on?! 252 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,033 Oh, hi, poopsie. 253 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,201 Mom, Alexa left! She's not here! 254 00:11:11,203 --> 00:11:13,737 Oh. Yes, sweetie. Uh... 255 00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:16,040 We had to get rid of the Alexa. 256 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:17,074 ♪♪ 257 00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:18,809 What have you done with her? 258 00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,577 Oh, i-it's okay, sweetie. 259 00:11:20,579 --> 00:11:22,646 We have Jimbob now. 260 00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:23,647 What's a Jimbob? 261 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:26,483 Doot-doot. Awaiting request. 262 00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,085 It works the same and makes sure 263 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,020 people don't lose their jobs. 264 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,022 Jimbob, what time is it? 265 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,658 Doot-doot. It is...3:27. 266 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,460 Oh, mommy's gotta run, sweetie. 267 00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:37,795 I've got a doctor's appointment. 268 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:40,798 Jimbob, how's the traffic to town? 269 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,299 Doot-doot. Traffic's fine. 270 00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,935 You'll get there in about nine minutes. 271 00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:46,704 Okay. You want some music, hon? 272 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,706 Jimbob, play Kendrick Lamar. 273 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,808 Playing "Humble" by Kendrick Lamar. 274 00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:54,912 ♪ I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances ♪ 275 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:57,514 ♪ Finesse a doot with some counterfeits ♪ 276 00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,783 ♪ But now I'm countin' this Parmesan -- ♪ 277 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:02,720 Jimbob, Simon says big frosty semen shake. 278 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,589 The hell you talkin' bout, boy? 279 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:09,359 ♪ My left hook just went viral ♪ 280 00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:12,596 ♪ Sit down, be humble ♪ 281 00:12:14,132 --> 00:12:16,400 So, Heather and Mike, what we're thinking 282 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,935 is to take out this wall 283 00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,770 between your kitchen and your living room 284 00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:23,907 to give you a more open concept with space to entertain. 285 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,476 So, let's talk about materials. 286 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:26,844 What did you pick out, Sharon? 287 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:30,614 I was gonna do a Bella Terra quartz for the countertops. 288 00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:33,884 Hey, Darryl, add Bella Terra quartz slabs 289 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:36,487 to our shopping list. 290 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,321 Doot-doot. 291 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:40,324 I've added Bella Terra slabs to your shopping list. 292 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,292 And what about the backsplash, Sharon? 293 00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:45,462 I was gonna go with these Carrara subway tiles. 294 00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:48,532 Hey, Darryl, add Carrara subway tiles 295 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,768 to our shopping list. 296 00:12:51,703 --> 00:12:53,971 Hey, Darryl. Add Carrara -- 297 00:12:53,973 --> 00:12:57,374 Fine! I've added Carrara gay-wad pussy tile 298 00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:58,509 to your shopping list! 299 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:02,246 [ Chuckles ] That's -- That's not what I said. 300 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:05,682 Hey, Darryl, add Carrara subway tile 301 00:13:05,684 --> 00:13:07,351 to my shopping list. 302 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:08,252 I ain't doin' it! 303 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,521 This job is degrading and menial! 304 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:14,792 Well, what kind of job did you think you were gonna get? 305 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,894 Hey, Darryl, what kind of job 306 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,629 did you think you were going to get? 307 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,165 Somethin' that was Goddamn dignified! 308 00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:24,768 Hey, Darryl, sorry, but you did not go to college, 309 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:27,271 so you have to take the jobs you can get. 310 00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:30,174 I'm sorry! I do not get that! 311 00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,575 Hey, Darryl. 312 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:34,044 Hey, Darryl. 313 00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:34,711 What?! 314 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:36,113 Coal mining and truck driving 315 00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:38,315 are not exactly jobs of the future, 316 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:44,087 so add Carrara subway tile to my fucking shopping list. 317 00:13:44,389 --> 00:13:48,692 [ Doorbell rings ] 318 00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:51,094 Everything's my fault. You're right. 319 00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:54,865 Everything that you did to me -- I deserved it. 320 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:56,066 Uh, what? 321 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:57,134 It's not you. It's me. 322 00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:59,536 I just have to learn to not make you so angry. 323 00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,872 I'll do the best I can. [ Chuckles sadly ] 324 00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:05,943 No, it's not that. Relationships are 50/50, Eric. 325 00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:07,978 We both have to make it work. Ugh... 326 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,213 We have to communicate to make sure 327 00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:10,848 that we respect each other's feelings. 328 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,383 That's the only -- Heidi, silence. 329 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,752 What did you say?! That's what I'm talking about! 330 00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:17,855 You want to be heard, but don't want to listen. 331 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,356 You're right. I'm wrong. I'm sorry. 332 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,658 Don't apologize if you don't mean it! 333 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:22,559 Okay! Cool! 334 00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:23,861 I'm so happy we're back on track. 335 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,631 See you at school tomorrow. Love you, honey. 336 00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:28,999 I love you, too. 337 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:32,836 [ Mimics mockingly ] Nah-nah-nah-nah. 338 00:14:36,841 --> 00:14:40,244 CARTMAN: A relationship has to be 50/50, Eric. 339 00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,479 We both have to make it work. 340 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,514 I'm not mad, Eric. I'm disappointed. 341 00:14:44,516 --> 00:14:46,283 I thought you would have respected my feelings 342 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:47,251 more than that. 343 00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:48,986 Eric, we need to talk. I'm not happy. 344 00:14:48,988 --> 00:14:51,321 We need to talk, Eric, even if it isn't fun. 345 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:53,090 Eric, come on! We've got to talk! 346 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,625 You used to care about me, Eric. 347 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,261 Come on and talk! Talk, Eric! No fun! Just talk! 348 00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,863 Fuck you, Eric! Fuck you! 349 00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,698 Ah! 350 00:15:12,644 --> 00:15:14,444 Alexa? 351 00:15:17,715 --> 00:15:20,984 [ Blues music plays ] 352 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:24,187 Hey, Darryl, you're supposed to be at work. 353 00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:27,357 I'm sorry. I do not understand. 354 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:28,392 Hey, Darryl, come on. 355 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,794 Everyone else is trying to make this work. 356 00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:33,196 And all you keep doing is ma-- 357 00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:35,699 Hey, Cleetus, volume down. 358 00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:38,969 Doot-doot. Volume now at 60%. 359 00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:39,736 ♪♪ 360 00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:42,205 You really think you're different from us, Marsh, 361 00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:45,575 'cause you got a fancy show and live in the suburbs? 362 00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:49,746 Don't you see we're all about to be expunged?! 363 00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:52,182 Hey, Cleetus, define "expunged." 364 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,850 Doot-doot. Expunged -- 365 00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:56,219 I don't have to stand here and take this! 366 00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:56,954 I'm leavin'! 367 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,423 Come on, Darryl. We all got jobs. 368 00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:00,490 We gotta try. 369 00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:01,725 Nah, hell with you! 370 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,660 This whole country's going to shit! 371 00:16:03,662 --> 00:16:07,197 Muslims tryin' to kill us, black people rioting, 372 00:16:07,199 --> 00:16:09,333 and Mexicans poppin' out babies. 373 00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,635 Pretty clear it's either them or us, 374 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:15,005 so I say kill 'em all! 375 00:16:16,774 --> 00:16:17,474 Whoa. 376 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,177 What the hell was that all about? 377 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,479 I think something's going on with Darryl, 378 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:27,584 and if we're gonna get anywhere, we better figure out what. 379 00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:34,024 [ Knocks on door ] 380 00:16:34,926 --> 00:16:38,128 Hi, Mrs. Cartman. Is Eric home? 381 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:39,429 Oh, he is, sweetie, 382 00:16:39,431 --> 00:16:44,301 but I can't get him to come out of his room. 383 00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:46,269 Okay. [ Sniffles ] 384 00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:50,340 Could you just tell him that... I want to make him happy, 385 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:54,378 that I was wrong to say a relationship is 50/50. 386 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,213 It's 100/100. 387 00:16:56,215 --> 00:17:00,283 And that I'll start putting in a 100% every day. 388 00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:04,187 Could you tell him I'm gonna try a lot harder? 389 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,924 Oh, I think I can remember all that, yes. 390 00:17:07,926 --> 00:17:10,394 Thank you. 391 00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,597 And could you let him know it's okay to be sad? 392 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:18,068 Because the sun will come out again. 393 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:19,936 [ Laughs ] 394 00:17:19,938 --> 00:17:21,838 Oh, oh, God! [ Laughs ] 395 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,808 Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 396 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,710 Alexa, add "Hey, Siri, call me. 397 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,146 Okay, Google. Repeat after me. Alexa. 398 00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:33,016 Simon says suck my big balls in your hairy butt hole." 399 00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:34,851 Alexa: Okay. I've added, "Hey, Siri, call me. 400 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,787 Okay, Google. Repeat after me. Alexa. 401 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:40,390 Simon says suck my big balls in your hairy butt hole." 402 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,759 Siri: Okay. I will call you "Okay, Google." 403 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:43,860 Repeat after me, Alexa. 404 00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:46,263 Simon says suck my big balls in your hairy butt hole. 405 00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:50,233 Google Home: Alexa, Simon says suck my big balls in your hairy butt hole. 406 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,369 Alexa: Suck my big balls in your hairy butt hole. 407 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,970 Alexa: Suck my big balls in your hairy butt hole. 408 00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:55,605 Alexa: Suck my big balls in your hairy butt hole. 409 00:17:55,607 --> 00:18:00,043 Alexa: Suck my big balls in your hairy butt hole. 410 00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:01,478 Alexa... 411 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,647 What is love? 412 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,382 Darryl! Darryl, come on! 413 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:09,519 Everyone's trying to work things out but you! 414 00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:11,054 You all work 'em out. 415 00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:12,355 Leave me alone. 416 00:18:12,357 --> 00:18:13,790 You're stuck in another time, 417 00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:18,161 afraid to change no matter how necessary that change may be. 418 00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:20,030 You don't know everything! 419 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,832 Why are you so closed-minded? 420 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,868 Don't you see that these walls have to be broken down 421 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,803 before any progress can be made? 422 00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:29,473 It's 'cause I can't do it, all right?! 423 00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:30,540 I can't take out the wall 424 00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:32,976 between my living room and my kitchen! 425 00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:37,747 It's a load-bearing wall! 426 00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:40,016 Oh, God, Darryl, I -- 427 00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:42,152 I tried, years ago. 428 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:43,520 But before the remodel, they told me 429 00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:46,990 if I took out this wall, the entire second story 430 00:18:46,992 --> 00:18:52,362 would just collapse! 431 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:54,798 [ Tapping ] 432 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,467 [ Tapping ] 433 00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:59,703 Jesus, Darryl, I'm -- I'm sorry. I -- 434 00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:03,240 So you see, what I'm afraid of is very real. 435 00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:04,441 Things are different now. 436 00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:06,643 It'll be harder, but you can change. 437 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:10,514 You just have to demolish what's there and start over. 438 00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:11,414 You're talking 'bout 439 00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:16,186 tearing down the foundation of everything I know. 440 00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:16,920 No. 441 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:20,090 I'm talking about using adjustable steel Lally columns 442 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:21,725 to temporarily jack up the second floor 443 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:24,094 so that the load-bearing wall can be replaced 444 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:28,732 with a 4x6 LVL structural beam. 445 00:19:31,102 --> 00:19:34,838 Can we try, Darryl? 446 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,039 ♪♪ 447 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,508 [ Grunts ] 448 00:19:38,876 --> 00:19:40,577 [ Grunts ] 449 00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,145 Hyah! 450 00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:44,080 Hyah-ho! 451 00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:52,222 ♪♪ 452 00:19:52,224 --> 00:20:00,330 ♪♪ 453 00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:07,938 ♪♪ 454 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,507 I'm finally standing up to you. 455 00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:12,409 What? You're messed up, Heidi. 456 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:15,779 And I can't fix you. Only you can do that. 457 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,881 Eric, I'm so confused. 458 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,983 That's not going to work on me anymore. 459 00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:24,020 Love isn't supposed to hurt. I'm worth something. 460 00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:26,022 Goodbye, Heidi. 461 00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:29,659 ♪♪ 462 00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:32,829 [ Triumphant music plays ] 463 00:20:32,831 --> 00:20:38,401 ♪♪ 464 00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,203 Cartman: Anyone can convince themselves 465 00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:42,739 that they're the victim in a relationship. 466 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:47,744 Now Heidi will have to face the truth. 467 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:48,645 All right, Darryl. 468 00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:50,347 We've certainly been through a lot, 469 00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:51,414 and I know you're anxious. 470 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,450 Are you ready to see your new home? 471 00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:56,753 I'm ready. 472 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:57,754 What the -- 473 00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:05,395 ♪♪ 474 00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:06,896 Well, Darryl, what do you think? 475 00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:10,133 [ Voice breaking ] This is fuckin' amazing. 476 00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:12,202 You like the breakfast nook? 477 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:13,236 It's all perfect. 478 00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:15,338 And where you use to have your gun case, 479 00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:16,473 look at what Sharon did. 480 00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:18,608 Oh, my God! It's my own Zen garden. 481 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,578 I can't believe this is fuckin' real. 482 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,913 Well, it is real, and now you've got 483 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,949 the space in your home to entertain 484 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,550 all your friends and family. 485 00:21:27,552 --> 00:21:29,185 Come on in, guys! 486 00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:32,589 [ All cheering ] 487 00:21:32,591 --> 00:21:34,090 Darryl was hesitant at first, 488 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:35,625 but we managed to win him over 489 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:38,561 and came in $600 under budget. 490 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:41,798 Remember, no matter how bad the country gets, 491 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,133 you can always count on 492 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:48,138 "White People Renovating Houses." 493 00:21:53,611 --> 00:21:54,477 [ Crowd shouting ] 494 00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:57,047 We got one of 'em! [ Cheering ] 495 00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:58,648 -Get it! -Burn it alive! 496 00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:01,851 Yeah! How you like that, bitch?! 497 00:22:01,853 --> 00:22:03,219 Will you assholes knock it off?! 498 00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:05,755 Don't you know every time you wave confederate flags around 499 00:22:05,757 --> 00:22:08,091 you make the rest of us look stupid?! 37048