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1
00:00:02,398 --> 00:00:04,906
- I'm dropping her off early.
- I didn't even say hello.
2
00:00:04,977 --> 00:00:06,042
I heard your mouth open.
3
00:00:06,111 --> 00:00:07,377
We're ahead of schedule.
4
00:00:07,446 --> 00:00:09,609
How can you be ahead of schedule
on a day at the aquarium?
5
00:00:09,681 --> 00:00:11,281
Well, the fish weren't bringing it.
6
00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:13,650
We've already seen you swim.
7
00:00:13,752 --> 00:00:15,352
Do something else.
8
00:00:16,355 --> 00:00:17,654
All right, we're done here.
9
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,089
Can't you drop off Graham first?
10
00:00:19,157 --> 00:00:21,024
I drop off in alphabetical order.
11
00:00:21,126 --> 00:00:23,093
"Cooper" comes before "D'Amato."
12
00:00:23,195 --> 00:00:24,527
My last name is Banks.
13
00:00:24,596 --> 00:00:26,367
Well, you can't drop off Sophie yet
14
00:00:26,422 --> 00:00:28,422
because I... haven't had time...
15
00:00:28,491 --> 00:00:29,790
to water the plants!
16
00:00:29,892 --> 00:00:32,026
And I can't water the plants
when Sophie's here.
17
00:00:32,095 --> 00:00:32,994
So, figure it out!
18
00:00:33,096 --> 00:00:34,695
Goodbye.
19
00:00:34,764 --> 00:00:36,731
I fooled him. For an hour or two.
20
00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:38,065
But you should probably go.
21
00:00:38,134 --> 00:00:40,534
Sophie's coming home?
I'm definitely gonna go.
22
00:00:40,603 --> 00:00:42,503
I don't like seeing clients
outside of the office.
23
00:00:42,572 --> 00:00:45,139
You call them clients?
But you're so good with kids.
24
00:00:45,174 --> 00:00:47,541
Only when they're sick
and the power dynamic is clear.
25
00:00:47,610 --> 00:00:49,577
With a healthy kid,
I don't know what to say.
26
00:00:49,679 --> 00:00:50,544
Mm.
27
00:00:50,646 --> 00:00:51,846
Sophie, I...
28
00:00:51,914 --> 00:00:53,948
I know we haven't known
each other for that long,
29
00:00:54,017 --> 00:00:58,085
and please forgive me
if this seems insensitive,
30
00:00:58,187 --> 00:01:01,756
but is it hard for you
to watch your dad water plants?
31
00:01:01,858 --> 00:01:02,990
No.
32
00:01:03,092 --> 00:01:05,926
Next stop, your house.
33
00:01:16,139 --> 00:01:17,838
Change of plans. I'm now dropping off
34
00:01:17,907 --> 00:01:20,441
in order of projected career earnings.
35
00:01:20,510 --> 00:01:23,110
Graham, since you're the only
future white male in the car,
36
00:01:23,212 --> 00:01:24,945
- you'll be first.
- Yes!
37
00:01:24,981 --> 00:01:27,281
- Are you kidding me?! Stop!
- Gosh!
38
00:01:27,350 --> 00:01:30,251
Sorry, everyone else.
The world is an unfair place.
39
00:01:30,353 --> 00:01:33,387
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:35,725 --> 00:01:36,824
Ooh!
41
00:01:36,926 --> 00:01:39,026
New drama teacher
already feeling his oats.
42
00:01:39,051 --> 00:01:40,104
"Grease."
43
00:01:40,129 --> 00:01:42,029
Can't wait to see 7-year-olds
44
00:01:42,131 --> 00:01:43,631
tackle Rizzo's pregnancy scare.
45
00:01:43,733 --> 00:01:44,799
Well, Rory will be
46
00:01:44,867 --> 00:01:46,567
a transcendent Danny Zuko.
47
00:01:46,636 --> 00:01:48,235
Last year, when I saw him step
48
00:01:48,337 --> 00:01:49,770
on stage as Captain von Trapp,
49
00:01:49,872 --> 00:01:50,838
I knew I could just sit back,
50
00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:52,039
relax, and enjoy the ride
51
00:01:52,141 --> 00:01:53,641
because I was in the hands of a master.
52
00:01:53,743 --> 00:01:55,176
Don't get me started on Graham.
53
00:01:55,278 --> 00:01:57,511
Nazi 12 and Nun 13?
54
00:01:57,613 --> 00:01:59,046
Talk about a utility player.
55
00:01:59,148 --> 00:02:00,247
What was his line, again?
56
00:02:00,349 --> 00:02:01,749
He had two... "Look!"
57
00:02:01,851 --> 00:02:03,484
and "Maria?"
58
00:02:03,586 --> 00:02:05,052
Well, the girls are building sets.
59
00:02:05,121 --> 00:02:07,121
They just drew a papier-mâché
Greased Lightnin'
60
00:02:07,223 --> 00:02:08,422
that looks street legal.
61
00:02:08,524 --> 00:02:10,157
I'm afraid of my children.
62
00:02:11,221 --> 00:02:12,314
- Whoa!
- Wow!
63
00:02:12,361 --> 00:02:13,961
- I hate it.
- Me too.
64
00:02:14,063 --> 00:02:15,729
Screw papier-mâché!
65
00:02:15,798 --> 00:02:17,298
We need a real car.
66
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,900
Who has a car so crappy we can just...
67
00:02:20,002 --> 00:02:21,402
Forward! I want you to go forward!
68
00:02:24,874 --> 00:02:27,174
Whoa!
69
00:02:27,276 --> 00:02:28,809
Douglas! Big boy.
70
00:02:28,911 --> 00:02:30,244
Thank you
71
00:02:30,346 --> 00:02:32,913
with regards to my time management
72
00:02:33,015 --> 00:02:34,748
vis-à-vis watering the plants.
73
00:02:34,851 --> 00:02:36,981
You guys know I'm sleeping
with Dr. Dewan, huh?
74
00:02:37,006 --> 00:02:37,887
- Yeah.
- Of course.
75
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:38,953
What are we talking about?
76
00:02:39,055 --> 00:02:40,855
Will, how was it having sex
77
00:02:40,957 --> 00:02:42,256
for the first time...
78
00:02:42,358 --> 00:02:44,959
in half... a... decade?
79
00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:46,760
It's been...
80
00:02:46,863 --> 00:02:48,830
- dehydrating.
- Word.
81
00:02:48,892 --> 00:02:50,331
That's why I've been
doing so much eye drops.
82
00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:52,066
But also, it's so fun,
and I never want to stop.
83
00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:53,167
Nice.
84
00:02:53,269 --> 00:02:54,535
But I'm not ready to tell Sophie yet.
85
00:02:54,637 --> 00:02:56,670
And I-I-I'm so bad
at hiding it from her.
86
00:02:56,772 --> 00:02:58,506
Yesterday freaked me out.
87
00:02:58,608 --> 00:03:00,040
Yeah, well, close calls are
a part of being a single parent.
88
00:03:00,143 --> 00:03:01,675
We've all had 'em.
89
00:03:01,744 --> 00:03:03,344
Choir practice was cancelled.
90
00:03:03,446 --> 00:03:05,746
I know. Got your message. Be right in.
91
00:03:11,454 --> 00:03:13,621
And one time, I had to "E.T." a guy.
92
00:03:13,689 --> 00:03:15,489
Made him sit in Graham's
stuffed animal closet
93
00:03:15,558 --> 00:03:16,857
for two hours without moving.
94
00:03:16,926 --> 00:03:18,626
So, there are a few techniques.
95
00:03:18,728 --> 00:03:20,361
No. There's only one technique.
96
00:03:20,453 --> 00:03:21,370
Lie.
97
00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:22,663
Always lie.
98
00:03:22,765 --> 00:03:24,465
- We're home, Dad!
- We're home!
99
00:03:24,534 --> 00:03:26,033
Girls, uh...
100
00:03:26,135 --> 00:03:27,535
meet my sister Gail.
101
00:03:27,637 --> 00:03:30,337
- Yay!
- We have an Aunt Gail!
102
00:03:30,439 --> 00:03:32,706
Oh, Aunt Gail could go all night.
103
00:03:32,808 --> 00:03:34,475
Lie, Will. It's the only way.
104
00:03:34,577 --> 00:03:35,709
Not for me, okay?
105
00:03:35,778 --> 00:03:37,778
Sophie and I have
a very transparent relationship.
106
00:03:37,813 --> 00:03:39,914
I've never lied to her,
and I never will. Watch this.
107
00:03:40,016 --> 00:03:42,149
Sophie! Ask me a hard question.
108
00:03:42,218 --> 00:03:44,151
How old will I be when you die?
109
00:03:44,253 --> 00:03:45,486
Probably 51.
110
00:03:47,415 --> 00:03:50,082
Hey, Douglas, uh, your girls
are measuring my car.
111
00:03:50,184 --> 00:03:50,883
Should I be worried?
112
00:03:50,985 --> 00:03:52,560
With them, yes.
113
00:03:52,662 --> 00:03:54,720
Always yes.
114
00:03:58,259 --> 00:04:00,326
I've been cast as Vince Fontaine.
115
00:04:00,394 --> 00:04:02,194
- Who?
- The B-list celeb
116
00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:04,230
who judges high school
dance contests for some reason.
117
00:04:04,332 --> 00:04:06,065
I guess to supplement his income!
118
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:08,500
Well, who the hell got cast
as Danny Zuko?
119
00:04:08,603 --> 00:04:10,769
I've been cast as Danny Zuko!
120
00:04:11,672 --> 00:04:13,539
The lead of the musical "Grease"!
121
00:04:13,641 --> 00:04:14,640
Oh...
122
00:04:14,709 --> 00:04:16,909
I have so many lines, Mom!
123
00:04:16,978 --> 00:04:19,378
And I have to say them! On a platform!
124
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:20,913
In front of people!
125
00:04:21,015 --> 00:04:22,781
I think that's called a stage, honey.
126
00:04:22,850 --> 00:04:25,784
All that matters is that you do
your best and...
127
00:04:25,886 --> 00:04:26,785
have fun?
128
00:04:26,887 --> 00:04:27,820
Fun?!
129
00:04:27,888 --> 00:04:28,921
How can I have fun
130
00:04:29,023 --> 00:04:32,157
when the universe
has totally biffed it?!
131
00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:34,526
Thought you might be running low.
132
00:04:34,629 --> 00:04:35,327
Mm.
133
00:04:35,429 --> 00:04:36,862
How's Graham?
134
00:04:36,931 --> 00:04:39,098
I just caught him vomiting
mid-hand jive.
135
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,633
So, yeah, he's a little nervous.
136
00:04:40,701 --> 00:04:41,634
How's Rory?
137
00:04:41,736 --> 00:04:43,402
He's... He's great. Yeah.
138
00:04:43,504 --> 00:04:45,271
Unrelated, should we go
introduce ourselves
139
00:04:45,339 --> 00:04:46,939
to the new drama teacher? Just to...
140
00:04:47,008 --> 00:04:48,641
Just to what? Bum ourselves out?
141
00:04:48,709 --> 00:04:50,542
Oh, no, just to see what could be done
142
00:04:50,645 --> 00:04:52,645
about this whole casting boo-boo.
143
00:04:52,747 --> 00:04:54,647
You know, I mean, I never meddle, bu...
144
00:04:54,749 --> 00:04:55,714
- Poppy.
- Mm?
145
00:04:55,783 --> 00:04:58,584
Have you ever met my friend... Poppy?
146
00:04:59,687 --> 00:05:01,927
Okay. Okay. I meddle occasionally.
147
00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:02,855
- Occasionally?
- Bu...
148
00:05:02,923 --> 00:05:04,790
You beat up spelling bee judges.
149
00:05:04,859 --> 00:05:07,192
You blackmailed
the commissioner of T-Ball.
150
00:05:07,295 --> 00:05:09,495
And I still to this day
don't know how Rory,
151
00:05:09,597 --> 00:05:11,930
as a first grader,
gets to edit the yearbook.
152
00:05:12,033 --> 00:05:12,998
He has a vision...
153
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,700
Sensations! Hmm...
154
00:05:14,802 --> 00:05:16,035
Don't tell him that's also a condom.
155
00:05:17,079 --> 00:05:18,078
Okay, fine, I meddle.
156
00:05:18,147 --> 00:05:19,813
And no, Rory's not doing great.
157
00:05:19,915 --> 00:05:21,315
- He's a mess.
- Okay, look.
158
00:05:21,417 --> 00:05:23,183
What you call a casting boo-boo,
159
00:05:23,286 --> 00:05:25,719
I call a gross miscarriage of justice.
160
00:05:25,821 --> 00:05:27,288
- Right.
- You don't think I wanna meddle?
161
00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:29,990
I wanna meddle so hard, it hurts.
162
00:05:30,059 --> 00:05:31,158
But I won't.
163
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:34,361
Because no matter how hard it is
for me to watch,
164
00:05:34,430 --> 00:05:37,231
I'm just gonna have to accept
the fact that my son,
165
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:38,611
Graham...
166
00:05:38,668 --> 00:05:42,069
is going to have to carry...
a school play. Oh, God.
167
00:05:42,171 --> 00:05:43,470
Okay, fine, so your answer's no.
168
00:05:43,572 --> 00:05:44,972
Fair enough. We won't meddle.
169
00:05:45,941 --> 00:05:48,275
I won't meddle.
170
00:05:48,311 --> 00:05:50,177
Mr. Biscuits?
171
00:05:50,246 --> 00:05:52,713
- Hmm?
- I need to talk to you.
172
00:05:52,815 --> 00:05:54,815
You know, Mr. Biscuits was my father.
173
00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:56,984
Please, call me Dr. Biscuits.
174
00:05:57,053 --> 00:05:59,311
Huh. Okay.
175
00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:05,259
Why was this horrifying
snake earring under our couch?
176
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:09,421
Dr. Dewan left it here.
177
00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:11,131
- Dr. Dewan was here?
- Yes, she was.
178
00:06:11,233 --> 00:06:12,766
- With you?
- Yes.
179
00:06:12,835 --> 00:06:16,937
Why would my doctor
come to my house to see my dad?
180
00:06:17,039 --> 00:06:18,038
Oh, no.
181
00:06:18,107 --> 00:06:20,541
Am I really, really, really sick?
182
00:06:20,643 --> 00:06:22,076
No. No, honey.
183
00:06:22,144 --> 00:06:23,902
No, you are not sick.
184
00:06:23,971 --> 00:06:25,404
Then why was my doctor here?
185
00:06:25,506 --> 00:06:28,649
Because...
186
00:06:28,751 --> 00:06:29,917
you're the opposite of sick.
187
00:06:29,952 --> 00:06:32,286
Why would she tell you that in person?
188
00:06:32,355 --> 00:06:33,887
Or at all?
189
00:06:33,989 --> 00:06:35,556
Aren't lots of people
the opposite of sick?
190
00:06:35,658 --> 00:06:38,292
Not as opposite of sick as you.
191
00:06:38,427 --> 00:06:41,362
Dr. Dewan came to our house in person
192
00:06:41,464 --> 00:06:45,466
because you are
so the opposite of sick that...
193
00:06:45,568 --> 00:06:47,601
she nominated you for an award.
194
00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:48,635
And you won!
195
00:06:48,738 --> 00:06:50,904
Sophia Nairobi Cooper, congratulations!
196
00:06:51,006 --> 00:06:52,005
You're the winner
197
00:06:52,108 --> 00:06:55,442
of the Healthiest Child
in America Award!
198
00:06:55,511 --> 00:06:59,713
Healthiest Child In America
is an award you can win?
199
00:06:59,815 --> 00:07:01,582
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes!
200
00:07:01,684 --> 00:07:04,143
I'm the healthiest child in America!
201
00:07:04,245 --> 00:07:05,978
- Yay!
- Suck it, Gwen!
202
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,380
Gwen's a girl at school who
won't shut up about vitamins.
203
00:07:08,482 --> 00:07:10,082
I know who Gwen is
'cause I'm such a good father!
204
00:07:10,184 --> 00:07:13,252
- Yaaaaaaaaaay!
- Yaaaaaaaaaay!
205
00:07:13,354 --> 00:07:15,448
...aaaaaaaay.
206
00:07:15,971 --> 00:07:19,825
I got your text. Healthiest
Child in America? I hate it.
207
00:07:19,878 --> 00:07:22,211
But I want to tell you
something. I'm proud of you.
208
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,213
All I've ever wanted
was to make you proud.
209
00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:27,505
But not for this, okay?
I don't lie to Sophie ever.
210
00:07:27,552 --> 00:07:29,152
I can't lie, okay? I have to come clean.
211
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:30,286
No, no, no, no. You never come clean.
212
00:07:30,355 --> 00:07:32,422
You double down. You double down hard.
213
00:07:32,457 --> 00:07:34,023
Kids, Aunt Gail called.
214
00:07:34,092 --> 00:07:37,560
She did 23andMe, and it turns
out we're not related after all.
215
00:07:37,629 --> 00:07:40,363
I'm just glad my parents
aren't alive to find out.
216
00:07:40,432 --> 00:07:42,465
If they're even my parents.
217
00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:44,467
No offense to the twins,
but Sophie's smart.
218
00:07:44,536 --> 00:07:46,703
She's bought the lie for now,
but she's gonna figure it out.
219
00:07:46,805 --> 00:07:49,305
Nonsense. She's a child.
Children are dumb.
220
00:07:49,407 --> 00:07:52,108
Daddy, how come the Healthiest
Child in America Award
221
00:07:52,143 --> 00:07:53,309
doesn't have a website?
222
00:07:53,411 --> 00:07:55,278
- Are you sure it's real?
- What?!
223
00:07:55,347 --> 00:07:56,979
There's no
Healthiest-Child-In-America.com?
224
00:07:57,082 --> 00:07:58,915
No. There's not.
225
00:07:59,017 --> 00:08:00,350
I must have, um...
226
00:08:00,418 --> 00:08:03,219
Forgot how to teach your
daughter to use the Internet?
227
00:08:03,321 --> 00:08:04,454
"Dot com"?
228
00:08:04,522 --> 00:08:07,824
Come on, this is a clear-cut
"dot gov" situation.
229
00:08:07,892 --> 00:08:09,926
The Healthiest Child in America Awards
230
00:08:10,028 --> 00:08:11,461
are funded by taxpayers.
231
00:08:11,529 --> 00:08:12,695
Happily, I should add.
232
00:08:12,764 --> 00:08:13,830
My mistake.
233
00:08:13,898 --> 00:08:16,833
I just assumed it came
from the private sector.
234
00:08:16,901 --> 00:08:19,544
So, where am I accepting my award, Dad?
235
00:08:19,612 --> 00:08:22,038
You mean me? Just 'cause
Douglas is a dad, too, so...
236
00:08:22,107 --> 00:08:23,106
Washington, D.C.
237
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:24,515
The He-Chas are always
238
00:08:24,609 --> 00:08:26,109
- What he said. In...
- in Washington, D.C.
239
00:08:27,187 --> 00:08:28,411
We're still doing this, huh?
240
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,680
All right. I respect that.
241
00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,216
Why would you say
it's in Washington, D.C.?
242
00:08:33,284 --> 00:08:35,385
It's a national award.
Where else would it be held?
243
00:08:35,453 --> 00:08:37,253
- She's onto us.
- Okay, so you're trapped in a lie.
244
00:08:37,322 --> 00:08:39,889
You just keep on lying.
245
00:08:39,991 --> 00:08:41,858
Life's a wild ride, huh?
246
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,126
What if I can't lie my way out of it?
247
00:08:43,194 --> 00:08:44,727
Sophie has learned a lot
from "The Good Wife."
248
00:08:44,829 --> 00:08:46,229
You can. We can.
249
00:08:46,331 --> 00:08:47,730
Yes, she's a smart child,
250
00:08:47,799 --> 00:08:49,766
but even smart children get bored.
251
00:08:49,868 --> 00:08:52,368
All we have to do is just
keep dragging out the lie
252
00:08:52,404 --> 00:08:53,736
until she loses interest.
253
00:08:53,805 --> 00:08:56,072
We're in a war of attrition, my friend.
254
00:08:56,174 --> 00:08:57,774
Oh, good. I'm at war.
255
00:08:57,876 --> 00:08:59,718
- With my child.
- Yes.
256
00:09:01,246 --> 00:09:03,780
So, long story riveting,
my porridge won.
257
00:09:03,882 --> 00:09:05,748
And that's how I got
my honorary doctorate.
258
00:09:05,817 --> 00:09:06,616
And you are?
259
00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:08,885
Uh, Poppy Banks. I'm Rory's mother.
260
00:09:08,987 --> 00:09:10,953
Yes, your son is wildly talented.
261
00:09:11,055 --> 00:09:12,588
Thank you.
262
00:09:12,624 --> 00:09:14,290
But you didn't cast him as Danny.
263
00:09:14,359 --> 00:09:15,892
Precisely. Too expected.
264
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,795
You see, Ms. Banks, theater
should never be comfortable.
265
00:09:18,863 --> 00:09:22,131
Theater should never
be safe... anywhere.
266
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:26,335
But especially... especially...
here in elementary school.
267
00:09:26,404 --> 00:09:27,970
- I couldn't agree more.
- Mm.
268
00:09:28,039 --> 00:09:30,840
I mean, a straight-ahead,
down-the-middle "Grease"?
269
00:09:30,909 --> 00:09:32,542
Yawn.
270
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:33,943
And that's not the Biscuits way.
271
00:09:34,012 --> 00:09:35,144
Ah, you've read my book.
272
00:09:35,246 --> 00:09:36,312
Of course.
273
00:09:36,414 --> 00:09:38,514
You know what I'd do if I had my copy
274
00:09:38,616 --> 00:09:39,749
o-of...
275
00:09:39,851 --> 00:09:40,917
"Daddy Never Clapped."
276
00:09:41,019 --> 00:09:41,918
Yes.
277
00:09:41,986 --> 00:09:44,554
Oh, I would turn to chapter...
278
00:09:44,656 --> 00:09:46,022
125.
279
00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:48,658
"Sleep with Caution All You
Like, But Always Marry Danger."
280
00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:50,059
And I'd say...
281
00:09:51,296 --> 00:09:54,263
...What about expanding
the role of Vince Fontaine?
282
00:09:54,365 --> 00:09:56,599
Ooh.
283
00:09:56,668 --> 00:10:00,102
"Grease" as seen through
the lens of Rydell High's
284
00:10:00,171 --> 00:10:03,139
first African-American
celebrity dance contest judge.
285
00:10:03,241 --> 00:10:04,941
Mm.
286
00:10:07,979 --> 00:10:09,078
What?! How the...
287
00:10:11,115 --> 00:10:12,148
They're seven!
288
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:14,217
How would you like for your car
289
00:10:14,252 --> 00:10:16,552
to become the Greased Lightnin'?
290
00:10:16,621 --> 00:10:18,754
You want my car for your play?
291
00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:20,389
Aw, look who came to class.
292
00:10:20,458 --> 00:10:22,058
Don't you want a cool car?
293
00:10:22,126 --> 00:10:23,759
Sure, but look at this heap.
294
00:10:23,862 --> 00:10:25,261
It'll never be Greased Lightnin'.
295
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,597
This car could have AC and heating.
296
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:29,832
Zero leaking.
297
00:10:30,835 --> 00:10:33,236
Upholstered seating.
298
00:10:33,338 --> 00:10:36,839
This car could be Greased Lightnin'?
299
00:10:36,941 --> 00:10:39,609
♪ We'll get some overhead lifters ♪
300
00:10:39,711 --> 00:10:41,577
♪ And four barrel quads, oh, yeah ♪
301
00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,705
♪ Keep talkin', whoa, keep talkin' ♪
302
00:10:43,783 --> 00:10:45,348
♪ With a four-speed on the floor ♪
303
00:10:45,416 --> 00:10:47,986
♪ They'll be waiting
at the door, Greased Lightnin' ♪
304
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,253
♪ Go, go, go, go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go ♪
305
00:10:50,355 --> 00:10:51,787
♪ Go, Greased Lightnin' ♪
306
00:10:51,856 --> 00:10:53,523
♪ You're burnin' up the quarter mile ♪
307
00:10:53,558 --> 00:10:55,725
♪ Greased Lightnin',
go, Greased Lightnin' ♪
308
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,994
♪ You are supreme, the chicks'll scream ♪
♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
309
00:10:58,062 --> 00:11:00,563
♪ For Greased Lightnin', yeah ♪
♪ Go, go, go ♪
310
00:11:00,665 --> 00:11:02,273
♪ Go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go ♪
311
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:05,710
♪ Yeah, I said go,
Greased Lightnin', go ♪
312
00:11:05,812 --> 00:11:08,070
♪ I said go, you crazy car ♪
313
00:11:08,172 --> 00:11:10,172
♪ I said Greasy Lightning,
Greasy Thunder ♪
314
00:11:10,275 --> 00:11:12,775
♪ Sca-ba-doo-bow-boo-ba ♪
315
00:11:12,844 --> 00:11:14,810
Why did Vince Fontaine
stop the dance contest
316
00:11:14,913 --> 00:11:16,178
to sing "Greased Lightnin'"?
317
00:11:16,281 --> 00:11:18,614
And who invited him
to the girls' sleepover?
318
00:11:18,716 --> 00:11:20,550
He pierced Sandy's ears!
319
00:11:21,653 --> 00:11:23,386
You totally meddled!
320
00:11:23,488 --> 00:11:24,987
Okay, yes, I meddled
321
00:11:25,056 --> 00:11:26,756
so that Graham could have less lines.
322
00:11:26,781 --> 00:11:28,010
- I thought you'd be happy.
- Happy?
323
00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:30,226
Please, I'm thrilled
Graham has less lines.
324
00:11:30,328 --> 00:11:32,061
But that's me just being selfish.
325
00:11:32,163 --> 00:11:33,629
What if it would be a good thing
326
00:11:33,698 --> 00:11:34,897
for Graham to be a lead in the play?
327
00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:37,333
What if, I don't know, it got
him out of his comfort zone?
328
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:40,503
What if he is one
of the great actors of our time?
329
00:11:40,605 --> 00:11:43,839
Help! The grease in my hair
is attracting bees! Aah!
330
00:11:43,942 --> 00:11:46,943
Don't pretend that you meddled
on Graham's behalf.
331
00:11:46,978 --> 00:11:49,745
You've never done it before,
and he struggles all the time.
332
00:11:49,847 --> 00:11:51,347
Struggling is his brand.
333
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:53,149
You rewrote "Grease"
334
00:11:53,251 --> 00:11:55,217
because you couldn't stand
to see Rory struggle.
335
00:11:55,286 --> 00:11:57,119
I did not rewrite "Grease."
336
00:11:57,188 --> 00:11:58,721
A meddler operates in the shadows.
337
00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:01,090
All I did was ask Biscuits
if he could explore the idea
338
00:12:01,159 --> 00:12:02,625
of expanding the Fontaine-i-verse!
339
00:12:02,727 --> 00:12:04,493
What the hell is Biscuits?!
340
00:12:04,596 --> 00:12:07,196
I the hell am Biscuits!
341
00:12:07,298 --> 00:12:08,931
Take five, everyone!
342
00:12:11,302 --> 00:12:12,969
Everyone but you two.
343
00:12:14,505 --> 00:12:15,671
So, that's the new drama teacher?
344
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:16,872
Yeah, that's Biscuits.
345
00:12:16,975 --> 00:12:18,307
Ohhh.
346
00:12:18,409 --> 00:12:20,943
Biscuits is a person.
347
00:12:21,045 --> 00:12:23,746
And that's why,
if we are forced to have them,
348
00:12:23,848 --> 00:12:25,314
the 50th Annual He-Chas
349
00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:28,517
will be the crown jewel
of the D.C. banquet season.
350
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:30,252
Now, I have some broadsheets in the car.
351
00:12:30,355 --> 00:12:31,487
Where do you keep your easel?
352
00:12:31,589 --> 00:12:32,822
Where don't I keep my easel?
353
00:12:37,895 --> 00:12:39,095
- Hey!
- Hey.
354
00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:41,097
Uh, what are you doing here?
355
00:12:41,199 --> 00:12:42,965
You texted me to come over.
356
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:44,834
No, I didn't.
How could I have texted you?
357
00:12:44,936 --> 00:12:46,636
I don't even know where my phone is.
358
00:12:46,704 --> 00:12:49,438
Your passcode is Al Roker's birthday?
359
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:50,940
Pretty weak, Dad.
360
00:12:51,042 --> 00:12:53,376
Dr. Dewan. Please, come in.
361
00:12:53,478 --> 00:12:56,879
There's much to discuss.
362
00:12:59,617 --> 00:13:01,774
And so it begins.
363
00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:04,743
Okay, I know you only like
being around sick kids...
364
00:13:04,821 --> 00:13:06,649
- Clients.
- So weird that you call them that,
365
00:13:06,674 --> 00:13:07,632
but okay, fine.
366
00:13:07,657 --> 00:13:09,915
Your client, Sophie,
my daughter, is not sick.
367
00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:11,893
Gross. Then what am I doing here?
368
00:13:11,961 --> 00:13:13,061
I need you to help me
outsmart her, okay?
369
00:13:13,108 --> 00:13:14,186
I can't let her find out about you.
370
00:13:14,234 --> 00:13:16,334
Oh, God. I told you to just tell her.
371
00:13:16,370 --> 00:13:18,649
Well, we are past that,
and if she finds out I'm lying,
372
00:13:18,695 --> 00:13:20,572
I'm gonna have to spend all my
time trying to regain her trust,
373
00:13:20,641 --> 00:13:22,974
and I will not have time to bed you.
374
00:13:23,043 --> 00:13:24,209
And you know how well I do that.
375
00:13:24,277 --> 00:13:26,578
I do. Nothing has surprised me more.
376
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,232
All right, what do you need me to do?
377
00:13:28,294 --> 00:13:29,914
Memorize this... you nominated Sophie
378
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,549
for The Healthiest Child
in America Award,
379
00:13:31,618 --> 00:13:33,418
and the ceremony's in
Washington, D.C.'s Ritz-Carlton.
380
00:13:33,487 --> 00:13:34,686
The appetizers are in the lobby,
381
00:13:34,721 --> 00:13:36,254
and the banquet's
in the Crescent Room. Got it?
382
00:13:36,289 --> 00:13:37,689
Got it. Just one question.
383
00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:40,592
Is there a vegetarian option?
384
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:41,760
Ohh, you...
385
00:13:43,664 --> 00:13:45,497
I don't know. I'll have to
check with Douglas. Come on.
386
00:13:50,437 --> 00:13:52,337
You sit here, Dr. Dewan.
387
00:13:56,109 --> 00:13:59,511
Dr. Dewan, am I
the healthiest child in America?
388
00:13:59,579 --> 00:14:02,714
I wouldn't have nominated you
if you weren't. Congratulations.
389
00:14:02,783 --> 00:14:05,050
You got one hell
of a woman on your hands here.
390
00:14:05,118 --> 00:14:06,685
Will I be expected to change gowns
391
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,286
between appetizers in the Crescent Room
392
00:14:08,355 --> 00:14:09,587
and the banquet in the lobby?
393
00:14:09,656 --> 00:14:11,056
Sorry, appetizers are in the lobby
394
00:14:11,158 --> 00:14:13,124
and the banquet is in the Crescent Room.
395
00:14:13,193 --> 00:14:15,527
And I'm sure
that one gown will be plenty.
396
00:14:15,595 --> 00:14:17,889
Exquisitely handled.
Frankly, she's too good for you.
397
00:14:17,952 --> 00:14:19,431
Just one more question.
398
00:14:19,499 --> 00:14:20,832
There's been rumors going around
399
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,034
saying that the banquet
might be rescheduled.
400
00:14:23,136 --> 00:14:24,169
Is that true?
401
00:14:24,271 --> 00:14:25,637
Uh... um...
402
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:26,805
A-A ru... A rumor?
403
00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:28,673
Uh, that's news to me.
404
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:30,642
That's right, Sophie.
The rumors are true.
405
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,343
The banquet is rescheduled.
406
00:14:32,446 --> 00:14:33,878
- For when?
- For tonight.
407
00:14:34,715 --> 00:14:36,247
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
408
00:14:36,349 --> 00:14:38,083
Bring it.
409
00:14:38,118 --> 00:14:39,951
When was the banquet
originally scheduled for?
410
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:42,220
- Christmas Eve.
- Why is it being rescheduled?
411
00:14:42,289 --> 00:14:44,222
Because there's a forecast
for inclement weather.
412
00:14:44,324 --> 00:14:45,490
But it's an indoor banquet.
413
00:14:45,592 --> 00:14:48,093
Main course indoors,
dessert course outdoors.
414
00:14:48,195 --> 00:14:49,828
- What's the dessert course?
- Ice cream bar.
415
00:14:49,896 --> 00:14:51,529
Outdoor ice cream in December?
416
00:14:51,631 --> 00:14:52,964
Coats provided.
417
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,866
- How late will it go?
- All night long, baby.
418
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:57,202
Washington, D.C.,
has a 24-hour, year-round,
419
00:14:57,304 --> 00:14:58,937
- outdoor ice-cream venue?
- You heard me.
420
00:14:59,005 --> 00:15:00,605
What's it called?
421
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:03,708
Event-Boyz Entertainment presents
422
00:15:03,810 --> 00:15:05,610
Ice Cream Under The Stars
423
00:15:05,712 --> 00:15:08,113
at Arlington National Cemetery.
424
00:15:08,215 --> 00:15:10,381
Okay, you know what? Stop, stop!
I can't take it anymore.
425
00:15:10,484 --> 00:15:12,529
Sophie... you are not
426
00:15:12,599 --> 00:15:14,452
- the healthiest child in America.
- Duh.
427
00:15:14,554 --> 00:15:16,121
Perhaps in an unofficial capacity...
428
00:15:16,189 --> 00:15:17,288
She's not. I mean, sure, she's healthy,
429
00:15:17,390 --> 00:15:18,323
but let's just say I'm not in love
430
00:15:18,425 --> 00:15:20,759
with the ammonia levels in her urine.
431
00:15:20,861 --> 00:15:21,993
Honey...
432
00:15:22,062 --> 00:15:25,130
Dr. Dewan and I are seeing each other.
433
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:29,100
And I lied to you about a fake banquet
434
00:15:29,169 --> 00:15:31,402
because I was scared
to tell you the truth.
435
00:15:31,505 --> 00:15:32,837
I'm sorry.
436
00:15:32,906 --> 00:15:36,731
And I'm sorry that your dad
suffers from a rare disorder
437
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:40,385
that makes him think
real banquets are actually fake.
438
00:15:41,848 --> 00:15:42,914
What's it called?
439
00:15:44,618 --> 00:15:47,852
Hypo-banquetitis-phrenia...
440
00:15:47,954 --> 00:15:49,754
Type... B.
441
00:15:49,856 --> 00:15:50,688
Fine!
442
00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:53,124
You win! There's no banquet!
443
00:15:55,495 --> 00:15:56,327
Places.
444
00:15:56,429 --> 00:15:57,929
Mr. Biscuits, I'm not sure why...
445
00:15:57,964 --> 00:16:00,465
Dr. Biscuits. Or else he'll do
an hour on the Porridge Fair.
446
00:16:00,534 --> 00:16:02,901
You are here because
you interrupted rehearsal
447
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,702
and you made a mockery
448
00:16:04,771 --> 00:16:07,305
of everything
the cast of "Winter Homecoming:
449
00:16:07,374 --> 00:16:11,009
Vince Fontaine's Grease Legacy,
Part One" holds dear.
450
00:16:11,111 --> 00:16:13,411
And I would like to know why.
451
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,679
Fair enough. You know what?
452
00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:16,956
We'll hash it out at home
and get back to you.
453
00:16:17,011 --> 00:16:18,383
Ah! This is your home now.
454
00:16:18,485 --> 00:16:20,385
A chapel where two friends
455
00:16:20,453 --> 00:16:23,288
can bridge the rift
that has grown between them.
456
00:16:23,390 --> 00:16:24,923
In the theater, we live,
457
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,624
we uncover,
458
00:16:26,726 --> 00:16:27,826
and we heal.
459
00:16:28,829 --> 00:16:31,429
O-O-kay. I-I didn't understand
m-most of that.
460
00:16:31,498 --> 00:16:32,730
None of us understand any of it!
461
00:16:32,799 --> 00:16:34,699
And lights up on...
462
00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:37,635
Oh, me?
463
00:16:39,673 --> 00:16:40,872
Uh...
464
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:44,876
- I think...
- Think as a smoker.
465
00:16:46,847 --> 00:16:48,546
All right, look, speaking for myself,
466
00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:49,639
- I just wanted to s...
- Unh-unh!
467
00:16:49,783 --> 00:16:51,249
No one speaks for themselves
468
00:16:51,351 --> 00:16:53,351
unless they're wounded.
469
00:16:53,453 --> 00:16:54,519
Oh.
470
00:16:54,621 --> 00:16:56,487
And limp.
471
00:16:59,993 --> 00:17:01,392
I know I shouldn't meddle,
472
00:17:01,461 --> 00:17:03,728
but there are just so many times
that I can't protect Rory.
473
00:17:03,830 --> 00:17:04,963
So when I can, I do.
474
00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:06,764
- Can I take that again?
- Yes.
475
00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:10,068
So when I can, I do!
476
00:17:10,103 --> 00:17:11,769
Poppy, you are a terrible scene partner.
477
00:17:11,805 --> 00:17:13,137
You're not even looking at me.
478
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,941
I know you are terrified
to see your kid fail,
479
00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:19,244
but kids need to fail.
It's good for them.
480
00:17:19,312 --> 00:17:20,879
And coming from someone
481
00:17:20,947 --> 00:17:23,581
who sees their kid fail all the time,
482
00:17:23,650 --> 00:17:25,884
believe me, you get used to it.
483
00:17:25,986 --> 00:17:27,418
Really.
484
00:17:29,689 --> 00:17:31,089
And curtain.
485
00:17:31,191 --> 00:17:35,193
I can only pray that your sons
can create such truth on stage.
486
00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:36,427
And that you have a loved one
487
00:17:36,496 --> 00:17:38,463
that can attend and record it for you.
488
00:17:38,565 --> 00:17:40,999
Because the punishment
for disrupting rehearsal
489
00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,400
is banishment from the theater.
490
00:17:42,502 --> 00:17:43,401
Forever.
491
00:17:45,572 --> 00:17:47,005
I'm joking!
492
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,239
Just for this play.
493
00:17:48,341 --> 00:17:51,075
Which, by the way,
is just "Grease," after all.
494
00:17:51,144 --> 00:17:54,812
I'm saving "Winter Homecoming:
V.F.G.L. One" for summer stock,
495
00:17:54,915 --> 00:17:56,814
where the nudity won't be watered down.
496
00:17:59,519 --> 00:18:01,386
I'm really sorry I lied.
497
00:18:01,421 --> 00:18:04,088
And I'm sorry for seeing through
your lie, calling your bluff,
498
00:18:04,157 --> 00:18:06,024
and forcing you to be honest with me.
499
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:07,558
So, I guess we both made mistakes.
500
00:18:07,661 --> 00:18:09,627
Sophie, you know that you are
501
00:18:09,729 --> 00:18:11,976
the most important person
in the world to me, right?
502
00:18:12,039 --> 00:18:14,766
And I was just scared that
if I started dating someone,
503
00:18:14,834 --> 00:18:16,768
you might worry
that that's not true anymore.
504
00:18:16,836 --> 00:18:17,937
I get it.
505
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,939
Mom's far away, and it's been
just you and me for...
506
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:22,307
That's all I needed to hear.
I'll never date again.
507
00:18:22,409 --> 00:18:23,574
No, no. I want you to.
508
00:18:23,677 --> 00:18:25,743
It'll be weird sharing you with someone,
509
00:18:25,845 --> 00:18:28,513
- but also maybe good?
- Hmm.
510
00:18:28,615 --> 00:18:29,881
You can be a lot, Dad.
511
00:18:29,916 --> 00:18:31,282
Imagine what it's like being me.
512
00:18:31,384 --> 00:18:32,550
At least you get a break.
513
00:18:32,619 --> 00:18:34,374
Listen, I won't always
tell you everything
514
00:18:34,437 --> 00:18:35,460
if I think it's for your own good,
515
00:18:35,522 --> 00:18:38,456
but I promise you,
I will never lie to you.
516
00:18:38,525 --> 00:18:40,959
And if you ever have
any questions, I'm always here.
517
00:18:42,562 --> 00:18:44,762
Have you and Dr. Dewan held hands?
518
00:18:44,831 --> 00:18:46,764
Oh, we're doing questions now.
Okay, great.
519
00:18:46,866 --> 00:18:48,066
Yes, we've held hands.
520
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,767
Does it sometimes feel like
you're from Mars
521
00:18:49,836 --> 00:18:51,703
- and she's from Venus?
- Constantly.
522
00:18:51,738 --> 00:18:52,971
What were you guys doing
that mashed her earring
523
00:18:53,073 --> 00:18:54,605
so far into the carpet?
524
00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:56,808
And we've already arrived at something
I won't tell you for your own good.
525
00:18:56,876 --> 00:18:58,176
- Sorry.
- Don't be.
526
00:18:58,244 --> 00:19:00,645
When it's for your own good,
I don't tell you everything.
527
00:19:00,714 --> 00:19:02,413
Great. I'm glad about that.
528
00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:04,215
That's totally healthy.
529
00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:15,994
This is boring.
530
00:19:16,997 --> 00:19:18,930
Okay, so, I just saw this play
531
00:19:19,032 --> 00:19:20,531
performed with all the characters.
532
00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:23,701
Now we're gonna watch it again
with just two characters? Why?
533
00:19:23,770 --> 00:19:26,170
Because Angie and I were banned
from the official premiere.
534
00:19:26,272 --> 00:19:28,439
But not the unauthorized,
two-man encore,
535
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:30,708
which leaves 15 roles uncast.
536
00:19:30,810 --> 00:19:32,276
So could be some dead spots.
537
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,912
There won't be any. 'Cause
my car steals every scene.
538
00:19:35,015 --> 00:19:35,913
Yeah, yeah.
539
00:19:36,016 --> 00:19:37,281
Oh, shh-shh-shh! Here she comes.
540
00:19:45,892 --> 00:19:48,092
Hey, you guys, what's shakin'?
541
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:52,764
Well, I spent most of my time
down at the beach.
542
00:19:53,933 --> 00:19:56,567
Is that all you ever think about, Sonny?
543
00:19:58,805 --> 00:20:00,038
I'm lost.
544
00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:01,439
Has Danny gone crazy?
545
00:20:01,541 --> 00:20:03,903
Dude, I'm watching
the same play you are.
546
00:20:07,568 --> 00:20:09,854
So, you got the word, huh?
Ease off, Kenickie.
547
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:12,658
Stop it!
548
00:20:13,767 --> 00:20:15,233
I'm sorry you had to see me lose
549
00:20:15,263 --> 00:20:17,163
my greatest parenting gift like that.
550
00:20:17,265 --> 00:20:18,798
I'm certain your ability
to lie to children
551
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:20,366
will come back eventually.
552
00:20:20,435 --> 00:20:21,385
Yeah, but what if...
553
00:20:21,436 --> 00:20:24,137
what if it doesn't?
554
00:20:24,239 --> 00:20:25,905
Oh, Sandy,
555
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,674
you're something else.
556
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:36,049
- Whoo!
- So, what did everyone think?
557
00:20:40,288 --> 00:20:41,421
It was the finest play
558
00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:43,106
that any of us have ever seen.
559
00:20:43,153 --> 00:20:44,891
- Good job, guys.
- So good.
560
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,860
And we'd like to see it again right now.
561
00:20:46,928 --> 00:20:48,194
- What?
- No.
562
00:20:48,296 --> 00:20:49,863
What? I lie, and then I double down.
563
00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:51,331
I've made that very clear.
564
00:20:51,433 --> 00:20:52,465
Come on!
565
00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:55,101
Hey, you guys, what's shakin'?
566
00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:58,071
Well, I spent most of my time
down at the beach.
567
00:20:58,095 --> 00:21:00,495
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
41363
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