Original subtitles

Previously on "the real housewives of new york city"...

Sonja and I are doing a show.

- She wants to exploit me. - No, no.

- Pay her at least a-- - exploit you? I don't need you.

Go [bleep] yourself.

I'm excited about our new show.

- "marry, f, kill." - "marry, f, kill," baby.

It's always about the countess,

but... - Yeah.

...The countess now being a little naughty.

- [ laughs ] - you're front and center, baby.

That means you're so important to century 21.

I'm not important. When we get back from mexico,

I have a huge launch party downtown.

- This is a ramona dress. - Oh, my god. Yes!

Dorinda--you know how she gets if you talk about drinking.

She said you told her to go to aa.

Actually, I think she should go to aa.

Did you ask her about me?

She's judging you on your drinking,

and you on your-- - judging me on my drinking?

Judging me on what?

You went to jail for your drinking.

- She doesn't judge you? - No.

I looked up anger management problems.

"anger becomes a problem

"when you have trouble controlling it,

causing you to say or do things you regret."

well, of course.

What are you doing now on this?

- The invitations for the-- - just be present.

- We all have invitations. - I have to do it.

I have to go then. I have to do this.

All right, then I'm gonna do mine. I gotta do mine.

Where's this anger coming from?

- I'm not interested. - We wanna help you.

- I gotta call my daughter. - We wanna help you!

Don't you understand?!

That's nothing to help me about.

There's a problem here. We wanna help you.

It's really upsetting that you won't take it in!

♪♪♪

like a mint in my mouth, I can be a bit fresh.

♪♪♪

I'm no one's arm candy. I'm the whole bowl of sugar.

♪♪♪

so what if I'm self-involved?

Who else should I be involved with?

♪♪♪

I'll say sorry for what I've done,

but never for who I am.

♪♪♪

I rise above the drama

and won't settle for the lower level.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

the water, is, like, so cold.

You wanna use my shower? The water's hot.

All right, what are we gonna do about dorinda tonight?

'cause the other day I googled, you know,

"what causes anger"? Because when she--

our first night, she got really mad at me.

She just went off, and then she went off on, um, luann...

- Luann. - ...Major.

So you know, I like to google things.

I learn stuff from it, you know.

Google.

So this is the article I found.

It goes, "do I have anger issues?

How to identify and treat an anger outlook."

so I'm sending her this article. So I don't know--

- we're--we're brainstorming. - I did it for, like--

we're just throwing sh-- out there.

I did it as a group text for you, me, luann, and her.

Because we all are irritable at times.

[ cellphone chimes ]

[ whispers ] oh, my god.

[ gasps ] what?

When dorinda's gonna say to me,

"why did you send this group article out?"

- I'll say... - Say, "we all are reflecting."

because we're on pins and needles with you,

because we never know when you're gonna blow up,

and you blow up, and it's not good for you or for us.

What's causing it, dorinda?

[ lowered voice ] ramona.

Oh, my god. You texted dorinda on a group text.

Yeah.

You know, we gotta do something. We're all talking about it.

- I can't believe it. You-- - she has anger issues.

You sent her a whole article? Did you do that on purpose?

- Yeah, 'cause we all-- - oh, you did.

You did it on purpose?

Oh, I thought you did it by accident.

No, you know what? I'm not tiptoeing around this anymore.

Let her look at it and see that we mean--

we're serious that she has a problem.

[ cellphone chimes ] - we're concerned.

- Lock the door. - And if she wants

to talk about it, great, and if she doesn't, you know?

Oh, my god. She's, like...

[ cellphone chimes ] - what?

...Sending you--"ramona singer claims sonja morgan

is in a difficult place and struggling."

- why did you-- - now you and margaret josephs

got into a huge fight, so she's retaliating

by sending all the negative articles that she can find.

Yeah, that's what she did. If you say something--

if you say something about her,

then she'll say something about you.

- But I didn't do anything. [ cellphone chimes ]

oh, here comes another one.

Ramona just lit the fuse,

and that firecracker is gonna be a big one.

Huge mistake.

How do we handle this from now?

I shouldn't have sent it, I guess.

We could have talked to her nicely at dinner,

but now she's gonna be on a rampage.

- But you did this on purpose. - No! We're showing.

- No, I didn't. - Talk about anger issues.

She's gonna be fuming. She's already fuming.

But that's what she does if you say anything.

Well, I only did it for her to be introspective and read it

and so-- - yeah.

- Not on a group text. - No, it's just us, family.

Well, 'cause it means that we're all thinking the same thing.

- Don't you understand that? - No. Okay? I don't.

[ cellphone clatters ] - well, you should.

She has to address her issues

and not start deflecting by attacking us.

Instead of looking at her issues, say,

"wow, girls. You really think I have anger problems?

Why? Tell me what you mean."

we tell her she has anger problems,

obviously she does take in, what, are we making up sh--?

Do we just think it's fun to talk about?

No, because we are the brunt of it.

Yeah!

[ spritzing ]

but I wish you had been more personal about it

instead of sending it to the group.

Well, no, I thought she would like that better.

Because now she's mad because

now she's trying to defend herself

amongst all of us, do you see? - Well, you know what?

- I don't know. I didn't-- - you see what I mean?

Well, why didn't you come into this room earlier

and help me out?

Honey, you sent this. I was packing.

I'm leaving at 6 in the morning. I was packing my stuff.

- I think-- - what are we gonna do about it?

I don't know. You figure it out.

- Just be like-- - oh, great. Okay. Great.

I'm gonna go pack. Think about it. I'll think about it.

- It's just an article. - Yeah, you think about it,

and I'll follow your lead. - And let's regroup.

- But it's just an article. - Let's regroup.

Typical ramona. Oh, her job is done.

She's free and clear.

There isn't a broom or a dustpan big enough for this mess.

I have to pack.

- Oh, you're not ready yet? - [ laughs ]

I have to go back 'cause I have to leave at 6 in the morning.

- Are you gonna be down soon? - Yeah. You look beautiful.

- Oh, thanks. Aren't they cool? - Yeah, very cool.

You have the coolest stuff. Yeah.

Good idea.

Hey, sonja, here's these, 'cause I'm not gonna wear them.

Those are great articles, aren't they?

- [ laughs ] - you look beautiful.

- And they're only coming still. - You look beautiful.

- I have two really great ones. - You look gorgeous.

- [ chuckles ] keep it going. - You look gorgeous, darling.

- I double-dare you. - Darling, you look so gorgeous.

Rats only come out at night. She's a coward.

You want to say something to me?

Say it to me, but don't send a text.

I mean, should I keep sending the articles about anger issues?

You can do whatever you want.

I just want you to read the article.

My friend margaret, gizelle, my friend vicki? [ sighs ]

whatever you say, whatever you say.

- Wow. - Don't "diflect."

- you're "diflecting." - why? That's it.

You're "diflecting." that's very "diflecting."

first of all, first, it's called "deflecting."

- use a dictionary. - Thank you.

- I have the ramona dictionary. - Use a dictionary.

But, dorinda, I said she should send the article--

- get educated, darling. - Honey, I'm very educated.

Get educated.

You need to deal with your anger.

- Oh, god, here we go. - You need to deal

with your anger, honey. - Sophisticated women--

you need to know how to use the english language.

You attack. You attacked luann.

You made luann cry the other night.

- That's it, yeah. - You made luann cry.

She cried. Take a look in the mirror.

- Please look in the mirror. - You're amazing.

- I mean, my god. - Please look in the mirror!

- Please look in the mirror. - People use the word

"traumatized" when they meet you.

- Traumatized. Traumatized. - You--you're worse than

my father when he'd get angry. You're worse than my father.

[ imitates crying ] traumatized.

Yes, yes, you're worse than my father.

- Do your turtle tears. - That's a different issue.

- [ imitates crying ] - there's no turtle tears.

You should have been an actress.

Figure out the way your life is the way it is.

You know what? My life is great.

- Don't be jealous. - I'm not jealous.

It's okay. You can have my life.

I don't want your life.

You're jealous and you're angry.

I'm not jealous. No, I'm not angry.

It's okay. Stop being jealous, darling.

I'm not jealous. Oh, my god.

You're okay, sweetie. You'll be fine.

- I am fine. - You'll be fine!

All right, uh-huh. What's wrong with her?

Has she lost her mind? Between leah and her,

I don't know what's going on. - Your--your issue

with being rude to people has nothing to do

with her issue of anger management.

I mean, what do you expect when you send dorinda a text?

You're definitely gonna get a very defensive answer.

I mean, I couldn't stop singer, though,

'cause I wanted to see the reaction, honestly.

Oh, my god. The only thing that she--

I'm saying I'm not jealous of her.

- No, you're not jealous. - She stays home all the time.

I'm very social. I like my life.

I love my life. Maybe she's jealous of my life.

I don't think you have any jealousy.

I actually date. I have nice guy friends and girlfriends.

I'm invited to a lot of places.

She stays home all the time. She has three friends.

I don't understand--why--why are going down that avenue?

You were just trying to help her if she has some kind of anger.

I know. I think she made me poop in my pants. She got me upset.

- You did poop over there. - Yeah, I did.

Is that poop on the rug here again?

I don't know, but I think she got me upset.

I did. I-I did. I actually pooped in my robe.

Oh, I'll just pick up the poop.

Coming up...

Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

No, no, this is from, like-- no, no, no. This is, like, old.

- Try. I can have another... - No. It's bad.

♪♪♪

hi,

want a popsicle? I brought you a popsicle.

[ chuckles ]

- are you packed for tomorrow? - You bring out the girl in me.

Well, I'm kind of packed because I got interrupted

from the group text message that ramona sent.

- Yeah, it's not necessary. - Well, it just makes--

and it just puts you on defense.

- Yes, it did. - You know, and--

- okay, so let's--let's-- - you know...

Let's have the conversation.

Well, we had the conversation the other day at the beach.

I know, but I feel like I didn't get anywhere.

I didn't address your drinking. She addressed your drinking.

I know, but I don't need you to be the messenger.

And I--of course not. You were standing there,

and I said I was gonna go and talk to her.

- Yeah. - And then you asked me

what happened, and I literally told you the story,

and then you attacked me. - No, then you made a comment.

- No! - Ah, well, you did.

I didn't even bring up your drinking

is what you're not taking away from this,

and I just want you to listen to me.

- Okay. - I just want you to listen,

because I love you,

and I want everything to be cool with the girls. That's it.

I don't need to be cool with the girls.

- Well, you know what? - All I do--all I do--

all I do is give and give, like the house in the berkshires.

You're a giver. Of course, and we love you.

I get the--anything-- any contact I need--

we love you. You're a giver. You have the biggest heart.

- We love you. - My closet's an open door.

And then you guys focus on one thing,

and I think it's wrong.

I don't find this conversation comfortable,

because it has to be a monologue only about me

with zero history about luann.

She just landed from mars in a beautiful cabaret jovani gown,

and nothing precedes that.

It doesn't work like that.

I've watched cnn.

You can be angry at people without...

- Okay. - ...Getting--going crazy

on them. - I'm--I'm not--

- and I'm not saying-- - can I tell you something?

- Tell you-- - no, I wanna end this.

- Don't say--don't do this. - I wanna end this. I will.

- Don't do this. - I--listen. Can I tell you--

'cause we're friends.

Okay, I'm gonna get it for you.

- But I want you-- - I'm gonna end it for you.

We--I--I will not sit here and listen to this.

- It's-- - because I think

it's ridiculous after everything that I've done...

- Dorinda, you told-- - ...With you, for you.

I think it's ridiculous. You don't need to talk about--

can I just give you one example?

No. I've forgiven you

because I love you more than the minutia.

And I'm not gonna sit here

and have you or anyone talk about minutia.

- This is not about minutia. - It is.

This is about people's feelings and being--

I-I know, and I--my feelings have been horribly hurt,

horribly, and I let it go. - But what about mine?

We both have, and we resolved it,

and we got through it because we love each other,

and you move forward,

and if you live in the past, you go nowhere.

I don't live in the past, my love.

Well, then that's how I feel. So right now--

right now... - But--but--but you've got--

...We either make a decision, or I refuse to talk about it.

I know who I am. I love who I am.

- You know who you are-- - I love you who you are, too,

but I don't like it when you're ----ing angry.

I'm great. I'm good. Thank you so much,

and if you wanna be friends with me...

- Don't do that. - ...That's great.

- If you don't, that's okay. - I do, because I love you.

- No. I love you, too. - But I just want you to listen

and say, "you know what? Maybe--maybe that is--"

- shh. Shh. - This is so gorgeous.

- Hey. How you doing? Isn't it? - Oh, my god. This is amazing.

Wait till you see what I have coming.

- Another--another trip, right? - Look at these pants, too.

I know. Aren't they great? I got them in london.

I'm so glad I decided to dress casual.

You look beautiful.

Can we just talk about this one thing?

- Yeah. - Just one thing.

- For me... - Yeah.

...Personally. I don't give a [bleep] about them. Okay?

- I give a [bleep] about us. - Okay, fine.

Leah was there when I came up.

I talked to ramona when she said, "you should go--"

oh, we're going backwards again, okay.

No, no, I just want to be clear.

All right. Just say it. Just get it out.

- So you can do it. - So when I came up here,

I didn't talk about your drinking.

- I didn't. Ramona did. - Okay.

I got it. Thank you for that. I appreciate it.

But why aren't you listening to me?

- I'm listening. - No, you're not.

You said you didn't talk about her drinking,

and I hear you. What do you want me to say about it?

You're pushing me away, and I wish you would just--

that, you know, I think that night

ramona said something to her that was very rude.

- I don't disagree. - Yeah.

- And it spilled over. - But I got the brunt of it.

- And it spilled over. - And we talked about it.

And we said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." we moved on.

No, you didn't. You made it about you and how I hurt you.

So can we move on now? I'm sorry. Can we me on?

- Can you just-- - yeah. I'm sorry again.

You're not, not like, you know, oh.

- Okay, I'm sorry. - Oh, but no, really.

- But that's not really. - Yes, we are.

- Luann was hurt. - Yeah.

- No, but that's not real. - I said I'm sorry.

- What do you want me to do? - She said sorry.

I do agree that dorinda came for luann,

and I get that luann's upset,

but she's just dragging it on way too long.

Dorinda has said sorry,

and even if it's not probably a truthful sorry,

let's just move on and eat dinner.

Luann and I do so much for each other.

We have a deep friendship.

This is--the minutia is not-- and semantics, I understand.

No, but I want to--I want--

I mean, I could go and on, too, and bring back stuff

and duh-duh, and I'm hurt about this.

You know, what's important to me is you and I.

I just said I'm sorry. I love you. Can we just go forward?

Well, that's what's important to me.

- Yes, exactly. - No, but really.

- You guys are good. - Yeah, we're good.

I can't help dorinda right now

because she really has to help herself first.

I can't do that for her.

Luann, is this for you?

And it's so frustrating because I want to.

I wanna fix her. I wanna make it right.

- Are we sitting down now? - Yeah, let's sit down.

So is there any special seating arrangements?

- No. - Where should we sit?

Where do you wanna sit? You're the hostess.

Any--anywhere.

Why don't you sit in the middle?

- All right, perfect. - Sit on those two.

Let me explain what we have served tonight.

This is a special mexican fiesta we're making for you.

We love it.

So we brought some mexican antojitos.

We have mushroom sopes.

It's made with corn, beans, and mushrooms on top.

- We have chicken tostadas. - Looks amazing.

And, uh, we have shrimps with chipotle sauce.

- Okay. - You've been amazing.

- Thank you so much. - [ mouth full ] thank you.

We have regretted being out today.

- Oh, I know. - ...This food

and everything that you have in the kitchen.

- It's my pleasure. - You have served us

the best food ever. - You want spicy, spicy?

And I never like to eat so much, and I ate so much.

What I love about ramona

is she's all talk behind closed doors.

But boy, oh, boy, you shine a light on her,

and she's on the "thank you" tour.

"thank you for lunch and thank you for my cutlery,

"thank you for my napkins, thank you for the sky,

thank you for the moon, thank you, thank you, thank you"

just to avoid me.

We have a really busy week next week. We have--

- oh, my god. We do. - We have a lot of parties.

- Are you all ready? - Not really.

We're having a party, not just dorinda and ramona.

I mean, this is gonna be a party.

Let me ask you something about your company.

I was thinking about, does your company have, like,

partners and stuff?

I've had partners, but I don't now.

You would like this one as cold or I'm getting the other one?

- I like it room temperature. - Okay.

I prefer my red wine room temperature.

And did you come from a fashion background?

No, and then you can just leave the bottle over here.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, this is from, like--

- you didn't open-- - [ speaks indistinctly ]

no, no, no. This is, like, old.

I don't want this.

- What's it called--being mob... - Married to mob.

- Married to mob. - And I was like,

I'm gonna just start my own brand,

and rob had the brand.

No, it's bad.

The niceties end real quick.

She's sh--ting on the help about the wine's too old.

Oh, okay. I'll have the 1963 pertrus,

and you can have the 2020 pinot grigio.

Stick to what you know.

I didn't mean to make you crazy.

No worries. Would you like to take a sip first?

But why is it cold?

- Is there any-- - ramona.

- Just drink the wine. - No, leave me alone.

It's $60. It's not $600. Calm down.

There's so much bullsh-- going around this table,

I can't even see. - Yeah. Exactly. Let me put

my bullsh-- hat off and go sh-- in the toilet.

Now we get here, and it's like, "ooh, ooh."

table wine is $5.

[ mocking voice ] oh, it's so nice. I am so happy.

Everything's so great.

- You do like to complain. - Yes, I hear you--

- complain? - You like attention.

She caused chaos in the house tonight.

No, she likes attention, I guess.

- Didn't she? - Wait, you caused chaos

in the house tonight? What? What? What the hell did I--

oh, you weren't on-- you weren't on--

- you weren't on the group text. - Oh, you weren't there?

I don't even know what the hell you guys are talking about.

- I'll tell you. - You were left out of it.

Do you really wanna know? I mean...

- Hell, yeah, I wanna know. - No, but it's like...

- You know, I sent-- - come on.

- What'd you do? - Come on. Come on.

It depends on what you're dealing with.

Let's get through it, because this is bullsh--.

Why wasn't I on the text message?

♪♪♪

en know what the hell - I'll tell you. Y- you were left out of it.

- Do you really wanna know? - Hell, yeah, I wanna know,

but it's like, you know, come on.

I sent--I...

- Come on. - Why didn't you include me

on the text message? - What I did was...

You know what? Let's get through it.

Why wasn't I on the text message?

- Because this is bullsh--. - Okay, really?

Because it's about the three of us.

- No, it wasn't. She's involved. - It's not about you.

You don't leave her out. You don't leave people out.

- It's a growth moment. - That's mean.

- No, I agree, but-- - I didn't mean to be mean.

- You feel left out? - That's mean to her.

And you do that toward leah a lot.

Can I see this frickin' text message?

Okay, I'll show it to you, but I mean, she probably

thought you didn't really wanna see this.

Okay, here's where it started, babe.

- All right. - We didn't wanna make

a mountain out of molehill. - "7:15 p.M."

- wait. - Yeah.

Anger--maybe she felt that if I was on the text...

- You'd laugh. - ...I'd think it was about me.

She left me out of the text, which to me says,

"I actually don't really give a sh-- about you

"or where our friendship is,

and I don't care if I offend you or not."

dorinda then sends an article...

- Four. - No, not four.

[ laughter ] - five.

- Five articles. - Listen.

- Five articles. [ laughs ] - it came in two seconds.

And that was only the tip of the iceberg.

All you have to do is google "ramona singer"

and start forwarding. - You never show your anger.

Do you think--do you think dorinda has anger issues?

I love dorinda.

You have helped me through some of my darkest moments.

- Okay. Here we go. Nice. - And then I just...

[ laughter ] - and then--and then...

I mean, you're the one that's--

- okay? - You said that.

And then you get so angry at me.

No, but it's terrible.

And I feel like I'm on pins and needles.

- That's terrible. - And I don't know what to do.

- You do? - I know. It's terrible.

- You're on pins and needles? - Sometimes.

I'm being left to hang to dry by my girls,

who also feel the same about dorinda.

They don't have the balls to help me out on this situation.

Why am I always stuck with the one that has the mouth?

Why? Why me? 'cause I have the guts, that's why.

So much pins and needles in the berkshires and everywhere.

- We're on pins and needles. - I know. It's so fake.

- Go ahead. - So fake?

- It's fake? - It is so fake.

You're freaking me out right now.

So it's fake when she made you upset and I left with you?

No, that wasn't fake. I talked to her about it.

- The real. The real deal. - Real.

- Not this bullsh--. - Like a real person.

You know, you rip her a new one.

You guys rip each other a new one,

and you come to dinner like nothing ever happened.

- Well, it's like... - It's the most bizarre thing

to me in the world, 'cause it-- - it's like living at home

with my dad and mom. - Well, it's fake.

I can stand a lot of things about ramona,

but the fake and phony-- I-I can't deal with that.

You just dropped a bomb, and now you're gonna sit down

like nothing ever happened?

The fire's still smoldering,

and we're just sitting there as if we don't see the smoke.

- What do you want me to do, lu? - Nothing.

- What do you want me to do? - I want you to be real.

I am real, as real as I can be.

- Be real. - We're being the same.

You're the one who said she was crying.

So you dealt with her. Fine.

I did, because we are real friends.

- We talk about real-- - and we're fine.

We talked in the bedroom. We're fine. We're fine.

Ramona, you didn't change your tune.

I saw you storm out of the bedroom, but okay, fine.

- That's how we fight. - Yeah, that's true.

- Great. I'm delighted. - That's how we fight.

How many times has ramona said, "you're angry.

You're angry"? You're right. You win, ramona.

But did you have to pile on?

Did I do that to you when you went through

so many terrible times? Well done, ramona.

You did a great job by being a horrible person.

- You know what? I love dorinda. - You don't change your tune.

I made my peace with her. Life's too ----ing short.

Of course I love dorinda.

But right now I don't like who she is.

I actually almost hate who she is,

but you know what? I can't help her.

Dorinda just doesn't wanna get it.

I give up. I give up! I cry uncle.

Hannah said to me the other day, "I know you say

"you're saying to me verbally it's okay,

"but are you really okay? Because your first thing

is to always say, 'it's okay,'" - that's what I just said.

"but what are you really feeling?

'cause I never want you to feel abandoned or left behind, mom."

what I just said. We're also there for you,

and I think you always put on a brave face.

You take care of her. You take care of me.

You shut her sh-- down when she was attacking her.

And then of course you're gonna have a short fuse,

'cause you're like, "aah!"

you know? You have to think about you

and let us know how you're feeling, too.

I have been on the other end of the wrath of dorinda.

You know what? Why don't you stop

getting vaginal rejuvenation and put an e-zpass

on that vagina with your holland tunnel?

- You're not dating rocco. - Oh, okay.

- Let her--let her-- - liar, liar, ho on fire.

Don't you dare compare your ----ing marriage...

- ...My husband. - ...To me burying my husband!

- Oh, okay. - Okay, because you were

----ing around in the south of France!

And I've always understood. She's going through pain,

and rather than feel it herself, she's projecting it.

If you don't get that, you're an imbecile.

Just like your daughter said, "please, mom..."

- thank you, sonja. - "don't put on a straight face

all the time and be brave."

sonja's like, always the voice of reason at the end of the day.

Don't be so brave. Don't be so brave all the time,

'cause otherwise you're gonna get frustrated

and put us, like, a what, to the guillotine.

Well, we've all been there for each other.

- That's true. - We have been.

- You know what? - Let's toast to that.

But don't-- but please let us know.

Here's to the good, the bad, and the...

- Ugly. - ...Ugly.

- And the articles. - And the ugly.

And the article from ramona.

Please don't talk about renewal.

- Oh! Renewal. - No, I said

we're re-finding ourselves. - Oh, oh, okay, great.

- No, we are. - I heard an "r" come out,

and I was like, oh, come on. - No, re-finding.

We're not going there, are we?

♪♪♪

one...

Two...

Three.

I wanna zip this this time so when I open it,

everything doesn't come tumbling out.

Oh, and thanks for these sandals.

Yeah, those are my good sandals.

Yeah, I love those.

- So luann left already, right? - Yeah, she had to go to her--

I think she threw me under the bus yesterday.

She threw you right under the bus.

She goes, "you're singing a different tune."

no, luann, you're singing a different tune.

Well, I like the fact that you brought up

everything that we had discussed...

- Yeah, the plan. - ...About dorinda's life

and why we think she's so upset...

- Right. - ...And has all this anger.

You did it in such a diplomatic way.

I get a little hysterical, I admit.

- Right. - I get flustered.

My intentions are good, but my delivery sucks.

Yeah, that's why we needed lu to do something.

Yes, to help me out, help us out.

She's usually on the fence, lu.

I thought she could pull this off this time.

Luann doesn't wanna do anything to upset dorinda

'cause she wants all those perks that dorinda has to give her.

Dorinda got her jovani, and dorinda has a lot

of other perks that could come luann's way.

- Do you have your passport? - Yep.

- Good. - All right, let's go.

Is timing still good?

Cesar! Goodbye!

- Bye-bye. - Oh.

It's not a barn, sonja. We should close the door.

- It's not a barn. - I didn't know.

Normally, I'm followed by a bunch of people.

Coming up...

Get your ass over here, girl. We had this rehearsal today.

Did you forget?

You never told me about this rehearsal.

[ horn honks ]

don't start without me.

- [ singsongy ] hi. - Hi, honey.

- How's it going? - How are you? Mwah.

- [ singsongy ] good to see you. - Hi, evan.

- What's going on? - Good to see you. Not much.

[ gasps ] oh, my god. Here they are!

These look awesome.

We need to talk about what blanks these are on,

because leslie and I did just have a meeting

with fruit of the loom and jerzees...

- Uh-huh. - ...And russell athletic,

and they really wanna work with us.

Actually, these are jerseys.

- Oh, they are? Okay. - Yeah.

There was a fit model that was supposed to come,

but I don't know if she's showing up because she parties.

I mean, you're a fit...Model.

I can put it on. I mean, I can definitely try it on.

Yeah.

I may not have an mba, but I am a smart ----ing cookie.

I sued the cops because they knocked my teeth out.

- Wow. - Yeah.

I won $75,000, and then I started my own business

with the money. - [ laughs ] oh, my god.

Good for you.

I knew I had to make it count.

On this, I wanna change this to something else.

There were times where I thought I was gonna have, like,

a pink private jet.

This design is so cool. It's so abstract.

I thought the company was gonna be doing

a billion dollars a year, and I've done very well,

but you know, there were times I had to adjust my expectations.

I'm not crazy about the, um...

- The long strings? - Yeah.

Yeah. It's covering too much.

Whatever we do, this needs to be so perfect.

- Yeah. - Because at this point,

this is my, like, 15-year collection

that I feel like is indicative of who I am

and where I'm at in my life right at this moment

versus, like, everything I've been doing up until now.

It's a little different than what you've done up until now.

It has been. It is different, you know?

It's a little more serious. Yeah.

And it's--and it's also being sold online only.

It's not selling at any department stores.

- Right. - This is, like, the beginning

of, like, a new chapter of mob.

I don't think people understand how hard it is

to keep a company in business

and keep it relevant for 15 years.

Cool doesn't pay the bills all the time,

you know what I mean? It is about expanding.

I feel like sky's the limit for mob right now.

When do we wanna do a photo shoot?

Like, as soon as possible.

- Yeah - yes.

- Done. - Awesome.

- [ laughs ] - sick.

♪♪♪

hi, ramona, welcome back. Good to see you.

Come on in.

After the summer when I came back to the city,

I just felt very unsettled, and I realized

I have to go back to therapy.

- Welcome back. - Thank you. It's been a while.

Indeed, it has been.

Something just wasn't sitting right

within my heart and my soul.

I was feeling really bad.

[ crying ] but I want a man to hold me,

to love me, to want me, to be with me,

and I don't know if I'll ever find it again.

- You will find it. - And I don't like feeling bad.

A lot's been going on.

The good news is, is that I really have come full circle,

because when I saw you last time,

I was kind of, uh, not in my right mojo.

If you could sort of summarize what it is

that brings you in.

I'm single.

Meeting men has never been a problem.

I don't know. I just can't connect,

or I just--maybe I don't-- maybe I don't wanna connect.

Maybe I got so hurt from my ex-husband,

I'm sabotaging myself.

So maybe we can work on that self-sabotage.

You know, I've had time to reflect

on the things we spoke about, and I started taking some notes

the month after I saw you, how I--am I sabotaging myself

'cause I'm breaking dates? And I wrote this.

Like, I canceled the second date this Sunday. Why?

Because I was having too much fun with my friends.

Sure.

It wasn't that important to me.

Some of my girlfriends have pointed out to me--

they said, "you know, ramona, like, sometimes

when you're with a guy, you act very coquettish, flirty."

I just start, you know, sitting different,

and you know...

[ indistinct conversations ]

[ laughter ]

[ indistinct conversations ]

that just works on me.

Dad's going to be 80 March 1st.

- I love this story. - Mom's 75.

You see you're pretty flexible, which is excellent.

- Yes, I'm very flexible. - Yeah. [ laughs ]

would you say that that's a different version of yourself,

or would you say that that's genuine?

It's just a different version of myself,

but it's not really genuine, 'cause I have more substance

than just this sensual body, and I think I am very sensual.

But there's so much more to me. I'm really warm, and I'm caring,

and I'm down to earth, and I'm self-made,

and I'm a giver, and I have the warmest heart.

And that's not coming through when you just do all that,

like, you know... - Right.

Like, you know, coquettish stuff.

I want someone to like me for me and not because I'm playing

some kind of game, whether it's a sexual game,

or I'm very demure and quiet,

'cause the last thing I am is demure and quiet.

So I might as well be myself, and I'm finding I'm having

much more successful dating experiences,

and I'm bonding much more. - More of that--

you're being yourself. - Yeah.

And then I went on a blind date with another gentleman,

and he's never been married, no kids,

but I actually had a great time with him.

And I think again, 'cause I was just being myself,

what made you agree to go on it?

Because this woman-- she knows me.

She said, "listen, I think he's a top-rate guy,

and I just--just go out," and I just--

I did. I had the best time with him.

- You look happy. - Thanks.

- You seem happy. - Well, you look happy, too.

Well, there's a lot to be happy about.

All right, so we're both happy.

- We both are happy. - [ laughs ]

we like oysters, and we have some common ground here.

- Do you drink alcohol or no? - I do.

Oh, good.

I've always had an attitude with women,

but not really with men, so I'm trying to be

the way I am with a man the way I am with my girlfriends.

I have a different attitude now.

So how do you feel like you might be able to continue

this forward momentum?

I'm just gonna continue working on my friendships.

Mm-hmm. Good.

Like, I'm realizing I don't need a man. I want a man.

- Sure. - But I don't need one,

and I'm really comfortable with myself.

Now I really, really, like, love myself. I do.

I guess I would say keep doing what you're doing,

because it seems like you're in a good spot.

- Okay, I can take my bill now. - [ laughs ]

[ laughs ] I'm done.

Coming up...

Believe me, that damn toaster oven,

if I could poop that thing out right now, I would.

[ laughter ] - I mean, it's just so--

- you love the toaster oven. - I still want the toaster oven.

- He loves the toaster oven. - Okay.

♪♪♪

- [ singsongy ] hello! - Hi!

- Hi. - Hi.

- Welcome to your workshop. - Hi, my darling.

- Mwah. - This is fab.

- Okay, now I can breathe... - Now you're here.

- ...And enjoy and... - Nice, safe.

...Wait for sonja because I can't reach her.

Oy, vey. It's okay.

She's, like, nowhere for the moment, so...

Well, it just gives us more time to do it ourselves.

- Exactly. - Make it all--make it nice.

You look so calm. Give me some of your juju.

[ laughter ]

I love traveling with the girls, but it's so great

to be back in new york and getting back

into doing my show because it's just grounding for me.

It just feeds my soul.

- How we doing? - We're doing good.

- This is a great space. - Yeah.

We should almost do our thing here.

We are. They said they can do the risers in this room.

Doing like a little preview for friends.

Yeah, next week.

It would be nice if today was the wrap on sonja

so she can just show up Tuesday next week

and just do her thing, right? - Right.

- Have her lines, hopefully. - Yeah.

Right, and then we do this bit.

"ladies and gentlemen, sonja morgan.

Come on up here. Andy, can you bring sonja the microphone?"

oh. Thank you.

And that's just, like, before the very end

where she actually then comes down and plays the game,

"marry, f, kill." - okay, so, we need--

"anything else I can get you, madame morgan or sonja-rita?"

- let's do that. - Yeah, sonja-rita.

- Sonja-rita. - Love that.

All right. So I have to call sonja.

She was so excited for this.

I don't know where the heck she is.

[ line rings ]

[ chimes ]

hi. Hold on.

- We both have our glasses on. - Of course.

But you're in a bathrobe, and I'm not.

Well, okay--

get your ass over here, girl. [ chuckles ]

I know, my love, I'm super excited,

but we had this rehearsal today. Did you forget?

- You must-- - darling. Darling.

Of course we talked about it, and I--and I told you.

I really don't know what I'm missing today

except maybe the memo.

And by the way, today is the day of my launch at century 21,

one of the biggest events in my career,

so maybe luann didn't get that memo.

You were super excited about it.

We're running through the lines--

listen, that's fine. It's not impromptu.

It is a rehearsed show. Look, there's a script.

Typical sonja. I mean, she wants to be paid more,

but she doesn't show up for rehearsal

because she's off the cuff. Well, okay, great. I mean...

I'm working on the script with them.

- Fine. - And then I'll call you,

and we'll figure it out, and I'm gonna make it short and sweet.

Well, listen, I'll see you tonight.

Ah!

I wish I could.

I've got my fire island house wintertime reunion.

- Ooh! [ laughs ] - but, sonja--

that's a party that we need to go to.

[ laughter ]

♪♪♪

[ knock on door]

- hello, darling. - Hi.

- How are ya, honey? - Good.

Really good. I'll take my shoes off.

I know you wanna keep your carpet nice and clean.

- I do. - Kier was so cute.

She came back to the religion class tonight.

- Yeah. I miss her. - And she's--

and she seemed like she liked it.

My mom teaches kiki religion class.

My mom also sleeps at my house on Tuesday nights,

so my mother thinks maybe kiki is going to fulfill

whatever I did not for her.

Want me to open it?

No. I thought you were gonna start picking at it, and so--

no. Oh, my god. Chill, woman.

- I'm helping you. - Okay, thank you.

- Here. - I appreciate it.

She did fine. Rob got her, and then I'm here.

Me and kiki have the kind of relationship

where I know I'm gonna like my daughter.

I mean, mom's literally told me on the phone, like,

"I don't like leah."

she goes, "I don't really like you either,

but you try, at least."

like, she doesn't like us.

Are you ----ing kidding me?

So I'm still really pissed off about that.

Do you have a lot of business

with the married to the mob right now?

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, the party.

- Yeah, the party. - What day of the week is it?

- Monday. - It's a Wednesday.

Oh. It's a Wednesday? Oh, good. I'll be in.

Oh, perfect. Good.

So I went to the bathhouse with sarah the other day.

I was telling her how I,

even though our relationship is really good

and definitely a lot better than it used to be,

I still think it could-- - who?

- You and she or you and me? - I was--me and you.

- Oh. - I was telling her this.

- You know? - Okay.

That I think it can improve,

and she was, like, discouraging me

and was like, "mom said she doesn't even like you."

- [ chuckles ] - what?

- I don't like you? - Yeah. Did you say that to her?

I don't know. Maybe. I might have said it.

- I mean, that's mean, mom. - Well, yeah.

On a day, I might not like you.

On another day, I might not like sarah.

- But... - That doesn't mean

I don't love you, I don't care about you.

On a day, I might not like you. The one thing I don't like,

and I'll say it till the day I die--your drinking.

Oh, my god, mom.

So if you want me to change my thoughts on that, I won't.

You know, I do--I still carry around a lot of guilt

for everything that happened when I was a teenager.

I do, mom. I really do.

[ voice breaking ] and sometimes I just feel like I can't, like,

let go of, like, the ----ing teenager.

Like, I just still feel like that's who I am.

- Do you know what I mean? - But you're not.

- But you're not. I mean, god. - I know, but it's like...

I know. I know. I know.

You got sober. You had a baby. You have a business.

I mean, you did fine. You did fine.

But I think that when you think

I'm judgy about the drinking and all,

I wouldn't wanna see you lose

what you have worked so hard for.

- It's not gonna happen, mom. - Hmm.

- It's not. - I do feel like you

really, really, really

have to be honest with yourself about that,

'cause I don't see it enhancing your life. I just don't.

And I don't know that kier would like that, either.

But, mom, I have been drinking, and it's not affecting her or us

or anything like that.

And if it does, I am gonna be honest about it. I am.

Good.

My mom--she's like an irish catholic therapist.

I mean, I'm her worst nightmare. [ laughs ]

she hasn't had a drink in 40 years,

so she definitely feels like she can speak on the subject

and maybe thinks she has a little authority.

All right, well, I feel like I just need to hear you...

- What I have... [ chuckles ] - ...Say...

- Leah. - No, you have to hug...

Leah, you're wonderful. I love you.

I love you every minute of the day.

And you're proud of me.

And I'm proud of you, but I'm always--

I mean, what--what is this that I every minute

have to be saying--

can you finish eating your rice cake? [ laughs ]

every minute I have to be telling people,

"I'm proud of you. I love you"?

I need that. Are you kidding me, mom? I need that.

I guess I don't think I have to say that

as much as you wanna hear it.

Things will never be perfect,

because as my daughter tells me,

perfect doesn't exist.

My relationship with my mother is a challenging one,

but I also have to accept that, like, things are not

necessarily gonna be the way I want them to.

- I'm glad that we are... - All right, darling,

[ kisses ] I love you. - I love you, too.

[ patting back ]

and don't share everything with sarah.

[ laughs ]

- go back and bad-mouth me. - I don't, mom.

Coming up...

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually humbled.

- It's not just retail-- [ cellphone ringing ]

- stop. Here. [ ring ]

she doesn't even know how to use her phone--ramona.

[ horns honking ]

♪♪♪

hi.

- I'm leah. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, leah.

- Hi. - Hi.

Leah. Nice to meet you.

- I feel like we've met. - We met. I mean, that was...

- We did, right? - What do you make?

- Married to the mob. - You're killing it right now.

I'm wearing sonja by sonja morgan, actually.

- Oh, wait. We have that dress. - I had to represent.

From day one, I have wanted to rep

sonja by sonja morgan properly.

The first time, I wasn't able to do it,

because I did get sent pajamas and a pimp hat.

- Wait, what? - I was supposed to wear this.

Now I can finally do it properly in a dress that's much more me

and much more appropriate.

Right now I'm gonna keep this on. I think I'm a little cool.

Well, it's a sonja morgan dress.

Thank you.

♪♪♪

- hi. - You look beautiful.

- Oh, my god. - Right?

Ramona, this body is just another level.

- Well, hello! You inspired me. - Where is the lady?

- She's not here. - No.

No, so let's talk. Let's bullsh-- by the flowers.

Come on. She's not here. [ laughs ]

- hi. - Hey, you.

- Hi! - How are you?

- How are ya? - I'm good. Yeah.

- How's it going? - Just waiting for sonja.

- I know. - I know...

Yeah, 'cause she said she's too busy...

Is she doing the show with her or not? She tells me no.

- I don't know. - Who's excited?

- Whoa! - Yeah. [ laughs ]

[ singsongy ] sashay, sashay.

♪ sonja in the city ♪

- oh, my god. Look at the sign. - Hi.

Oh, here comes sonja.

- Sonja-rita! - Hey!

[ cheering ]

if anyone ever doubted me before,

I mean, I've been talking about

a perfume and jewelry and fashion

and a toaster oven and ha ha ha.

Oh, my god. Here is the machine.

- Wow. [ chuckles ] - whoo!

It's hard to keep it all together.

I mean, it's a lifestyle.

Don't rush the second set. They could sit there for a minute.

I think you should get up there and put some clothes

on the model. - Oh, no.

You are coming out with a brand called tipsy girl.

When a brand rides on the coattails of another brand,

they're called a cheater brand. - I don't believe that.

I don't have to be right, and I never say, "I told you so,"

but it still feels good.

It's what I promised, and I'm delivering.

Hi! Phillip.

Darling. Mwah.

How are things at calvin klein?

- Amazing, amazing. - He's a calvin klein executive.

- Hi, guys. - Pleasure to meet you.

Hi, honey. You look stunning.

I'm pretty sure we have calvin klein here.

- You look stunning. - My number one vendor.

Ramona! Wow, you look so gorgeous.

- I look so sonja morg-y. - Oh, dorinda!

- [ singsongy ] sonja morgan! - Right? Look!

Holy moly, you guys look amazing.

Guys, look at this! She's wearing sonja morgan, too.

- It looks amazing. - Thank you. You look beautiful.

In here, it looks-- it looks so beautiful in here.

I needed you to help me with this.

No, you didn't, because it looks perfect.

Luann! Let's take a picture.

Yes.

- You look gorgeous. - Well, thank you.

- I'm heather from century 21. - Oh, hi. How are you?

So nice to meet you. Let me get you guys--

no, you have-- go take one now.

- You wanna go--wanna go now? - I'm gonna pop out. Yeah.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

I'm not gonna not show up for my girlfriend sonja

like she didn't show up for me at rehearsal.

That's not the kind of girl I am.

Ice to the top, then club soda, pellegrino,

and then, like, the mint.

Okay, this is my new signature drink.

This is what I call--

in the hamptons, they call it "the ramona."

so what's going on?

We're waiting for sonja to do a speech.

We're kind of waiting for this speech.

I heard she didn't show up for a workshop today.

No, she didn't. [ chuckles ]

by sonja not showing up to rehearsal,t rember,

but we had a whole plan in place,

and she knew exactly about today and rehearsal.

I think she's crazed by today.

I think it would have been so hard to do it today.

You know what? It worked out so well, because guess what?

We went through the whole script and we got a lot done.

[ sipping ]

I think my straw's not working. So I...

- Yeah, the straws-- - I got some more straws.

- Oh, you brought-- - yeah.

This guy is following me around with food.

So it was good because, you know, if sonja was there,

she would've been like, rawr! You know?

- Yeah. - What's actually going on?

- Yeah. What it is-- - 'cause we don't have

any invite or anything.

It's a presentation, which is gonna be next Tuesday.

Well, I'm not here. I'm having this taken out.

What exactly is this?

I have a nerve that's feeding this fluid into a sac,

and I don't have movement in my hand anymore.

I mean, that's your hand. You need to be there--

well, listen, it's a presentation of the show.

If you're doing this, then you're doing this.

It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it.

[ sipping ]

- speech, speech, speech! - Yay!

- Speech, speech. - Okay, let's go. Do it now.

- Sonja! - Sonja...

- Sonja, here. Wait a second. - Welcome, everybody.

Century 21 is very, very proud to do this collaboration

with sonja morgan.

[ cheers and applause ]

we love the styling. We love the fashion.

- Thank you, sonja. We love you. - [ cheering ]

- oh, yeah. - Yeah, sonja!

[ applause ]

so I just wanna say I never thought I'd say this,

but I'm actually humbled.

- It's not just retail-- [ cellphone ringing ]

- oh, stop. Yeah. [ ring ]

[ ringing continues ]

she doesn't even know how to use her phone--ramona, okay?

- "sorry. I can't talk now." - it does ring.

- Ring-a-ding-ding. - "sorry. I can't talk now."

I know. You've got a hot date tonight, I know,

but they're just friends. They're just friends.

- ...So I don't talk. - Just a friend. Just a friend.

Corner table. Truffles up there.

- The chicken's ass. - What is going on?

So anyhow, it's been a long haul.

You believed in me, and you believe in me.

And now let me mention my family--

dorinda, luann, ramona,

who have been with me every step of the way,

and believe me, that damn toaster oven,

if I could poop that thing out right now, I would.

[ laughter ] - I mean, it's been so--

I still want that toaster oven.

- You loved the toaster oven. - I still want the toaster oven.

- She loves the toaster oven. - Okay--

I use it in the berkshires.

Maybe papa isaac will do the toaster oven.

She's glowing tonight.

There's something different about sonja tonight

that I've never seen before.

There's this twinkle in her eyes.

I'm just--I'm very happy for her.

And leah, my new girlfriend, who's my muse.

We're born in new york.

[ singsongy ] we've come a long way since the fashion show!

- We have. Yes, we have. - Next fashion show...

I love that.

I'm just hoping so much it turns out

to something bigger and better.

I hope she treats it and focuses on it

and really brings it to fruition,

which means money. Paycheck.

[ cheering ]

that's family!

Next time on "the real housewives of new york city"...

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

[ laughter ]

[ glasses clink ] - we got a nice speech.

We don't have to reunite.

I would like to say... All right, so--

but, babe, it's my party. Don't take over the party.

- Yay! Here's to leah. - Thank you.

Here's to married to the mob, babe.

You're definitely married to the mob now.

[ laughs ]

I was actually warned about elyse,

that she's not a girl's girl.

I never cozied up to her.

You know what? She's just not a good person.

She's not a girl's girl.

I don't know who you are.

Are you serious? You're gonna ----ing walk away

like you don't know who I am? - You know what?

Hold on! Ramona, don't leave, please.

- [bleep]. - Ramona, please stay!

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