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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:03,500 A toast to my movie opening. 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:06,100 It's gonna be great to see it in a theater full of real fans... 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:08,300 ...surrounded by the people closest to me. 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,700 Hear, hear. 5 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:13,900 I forgot. 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,800 I'm a recovering alcoholic. 7 00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,200 What can you do? 8 00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,400 I have some other huge news. 9 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:26,100 Bobbie just closed a three-picture deal with Warner Bros. For me. 10 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,400 Joey, that's awesome. 11 00:00:27,500 --> 00:00:30,200 Great, Joe. How much did it cost for you to sell your soul? 12 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,700 This from a guy who just sold his sperm for $25? 13 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,600 Hey, you know, they originally offered 20. 14 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:36,900 You gotta be willing to walk away. Am I right, Alex? 15 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,900 I think it's great. They're gonna let him pick out his own movie projects. 16 00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:43,400 Yeah, I get an office, I get to hire a development executive. 17 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,800 I got my own production company. 18 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,100 I'm gonna call it Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 19 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,500 Because if you take all the letters in "Joey Tribbiani"... 20 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,700 ...and you rearrange them, that's what you get. 21 00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:53,000 Wait. 22 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,000 No, you don't. There's no S in your name. There's no D, there's no M. 23 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,000 That's your opinion, isn't it? 24 00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:03,500 When someone calls the office... 25 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,700 ...my development executive's gonna answer the phone: 26 00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:07,200 "Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. " 27 00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:11,800 Why? 28 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,300 Because that's my catch phrase. I say it all the time. 29 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,600 Any time I walk in or out of a room. 30 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:18,300 - You've never said that. - Yeah. 31 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,500 - You don't... - I've never heard that. 32 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,700 Really? Because I'm always thinking it. 33 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,700 Let's get to the theater. I hate missing previews. 34 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,500 All right, here we go: 35 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:31,200 Don't start now. 36 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,000 That was... That was amazing. 37 00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:05,800 I mean, the audience was so into it, right? 38 00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:08,200 I gotta tell you, that was one sophisticated action movie. 39 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,900 I loved the twist at the end when the old guy gives you the locket... 40 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,700 ...and you learn he's your father. 41 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,900 My father? 42 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,000 What movie were you watching? 43 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:20,400 It's the same guy as the photo of your dad from the beginning. 44 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,300 Oh, my God. 45 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,800 - That means that his wife was... - Yes. 46 00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:28,400 Oh, my God. 47 00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:33,200 What? No. 48 00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,800 Yeah, no. 49 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,500 This new job at the mall. I gotta pick up an extra shift. 50 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,300 My new boss has it in for me. 51 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,400 - Oh, what's he mad about this time? - I blew off work to see this movie. 52 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,800 Jimmy, you didn't have to do that. 53 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,700 Not your movie. I saw Capote this afternoon. 54 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,600 Poor Jimmy. He's so brilliant but he keeps getting stuck in stupid jobs... 55 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,700 ...and screwing up because he's miserable there. 56 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,000 Wait a second. 57 00:02:58,200 --> 00:02:59,400 I should hire him. 58 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,000 I love Jimmy. He should be my development exec. 59 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:05,600 He's the smartest guy I know. He's a genius when it comes to movies. 60 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:09,200 You saw the way he figured out the old man was my dad. 61 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,100 Joey, it was you in old-man makeup. 62 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:23,100 Hey, Jimmy. 63 00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,900 - How's it going, you got a sec? - Hi, Joe. 64 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,400 You come to see me or the store's curiously nipply mannequins? 65 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,100 No, no. Look, come on. 66 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:31,400 You're wasting your time here. 67 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:34,100 How about you come and work with me at my production company? 68 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,700 That'd be cool. I don't think I should leave this job. 69 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,400 I found I have a real knack for retail. 70 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,800 Excuse me? How do I look in this? 71 00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:42,600 - Is it for work or leisure? - It's for work. 72 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:45,200 What's your job? You a fat prostitute? 73 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,900 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 74 00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:51,800 Look, come on, huh? Lt'd be fun. 75 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:55,500 Like when we were 10, only now it won't be weird that you have a beard. 76 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,500 - You really wanna hire me? - Yeah. 77 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:00,000 You're someone I trust. You're the smartest guy I know. 78 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,700 I need you. 79 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,500 I have to admit it sounds pretty good. 80 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,800 But I don't want any charity. 81 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,200 I wanna interview for the job just like everybody else. 82 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:08,600 - You got it. - Okay. 83 00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:10,300 You're not wrong about these mannequins. 84 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,700 Yeah, that's an actual woman, Joe. 85 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:17,200 Then I got some apologizing to do. On the way in, I stuck gum on her. 86 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,300 I guess I'll have to replace this. 87 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,100 Oh, my God. It's happening. 88 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:38,300 Alex, it's Joey. He's doing it. Get over here. 89 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,900 - Oh, hey, Michael. - Hey. 90 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,100 Here we go. 91 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,600 If anybody wants any water, it's all set. 92 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,600 That was the best one ever. 93 00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:50,700 I really needed that this morning. I've been in kind of a funk. 94 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,500 Why? What's going on? 95 00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,300 Dean and I broke up. 96 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:58,400 - Oh, Alex. - Yeah, I'm sorry. 97 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,000 She's single. This is your chance. 98 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,000 - Get, get, get. - Oh, honey, tell me what happened. 99 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,300 Well, it's kind of a bummer. 100 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:08,300 But I guess it was inevitable because he was just always so... 101 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:15,400 - Anyway, you okay, huh? Here. - Yeah, I will be. Oh, thanks. 102 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:17,500 Look, I want you to know, you need anything at all... 103 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,900 ...and I mean anything, I am right here. 104 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,600 I'm so glad you said that. 105 00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:23,900 I know you've been thinking about us getting together... 106 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,600 ...and I've been thinking about it too... 107 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:29,200 ...but what I really need right now is a friend so... 108 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:35,000 - Wow. Thank you, Joey. - Is that okay? 109 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,800 - Joey, check this out. - Yeah. 110 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,300 This is a site where people rate movies after seeing them. 111 00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,400 People are loving your movie. 112 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,600 On a scale from one to 10, it's getting an average rating of 9.7. 113 00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,800 - Wow. - That's so exciting. 114 00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,100 Wait, someone gave it a zero. 115 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,200 What didn't he like? 116 00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:52,100 "Joey Tribbiani is the worst actor ever. " 117 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,300 Me? 118 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,100 He didn't like me? Click on that guy's link. 119 00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:58,900 He's got his own website. It's coming up. 120 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:03,000 "JoeyTribbianiSucks. Com"? 121 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,900 That settles it. I'm getting a computer. 122 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,100 Oh, my God. 123 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,200 "Lame shows. Lame girlfriends. " 124 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,300 What's this? 125 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,100 "Joey's Confession. " Click on that. 126 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,000 - I pick... - My nose! 127 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,700 - And? - Eat it! 128 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,000 - I pick... - My nose! 129 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,000 - And? - Eat it! 130 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:25,200 Each one of those clips was from a different part I played. 131 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,700 To put this together, he had to watch everything I've ever done. 132 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,600 We're dealing with a madman. 133 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,500 Hi. Hey. 134 00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:40,700 So glad you're here. This is gonna be great. 135 00:07:40,700 --> 00:07:43,500 Remember, I only want this job if I can earn it, fair and square. 136 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,700 Right, "fair and square. " 137 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,700 Good morning, everyone. 138 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,200 Oh, hi. Hey, could you wait outside with the other candidates? 139 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,000 - Just... - No, I'm sitting in on the meetings. L... 140 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,100 I'm Trent. 141 00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,400 From the studio. 142 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,000 Senior V.P. Of Development. 143 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,100 Oh, hey, great to meet you. 144 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,500 We've met 30 times. 145 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,300 Oh, I'm sorry. But don't take it personally. 146 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,900 Yesterday I had a meeting with a guy who said he's like met me 29 times. 147 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,000 Okay, let's get started. 148 00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:19,100 James Costa. 149 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,200 - How you doing? - Hi. 150 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,100 - How you doing? - Good. 151 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,500 So tell us a little something about yourself, Mr. Costa. 152 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,200 I just moved to the West Coast. 153 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,900 I'm seeking employment in the entertainment industry. 154 00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:34,100 It would be an honor to work at Warner Bros., with its rich pedigree... 155 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:37,800 ...of such films as Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon. 156 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,400 Okay. Your r�sum� ends after high school. 157 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,200 I'm sorry, are my papers not in order, Herr Kommandant? 158 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,700 What Trent meant was it'd be nice to know... 159 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,500 ...what you've been up to since then. 160 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,300 That's a fair question, Trent. 161 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,100 It's been a bit of a rough ride, you know? 162 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,900 You know, there were some setbacks. 163 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,500 You know... 164 00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,700 ...mainly because Hector set me up, man! 165 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,300 Okay, you know what? 166 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,500 - Can you wait outside for a second? - Yeah. 167 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,300 - That would be great, Mr. Costa. - Yeah. 168 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,200 - Out of my chair! - Okay. 169 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,700 I think we found our guy. 170 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,500 I hacked into JoeyTribbianiSucks. Com. 171 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,100 I got the guy's address. It is the work of one Gary Spindler. 172 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,500 He lives right in L.A. 173 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,700 - Really? - Yeah. 174 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,600 Know what? Maybe I'll go pay Mr. Gary Spindler a little visit. 175 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,300 Wow, Joey, I love the new office. 176 00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:40,800 It's spacious and elegantly furnished. 177 00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,600 But you know what you could use? 178 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:46,900 You got one. 179 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,800 - Has Jimmy shown up yet? - Not yet. 180 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,800 He was a little shaky in his interview... 181 00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,800 ...and now he's late for his first day. 182 00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:56,200 Well, you need to set the tone with a new employee. 183 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,800 You gotta keep them in line. 184 00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:59,500 No. 185 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,600 She hits you? 186 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,200 It's okay. I hit her back. 187 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,100 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Jimmy. 188 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:11,500 Jim, look, if you're gonna be working here, you gotta be on time. 189 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,100 What? I've been here since 6. I just went out to get coffee. 190 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,500 - What? - Yeah. I finished reading these scripts. 191 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,500 I found a couple that might be good for you. 192 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,600 Take a look at those. 193 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:22,300 Read my notes. I set up meetings with writers and directors. 194 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,500 We're gonna find something great for you. 195 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,600 Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 196 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,500 Okay, Trent. Yeah, pencil us in for tomorrow. 197 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,000 Okay, all right, babe. 198 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,600 Jimmy. Wow, I gotta say, I am impressed. 199 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:39,800 This is a whole new you. 200 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,800 I take this job seriously. I'm excited about things we're gonna accomplish. 201 00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:45,000 In fact, we got a lot of work to do. Everybody out. 202 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,300 - See you. - Hey, you guys wanna go ride bikes? 203 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,900 Not you. 204 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,800 Come on, Joe, stop messing around. Let's get to work. 205 00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,300 You're being a little intense. 206 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,400 - Oh, I'm being a little intense. - Yeah. 207 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,500 Have a seat, okay? 208 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,200 This is the first job in 20 years... 209 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,300 ...where I haven't had to wash or fold something... 210 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,400 ...or swallow something and get on a plane, okay? 211 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,800 I finally got a shot to use my brain. To use my creativity. 212 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,400 So you tell me something, all right? Am I too intense, huh? Am I? 213 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,500 Or am I an employee who cares so deeply about Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions... 214 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,900 ...that I got it tattooed on my ass? 215 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,100 - Gary Spindler? - Yes. 216 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,200 - Can I help you? - Yeah. 217 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,700 You can look me in the face and tell me I suck. 218 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,200 - Sorry, I don't know who you are. - Oh, really? 219 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:35,800 You don't wanna tell me that I suck? Okay, we'll start small then. 220 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,700 Why don't you tell me about how I pick my butt? 221 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,800 Or eat my boogers? 222 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,800 Sir, I really don't know what you're talking about. 223 00:11:43,900 --> 00:11:45,100 Seriously? 224 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,100 Do you not run the website? 225 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,200 Who's at the door, Daddy? 226 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,500 - Joey Tribbiani? - You know this man? 227 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:54,000 Yeah, he sucks. 228 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:02,700 So. Turns out the guy who hates me is an 11-year-old girl. 229 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:04,300 Really? What'd you say to her? 230 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,200 I told her she should get to know the real me. 231 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:10,000 So I took her out for the afternoon. I charmed the pants... I charmed her. 232 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,600 Hello? Oh, hey, Jimmy. 233 00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:17,500 - I'm not here. - Sorry, no, Joey's not here. 234 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,600 It's just me and my mom. 235 00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:23,600 Striped shirt and very tight skirt. 236 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,700 I'm not gonna ask her that, but if I had to guess... 237 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,400 ...she probably is good to go, yeah. 238 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,400 He guessed right, honey. 239 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,000 Gotta go, see you later. 240 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,100 - Are you avoiding Jimmy? - Yeah. 241 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,000 He is totally obsessed with this job. 242 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:40,000 We have this general get-to-know-you meeting... 243 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:43,000 ...with the studio this week and he made me sit there for hours... 244 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:45,500 ...while we came up with a 10-year plan for the company. 245 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,500 - Isn't that good? - No. It's too much. 246 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,200 He says we're gonna start with movies. 247 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,500 Then we gotta buy a cable network, and cellular towers. 248 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,000 I just want creative control over my films... 249 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,400 ...so that I can cast women with big bazoingas. 250 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,600 - Hey, guys. - Hey, what's going on? 251 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,500 Oh, I just got back from Dean's. Picking up all my stuff. 252 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,100 Oh, I'm sorry. 253 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,600 You wanna come over and watch a movie? I could use the company. 254 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,500 - Yeah, sure. Anything you need, pal. - Okay. 255 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,800 Must be hard having to be her shoulder to cry on, huh? 256 00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,800 I know. It's driving me crazy. 257 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,600 Hey Joey, I just checked the website. 258 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,000 - That girl's attacking you more than ever. - What? 259 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:26,900 Yeah, look, she's got a new audio file too. 260 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,000 I wanna kiss boys for money! 261 00:13:31,900 --> 00:13:34,400 I mean, she is a really good editor. 262 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,900 That's not an edit. That's the way I read the line. 263 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,200 Mr. Spindler, I'm the guy from the Internet. 264 00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,500 I was wondering if I could spend time alone with your daughter. 265 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,000 Kaley, Joey's here. 266 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,300 You two have a great time. I'm gonna take a walk around the block. 267 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,700 What do you want? 268 00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:04,900 I saw your website. 269 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,100 Pretty mean, Kaley. 270 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,200 Or should I say, "Kay-Lame"? 271 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,700 What are you doing? 272 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:11,900 If you think it's so cool to make fun of people... 273 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,100 ...maybe I should come down here and make fun of you. 274 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,000 Nice bedspread, Holly Hobby. 275 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,100 Yeah? Well, nice braided belt. 276 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,700 My mom gave me this. 277 00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,300 Hey, you must be Amanda. 278 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,400 So, Amanda, fart in science much? 279 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,800 - Why don't you just shut up? - You started this. 280 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,200 Why do you hate me so much anyway? 281 00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:33,700 Was my movie really that bad? 282 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,100 I never even saw your stupid movie. 283 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,200 - You didn't? - No. 284 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:40,100 But Brad did. 285 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,900 Who's Brad? 286 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,900 Only, like, your biggest fan in the world. 287 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000 He couldn't care less about me. But you... 288 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:48,400 He dresses like you. He has your poster in his locker. 289 00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:49,700 He worships you. 290 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,200 Well, tell him to get my action figure because they're not selling so good. 291 00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:58,500 Look, every time I see your face in a magazine, on a billboard... 292 00:14:58,600 --> 00:14:59,600 ...I think of him. 293 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,600 It's not enough we have to see each other every day at school. 294 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,200 And we have all the same friends. 295 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,300 Friends. That's... 296 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,100 That's all I am to him. Just another friend. 297 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:14,600 What would you say if I told you I had the same exact problem you do? 298 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,600 Yeah, right. 299 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,900 Her name's Alex, okay? She's my neighbor. 300 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,800 I am crazy about her and she just wants to be my friend. 301 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,000 - Really? - Yeah. 302 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,700 So every time the phone rings, do you hope it's gonna be her? 303 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,600 - Totally. - And do you ever forget about her... 304 00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:30,000 ...and then run into her and you're totally obsessed again? 305 00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:32,000 Oh, yeah. So I go out, have a few drinks... 306 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:36,000 ...and find a girl who looks just like her and then I... So you're 11? 307 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,300 I even made this incredible collage for him with all these pictures we were in together. 308 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,600 I gave it to him in homeroom and he just left it there. 309 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,200 Yeah. 310 00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:47,800 And a collage is like the nicest thing you can give someone. 311 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:50,800 Well, hey, if it makes you feel any better, I think Brad is an idiot. 312 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:54,100 Yeah, well, I think Alex is a jerk and I hate her for not liking you. 313 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,200 Well, thanks, Kaley. 314 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:57,500 You're actually pretty cool. 315 00:15:58,300 --> 00:15:59,900 You are too. 316 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,300 Look, I'm sorry about the stuff I put on the website. 317 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,800 That's okay. 318 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,700 Hey. 319 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,400 Who's up for pizza? 320 00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,900 I am. Yeah. 321 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,200 Joe, where the hell you been? Trent's in there. 322 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,000 - Will you relax? It's gonna be fine. - It's not gonna be fine. 323 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,200 You were supposed to meet me at 4 a. m. At Starbucks to go over ideas. 324 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:29,700 - They're not even open at 4. - I said I'd bring coffee. 325 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,500 Great, you're here. 326 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,800 - Let's begin. - Okay. 327 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,600 So. Just stopped by to say welcome aboard. 328 00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:42,500 Great, well we're just real happy to be here... 329 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,900 If you'd met me this morning... 330 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:46,700 ...you would've known that's the worst thing you could've said. 331 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,900 - Is there something you'd like to add? - Yes. 332 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,600 How would you feel... 333 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:56,200 ...if we could make this studio a cool $200 billion? 334 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,400 How would you propose to do that? 335 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:04,100 Here's the progression: Synergies, branding, marketing... 336 00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,300 ...and a democratic Iran. 337 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,500 I'm sorry, that's just a little... 338 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,500 Do you not know the word "crazy," or are you just afraid to say it? 339 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,300 So this is it? This is the power play? 340 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,300 This is where you take over Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions? 341 00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:21,400 I am Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 342 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,000 And we are supposed to make movies. Just movies, Jim. 343 00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,100 Not tanks to sell to Eastern Europe. 344 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:30,300 You know damn well the military arm isn't operational until 2012. 345 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,100 You are totally out of control. 346 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,600 And you got no vision. You got a chance to do something huge. 347 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:37,500 - Don't you want to do something huge? - No, I don't, Jim. 348 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,100 I wanna be lazy and hang out, okay? 349 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,700 I wanna waste all the studio's money... 350 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:44,300 ...on expensive lunches and ridiculous gifts. 351 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,300 I wanna squeeze this place for as much as possible... 352 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,600 ...and do as little as I can get away with. 353 00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:52,600 Hey, man, don't tell Trent about this, that guy's a real tool. 354 00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,700 Okay, another great meeting. 355 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,400 By the way, I'm Trent. 356 00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,400 What? Is everybody at the studio named Trent? 357 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:10,700 "Hollyweird," huh? They do not like Italians. 358 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,500 I don't think that was the problem. 359 00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,000 Okay, look... All right, I'm gonna cut to the chase, Jim. 360 00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,600 - I don't think this is working out. - I know. We keep clashing. 361 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:22,400 Yeah, so maybe it's time one of us left Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 362 00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,900 I guess you're right. L... 363 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:37,300 - It ain't gonna be the same without you. - Yeah... I wasn't talking about me. 364 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,900 I see. Okay. 365 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,600 Jim, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I think this is best for our friendship. 366 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:44,800 You're probably right. 367 00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:47,700 - All right. - All right. 368 00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:51,700 You mind if I get that, you know, one last time, for old times' sake? 369 00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:53,400 - Sure, yeah. - All right. 370 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,900 Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 371 00:18:58,300 --> 00:19:00,300 No, I'm sorry, we're... 372 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,400 We're not gonna be able to go there. 373 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:05,400 Go where? 374 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:06,500 Space, Joe. 375 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,500 The final frontier. 376 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000 I wanna go to space. 377 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:23,400 I know you've been feeling down lately, so I have something for you. 378 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,000 - It's a collage. - Yeah. 379 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,200 The theme is "Good Times. " 380 00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:32,600 I glued pictures of the two of us together... 381 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,700 ...in different places that I'd like to go with you. 382 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,500 Like the Grand Canyon, Paris, Venice... 383 00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:41,200 Where is this? We're standing next to a giant scented candle? 384 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,700 Yeah, I ran out of good pictures, so I had to use the Pottery Barn catalog. 385 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:49,300 Wow, us in London? That looks like fun. 386 00:19:49,300 --> 00:19:51,700 That's a really good picture of us. 387 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,100 We look really good together. 388 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,800 Well, I don't know what to say. 389 00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,700 Joey, this is really sweet. What made you think to do this? 390 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:04,900 Alex, everyone knows a collage is the nicest thing you can do for someone. 391 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,300 Well, thank you. 392 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,300 I really love it. 393 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,700 - I'll see you later. - Okay. 394 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,400 Kaley, hey, it's Joey. 395 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:28,100 Okay, I just gave it to her. I think she is starting to "like me" like me. 396 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,400 Okay, hey, so what happened with Brad in school today? 397 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,900 No way. He did not. 398 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,500 Michael, I'm on the phone. God! 31853

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